Archive of Our Own

Xiao sent the letter three days before his birthday.

This had become a comfortable tradition. He wrote out two copies, one for Lumine and one to keep for himself. This was the closest he could bring himself to that indulgent hobby that Rex Lapis had suggested for him: journaling. As if he needed to waste ink, paper, and time on recording all of his journeys and passing emotions.

Ordinarily, he prepared these letters further in advance. He had impressed upon the courier the urgency of reaching Dornman Port by the seventeenth of the month. He knew only that Lumine had returned there recently, after the Wild Hunt battles in Nod-Krai. 

This was information he gathered by happenstance, when Yelan told him of a handful of suspicious newcomers to watch for. Eyes and ears from a cat-eyed bitch in Nod-Krai, she had said. When Yelan had made some off-hand comment about that woman earning the Traveler's trust, Xiao perked up and asked, What have you heard about the Traveler recently?

But this year, he had been uncertain of exactly what to say. He hemmed and hesitated over it for days -- until early one morning when he saw a wounded bird, limping along the eaves of Wangshu Inn. 

It wanted to follow the other finches into a little hole they had made. Xiao had taken notice of this nesting place long ago. The birds had made their home at the highest peak of the rooftop, where they had a fine shelter among the rafters and away from human occupants. He did not point it out to the innkeeper, because he liked to sit there unnoticed, to watch the birds come and go.

Yet this one could only linger outside, with no companions beside it. Just a little bird, with an injured wing held tight to its body.

That very morning, he penned the letter without hesitation or self-criticism. He was becoming better at opening up, as Rex Lapis insisted that it was good to trust his friends.

As usual, Rex Lapis missed the point. He found socialization too effortless to grasp why Xiao avoided it so urgently. Most people were guaranteed to die, from weakness or age or both. So much effort expended, only for guaranteed pain. This was why Xiao did not widen his social circle beyond the archon and the adepti -- until Lumine entered his life, like a bright star.

He was pleased that morning, sending the letter off. A plain envelope with no return address, only the character for a Xiao flute. (This, for reasons inexplicable to him, felt safer and wiser than his own name.) He left his own copy folded upon his desk.

For the rest of that day, he kept a tight rotation around Wangshu Inn, so that he could check on that bird, once an hour or so. Any more frequent visit left him nervous that his karma might negatively affect its healing. 

Every hour, he appeared effortlessly upon the roof and squatted down, so that his size would not frighten it. Soon, the bird came to view him as the Large Creature That Brought Seeds and looked attentively to his arrival.

He liked that. It made him smile, private and pleased.

That evening, when the bird pecked at its dinner, he told it softly, "Don't worry. Even if the others leave, I will not leave you."

Xiao went to his own room, to deposit his little bag of birdseed. He had no thoughts beyond his plans to stay near the footpath through Dihua Marsh, in case any travelers became lost in the growing dark. He was so lost in his mind that he startled when he opened his door and found Rex Lapis sitting at his desk, reading his letter.

In the privacy of this room -- where no one could observe him and mistakenly think he was modeling proper respect for Rex Lapis -- the archon was reduced in an instant from lord and master to merely Morax.

Xiao scowled. "Why are you reading my letter?"

"I am nosy." Morax looked up at him so playfully. Glint-eyed, smirking. "Are you really going to send this to Lumine?"

Heat stormed across Xiao's face. He crossed over and tried to snatch it from Morax's hand, but the archon pulled it to his chest, careful not to crumple the paper.

"Answer my question, and I will return it to you."

"I already did. That is my copy."

"You made a copy?"

"Yes. I send her a letter every year. You know I prefer giving gifts for my birthday than receiving them."

Morax offered him the letter, but somehow he looked even more delighted than before. Xiao took it and folded it carefully, stepping past Morax to put it into a little recipe box that he had found lost along the road.

"Do you keep a copy of all your letters for her?" Morax said.

"Of course. Then I can remember and not repeat myself."

"Oh, please. I must see them."

"No, not when you're smirking at me like that. What is that look for?"

They were standing close enough that, if Morax were not being deeply annoying, Xiao would have been warring against his own bodily desire. The archon was still seated, his ankle crossed over his knee, his arms folded over his chest. He hinged his head back to look upward at Xiao, that relentless smile still on his face.

He squeezed Xiao's hand, saying, "I am going to tell you something you will not care to hear."

"I already don't care for any of this."

"Good. It will continue the theme." Morax raised his eyebrows and glanced meaningfully at Xiao's memory box. "That was a very romantic letter."

Immediate disdain and disbelief flooded Xiao's chest. He scoffed and pulled his hand back. Then he shook his head at Morax, fixing him with a stern, disapproving frown.

"Stop sullying my letters with your degenerate mind. You're the one who told me I should be honest with my friends."

"Oh, and you honestly love her?"

"Morax, you know I don't like when you tease me."

The archon grinned. "I'm sorry."

"You are not."

"Indeed. I am enjoying this immensely. Show me the others."

"No." Xiao picked up his box, so that Morax could not peek inside. He then took out the newest letter and tucked the box under his arm as he reread it, his brows furrowed, his face pink. "What part of this is romantic?"

"The entire thing."

Xiao turned the letter to him again. "No, tell me. Which part?"

He was half-convinced now that Morax was simply having one of those bored moods, where he needed to be superior and irritating. He did it far less often now, but when he was younger, he took great joy in teasing Xiao and then kissing away his scowl.

Morax took it and said, "You want her to come adopt a bird and name it with you, so that 'through this tiny creature' you both 'will gain another connection.'"

Xiao blinked at him, uncomprehending. "Yes, just as you rescued me. It is a good activity for friends."

"Ah, yes. Just as we are friends."

"Do not be jealous."

"You're the jealous one. I would not be upset if you meant it in a romantic way. I would find it rather sweet."

Xiao's face pinched. "I only meant what I literally said."

"Right. Show me the other letters."

Xiao was so certain that Morax was wrong that he held out the box immediately. Then he folded his arms over his chest and said, "You are so smug. You always think that you're correct. Just because I do not think of social things as you do does not mean I have done something wrong."

Morax's smile was more genuine now. His amber eyes were gentler as he said, "You know, I am proud of how confident you've gotten."

"No, you may not distract me with a compliment. We are fighting now."

Morax let out a boyish chuckle, low in his chest. "Oh, my mistake."

"Yes, just as you are mistaken about this. I've done nothing wrong."

"I'm not saying you did something wrong. But you should be aware of the signals you are sending if you don't intend them."

Morax opened the box and skimmed over the handful of letters quickly. And his grin only grew more and more ridiculous as he read.

"Oh, Xiao. Please. Are you lying?"

"I do not lie."

He held up a letter as he quoted, "'There are still many people in this world who care about you'?"

"Yes, I did not want her to think she must battle alone."

Morax flipped to the next letter and read aloud, as if it was a shocking gossip column, "You told her you dream about her and you wonder if you 'deserve to have such sweet dreams'?"

"They were good dreams. I do not have good dreams very often."

"'Having you around would make even qingxin feel like a treat'?"

"I only see her a few times a year, yet I can gather qingxin all spring and summer."

Morax bowed his head and started laughing so loud, Xiao worried that others would overhear and recognize the sound -- and, gods forbid, realize that he was speaking sternly to the emperor of Liyue.

Xiao lowered his voice to a hissing whisper and said, "Why are you laughing?"

"You're in love! It's beautiful."

"Stop it." He pushed on Morax's shoulder. "You dishonor me, by suggesting I would ever have feelings for another."

"It's been a few thousand years, Xiao. I am quite secure in our relationship. Although I must point out, the most indulgent note you've written to me is, This made me think of you."

"Because that is actually romantic."

Morax did not answer, but he did not have to. He merely brought his arms around Xiao's waist and smiled up at him, that insipid sparkle still in his eye. He pressed a kiss to Xiao's chest, just as Xiao pulled away and shook his head.

"You told me to make friends, Morax.  I have made a friend. Now you mock me for friendship. Can you not remain consistent?"

Morax patted his thighs authoritatively and stood. Xiao followed the movement with his eyes, glaring upward.

"Right," Morax said. "I propose we go survey the adepti and see which of us they agree with."

"Absolutely not."

"Why? Are you embarrassed at others reading your love letters?"

"They are not--" Xiao growled and held his forehead, where he had a headache forming. "They are private, and they are not love letters."

"Mm, then you refuse because you are embarrassed that I might be right."

"Did you come here simply to tease me?"

"No, this was a delightful gift. You could not have given me a better present for your birthday."

Morax leaned down, and Xiao was not too irritated to kiss him back. But he did force himself to scowl again. He would not give Morax the satisfaction of knowing that not even Morax's current behavior could erode the simple, perfect peace of the archon's affection.

"I came to ask if you wanted to have dinner at our little cave for your birthday. But it seems you have a date with Lumine and a bird."

This ignited Xiao's pride in a rare and searing way. He scoffed and put his hands on his hips, saying, "Fine. We will ask Cloud Retainer. And then you will see that it is not my error at all. You have simply imposed upon my letters your own strange baggage and lack of poetic instinct."

"By all means." Morax gestured toward the window, though neither of them needed to exit a window or a doorway to leave this place. "I am eager to hear her perspective."

Xiao took his box, turned his head away, and left in a burst of teal light, not waiting for Morax to follow.

***

It was sunset on Mount Aocang. Four ageless protectors of Liyue gathered around the stone table, surrounded by those placid, mintless ponds: Xiao, Rex Lapis, Cloud Retainer, and Moon Carver. Mountain Shaper had managed to prolong his banishment from the mountain and had not been permitted back since the Lantern Rite debacle.

No other adepti had been present when Rex Lapis and Xiao arrived -- and thank every god and star for that.

There Xiao stood red-cheeked, arms tightly folded across his chest. At the table, Rex Lapis was smug in every sense: holding his smug tea, raising his smug eyebrows, tightening his smug mouth. The repose of a god proven utterly right, yet again. In the company of others, Morax was again Rex Lapis in Xiao's mind. It annoyed him, to only direct his negative emotions away from the lord archon.

Across from Rex Lapis, Cloud Retainer sat looking over the letters, with Moon Carver in his deer form standing beside her, peering over her shoulder to read with her.

At that moment, Cloud Retainer was cackling. High in her throat, like the calling of a crane. She doubled over and wept so profusely that she had to remove her glasses and wipe at her eyes.

"It's not that funny," Xiao muttered.

"I sternly disapprove of your behavior, Cloud Retainer," Rex Lapis said.

"One is not laughing at you, Xiao." She was gasping between words, smiling more than Xiao had seen her smile in easily a decade. "One is laughing at the situation."

"No, you are laughing at me."

Rex Lapis shook his head and tsked, then took another innocent sip of his tea.

Beside her, Moon Carver was expressionless. It helped that he remained in his deer form, and deer did not show an excess of outward emotion.

Yet even Moon Carver's voice had a smile in it when he said, "Conqueror of Demons, your intent is pure and good-hearted. However, I do see room for misinterpretation. I hope it does not prevent you from continuing to express value toward your companions."

"I am considering throwing myself from the mountaintop," Xiao said, scowling at Rex Lapis's feet. This was the closest he could come to showing his open disapproval for the archon's behavior, even in front of such ancient allies.

"Oh, one does not see the need for such drama." Cloud Retainer waved his own letter at him, as if to dismiss him.

"I have evidently debased myself."

"These two jackals may be enjoying your discomfort." Moon Carver stepped closer. He was tall enough that his eye was just above the top of Xiao's head. He lowered his head enough to give Xiao a serious look. "But please know that my regard for you has, in fact, increased from this. I was unaware that you had been so kind to the Traveler, and I see great value in that."

Xiao sighed and rubbed his face. "Thank you for trying to console me, Moon Carver."

"Of course."

"One offers the Conqueror of Demons sufficient support in battle," Cloud Retainer said, with a hooked smile. "Of anyone present, this one has most arguably earned the karmic permission to tease him."

Xiao could not hide his scoff, nor his eyeroll. "I am certain that is not how it works."

Rex Lapis inclined his chin toward the northern horizon and said, "You might be able to intercept the courier, if you hurry."

Xiao paused. He gazed in that direction. His mind whirred upon the math: how far a human traveler could have moved from Wangshu Inn toward Mondstat, in the span between midday and now. He considered the likelihood that they had camped near the road.

Then he nodded and said, "Wise advice, Lord Archon. I shall follow it."

Xiao vanished and appeared on the road north of Wangshu Inn. The air was cool and quiet, yet his face still burned from the humiliation of realizing that he had so utterly missed subtext that the others found so obvious. It was like walking past a boulder for years that everyone but him noticed.

As he thought, he willed himself back to Mount Aocang to take his box of letters from the table. He wanted to snatch it and hold it to his chest, but he forced himself to appear disinterested in it.

Then he dipped his head and said, because he must, "I apologize for intruding. Excuse me again."

"No apologies needed," Rex Lapis said.

The sideways glance he gave Xiao was so ancient. So very Morax: impish, sly, and yes -- overwhelmingly smug. 

 Xiao tightened his stare and only huffed in response. Then he was gone once more, to undo the damage he had caused.

***

The moon watched as Xiao spent the next four hours urgently pacing and searching the road. He even went into the lower edges of Mondstat, yet he proved unsuccessful. 

Now it was approaching midnight. He had no mind toward his empty stomach, nor the way his hair had gone wild from how he kept grabbing and anxiously pulling it. 

Xiao crouched upon the rooftop of Wangshu Inn with his knees to his chest, murmuring to the bird with a broken wing.

"This is terrible," he said. "This is why no one should have friends."

The bird was sleeping, its head tucked beneath its uninjured wing.

Guilt crept upon him, at the realization that he was risking the little bird's well-being by allowing it near his karmic burden for so long -- especially a karmic burden darkened by his current mood.

"I am sorry. I know my presence must affect your healing."

"Oh, you have made a new friend."

The sound of Morax's voice behind him only made Xiao hug himself tighter and glare at the shingled roof.

"Leave me alone, Morax. You have been mean to me today."

The archon laughed, but this time it was gentle and apologetic. "Did I allow things to go too far?"

"Yes. You did."

"Will you allow me to console you?" Rex Lapis came and sat beside him now. He was immortal and eternally youthful, yet more and more he was sighing like an aging human when sitting down upon the ground. "Or do you only need the bird for such things now?"

Xiao did not even look at him. They sat unspeaking, their shoulders nearly touching. It irritated him further that Morax's profile was so handsome in the moonlight. No statue could compare to the real thing, and Xiao had wasted many hours admiring those statues over the millennia.

"I have ruined things," Xiao murmured.

"I am sure the bird will forgive you."

"No, with Lumine. I have made it..." He scrunched his face and twisted his mouth, searching for the word. "Weird."

"Ah, come inside. I cannot hold you out here."

"I am too angry to be held."

"I know you're embarrassed."

Xiao said nothing. He hid the lower part of his face in his elbow and hugged his legs closer. He only stared at the bird, wondering if it remained so peacefully asleep because of the warmth of the archon's presence.

"I am sorry we laughed at you. It's only the discordance between your inward and outward behavior. You are like... a sweet melon. We only ever see the hard exterior. Not the soft inside."

"My assertion remains. You are unpoetic."

Morax only smiled, this amber eyes fixed on Xiao's face.

It was, of course, obviously untrue. Morax formed rhetoric with the ease of shaping stone. Yet it soothed Xiao to jab back a little, after all the little hits he had taken today.

"Lumine will not make fun of you. She is far gentler than any of us."

"What if I made her feel lied to? Or manipulated?"

"You have been honest. Continue to be honest."

"Very well. When I see her, I will say I did not mean my letters romantically."

Morax winced. Xiao could see it in his periphery, and only now did he deign Morax with a side-eyed pout.

"What?" Xiao said. "It's honest."

"Don't say that unprompted or as first greeting. That would indeed make things weird, as you say."

"Shall I wait for her to ask?"

Or, gods forbid -- if she did not ask, but acted. He wanted to cringe into the heart of the earth, imagining Lumine leaning toward him or fluttering her eyes at him. A great warrior, demeaned by his error. His mind spun like a wheel in water, frothing up all the endless awful possibilities.

"You should simply act like yourself." Morax squeezed his ankle, a touch low enough that no one upon the ground would see it.

"Following your advice got me in this nonsense in the first place," Xiao grumbled.

Morax snorted. "I'm afraid you cannot hold me responsible for that."

Now Xiao looked at him. He still sat knees to his chest, his mouth pressed to the bend of his own elbow. Morax's eyes had not changed in all these centuries: still pure and warm and adoring.

Damn his fragile heart. Even now, it was a once-wounded bird within him, drawn endlessly toward the warmth of the sun. 

"I will require much consoling," he said. "And a treat as well. You must pay for it, not Hu Tao, or the funeral parlor. And it must come from Liyue Harbor, so no one knows you are here."

The archon grinned. "You've well and truly earned it, my Xiao."

Xiao puffed himself up and said, "Go on, then."

"My, how bossy."

"We are alone. I get to be myself."

Morax removed his glove, licked his fingertip, and tamed an errant strand of Xiao's stress-messy hair. "Indeed. My favorite time to be with you."

Xiao shook his head and sighed. He stared thoughtfully at the bird for another moment longer. "Is naming and releasing a bird not a friend activity?"

"It is certainly a friend activity. It's the discussion of forming connections and bonds that feels emotionally loaded."

He nodded, then stood up. "Very well. I will see you in my room."

Xiao left to perform one more patrol around Dihua Marsh. He could pretend to others that it was his duty, but it was truly for himself. He found comfort in the quiet burbling water, the north-flown wind, the kiss of moonlight. It allowed him to consider without embarrassment how vexing it was, to live as long as he had, yet still find the puzzle of social interaction so inscrutable.

A dance he could never master the movement for, no matter how much he studied or practiced. He was always off-tempo, always out of step.

When he returned himself to his room, he found Morax at his desk with paper and ink brush. Beside him was a ceramic takeaway container that had the sweet, unmistakable scent of almond tofu.

"You may be heartened to know," Morax said, "that this dish cost me thrice what it should, for asking Chef Mao to prepare it after he was already closed and cleaning for the night."

"I do not like that it inconvenienced him."

"It was already cooked and in the icebox. He only had to package it, and I offered additional thanks for his kindness."

"Hm. I can accept that." Xiao came to stand beside him and narrowed his eyes at the paper. "What are you doing? Rewriting my letter for me?"

"Certainly not. I am writing you a set of reminders. I enjoyed poking fun, but I worry you will take the wrong idea from this."

As Morax spoke, he reached back and brushed his thumb along the line of Xiao's ribs. It was only here, in the privacy of his room, with the curtains closed, that Xiao was willing to grasp his hand.

Xiao leaned on the back of the chair, pressing his cheek to Morax's shoulder, holding their entwined hands to his mouth as he read over the archon's writing.

You are kind, and that is good.

You are honest, and that is good.

You did not make a mistake being kind and honest, even if it discomforts you.

Discomfort is the process of growing and changing -- and good friends will challenge you to do so.

Xiao sighed through his nose and made a face. "I said I needed to be consoled, not coddled."

"This is not coddling. This is honesty." He tilted his head. Here they were so close, Xiao could feel Morax's breath upon his face. "I worry you will close yourself off, instead of risking further error."

Xiao turned his eyes to Morax's shoulder and let out a quiet grumbling groan. He did not resist when Morax put the ink brush down and put an arm around him, pulling Xiao into his lap. There Xiao sat, hugging Morax's neck, hiding his face, as Morax stroked his fingers up and down the length of Xiao's spine.

"I am sorry that I allowed your stubbornness to reach the adepti. I knew how it would go. I should not have goaded you by suggesting it."

"That was the mean part," Xiao mumbled, allowing himself to sound wounded.

"I did try to warn you."

"I really thought you read far too much into it."

The sound of Morax's laugh was like the sound of home. Morax kissed and nuzzled his ear. "I will not do it again. I promise."

Xiao lifted his head to fix Morax with a suspicious frown. "What are the terms of this contract?"

"I will repay every mora I have charged to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor."

He widened his eyes. "Every mora? Even the frivolous charges?"

"Down to the last tea leaf."

Xiao considered it. He traced a finger down the buttons of Morax's suit. Even now, it made him faintly melancholy to think of Menogias sewing them on, all those centuries ago.

"I decide if you have breached the terms," Xiao said. "Not you."

"I agree."

Xiao kissed his jaw, nodded, and leaned his head upon Morax's shoulder again. "Very well. Our contract is made."

Morax grasped and squeezed Xiao's thigh, telling him, "Let me finish this. You should eat while it is fresh."

With that, Xiao stood up. He removed his boots, his gloves, and his shoulder armor. He only removed his gloves around Morax, because he did not like others to see the dark teal of karmic wounds, burning his fingers. 

He placed his things beside his bed. Then he sat upon the mattress that he so rarely slept on and ate slowly. His body could endure much longer between meals than a human, and he often forgot how much time had passed since his last meal. But by the faint ache in his stomach -- how much space a single piece of tofu seemed to occupy -- he knew it had been at least a week since he ate anything substantial.

When he finished eating and Morax finished writing, the Geo Archon stood with a grunt. Then he grimaced, holding and stretching his lower back.

"Your retirement from fighting has reduced your flexibility," Xiao observed.

Morax scoffed. "I am plenty flexible."

"You groan like an old man when you stand up."

"I am an old man."

Yet Morax was smiling, when he leaned over Xiao and pressed their foreheads together. They both had their eyes closed, their jaws and throats so defined -- one reaching up, one reaching down.

Morax nuzzled his nose to Xiao's, then murmured against his mouth, "You should provide me more exercise."

That thrilled the wicked parts of him, bodily and selfish.

Xiao bit back his smile and said, "We could go patrol for the rest of the night. I will show you the path I trace on Tuesdays."

"Mm, I would rather go name a bird with you."

"I reserve that for my friends, and I merely tolerate you."

Morax chuckled low and kissed him, the only kiss Xiao would accept in a place like this. Gentle, subtle, no tongue or teeth. Xiao returned it and looked upward as he took Morax's hand and kissed his knuckles.

"That is enough of a break," Xiao said. "I will see you on my birthday."

"You should sleep at least."

"I will only turn upon my own thoughts. It is better if I at least patrol as I do it."

"Very well. For your birthday -- shall we have a cave night?"

Xiao huffed through his nose, but he was unable to hide his smile this time. He knew exactly what Morax meant: their secret cave that Morax had carved, just for them. They met there once a fortnight. It was so far below the earth, the stone floor was always warm upon bare feet. It had the only things Xiao desired: an underground hot spring, piped into a bathtub; low amber lighting; a warm bed, where no one could overhear or stumble upon them.

And, of course, Morax himself.

"Either my birthday or the day after, if my visit with Lumine runs late," Xiao said. "And you will treat me very indulgently."

"Yes, like my little prince."

Xiao traced his eyes over Morax's face, searching for fractures, for half-hidden truths.

"Am I really so bad at interacting with people?" Xiao murmured.

Morax hesitated. His stare flicked from one of Xiao's eyes to the other, until at last he said, "You were once terrible at it. You have improved to rather good, with moments of being merely awkward."

He groaned and held his face in his hands. Usually he refused Morax's touch in a place like this, where someone might walk in and see them. But now he craved it, and he leaned in when Morax straightened up and hugged Xiao's head to his own stomach.

"My Xiao, my Xiao. Reread the note I have left you, from the wise philosopher Mr. Mo."

Xiao snorted, but he adored how Morax began stroking his scalp. For a moment, he debated asking Morax to go to their cave and hold him there.

Then he looked upward and said, "I am only half as mad at you now."

"Mm, still very mad. I see that."

Xiao rolled his eyes. He knew Morax's sarcasm like Liyue's every remaining wild: infinitely familiar to him, after all these years. Yet it was unscripted interactions with newer people that made him feel lost in an unrecognizable forest, without a compass or sun to guide him.

"Do people truly think I'm awkward?" he said.

"Only the ones who know you, and only on occasion."

"You are making it worse."

"You should stop asking questions if you won't like the answer." Morax pulled away and put his thumb on Xiao's chin, gently lifting his head until Xiao looked at him. "Your friends care for you because of who you are, not in spite of it. As do I."

Xiao twisted his mouth. Even after all these years, it mystified him that Morax saw anything worthwhile in him. 

"It is hard to believe," he admitted.

"I do not lie to you." The archon turned to leave, then held up a thoughtful finger. "One last piece of advice, Xiao."

"What is it?"

"You and your bird should have matching outfits for your date with Lumine."

It was a relief to smack Morax's arm and laugh at him -- one of those rare moments when time and loss and nobility did not exist. They were only Morax and Xiao, and Xiao needed no more in the world than that.

After Morax left, Xiao did pause to look at the note. Morax had only added one more line, and it warmed him more than the others.

The person you are becoming is stronger than the person you have been.

***

Xiao waited two agonizing days. He came to hope that Lumine only sent him a letter apologizing, that she had been pulled to some world-ending crisis somewhere.

But there she was, early on the evening of his birthday. The sky was just pinkening to sunset, and he was guiding a pair of muddy, half-slimed Fontaine merchants down to Wangshu Inn. They were carrying a load of condessence crystals that had drawn geo slimes to them, like moths to flame.

Xiao explained when they crossed the bridge, running parallel to the inn, "You should hire a competent guard from here to Liyue Harbor. The host will have suggestions for you. This task should not cost in excess of 5000 mora, so please do not accept unreasonable offers."

"How much would it cost for you to do it?" one of them said, blue-eyed and dirt-smeared, but his companion talked over him and shook her head, saying, "This is the vigilant yaksha. He is not a work-for-hire guard."

"Oh, I am terribly sorry."

Xiao closed his eyes and dipped his head, in neutral respect. "I thought nothing of it. I wish you a safe and uneventful journey."

He watched until he was satisfied that they were, indeed, stopping at Wangshu Inn as he suggested. It was rare that a traveler said one thing and did another when he gave instruction -- and when it did happen, he would scold them and direct them again. This was far better than saving them twice, though reckless fools played with short-lived fate, no matter what he said.

It was then that he saw movement on the lower balcony of Wangshu Inn. The unmistakable flash of golden hair.

Lumine was sitting at a bamboo table and giving him a little smile and wave. She had a teapot and two cups on the table, with an empty seat waiting for him.

Xiao felt an instant warmth in his face, mixed anticipation and shame. He did not expend time walking. He merely closed his eyes and appeared beside her, in a fog of teal light.

In all the years they had known each other, this was the first time he saw change in Lumine -- beyond the minor changes of new battle scars. She wore a cream and tan dress, with tall brown boots and twin trailing scarves down the back. It did not look like any Liyue fashion, and again Xiao thought of his old friend, who would have had much to explain about it.

"You came," he said simply, with an equally simple smile.

"I heard there was a bird in desperate need of a name and someone to care for it."

Xiao huffed and averted his stare to the teapot. He could not help circling the vortex of all he wanted to say. It was like walking upon a floor blindfolded, knowing that he could fall into a hole at any moment. Even now, he wanted to comment upon her appearance without sounding... romantic.

He settled on, "I like your new dress."

"It's an old dress, believe it or not." Lumine shook her head, and now a sadness entered her eyes as she stared into her teacup. "It has been a very strange few months."

Xiao pushed away his own petty self-consciousness to sit with her, angling his head to catch her eye contact. "You seem troubled. You do not have to carry such burdens alone."

"It's nothing." She gestured at the teapot. "This is for both of us. It's green tea, no sweetener."

"You were kind to think of me."

Lumine laughed. How easily it came to her, like the sweet song of a bird. "I wouldn't get tea you hate on your birthday."

Yet Xiao could not shake that she did not fully acknowledge what he said. He poured himself tea and gazed around the patio. There were too many people around for him to feel comfortable, and perhaps that was why Lumine did not give a real answer when he said, You seem troubled.

Then he talked to fill silence, which he so rarely felt the compulsion for. It was ordinarily Lumine who filled such gaps for him. Yet she seemed to have gaps herself. Something about this last trip to Nod-Krai.

"Yes, I found the bird three days ago. It is still wounded, yet improving. It is at the highest point of the rooftop."

"Ah, your thinking place. No wonder you found it."

Xiao felt his mouth pull, a smile impossible to hide. He nodded and sipped his tea. Still hot, recently prepared.

Then he glanced around and asked, as an afterthought, "Where is Paimon?"

"Enjoying a generous buffet at Wanmin Restaurant. My treat." Lumine raised her eyebrows and now she was her old self, giving him a sly sideways smile. "I knew you wouldn't want her around the bird. She cannot help her tendency to shriek at random."

He scoffed and nodded. "You're right. That would vex me."

"Tell me what you have been doing, Xiao. And how you have been doing."

"Little has changed since Lantern Rite. I have begun painting paper fish kites with Madame Ping and some local children. It is a relaxing past time."

Lumine raised her brows. "Inside Liyue Harbor?"

"She has a quiet place, away from the usual foot traffic. She has assured me that she can detect if my karmic burden is escaping the vessel of my body."

"Aw, Xiao. You have been doing well. I'm so glad to hear that."

He liked that Lumine and Morax were the only ones unsurprised that he took so easily to painting. Liyue itself had taught him the beauty of color, from millennia of studying its sky across every hour, every plain, every peak.

When they finished their tea, the horizon was purpling and the lanterns were lighting themselves, a comforting orange glow, like little prayers in the dark.

Lumine patted the table and said, "Now, let's see this bird."

Xiao nodded. He briefly stopped in his room for bird seed. How awkward he felt closing the door upon her, but he did not want unspoken implication. Nor did he want her to see Morax's handwriting, the indulgent note on his desk signed Mr. Mo.

When he stepped out again, he took her hand and teleported them both to the rooftop.

Lumine seemed far less reserved up there. She relaxed her shoulders and exhaled, gazing out at the splendor of Liyue beyond.

"This place remains so special to me," she said.

"Why?"

"It was the first new place I sought out intentionally in Teyvat. Mondstat was happenstance." She fixed him with an affectionate smile. "And I have you here."

That dropped a stone in his stomach. Slippery, unclear subtext.

Xiao hunkered down and said, "We should approach low, so we do not frighten it. It is a bold little bird, but you are new."

"Of course."

This was why he found Lumine such a good friend. She had no hesitation crouching down like children and creeping slow to the edge of the eave. There Xiao showed her the opening that the finches nested in, and the wounded bird outside of it. He had brought it a few handfuls of leaves and needles, and it bedded down there now.

At the sound of their approach, it lifted its head, its liquidy black eyes fixed on them. Its whole body twitched, and Xiao feared it would try to fly and only harm itself. It still held one wing stiff and uncomfortable.

"I didn't think a bird with a broken wing could fly again," Lumine said.

"Most do not. Most will perish. It is rare for one to survive, yet this one is defeating the odds." Xiao offered her the pouch of bird seed. "Here, it will eat if you place a pinch of seed in front of it. I try not to overfeed, so the other birds do not crowd and stress it."

"Do you still have a mind of what it is like, to be a bird?"

Xiao paused, watching her uncinch the pouch and take out seed. That question brought him skipping upon the brief and dark memory of being in his kite bird form, when his wicked master carried him into Liyue, hooded and caged.

He surprised himself by admitting, "The master I served before Rex Lapis rescued me was cruel to me. She found it more useful to transport me as a bird. She poisoned much of those memories."

"That leaves a deep wound."

"Rex Lapis has told me that grief changes with time. He is right. But it has taken such a long time."

They both sat quietly, watching the bird inspect this new Lumine-scent upon its dinner, then begin pecking at it.

"Time is a funny thing," Lumine said. "I learned in Nod-Krai that my time here is much older than I remember, but I'm experiencing old things like they are brand new. It's strange to describe. Like grieving what I couldn't grieve before."

Xiao flicked his stare over her. "Is that what you meant, by saying that is an old dress?"

"Yes. I found it in my... our..." She twisted her mouth and shook her head. "It's too much to explain."

"You are my friend." Xiao said this as if affirming an ancient pact. He stared intently at her, even as she only watched the bird. "It is not troubling or disruptive to me, to listen."

"It's your birthday, and that shouldn't be about my problems."

"It's not so precious. I do not know my real birthday. This is the day Rex Lapis saved me and gave me a new name."

Lumine's smile was damp, her eyes especially golden. "When you were just a wounded bird?"

Xiao paused. He had not thought of it as a mirror to himself, but it was so obvious when Lumine said it that way. Yet another boulder he passed, unaware of its presence.

"I suppose so," he murmured.

"That seems more precious to you than an actual birthday."

"It was a day someone reached out and took notice of me. So allow me to take notice of you."

He listened as Lumine told him about Nod-Krai: the moon goddess, the machinations of the harbinger Dottore, the discovery of her spaceship beyond the false sky. As she spoke, Xiao found it eerie to look upon the stars and wonder which were real and which were fabrication. He only had a faint perception of such a concept, from Rex Lapis's explanation of the moons when Zibai was saved.

"You were right that I am troubled," she continued. "I learned more than I can explain. I'm closer to finding my brother than ever before, and I feel like he is a total stranger to me. I'm even a stranger to myself. There's so much I still don't remember, and I've only found answers that lead to more questions."

Xiao nodded. The air was cool now, and the moon was rising. He had not noticed change in its patterning, though he wondered if this was just the weak vehicle of memory.

"You should have told me this at Lantern Rite," he said.

"I don't know that I was ready to tell anyone."

"I understand." Xiao appraised her for a moment, pausing, selecting his words with great care. "You are a resilient person. You will find answers, and you will shoulder them nobly. And if you are wounded and need to seek refuge, you know I am always here. You only need to call my name."

Lumine smiled, wry and sad. She looked upon the little bird, dozing now. "Your letters do bring me comfort. No matter what changes in the world, I know that you care for me, and I can rely on you. That means more than I can say."

Xiao pulled his lips in his mouth and said nothing. He was embarrassed of the flush in his cheeks. He had hoped that Lumine was speaking to him as a friend, and now all was discolored by the knowledge that he had given mixed signals.

Her smile sharpened to a grin. He could not tell if the edge to it was affection or amusement or both.

"What?" Lumine said. "Why are you blushing?"

"I'm not."

"You are." She said it laughing and leaned forward to catch his stare. "Was I overly direct?"

Gods, what if she had sent Paimon away because she expected something to happen? What if it was not about the bird at all?

Xiao opened and shut his mouth. He moved his hands to grip his own calves, to reassure himself. He shook his head and wished that Rex Lapis could secretly translate this for him. He felt like an augur, studying entrails to understand the secret art of socialization.

"I have been made aware of something that brings me shame and regret," Xiao said. He looked down at the shingles between his boots.

"What?"

"Rex Lapis informed me that my letters... could be perceived with an unintended subtext."

Lumine looked so baffled. Somehow this was worse than leading her on. This was painfully uncomfortable. He wanted to dissolve on the spot. Let him turn into a pillar of salt, a bird statue, anything but sitting trapped in this moment.

"Subtext?" she repeated. "What do you mean?"

"I meant them only as a friend to a friend. He said it could read as... more than that. I have great respect for you, and you are such an accomplished warrior. I would never want to debase you, or..."

He could not finish, because Lumine started giggling. It began low in her throat, as if she was trying to subdue it. And then it became full laughter that startled the bird from its sleep. Now Xiao and the finch both looked at her in perplexion.

"Oh, Xiao. No. I only took it as platonic." She crinkled her nose, still grinning. "Can I say something, but you know I don't mean it rudely?"

"Of course."

"I... didn't even think you like women."

Xiao widened his eyes. If he was pink before, surely he was now going pale. His bond to Rex Lapis was so old and enduring, yet he refused to publicize it even to the adepti. He would be horrified if Lumine had pieced it together on her own.

"Like I said, it's not a bad thing. My brother could go either way. I have no judgment for that."

He coughed, wondering if he should clarify that he did like both. That felt too vulnerable and personal. Was it worse to let her presume, or to introduce the possibility that he had capacity for romance toward her? Gods, he hated that he had spun himself in this net. He was a fish trapped and wriggling, a torment of his own making.

Lumine patted his hand and said, "I hope you won't stop sending me letters. I've kept them all."

"Really?"

"Yes. I would show you, but I left my pack with Paimon, at our room." 

Xiao held private relief, that this too proved she didn't expect physicality from him.

Lumine continued, "They remind me of that poem you wrote, about your old friends. It's a part of you I don't get to see otherwise."

"I thought of one of my friends, when I saw your dress. He had a tailor's mind. He would have fawned over it and made all manner of comments about the fabric and stitching."

How gentle Lumine's smile was. She wrapped her arms around her knees and pillowed her cheek on her forearm. "What was his name?"

"Menogias. He was a geo yaksha. He was kind and ridiculous." Xiao gestured in the vague direction of Liyue Harbor. "He actually made the suit that Rex Lapis wears now."

"He was talented. Not many people are craftsmen and warriors. A great loss in many senses."

Xiao nodded, emotion biting at the corners of his eyes. He lifted his left arm, to show her the sleeve he wore. The edges had been resewn many times, as wear and time ate away at the silk. "This is what remains of the yi he made for me. I should have cared for it better."

"It's beautiful. The colors suit you."

"Enough of me and my regret." He gestured at the bird. "What shall we name it?"

"Is it a boy or girl?"

"I have not given it the indignity of inspection." Xiao tilted his head. "But as it is a brightly colored greenfinch, I believe it's a male."

Lumine pinched her eyes and studied it for a long and silent few minutes. She seemed to truly consider it, as if it was of great importance to her.

"I have an idea," she said. "Since it reminds me so much of you, we can name it little Xiao. Xiǎo Xiao."

Of all things, that made Xiao laugh. It was real and quiet, so it would not frighten the bird. This added Lumine to a short list that once included four yakshas and Rex Lapis. One name alone, for centuries. Now it held two: the only people who could summon laughter from him.

"Do you remember the general, in the Chasm?" he said. It ached him to say that, even as he did not outwardly show it.

"Of course."

"That was his nickname for me."

"Then it's perfect!"

Xiao smiled relentlessly at her and nodded. 

He liked how she tapped her shoulder to his and declared, "Xiǎo Xiao it is. That's a bond between us -- and Bosacius, in a way."

"You remember his name."

"Yes. He was important to you."

There was a time that hearing this would have made him weep. He would have spent many days or weeks in the swamp of despair and regret, looking upon every bridge and waterway with the grief that he would never again walk these paths with his friends at his side. That he would forever be alone.

"Will you walk with me?" Xiao said. "I understand if it is too dark and cold."

"Are you kidding? I've never seen a road too dark and too cold for me." She winked. "I haven't been to Snezhnaya yet, so I may be humbled soon."

"I hope your spaceship has a fur coat."

He delighted in Lumine's laugh. She stood and stretched. Then they walked together, around Dihua Marsh. Xiao told her how Guili Plains once reached even to here, where it met a forest that sprawled on the border between Liyue and Mondstat. How all was obliterated over a thousand years ago, when Rex Lapis first battled Osial. Only one of the monster's severed heads was enough to drown the land, and all those trees were at the bottom of a lake.

"It took many decades for the ground to soak the water up, and now only the marsh remains," Xiao said. "Rex Lapis tells me that the trees themselves fed the loam, so a new ecosystem could form here."

"One day, when my journey is over, you should show me around Liyue and tell me what it was like in the past."

"Rex Lapis would be better at that. He knows far more than me, and of times more ancient than I know."

"I am curious about what you remember, not just the history. What your life was like before."

Xiao smiled shyly at the water, then at Lumine. "Very well. I would enjoy that very much."

They walked a little while longer. And when it was long past midnight and Lumine needed to return to sleep, Xiao brought her to Liyue Harbor himself, to spare her the journey to and from the waypoints.

There, on the dark and empty cobbled street, Xiao nodded and told her, "Good night, Lumine. And thank you. I had a very good birthday."

He was startled when Lumine embraced him, brief and tight. Then she held him by his elbows and said, "Come and get me in the morning. We'll check on our little Xiao."

Xiao was embarrassed of anyone seeing him, yet he could not help rolling his eyes and smiling.

"Bosacius would be pleased with that name, and the fact that you thought of it."

He had the short-lived and bittersweet image in his mind of Bosacius here now, laughing at him with Lumine. His heart ached for a time that never came to pass.

Lumine simply smiled, her eyes glinting even in the low light. "Happy birthday, Xiao."

Xiao nodded and waited to make sure that she entered the inn without trouble. It was foolish, as a warrior of her stature did not need his protection. But it was a kindness he would show to any friend.

While he was still in the city, he made a brief and silent stop at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. But he found Rex Lapis's room empty -- just as he found their little cave empty.

But his searching was rewarded when he returned to Wangshu Inn, and there was Rex Lapis, seated at his desk once more.

"The philosopher Mr. Mo," Xiao said, raising his eyebrows. "How fortunate to see you."

The archon tilted his head, and that playful look was all Morax. Like time had not passed, like he might wake and return to battle training with the yakshas once more.

"How was your date?"

"Fine. You introduced undue stress. She didn't take my letters that way at all." 

Xiao reached past Morax to set his bird seed upon the desk, overly aware of Morax following his movement in his periphery.

"Is she struck with social inability as well?" Morax said.

"It's my birthday. You must be nice to me."

"It's after midnight. It is certainly not your birthday." But he took and kissed the knuckles of Xiao's gloved hand regardless.

Xiao sighed and rested his knee on the seat of Morax's chair, between his thighs. He was only a hand taller than Morax, even when the archon was sitting.

"She thought I only had affection for men, so it never even entered her mind."

Predictability, that had Morax jackal-laughing at him. So delighted, so smug.

"Did you tell her you have a noble, handsome, and brilliant secret partner?"

"Yes, she met him and said he is finer than Rex Lapis."

Morax brought an arm around his waist and smirked up at him. He kissed Xiao's stomach, his navel. "I'm glad you had a good time."

"I did." He snorted. "She wanted to name the bird Xiǎo Xiao."

"Ah, good old Bosacius, making his memory known. I imagine he instilled that in her. A birthday gift from beyond."

Xiao inclined his forehead to Morax's scalp and said nothing. He adored Morax, how Morax knew wordlessly to hold him and gently sway him. 

At last, Xiao worked up the ability to say, "I told her that was his name for me."

"Good. Memory is a treasure to be shared. Especially such golden memories."

"I told her of Menogias. And your suit, and my sleeve."

Morax moved his thumb upon Xiao's hip and said, "I'm relieved for you. These shouldn't be things you see as only grief. We had many, many good years with them, despite how it ended."

Xiao nodded.

"Would you like to go to our cave tonight?"

"Are you aware of the subtext in that, Morax?"

"I meant it platonically. I only like women and those between genders."

Xiao snorted and pushed on his shoulder.

"Really, I only meant to hold you. I know very well you're not in the mood for more than that right now."

"A bath would be nice," Xiao admitted. "But Lumine and I are going to see if Xiǎo Xiao is ready to fly tomorrow."

"He's been wounded a long time. It's good to see him recover."

Xiao lifted his head and put his palm on the back of Morax's neck, tilting Morax's head up with his thumb. There he stroked along the line of Morax's jaw and said, soft and unblinking, "You are old and smug and irritating, and you often frustrate me."

"This sounds like one of your love letters."

"It is. I adore you completely."

"Mm. You know I love you, too."

Xiao nodded and kissed him, then nodded and kissed him again. He was daring in a way he usually would never allow, in a place like this. Yet his whole body bloomed, when Morax stood and brought a strong arm around his lower back. Morax's other hand cradled his head as they kissed with the urgency of many weeks apart.

Morax pushed him against the wall, and in that same moment, Wangshu Inn vanished around them. They reappeared in their cozy little cave, with the ever-glowing lanterns, the warmed stone, the welcoming bed. There the archon held him against the stone wall, and Xiao was briefly back in time, in the old Taishan Mansion. Morax tasted the same and held him the same. They stole many secret moments, just like this.

"Just a bath and a good sleep," Xiao whispered. "Prince me tomorrow."

"Whatever you like, my Xiao. Before, and now, and always."

They did fill a bath. Xiao enjoyed the embrace of both the hot water and the archon. He slept that night in Morax's arms, a deep and dream-filled sleep. Lumine was in his dream, as were the other yakshas. She got along so well with Indarias and Bonanus, in that dream. They were fast and firm friends.

Xiao woke with the dream-memory of Bosacius putting a heavy arm on his shoulders and saying, You should bring Lumine by more often. She would make a fine yaksha someday.

He woke early, before Morax. And when he sat up in bed, in only his underwear, he realized this dream had not emptied him like dreams of the yakshas often did. He was full and warm, smiling to himself.

Morax touched his thigh without opening his eyes. He murmured, sleep-graveled and gorgeous, "Will you go and check on your Xiǎo Xiao?"

Xiao nodded. He put his hand over Morax's and thought forward to the rest of the morning: bringing Lumine to Wangshu Inn, checking on the bird's wing. Yet he was already certain that this was the day it was strong enough, even if it did not believe so itself.

"I think he is as healed as he ever can be," Xiao said.

"Ah, look at that. You are capable of subtext."

Xiao rolled his eyes, but his smile did not fade. He stood and dressed himself. He pressed another selfish kiss to Morax's throat, then his mouth.

And then he left, to coax that little bird to fly once more.