Chapter Text
As if it wasn't already a pain in the ass that Cerberus existed, someone decided that they needed even bigger and more mutated zombie dogs. And how did they accomplish that? They combined a licker and a Cerberus and created a creature that was bigger than both of those. It had the lack of eyes, exposed brain, and claws of Lickers(thankfully not the tongue though) and a coat of fur that was pitted with holes that exposed its muscle and skeletal system, plus the agility of the Cerberus. Overall, the new creature was wily and hard to deal with, though it thankfully wasn't able to crawl on walls and ceilings.
As per usual, the moron who'd created these atrocities had lost his life to them and so had his assistants. That meant that the new BOWs were now running free in the laboratory that had been set up in a cave with nowhere for them to go other than out. There was a town not far from this cave system and they'd already had some of their people go missing while heading into this cave for its natural crystals.
Leon had done quite a few missions for the BSAA at this point, settling into his new job well, if he did say so himself. His Anti-Bioterrorism unit that didn't legally exist had been converted into the Division of Security Operations and made an official department in the government, and they'd actually cut his tracker out and given him his freedom back(yeah, he was surprised too). So, naturally, Leon had immediately tracked Sherry down, convinced her to go with him, and immediately left the DSO for the BSAA. The stamp of approval was barely dry on his resignation form(as if it would stop him if they didn't approve it) when he was accepted to be an SOA–a Special Operations Agent–in the BSAA. There was a sense of camaraderie at the BSAA that he'd craved for years. That being said, when he was given the choice to be a solo agent or work with a partner, he chose to keep working solo. Leon had a hard time finding suitable partners and he was already used to working alone. Honestly, he was just glad to have resources now, much less paid leave, insurance, and an actual retirement plan that wasn't death.
He hadn't called for backup a single time yet–Leon didn't think of himself as a prideful man, but he may have to re-evaluate that given the way he bristled at the idea of calling in some help to aid him on his missions. But really, who could blame him? He'd taken down way more BOWs than this small pack of monsters on his own before. He didn't need the help, he was literally trained for what his former superiors liked to call Crowd Control. Leon and his Unit were made into One Man Armies and sent out to every dark corner of the world to handle shit like this. He would have finished the mission and returned to base to debrief with another successful mission under his belt if it weren't for the venom that was apparently stored in the BOWs’ claws.
The good thing about the cave setting was that Leon could fit into nooks and onto ledges the bigger creatures couldn't reach. The acoustics of the cave were easily negated by taking his boots, and behind that, Leon was good at being silent. He'd scared the shit out of his new coworkers about a dozen times simply by walking up to them without making a sound. It wasn't something he did consciously, but it was kind of funny to watch them jump when all he'd been doing was standing right next to them.
So, Leon managed to pick off the beasts until there was only one left. Unfortunately for him, the thing had more sense than its fallen brethren and made a run for it, heading for the entrance of the cave. Leon cursed, chasing after it and just managing to time his throw so his last explosive A) blew up right at the entrance to the cave and B) injured the BOW. The thing limped away from the falling rocks that now blocked off the only exit and Leon dispatched it with his knife, having run out of ammo.
Then he turned and stared at the collapsed entrance.
Anyone else would think that it was a stupid plan in hindsight, but Leon wasn't anyone else. He'd rather lock himself in a cave with decomposing corpses than let any BOWs escape and reach the village not far from here. He knew how much damage just one bow could cause, especially one three times the size of the average human male.
He tried his comms as close to the cave-in as he dared, but there was no signal. His next solution was trying to dig his way out, but he wasn't exactly equipped for that and the pile of rocks was unstable–he gave up on that plan when he almost got his hand crushed.
Finally, he sighed and pressed his distress beacon. It would reach further than his comms and didn't depend on radio waves, rather it reached satellites that would show his location. It was a slim chance that the thing would actually reach even by the entrance of the cave, but it was the only option he had.
The Agent sighed and sat down, relying on the steady blinking of the beacon to see–his flashlight had been damaged and stopped working and the setup the Scientist had was deeper in the cave and had been pretty much demolished by his creations anyway. There was no food or water in the scientist's storage, but Leon did have half a flask of water that should last him a while. His phone was in his locker at work since they weren't allowed to take personal devices out into the field(which he stood by) and there was nothing else for him to do but sit and wait.
Leon was bad at that–not because he was an impatient man, no, Leon was good at stakeouts. But being alone with his thoughts in a cave where every little noise echoed and he was supposedly the only living thing around? No thanks.
He closed his eyes and willed himself to get as comfy as he could against the cave wall. The cordless weren't decomposing enough to smell yet, so all he could smell was the damp stone of the cave. Water dropped from a stalagmite above somewhere and the sound echoed. It actually helped–Leon couldn't stand complete silence. It made his thoughts feel too loud, if that made sense.
He did actually manage to fall asleep, comforted by the constant brightening and fading of the beacon and the water dripping and the scent of the cave. Hopefully, he'd be awoken by rescuers digging him out of here and he could go home and take a shower and order takeout for dinner and take those new sleeping pills he's been prescribed to help with the night terrors. He thought he'd at least earned that after all this.
§~•~§~•~§
When Leon woke next, it was to the sound of his own scream echoing back at him off of the cave walls. He'd had a nightmare. It was one he recognized, but he hadn't had this one in a long time.
When Leon's parents died, he’d only been 7 years old and he'd had to hide from the men who killed them in front of him. He was still small enough to fit under and inside most good hiding places at that age and he'd had to constantly strain his ears for the sounds of the attackers searching the rooms around whichever one he was in so he could find a new hiding place before they reached his.
It had been night time, and none of the lights in the house were on because they'd just gotten home from dinner, so every place he found to seek refuge in was pitch black as he waited to be found and dragged out by the men. He'd been listening to them talk all night about what they wanted to do to his mother's body. Silent tears had tracked down his cheeks for the entire horrible experience, wondering what they'd do to him if they caught him.
Now, in this cave, he opened his eyes to see….nothing. It was pitch black and there wasn't a single source of light. It took him a moment to realize that his beacon must have run out of battery at some point and now he was trapped in this cave with no way to see and completely alone. He had no way to even tell if the beacon had reached outside of the cave and thus, no way to know if help was coming.
The panic set in pretty quickly. He'd be embarrassed about it any other time, but this just might have been his worst fucking nightmare. There was nothing to occupy him, he couldn't see a single thing even when he held his hands directly in front of his face, it was cold enough in the cave for his hands to have gone numb while he’d slept, and he had no idea if his beacon had even reached outside the cave. Was he just waiting here to rot away?
No, he couldn't think like that. He had no idea how long he'd been asleep for, but he wouldn't be able to manage that again, not like this. He'd wait, just for a while, to see if anyone came to rescue him. If he thought it'd been too long with no sign of help, he'd just have to risk getting crushed by the rocks blocking the entrance because he was not about to die sitting on his ass. Leon would die struggling or not at all. He’d been hoping that he wouldn’t have to die alone now that he had actual support and friends, but the Agent supposed he really should have known better–he’d never been that fortunate.
He tried closing his eyes and ignoring the yawning emptiness closing in around him, but somehow that felt worse. Like if he wasn't staring into the darkness, he couldn't keep track of what was in it. That was stupid, because there shouldn't be anything in it, he'd already killed every other living thing in this place. He thought of trying to feel around for his flashlight, but that would require moving deeper into the cave and he didn't want to chance stumbling around blindly while surrounded by BOW corpses. With Leon's luck, he would end up tripping on the uneven terrain or a corpse, falling, cutting himself on the claws or fangs of the creatures, and somehow infecting himself.
So he resigned himself to staring into the darkness to keep watch. Eventually, things started moving in the pitch black. He squinted and blinked, but the shapes didn't go away or stop moving. Some of them seemed to move closer, but there was no sound to confirm their movements or their existence. He couldn't close his eyes to them, because he swore he could feel them getting closer every time he did. Just blinking was enough for them to creep closer and closer, and he strained his eyes to keep track of them.
The more Leon stared, the more details became clear, the more he tried to breathe as silently as possible. He didn't think any of these creatures had noticed him yet, but he didn't want to give himself away. Some of them had long, insect-like bodies with too many legs and too many arms. Some of them had too many eyes and too many teeth, with raw and exposed muscle bulging from their bodies. Some of them were more humanoid, but their limbs were just too long and their clothes were covered in blood, their eyes dark pools of ill intent and cruelty.
Still, he heard nothing from any of them. They were all moving about, squirming and scratching, and he felt them getting closer, but somehow they all stayed at the same distance even when he swore they’d moved closer.
His throat was dry and he needed to clear his throat, but he couldn't. He was paralyzed, stuck in the curled-up position he’d fallen asleep in even as his limbs went numb and his joints ached. If he opened his water and took a drink, they could hear him swallow and they'd slice him to ribbons. He only had his knife left, having used up his ammo and his explosive. It was supposed to be a simple mission and Leon preferred to pack light since he himself was already a weapon even without blades or bullets. He couldn't see so he had no idea what resources he had at his disposal as potential improvised weaponry in the area around him.
Maybe they couldn't see in this place either, and that was why they didn't know he was there. He stared and stared, afraid to even blink lest they get too close while he did so. His eyes got so dry, but every time he blinked, it felt like they'd appear right in front of him and slash his throat when he opened them again.
He sat there for what felt like forever, stuck on high alert and parched and hungry and tired and so alone. However alone he'd ever felt on any mission before nothing compared to this. This was the loneliness he'd been faced with after knowing both of his parents weren't able to save him from the men who'd ended their lives. The abandonment that sunk bone-deep and made him want to do nothing but curl up and sob until he stopped existing. He'd struggled to live for himself day to day until 1998 and then he'd learned to be useful, to make himself useful for the sake of others. He'd learned how to save others even when he'd never managed to learn how to save himself.
Leon didn't notice his breathing picking up or the way his body started shaking or the way he was holding his body so rigidly in position that his muscles threatened to give out. All he could do was make sure he existed as silently as possible to keep these monsters away from him. He felt like a child, wishing for covers to hide under or a cabinet to crawl into, just like he had the night his life had effectively begun its downhill spiral that had just kept going down until he'd finally gotten free from his bosses and come to work with Chris.
Chris….
Leon would give anything to have the Captain with him right now. It was unfortunate that Chris chose to lead a team when he and Leon worked so well together as partners. Though, he did wonder if Chris just always worked well with others, since he had been inseparable from Jill when they had been partners before she'd been kidnapped by Wesker, and he worked incredibly well with his Lieutenant, Piers, and he even did well with random BSAA operatives for missions in other countries. Maybe Leon wasn't so special after all in that context….
The negative thoughts really weren't helping with his desperate need to keep his eyes on those monsters. They began to creep closer, for real this time. He watched them, felt their presence in front of him, and then they were surrounding him. Something grabbed his ankles and he floundered, but he couldn't manage to kick whatever it was away, his boot missing every time he thought he'd aimed well and only kicking out at open air. Claws dragged down his arms and teeth dug into his shoulder and he jerked away, falling sideways. His sore limbs protested but he dragged himself closer to the collapsed wall desperately. That was his only chance–he could collapse it and sure it would probably cave in his own skull, but it would also kill the monsters trying to rip him to shreds and that way, no one would find his infected corpse shambling around in this cave if they ever came looking.
Just as his hands found the jagged boulders, it collapsed outward and light blinded him. He forgot about the monsters in an instant as he closed his eyes against the searing pain in his retinas. Even if it burned, breath returned to his lungs.
When he was able to open his eyes and actually see, Leon was faced with several men he didn't know. The tried veered sharply into dread and he backed away, tripping over the corpse of the BOW he'd killed earlier in his haste. He kept moving, crawling away from the unknowns as they stepped closer to him. His hand fumbled for his knife, but his coordination was shot. Leon was outnumbered and they all had guns, how could he get out of this–
“Stop.” A familiar voice ordered, and this time, relief hit the Agent like a train both at the sound and when the men obeyed and stopped advancing on him. Chris Redfield stepped into the entrance of the cave and Leon didn't even have time to think, nor judge himself for his actions. He couldn't stop to feel embarrassed or ridiculous when he lurched forward and practically threw himself at the man. The bigger man caught him, just like Leon knew he would, and the Agent knew he was safe. Finally safe.
He had his arms wrapped around Chris' neck and his legs wrapped around the man's waist, clinging to him like a monkey and burying his face in the crook of the Captain's neck. He didn't even realize there were tears pouring down his cheeks as strong arms wrapped around him and held him securely. Leon only then noticed that he was shaking, his breathing labored and choked. He'd be grateful to not have much memory of this moment later beyond the feeling of safety and warmth, what with the silent sobs muffled in Chris’ shirt and how utterly pathetic he must have looked.
Chris didn't even question it, just carried Leon out of the dark and into the daylight, the sounds of the forest enveloping them. After staring into pitch black for so long, the plethora of colors that made up the forest hurt his eyes, but he couldn't make himself close them and damn himself to the afterimages of the creatures in the cave again.
“It's okay Lee, I've got you." Chris murmured in his ear, one hand rubbing circles into the smaller man's back. “I'm sorry it took so long to get you, we were–”
Leon shook his head, cutting the man off. “Doesn't matter, you came for me.” And Christ, his voice sounded like hell–barely a croak and painfully hoarse. He had no idea how long he'd been stuck in that cave by himself, but he was glad it was over, and that it was Chris that came to save him– he didn't know what he would have done to any unfamiliar faces had they tried to get him out of there. They might have even had to sedate him, but they wouldn't have succeeded in doing so before he took down at least a few people. Leon knew the combination of his skills and whatever delirium he'd been stuck in was deadly for anyone he wasn't familiar with.
But right here, right now, Chris held him securely and his warmth chased away the numb chill that had settled into Leon's bones. And now that he was out of the cave, he was starting to realize that he'd essentially been having a panic attack pretty much the entire time….and over being stuck in the dark by himself, no less.
Jesus, that was embarrassing. He was in his thirties and he couldn't handle something as small as being stuck alone in the dark….
“Sorry, I should've been able to handle that on my own.” He pulled away, intending to walk on his own and pretend that this wasn't the most embarrassing thing he'd ever experienced in his life.
Chris held onto him, a frown pulling at his features when he noticed Leon pulling back, and not just physically. He recognized the guarded look in the Agent's eyes, having taken weeks to crack it and get through to the man when he'd first joined the BSAA. He let Leon down to walk on his own two feet, but he kept a hand clasped on his shoulder. The blonde wouldn't admit it, but he needed something to ground him.
“Leon, you don't have to apologize–we've all had low points on the job.” The Captain told him, which was apparently the wrong thing to say because the Agent only pulled away more. Chris forever found himself wishing that he was better with people aside from ordering them around and coming up with battle strategies. Though, people skills may not save him if the person in question was Leon S. Kennedy–he was a complicated person. It was hard to learn to read him when he didn't know what all Leon had been through and the blonde's poker face was God Level. Chris had the advantage of knowing what Jill had gone through when she'd been held captive by Wesker and he'd learned to understand the friend he got back even though she'd never be the same woman he'd known before.
Leon shook his head. “It was a simple mission, I should have been in and out and back at base in no time.” The Agent had a habit of holding himself to higher standards than he held everyone else to. He was far kinder to people he didn't even know than he was to himself. Chris only recognized it because he himself was the same way, but it hurt to see it reflected back at him in someone as caring and empathetic as Leon. Someone who hurt so much but knew how to keep it inside so it didn't hurt anyone else. Someone who was self-destructive for the sake of others rather than because he hated himself.
“You couldn't let them escape.” Chris said understandingly, because he did understand. He might have even done the same thing Leon had in that situation. “I'm just sorry you were stuck in there as a result. You did good.” The blonde had gotten the intel he was there for and killed the BOWs, preventing them from getting out and causing any damage. He'd completed his mission perfectly.
“I freaked out over being stuck in a dark room by myself, you call that good?” The younger man bit out, not looking at him. His bangs fell to hide his face and Chris wondered if that was why Leon favored that haircut so much. Maybe it gave him just a bit of security in an uncertain world.
An embarrassed flush colored the younger man's cheeks and the Captain decided to take a different approach. He led Leon back to the jet, away from the cave that had caused him so much anguish. The man was still shaking–almost imperceptibly, but it was there.
“It's been a long time since my parents died, but I still freak out when I hear a phone ring in the middle of the night.” Chris admitted. He didn't like talking about this, but Leon needed someone who understood, not platitudes that it would be okay. “Sometimes, if I'm coming out of a particularly bad nightmare, I panic and I can't make myself answer it.”
Leon still wouldn't look at him, but his glare aimed at the foliage softened some. “Think that's what triggered it….” He mumbled shamefully, like it was disgraceful to be human and have problems. “I hoped I could sleep the time away and wake up when I was rescued, but….”
“You had a nightmare and then woke up in complete darkness.” Chris grimaced. He didn't have a particular fear of the dark, but even he might've started freaking out in that situation, being the only living thing in a cave full of monsters he'd just killed with no source of light. Leon nodded. “You know, you don't have to put that part in your report.” The bigger man pointed out helpfully.
The blonde finally looked at him, regarding the taller man carefully. “No?”
“No. I know how you feel about anything medical and I don't think it'll help to get you checked out anyway.” The Captain admitted. If Leon went to the infirmary, they'd have to include the visit summary and the reason for it in the report. The Agent had a habit of skipping getting checked out in the infirmary even when he got injured. He'd find somewhere to hide while he tended to himself and then head to his own office to do the report of the mission, doing the debrief afterwards or the next day if he could get away with it. Whenever they had a mission together(sometimes including Chris’ team and sometimes not), Chris would do the first aid for him, knowing it was easier than having a paranoid Agent crawling through the vents after escaping the infirmary(it happened twice before everyone gave up on forcing the blonde). “Just as long as you let me take care of you.”
Leon's cheeks flushed pink unbidden at the wording and he nodded in agreement. He had a few scrapes and bruises, but nothing too bad this time. Plus, he never turned down Chris’ first aid–the bigger man's touch was always warm and careful, much better than the cold, impersonal touches of the staff in the infirmary. Most of those people were former military medical officers from all over the world, either retired or transferred to the BSAA. They were used to being gruff and clinical with soldiers, but that was the last thing the Agent needed after a mission.
Well, that, and Leon just had a soft spot for Chris that he didn't for anyone else. He didn't feel any kind of familial bond with the man, this was something else. There was another man before Chris that he'd had that same soft spot for–also an ex-military man, but Krauser had been nothing like the BSAA Captain. The violence of his work had made Jack Krauser cruel, or maybe he'd already been that way and his role in Special Forces allowed him to be like that freely without consequence.
Chris was the opposite–he’d learned to be careful and compassionate first from raising his baby sister on his own, then he'd learned discipline and caution from his career in Bioterrorism. Violence had made Chris gentle where it had made Krauser callous. Krauser had only been nice to Leon, but Chris was nice to everyone unless they'd already done something to warrant the man's ire.
So Leon agreed with little to no protest anytime Chris offered, even if it was only to have the man's hands on him and pretend just for a moment that he'd chosen the right man to love who loved him back, even if that wasn't the case.
Hell, ever since she'd noticed Leon's feelings towards her brother, Claire wouldn't stop trying to convince him that Chris would be perfectly happy to be with Leon. The Agent knew that they could be happy together, but that wasn't the problem. Chris was married to his work and he was fully devoted to it. Leon didn't have to be anymore now that he had his freedom–he could have retired already and found something else to do with his life. Instead, he'd decided to stay in this career of his own free will this time. He got to do it his way, he finally had the freedom to choose it for himself, and it felt good, because he was also able to choose to have a life outside of work.
Leon had already seen the worst the world had to offer, he knew horrors Chris and his coworkers in the BSAA would never know. Now he could be the one to act as a barrier between the missions that would ruin someone's psyche and the other operatives who might get sent to deal with them. He refused to try to live an ordinary life when his skills would be wasted if he did. There was a disconnect between Leon's view and understanding of the world and Chris’ and that was okay. Leon wouldn't wish anything he'd been through on anyone but those who had caused it all. The Agent didn't want to see Chris or anyone else he cared about broken the way he had been broken so many times. Claire just didn't understand any of that, and he didn't know how to explain it to her either.
So until Leon found someone else to love or until he finally got over his affection for Chris and learned to just be friends without longing for something more, he would enjoy every intimate moment and every touch he could get. Hence, never refusing the man's offers to check him over after missions. Even when he protested on particularly bad days, he always ended up giving in.
Chris, the lovable bastard, smiled as soon as the blonde nodded, unaware of Leon's yearning. They were soon rejoined by the team who had processed and cleaned up the scene in the cave, and Leon was finally blessedly free of that place as they lifted off to return to base.