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What started as something required, soon became something Will found solace in. Because of the seemingly end of the world, religious imagery and the need for church flooded Hawkins. Will never really stepped foot in a church before and he never really planned on it– it's not the kind of place for people like him.
But Mrs. Wheeler asked him and Jonathan if they would like to join the Wheelers in their new found plan to find Jesus while demons plagued the streets of Hawkins. They both said yes because it was the least they could do, with the both of them staying in their basement because the cabin was too small for all five members of the Byers-Hopper family and they needed less people to be there in order to keep Jane safe.
At first, Will hated it. He hated the looks he felt, how evil he believed himself to be. It seemed like everyone could see through him, could see his true nature, knew all of his secrets. Will thought he would continue to hate church because it continued to hate him but after about two months of going he started to find peace there.
Well not peace. But finally it felt like he could be useful. He started helping out, staying after mass to clean up or talk to the older women there, helping them too. He started to feel at peace when he dipped his fingers into the holy water outside the door and signed the cross over him. The best way to put it, he felt like he was finally giving reparations to the town he destroyed.
If you asked anyone in the party, they would say nothing that happened to Will was his fault. If you asked Will, he knew deep down it was a punishment for his thoughts. If it was from God or from Satan, he doesn't know, but by helping at the local catholic church he felt like maybe he was paying back the people of Hawkins. A silent apology.
Its been around 8 months since they have moved back to Hawkins, around 7 months since the Wheelers, Jonathan and him started going to church. Mrs. Wheeler has been the most supportive of Will’s new found interest in helping with the church, Will doesn't think its for any reason other than he goes with her and if you were to ask him, he thinks behind the facade of being strong Mrs. Wheeler is often lonely. Sometimes he wishes his Mom lived with them at the Wheelers just for Mrs. Wheelers sake, to not have to do this alone.
Mike on the other hand has been the most confused and, frankly, appalled by Will's interest. One day, for some reason, Mike snapped. It sadly wasn't the first time Mike has snapped at Will but it still shocked him to the core.
I just don't understand why you of all people are so interested in the church!
Will doesn't remember what Mike said after that, or if he said anything at all. All he remembers is feeling like he was right back to the summer before.
It's not my fault you don't like girls!
It's like because Mike knows Will the most, he knows just how it hurt him. At this point Will is sure Mike knows his secret, he just hopes he doesn't know the whole secret. To protect himself, or maybe to protect Mike from his evilness, it's been two months since Will and Mike have talked. Will is civil when he has to be around him, but since that fight he hasn't been alone with Mike and he hasn't said more than what is needed.
Part of him yearns to reach out, to bridge the gap between his best friend and him. Every time he passes Mike in their shared home, he thinks about young Will who would have dreamed of this. Who would've thought their nights would consist of reading comic books, sharing secrets and complex blanket forts. Not quick glances, tension, and silence. That part of him also wishes that their nights would have soft touches, exploration, and finally feeling loved.
He shuts that part of him down every time it starts to flare up. One because he can't keep letting himself be hurt. It hurts enough being in love with your best friend who happens to be a boy and is dating your sister– or was? Will can't really tell, Jane was actually excited to let Will know that they broke up when he visited her all those months ago, but Mike never said anything about it. And now they aren't talking so. He also shuts this part of him up by every time his brain betrays him and wonders about how Mike tastes, he drags Nancy’s old bike out of the garage and heads to the church to stare at the crucifixion of Jesus until he feels it's safe again to go home.
He recently has been going to church a lot recently. Since Halloween he has felt the need to be there as November 6th comes into sight. His days go as follow: wake up and leave for school before Mike is even down stairs, class and try to act normal around the party, after school go to the hospital with Lucas, leave the hospital to go to the church, help there and do his homework, only go home when he is so hungry he can't avoid it, avoid Mike’s gaze or lack there of, go to bed before having to truly talk to anyone.
Today was no different. Well only for the fact it was November 6th and Jonathan stopped him in the morning to check in on him. Of course he told his brother he was fine and Will is sure Jonathan only let himself agree with that because Will had to go to school. Even at the hospital, Lucas made a point to check in on him.
“Hey Will.” Lucas said, looking away from Max's resting body to Will who sat on the other side of Max currently doing his calc homework. “You know I'm here for you right?”
Will looked up and honestly just looked at Lucas for a second. Part of Will wanted to confess everything to Lucas, he was always such a good friend and Will is around 80% certain Lucas would accept him and continue with life. But then he looked at Max, and he knew everyday that passed was another brick thrown at Lucas. He knew the pain Lucas was going through, he would never add more burden onto his friend, so he just says: “Yea. Yea I know. I'm good though.”
Lucas looked at him like he didn't believe him. It seems like to everyone, Will is an open book. Will swallows the sudden fear that is rising in his throat, hoping Lucas lets it be. By a strike of luck, Lucas does and for the rest of his time at the hospital, Will goes through his calc and Spanish homework. Thankfully, church goes like normal, no one really questions Will’s faint look because no one knows the significance of the date to him. To them he may just be catching the cold that is going around.
Dinner runs like it normally does and soon Will finds himself in the basement, crouched on his mattress with only one lamp on as he draws before bed. Since they started staying at the Wheelers Jonathan had started sneaking up to Nancy’s room, leaving Will alone downstairs. Will of course told him it was okay and honestly it normally is. He finally gets privacy in this very loud and chaotic house.
As he draws a very familiar face, the same face that haunts his dreams, the door of the basement opens. Will just assumes Jonathan is coming down to investigate him again, however the face that Will is drawing soon is standing at the bottom of the stairs.
Will quickly closes his journal as Mike just stares at him. Will stares back because he doesn't know what Mike wants or why he's here. They haven't really spoken since they fought almost two months ago. Mike just stands there, breathing heavily like he ran down here but Will knows he would never do that, so he doesn't really know what has got Mike short of breath. He starts to open his mouth when Mike finally speaks.
“I just. I just wanted to see if you're okay?” Of course. Mike is only talking to him because today is the day their lives changed forever. For Will it is the day his life ended, for Mike though. For Mike, Will remembers bitterly, it’s the day his life started. This memory and this day being the only reason his so called best friend is even talking to him has him responding with more anger than he anticipated.
“Im fine.” His tone seems to not only shock Will himself but Mike too. For a second, what can only be described as shock, hurt and then anger all flash across Mike’s face. It seems like he is fighting an internal battle of what to say next.
Seems like he settled when he says, “You do that a lot now.” When Will looks at him with confusion as he continues. “Lie. I never thought you would but you proved me wrong.”
Before Will can even respond or defend himself, say Thats generous coming from you, or maybe plead for forgiveness, Mike turns around and heads up the stairs. Will stares at the place Mike was just standing and he really really tries not to cry. Not because he's sad, well honestly he is, but more because he is so angry. He is angry at Mike and himself and the world and the possible God that has been punishing him for years. No one ever thinks that Will is angry, but Will carries around the anger of a hundred men, he just knows better than to let it show.
He feels one tear roll down his cheek when he decides it's probably best to just go to sleep. The big plus about his busy schedule is he is normally so tired that when he sleeps he is so psychically and mentally tired, he hasn't been plagued with nightmares as much. He prays tonight won't be much different as he lays down on his bed, wipes his eyes and lets his eyes fall to a close.
He wakes up and feels it. The unforgettable pulse, the strangulation of the vine that currently is filling his throat. No no he cant be back here. In front of him is not the monster that once touched his face, but his mother. She is attached to the wall as well with the same vine in her throat. To her right is Jonathan, then Jane, then Mike. Everyone is here, they all are undergoing what he went through all those years ago.
No, I have to help. He tries to move his arms but he cant not just because of the other vines holding him but also the fear. Henry is here. He is watching Will, and it's not his monster form. No, this is the human that Jane knew. He is watching Will with the vine through his body like just the sight alone brings him pleasure. He is smiling as he walks up to Will. Henry brings his hand up to Will’s face, and wipes the tears that are falling off of it.
“In the end, William. You will always belong to me.” Henry turns his head and shushes Will as he lets out a cry. “No, you have to be quiet, you can’t let them see how you’re letting yourself go through this.”
Suddenly the vines that were once holding Will captive are gone and the only thing holding him here is the vine. Will shivers as Henry brings his hand around Will’s throat. Suddenly the room and the person changes, and it's not Henry looming over Will holding him by the throat. It’s Lonnie.
But this isn't a new vision like the one before, this is a memory. Will can feel it in his bones as Lonnie holds Will higher against the wall with his grip around his neck strengthening.
“You're sick. You're a sick little fag. I can't believe I've wasted my time on you.” Lonnie spits in his face. He was 8 when this happened. Will is currently 16 but he feels like he hasn't aged at all as his subconscious plays this memory. Suddenly the hand around him vanishes and he can breathe again.
Will jumps up with a scream, the blankets pooling around his waist. Before he can breath he stands up from his bed and grabs his shoes and jacket. He is out the door in probably record speed, hopping on his bike and going the only place he knows that could even possibly bring any reprieve to him.
He arrives at the church in five minutes even though it's about a 12 minute ride from the Wheelers. He stares at the building for a few seconds before he starts towards the door. If he had it his way, he would dump the holy water all over him, hoping it would cleanse him from his dream; however, he knows better and lets his fingers find the water before signing the cross and stepping inside.
He walks to the altar before kneeling and again signing the cross muttering “the father, the son, and the holy spirit."
He steps into the first pew, and lowers the kneeling bar before finding himself in the position. He lets his arms bend on the half wall ahead of him and holds his head in his hands. He isn't really praying necessarily. Will doesn't think he is worthy enough for God to listen to him. So he is just breathing, trying to calm down. He does that for about three minutes before he feels someone beside him.
Anyone else would probably be horrified, but Will has learned what it feels like to be around the man who just sat down next to him. He knows his breathing just as well as his scent. Will slowly lifts his head and turns to see Mike Wheeler sitting beside him looking at the very traditional altar ahead of them.
Dark wooden panels covered in traditional paintings of the story of Jesus Christ. Lined with gold, tops of wooden pillars that have so much detail Will normally finds himself studying while he sits through mass. In the center is a cross with the sculpture of Jesus, at his crucifixion with Mary at his feet sobbing like any mother would at the site of their dead son. Like the way Joyce sobbed when they first thought Will was dead.
Will is still looking at Mike when Mike starts to talk. “I heard you scream. At first I thought it was just a dream, but then I heard you leave and saw you on your bike.”
Will just swallows as he listens to Mike speak. “I figured I knew where you were going, but I couldn't seem to be okay with the idea of you being here alone.” Mike finally looks at Will and to anyone other than Will, they would point out how tired and sad he looked. To Will he was so, so beautiful. The bags under his eyes did look like it was due to a lack of sleep but at this moment Will wanted to kiss them away and bring the color back into his Mike’s eyes. His cheekbones were sharp enough to cut through anything, a ghastly contrast to the porcelain look of his fair skin.
Mike's raven hair was still untamed from sleep, still the length from this spring maybe longer. But it seems he recently tried to trim his bangs because they were shorter than Will remembered and widely uneven. To anyone, Mike looks just like Mike. To Will, he is a painting that should be hung up in this very church.
It's been too long since Mike has stopped talking and Will has started staring, so he turns and looks at the art ahead of him, hoping it would rid the thoughts in his head. He tries to swallow the pit in his throat and says “Sorry I woke you.”
“Ah, it wasn't much better being asleep.” Mike says now taking his turn to stare at Will. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I think if I were to speak about it, it would scare a priest into giving an exorcism.” Will tried to joke, still looking at Jesus ahead of him who is looking down at Will.
“Well it's a good thing I'm not a priest.” Will looks back at Mike who luckily has a little smile on his face, like this isn't the first time they are kindly speaking to each other.
“It's okay, I'm okay. I don't want to bore you with my confession.” Will rolls his eyes hoping that by continuing the joking nature all the tension will disperse. He looks at Mike as Mike seems to get an idea in his head.
“Wait, maybe I can be a priest for the night!” Mike says jumping up and pulling Will to the confessional booth on the other side of the church.
“Mike! What the hell are you doing?” Will yell-whispers as Mike continues to drag him, trying to ignore how Mike's touch sets his skin aflame. He skids to a stop as Mike walks in the priest side of the booth. Will continues to stand there waiting for any explanation, when Mike pops his head out of the curtain.
“Will!? Get in.”
“Why would I do that?” Will says.
“Because then you can confess like it's to a priest but because I'm not a priest I wont try and exorcism you or whatever.” Mike says waving a hand in the curtain.
Will would protest, hell he wants to protest because he can't possibly be entertaining this idea. But part of him, the part he normally suppresses, is yearning for someone to know, to just not be alone. And it's been so long since he and Mike have talked in any way and it's late and he's so very tired.
All of these reasons are repeating in his head and he justifies him stepping into the other side of the booth, pretending not to see how Mike triumphantly smiles and moves back into the booth.
“Ok before we start, what do I say?” Mike questions through the small window separating them. Will huffs but before he can realize how stupid this is he answers him.
“I start by saying Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. And then I just start talking. I guess.”
“Okay, go ahead.”
Will takes a deep breath, very thankful that he can't see Mike and Mike can't see Will. If he is going to get through this, he can't see anyone.
“Will?”
“Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I-” Will breathes again, he needs to get through this. “I had another dream tonight. I was back there, where he had me before but I wasn't alone.” Will looks down at his fingers and starts picking at his skin, if he is going to talk about this dream he has to pretend it's not Mike he is talking to. No it's not Mike he is professing this to, it's God, hoping He doesn't turn his back from Will again. “Mom, Jon, Jane…. Mike. They were all there, all going through what I went through. I could feel the vine again. It was so.. Real. I could feel it everywhere. And. And he was there too but it was the him Jane had banished. He was– god. He was so happy with what I was going through. Like it fuck–” Will felt the tears falling down is face but the flood gate his open. He can't stop now.
“Like he fucking got pleasure from see me, only me he was only looking at me. He. shit. He let the vines go away except for the one. He said I liked it that I was letting it happen to me.” he continues through his hiccups and silent sobs. “Then he turned into Lonnie, he called me a.. He called me something that I can't even say isn't true. Because it is. I- I proved him right.”
He takes in another shaky breath. “He always said I was weak, a fairy, wrong. And I am. I couldn't protect myself, I couldn't stop what happened to me, I am useless when it comes to trying to end this. Everyone looks at me like I'm fragile like I need to be protected but everyone needs protecting from me. I started all of this, it's all my fault.” He now is just straight crying, he would stop he wants to stop but he can't seem to.
“And he was right about me being a fairy. I tried so fucking hard to stop. I tried so hard to grow up like Mike said. I know it's not your fault, Mike. It's not. It's mine and it's all my fault and I can't stop and I've tried so hard. I'm so. I'm so sorry.” Will starts hyperventilating so hard, he doesn't realize his curtain is being pulled up and he is being brought to the floor with Mike holding him.
“Shhh, it's okay. It's okay” Mike says, rocking the broken boy in his arms as he runs his hand up and down his back.
In Mike's chest, Will whimpers and says “No. No it's not. I'm sick. I need to be fixed–”
“Hey!” Mike says as he grabs Will's face and forces him to look at him. “You don't need any fixing. No one knows shit about you or what you went through. I know you and you're the most kind, strong, loyal person I know. Will you are not the reason for any of this shit and this isn't some punishment for you, no this is some sick fucks evil plan”
Will looks at Mike as he is talking and Mike starts to cry too. “Fuck, Will I am so sorry. I should've been there for you, I shouldn't have let you leave that night. It was too late. Shit man. I should’ve. I should've been there for you last summer and I'm so sorry for saying that. I- I.”
Mike suddenly stops talking and just looks at Will. Will is staring back and he wants to talk. He wants to tell the boy in front of him it's all okay, but before he can open his mouth for reassurance, Mike pulls his face to his and captures Will’s lips with his own.
For a second Will sat, confused and unmoving but when he felt Mike start to pull back he pushed forward. It is like something changed or unlocked in Mike and he kisses Will like a man who has been starved and just has been offered a feast.
It's a battle of teeth knocking, of tongues pushing into each other's mouths. It probably isn't the best kiss, but it's Will's first and it's with Mike so Will couldn't ask for more. Mike deepens the ugly kiss by moving more onto Will, with one hand on his head and the other behind Will's back to keep himself up, he continues to feast at Will's mouth. Will mirrors Mike in both how his mouth is moving and his hand placements. Once his hand reaches Mike's long hair, his hand on its own tightens around the locks, and before he can apologize, Mike sighs and groans into Will's mouth.
Like something struck Will, he boldly takes Mikes, fully open mouth to lead the kiss now, pushing more onto Mike, which Mike gives way to very easily as Will pushes him further down until they are laying down on the floor. Mike's hand finds its place on Will's waist and pulls his hips down to meet Mikes as he rolls up. Will gasps at the sudden friction and unmistakable feeling that he feels when Mike does this.
Will almost gets lost in the idea of what Mike wants until he remembers where he is, and who is under him. He breaks the kiss and tries to roll off Mike, but his hand holds him steadily and Mike tries to chase Will's lips. But Will moves further back, only accidentally pushing his hips further into Mike.
“Shit. Shit, wait. What?” Will manages to stay on track. “What is happening?”
“Well I could tell you it's not happening.” Mike tries to joke but Will isn't amused, his face is ridden with shock and fear and confusion. “Hey- hey, what's the matter?” Mike says and he lets Will move off of him and sits up, cupping Will's face with one of his hands.
“Are you messing with me?” Will asks, and he feels the tears start to form again as he looks at the boy he's been in love with his whole life.
“What! No, no, I would never do that.” Mike says looking at Will like he is hurt at the accusation.
“Then why… Why kiss me?” Will whispers like if he says it Mike will yell at him.
“Will. Shit. I-” Mike says, he keeps opening and closing his mouth looking at Will like he is trying to find the words but keeps coming up blank. Or maybe like he has the words but is scared to say them either way Will is scared to know what they are.
“Shit will I love you.” Mike blurts out, his eyes widening like he is surprised he even said it. Will can't say he looks much different, his mouth falls open and he starts to tear up again. “I love you. I think I always have. I just was so fucking scared but I'm not. I'm not scared anymore. I'm more scared of losing you– I can't lose you Will. Please say something.” Mike pleads as he holds Will’s face with both hands now.
“You? You love me?” Will whispers.
“Fuck man more than you can imagine” Mike laughs.
“I- I love you too Mike. Since forever too.” Will says crying again but now he's not hurting as he does. Mike pulls him in for another kiss, this one is soft and loving and by far the best thing to happen to Will.
It sadly is over too soon for Mike's liking as he again chases after Will as he breaks the kiss.
“Mike. Can we, can we go home?” Will says, leaning his forehead in mikes. Suddenly aware they are still in a church in the middle of the night and he is starting to get tired. Just on queue, Will yawns.
“Oh, am I boring you?” Mike laughs
Will violently shakes his head “No. No I'm just wiped out, it was a lot tonight.”
“Yeah of course, but you're not going into the basement.” Mike stands up pulling Will up with him.
“What–” Will starts to argue when Mike stops and pulls Will into his chest and grabs his waist to steady him, pecking his mouth a few times before he leans back and says:
“You're staying in my room from now on.” He adds a little smile and starts walking, leaving no room for Will to say anything.
As Will follows Mike to their bikes outside, the part that always shut down the part of him that wanted Mike tries to come up to rebuttal against Mike's proclamation but for once in his life he lets the other part of him win because there is nothing more he wants.
After the long 12 minute bike ride back to the house, they enter through the basement hand in hand. They walk up the basement stairs and turn to follow up the second flight. Mike squeezes Will’s hand as they continue their climb.
Once they reach Mike's room, Will starts to feel subconscious over the situation but that is soon gone as Mike pulls Will onto his bed after he flops onto it. Will lightly lands on top of Mike and lets out a small puff of air. Just as fast Mike's hands find Will waist again and he is getting pulled into another long sensual kiss. Again Will is the one to break the kiss and moves further up to the pillows to maybe hopefully rest tonight.
Mike follows him and pulls Will to lay on him again, but quietly agreeing as Will rests his head on Mike's chest instead of letting him kiss Will again. Mike slowly runs his hand through Will's hair and the other wraps around Will's waist pulling him totally flush with Mike.
“I love you.” Mike says as he places a kiss on Will's head. “Good night”
“I love you Mike.” Will says as he lays left hand on Mike's chest. He closes his eyes and thanks whatever god listened to him and for the first time maybe his whole life lets himself sink into Mike with no worries of being a burden.