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“You smell so good baby, why do you smell so good?”
“Because you drank half a liquor cabinet.”
Even if he hadn’t been witness to that grand display hours earlier. Robert could always tell when Chad was drunk, he only called him baby when he was completely inebriated, when he was sober it was usually something even more endearing like “bitch” or “bob-bob.”
His boyfriend always had a way with words.
“Chad…” He said when he felt the other male’s weight against his back. “You’re distracting me.”
In response he heard a soft rumbling voice against his ear, a drunken growl that was accompanied with the feeling of warm breath against his skin that he would never admit gave him goosebumps.
“Gonna fuck your brains out.” Chad chuckled against his ear.
“I know.” Robert said. “You said that at the house of the guy we were robbing, and on the way to the car, and then in the car, and getting into-” He loses his train of thought when an arm wraps around his waist, pulling him hard against the warm chest behind him and for a second.
Just a second. Robert forgets how to breath.
“Mean it this time.” He feels Chad chuckle more than he hears it. “Gonna have you screaming like a bitch.”
“Ah there it is.” Robert lifts a hand to aimlessly pat his cheek. “Must be sobering up after all, let me unlock the door.”
He manages to focus on putting the key in the lock before he is once again distracted, this time by the feeling of lips pressing against the skin under his earlobe in a rough caress that slowly begins to trail towards his neck. “Chad” he manages to say, though his thoughts were beginning to become disjointed. “I know what you’re doing, we are not fucking in the hallway. Again.”
“But it’s funnn.” Chad chuckled.
“We’ll get another complaint.” Robert manages to say. Trying not to focus on the grinding that was currently occurring against his ass. “Landlord will talk to us again.”
“I’ll kill em.”
“No.” Now where was that…Ah there it was. It took a second or two of fumbling around before he managed to actually turn the key and open the door. He almost falls onto the hardwood floor but Chad’s arm around his waist holds firm, he would have thanked him.
Keyword being would. If the other male hadn’t picked him up bridal style a few seconds later, his other arm went behind his knees before he even realized he was doing it and he picked him up as if he was a bag of grapes. .
The bastard didn’t even let out a grunt or any sign that he put effort into it.
“What the hell are you doing?” He sputters out, watching Chad smirk down at him. “Gotta…Gonna carry you over the threshold, bitch.”
Robert puts a hand over his face to cover that stupid, handsome smirk. “That’s for brides, dumbass.”
“You’re my bride, bob-bob.” And sure enough he carried him inside, like a groom carrying his blushing bride on their wedding night, and damn it if that didn’t make his cheeks suddenly feel so damn warm.
“Bed.” He said, hoping the other male didn’t hear the tremble in his voice. He still wasn’t entirely sure on exactly how drunk Chad was.
“Wanna-”
“I know, I know. Fuck my brains out, but you’re doing it on a bed.” He felt Chad’s smile widen under his palm, before he began to stumble carry him towards their bedroom and Robert became very much aware of the fact that he’s being carried by a man who almost drank an entire liquor cabinet.
His hand pressed against Chad’s face. “Put me down before you fall and crush me.” He said as he squirmed, managing to slip out of the embrace and land back onto his feat. Taking advantage of the fact that he wasn’t his usual coordinated self.
Robert quickly held onto Chad’s arm to keep him steady when he noticed him lean almost a little too much to the left and almost hit a wall. Supporting his weight the rest of the way before unceremoniously dumping him onto the bed, the man bounced once with a laugh as he landed on his back with his feet dangling off the bed.
“Hold still.” Robert sighed as he straddled him, trying to find the zipper of the flame themed costume.
Chad’s hand sloppily slapped his ass. “Sexy time.”
“No, your stupid costume is connected to your boots and you are not getting my sheets dirty.”
“Sex…Smex time.”
Robert placed a finger against Chad’s lips. “Sleepy time.”
Chad pressed a kiss to his finger. “No, stop that. And we’re getting you a new costume that isn’t so damn complicated, I told you this was a bad idea.”
“Know you like it babyyy.” Oh he was definitely still drunk. When he finally got the damn thing off, he threw the offending cloth across the room, before letting himself get dragged down so he was laying on top of him.
“Se-”
“Sleep.” Robert interrupted, hesitating for a moment before saying. “Maybe sex time in the morning.”
Chad hummed softly. “Tacos?...”
“You’ll be too busy with your hangover to make them.” Robert said, managing to kick off his shoes and letting Chad maneuver him so his head was the other male’s bare chest. “So yes. I will get you tacos.”
“Best bitch in the world.” Chad’s voice was softer now, his chest was practically rumbling, meaning that it wasn’t long before he passed out.
“I know.” Robert said, almost on autopilot.
“I love you….”
“I-Wait what?” Robert managed to squirm and sit up a bit, despite the dead weight of Chad’s arm around his waist. “Chad, what did you just say?” He reached out, his fingers grasping Chad’s chin so he could look at him, and was met with a soft snore and closed eyes.
He fell asleep. The son of a bitch dropped a bomb on him and then fell asleep.
“Oh you’re gonna be lucky to even get one taco tomorrow.” Robert whispered to the unconscious man beneath him. “And you better not forget this in the morning.”
Chad did in fact forget in the morning, and was very confused when a taco was thrown at his face.