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Vroom

Summary:

Sirius finds a flying car in the forest.
Maybe she can help him with his goals.

Written for Marauders crack week 2026!

Notes:

Prompts: Arthur's car, Hogwarts grounds

Work Text:

Vroom.

Padfoot turned around. Surely he had imagined that. 

Vroom.

He listened carefully. It sounded like a car. But he was in the middle of the forbidden forest. How could there be a car here?

Vroooom.

Padfoot started to move towards the sound. Now he could smell the familiar smell of … whatever cars smelled like. It smelled like his motorcycle. It smelled like home. 

Something blue caught his eye. He ran towards it. 

There was indeed a car. A light blue Ford Anglia. In the middle of the forest. Caught in a big bush with black twigs scratching at the metal. The engine was running, like the car was struggling to get loose. Padfoot walked closer but couldn't see a driver.

He transformed into his human form.

Sirius put his hand on the bonnet.

“Are you lost, baby girl?”

The front doors of the light blue car got a little darker, almost as though the car was blushing. Or maybe he was imagining it. He had spent twelve years losing his mind in Azkaban after all.

He reached out and pulled at the twigs around the car. With combined effort, Sirius pulling at the twigs and the car running its engine, the car was freed from the bush. 

Honk. Vroom.

“Ah. No problem. Who wouldn't save a damsel in distress?”

Vroom.

The front door opened.

“Nah, I’m good. I have to stay here on the grounds.”

Vroom Vroom. Honk.

“Well, if you insist. I couldn’t possibly say no to such a lovely lady. Take me on a ride then.”

He stepped into the car and put his hands on the steering wheel. The car purred.

Or maybe he imagined it.

The car started to roll through the forest and then-

“Oh, you've got some tricks up your sleeve!”

The car left the ground and rose above the tree tops.

“You sure know how to impress a man.”

Vroom.

“Oh, don't be shy, Angie. Can I call you that?”

Vroom.

“Oh, actually, you could help me with something. Turn left here please.”

The car turned towards one of the castle towers. 

“Stop here.”

The car came to a stop mid air in front of a closed window. Sirius reached his leg out and kicked the window three times.

Knock knock knock.

After a few seconds the window opened. 

“Evening, love.”

The man in the window blinked and stood in silence, taking in the sight of the escaped prisoner sitting in a flying car outside his office window. 

“You don't have a licence for that.”

“Twelve years of absence and this is how you greet me?”

“Im sorry”, Remus said. “What I meant to say was: What the hell!?”

“Im not a killer if that's what you think. I'm about to become one though.”

At this Remus looked alarmed. “What?”

“Peter Pettigrew. He snitched to Voldemort and framed me, that rat. Oh. I guess we should have seen that coming.”

“Peter is dead.”

“Nooo. Keep up, mate. Do you have that bloody map?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Check out Gryffindor Tower. Harry’s dorm. The readhead-”

“Is Ronald Weasley, and not Peter. Have you lost it completely?”

“Merlin, no- Just check the map!”

Remus sighed and Sirius could see that he pulled out a piece of paper from his desk drawer. And after a while-

“Oh shit.”

“Told you”, Sirius said. “Now get in loser, we're going to kill a rat.”

Remus did not need to be asked twice. 

“Where did you find a flying car?”

“In the forbidden forest.”

“Ah. Of course.”

Sirius tapped the steering wheel with his palm. “Come on now, baby girl, take us to Gryffindor tower.”

Baby girl?”

“Mind your own business.”

Vroom.

The car moved and flew around the castle, stopping outside Gryffindor tower.

“Stop here.”

Vroom. 

“Yeah, we will just be a while.”

Vroom. Honk.

“Yes, a little closer please.”

“Sirius, are you having a conversation with the car?”

“Her name is Angie. Now let's get out here. Do you have your wand? Can you open the window?”

Remus opened the window and they climbed, rather clumsily, through it into the dorm where the third year Gryffindor boys slept.

Lumos.” 

Harrys wand lit up. “Professor Lupin?”

Four more wands lit up.

“It's Sirius Black!” Dean exclaimed.

The five boys screamed and stood up from their beds. 

“Alright kids no need to worry. Story time! Let’s gather around”, Remus raises his hands. 

Sirius transformed into Padfoot and ran towards Ron’s bed. Ron shrieked and jumped to stand on his bed. Padfoot disappeared under it, chasing the chubby brown rat.

“Ron’s rat killed Harry’s parents. Sirius is Harry’s godfather, he’s a nice guy, you all have nothing to fear.”

“He’s lost it Harry!” Ron whined, looking panicked where he stood on his bed. 

Harry just stared at his professor with his mouth hanging open. 

“Peter Pettigrew-” 

“Is your friends rat. No need to panic, we’re taking care of it.”

Crunch.

They all turned to a dark corner of the room. Then something moved, grew bigger, and Sirius was standing there. The tall man walked towards Harry.

“Hello pup. Haven't seen you in a while.”

Harry started up at him, wide eyed and mouth open. Sirius stuck a finger into his mouth and picked a piece of bone from between his teeth. 

“Sirius. You've got a-” Remus gestured on his chin.

Sirius raised his hand and realized he has blood smeared in the corner of his mouth.

“Woops”, he wiped it away with his already filthy coat sleeve. 

Harry turned to look at Remus, still with his mouth handing open.

“He is a bit … I would blame it on twelve years in Azkaban but- Well-” Remus shrugged. “He’s nice once you get to know him.”

“God, Moony, you aged terribly”, Sirius pulled at a strand of Remus hair. “You’re only thirty, how are you already going gray?”

“Thirty-three”, Remus swatted his hand away. “As I was saying, he is not dangerous …” he stopped and turned to look at Sirius. “If you didn't actually kill all those muggles? Please tell me you didn’t do that?”

“Yeah, no, that was Peter”, Sirius said casually. He turned to Harry with a smile. “The rat.”

Traces of said rat was still visible between his teeth.

“The rat was … a man? Human?” Ron said slowly.

“Did he just eat a human!?” Dean exclaimed.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Suppose I just did.”

“Wait. Oh god, Sirius”, Remus sighed and pressed his hand to his forehead. “How are you going to prove your innocence now that Peter is dead?”

Sirius rubbed his neck. “Uh …”

“You never do think, do you?” Remus sounded exhausted. “Feed Snape to the werewolf … Eat Peter … don't tell Remus anything during the war-”

“That's unfair”, Sirius said. “You doubted me too!”

“You started!”

“You sound like an old married couple”, Harry said under his breath.

Remus and Sirius started laughing. 

“Well-”

“We do not have time to go there”, Remus interrupted. “Point is: You're still a wanted man.”

“Oh I've always been a wanted man”, Sirius said and winked to Harry. 

Harry blinked and turned to look at Remus for comfort.

“You-”, Remus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You should get out of here, before someone gets the dementors.”

“Right, Yes”, Sirius nodded and put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry flinched.

“Good to see you Harry. You've grown a lot since last time. I’m glad to be your godfather. If you ever need a place to stay, just … Well, don't owl me, I’m homeless. Owl Moony. But by the state of his robes I would guess he is homeless too.”

“Shut up.”

Vroom.

Sirius looked over his shoulder. “Coming baby girl!”

Harry turned to Remus again. “Professor-”

Remus sighed and looked at Harry.“Yes, Sirius is leaving now, you boys can go back to sleep. See you in class!”

Sirius climbed out the window and turned to Remus.

“You coming?”

Remus blinked. “Me? Where?”

“I dunno.” Sirius shrugged. “I've got twelve years worth of crimes to commit-”

“That's not how that works-”

“We could split them. Do six years worth of crime each-”

Definitely not how it works-”

“-We’ll see where we end up.” Sirius winked.

Remus let out a long sigh. “I've got a job, so no. You can just drop me off at my office. I’ve got class tomorrow morning.”

“Boo, you bore”, Sirius muttered and climbed into the car. “Guess it's just me and you then, Angie!”

Vroom.

“I know, it's better that way anyway.”

Remus climbed into the passenger seat. “You do know that the car cant talk to you, right?”

“Moony.”

“Yes?”

“Can cars fly?”

Remus sighed. “Fair point. Suppose anything is possible.”

“Exactly”, Sirius grinned. “Now off into the sunset we go!”

“You’re supposed to drop me off.”

“Oh, right. Angie?”

The car stopped in front of the window where they had picked up Remus and Remus climbed into his office again. 

“So … Will you owl me?” Remus asked, not ready to say good bye after twelve years of absence.

“Don’t have an owl”, Sirius said. “Or a wand, actually.”

“Oh. I’ll owl you then? No, probably not a good idea with you being on the run and all…”

“I’ll step by when you least expect it”, Sirius winked. 

“No”, Remus says. “Don’t come here to the castle, and stop with the winking.”

Sirius sighed. “Fine. I’ll steal an owl. That will be our first crime.”

Vroom. Honk. 

“I know. I only have good ideas.”

Vroom.

Sirius laughed. “Yeah, totally.”

“Bye Sirius, you need to leave now”, Remus said and waved him off. 

The blue car engine roared again and the car lifted higher in the sky. With a loud honk, the car and it’s black haired passenger drove into the sunset, and lived happily ever after.