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...and before I fall into the dark, I want to drown once more in the venomous pool of your eyes
I cut my breast, I'm reaching in
The one decay
Eating of my aching heart yet it remains the same
—Saint Avangeline, “The Heart That Ate Itself”
***
Shizun, even in death you do everything just to spite me. Even in the afterlife, you remain a snake hidden in the grass. A vindictive, vicious creature. Do you fancy yourself infallible? Be. You. Cursed.
I will find the remnants of your soul, even if I have to dig through every world. Enjoy your pitiful life while you can, because when I find you, your life will be mine. You know, when you died, I thought—good riddance, you bastard. I finally had my revenge. But then I understood—I hadn't gotten revenge for shit. Your debt, Shizun, is far too vast. It cannot be atoned for with a single death. You owe me several of your lives in advance. Several thousand lives.
However, my Shizun is a wicked, cunning creature and detests paying his dues. You brought ruin upon your entire sect, upon the Sect Leader you so adored. Because of you, everyone on Qing Jing Peak perished. Because of you, I was forced to merge the realms. I did everything for you! Are you pleased? Do you appreciate what I have become for you?
But you know what? It brought me no satisfaction. None of it is WHAT I wanted.
Because of you, I had to take hundreds of worthless women as wives, and that is not what I wanted either. Not a single wife is capable of pleasing me. Not one. All of them useless. No one can give me back what I have lost. No one is of any use. Where is my fucking happiness?
Yet, for some dogshit reason, my worthless copy has everything I ever dreamed of. Is that fair? Just? It's fucking unjust. And that bastard is now enjoying Shizun 's body while I, the Emperor of the Three Realms, am forced to skulk like a beaten cur through backwater worlds, searching for even a hint of where your fucking soul is, Shizun. Be proud of yourself.
What? Don't I even deserve a scrap of your filthy soul? Does Shizun value himself so highly? A priceless, mangy little soul!! Where in the hell is it?!
Shizun, you are a bastard and you will be mine, wherever you are now.
When I find you, I will do what I should have done back when I was your disciple.
I will do what you deserve. What I deserve.
You will be... you will be mine. MINE, do you hear me?!!
Who gave you permission to die?! This is so unfair! I wasn't finished with you!
I will take you day after day, until you finally admit that I have become your world.
No, you don't understand. I will take ALL of you. The whole of you. If I must, I will devour you.
And when you finally confess your sins, I will take you again.
Only then will you atone for your guilt. But you will never atone for it. The cup of guilt for a bastard like you has no bottom.
Shizun, I swear it, every particle of your soul and your body will belong to me.
You are my thing. My property.
You are my DESIRE
I always obtain what I desire.
Always.
***
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Shizun, I have found you. Do you understand? I have FOUND you! I searched for so long and I found you. Shizun, have I truly found you? Shizun, rejoice with me—we meet again. You cannot even fathom it, but I have traversed thousands of worlds so that we might meet. I still cannot believe it. Has the search truly been crowned with success?! Sooner or later I would have found you regardless. But I am happy that I have. My vile, precious bastard. I found you. I promised and I fulfilled that promise. I swore I would find you!
I cannot fathom how you managed to get so far away from me. Is your soul somehow special? How did you do it? You simply fucking died in a dungeon in your own urine. It was such a pathetic end—a pity you could not see yourself. Yet your soul fled so far from me. I do not understand how you managed it?
Shizun, look at yourself—you fled—and yet you have once again become a pitiful, crippled, wretched thing. You cannot utter even a single human word. You just mumble something here in your sleep.
Is this also to spite me? Are you that proud? Are you mocking me again?
Fuck, Shizun, I hate you! I found you—and you are a pitiful, dying cripple without consciousness. How did you sink to this?? Your debt to me grows with every day. You had best regain consciousness quickly. Do you hear me?
But I am magnanimous, unlike you, my heartless Shizun. I will not refuse even this version of you. A suspicion crept into my mind—could another me have been here before? Could someone have stolen your soul before I arrived? Or is tangling my path also part of your cunning, cruel plan?
Shizun, stop playing with me. This is a vile game. It sickens me to think that the empty shell drooling before me is my trophy.
Do not even think that I pity you. You look repulsive. Worse than you did in the dungeon. And this is not even a dungeon… It seems the heavens have punished you in my stead, Shizun. But if you wake now, I am prepared to put you back in order. After all, Shizun, I have come to claim you for myself.
Enough sleeping, you bastard!!
***
I am already sick to my stomach of this world. Shizun, how much longer will you lie here unconscious? Your so-called relatives told me you have "Sleeping Beauty" syndrome. I agree that you are "Sleeping," and even that you are a "Beauty," but that does not give you the right, Shizun, to ignore me.
They also said you were born pitiful, wretched, and sickly—barely managed to live twenty years before ending up in this state. I still cannot believe it: Shizun has become LIKE THIS—and I had nothing to do with it!
Bastard, how dare you reduce yourself to such a condition without waiting for me?! You owe ME. Come to your senses and repay your debt, then do with yourself whatever you wish.
No, I will do with you whatever I wish. Wake up, come on!
I raced here across worlds, that fucking Xin Mo drained all my energy, and I found only THIS. Shizun, right now you do not even resemble a human being, let alone your former self. And to this frail, dying body (everyone believes you will not last long) the remnants of your soul are now bound?
I would have laughed heartily, but, Shizun, it is not even funny. No, I lied. It is funny. I laughed so hard tears burst from my eyes. How pathetic you are, Shizun.
But I have already decided—you will be mine regardless. Broken, shattered, conscious, unconscious, piece by piece—you will be mine.
Enough. I am done sitting here. I am taking what I have found. It is time to return.
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***
Shizun. I permit you to laugh. It turned out awkward—awkward indeed. And it is all your fault! It is just... I have no words. You are so pathetic that you cannot even be repaired. I could not do it. No one could. Just how useless is everyone...
The Elders mumbled that your soul would not return to the body, if only because the body is here—and the soul is still there. Shizun, have you become so foolish after death? Did you not see that I was taking your body? Shizun, I held a higher opinion of your intellect.
I look at you—and you are, precisely, a dead doll. Do you enjoy pretending to be dead? Do you enjoy making a fool of me? You may rejoice—you've done it. I feel awful and sick. You will never settle your debt with me.
You and I will have to return to your wretched world. I certainly do not want to—I have already prepared everything for you in my palace—but otherwise, your worthless soul will finally shatter beyond repair. You will not even be able to reincarnate. I have run out of patience to chase you across all the worlds.
Be a dear, Shizun, the road ahead is long. Soon you will see your new (temporary) repulsive world again.
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***
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We are here. I need to think now.
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You absolutely hopeless wretch. Why will you not wake up? Why do you make me look like a madman? How much longer will I speak to myself? Shizun, can you hear me?!!
***
Shizun, you are silent, but that is even for the best. I am not ready to speak with you.
You know, they take fairly decent care of you here. You look better than during our last meeting in your past life. And since you are listening to me so obediently, I will say it once more: Shizun, this is unjust. You scum. You are mine. I have no anger left, and no patience left.
Shizun, even if you cannot answer, know this—you are mine. I have no other choice; I will make use of what I have. So know this: this is NOT—what I wanted. If I had wanted to use your willless body, I would have done so back at the palace. But who the hell knew! You could have at least hinted that you might be different. How was I supposed to understand? I hated you so much. You hated me so much. How did it happen that with that other, you are so other? No. That other cannot be you. Or can you be him? Enough provoking me!
I feel beside myself again. You have achieved what you wanted. Congratulations, Shizun. You have a talent for this.
***
By the way, I have done some digging. Your relatives could not care less about you. NOT AT ALL. They are waiting for you to croak. Ordinary mortals—their conscience will not permit them to smother you with a pillow, but I can see it: they wish you dead. You are a burden. Shizun, even in a new life, everything you have achieved is—NOTHING.
You have only me. And naturally, I will not allow anyone to lay a finger on you. Let them not hope to make use of a pillow. All pillows and Shizun belong to me. I decide when to suffocate. Me. I might just want to, and I will strangle you, Shizun. How sweetly you would gasp for breath in my hands...
Shizun—please—come to your senses—I want to strangle you... but if I do what I want right now, you will not even last until your own funeral. How much longer must I humiliate myself before you!..
You know, it is amusing. When I came here, I told them you are a person dear to me. The confession sounded desperately truthful. I tried very hard. (Yes, I am fucking serious—in desperation!) They believed me and entrusted you to me at once. You clearly have poor relations with them. But, Shizun... you are mine. My precious thing. My body. My Shizun.
Wake up. I am tired of speaking to myself. Where have you gone?
***
When I wept over your bed, they began to console me. It was very pleasant, Shizun. I wept from happiness that I could finally retrieve my belonging, and they consoled me, thinking: I love you.
You have a beautiful sister. She resembles you. She begged me so earnestly not to fret…
But I am fretting. I have told you so much about my suffering, and you, Shizun, you wretch, you scum, you could not care less about the suffering of others. Even your sister, who saw me for the first time in her life, understood how I suffer. But YOU spit on it! On MY suffering! You have always SPIT on others. Bastard! I hate you!
Wake up and answer for EVERYTHING
***
Mortals are strange creatures. I do not remember how to be mortal. Why were you reborn as a mortal? Was it on purpose? Did you know I would come? Was this another one of your plans to spite me? Do not bother answering—I know: you did it on purpose.
But it backfired. Yes, yes, I am gloating, my unfortunate Shizun. It turned out not so splendid, being born mortal. Is that not true?
My pathetic Shizun, where is your gaze full of contempt? Where is that man with the proud bearing and a sword in his hand, who never knelt before anyone? Soon I will start pitying you myself. Do not misunderstand—that is a metaphor. But how pathetic you are.
Tell me honestly: has there been, in your life, even one person who thought of you as much as I have? Has anyone ever lost their mind over you? You drive me out of my mind. I am certain I am your only one. Who else would desire such a creature as you and endure all these humiliations?
***
Shizun, do you know how many wives I have? Close to a thousand. And do you know that, because of you, I took male lovers? YES. Again, all for you. After encountering our wretched copies—may my double, who lives better than I, be cursed—I understood: there is a void in my life. I filled it. I mean sex with men, of course, not your presence in my life. As you have noticed, the PRIMARY missing element of my life I am still trying VERY hard to supply. And you hinder me. Shizun, have a conscience! Ah, what am I saying… Where would Shizun get a conscience, when he has neither heart nor soul? Especially the latter—right, Shizun?
So anyway, I had male lovers, and all were left satisfied (not counting those who tried to resist; they were few—more precisely, one. Guess who). But in the future, you and I will not have such a problem. I treat you well, do I not? You are so docile in this new life. Is that not true? Do not bother answering.
Your lips are cold… Like a corpse. Your body lifeless... Like a corpse. Your eyes closed… Yes, yes, like a corpse. Strange sensations.
But I like it. Do you like it? It seems to me your breathing has quickened.
What are you doing to me? Have you cursed me?
If you have so much strength, move your hips. I am tired of doing everything myself. Shizun, enough of this silence. Enough, I said!
I hate you!
***
Shizun, what tempting little bones you have. You called me a cur, so do not take offense if I gnaw a little.
Shizun, you are so cold. You must work on your shortcomings—embrace me.
Shizun, did you ever think you would lie obediently beside me, agreeing with everything?
Ah, Shizun, Shizun. If you wish to object, come to your senses. No? Must I even object on your behalf? Fine, then just lie here with me a little longer.
***
You know, even when I was a disciple, I never attended to my Shizun so diligently.
Yes, this is my little shameful secret: in my youth, in dreams, I fantasized about how I might serve you. Of course, the illustrious Qing Jing Peak Lord, the Xiu Ya Sword Immortal, was far too lofty to make use of the services of some little beast…
By the way, I take no offense at "that little beast." Now it even amuses me to recall it; and it pains me a little (a pleasant pain)—with what hatred you looked at me then. Or in those days, did you not even deem me worthy of hatred? I do not remember. Your burning, vicious eyes are so well imprinted in my mind, as if I had never seen any other gaze.
***
Do you enjoy the fullness? What does a corpse feel? Can a corpse receive pleasure? I hope you feel everything. But you are not a corpse, after all.
I confess, I imagined our coupling would be more heated, but this is also good. Cold, vile, tinged with scorn—just like you. I scorn you, too.
Mine.
But what a vile word "never" is… They say you will "never" come to your senses.
What fucking illness of the soul is that?
I do not believe it.
***
Shizun, you still lie here, and I am still here with you. I presume you have already accepted that I am not going anywhere. You let me in too deep, my careless Shizun. I cannot leave.
And, of course, I have no intention of waiting for your death—searching for you after death is far too costly.
So do not worry, I already know what to do.
Shizun, do you hear me? I have a plan.
PLAN
Hold on, I am entering.
My plan… No, I cannot tell you, you are not listening anyway, but it will work. I finish what I set out to do. Did I imagine it, or did you just moan? Does it feel good here? Or does it hurt? Too deep?
Shizun, you are also deep within my heart. You cut me to the quick, my precious thorn.
Ah, regarding my heart… I will still have to leave for a short time. While all my thoughts are of you, there is someone else who also demands attention. And you know this: matters of the heart cannot be ignored, or you might end badly. Yes, you know.
Shizun, I will return soon.
***
What is happening here? Who permitted you to do this to me?! I was gone for barely any time at all, and you are already dying?! Do not think it. Do not even think it. I do not know what I will do, but do not even think it.
***
You know, what infuriates me most is that when you come to, you pay no attention to me. Did I not tell you—yes—sometimes you wake—you look with empty eyes and remain silent—your mouth moves but not a sound escapes—are you pretending—
***
Let your soul be at odds with your body… You bitch, you are not even thinking of coming home!!
***
By the way, I read the fairy tale about "Sleeping Beauty." Do you know what it is about? A prince fucked the beauty while she slept a deathless sleep, and she became pregnant. It helped her. What do I think? Fairy tales lie. The method is ineffective.
I promised I would resolve our issue. It is time to begin.
Shizun, I have already procured what is needed. I want to warn you in advance—it may hurt . I do not wish to cause unnecessary pain; your body may not endure it. But you yourself must understand: matters of the soul are not resolved without pain.
Perhaps you will come to your senses even before we finish. Shizun, I am waiting for you.
***
I have been thinking lately about what pain of the soul truly is. An unfeeling person like you would not understand unless pierced through and through, but I will say it nonetheless. Shizun, I am in so much pain.
Prepare yourself. We shall continue where we left off.
By the way, what are your favorite flowers? Your relatives were consulting one another on what to order for your funeral. They are certain you will die soon. Have you been in contact with them?
Do not waste your strength on them. Despite the initial setbacks, I still consider myself more powerful than the achievements of this local, wretched medicine. So, what are your favorites?
***
Shizun, I went to the florist and chose myself, for you never answered me. It will be white lilies. They smell of death, so they said—people love to die surrounded by lilies. An elegant stem, reminiscent of Shizun's grace. But beauty and ugliness walk side by side. If you touch the stamens, a stain of filth remains, one that is difficult to scrub away. Does that sound familiar? Such depraved beauty. My head spins. My lily is so poisonous, yet I cannot stop. Make me feel ill , my lily.
***
Today I slept well. And you, Shizun? Still asleep? I can see for myself—asleep. Perhaps you might tell me not to disturb you? A single word would suffice. You are silent…
Sometimes a sticky sensation washes over me, that I am living with a corpse.
One vile lily in my bed.
As you can see, I no longer ask you to wake.
Let us not waste time and continue what we have begun.
***
You do not speak to me, but I sense that you feel good when I am near. Your body is far better at apologizing.
You reach for me in your sleep. Do you wish to be saved from death? To escape punishment? I can save you. Endure it.
I am even prepared to forgive your misdeeds. Absurd, but… In the end, you are no longer responsible for yourself.
…my beloved lily…
I love your cold lips and your soulless gaze. Before your eyes, it is as if eternity unfolds.
***
Those relatives of yours came by. I was glad to see them. Don't get me wrong—it sets my mind at ease when I see that you have ruined your second life as well, and that no one needs you except me.
They were discussing the funeral. They were choosing a grave according to fengshui. They fear that when you die, you will return from the other side and take them with you. I did not bother to tell them: you did not even return to me. Who do they think they are?
And I did not tell them that you will not die.
***
Shizun, you will have a fine coffin. Last time you angered me so deeply that I had no care for formalities. This time, we shall do everything beautifully. You will die peacefully for all others, and begin a new, clean life.
Shizun, trust me. You will wake. Let us continue.
***
Have you noticed? I have already broken several needles while mastering the technique. Nothing can be hidden from you…
You know, it hurts me, but I endure it. We have already endured so much together. Endure just a little longer.
***
Three petals have bloomed upon your skin, so pleasant to the taste. Your body is very cold, yet still responsive. Shizun, I feel so good with you.
***
I was forced to step away for a time. I missed you terribly. It would never have occurred to me before that Shizun and I are perfectly suited to one another. I wonder—has my worthless copy ever tasted Sleeping Beauty? No, of course not, that failure.
My Shizun, mine alone.
***
The other day, your sister straddled me. I did not want to bother with her. She hung herself around my neck and whined: "Gege, comfort me." Do you think I wanted to comfort her? No. Who will comfort me? I covered her mouth, studying her face. And you know what? I am glad that Shizun is a man.
Your eyelashes quivered—I see you are interested. Then I shall tell you in greater detail. When she burst into sobs immediately afterward, I supported her—sobbed louder than she did: let her see what suffering my dear Shizun inflicts upon me. (Do you understand what kind?! Yes, I gave you all of myself!!) Then we spoke of your funeral and resolved not to see one another again.
***
I have learned of something called psychotherapy. Your sister said I ought to attend, that I would like it. And you know what? I went. An unusual experience. My Shizun never wished to listen to me, but this psychotherapist of yours listened attentively, his back arching. But as soon as he turned his face and opened his mouth, he ruined everything. Anyway, the main thing is Xin Mo was left satisfied. Xin Mo has grown so indiscriminate; it no longer cares with whom, so long as it is not with a soulless creature (you understood of whom I speak; you know, for internal alchemy, it is essential that one's partner not be soulless). And do you know whose fault that is? Of course you know. Of course.
I have told so much of myself. When will you, at last, answer?
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***
White lily petals I lavish upon your skin…
I dedicate these lines... Fuck, to whom else could I dedicate them?
Come here, my sorrowful Shizun, let me embrace you. Did it hurt? I know, I know, it hurt. Endure it, please. You were always so proud and steadfast, unlike your disciple. Our future happiness is worth the pain.
Granted, I have not forgiven you, but I am waiting for you.
***
She called again and sobbed into the receiver. I told her that in another world, people become flowers after death. She fell silent.
By the way, did I mention that you have changed? You resemble a human less and less, and a flower more and more. I am warning you. A body cannot remain without a soul forever.
***
She went to yet another charlatan. That wiseacre fancied himself a talent and wanted to divine your fate by your date of birth. Do you know what he said? It is karma. Not a bad attempt. I nodded. Yet she would not be consoled. Tomorrow they will come to us.
Another petal has unfurled. I cannot stop looking.
The needles yield to me far better now. Rely upon me—the flower shall be perfect.
***
Shizun, he lied, did he not? You cannot be here, can you? You cannot hear and feel everything, can you? This cannot be true.
Again, this cursed illness of the soul. Will someone finally explain to me what an illness of the soul is? What illness of the soul can there be when I am beside you? This is all wrong. This is all a vile dream. Soon, you and I shall both awaken.
***
Why were you reborn a mortal? Could it truly be karma?
***
My pale Shizun, you will like the lilies. The bud has already fully bloomed. Endure it—only the stem remains.
***
Cold, like the waters of early spring, and so searing when you look at me. I miss your gaze so terribly. Are you watching now?
Watch as my creation blossoms upon your tender skin. Our karma.
***
Lately, I cannot fall asleep. I imagine our next life.
…when I wake in the middle of the night and look at the body beside me, I do not immediately recall that it is you. Is this mute, sick body truly yours?
***
I have not told you, but I know your secret: while I sleep, you wake and walk about the house. You always choose your moment so carefully. You wait until I have utterly exhausted myself and fallen into a slumber deeper than usual. And you always manage to return to bed an instant before I wake. After your nocturnal wanderings, I catch your reflection in the mirrors for a long time afterward.
Illness of the soul… it seems to me your illness is spreading.
***
Last night, you rose again. But this time, you erred: I was not asleep. Yet I did not betray myself—my heart stilled—I simply watched you.
***
I have not left the house in a long while—I fear you will leave while I am gone. I see ever more proof that you are not asleep. I see your shadow behind me. I hear your laughter. I see how your lips curl in arrogant disdain.
***
They say you have only a few days left. Pay them no mind: mortals are not given to know the secrets of immortals.
But… it is true that we draw near to completion. I am greatly agitated. Do you see? My line has trembled.
***
Please, do not hurry me. If I make a mistake, everything could be ruined. You do not wish to ruin everything again, do you?
***
I feel so ill, Shizun. I fear making an error with the stroke. Please, do not look at me now. Your gaze distracts me.
***
The stem is finished. Shizun, soon everything will be over.
***
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***
Shizun, you came to your senses after all. I was so happy in that moment. But in the next… your heart stopped.
Illness of the soul, after all?
At your celebration, you were irresistible. I shall never forget it: in the spacious hall, a black wooden dais; upon the dais, a massive lacquered coffin; within, on black velvet, you lie in serene repose, long tresses streaming over the velvet lining. You are in white, like an innocent bud. All around, white lilies breathe their fragrance, white irises, white orchids… your garden. The scent of flowers is so thick it drowns out the smell of incense and cloying sweetness.
I can think only of how you will return. You do know that when the body dies, the soul returns to the body? You do know? You must return. I did everything correctly. You must, Shizun, you must return. I forgive you for not returning sooner, but now you must return. Look—everyone is waiting.
Please, come back.
***
The farewell ceremony lasted all day, but I have waited long already. I can wait a little longer. Amusing, how people who took no interest in you before now pretend they care.
***
Shizun, we must set everything right. I want to set everything right. We can do it.
***
My head spins. I must gather my thoughts. Remember: you must return. Fear nothing. Follow the scent of lilies. I will meet you.
***
I barely closed my eyes, yet half a day has already passed—evening has fallen. Thank the gods—only half a day. Everyone has gone. I shoved that importunate woman out last. I had to take control of her again. She will trouble us no more.
Shizun, this will be our special night. Do you know why the coffin is so large? Move over, Shizun—there is room enough here for a disrespectful disciple as well.
***
The night has passed. The soul has not returned. Shizun, why has it not returned? Why has it not returned? Has your soul lost its way? I did everything as I ought. Why has it not returned? It was supposed to return. I will stay here with you until you come back to me.
***
Today is the second night. Your body retains the warmth of life. It is ready to receive your soul at any moment. I am waiting for you. Please, come.
***
I fell asleep for a short while, but you… You still have not returned. Did I err somewhere? No, I could not have erred.
***
Third night. I look at you, and a question surfaces in my mind: what if this is not you? What if this is not the reincarnation of my Shizun, but a person entirely unknown to me? At the thought that I could have been so mistaken, everything blurs before my eyes. But no. I could not have been mistaken.
Could I?
***
My white lily, wake…
***
My lily is just as vicious and depraved as the one who gave it life. Shizun, how cruel you are……………………………
***
Your body is limp, your eyes soulless. The flower is silent. I set our coffin aflame. I watched the fire for a long time, and a thought came to me—that the fire in this world is no different from our own. In the fire, I saw an endless abyss. I watched as everything burned, and I saw myself falling into the abyss. This time, we fell together.
***
I moved us to a place where no one will disturb us. I will have to make alterations to the ritual—to aid your soul. You know the needles well. Please, endure it one last time. They will enter your bones. I will stitch them through and through. Otherwise, it seems your soul cannot find its way back.
***
Your scream… so desperate... Does it still hurt you? But you are dead. How can you scream?
***
The fourth night was the coldest. I do not wish to remember it.
***
Forgive me. I am so clumsy. My hands tremble. But what else remains? The demonic lily has not bloomed. Time is running out. I have poured in too much—it feels as though my own soul is also coming apart.
***
Say nothing. May I simply embrace you?
***
Today is the sixth day. I have finished. I feel utterly drained. Your soul is so close. At last, you can return.
***
The last night.
Why is it so empty?
***
I am alone. How unbearable.
***
I have stopped counting the days. It is meaningless. Everything is meaningless.
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***
Shizun, wake up, please. Let us forget this nightmare.
Shizun, when I close my eyes, I hear your voice. I hear you cursing me. I hear you calling me. Is this love?
I wanted you to return. I did everything for you—everything I could, and what I could not, I did anyway.
I have understood, at last: you are calling me to you. I hear you. I am so happy.
Your soul is already here. I can feel it.
I am coming.
Epilogue
They say that in the magnificent palace of the Emperor of the Three Realms, there is a garden of terrifying beauty. They say that in this garden, one may lose one's mind. They say that the Emperor of the Three Realms set out on a long journey, and when he returned, he settled within the garden and never left it again.
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In the snow-covered garden, two men danced: one, beautiful as a white porcelain doll, carefully held a snow-dusted white lily in his hand. The second, in a black cloak as though embraced by shadow, pressed passionately against his waist, kissing his neck. Their long, unbound hair swept the earth, scattering to the sides from their endless dance.
The man in black whispered something tender into his partner's thick hair, while the other gazed indifferently at the lily.
"Shizun. Look at me." Luo Binghe reached toward the lily, watching Shen Jiu, and touched the petals.
The lily petals quivered. Then Shen Jiu obediently raised his head. In his pupils were reflected myriads of white buds. Lilies white as snow bloomed, withered, and bloomed anew.
"Shizun." Luo Binghe stroked his cheek. He saw his smile.
Shen Jiu extended his hand to him, and Luo Binghe pressed it to his chest. They understood one another without words. They continued to dance.
Snow-white blossoms carpeted the earth. A deathly stillness reigned in the garden, and only the hot breath of a man upon petal-silk skin betrayed that someone living was here.
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