Chapter Text
The Fading Warmth of Your Hand
Chapter 1
5000-yen
What does she sound like again?
How does she walk?
Was it quick?
No,no.
Probably rather slow to match my pace.
She would always hold my hand so I don’t get lost… yes, that’s probably the case.
Why do I even dwell on these small details? I should just let my memories of her fade.
That is… until I saw her at the entrance of a convenience store.
She was smiling. But not at me.
What do I do now?
Who is she smiling at?
Do I approach her?
Do I approach someone I haven’t seen for 7 years, and talk to her like nothing happened?
In front of someone else?
What do I even say to her?
I felt an itch creeping up to me. As if millions of ants are climbing on my body, from the bottom of my foot, to the tip of my head. I scratched the back of my neck until it felt a little painful, the itch slightly faded. For fuck’s sake calm down Shiori. Calm down.
The person accompanying her went inside the convenience store, but she remained next to their car, rummaging through her bag with a worried face. Maybe she was looking for something.
Now is my chance.
If I don’t talk to her, I’ll probably never run into her again. Just the thought of never being able to see her again is unbearable. But what do I even say to her? She’s probably already forgotten about what I look like. Yes, that must’ve been the case.
Seemingly ignoring my thoughts, my legs made a move before my emotions could catch up with them. By the time I realised, I was already in front of her.
The girl, no, the woman standing in front of me widened her eyes.
“Eh? Sh…Shii-chan? Is that you?”
She looked a bit uneasy. But more so, surprised. The fact that she was uneasy made me anxious as well. Not knowing what to do, I stood there, not being able to utter a single word.
After maybe a good 30 seconds worth of staring contest between us, she seemed to have finally registered me. Then, she greeted me politely which felt almost too proper.
“Shii-cha- I mean Shiori. Long time no see. Wow, you’ve really grown a lot. How have you been?”
Why did she call me Shii-chan? And why is she calling me Shiori now? My brows involuntarily furrowed.
“Miyagi. Please call me Miyagi.”
“Eh? Isn’t that your family name? Wouldn't it be weird to suddenly call you by our- uh… your family name?”
“No, it’s not weird. Please call me Miyagi, and how should I address you?”
“Sendai Hazuki. But you can call me Hazuki, there’s no need to be formal with me.”
She lost her composure for a brief minute, but slowly gathered herself back. Her smile is irritating. So, so irritating.
“Oneeee-chan~ what took you so long? I’ve been waiting ages for you! My ice cream is about to mel- Who is this? Is this a friend of yours?”
“Kikyo-chan, could you-“
“Got it got it, I’ll wait for you in the car, I’ll leave you two alone hehe~”
A pair of hands pushed us by our backs, straight into the convenience store.
“So Sendai-san. Are you getting anything in particular?”
“Ah no not really, maybe this fashion magazine and some barley tea.”
I didn’t know she read fashion magazines.
“So does the Onee-chan read fashion magazines?”
“Oh um no I don’t, haha. It’s just that Kikyo-chan was into fashion ever since she was a kid. Have you heard of Ibaraki Umina? Apparently she is a really popular fashion icon amongst middle schoolers. That’s probably why Kikyo-chan was so obsessed.”
Sendai-san kept blabbing about something uninteresting. Boring. Really, really boring.
“I’m heading to the cashier. Miyagi, are you getting anything at all?”
“I’ll keep browsing for a little bit.”
Sendai-san rummaged through her bag again as she walked towards the cashier. A hint of panic surfaced on her face.
“Miss, cash or card?”
“Ahh, umm…”
She looked a little embarrassed.
“This magazine…”
“I’ll pay for them.”
“Huh?”
I reached my hand out and placed a five-thousand-yen bill on the counter.
“Sendai-san. Use this.”
Sendai-san turned around with a surprised look on her face.
“Use that money to pay for your things.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll just feel bad if I do.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“No, take it back.”
Sendai-san grabbed the five-thousand-yen bill and handed it back to me. So, I put it back down onto the counter.
“May I use this to complete your order?”
The cashier said, looking at us rather troubledly.
“Yes, please do.”
I answered for Sendai-san.
She tried to snatch up the five-thousand-yen bill again, but the cashier managed to beat her to the punch.
“Thanks Shio- Miyagi. Looks like I forgot to bring my wallet, so you helped me out there.”
She expressed her gratitude towards me once we walked away from the cashier.
She’s smiling like that again. It felt like something was stuck in my throat to the point I found it hard to breathe. I couldn’t open my mouth to respond.
“Here take your change. Um… how should I pay you back? Oh, how about you leave your online bank details to me. I’ll transfer you tonight.”
Sendai-san tries to return the money to me, but I just can’t get myself to accept it.
“You don’t have to pay me back. You can keep the change too.”
After delivering what I wanted to say, I turned around and started walking off.
I couldn’t get the fact that someone else had called Hazuki ‘Onee-chan’ out of my head.
“Huh? Wait a second, I feel bad.”
“It’s okay. No need to feel bad, so please keep the change. Sendai-san.”
“I can’t just take money from you! After all, I'm the older one here. Here, take your change.”
“Just throw it away then.”
“Huh? Throw it away? Miyagi, this is money we’re talking about!”
I tried to walk away as fast as possible. My heart is beating so fast that it’s about to burst. It hurts. It hurts so much.
Sendai-san somehow caught up to me and grabbed me by the shoulder.
“Ahh, whatever. Let’s just say I borrowed the change as well. I’ll transfer it all back to you tonight.”
“There is really no need for that.”
The hand on my shoulder was enough to make my heart ache. I need to hold back my emotions. So I shook her hands off and began to walk again.
As if she’s chasing after me, Sendai-san called out to me from behind.
“I’m going to pay you back. I don’t know how, but I will find a way to pay you back.”
“Then, how about you work to pay off that five-thousand-yen instead?”
I guess I caught Sendai-san by surprise. Good. Now walk away. Don’t look at me. Forget me.
Instead, she stopped in her tracks.
“Huh? Work?”
“I was joking. It’s late now, you should head back.”
I turned to look at her one last time. I’ll savour it, and I’ll probably regret it. But it’s for the best.
“Okay how about this— I know this family restaurant around the corner. Let’s meet there tomorrow at 12 noon. I’ll pay you back with cash in person then. What do you say, Miyagi? Promise?”
“…huh?”
She pointed her pinky at me.
What is she talking about?