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Jackie Pike isn’t quite sure why she is so deeply concerned about looking sexy tonight. But she is. She’s on her fifth outfit. The sitter is playing with the kids in the living room, and she’s glad she had the forethought to schedule her to come an hour before it’s time to leave. Getting ready for a night out with four kids who all need you in varying ways and varying degrees is not generally possible.
Her hair and makeup are done, at least, and turned out good. But the outfit. The damn outfit.
The first one was a little A-line dress, dark green satin, cowl neck. A relic of her early twenties. It still fits, but not the way it did back then. She’d let it sit on her body for approximately five seconds before ripping it off in disgust and shoving it into the back of her sock drawer.
The second option was a black V-neck romper that was meant for someone with a slightly lower waist. It hadn’t fit quite right.
The third was a burgundy silk top with spaghetti straps and lace along the neckline, tucked into a black denim skirt. It fit fine, but when Jackie looked in the mirror, all she saw was her senior year of college. Which is, incidentally, probably the last time she wore this outfit.
The fourth was a black long sleeved top with a plunging deep V-neck and a pair of high-waisted jeans. She hated the way it looked immediately.
The fifth, staring back at her in the mirror now, is also a slip dress, but it fits a little better than the first. It’s a more recent purchase, rather than a relic of her college days when she’d been slim and smooth and well-rested. It’s deep black, and a thicker material, and has some flattering gathers that keep from emphasizing some of the areas she’d prefer not to emphasize.
She exhales hard, turning to the side. This’ll have to do.
Maybe some fun earrings will draw attention away from her boring outfit and her imperfect body. She grabs the pair she’d purchased for the last New Year’s Eve party she’d attended – glittery champagne flutes hanging from strings of pearls. Lipstick, too, maybe that will help – she goes for a darker shade than she’d usually wear, not that she usually wears lipstick. No point, when you’re chasing toddlers and helping with math homework and making chicken nuggets for the tenth night in a row because your children won’t eat anything else.
She orders her Uber, and hugs each of her children goodbye, and thanks the sitter again. She does not text Hayden.
+
Shane and Ilya are waiting for her in front of the swanky restaurant when her Uber drops her off. Ilya looks kind of adorably uncool, in her opinion, always dressed in a way that reads as not quite North American and not quite up-to-date. Shane is wearing the same type of thing he usually is wearing off the ice – jeans and a plain button down. They both smile when they see her, and Ilya comes at her with a big, tight hug.
“Hi, Jackie. You clean up nice.”
She hugs him back. “Thanks. Hi.”
Shane hugs her next, more restrained. She notices they’re wearing the same cologne.
That’s cute, she thinks. Coupley. In love. It’s in love behavior. A cloud of bitterness over her mind, Jackie straightens her dress and tries not to wonder when the last time her husband displayed in love behavior toward her was.
“Let’s go in,” Ilya says, slipping an arm around her shoulders. “I made a reservation.”
+
She still doesn’t quite understand why Shane and Ilya keep inviting her out, but she clings to it. They make her feel cool and desirable, which is weird, being that they are a male/male couple. But she gets why Ilya had such a reputation as a ladies’ man. He knows how to be charming. He’s always there with compliments and chivalry. Jackie never opens a door for herself when he’s around, or pays a bill, or feels ignored.
They always ask about her kids, which is good, because the kids are basically her entire existence, and she doesn’t have much else to talk about. They tell her funny stories about their team in Ottawa. As they eat dinner, they tell her about their plans for the upcoming summer break – to relax at the cottage, mostly, but also to go to a Russian-language film festival in Toronto, and to surprise Shane’s parents with a little party to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Just a small gathering at the cottage with a few of their longtime family friends.
“Forty years, wow,” Jackie says as she sips her French 75. The bottle of wine Ilya had chosen to pair with the meal went quickly, and with the food gone they’d opted for cocktails for their second round, except for Shane who was sticking with red wine. “That’s crazy.”
“Yeah. I mean, they got married pretty young.”
“And waited… how many years before you were born? Like, nine?”
Shane nods. “Yeah, uh, I think they were trying to have a kid a little earlier than that. But it didn’t happen for whatever reason. They were in their mid thirties when I was born.”
Nine years together before a baby. Mid thirties when the baby was born. Jackie always forgets things like that are an option. She finds herself forgetting a lot of things are options these days.
“And they still love each other?” The French 75 asks on Jackie’s behalf.
“Oh, they do,” Ilya says wryly. “Sometimes they forget there are kids in the room. If they have been drinking enough wine.”
The French 75 also pulls a burst of laughter from Jackie’s mouth. “Kids, like, you two?”
“We are kids to them. Yuna bought Shane that shirt. And the socks I am wearing. And every time we have dinner at their house, they try to give us groceries. Like, big things they get at Costco. David loves Costco and he buys us lots of cans from there.”
“Our pantry is full of cans of diced tomatoes,” Shane says solemnly. “Like, twenty cans. I don’t know what they think we need that many diced tomatoes for. My dad says it’s so we can have healthy ingredients on hand since we travel so much and we might not have time for grocery shopping when we are home.”
Jackie smiles softly. It’s sweet. That the Hollander family is so close and happy and caring.
It’s the kind of family Jackie always wanted.
God.
She drains her glass.
“Would you like another one?” Ilya asks instead of commenting on how rapidly she downed the drink.
“Maybe something different,” Jackie says.
Ilya finishes his drink too, and she wonders if he’s keeping pace with her to make her feel more comfortable. It strikes her as the kind of thing Ilya would do. For how much Hayden truly despises him, and how the Metros talk about what an asshole he is… he has sure been nothing but kind, caring, and wonderful toward Jackie.
She gets what Shane sees in him, even if he's definitely not her type.
And, truly, she’s happy for Shane. Over the moon. She’s known him for many years now, and always really liked him – not that she wants to admit this to him, but she was the one who pushed Hayden to become friends with him. She’d picked him out as the one Montreal Metro she liked, and she’d sicced Hayden upon him. Now she regrets it on the basis of the harm Hayden ended up doing to him.
But she also thinks Shane came out on top, even after the whole Metros exile bullshit. Because he has a new team, which has been doing excellent this season, and because now he gets to be with Ilya publicly, and because Ilya loves him so well. So thoroughly. Shane’s whole demeanor is different when Ilya is around. Softer, more relaxed, quicker to laugh. She wonders if Ilya realizes that.
She also wonders if Shane realizes how much his presence had kept Hayden in check. How much worse Hayden has gotten since Shane left the Metros. Staying out late with the boys, nobody there to give him shit for it– calling people pussy or limp dick or, when Jackie isn’t around, probably much worse things.
She wonders if her demeanor changes when Hayden is around. She thinks it does, lately, but maybe not in a good way. Not like Shane’s does when Ilya is around.
She looks at the menu to distract herself. “I feel like I just want like… a really dirty martini. A super, super dirty martini.”
Ilya laughs a bit. “Gin or vodka?”
“Is it okay if I say gin?”
“If gin is what you want, I demand it.” Smoothly, he flags down their waiter. Orders an extra dirty gin martini for Jackie and a double vodka on the rocks for himself, probably the most expensive option on the menu.
“I’m good, thanks,” Shane says with a touch of awkwardness when the waiter asks if he’d like another drink. He gestures to his still-half-full glass of wine.
“I feel like… you guys need to fill me in,” Jackie says, really thinking it would be best if there was some kind of conversation that distracted her from the elephant in her mind. “I got a lot of info second-hand from Hayden. So I’m kind of confused about the whole timeline.” She gestures between them. “How did you get together? When? Who asked who?”
Ilya grins, and Shane blushes a little, but also grins a little.
“Who asked who,” Ilya repeats. “That is a fun question.”
“Ilya practically hunted me,” Shane says. “In the fucking… showers. After a thing. He like, showed me his dick.”
“Aren’t you guys always naked in the showers?” Jackie asks with a giggle.
“Well, yeah, but we don’t typically show each other our dicks like that.”
“You were begging for it,” Ilya dismisses. “Looking at me with those eyes. Bah.”
“Either way, uh, Ilya started it. But we were just, you know. Hooking up. For like, a few years.”
“When was this?” Jackie asks.
“Uh… I’m almost thirty-one, so…” Shane squints. “Thirteen years ago.”
Jackie’s jaw drops. “Thirteen years?” She repeats too loudly, just as the waiter comes back and sets down a coupe glass of icy green liquid garnished with three olives on a gold pick in front of her.
“Something like that,” Ilya agrees after thanking the waiter for his vodka. He sips it.
“You guys have been together for thirteen years? I knew it was a while, but, damn… I thought, like, six.”
“Well, we weren’t like… in a serious romantic relationship… for a lot of that time,” Shane says.
“Yes. Shane needed to play around first,” Ilya says. “He had to date Rose Landry.”
Shane rolls his eyes. “Barely. But it was right after me and Rose broke up that me and Ilya… became more serious. So, for being in a serious relationship, more like, um, five?”
“That is generous,” Ilya comments. “Serious relationship started, what, in Florida to you?”
“Yes,” Shane says, and Jackie absolutely notices the way Ilya’s hazel eyes melt into total mush. She sips her martini. Sips it again.
“What happened in Florida?” She asks.
“I told Ilya I was gay,” Shane says.
“After… several years of hooking up with him?”
“That’s what I said,” Ilya laughs.
“Look, it’s– it’s complicated. I dunno.”
“It’s okay,” she says more gently. “Sorry to make light of it.”
He shakes his head dismissively. “Uh, then we started… talking. More. And when we saw each other it was a little less… focused on… you know. Just sex. I mean, the sex was still a part of it.”
“Yes, we still have sex,” Ilya says dryly. His mouth flickers. “Maybe Jackie does not want to hear about that, though.”
“Oh, shit, sorry. I’m a little buzzed,” Shane admits.
“No, no, it’s okay. I’ve had sex myself, once or twice.”
They both laugh at her joke. Shane continues. “That summer, after Florida– we spent a few weeks together. And that was when we kind of made it official. But I’d take it back further than that. Things changed almost a whole year before that, but then I… got scared, and I dated Rose for a bit. To, you know. Try.”
“Try to be straight?” Jackie asks.
“More or less.”
“I’m glad you figured out how to just be yourself,” Jackie says earnestly. “If one of my kids turns out to be gay I would just want them to be themself. I would hate for them to struggle.”
What she doesn’t say is that she’d hope if one of her kids turns out to be gay, that they could talk to Shane or Ilya about it, and know it was normal. And never have to feel any different. And that they’d have the good judgement to come out to their mom before their dad. So she could help them with the latter task. Because he wouldn’t take it all that well, she doesn’t think.
Not that she necessarily thinks one of her kids is gay. But they’re all so young, so who knows. And she loves them very much, and she worries about all kinds of things. A lot of the time, her mom-worries hinge on what Hayden might do in certain situations.
Shane nods, sips his wine, turns his eyes away. “That’s good.”
“How did your parents take it?” Jackie asks, kind of without meaning to, but now she’s curious.
“They took it well. They were just really surprised I was dating Ilya. Like everyone… seems… to be. I dunno. Like, Ilya and I never decided we wanted to be rivals and hate each other. That was the league. It was the narrative that existed no matter which two kids ended up drafted bythe Metros and the Raiders. So I dunno why people were so obsessed with us taking it personally.”
Ilya nods. “Yes.”
People, Jackie thinks, including her husband.
God.
She sips her martini.
+
With their drinks finished a little while later, she starts to dread going home.
She’d told the babysitter she had no idea when she’d be back. The babysitter had been fine with that. The guest room was made up, so they’d agreed the sitter would just sleep there if it got too late, and Jackie would pay extra with no qualms.
But Shane isn’t a late night person. Jackie knows this. He probably wants to go to bed soon. It’s pushing nine o’clock.
Ilya signs the check and slides his credit card back into his wallet.
“Thank you, again, for dinner,” Jackie says. “It’s so nice to get out of the house like this.”
“Well, we can keep the party going if you want,” Ilya says easily. “There is a club nearby. Shane and I have history there.” He winks at his husband.
Shane groans, but smiles a bit too. “That fuckin’ place?” He’s definitely a bit more buzzed than Jackie is used to seeing him, but after a few drinks herself, she makes this observation distantly.
“What happened there?” She asks.
“Dating Rose Landry,” Ilya answers. “He was there with her. I was there too, totally on accident. I saw them dancing. Dancing all sexy, and Shane had this sad drunk look in his puppy dog eyes but I was not allowed to touch because he was there with Rose Landry. I almost killed someone that night. Imagine seeing the love of your life dancing with a hot movie star… it puts a knife in your heart, Jackie. It really does.”
“It was so long ago,” Shane argues.
“Yes. But we need, what is the word, a redemption. For the club, no? Let’s have a redemption.”
“Okay, okay,” Shane agrees. “Only if Jackie wants to.”
“I’m game,” she says with a grin. It feels like an understatement.
+
She hasn’t been to a club in years. They even dance-- or, Ilya and Jackie kind of dance while Shane mostly stands next to Ilya. They drink more. They laugh. Shane forces a glass of water into her hand and Ilya’s too.
Then Jackie finds herself in the women’s bathroom, moving clumsily, trying to fix the smeared bits of mascara around her eyes. She watches herself in the mirror. Figures she looks pretty drunk.
Hayden is in Boston tonight. Playing Ilya’s old team, incidentally. Though Jackie happens to know that neither team has figured out how to do their whole rivalry thing without their poster boys. They’ve been floundering, trying to find a dynamic. Hayden has declared Cliff Marleau his main enemy, often citing the time Marleau knocked Shane into the ice and gave him a concussion years ago. It always puts a bad taste in Jackie’s mouth. She wants to interrogate him about it. What, do you seriously care? Do you even like Shane? The Marleau guy did it on accident, probably – not the body check, that was definitely on purpose, but the concussion. No hockey player goes onto the ice meaning to hurt another player, not really. At least, Jackie thinks they probably don’t.
But then, what does she know?
Her drunk mind circles around a memory. She was pregnant. That happened a lot. She was so fucking tired from taking care of a baby and two little kids alone while battling morning sickness. And even when Hayden had breaks from hockey, she practically had to trick him into helping out. She’d made up a shopping trip with her sister. Coerced Hayden into taking their (at the time) three kids to the aquarium for a few hours so she could lay on the couch in silence. Because if she’d just asked him to play with the kids so she could have a break, he’d have said yes, and then five minutes later Ruby would show up needing something, and Hayden wouldn’t stop her. And then Arthur would cry and Hayden would ask for help. And then Jade would need a snack and Hayden would say I can’t take care of a crying baby and make a snack at the same time. As if that wasn’t Jackie’s everyday life.
She’d been pregnant, she’d needed a break, and she’d had to lie to Hayden to get one. And even then, after the fact, she found out that he couldn’t even manage their kids at the damn aquarium by himself. He’d gotten Shane to go with him to help with the kids.
Not that she was mad Shane went with him. But it was kind of pathetic to think Hayden couldn’t even take care of his own three children by himself.
Later, Jackie’s sister had sent her a picture she’d found online. Shane holding baby Arthur at the aquarium while Hayden stood in the background, hands empty, doing nothing.
She thinks about the example she is setting for her three daughters by tolerating his casual inability to step in as a parent. Thinks about the example she is letting Hayden set for Arthur. Arthur, who is sweet and timid and sensitive, and who will grow up at least partially surrounded by the toxic masculinity Hayden gleefully participates in with the Metros. Even after Hayden retires, he’ll probably still be friends with JJ and whoever else.
Hayden had often said Ilya is a bad influence for the kids. That was an excuse he pulled when he wanted to have an excuse for his unwarranted animosity. Jackie can’t imagine what the fuck he possibly means by that. She thinks JJ is a worse influence, or Drapeau, or Comeau, or their nasty fucking coach who Jackie tries to never be in the same room as. Back when it was always Hayden, JJ, and Shane together, it wasn’t bad. But now that it’s just JJ and Hayden, their antics and sense of humor have veered harder and harder toward a drunken frat boy.
When she was young, she’d thought Hayden was sweet. Cute. Fun. The money was a plus, and being in really good shape from hockey was another plus. He could buy her a big house and when the unexpected pregnancy came shortly after their wedding, there was no problem, no concern, Jackie could just be a stay at home mom. Even when the unplanned baby turned out to be two babies, that was fine. Money is not an issue, babe! Just focus on being a kick ass mom.
Well, she’d been focusing on being a mom for years now. During that time, she could probably cobble together a few solid cumulative days where Hayden had focused on being a dad.
Jackie had wanted to be a mom. She really had. And she loves her kids more than anything in the world. Wouldn’t trade them for anything. Because of that, she figures, she cannot have any regrets. But she hadn’t wanted to be a mom that young. And she hadn’t necessarily wanted so damn many children. She hates to even think that – there isn’t a single one she’d choose to eliminate if she could go back in time. They are all so special and perfect in their own ways. But four is a lot. Four is a lot, especially when your whole world has broken down to just the nice house your husband bought for you and the four children screaming at each other and no time to exist, to breathe, to have fun just as yourself. With no loving, caring, supportive relationship to lean on when you need to lean on something.
He still kisses her, still texts her “I love you”s from the road, still comes onto her at night after the kids were in bed when he wasn’t on the road. But she never feels very enthusiastic about sleeping with him. It could be different if he made an effort beforehand, maybe. Got a sitter, took her out for dinner, maybe gave her a back rub, bothered to talk and joke around with her. But even then, it isn’t that enticing. And the examples of him making an effort beforehand, well. She can’t come up with many.
And last night, before he’d shipped off to Boston, they’d gotten in a fight, and afterward she’d gone to bed and he’d stayed up late playing video games. He hasn’t texted her since. She hasn’t texted him either. She isn’t a hundred percent sure what the fight was about. But she knows Hayden will say she started it. That she came at him out of nowhere. That she went off on him about nothing. Because this is what he always says. But it’s not nothing. She wants to scream that it is not fucking nothing. It’s so much, Hayden. It’s so fucking much and you don’t–
Jackie wants to rub at her eyes hard, but it’ll fuck up her makeup, so she doesn’t. She figures she should stop rehashing a fight in her head. She should enjoy her night out. Enjoy her friends.
She makes a last ditch effort to tidy herself up before going back out there to find Shane and Ilya.
Jackie Pike has had enough of being the responsible one, at least for right now. She’s drunk. She’s going to drink more. She’s already decided on it.
+
She isn’t exactly sure what’s happening an hour later when two hockey players are leading her out of the loud club, into the crisp night air, and then into the back seat of a car. It all makes sense ninety percent of the way, but that last ten percent is lost somewhere. She doesn’t question it. Doesn’t question when Shane helps her buckle her seatbelt from the seat next to her.
“Do you like Montreal?” Ilya is asking the driver from the passenger seat.
“Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you?”
“Once in a while,” Ilya answers. “We just come to see our friend.”
“Your friend looks an awful lot like, uh. Hollander. The hockey player? I don’t really follow hockey, buddy, but if I were you, I wouldn’t let my wife sit with a hockey player while I sat in the front. You want me to pull over so you can switch?”
Jackie bursts out laughing.
“Oh, no, is okay,” Ilya says smoothly. “He is, uh, what is the word – not at the peak of his career anymore. He skates so slow these days. He is no threat to my beautiful wife and her devotion for me.”
“Ilya,” Shane groans. He rolls his eyes. Jackie laughs again. She covers her face, embarrassed at the bit Ilya is playing into. But also, weirdly, kind of delighted.
And drunk. She’s fucking drunk.
She spends some time thinking about that, and doesn’t really catch the rest of the conversation with the Uber driver. Then her door is open, and Ilya is standing there, and Shane is standing behind him.
“Come on, sweetheart, our children are waiting,” Ilya jokes loudly. He reaches over her and unbuckles her seatbelt, and helps her out of the car. The guy drives off. They’re at Jackie’s house.
“Oh, shit, he drove off without you guys,” Jackie says.
“Don’t worry about it,” Ilya says as they lead her to the front door. “We’ll get another Uber in a bit. You have your keys?”
She fumbles with her stupid tiny purse. Usually she uses a bigger, more practical one that can hold wipes, some coloring crayons and a pad of paper, some snacks, and all the other five million things you need to have a peaceful outing with an army of children. She finds her keys and messily goes to unlock the door. She manages to.
Shane and Ilya come inside with her.
“Oh, hey,” the babysitter says from the couch. “Have a fun night out?”
“Yeah,” Jackie answers.
The older girls materialize out of nowhere, wearing their pajamas and tugging on Jackie’s arms. “Mommy! Mommy!”
She feels a little stab of something like guilt. She’s fucking drunk. Her kids are here. She can’t be a mom right now.
“Ruby and Jade, my two best friends,” Ilya says, intervening. “Why are you awake? It is so late.”
“We heard you guys come in,” Ruby giggles. Jade giggles too, nodding several times.
“Well, now you must go back to bed. Come with me.”
Jackie watches, dumbfounded, as he leads her two oldest kids back toward their rooms.
“Sorry,” the sitter says with a laugh. “You all set?”
“Yes,” Jackie answers a bit unsteadily. “I’ll venmo you first thing in the morning. If that’s okay.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“Just text me the amount.”
“Sounds good. See you later.”
The woman leaves then, and Jackie watches, swaying a bit. She becomes aware of Shane’s gentle grasp on her bare shoulder.
“Come with me,” he suggests. She has no sense but to follow.
He leads her into her bedroom. Sits her down on the bed. She hears Arthur’s little voice from the hallway too now, and Ilya talking to him.
“I need– I can’t go to sleep with all this makeup on,” she says, words sounding dumb to her own ears.
Shane nods. “Do you need help getting it off? You might have to, uh, tell me how, but I can help.”
She shakes her head, cheeks getting warm, realizing the degree to which these two men are babysitting her right now. “No, no, I can– I’ll just take a shower. I’m fine. Really. But thank you.”
“Okay,” he says.
Clumsy, she gets up and goes into the bathroom. Shuts the door. Turns the shower on.
It feels like quite the chore to wash her face and brush her teeth, but she manages. Scrubs at her skin until her fingers come away clean. Brushes her teeth there, standing naked in the shower, letting the toothpaste foam drip down her chin and onto the floor. She holds her face under the water for several minutes after. She can feel her heart pounding in her head. Probably, that last drink was a mistake. Probably, the last two drinks were two mistakes.
The fight swirls around her drunken mind. Hayden’s stupid face when she snapped at him. The stupid confused, surprised, empty, teenage look on his face. The “why are you coming at me, babe?”
The way he’d iced her out after. The empty stare at the TV. The hurried leaving in the morning.
She thinks of the last time they’d gone out together. It was for JJ’s birthday. Hayden had wanted to stay later. Jackie had reminded him they had kids at home, the kids would be up early, she didn’t want to be exhausted the next morning. He’d given in. They’d gone home.
When they’d arrived at home at 10:45 PM., which was about an hour later than Jackie had started asking if they could go home, the girls had gotten up, just as they had tonight. They’d swarmed. Hayden had laughed it off and gone to take a shower. Jackie had to get them back to bed herself. By the time she’d cleaned up and gotten into bed, Hayden was snoring.
Now, she’s standing in her bathroom dripping, a towel wrapped around her body, while someone who is not even the twins’ parent gets them back to bed. She hadn’t asked Ilya to do it. He’d just done it. Just decided to be a good friend and help out. He could have just gotten her home and said okay, bye.
She comes out of the bathroom and finds a glass of ice water sitting on the nightstand, and a set of pajamas folded neatly on the bed. She bursts into tears.
“Hey, hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Shane’s voice comes from the doorway. Then he’s in the room with her, looking concerned, but not seeming to care that she’s wearing nothing but a towel.
“Yes,” she manages. She wipes her face with the heel of her hand, but it’s useless, because she’s just gotten out of the shower and she’s damp all over. “Fuck. Sorry. I got too drunk.”
“It’s okay. Can I… can I do anything?”
She makes a sound that is half sob, half laugh. “No. You guys have… done enough. It’s so nice of you. I just… Hayden would never do any of this for me.”
Shane’s face falls completely. “He wouldn’t?”
“No. He’d let me deal with the kids and he wouldn’t… get me a glass of fucking water, that’s for sure.”
“I thought you’d be thirsty,” Shane says, as if an explanation is necessary.
Jackie kind of laughs again, miserable. “And he wouldn’t have taken me out to a nice dinner in the first place.” She rubs at her face with one hand, holding the towel shut with the other. “We got in a fight the other day. Because he wasn’t helping. He just wants to play video games. He says he… needs to relax on his days off. And he brings all his loud friends over all the time. He’s making me fucking miserable lately.” She says this without meaning to say it. But it’s kind of nice to admit.
“I didn’t realize it was that bad,” Shane says quietly. “I knew he… I knew I felt hurt by his actions, but I didn’t realize he was… making you miserable. I was too focused on my own thing to notice that. I’m so sorry, Jackie.”
“I really appreciate that you guys have been coming to visit,” she says quietly.
“Of course. We do too.”
She rubs at her tear stained face, drawing in a shaky breath. She needs to get up. Dry off, get changed, drink that water, go to bed. Let Shane and Ilya move on with their night. But the idea of sitting here wallowing in her own misery is just so damn appealing.
Shane sits next to her, quiet, patient. Then, eventually, he speaks up again. “This summer, you could come visit us at the cottage, if you want a break from it all for a couple days.”
“Thanks. But the house would burn down and the kids would starve if I left Hayden in charge.”
“Then bring the kids,” Shane says. “We have plenty of guest rooms. And Ilya convinced me we needed to get a motor boat. We can drive it around the lake and throw the girls off the inner tube a couple times– Ilya would love that. It’ll be lots of fun.”
She laughs a bit, dizzy, still crying, and nods.
She has no idea how she’ll explain to Hayden that she’s taking the kids to Shane and Ilya’s, and he’s not invited.
But Jackie figures she can find a way.