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Donna does sometimes regret becoming an assistant. Scratch that, she regrets becoming Harvey's assistant. It was the fifth time this month she had to stay late to help him out with an important case Jessica personally gave him.
Harvey wasn’t making her stay, he knows he could never force her to anything. What he had done, however, was to mope around stating he had to finish it in time for the wedding. Thence having all the free time to give to poor Mike, who was also stuck in the office finishing this hell of a case.
For that she couldn’t say no, even if she really, desperately wanted to.
She did look forward to having some free time while they were on their honeymoon, and a pricey souvenir from Venice, apparently.
They had been fighting about it for weeks now, until Donna had had enough and booked a trip for them. Not after yelling at them that, if they didn't know from before, a normal person goes on holiday every year and they are perfectly free to travel at any time. What she got in return was confused and disgusted looks which made her give up and book herself a nice five day resort in the Bahamas.
So on she went down the floor to find Mike in his cubicle and retrieve some documents Harvey needed for tomorrow's meeting.
Her steps immediately quieted down walking into the room when she saw Mike's messy top of hair. But it was the sound of muffled sobs that truly made her halt. Decidedly setting off alarms in her head. Something was seriously wrong.
“Mike?” she rushed to him. “Mike, honey..”
Being closer now she could truly see the man, which made her frighteningly confused as to what was going on. Her legs only dared go besides the cubicle, dread keeping her from coming closer.
Donna noticed that from the chin, downward to the neck, was glossy of tears. Even the collar was vaguely moistened.
He quickly tried to wipe his tears away, but to no use. By it the sleeves of Mike's shirt were only becoming more wet and satiny looking.
“You need to tell me what’s going on, that you are sitting here all by yourself, crying.” The words came out harsher than she had meant to, in spite of the fact that her heart ached of anxiety for the man in front of her.
The air between them stayed quiet with only Mike's sobbing breaths. She tried to move a bit closer, daring a soft, questioning “Mike?”
“I’m sorry for scaring you. It’s nothing”
She gave him a pointed look.
“Its stupid”
“Well I wouldn't know until you tell me”
He let out a sigh after a few moments between them, daringly trying to speak out. “Its about them..Its always about them”
She stared at him waiting for more.
“My parents.. Grammy” where his poor voice cracked and shivered. He buried his face in his hands from embarrassment. “Shit, this is so childish”
“Hey!-” she did move at that. She went on into his cubicle, seating herself at the desk in front of his covered face. Slowly she took his hands away from his wet face, instead keeping them in her lap safely.
“Missing people from your life is not childish Mike. It is not ridiculous, it is a completely natural part of life.” She claimed. “Especially when you're about to hit such a big milestone”
“God, it is ridiculous”
“Let me hear you out then,” giving him a supporting squeeze. His furrowed eyebrows lessened a little, preparing himself to utter stupid statements he was so sure Donna will make fun of.
“J-just. Shit. I love Harvey, yeah? Without him where would I be now?” it being a more rhetorical question. The answer was obvious, at least to Mike. The answer being on the streets or jail. Donna likes giving the benefit of the doubt, truly that Mike would have found his way after some time. But they can only agree to disagree.
“I would be selling weed on the streets probably” continuing, giving in to those dark thoughts one is anxious over in dark times, awake late at night. Or drunk thoughts in a quiet bar with a friend at dawn. “I am. Nothing. Without Harvey”
The most untrue statement of a century, but she slapped the urge to argue so as to not interrupt Mike when she finally got him talking.
“And now the day is getting closer, and it's truly embarrassing Donna. Having so little people to invite. No-” He grinded his eyes closed hard on that like it physically pained him, not just mentally. “No, not little. Scratch that, not any people. You guys are technically Harvey's side, not mine. I don’t have anyone” There it was again, his eyes swelling up with tears again. Donna couldn't do anything other than let him talk and keep holding his hand. To ground Mike or herself, she couldn't give an honest answer.
“I started thinking about the ceremony, and the whole ‘walking down the aisle’ situation, you know? Where Harvey will surely have Jessica to go with, or you, in support..” She felt his hands shiver a little between hers. She watched him try to hold his voice steady, and lose. “Who am I gonna go down the aisle with?”
If she tried to hold herself before, the attempt would have failed completely now. It made it hard not to tear up and feel tears down her cheeks too. That statement absolutely crushed her.
She could not stop herself from picturing a small messy haired boy in front of her. One that hurt his knee and needed a guardian to hold him. Imagining a teenager with longer, punk hair, who's going through his first heartbreak and desperately needing advice on what to do. A young adult, messing up with his education, and only craving a few words of support. Acknowledge that he will always have someone to fall to when things get bad.
In the end, Micheal will always be a child stuck in the past, searching for his parents' hands in the dark. He will still, always be stuck in the empty room of his parents, empty handed. With only his memories to guide him out.
She fell back into focus to see Mike rubbing his eyes and continuing to speak.
“Its so fucking stupid Donna, I sound like I’m jealous,” letting out a bitter laugh. “I mean this was never a problem before. I never really expected to marry a guy. Frankly I never expected to get married at all. So I dont understand why its such a big problem for me now”
Quietly he leaned back in his chair with the ball of his palms pressed on his strained eyes. He still seemed uneasy, but to Donna's solace it did look like he was calming down, perhaps breathing easier. Like he had gotten everything out in the open, passing the ball over to Donna.
She watched him carefully, breathing deeply in tandem on thinking of what to say. Her mind was however blank and her mouth dry yet moist.
And so she turned around to search for some tissues. She saw some at the neighbouring desk behind, and grasped the whole box to herself. With no fight at all she pulled Mike's hands and dragged him towards herself, putting them safely in her lap. She then delicately held onto the side of his jaw during which she grabbed a tissue to wipe the remainder of his tears away.
Like a friend, or a mother, would have done.
Outside this square cubicle, the cognitive walls they surrounded themselves in, if someone passed by now they would find the sight absurd. Insane enough to tentatively spread it around the firm and wonder how hard Jessica was actually riding her employees.
In spite of that the woman could not get herself to care enough. She truly couldn't care less given that her heart was breaking for Mike's worries. That this grief will never go away, however much she or Harvey desires it gone.
Memories of them meeting flooded her brain. A scrawny guy who joked about running away from the police, which turned out to be true. How with such few words, managed to impress Donna, Harvey, and everybody else at this firm. She recalled his first week at the job. When he was terribly lost because law books and law shows only stretched so far to show the reality of a lawyer.
It was then Donna accepted the responsibility over him, if only to spare him from being chewed out by Harvey before he even had the chance of showing what he was worth.
She never did have any siblings. You could say Harvey was the closest thing to it. He was her family as much as she was his.
Mike, however, turned out to be a dear little brother to Donna. The charming, wild sibling. The ‘always lost’ one.
Wasn't it her job now, to help guide him?
With that, she put on her brave face, more so metaphorically, whilst she placed the tissue down to hold his hands that had remained in her lap.
“Micheal-” she said, visibly startling him, “you are not nothing. You are everything, with or without him.” Every word was deliberate, serious yet laced with emotion. She needed him to believe her, so he never would doubt himself again.
“Yes, he had given you the push that you needed. But you’re the one who did it all. You fixed your life, you worked your ass off all while being this–this amazing person who shows up for everyone”
A little overwhelmed by the compliments made him face his shoes humbly which Donna pulled softly at his hands to look at her again.
“It hurts me that you would think that we’re ‘Harveys side’, because we’re not” she released a sigh.
“Honey, I’ve known Harvey for a long time. But you? I know you. I know your life story, the things you’ve been through.” she stated, a soft smile on her lips. “I know when you make faces at Harvey when he turns around, or mess with his vinyl when he's not present and you think I'm busy.” That mention made Mike grin, instantly making his face brighter, as well as making it Donna's biggest achievement.
She had more to add to that grin. “I know for instance how you spilled redbull all over my computer and tried to cover it by buying a new one-” He tried to interrupt her there but one look silenced him. Too late, everything was known. “ – and how you read through the ‘do not touch’ files on my desk, then changed them back exactly the way I had them. Almost exactly.” The man cackled at that, “And I definitely know you did not like the color on the napkins I helped choose, but you didn't say anything as to not hurt my feelings”
He sheepishly smiled and gazed down. “Helped" is kinda an overstatement. You're basically planning the whole thing”
She tugged at him again to not enable him to go off course.
“I know you” she spoke solemnly.
“Well yeah, because you’re Donna” he justified.
“Because I love you, Micheal. I care about you”
His eyes didn't gleam of loneliness anymore, as yet with some uncertainty, she could tell her words were winning him over. He only ever needs a little push towards the right direction.
The doubt he felt fell away from his shoulders and for the first time in all of this he grabbed Donna's hands back, to say he understands.
They sat in silence now, so long Mike's damp sleeves made him shiver of coldness. Donna's behind was starting to cramp from the hard surface, moving did nothing. Then her giggling started, when Mike realized the problem. It made Mike snicker too, which started a burst of laughing where they couldn't contain themselves.
Honestly they looked like a pair of psychophrenic.
It managed to die out steadily after a good few minutes with only tears left in sight, from the distress or laughter neither could tell.
This time Mike went for the tissues to pull some out for them. Donna appreciatively took one to dab her eyes whilst he wiped his face properly.
The cramp became unbearable enough for her to slide down from the desk, to let her legs support her. Yet she stayed close, leaning against Mike's chair. Plucking and fixing up his mess of short hair was a frank choice for comfort. She did not want to leave him yet, not ever.
If it wasn’t endearing enough, he leaned his cheek on her side, letting her mend the strands freely. She realized there was one more thing to get across.
“You don’t have to ever worry about being alone in this world Mike” A soft nod against her side was enough for her. A small acceptance.
She petted his hair and added. “As for the wedding, don’t worry about it. I will be walking you down”
The man's head moved abruptly away to look up, leaving her side empty and hand stranded of softness. She had expected his perplexity. “But Harvey–”
“Harvey can have Louis walk him down for all I care,” she cut him off immediately. “It’s just as much your day as it is his. You deserve it”
The gaze showed upon her was awestruck, a soft joy and appreciation for the red hair .
“Thank you Donna” he exclaimed earnestly.
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Buried in paperwork, he lost all track of time. By the time he looked up to call upon Donna, he had realized an hour had passed since he sent for Mike.
He let out a groan, deciding it was best to take a break. Walk down and check on what the hell they had tangled themselves in to be gone for so long.
It was certainly late, the craving of curling down in bed together with Mike was too inviting. When found, he would be throwing Donna out, with great appreciation, and get Mike spooned up besides him as soon as possible.
A man had to yearn for his fiance.
Although his wishes sounded one-sided, hearing the roar of laughter coming from the associates room. A smirk illustrated his face walking in, turning into a real smile by them bending over from laughter.
It quickly faded when they both turned around by his footsteps, and Harvey got swiftly alarmed. They were red faced, however laughter wasn’t their only argument. Their white sockets were red, the area swelled up around the eyes.
Still, those big smiles addressing him now, stumped him.
“Are you two okay?” He dared ask.
His question was completely ignored with them giving each other a look, honestly like two teenagers in high school.
“We changed the color of the napkins” Donna spoke up first.
“Well what did the president say?” he asked mockingly. That made them roll their eyes, really, just like hormonal teenagers. Decidingly it was time, where both got up.
Donna came up to kiss him on his cheek. “I expect a big bonus for all the overtime. Good night”
Before walking off she turned one last time. “Mike?”
He waved his hand in response. “Yeah, yeah. I'm fine” The older man guessed Donna was happy with that answer, blew him a kiss and walked off into the empty workplace.
He pulled his attention back to Mike who was stepping towards him now. His blue eyes in the midst of red were piercing into his skin. It concerned him a lot, that maybe he was the reason. He did put a lot of pressure on those files.
“Hey, are you sure you're okay?” He questioned carefully.
Mike beamed at him then, hooking a hand around his neck to pull him down into a soft kis on the lips. Thus the release of the uneasiness.
“Everythings perfect,” he whispered. They stayed there for a moment, in each other's presence and foreheads pressed. “Okay” Harvey muttered. Assuming Mike will tell him when he's ready.
Mike's hand intervened with Harvey's, the soft kiss lingering.
“Hey” Mike uttered. He opened his eyes at that, not remembering when they had closed at all. His scratchy voice, and smell, were enough to put him right to sleep standing. “Mhm” he managed to drag out.
“I was thinking, for the wedding, I want to have some chairs set up in the first row. Empty ones for, you know, my parents, grammy, your dad?” he entrusted while his grip hardened just a little before softening.
Harvey looked at Mike with all his devotion and tenderness, his tone of voice expressing his feelings towards this gorgeous man who was just his.
“That sounds wonderful Mike”