Chapter Text
Andrea didn't remember much after the battle.
She remembered finding Bodhi, the feeling of his hands on her arms.
She remembered seeing Teine and Isrr flying overhead.
She remembered running through the hallway, turning corners quickly.
She was in Central Issue, giving a pair of black pants to a Flier who sent her a glare at the colour. "It's this or your boxers," she told him apologetically.
Then Vince was collapsing at her feet. There were burns across his skin. She told someone the same.
Then she was tying a rope around someone's arm.
Then she was trying to give someone else CPR. She wasn't sure why. Just that his heart wasn't beating and she had taken a First Aid course back home. She knew this. She knew this. She could do this. She checked his airways, blew into her mouth and started compressions again. 30 compressions then repeat. The Rider under her jolted. Andrea turned him away so he could throw up and not choke on it. A Healer came forward and took the Rider away. Andrea looked around.
What next?
"Andrea?" someone asked. She looked around, trying to find familiar faces. Someone who had said her name like it was some kind of mystery. Who-there.
Zay. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was mussed. He was watching her like she was a rabid animal.
No. Not here. She couldn't do this here.
She turned but stopped. She... she was in the infirmary. Everyone was screaming and dying and bleeding. When did she get here?
"Andrea?"
"I don't remember how I got here," she admitted.
Hands were turning her around. They were watching her carefully. Zay was eyeing her. "How long have you been going?" he asked.
She blinked. When... "I don't remember."
"Claim the rest, Warrior," Isrr told her. His voice was so far... "You have fought long and hard. Long enough and hard enough."
Zay sighed. "Let's go find your man."
Andrea nodded and looked down at her hands. When had she taken her jacket off? Oh, it wasn't. The sleeves were just pulled up. But when did she get the blood on her hands? And why was the floor moving so much?
"Andrea?"
Aaric. His voice was so close. Where was he? His green eyes were suddenly in front of her. He was holding her. "Andrea. Riptide," he breathed. "What happened?"
"I-I don't remember what happened," she whispered. "I don't know how I got this blood on my hands. I don't remember."
"According to the Healers she's been running on adrenaline for almost nine hours," Zay's voice reported. His voice was so far away.
"Riptide," Aaric said. "Let's go get you cleaned up, okay? Then we can both go to bed."
She didn't remember nodding but Aaric was moving her. She did remember the walk through the halls, though she couldn't understand what Aaric was saying to her. People rushed past and others carried bundled of various items. She didn't remember what they were saying either.
Isrr? she asked. Why do you sound so far away?
"I am hunting venin with the Stoney One," Isrr responded. "Hold fast, Warrior. I shall be back soon."
Aaric opened the door to a chamber. Why was it-oh. This was her old room. This was where she stayed when she was in Basgiath. When was a Navarre cadet.
He toed open the washing room and led her to the sink. He started the water and brought her hands to the sink. He washed away the blood gently.
She looked up at him. "You aren't mad at me?"
He looked at her confused. "Why would I be?"
"Everyone else is," she breathed. "I knew about the General. Violet, Mira, Bodhi-"
"Sloane isn't."
"If Sloane knew what I knew she would be too," she stated. "I called for her. I almost forced her to kill-"
"Stop," Aaric told her. He cupped her face even though his hands were stained as well. Her cheeks were wet. "Andrea. You knew what happened. You knew what needed to be done. You knew how much it would hurt but you did it anyway. You didn't stop because you wanted to save lives. You wanted to help."
Andrea took a breath. "Lilith is dead. Violet hates me. The only reason Mira didn't kill me was because our lives are tied. I don't even know if Xaden is alive." She placed a hand on her collarbone. "I can feel her Aaric. She's looking for a fight so she can win. She's devastated. Destroyed. No amount of layers of rock I put up can block it out."
Aaric sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. "What do you need from me right now, Riptide?"
She closed her eyes as tears spilled out. She knew what her mind wanted her to say; that she needed a break, that she should push him away because she didn't deserve him.
"I need you to hold me," she whispered. "Tell me I'm not a horrible person for not saying anything. That I'm still a good person even though I still don't feel like one."
Aaric wrapped his hands around her shoulders and held her. She cried against his chest. He laid her down on the bed, he removed her boots then his and laid beside her.
She was exhausted. She was out in a minute.
She was woken up nearly hours later. By Violet knocking at the door. She hid by the door's shadows. Aaric sat up in bed, watching them.
"You knew," Violet choked out. "You knew. Sawyer. My mother. Xaden."
Andrea nodded. "I knew."
"You tried to tell me," Violet hugged her arms around herself. "I... I didn't understand."
"I didn't want you to," Andrea whispered.
"Why not?" Violet begged.
"Because it wouldn't have changed anything," she admitted. "Both of them still would've done what they did, even if you knew."
Violet closed her eyes. "I hate that you're right."
"So am I."
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Mira seemed content to knock her on her back. If it was a fight she needed, then it was a fight she would get. But Andrea was still a first year, despite all the gripe Mira first said about it. Andrea was a first year and Mira was a seasoned army captain with years of training and practice behind her.
It meant Andrea was being knocked out, off and on more than she landed a single punch.
It wasn't a good system.
At least she was getting her anger out.
"All done?" Mira asked.
Andrea ran her tongue over the teeth that felt like they were in a different position before the punch landed. She pushed herself up and shakingly got to her feet.
Mira kicked her in the stomach. Andrea backed up and raised her hands once more. Mira looked at her for a second before throwing another punch. Andrea grabbed her arm, turned away and rolled.
They rolled off the matt, with Andrea still holding her arm and her bent foot against the older woman's neck.
"How long you been wanting to pull that one out?" Mira grunted.
"Few weeks," Andrea admitted.
Mira brought her other leg up and wrapped it around Andrea's head before they were rolling again. Mira pressed her face into the wooden floor.
"If we had blades this fight would have been over in five minutes," Mira stated.
Andrea moved her head so she could speak. "If we fought with blades I would've been dead before this fight began," she pointed out.
Mira shoved her before she stood and paced back onto the mat. She glared down at Andrea as the younger woman stood up again. "You were just letting me get my anger out," Mira observed.
Andrea spit the blood from her mouth. "Well duh. In what universe do I ever beat you in a fight? Not mine and certainly not yours."
"So you've just been letting me win?" Mira challenged.
"Oh no, I've actually been fighting," she stated as she joined Mira on the mat again. "But I've just accepted that I'm never gonna beat you. Had you on your back for a second though."
Mira scoffed and started sheathing her blades. "A second."
"A second is plenty of time." Andrea started doing the same.
Mira stopped and looked over at her. "You aren't gonna ask me how I'm doing?"
Andrea shook her head. "Don't need to. I can feel it, remember?"
Mira huffed. It reminded her of Isrr. "Any other emotions of mine you wanna point out?"
Andrea ran the fingers over the alloy knife. "You don't hate me. You're not mad at me. Even though you should be."
Mira watched her sheath the last of her knives. It had been a long week since the battle. Parts of it Andrea didn't remember. Andrea avoided Violet as much as she could. She avoided Mira as much as she could. She hadn't seen Xaden either, and Bodhi was an absence she was duly aware of.
Andrea stuck to shadows and corners. Like Anika had. It was safer from everyone's eyes and hate.
"Heard the Senarium is coming in," Mira stated.
Andrea nodded. "Central Issue started stocking up their rooms. Silks and linens and everything else."
Mira huffed. "None of them ever earned those medals they wear like a decoration." She leaned down slightly. "Are politicians just as crooked in your world?"
Andrea scoffed. "More. With no threat of magical world eating conquerors, they think themselves the kings of the world. Makes me wanna chuck a tomato at every poster with every fake smile I see. Knives aren't exactly a welcome sight in my world."
Mira eyed her before straightening again. "I have an assignment for checking on the wards in Aretia. I leave in two days. The Senarium arrives in three. Wanna get out of here?"
Andrea looked up at her. Basgiath was a chokehold on her, even before they left for Aretia. It was always like this when she was Sierra. Stone wasn't good for her. She needed the fresh air. She needed her dragon. She needed the wind and the water. She needed to be wild. For a breath at least. She might be missing the start of Onyx Storm, but she found she didn't really care.
"Absolutely."