Archive of Our Own

Once more, for what seemed like the millionth time that week, Mello charged through the door, causing Matt to glance up from his game and grin. Even with Mello's erratic behavior, Matt always found himself missing him when he was gone.

"Fuck him!" he yelled, tossing the picture at Matt, who merely chuckled as he looked at the back, which said DEAR MELLO. "What’s so funny?"

Matt looked at him and shrugged his shoulders. It was clear that this was not the moment for jokes. He simply carried on with his game while Mello ranted about the little shit. Matt absolutely hated him; throughout their lives, he had always been the one in the way of Mello becoming number one and turning every day into a new battle.

“But you know what, Matty, I’ve got a plan.”

The way Mello expressed it caught Matt's interest, igniting his curiosity about the thoughts swirling in that beautiful mind of his. Mello delved into part of it, as certain elements were still being worked out. Matt stayed quiet until Mello reached a point in the plan where he had to doubt the blonde's sanity. "Mel, what you’re talking about is suicide!" He exclaimed, not considering how his words might come across to the other at that moment.

Mello glared at Matt. Did he not think his plan would work? “You don’t have to help me. I’ll find someone else.”

Of course, Mello would automatically call him out, employing the usual manipulation tactics that he had perfected since their childhood.

Stung by Mello's remark, Matt sprang up from his chair. "Not a fucking chance in hell, you’re doing this without me!" He yelled, fully aware that he couldn't trust anyone else with Mello's life. “We made a pact, don’t you remember- you and me, always!”

A strange tension hung in the air between them. It had never felt this way before. Matt had always accepted the recklessness of the impulsive blonde, even when he knew there would be trouble at the end. But this time, their lives were at stake. Matt wanted nothing more than to live out the rest of his time on this earth with Mello. “I’m sorry if this comes off selfish, but I think I deserve my say. I happen to like our little life. Can’t we jus-”

Mello shook his head. “I have to do this.” Interrupting the other.

“No, you don’t!” Matt shouted vehemently, his anger surging to the surface."It's always been about being the best." Matt grabbed his keys from the table. “Fuck, you're so consumed by this, this need to win, that you fail to see the one major consequence of your plan."

"And what would that be, genius?"

Matt's jaw clenched, not believing for a second that Mello actually went there with the fucking genius bullshit Matt hated so much. "When you're dead, you’re nothing! What about me, about us? Do we even matter beyond any of this?" With that, he spun around and stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him.

He stomped down the steps and into the parking lot. Standing next to his car, he stared up at their window and shook his head. Matt opened the door and slid into his seat. Immediately, he unleashed all his bottled-up anger, yelling into the void and banging his fists on the steering wheel.

Then, as though nothing had happened, he started the car and sped out of the complex. He drove around for hours, smoking his nerves numb before pulling into a secluded spot. He turned on the car radio as he shifted the seat and reclined. Matt stared out the windshield at the river lights in front of him. This place had become a small escape for him after one of their more heated arguments.

"Welcome back to the dedication hour! I’m your host, Eddy Von Zeglier. Now, let’s hear from our next caller - Peach. Hiya, Peach! You’re live on the air. What message do you have for that special someone out there?"

“Ummm,” A familiar voice Matt recognized was heard. "This song is for the only person I would ever trust with my life- I-I’m sorry, Mario." A short silence followed. "P-please come home."

The song started playing as the announcer spoke through the opening few bars. “ There you have it, this song is called “Thank You For Loving Me.” Going out to Mario from his Peach,” he let out a light chuckle before the microphone had a chance to mute.

Matt stared at the stereo, unable to comprehend what he had just heard. Never had he concentrated so deeply on anything before. Well, aside from Mello, but that was a given.

The song's lyrics conveyed everything that remained unsaid, as Mello had always struggled with his pride. Matt pulled out of his parking spot and drove home, his thoughts racing about Mello’s plan; it wasn’t bad at all, but it made him think of all the things that could go wrong. The thought of one of them dying scared him; they had been together for so long that Matt genuinely didn’t know how he could survive without Mello, remembering the night long ago when Mello left. Tears flowed down his cheeks as Mello stormed out of their shared room. Hours later, he returned, appearing outside the window of their destroyed room, urging Matt to grab his things and hurry up about it, or this time he would really leave without him.

They walked around until they found a budget motel, thanks to their fake IDs that Matt had made months ago. It wasn’t much, but they were together. That night was significant; it was the first time they made love, the moment they promised there would no longer be a Mello OR Matt. From that point on, they would confront everything as one.

“Fuck.” Matt sighed.

Before long, he reached home, stepping through the door. Mello was at the table, his head resting on his folded arms. "Mel?" He called out to the other.

Mello raised his head to look at him. His eyes were rimmed with red from the tears. It was clear how deeply Matt's leaving had affected him.

Matt took in every detail of Mello as he sat there, looking somewhat lost, almost like he was adrift. He couldn't resist responding. "Peach?" He chuckled lightly, making Mello blush.

Bolting from his chair, Mello dashed over to him and wrapped his arms around the only one he would ever love. “You heard?” He sniffled, his emotions raw as he clung to Matt, never wanting to let go.

“So, are you going to tell me the rest of this crazy plan of yours?”

Mello smiled, saying, “There’s always tomorrow." He pulled away slightly from Matt, taking his hand and leading him to their bedroom. "Right now, all I want is you.’ His voice was soft and vulnerable.

God, Matt loved him.

And he was going to die, loving him.