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Summary:

charles
@max kys

max
that’s how you treat your best friend?
wow
just wow
i hope your car won’t start ❤️

george
you look pretty bby ❤️

max
thx princess

lando
hell nah
no pda in chat
 

sequel to ain't it fun

Notes:

i had so much fun writing the first part that i wrote a sequel

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

RETIREMENT WASN’T REAL? MAX VERSTAPPEN SPOTTED BACK IN THE PADDOCK — AND ONE DRIVER LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY HAPPY

by totallyvalidmediaoutlet.com

Recently retired four-time World Champion Max Verstappen has been spotted once again in the Formula 1 paddock, prompting immediate confusion, excitement, and at least three minor incidents in hospitality suites.

Verstappen arrived at Silverstone on Friday morning wearing a Mercedes cap, holding a Red Bull can, and looking “unreasonably relaxed for someone who is technically retired.” However, unlike previous sightings, one reaction stood out. Current Mercedes driver George Russell was seen smiling.

“He saw Max, and his whole face just changed,” one insider said. “Like… genuinely happy. It was disturbing in a different way.”

Footage shows Russell walking over immediately, greeting Verstappen with what witnesses described as “a completely unprofessional level of affection for a man who is not on the grid.”




fenzoerrari
ok why is george smiling like THAT

 

versatanis
HE GOT HIS MAN BACK 😭😭

 

saintz
he is wearing mercedes merch 😭😭someone check on toto

 

ruzzells
george is glowing??????
ruzzells
someone check if this is legal

 

redballs
TRAITOR (AFFECTIONATE)




f1 grid

charles
@max kys

max
that’s how you treat your best friend?
wow
just wow
i hope your car won’t start ❤️

george
you look pretty bby ❤️

max
thx princess

lando 
hell nah
no pda in chat

alex
CHILDREN
THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN

kimi 
SHUT UP ALEX
I’M VERY HAPPY
mama and papa back together gonna cry

isack
mate…

kimi
YOU’RE JUST A HATER ALL YOU DO IS HATE

max
hi isack ❤️

isack
MAX PLEASE COME BACK WE NEED YOU
YOU LEFT ME IN RED BULL ALL ALONE
I MISS YOU

arvid 
?????

liam
bitch

charles 
look max
your baby bulls are arguing
my dear ollie would never do that

max
yeah bc ferrari doesn’t have any other juniors

charles and two others disliked this message

arvid
BURN

fernando
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

kimi 
isack fuck off
i’m the only child
i’m gonna crash into you

isack
bitch

george
KIMI

kimi
I’M SORRY

isack
i’m gonna crash into you first

max
kids, there’s no need to argue
isack i’m gonna visit later ❤️

isack and two others liked this message




max verstappen posted a new story 

[news outlet headline reposted. RETIRED FOUR-TIME WORLD CHAMPION CONFIRMED and FULL-TIME PADDOCK BOYFRIEND.]

fake news, I’m part-time




MAX VERSTAPPEN SPOTTED IN RED BULL GARAGE — ISACK HADJAR CELEBRATES, KIMI ANTONELLI DECLARES EMOTIONAL WAR

by totallyvalidmediaoutlet.com

 

Formula 1 was thrown into yet another mild crisis on Saturday morning after retired four-time World Champion Max Verstappen was spotted inside the Red Bull Racing garage at Silverstone.

Dressed in casual clothing, sunglasses still on indoors, and carrying what appeared to be someone else’s pass, Verstappen walked in like he had never left.

Engineers reportedly froze. One dropped a headset. Another simply said, “Oh no, he’s back emotionally.”

Most notably, rookie driver Isack Hadjar reacted with immediate joy.

“He literally ran over,” said one team member. “Like full sprint. No hesitation. No professionalism. Just happiness.”

Footage shows Hadjar attaching himself to Verstappen’s side within seconds, repeatedly asking if he was “staying this time.”

Verstappen reportedly replied: “maybe.”

Which caused both celebration and panic.



KIMI ANTONELLI RESPONDS VERY BADLY

Across the paddock, Mercedes driver Kimi Antonelli did not take the news well.

Sources say he saw the footage, paused for three seconds, and then opened the group chat.

What followed can only be described as emotional escalation.




f1 grid

kimi 
HE’S NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE
why is isack HUGGING HIM LIKE THAT
this is favoritism
i am being replaced emotionally AND physically

isack
I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG

kimi
YOU ARE CHEERING TOO LOUD

isack
HE CAME TO SEE ME

kimi
NO HE CAME TO SEE RED BULL

isack
SAME THING

kimi
NO IT IS NOT THE SAME THING

max
hi guys ❤️

kimi
NO

isack
MAX ARE YOU STAYING

max
idk yet

kimi
I HATE THIS PLACE

isack 
HE SAID IDK YET THAT’S POSITIVE

kimi
THAT IS LITERALLY NOTHING

george
kimi breathe

kimi 
I AM BREATHING BUT IT IS NOT HELPING

charles 
this is why i don’t open my phone anymore

lando 
kimi is having a breakdown again

kimi 
I AM NOT HAVING A BREAKDOWN I AM HAVING A NORMAL REACTION

alex 
this is the same thing

kimi
ALEX I WILL FIND YOU

isack 
kimi stop threatening people

kimi
I AM NOT THREATENING I AM EXPRESSING FUTURE POSSIBILITIES

max 
isack you grew taller

isack
I DID NOT I AM THE SAME HEIGHT

kimi
STOP 

max
i’m just visiting 

kimi 
YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT

isack
can we go to a dinner together later
you can bring george

george 
thanks?

max
yes

kimi
NO
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I HAVE STRATEGY MEETING TODAY

isack
so?

kimi 
SO I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES

isack
you have jealousy

kimi
I HAVE A JOB

max
kimi you sound stressed

kimi 
I AM FINE

george
he’s not fine

kimi
GEORGE DON’T START TOO

george
just saying

kimi 
I HATE ALL OF YOU

charles
same




RED BULL ENGINEERING NOTES

  • Verstappen presence increased morale by 400%



PADDOCK INSIDER REPORT
by totallyvalidmediaoutlet.com

 

One engineer summarized the situation best:

“It’s like Max retired from driving, but not from the emotional damage.”

Meanwhile, Verstappen was later seen leaving the garage with Hadjar still following him, while Kimi Antonelli reportedly stared at the wall in silence for 12 full minutes. 





f1 grid 

max
guys good luck in qualifying ❤️
hope you all do well

george
thanks babe

charles
thx

oscar
thank you

isack
me and arvid are saying thanks 

max
not you charles

kimi
thank you parent 1

george
???
you’re telling me i’m number 2???

kimi
it’s not like that

lewis
happened to me once
you raise them, you love them, and then they tell you straight to your face they prefer #him

george
WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS UP
I TOLD YOU I’M SORRY LEWIS

lewis
it’s fine really
nothing like being replaced by the devil you introduced them to

fernando
not straight 

lewis
fernando i am going to end you

max
HAHAHAHAHA GEORGE
so you do like britney huh 🤣

lando
loser

alex
i’m actually crying 😭

george
CAN YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP
WE HAVE QUALI IN ONE HOUR

carlos
alex is on the floor
james is going to kill me
LILY is going to kill me

oscar
rip
we won’t miss you

lando 
oscar be nice 

oscar
ok. 
sorry carlos

franco
interesting




lewis hamilton 
children bring the greatest joy and the deepest pain. 

↳george russell
I APOLOGIZED 



fernando alonso
my son would never do that do me 

↳gabriel bortoleto 
love you dad  



leclerzka 

max comes back for ONE weekend and the entire paddock descends into madness




QUALIFYING AFTERMATH
by totallyvalidmediaoutlet.com

 

Following Russell’s pole position, Verstappen was seen entering parc fermé and congratulating him in a manner described by witnesses as “deeply unnecessary for public viewing.”

“They were standing too close,” one source said. “Then closer.”

Footage appears to show Verstappen placing his hands on Russell’s face before speaking to him, after which Russell reportedly “lost all ability to form coherent sentences.”

Another witness added: “I think he forgot where he was. At one point he just said ‘yeah’ three times and walked into a camera operator.”




f1 grid

charles
can you guys be less disgusting??

max
HOMOPHOBE 🫵🫵🫵

george
HOMOPHOBE 🫵🫵🫵

lewis
charles….
im not mad
just disappointed

charles
IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC

kimi
HOMOPHOBE 🫵🫵🫵

isack
HOMOPHOBE 🫵🫵🫵

lewis
seb is going to be so disappointed 

charles 
SEB DOESN’T NEED TO BE INVOLVED 
IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND
LEWIS YOU KNOW THAT
YOU KNOW MY BOYFRIEND

franco
everyone on the grid is bisexual at this point

oscar
what?????

lando
WHAT???
CARLOS DID YOU FINALLY ASKED HIM OUT???
AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME????
IM SO OFFENDED 

carlos
WHAT IS HAPPENING

alex
lando read the room

lando
NO I WILL NOT READ THE ROOM

oscar
this is not about you

lando
IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT ME

pierre
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

max
HAHAHAHAHAHA CHARLIE
georgie you looked so handsome today btw

george
im at WORK

max
you kissed me in parc fermé

george
THAT WAS PRIVATE

alex
it was on 4 different camera angles

charles
i hate all of you

lewis
no you don’t

charles
you’re right
but i really want to

max
you just jealous that i can kiss my boyfriend in the paddock

charles
IM NOT
CARLOS IF I GET A PODIUM TOMORROW IM GOING TO KISS YOU IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA

carlos
bebe calm down please

gabi
yachtgate walked so whatever THIS is could run

lando
CHARLES.
CARLOS.
EXPLAIN.

charles
no

max
EXPLAIN ❤️

george
don’t encourage him

max
i support transparency

george
you are the least transparent person i’ve ever met

max
i literally announced i love you on main

george
THAT WAS NOT TRANSPARENCY THAT WAS A CRISIS

max
i can kiss it better

oscar
please don’t

fernando
i have experience with rivals

lewis
WE KNOW
I WAS THERE
I TRIED TO FORGET
YOU AND MARK TRYING TO MERGE INTO ONE PERSON
BUT I CAN’T
I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES

fernando
it builds character

lewis
it builds trauma

liam
lobotomy is starting to sound like a viable strategy

fernando
like i said
i have experience with rivals

oscar
my dad???
my dad???
FERNANDO????
LEWIS I HATE YOU SO MUCH
WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THIS
FGJVDKLSHLWIEEWRYCBXMMB DAVDSFHILDSFDSFVDSJ

alex
we broke oscar
lando do something

lando
what do you want me to do

alex
idk
kiss him maybe??
might help

lando
alex………
he is actively screaming
there is no saving him
anyone want to be my teammate

max
hi

lando
no
absolutely not you

carlos
just to clarify
yes me and charles are together 

max
🎉🎉🎉🎉

kimi
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

ollie
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
FINALLY
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO KEEP IT SECRET
THIS WAS TAKING YEARS OFF MY LIFE

kimi
YOU KNEW????
AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME
SEI UN FOTTUTO IDIOTA
TI ODIO COSÌ TANTO
BUGIARDO
TRADITORE

charles
SMETTILA DI INSULTARE MIO FIGLIO

kimi
VAFFANCULO CHARLES
I LITERALLY COMMITTED FRAUD WITH YOU AND YOU STILL KEPT SECRETS

ollie
kimi im sorry 😭

kimi
TOO LATE

kimi
I HAVE MOVED ON
gabi is my best friend now

gabi
i accept this role with honour

ollie
wait what

kimi
sorry babe
you had your chance

george
babe???
want to tell us something kimi??

kimi
no.
not anymore. 

lewis
this is why i stopped adopting drivers emotionally

fernando
rookie mistake

lewis
I WAS NOT ASKING FOR A MENTORSHIP RIGHT NOW

lewis
I am leaving 

fernando
you will be back

lewis
I will not

fernando
see you soon



POST-RACE CHAOS: RUSSELL WINS — BUT PADDOCK ATTENTION REMAINS ELSEWHERE
by totallyvalidmediaoutlet.com

Following a dominant victory from George Russell, the Silverstone paddock descended into what multiple insiders have described as “a complete and irreversible loss of professionalism.”

Russell secured P1 after a controlled race, finishing ahead of Oscar Piastri in P2 and Charles Leclerc in P3.

However, attention quickly shifted away from the podium and onto parc fermé, where recently retired Max Verstappen once again made an appearance.

Witnesses report that Verstappen entered parc fermé “like he still worked there,” walking directly toward Russell before pulling him into what has been described as “a celebratory moment that escalated beyond what would be considered reasonable.”

“At first it was just a hug,” one source said. “Then it was… not just a hug.”

Footage shows Russell attempting to say something to the media immediately after, before visibly buffering mid-sentence and walking in the wrong direction.

Mercedes has declined to comment. The FIA briefly considered intervening, then decided against “getting involved in whatever that is.” Mercedes Team Principal Toto Wolff “looked like a man re-evaluating every life choice that led him to this exact moment,” one insider said.



f1 grid

george
i would like everyone to be normal for five minutes

max
no ❤️

lando
HE DID IT
IN 4K

charles
IN FRONT OF GOD AND THE FIA

kimi
I DROPPED MY HELMET

alex
toto just walked past me and didn’t react when i said hi

lewis
he just texted me “why”

fernando
valid question

george
I WON THE RACE

lando
AND LOST YOUR DIGNITY

lewis
he called me
i didn’t answer

fernando
coward

lewis
self preservation

charles
i got a podium and nobody cares

carlos
i care ❤️

charles
thank you cheri
i’m kissing you next time

carlos
please warn me first

lando
NO
DO NOT WARN HIM
I WANT TO SEE IT LIVE



verstappnus
max verstappen retired just to become a full-time paddock menace

 

papayabros
oscar: p2
also oscar: third wheel in a relationship he did not consent to

 

scuderia ferrari
P3 for charles 👏

↳charles leclerc
grazie ❤️

↳carlos sainz
proud of you

1655enjoyer
KISS HIM

charles leclerc
don’t tempt me

carlos sainz
charles no

 

[photo: post-race, George holding the trophy, still in race suit, while Max is sitting on the pit wall beside him, leaning into his shoulder with a smile. George is mid-laugh, looking down at him, both completely unaware of the camera.]
liked by George Russell and 21.37M other

max verstappen mine




Notes:

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