Chapter Text
“Here’s the report,” Varka says, lifting up a file from the stack on his desk. “Name’s Karlina, last seen ascending Dragonspine about two days ago. Apparently she went to study some of the ruins and hasn’t returned home.”
Varka tosses the file towards Lohen, letting it slide across the desk until it comes to rest right at the edge.
Lohen purses his lips and opens it, scanning the contents inside. Alongside a brief summary of events is a photo pinned to the first page: a young woman, maybe in her mid-twenties, fresh faced and wearing a uniform issued by the Adventurer’s Guild.
Typical inexperienced idiot, Lohen thinks with quiet disdain, letting the cover of the report fall shut.
“So, this girl bit off more than she could chew, and now we have to go collect her?” Lohen asks, crossing his arms against his chest with a smug smile. “Feels like overkill to send us two for something like that.”
“It is,” Varka agrees with a sigh. “Usually I’d have Eula send someone from the reconnaissance team. But we’re stretched thin, so I think you and I would at least be able to get this done fast.”
Normally Lohen would have jumped at the chance to get out of Mondstadt for the day, even if it was just to stab a few things with his dagger and rescue some reckless woman. It definitely beat lazing around headquarters and running the same boring drills with his useless subordinates all day.
Only… Varka had called him in an inconvenient time, to say the least.
“Why isn’t the Guild assigning it as a commission if she’s one of theirs?” Lohen asks, raising one eyebrow.
“Well,” Varka rubs a hand over his chin, “the campsite stationed near the mountain is forecasting a blizzard to roll in tomorrow morning—”
“So they want us to handle it instead?”
Varka laughs at his observation. “Yup! But hey, imagine how good drinks at the bar will feel after freezing our asses off all day.”
Lohen would have liked to agree with him. Grabbing drinks together after a mission like this would normally be a tempting promise at literally any other time of year. But, right now, his mind is consumed with the thoughts of what was due in the next few days.
His heat. As annoying as it was, it’s something he has zero control over and, therefore, he’s required to request a leave of absence from work.
Jean always granted the requests under an oath of secrecy to avoid any of the other knights prying too much. While Lohen was thankful for her consideration, it did often lead to awkward situations just like this. Being the only omega holding a high-ranking position in the Knights meant the other members forgot to consider why his quarterly time-off requests might be… important.
As an alpha, Varka was, unfortunately, one of those members.
“You know I requested time off, right? Starting today, to be specific.”
Varka looks a little guilty then, letting out a laugh that sounds more nervous than it does amused. He slouches in his chair and rubs at the back of his neck sheepishly while Lohen stares, teasingly awaiting his response.
“Yeah, I saw that,” Varka clasps his hands together in a pleading gesture. “I was hoping you’d help out anyway so I don’t have to take a trainee. It shouldn’t take more than a few hours if we hurry. Then I promise I’ll leave you alone for your vacation.”
Vacation, Lohen thinks to himself in mild amusement. That’s a fun way of putting it.
Lohen knows he could probably get away with telling Varka no and heading home for the day. The other might be an alpha, but it wasn’t like he was stupid enough to try something like commanding him into submission. Lohen would have his head for less.
It’s inconvenient, but Lohen supposes he probably owes Varka more than a few favors. Not to mention, he certainly doesn’t want to let some trainee get the satisfaction of taking his spot and helping out the Grand Master in his stead. He’s hardly feeling anything yet anyway. Maybe a few hot flashes here and there, but nothing worth worrying about. Typical preheat symptoms.
With his mind made up, Lohen lets out a hum, smiling across the desk at Varka.
“Okay,” he concedes.
The look Varka gives him in response reminds him of a dog being praised—bright-eyed and so pleased that a flutter stirs in his lower stomach before Lohen can stop it. He pushes the feeling back down just as quickly.
“Let’s do this, then. When do we leave?”
“I knew I could count on you!” Varka laughs, a grin splitting across his face. “Give me about an hour and I’ll meet you at the base of the mountain. That good for you?”
“Good enough,” Lohen returns his smile as he rises from his own seat. “One hour then.”
This would be fine.
He’d have an hour to prepare for a three-hour hike up a mountain he’d traversed hundreds of times before. Lohen had handled much worse, at much higher stakes no less, so a mission like this hardly feels like anything worth worrying over. The missing woman was probably just stuck in a cave somewhere halfway up the slope anyway, waiting for help to arrive.
Lohen plans the day in his head. They’ll find her fast. Carry her down to the adventurer camp nearby—barring any injuries, of course. Return to Mondstadt before evening. Maybe even grab that drink Varka mentioned. Then, he’ll go home to ride out the beginnings of his heat.
It will be easy, Lohen thinks to himself as he steps out of Varka’s office and heads down the hall. Simple.
The room feels just a little bit warmer as he leaves.
Everything pretty much goes according to plan when they arrive.
First, they check out the adventurer camp at the base of the mountain to talk to anyone who might have seen the girl. The responses they receive are typical. A lot of people who saw their missing girl enter the mountain, but none who could recall seeing her come back down.
We wouldn’t be here if you had, Lohen almost scoffs at one of them, but he holds himself back when Varka shoots him a sideways glance. This isn’t a place to pick fights, despite how much Lohen might enjoy one.
They do receive one tip that feels like useful information: an adventurer who claims he’s seen a girl that looked a lot like their missing woman around the Wyrmrest Valley a day prior. Not much to go on, but enough for them to get started.
With that single tip guiding them, the two began their ascent up the mountain.
“You should ban all civilians from coming here,” Lohen says once they’re finally on the path.
The flurries have already started, dainty flakes fluttering down around them and slowly accumulating on the ground. Lohen’s boots crush through the layers of fresh snowfall as he walks ahead of Varka, his polearm held out in front of him, ready for use if necessary. Varka trails a few feet behind him, keeping watch for anything that might possibly try to sneak up on them from behind.
“You think?” Varka replies thoughtfully, as if he’s actually considering it. “I don’t know. I bet most people wouldn’t listen anyway.”
“I could handle doling out the punishments for trespassers,” Lohen suggests, smirking. “I mean, it’s kind of ridiculous the Grand Master has to take on a burden like this, isn’t it?”
“Hey, beats doing paperwork at my desk.”
Lohen lets out a hum, thinking how typical it is that Varka would prefer a mission like this over doing his actual duties. He wonders if they were actually that short-staffed, or if this was just an excuse for him to get out of the office for the day. It’s not like Lohen disagreed with his sentiments.
They continue on, carefully treading over frozen terrain and snow. There’s a few monster camps to deal with, but nothing too concerning. Lohen handles most of them himself, enjoying the rush and release of the encounters while Varka hangs back to watch and give pointers.
The search continues. A comfortable silence stretches between them as they return to the path, filled only with the whistle of cold wind and their occasional observations when they catch something noteworthy. Lohen doesn’t necessarily expect to find this girl right away, but his annoyance begins to rise a little more each time their search turns up nothing.
After ducking out of yet another empty cave, Varka sighs and breaks the silence. “So, you got anything planned for this week?”
“Planned?” Lohen repeats the word back, confused, before he remembers. Right, his time off.
“Yeah. You know, your big vacation,” Varka teases, clapping Lohen on the back before he walks ahead of him. “You going anywhere fun? Seeing anyone?”
Lohen’s skin burns beneath his clothes where Varka’s hand touched him. He chalks it up to the chill gripping the rest of his body, ignoring the way that the warmth seems to linger longer than necessary.
“No,” he replies coolly. He pivots to pin the attention on Varka. “Is that your sneaky way of asking me if I’ve let someone mate me yet?”
The reaction he gets is exactly what he had hoped for. Varka chokes on his next words, sputtering aimlessly through something that sounds like a denial. If he hadn’t been walking a few steps behind, Lohen wonders if he would have been lucky enough to see him blush.
Satisfied that he’d successfully embarrassed the other, Lohen lets out a chuckle of his own and teasingly raises his polearm. He uses it to gently poke Varka in the small of his back, digging in the tip just enough to make Varka flinch.
The other shoots him a look over his shoulder. Lohen returns it with an innocent smile.
“Don’t poke me with that thing. I know where it’s been,” Varka huffs, turning back around while Lohen tries to hold in his giggles. “But, yeah, sure. Do you have a mate yet?”
Lohen lets the question hang in the air for a moment, if not just to watch Varka squirm. He thinks the answer is pretty obvious anyway—Varka should be able to smell an alpha on him if he had taken a mate. But rumors ran deep, and Lohen can only imagine the kind of things the other knights share about him over drinks at the bar.
Lohen tugs at his choker, running his fingers along his scent gland. Smooth, unmarked. He drops his weapon to hang at his side and lets a thoughtful hum pass his lips.
“That’s kind of a personal question, but… nope,” he finally says, smiling wider when Varka twitches at the sound of his voice. “What has you so curious, Grand Master?”
“I just want to know if I’m at risk of losing one of my best knights,” Varka says too quickly, like the words had been waiting on his tongue. “Most knights like you don’t climb the ranks. They usually end up resigning after they find a mate, do the whole raising-a-family thing.”
Lohen’s smile falls instantly.
He slows to a stop for just a moment to peer over a cliff, a frown fixing itself on his face. In part because there’s still no sign of their missing woman, and also because Varka’s reasoning for prying into his personal life is extremely irritating.
It’s not like the observation is wrong, but… Lohen wasn’t really what many would consider a typical omega, something he was ultimately a little proud of. And yet Varka had just lumped him in with every other knight who’d climbed the ranks a little, found a mate, and then quietly resigned.
Did Varka really think so less of him?
Varka stops to help him look, though his attention drifts far more often to Lohen’s face than the cliffside. The other pays his glances no mind, poking around the snowy cliffside with his polearm while silently stewing away in his head. When it becomes obvious Lohen isn’t going to dignify the comment he’d made with a response, Varka exhales quietly.
“I’m sorry,” Varka mumbles sheepishly. “That was rude of me. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Lohen shrugs and brushes past him gently to return to the path. “You didn’t,” he lies.
It doesn’t sound convincing in the slightest. Varka sighs behind him and begins dragging his feet through the snow to catch up. “I can tell when you’re lying, you know.” he says. “You’re already plotting how to get me back.”
Lohen chances a glance over his shoulder. The guilt in Varka’s eyes sparks something warm in his chest, pulling a slow, deliberate smirk onto his face. He lets it linger for a beat before he turns back around.
Maybe Varka had earned his answer after all.
“If it puts you at ease,” he suddenly says, “you have nothing to worry about. I don’t plan on finding a mate.”
Varka falls strangely silent after he speaks. Lohen hears his footsteps start to slow, falling behind just a tad as they continue on. It’s not the reaction he had been expecting, especially since Varka seemed so concerned about him resigning just moments before.
Maybe he’ll drop it, Lohen thinks.
“Wait, really?” Varka repeats back, sounding puzzled. “You don’t want a mate? Ever?"
Of course not.
“I never said I don’t want a mate,” Lohen clarifies, masking his own irritation with a tight-lipped smile. “More like the opposite. I’m just not really anyone’s first choice for one.”
Lohen truly didn’t hate the idea of a mate or children—he just hated what it usually cost. Long ago he’d come to the realization that the life he lived conflicted too much with the life most alphas would want him to have. Like staying at home all day, raising kids, busying himself with mind-numbing housework. If it was between that kind of life or being unmated forever… Well, the choice was clear.
“Come on, what makes you say that?” Varka cuts in after a beat. “I wouldn’t be worried about losing you if that were true. There’s someone out there for everyone.”
“Maybe not everyone,” Lohen covers his bitterness with a short laugh.
“Hey,” Varka starts to sound just the smallest bit frustrated. “I’m serious! Give me one reason why you think that.”
A strange urge to snap at him overcomes Lohen, one that he manages to swallow down. He levels the request for a minute, trying to decide whether Varka deserves a real answer or not. In his eyes it isn’t exactly complicated to see where he’s coming from. But maybe Varka needs it spelled out.
“Fine,” Lohen says at last. “Let’s see. I hate being commanded, I'm not a fan of submitting, and—in your own words—I ‘have trouble following orders’.” He stops himself before he can add more. “What alpha would want that?”
It all comes out so much more bitter than he intends.
Varka slows to a stop behind him. “That’s it?” he asks, chuckling under his breath. “Any alpha turned off by that wouldn’t be worth your time anyway. Plenty might actually consider those strengths.”
Lohen can hear the smile in his voice without even turning around. He clenches his own jaw tightly, heat crawling up the back of his neck as he tries to beat down his frustration. It isn’t like Varka to keep pushing him like this, nor is it like himself to get so worked up over it.
Stopping himself now, Lohen turns around to stare back down the path at Varka before he rests a hand lightly on his hip.
“You’re taking this personally.”
Varka offers him a grin. “Maybe. Just trying to show you there’s more than one perspective.”
Another perspective, Lohen thinks to himself. Perhaps there is, but he’s feeling too stubborn today to care. Not to mention scrutinized, and a bit sweaty. His love life isn’t exactly the topic he wants to be covering right before he goes into heat—not with Varka, at least.
“Enough about me,” Lohen cuts in.
Varka looks strangely disappointed for just a second before he smooths his expression into something neutral. Lohen doesn’t have the energy to digest the possible meaning behind it. Instead, he offers him a smile of his own, playful and unassuming, while he places his arms behind his back.
Time to change the subject.
“Let’s hear it from you, dear Grand Master,” Lohen presses, all too happy to turn the tables. “Have you found a mate yet? You’re getting to be a little past your prime, aren’t you?”
The hit lands. Varka raises one eyebrow high, letting out a low whistle… but he doesn’t get angry. Lohen tries not to feel disappointed over the lack of reaction.
“You’re interrogating me now?”
Lohen shrugs casually. “Call it curiosity.”
“Well…” Varka averts his gaze, carefully considering his next words. “Alright, why not. Truth is, I just hadn’t found anyone worth the trouble.”
“Oh?”
Varka uses a finger to scratch at his cheek. “Yup. That’s the only reason!” A laugh slips out. “Bet it’s a lot less interesting than you were thinking, huh?”
It definitely is, though Lohen neither confirms or denies his assumption. He’d been expecting some heroic spiel about being too dedicated to Mondstadt to find a mate, or too busy with his duties. What Varka gives him instead isn’t much, yet it still feels… strangely vulnerable.
But Lohen isn’t one for vulnerability—physical or emotional—so he takes the opening to steer the conversation back where he wants it.
“And here I was wondering if it’s because there’s something wrong with you,” he says lightly.
Varka stops laughing immediately to let out a long, exaggerated sigh of annoyance instead. Lohen’s pretty sure he can hear him muttering under breath too, unintelligible aside from what he thinks is the word ‘brat’.
Satisfied, Lohen turns back to the path, ready to leave the conversation at that… when something in Varka’s earlier response snags in his mind.
Hadn’t.
The word pulls at his chest uncomfortably.
Lohen turns back around just as fast, his smile a bit more forced now. “Wait a minute—you said you hadn’t,” he says sharply. “So who is it?”
Varka blinks at him. “... I didn’t say there was someone.”
“You implied it.”
Realization dawns on Varka’s face before he goes silent. Much too silent. Lohen tries to ignore the warmth creeping up his back as he waits. Varka finding a mate wouldn’t really be shocking news—he likely had more than enough people clamoring to fill the role.
But Lohen doesn’t want to think about that.
It takes an eternity before Varka clears his throat. He almost looks embarrassed. “You… could say someone’s caught my eye. Just haven’t made my move yet.”
Jealously twists in his gut like a dagger. Lohen covers it with a huff of laughter, only barely managing to stop himself from asking who, when, and where. So there is someone. Fantastic.
“Oh,” Lohen says, hoping he doesn’t look as bothered as he feels. “I see. Well, congratulations.”
Varka only nods back at him.
Lohen digs the toe of his boot into the frozen ground, watching the ice chip away beneath it as he weighs his options. He should leave it alone. Move on.
Instead, he chooses spite.
“For your sake,” Lohen hums, “I hope they’re worth the trouble.”
He awaits the usual reaction—an awkward laugh, a flustered look, a quick attempt to redirect. But it never comes.
Instead, Varka holds his gaze for a beat too long. The silence begins to stretch, neither of them willing to break it first. Lohen hates the way it makes his skin prickle, but he refuses to look away.
Finally, the corners of Varka’s mouth curve upwards.
“I think they might be,” he replies easily.
Warmth floods Lohen’s body so suddenly it steals his breath away. For a moment he thinks it’s just the aftershock of Varka’s words—until the sensation tightens sharply in his abdomen, pulsing through his groin. He bites down on a sound that tries to escape his mouth, shoulders tensing as he rides out the wave. Shit.
Lohen turns away before Varka can notice, adjusting the grip on his polearm like nothing had happened.
“Did you forget we have a civilian to rescue, Grand Master?” he chides despite the shaky undertone of his voice. “We’re getting too distracted with our personal lives.”
If Varka notices the change, he doesn’t say anything. Lohen is thankful either way.
The breathy laugh Varka lets out does nothing to make Lohen’s body stop reacting. As they continue, he’s dully aware that Varka tries to change the topic, but his mind now refuses to focus on a single thing being said. Trying to force himself to pay attention only causes him to develop a headache, worsening the burn that pools in his belly.
Just preheat, he tells himself. I still have time.
They make it to the summit of the mountain around noon, only to immediately turn back around after canvassing the area and determining that no one is there. Varka suggests retracing their steps, covering the areas they’ve already searched.
Lohen agrees. Though, secretly, frustration creeps in.
Time seems to get away from them faster than either expects. Minutes begin to blur together, bleeding into what feels like hours of back and forth between the same handful of locations. What had started as gentle flurries grew into a squall. Visibility begins to wane to only a few paces ahead as they descend back toward the main path.
There is no sign of their missing woman. Literally none.
The unsuccessful search is only part of the problem, though.
With every passing minute, Lohen feels his body turning against him.
Despite the chill, his body now feels consumed by fire. Each breath he takes is accompanied by a burn between his legs and a searing pulse through his brain. It had been easy enough to ignore earlier, but in such a short time it turns to near constant agony. So much that Lohen actually begins to stumble with every other step he takes.
He isn’t about to pretend he doesn’t know exactly why, either.
Of course, Varka remains none the wiser, walking ahead of him. Still too focused on the mission. Lohen can’t decide whether that’s a blessing or a curse.
While they have no luck with their missing person, what they do find in abundance is an overwhelming amount of monster camps. Normally, Lohen would have been thrilled to get in a few kills. But today, lethargy slows down his every move and his response time suffers as a result. Each encounter ends with him having expended every last bit of what energy he still has.
“She’s not here,” Lohen finally says, looking in Varka’s direction. “We’ve looked everywhere. Twice.”
He rubs at the back of his sweaty neck with a gloved hand, using his other to yank his polearm from the belly of the hilichurl he’s just driven into. Those satisfying rushes he usually feels following a fight are strangely absent now.
Ahead of him, Varka studies their surroundings, thick brows furrowed together tightly. His eyes scan the mountain ridge for any further danger and, sensing it is finally gone, he slowly returns to a standing position to face Lohen.
“Yeah, I know,” Varka huffs in defeat, resheathing his claymore on his back. “Maybe we should check the cavern again?”
Annoyance pulses through Lohen at the suggestion. He inhales sharply, biting back a scathing reply in favor of stabbing his polearm into the snow to release his frustrations. A brief thought of turning his weapon on Varka flashes through his mind, ugly and unwanted, but Lohen can’t stop it.
“I think we should call it quits,” Lohen mumbles in between stabs. “Go back home for the day.”
“You want to go home?” Varka asks, brows furrowing tightly in confusion. “I thought you’d be having fun with all the fighting.”
Fun.
Something in Lohen snaps at the word. His jaw tightens, rage flaring before he can stop it. “Well, I’m not having fun,” he snaps. “Is that a problem for you?”
The tone slips out before he can stop it. Lohen doesn’t mean to sound so angry, but something in his mind is starting to blur at the edges, making it harder to keep a lid on his emotions. Varka’s eyes widen slightly at the sudden intensity of his outburst.
He doesn’t immediately reply—just stares at Lohen for a while. Eventually, he shakes his head and looks away.
“Geez, sorry,” he huffs, mumbling his next words under his breath, “Don’t have to bite my damn head off.”
Unfortunately, Lohen considers doing exactly that.
His eyes lock on to the back of Varka’s neck before he can stop himself. He stares, wild and unfocused, head spinning as the images fill his mind vividly. How would it feel to mark him? To lick away his blood? To press his face into his neck and inhale his scent?
Lohen wonders if Varka would respond eagerly. Maybe run his hands up his backside and pull him into his lap for more. Ghost his fingertips up his inner thigh, moving dangerously close to touching—
A throb of heat between his legs forcefully pulls him back to reality.
Fuck. Lohen is slipping fast. If the thoughts alone aren’t proof enough, the dampness growing in his underwear certainly is. He squeezes his thighs together tightly and prays that Varka can’t pick up on the scent.
“I’m not suggesting we give up,” Lohen suddenly says, filling the awkward silence. “I’m saying we should get out of here before the weather gets worse. We can come back tomorrow.”
“You really want to leave some poor girl stranded? To die?”
Another desperate twist punches Lohen in the gut. He stumbles, the pain stealing his breath away before he catches himself by locking his knees in place. The grip on his polearm tightens in a feeble attempt to conceal the tremor of his body.
“Are you trying to piss me off?” Lohen bites out, barely managing the words through the wave. “That’s not what I fucking said!”
“Okay, what the hell is with you?” Varka snaps back, turning around sharply with an intensity in his gaze rarely ever witnessed.
The look startles Lohen at first and he straightens his spine defensively, taking an instinctive step away from Varka. While he’s seen him angry like this before, he’d never once been on the receiving end.
“This is a rescue mission, Lohen,” Varka spits angrily, “What, are you not up to it now just because of a little bad weather?”
Lohen flinches, a rush of blood pounding through his head. “I— No, that’s not—”
“Because I’d hope someone in a position as important as Vice Captain wouldn’t abandon a civilian over a storm,” Varka continues his verbal assault without mercy. “Or have I been overestimating your abilities?”
Red floods Lohen’s vision.
It’s one thing for Varka to demand they keep wandering aimlessly around this mountain, but to call into question his conduct as a knight? As if he himself wasn’t the one to personally request his help? The only reason Lohen had even come here in the first place was as a favor to him.
Lohen doesn’t suppress the animalistic growl that bubbles from his throat this time, rage all but blinding him.
Varka’s face falls immediately once he realizes he’s taken the argument too far. His mouth drops open, an apology forming on his tongue, but Lohen is already moving. He hauls his weapon into both hands, squeezing tightly as he aims right at his chest.
Varka will parry him. Lohen knows this. He’s fast, but no one outstrikes the Grand Master. And yet, he still jumps, polearm tight in his hands, another growl ripping from his throat—
Fire.
Lohen’s growl dies in a strangled gasp. Heat pulses through him, starting at his core and permeating every inch of his body with such strength that his world spins. His vision wavers and he lets go of his weapon, his polearm falling into the snow. A dull awareness creeps into his mind that his feet are no longer on the floor.
The ground starts to come up at him fast. Too fast. Lohen braces for the impact—
—and then nothing.