Chapter Text
The party bus was filled with whistles and a chorus of hollers as it pulled around the driveway in front of the Maui mansion where the guests would be spending the next three weeks, soaking up alcoholic drinks and sun rays. Considering it was an all expenses paid getaway, that Kling and Pinoe of all people had approached them with, a few of the more realistic members were skeptical that it was too good to be true; but even they slipped easily into excitement at the luxurious sight laid out in front of them. Leis draped loosely around their necks, ten of the USWNT players spilled out of the doors once they opened, eight of which were in a life or death rush to claim the best beds and check out their new digs. Ali and Ashlyn hung back, carelessly swinging their locked hands between them as they laughed at their frantic teammates. Not only did they have seniority on the team, essentially guaranteeing they would get whichever bed they wanted, but they were also the only couple present, meaning if there was a private suite, for the sake of the house, it would be theirs. Before reaching the doors however, a standing sign that had gone unnoticed by the others, caught Ali’s attention. It read:
Welcome to your matchmaking retreat!
Orientation packets are in the living room, your certified matchmakers will meet with you at 6 pm tonight to initiate the process.
Enjoy your time, and remember to make the most of your experience!
“Kling and Pinoe are so dead,” Ashlyn stated with certainty and a mischievous smile, eager to alert her unsuspecting friends to the real reason they were in Maui. “They are... But maybe it’ll finally teach them to stop shipping their teammates,” Ali paused for a beat before continuing, “except us, of course.” She pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Ashlyn’s lips before pulling her towards the front doors.
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The rules were incredibly simple: fully comply with the matchmaking process and all that it entailed, or pay a hefty compensation fee for wasting the company’s time and promptly leave the premises.
Everyone was seated in the main living room with the Meg(h)ans facing the group, red hues marking their faces as they waited to be verbally torn apart now that the cat had been let out of the bag. They really hadn’t thought this one through, like at all. And as far as a logical explanation was concerned, they didn’t exactly have one at the moment. In fact, for the most part, they were just shocked that they had actually managed to get their teammates to Hawaii without their true intentions being seriously questioned or revealed. Normally their teammates knew better than to let them take charge of anything.
Ali and Ash surveyed the clearly annoyed but also somewhat shocked faces surrounding them as they attempted to hide their amusement. They knew that no matter what this adventure was bound to get messy, and they would have a front row seat to it all.
“So what, we have to answer a bunch of random questions and then go on dates, with each other, to try to identify our ‘ideal match’?” Alex was unsurprisingly the first to speak up, still trying to work out the details of their situation as the others looked on.
“Say no more, I’m in!” Kelley enthusiastically offered, before receiving a pointed glare from the striker and sinking back into the couch. “Or not…”
“Okay, question one: why don’t we just go rent a house and skip this whole thing? Question two: where did you two find out about this? Question three: why shouldn’t we kill you?” Alex’s voice held a steady tone, even on the final question, which sent a genuine shiver down Kling’s spine.
“A) it’s a one hundred thousand dollar compensation fee, and there’s no way we find another pad as sweet as this one for free. FREE, baby horse. We probably wouldn’t be able to find a rental at all on such short notice. Maui for three weeks, free, keep an open mind. B) we saw an ad on craigslist and-”
“Craigslist?!” Julie asked in disbelief, a touch of anger sharpening her voice. “These people could be murderers for all you know! They could cut us open and sell our organs on the black market… Or kidnap us for ransom…”
“Look, you’re our cinnamon roll, and we love you, but you’re being overdramatic.” Pinoe shot back, eliciting an offended gasp from Julie’s mouth. “We googled them. They’re legit. They pay taxes. They’re psychologists conducting an experimental study, not homicidal maniacs… And speaking of killing, you should NOT kill us, because this little rendezvous is in everyone’s best interest.” Kling, who thought it best to let Pinoe take the lead, merely nodded along.
“How so?” Alex’s eyes narrowed at the blonde.
“Team bonding, duh. We get to kick back, relax, and work on our chemistry with one another. We’ll gel better with each other on the field, Jillian will be thrilled, and we’ll all keep our spots on the team. Plus it’ll be like 75% free time, which means tanning, training, swimming, surfing, whatever your little hearts desire!” For thinking on the fly, Pinoe was proud of her pitch, but she held her breath in anticipation as she awaited a reaction.
“I mean, it’s not the worst idea in the world.” Tobin shrugged, blinded by her love of the beach, but also not particularly bothered by their predicament.
“We’re just bonding as friends and teammates then?” Christen questioned, not seeing how they could pull this off and still meet the matchmaking criteria that the psychologists were looking for.
“Absotively posilutely!” Kling chimed in as convincingly as she could, knowing that if her teammates knew just how romantic the set up was, there was no chance in hell of them staying.
Kling and Pinoe were obviously holding something back, but Alex needed this vacation, and besides, what was the worst that could happen? “Fine. We’ll stay.” A twinge of regret coursed through her body after the words left her mouth, but she pushed it aside.
“Wooooooooo!” Kelley jumped up, jogging over to sign the contract without so much as glancing at what it said.
“Really? You’re actually okay with this?” Ash asked, eyeing her friend with skepticism.
“It can’t be any worse than spin the bottle, or truth or dare, which we’ve all already stupidly played with each other… And it might actually help the team perform better.” Alex pushed herself up off the couch, praying that she wasn’t making a huge mistake. Erring on the side of caution, and guaranteeing that she wasn’t selling her soul to the devil, she thumbed through the contract before signing her name.
With Kelley and Alex committed to the experience, Kling, Pinoe, Ashlyn, Ali, Tobin, and Morgan quickly followed suit, ready to unpack their bags and take on everything Maui had to offer. Julie, however, was still hesitant about the whole thing, and Christen gladly sat by her side as she weighed her decision.
“Well you guys have fun with your questionnaires! We're heading out, we've already found our soulmates.” Ali announced simply but proudly, looping an arm around Ash’s.
“Oh, not so fast. Did we forget to mention? You guys have to participate, too. Individually. If you end up as each other’s matches, great! But if not…” Pinoe’s voice drifted out. The expression on Ash’s face forced Pinoe to realize that her safety was compromised, and she took off running down the hallway, chased by both Kling and the not so currently happy couple.
“You know you don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to. No one will hold it against you.” Christen reassured her teammate of both club and country. “If it makes you that uncomfortable, I’ll even fly back with you.” She didn't want to leave paradise, but Julie's feelings would always come first; it was just the type of person Christen was.
The offer brought a smile to Julie’s lips and washed away some of her more insignificant worries. She wasn’t a naturally anxious person by any means, but merely the idea of going on one-on-one dates with her teammates, or one teammate in particular, shook her to the core. Harboring a secret crush at camp for a few days was one thing, but being in close proximity for three solid weeks, surrounded by nosy teammates, was an entirely different situation. The longer she thought about it, the more she realized that maybe this was the push she needed; maybe this was divine intervention. “I think-... I think I’m going to stick it out, but only if you will, too.” She decided with a sigh, much to Christen's delight.
"If you're sure... Then let's do this." Christen stood up and wandered over to the table, signing along the dotted line after Julie.