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Stan feels so lost. It's been years since he last talked to Kyle, let alone seen him. But right now, Kyle is standing in front of Stan in some bar that he can't remember the name of.
Stan is probably unrecognizable to Kyle. He's been struggling with alcohol addiction for years, but recently it's beginning to get out of hand.
"Stan?" Kyle's voice sounds comforting. It makes Stan want to cry because it reminds him of home.
Kyle was his home, or at least he used to be.
"Hey Kyle," he slurs, buzzed yet still hungover from the night before.
"I-I can't believe it's you!" Kyle steps closer to Stan in the crowded bar.
"Yeah, it's me I guess,"
"You have a beard now," Kyle says threading his fingers through it. Stan shivers at the gesture.
"I'm also an alcoholic," Stan snaps back. He doesn't feel like dealing with the person he secretly loves, the reason he drinks.
Stan drinks his whiskey in one big gulp. He never planned on seeing Kyle again. That's why he packed his stuff and left for California, not telling anyone where he went.
But there Kyle is, right by his side.
"Why'd you leave without saying goodbye... why did you leave me?" Kyle whispered just loud enough for Stan to hear in the noisy room.
Stan squeezed his eyes shut. He never planned on ever having this conversation.
"I couldn't deal with the fact that I couldn't be with the person I love."
It was subtle hint. Maybe Kyle got it, maybe he didn't. Stan didn't fucking care anymore.
"What're you doing in California?" Stan changed the subject.
"I'm going to school here," Kyle said. "I'm at Stanford."
"Shit dude, I always knew you'd get into a good college."
Kyle blushed slightly, "thanks, what about you? What have you been doing for the past five years?"
Stan started laughing. He had a really good laugh until his laughter turned into tears.
"Stan, dude, are you okay?"
"No, I'm not. I'm not fucking okay. I'm a complete mess. I've been so drunk that I can't remember what it's like being sober. I can't remember shit, Kyle." Stan's tears blurred his vision. "I need help, but I just can't find a good enough reason why."
Kyle put his arm around Stan and walked him out of the bar. Kyle lead them to his car and helped Stan into it.
"Let me be the reason you get help," Kyle said.
"It's too damn late. I threw my life away the minute I started drinking."
Kyle started driving to his apartment, Stan in the passenger seat fiddling with the radio.
"I've really missed you," Kyle sighed. "I would call your cellphone everyday, even after you shut it off."
Stan's head started hurting and heart pounded. He wanted to confess to Kyle that he's in love with him.
"I really wish I could tell you the real reason I left, Kyle. I really want to."
Stan sank further down into the seat as Kyle parked his car. Kyle leaned forward and placed his hand on Stan's thigh.
"Why don't you then?"
"Because it's not something I can just blurt out!" Stan cried.
"It's been a fucking long five years without you, Stan!" Kyle shot back. "Do you know how much pain I've been in knowing that my super best friend left me without saying goodbye?! Do you Stan? I fucking doubt it!"
"Have you ever considered that I was in pain?!"
"Yes! I knew something was wrong and every time I'd ask, you'd shoot me down! Just like you're doing right now." Kyle's cheeks burned red with anger.
"I'm sorry that I could never say that I was in love with you," Stan softened his voice, looking out the car window.
Kyle inhaled sharply, "and all this fucking time I was in love with you too, and thought you just didn't love me back."
He got out of the car in a flash, angrily slamming the door.
"I'm the reason you left! I'm the reason you drink!" Kyle shouted once Stan got out.
"But now I know you love me!" Stan said, stepping closer to Kyle trying to grasp his hands. "I-I'll get the help I need, I'll stop drinking and we'll be together."
Tears streamed down Kyle's face as he backed away from Stan. Residents of the apartment building looked out their windows, silently watching the scene that was happening.
"It's not that easy Stan, I'm in a relationship!"
Kyle watched as Stan's shoulders slumped down and he nervously put his hands in his pockets. Stan bit his lip, trying to hold in all the emotions he was dealing with. He didn't want to start crying again, but his heart was just broken by his best friend.
"I, uh, I see," was all he managed.
He turned around on his heels and started to walk away.
"Please don't go, Stan," Kyle called out after him. "Come back home with me."
Stan spat back bitterly, "yeah well I just remembered I've got big fucking plans."
"And what could that be?" Kyle asked harshly.
"Drink myself to death."
Red flags went off in Kyle's mind, but he stayed put as Stan set off to a bar or a liquor store somewhere. He went into his apartment in a hurry. Kenny was on the couch playing Xbox. He had the headset on so he didn't hear what happened outside.
Kenny looked up and saw how disgruntled Kyle was.
"What's wrong babe?"
"I saw Stan in a bar and he admitted to me that he's an alcoholic. I tried to get him help, so I took him here a-and we got into an argument."
"Where is he now?" Kenny asked, hurrying to find his boots.
"He told me that he was going to drink himself to death," Kyle looked at his feet.
"And you didn't go after him?!"
"We -- something really complicated happened and I just couldn't bring myself to go after him."
"Kyle!" Kenny shouted at him. "It's been forever and a day since we've seen him and you just let him go? I thought you loved him."
Kyle froze and tried to say something but just ended up stuttering.
"Oh, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You guys have been in love since we were ten." Kenny walked out the door and Kyle followed.
They were too late. A fire truck and an ambulance were rushing down the street to aid a person who was in their car and a figure laying motionless in the street.
"No!" Kyle screamed running to the motionless figure. "Oh god no!"
He collapsed at the sight of Stan. His body bent in horrifying angles, him laying in a pool of his own blood.
"Shit," Kenny whispered trying to get Kyle away from Stan.
The paramedics checking for a pulse, concern glances were shared before a blanket was draped over him.
Kyle was sobbing so hard his body shook. He tried to wrestle his way out of Kenny's grip, but he couldn't.
The person who drove the now destroyed car could be heard giving their statement, "I was just driving home and this guy walked in front of my car. I stomped the breaks, b-but it was too late."
"I-I love you, Stan!" Kyle cried into Kenny's chest. "I'll always love you!"
Kenny and Kyle stayed until everything was cleaned up. Kenny did his best to console Kyle even though he was hurting too. Neither of them would be the same now. Everything was shattered.