Work Text:
Sebastian doesn’t stay after sex. Not usually. Not ever, actually. He has… never stayed, at all, not even on his first time. He’s always the one to leave, get up off the bed as soon as he’s recovered, dresses quickly, and leaves.
And then there’s Kurt, who keeps… fucking with all of his good, solid morals of fucking-and-fleeing, and actually making him stay. And what he truly hates about Kurt is that he doesn’t hate staying, and he doesn’t hate Kurt.
The first time Sebastian stays is the first time they actually have sex. It’s not the best sex he’s ever had, but he’s also drunker than he has been in years, and that’s saying something. When he’s got Kurt’s ankles on his shoulder, Sebastian has to keep slowing down, the world spinning and the bed feels like it’s on water, swaying and tilting, and he isn’t sure if he’s going to be sick or not. He isn’t sure how much he’s had to drink, but suffice to say, it’s actually really impacting his performance. Thank god it’s just Kurt, someone he doesn’t care that much about impressing.
Oh, who is he kidding? Kurt is probably one of the few fucks he’s had where he’s actually wanted to impress them somewhat, if only because he knows Kurt’s name, and he actually runs into Kurt on a pretty regular basis.
It doesn’t help when Kurt groans below him, trying to get their rhythm back, and says “You know, for someone who has sex as often as you do, you’d think you’d actually be good at it.”
Sebastian is affronted! He’s fucking good at sex. He’s just really, really, really… drunk. Kurt’s actually kind of blurry below him, and truth be told, Sebastian kind of just wants to give up and fall asleep. His limbs feel heavy and out of his control. Instead, he pulls out, rolls Kurt over onto his elbows and knees. Kurt slumps forward, moaning about how drunk he feels and how his head feels crazy. And Sebastian just presses back in. It’s easier to fuck Kurt like this, he discovers, uses much less effort and Kurt seems to be enjoying it too.
Kurt’s pressing back against him, moving with him now, and they actually manage to find a lazy, languid rhythm, one that has Sebastian panting groans into Kurt’s shoulder blades, and Kurt mumbling curse words into the pillows. Yes, Sebastian could definitely get off from this.
When they’re lying on the bed afterwards, panting, Sebastian realises that he’ll have to get up, and get dressed and catch a cab home, and god, what the fuck did he drink tonight to make his head spin so violently? With a groan, he pushes himself up onto his elbows, pulling his chest away from Kurt’s warm back where’d he’d all but collapsed after they’d come. Kurt rolls over slowly, a loose hand going to Sebastian’s wrist.
“Stay?” He asks, voice small and slurred, his eyes blinking at him slowly, groggily.
Sebastian tells himself he only stays because he’s so fucking drunk and thinks that if he has to travel all the way home, he might vomit everywhere. He wouldn’t want to vomit everywhere when he can just sleep his drunkenness off here.
It’s his excuse and he’s sticking to it.
*
Outside, the wind is howling, and when Sebastian looks up, he can see snow flying around. There had been forecasts for a potential snowstorm, but he hadn’t realised they might become a reality. He shrugs it off. It’s probably just a quick thing that’ll blow over within the hour.
They’re working on a group assignment for Music History, thankfully the only class they share at NYADA. Of course, Music History is fucking boring and… fucking isn’t boring.
Sex this time is infinitely better. Firstly, they’re not drunk at all, so the sensations are improved, the rhythm is breathtaking and above all, Sebastian doesn’t feel like he’s going to hurl at any second. His head is spinning from how incredibly everything feels, from the tingling of their skin touching, to the heat in his stomach and the tightness around him. He might, however, suffocate Kurt if he doesn’t keep his moans down.
Luckily, Kurt seems to realise how fucking loud he’s being and brings his hands from Sebastian’s shoulders down to his mouth, muffling the sounds. Sebastian kind of misses the nails dragging up his shoulders, but Kurt’s thighs vicing his hips more than make up for it. As Kurt gets closer, he chooses to muffle his sounds by biting into Sebastian’s shoulder, making Sebastian release a loud groan, almost fast-tracking his orgasm. When he does eventually come, fucking Kurt so hard that his head is beating a little violently against the headboard, he realises he actually doesn’t mind how loud Kurt is being. It’s a bit of an ego-boost, and one much needed after their last pathetic sexual encounter.
“Well, that was a lot better than last time.” Kurt informs him with a teasing grin, as they pull the blankets around them. Kurt’s apartment is somewhat cold, even with the heating. Of course, the sweat cooling on their bodies isn’t helping matters, so when Kurt decides they should stay in bed and work on the assignment, Sebastian only agrees because the bed is warm, and Kurt is quite warm too.
As it turns out, working on an assignment while naked in bed is difficult. They get less than a paragraph done before Kurt is pressing between Sebastian’s legs. Sebastian tells Kurt he doesn’t usually bottom, is just letting Kurt top just this once because he fucked Kurt hard before, and he’s sure Kurt must be sore. Kurt just gives him a knowing smirk, as if he somehow knows just how much Sebastianactually likes it, he just doesn’t let just anyone see him vulnerable and spread like this.
If it wasn’t obvious before, it becomes so when Sebastian finds himself unravelling before Kurt’s eyes, and Sebastian tries to find it in himself to care, but he just can’t not when Kurt is moving his hips like that, and pressing that spot he loves so fucking much, and Kurt’s hands are pinning his wrists to the bed, making his eyes roll back. Kurt tells him something like how beautiful he is, but Sebastian is kind of trapped in a pleasure haze and can hardly see or hear anything other than pure enjoyment.
By the time they’re done, Sebastian is kind of exhausted, and kind of doesn’t want to leave. He of course, wouldn’t think about staying. But Kurt is looking out of the window, a crease of concern on his face, and then insisting that Sebastian stay because it looks like that snowstorm is getting worse, and they really do have to stop having sex long enough to do their paper.
Sebastian tells Kurt it’s only because of the blizzard that he stays.
*
Sebastian feels like he’s floating. And wants to sleep. Man, he wants to sleep. The world is a blaze of colour and everything looks as tripped as fuck. He isn’t sure why he’s spinning around in circles though. Or maybe that’s the world. Why is there a cotton ball in his mouth? Fuck it’s hot. Circles, circles, the world is moving in circles. Are they on a boat? The floor is swaying under his feet. Maybe there’s an earthquake.
Kurt looks like a little fairy. He’s sparkling. God, Kurt’s eyes are pretty. He can’t hear Kurt, but his mouth is moving. Sebastian thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world. Oh, and now Kurt is shouting, why is Kurt shouting? Kurt’s hands feel so cold on his body, and Sebastian thinks Kurt is dragging him, but Sebastian doesn’t feel his feet moving.
And then they’re outside. And Kurt is looking at him, panicked. “Are you okay?” He’s asking over and over, voice echoing. “Sebastian?”
“Echo…” Sebastian says, laughing, throwing his head back as his own voice echoes, and Kurt’s skin is shining like sunshine and it kind of hurts his eyes.
“Shit…”
Sebastian can’t stop laughing, and staring at all of the pretty things flying around, reaching out to touch things, just to see if they’re there and wow, there’s something funny on the ground where he’s sitting and.
He doesn’t remember passing out.
Before he can open his eyes, Sebastian is leaning over the edge of the bed, trying to force his limbs to get up, get to the bathroom, but he can’t and ends up throwing up over the edge of the bed. He slowly opens his eyes and notices he’s in Kurt’s room. Guilt rushes through him and then… vomit is rushing through his mouth again, wracking his body as his torso clenches, spasms violently. Suddenly, there’s a warm hand on his back, and a bucket in front of him.
Beside him, he hears Kurt murmuring reassurances, rubbing comforting circles on his bare skin. Eventually, Sebastian sits back, eyes and nose pouring, collapsing into the pillows. He can hardly lift his arm to wipe his mouth, but he doesn’t seem to need to as Kurt’s got a tissue there, and is handing him some bright red drink.
“It’s an electrolyte drink,” Kurt tells him softly, eyes full of worry and sadness. Sebastian takes it and wants to gag from the sweetness, but at Kurt’s instruction he takes little sips. Kurt disappears for a moment, getting a towel to clean up Sebastian’s mess and Sebastian feels guilt race through him.
“What the fuck happened?” He croaks eventually.
“Someone spiked your drink.” Kurt tells him, tossing the now destroyed towel into the bucket.
“You’re kidding.” He couldn’t even remember the guy who’d bought him a drink. He didn’t even remember where he’d been last night. Had he even been out?
“Wish I was. Saw him do it from across the floor, and by the time I got to you, you’d already drunk it. And then you started going… kind of nuts. I have no idea what it was, but it was scary.” He hesitated. “I wasn’t sure if I should take you to the hospital, but Santana said you’d be fine, the best they’d probably do at the hospital was give you something to throw up and then give you electrolytes.”
He knows that Santana is a doctor, and for the first time, he’s actually glad Kurt has a roommate.
Kurt looks on the verge of tears, and Sebastian just wants to die. Everything inside of him aches, his head is throbbing, his mouth dry and cottony. His limbs are still feeling very heavy, and frankly, he just wants to go back to sleep.
“I was terrified.” Kurt admits, not looking at Sebastian. “You were shaking and sweating and… you kept throwing up, and then you passed out and you couldn’t walk properly when you were conscious and… I was just so scared…” Kurt’s actually crying now, cheeks and nose red.
Sebastian doesn’t have the energy to sit up so instead makes a vague motion for Kurt to come to him, and he’s pleased when Kurt comes forward into his arms, burying his head into his neck, crying softly into his shoulder. His body feels warm and comforting on his sore muscles. He knows he shouldn’t be noticing, because Kurt is crying, but Kurt also smells like happiness, like perfection, and safety.
Honestly, Sebastian still can’t remember a thing, but Kurt’s upset and Sebastian may be a dick but he doesn’t like seeing people actuallycry, least of all Kurt. With Kurt, he’s always preferred a snarky battle of wits. So he just lies there, Kurt curled into him, and tries to comfort him until his tears ease.
Sebastian thinks he should probably go home so that he can recover in his own bed, and let Kurt get back to his day. But Kurt won’t let go of him, not even hours later when Sebastian falsely insists he’s fine.
He says he’s only staying, just tonight, because Kurt wants him to.
*
Sebastian has never really been the kind of person to go to someone for help. He rarely admits to weakness. He has occasionally admitted to being wrong, but there’s nothing weak in that. Weakness is something different. Grief is something different.
His father had passed away from the stroke that morning, and Sebastian is tempted to get drunk to stop himself feeling, but the smell of alcohol makes him feel sick to the stomach after the whole spiking incident. He’d taken three days to truly recover, and even now feels uneasy with alcohol, on a physical level more than a mental one.
Without alcohol to soothe him, without anyone to, he turns to Kurt, shows up at his door in the late afternoon.
He doesn’t know what to say, or what to do. He doesn’t even know why he’s turning to Kurt. They aren’t friends. They’ve only fucked a few times. They did one assignment together. Perhaps it’s because he kind of feels like Kurt saved him a little with the spiking (Sebastian doesn’t mind fucking random people; he does mind that somebody drugged him to do so). Perhaps it’s because he bottomed to Kurt that one time. Perhaps it’s because he’s actually slept with Kurt, slept in the bed with him, woke up with him, that he feels somehow more open to him.
Kurt lets him in, looking scared, concerned. “Sebasti-,”
Sebastian walks in without an invitation, walks through the apartment, taking his jacket off and dropping it to the floor, and simply throws himself onto Kurt’s bed. He kicks off his shoes, and grabs the edge of the blanket and pulls it around himself, curling into a small ball. He thinks he might be going mad, but all he feels is numb, broken, and needing comfort, and Kurt’s bed feels like comfort, smells like home. He hears Kurt walk in, settle on the bed.
“Is everything okay?”
He shakes his head, staring blankly at the clock beside Kurt’s bed.
“What happened?”
“My dad died.” His voice sounds hollow even to his own ears.
And then Kurt is lifting the blanket away from Sebastian, peeling it from his clenching hands. He slides in beside Sebastian, bringing Sebastian’s head to his chest, an arm wrapping around his shoulders, the other around his head, fingers burying themselves in his hair.
“Oh, Sebastian… I’m so sorry…” He breathes.
Sebastian lies in his hold, letting himself get held for a while. Kurt doesn’t say anything, just holds him, and when Sebastian eventually breaks down, sobbing softly into the softness of Kurt’s hoodie, Kurt just keeps holding on, and through his tears, Sebastian thinks he might feel gentle kisses on the top of his head, on his forehead.
When he’s done crying, Kurt keeps holding him. When Sebastian moves up to kiss him, needing something, needing anything to feel alive, Kurt doesn’t kiss back, saying he doesn’t think it’s right, not after he just lost his dad.
Sebastian honestly doesn’t remember how he convinces Kurt, but soon Sebastian is in Kurt’s lap, kissing him deeply and riding him with a gentleness he’s never used during sex. Kurt’s hands on him are warm and grounding, and the way he kisses Sebastian feel and taste like heaven. In that moment, he’s completely with Kurt, and feels completely alive and he normally doesn’t describe anything as perfect, but this is perfect, and Kurt is actually kind of perfect.
Afterwards, when Sebastian moves to get his clothing, Kurt just smiles softly and shakes his head. “You’re not going anywhere, mister.” He says, patting the bed beside him. “Not after that.”
Because really, in a way, they’ve just made love for the first time, and he knows he isn’t in love with Kurt, but he’s definitely on the way to it.
When he grins and climbs back into bed with Kurt, he tells himself he’s staying for Kurt, because Sebastian’s dad just died, and he knows that if he leaves, Kurt will worry about Sebastian breaking down or something. So instead, he curls up, spooning Kurt.
He doesn’t want to worry Kurt.
*
Kurt stops asking him to stay.
In his defence, Sebastian stops trying to leave.
In fact, he’s been staying over nearly every night for the past four months now. Kurt calls him his boyfriend, and Sebastian doesn’t say it, but he thinks it. Kurt has started saying things like “I love you” and Sebastian also doesn’t say it, but he definitely thinks it. He knows Kurt knows that he’s in love with him. He knows Kurt knows that he just hasn’t worked up the courage to say those words yet, but he will. Because Sebastian has always been the kind to leave, get up off the bed as soon as he recovered, dress quickly and leave.
And with Kurt… Kurt asks him to stay, and Sebastian says “Just tonight” and “Fine. Tonight I won’t leave.” And Kurt grins at him, because he’s been saying that for months now, and Sebastian still stays with him every night. Honestly, he’s stopped even moving towards the door, preferring to stay curled around Kurt protectively, even if Kurt doesn’t need to be protected.
Truthfully, he loves being with Kurt. He loves being naked with him in bed, skin pressed tightly into his, gently making love, fingers entwined, or fucking hard, dragging teeth and nails against the others skin, bodies closer than anything else. He loves lying beside Kurt afterwards, covering him in kisses. He loves when Kurt trails fingers delicately across his face, as if he thinks Sebastian is something precious. He loves showering together, falling asleep together and waking together.
At five months, he can finally call Kurt his boyfriend. At seven, he can finally say “I love you” back. He’s pretty sure Kurt cries with happiness when he hears it back. At eight months, Kurt asks Sebastian to move in with him, because he spends literally every night with Kurt now, holding onto his warmth, and he never even makes an attempt to leave now. He wakes up every morning to Kurt and kisses him awake, making sure that Kurt never has to wake up alone. Kurt says it’s so he never has an excuse to leave now.
Sebastian says he never had any intention of leaving anyway.