Work Text:
Fushiguro Megumi, had a habit.
A habit which no one knew about, not even Gojo, out of everyone.
A habit which was tucked underneath the sleeves of his dark blue uniform.
A habit which got worse towards the winter months.
A habit which, no matter what, stays hidden.
It first started as something small, something barley there. A cut across his wrist quickly became 2 than 3.
It was supposed to be a one time thing. Just something to get his mind off things, a punishment, if you will, that was all. It quickly became a daily thing. Now, instead of planning to get better, he was planning when to relapse, and how to hide said relapse from Gojo, Itadori, Kugisaki, and everyone else at Jujutsu High. Hell, if Gojo ever found out he'd never hear the end of it.
It was easy to hide, Megumi made sure to never wear short sleeves and to bandage his cuts up properly. If anyone saw the bandages, at least they wouldn't question it. After all, he was a Jujutsu Sorcerer, wounds and bandaids were just part of the job description. Not that he minded, it made it easier to hide his habit from everyone and anyone.
The weather was beginning to get colder, the temperature dropped and Megumi was back to waking up with his window cloaked by condensation which appeared overnight. Megumi loved winter, he wasn't sweating bullets after training and on missions he didn't feel on the verge of dying from heatstroke. He hated it sometimes though, winter depression hit him hard, and it wasn't just him. Curses appeared slightly more frequently around this time of year, the stress of the holiday season, the lack of sunlight, the freezing temperatures, didn't help many people's mental health. So when he got the notice he was being sent onto a solo mission, he wasn't surprised.
He appeared at the mission site, a school, not surprising either. He immediately summoned his demon dogs to sniff out the curse. The curse was reported as a grade two, so not to difficult to handle. He wondered around a bit, demon dogs trailing slightly infront, when one perks up and begins to walk down a hallway. Making his way down the hall, he can hear the curse begin to wail and cry, not a very pleasant noise, but what can he do?
He eventually spots the curse in a classroom and opens the door, alerting the curse, it screams even louder. Divine dogs immediately make a run for it, heading towards the curse and clawing and biting whatever and wherever it can. After crying for about thirty seconds the curse immediately becomes quiet, which concerns Megumi slightly. It's quiet for another few seconds before it speaks up again, but this time it sounds different.
The voice is sweet, it's kind, it's warm, it's what was the comfort in Megumi's unfortunate life. It was Tsumiki's voice. Exactly like her. Megumi couldn't move for a few seconds, hearing her voice after so long, it made him want to scream knowing it wasn't coming from her, and instead, a chunk on the floor. He was about to throw up. He had to kill it and get out of here. He grabbed a weapon he had stored in his shadows and began to slice. With help from the divine dogs it took barley any time at all for the curse to be exorcised. Once it was, he got out of there as quickly as he could.
Now Megumi was here, on the bedroom floor once again. Because, like whenever something bad happened, he resorted to the first thing he could to take his mind off things. That thing being a razorblade hidden in a draw in his desk.
Blood seeped from his cuts, down his wrist and onto the floor. If anyone saw his current position they'd probably assumed he'd died. "RIP Megumi Fushiguro, died from self-inflicted blood loss" would be written on his tombstone, how pathetic would that be? His back against his bed and his head staring at his wrist, he watched the way the blood slowly dripped down. It was calming, in a way. It might sound fucked, but he doesn't care. It was the only thing which provided him ease in a world which, no matter what he did, was always against him. Maybe he deserved it, he wasn't like Itadori, he didn't save everyone like Itadori did. It was his karma.
After a while, he started to feel uncomfortable, the blood began to dry, his neck was starting to ache and it was freezing cold in the dorms. Gojo might be able to afford the world, but he can't afford good heaters, apparently. The thought of moving felt tiring, it was easier just to sit here, stay in this position until he began to rot, or freeze. Either way, he deserved it, right?
His room was silent, the only noise being his breathing. Until, he heard a knock, then two.
Fuck.
He was so screwed, how would he explain this? What if it was Gojo, what would he say?
"Fushiguro?" a voice.
The voice of a certain pink-haired boy.
No, he can't see him like this.
Megumi quickly stood up, bad idea on his part. He became dizzy, felt like he was gonna throw up (from nervousness or dizziness it was unclear.). He quickly sat back down on his bed trying to compose himself as best as possible before light from the hallway began to settle in his room. Looking up, he saw him. Itadori, looking at him with such sadness in his eyes he wanted to scowl, tell him to get out. He looked down at his lap, now refusing to make eye contact with Itadori.
He realised mentally how he looks right now. Blood all over the floor and across his wrist, some even on his clothes. His hair is probably a mess and his eyes red and puffy from earlier crying. He was was a wreck.
Eventually the light from the hallway began to disappear and Megumi heard a soft click, then, footsteps, until Itadori was standing in front of him. Megumi couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with Yuji, not now, not in his current state.
"Fushiguro, look at me" The pink-haired spoke, with such softness in his voice Megumi could feel his guard slipping. He gulped silently, still looking at his lap before Yuji crouches down in front of him and tilts his chin up. Had the scenario been any different Megumi would push him away, the tips of his ears would go pink and he'd be a flustered mess. But right now? He can't bring himself to say a word.
He makes eye contact with Yuji, warm brown eyes stare back at him, they're filled with worry and sadness, Megumi can see it. He wants to cry. Yuji then stands back up and makes his way over to Megumi's bathroom and comes back out with a roll of bandages and a wet towel. He grabs Megumi's arms and starts to clean his cuts so gently, so gently he believes he doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve the kindness and comfort that is Itadori Yuji.
"I'm not gonna ask you why you do it. But I do have one question." Yuji begins to speak. Megumi lets out a little hum as a signal for the boy infront of him to keep speaking. "How long have you been doing, you know.. This. If you don't want to answer thats fine too, I don't mean to pry or anything."
"Since Tsumiki, I guess." Megumi responds weakly. His throat feels tight and his eyes begin to burn. Yuji finishes bandaging him up then turns his attention to the floor to quickly wipe off any dry blood there, then his attentions back at Megumi.
"Does Gojo know?" Yuji asks softly.
"No. I'd prefer to keep it that way." Megumi quickly says. Yuji nods at this then plops himself next to Megumi. The pair sit in silence for a bit before Megumi breaks the silence. "I'm sorry." he begins "I'm sorry you had to see me like.. that.. I never meant for you to find out, I never meant for anyone to find out. I'm so sorry." He feels his eyes start to burn and before he knows it tears begin to role down his cheeks and he lets out a few weak sobs. Yuji pulls Megumi into a hug and the pair stay like that for a few moments before Yuji moves them to be laying down.
After a short while Megumi's sobs begin to slow and his breathing begins to even out. Yuji lets out a breath he didn't even realise he had been holding and keeps his arms around the raven-haired boy, holding him close.
Maybe one day Megumi will tell him why he does this to himself, but for now he's content with the fact Megumi didn't try push him away. And he'll fall asleep thinking about the boy in his arms.