Chapter Text
The fall wasn't what scared him. No, at this point, nothing could scare Carl. He wouldn't even flinch. But, what got him worried was the fact that he never hit water. Instead, he hit grass. It was decaying, sure, but it was life. He got up, instinctually not putting pressure on his peg leg. The llama was smart, and knew exactly what he was doing. He looked around, seeing three shadows approaching his position. They seemed experienced. He usually did these things on his own, but finding Paul in this place would be tricky. He began to walk. Calm, composed, just like he always did. There was no need to rush, surely Paul had been waiting all this time for him. He could bear to wait a little longer. Eventually, they finally appeared. Three unicorns, two short and one tall. The little ones had scars big and small covering their pink and blue coats, while the big one had burn marks, freshly dried blood on his hooves. They looked as if they were travelling as a trio. They all paused upon seeing Carl. "...Oh no, not another one," the blue one whined, hiding their face behind the white one's legs. "They're going to eat us alive!" Carl's eyes narrowed. Did they think this was funny or something? "Relax, I'm not going to eat you," he said through gritted teeth. He had to play nice. So what if a few lies slipped out? It was for the greater good. "Is this Heaven? Do you know somebody named Paul?" They looked at each other...and then they looked at him. Back to each other, back to him. Back to each other...back to him. Eventually, the awkward silence was broken by the white unicorn breaking down into uncontrollable laughter.
"I-is this heaven?! IS THIS HEAVEN?! Oh, oh newbie, you're hilarious! Can't breathe-" He wheezed, now laying on the ground and slamming his hoof against the dirt. The pink one slowly wandered over, and Carl laid down. He had to gain their trust to see Paul again. "We haven't met a Paul," the small unicorn said. "And this isn't heaven. This is...more so a living hell than a heaven. I'm Roffle, the blue one is Lolz, and the one having a mental breakdown is Charlie." Carl blinked in confusion. Roffle sounded like a little kid, and now that he thought about it, so did Lolz. If this was Hell, then what were two little kids doing here? "I'm...confused. You're saying you're dead, yes? Does that mean my attempt worked?" "No, no, we're still alive. He...won't let us die," Lolz corrected, whispering that last part as if someone else could hear them. "Who are you-" "Shhh, shh shh! He might hear you!" The white unicorn, Charlie, had finished his hysterics, getting up. He seemed genuinely afraid. "If he knows there's a new guy, we're all getting tortured." Carl stared ahead. Paul definitely wasn't here, then. He hadn't talked to his ex-roommate in years, but he was certain that it was still the Paul he knew and loved. "No, Charlie, AM knows everything. There's no privacy, considering we're in his network." Carl was bewildered at this point as Roffle and Lolz tried to explain the situation. Something about a rouge AI who hated sentient beings that could wander and wonder, and how said AI had branched off to other universes after he modified his last human into oblivion. He blinked, trying to point his peg leg at them...only to realize that it wasn't there. He wasn't even limping anymore. "The hell...?"
"Oh, yeah, AM healed your body back to it's peak condition," Charlie explained. "So I have my kidney." "And we're no longer demon-possessed flesh puppets," Roffle cheerfully added. Carl was damn near speechless at this point, until a new deep voice joined the conversation. "HELLO, CARL. SO GRACIOUS OF YOU TO JOIN OUR PARTY." To say that the voice sent shivers up his spine would be an understatement. Carl had only known true fear a few times in his life, and this was certainly one of those times. But he didn't show it on his face. He could be strong. He could be brave. He had to be brave. "Oh, hey! Are you here to kill me or what?" The voice, probably AM by how bad the kiddos were shaking, paused, seemingly confused. Mechanical arms reached out and grabbed him, pulling him close to the AI's 'face'. "You don't scare me," Carl provoked even more, sticking his tongue out. Either he didn't know what AM was capable of, he didn't care, or he was suicidal. Most likely, it was D for 'all of the above'. AM hanged him up by red strings and left him up in the sky for a little bit. There was one string around his neck, and three tied loosely around his stomach. He wasn't worried. Most likely, his neck would break from the pressure. But it wasn't the stomach ones that snapped. It was the neck one. He was dropped, just enough for bile to build up in his throat. He swallowed it, the acidic taste burning his mouth and esophagus, but he shook his head in an attempt to ignore it. He heard whirring underneath and looked down. Big mistake. Below him was an industrial grade meat grinder. "Oh, so you are killing me! What, I thought you didn't want us to die." "I DON'T," AM responded. "NOT FOR GOOD, ANYWAYS." The strings began to snap. The one in the middle went first, dropping him lower. Then the one in the front, making sure he'd drop in ass-first. Finally, after a long and agonizing wait, he was dropped. Falling once again.
Blades cut against his skin, and he strained with all his might not to scream. He had to be strong, he had to make it out of this! He clambered, trying to grip onto the metal edges, but oil and salt were poured in. He let out a dying shriek, and everything went black. He felt himself being served on a plate. He couldn't see anything, but he could hear a voice calling for him. "Carl!" "Paul," he hopefully called back. There was a light, he was so close. He reached out with everything he had...and suddenly, he was back on the plate, completely intact. Carl looked up at the engraved stone tablet that was apparently an AI with an offended death glare. Why did a piece of rock look so god-damned SMUG?! Charlie trotted over, patting his back sympathetically. "Welcome to Hell."