Chapter Text
You’re never going to hear the end of this from Sam when you get back.
It starts out as a dare. You and your two older brothers, Sam and Dean, were investigating a poltergeist situation down in — well you really can’t remember now but it was in an old warehouse called C&A. It was some sort of tech company? You couldn’t figure out what they were developing but some ghosts of past employees were still lingering around, very angry and obsessive over the way they died. Choosing to be furious at their employers rather than passing on. You couldn’t understand why, you never had a normal 9 to 5 job. You didn’t get paid minimum wage. You and your brothers got income from applying for fake credit cards and stealing identities — was it moral? No, but it made living easier.
After you were done with the last poltergeist that was still here, you and your brothers took a breather. It was hot outside already, nearing 91° and the air conditioning in the building didn’t work. It’s been off for what you can only assume for decades.
You sit down in one of the abandoned office chairs, brown and worn down from age. Computers have been left behind, some of them connected to monitors. One of them was flickering on and off, still trying to stay alive. Dean knocked on the monitors screen on the top of it with a soft fist, trying to keep it alive.
It surprisingly worked. Dean gave you a look that read he found something and he did, he picks up a headset.
“Dare you to try it on.”
It was a simple sentence you should have had ignored but you humored your older brother. Bonding time was rare and despite Sam’s many protests of putting on the helmet, you wave him off insuring him it would be fine.
It wasn’t fine.
Far from it.
You didn’t know it but as soon as you put on your helmet, Sam and Dean were already shouting. You weren’t sure at what but Dean had regretted daring you to do that as soon as he said it.
The last thing you saw was a flash of white light. You thought it was one of the angels that have been tailgating you and your brothers. Ever since Sam accidentally released Lucifer from the pit, higher ups have been trying to get the brothers to take up their roles.
They never got them to do it of course. Sam and Dean were not going to be the cause of the apocalypse, but little did you know it would be the reason why you’re trapped here.
🌟
Oh, he’s aware of your existence.
You, however, are not. Not anymore at least, and that’s how it needs to be for now. Everyone has their purpose in this; Caine should know, he’s been designed to keep you safe while everything tries to get… sorted out.
Your brothers were meant to take you to that warehouse. Did you know? Nope. Did they know? Not… exactly. But everyone did their parts and here you are!
Not exactly as yourself in your usual pair of blue jeans, flannel and boots but as some sort of… weird creature. You couldn’t really describe it, what were you? Some sort of children’s drawing? A failed test in an animation program? You blink, eyes feeling weird and heavier than normal. Were you tired or were you not made of skin anymore?
Only a look in a mirror could give you all of your answers but you were terrified to even look, and that was rich coming from you for half the shit you’ve seen in your life.
“Welcome to the Amaaa~zing Digital Circus!” he decides to make his appearance to keep you from blubbering and asking too many questions. It was in your nature to ask, but never to listen. “Are you ready to see something incredible?”
It sounded like there was no escape from his question. Was it rhetorical or was it a legit one? Incredible doesn’t really strike you anymore, not with what you’ve seen.
“I’m sorry, what?” Caine grabs your hands, defying gravity and lifting you up from your feet. Your eyes bulge, panic creeping on your feet as the world you were once standing on disappears from underneath your feet.
What was this guy? As soon as he touched you, it felt, not in a romantic way, electric. Like getting a shock after rubbing your feet on carpet and touching someone. A quick jolt.
“Here we have the tent,” it starts quickly. When it comes to new players, Caine was always elated to show them his home. Which, in reality now, would become their home. “This is where your living quarters are!” he drags you to your dorm, a chocolate brown door with a white circle with your face on it. You blink, take a quick peak inside. A bed with plaid covers, it was decorated like a hunters cabin — like something you’d see at a ski resort. The next scene warp and you don’t know if it’s an actual warp or a transition in a power point, but you feel like nearly throwing up when he brings you to the next spot. “Here we have the grounds! Drown yourself in the digital lake, or engage in ridery at the digital carnival! Night? Day? It's all okay! The choice is yours, a cosmic buffet!” did he mean for that to rhyme or was he just having fun? You didn’t care to pay attention.
You push his hand off of your writ, he’s a little shocked he allowed you to do it too. He doesn’t bother to try to save you as you fall flat on your back onto the ground of the tent, knocking the wind out of your lungs for a brief moment. You cough, finally standing up after a while.
You look in a nearby mirror and you see yourself. A doe. A female deer? Animated, light, delightful — something like out of an old Disney cartoon, though bulkier?
“The f*ck?” you run a hand through… well you don’t have any hair, your ears do twitch with irritation. “Great, just…” your head kills, you squint your eyes and rub your hands into your eyes. At least you have hands and not hooves.
A flash of your human self flashes behind your eyelids, you try to remember how you look as a human but it’s slipping your mind.
“Oh! A new player! Look, Pomni!” you look ahead and see a handful of whimsical characters. Each design as ridiculous as the last. The one who spoke up looked like a rag doll, red hair and a singular button eye — her other eye was normal though.
The one named Pomni was a jester donned in red and blue. Her eyes looked like a mint candy but with blue and red instead of red and white. “Why are you a deer?” her voice was blunt but she was asking the same question you were mentally asking yourself.
You want to tell them it’s a play on words, but you’re not sure if that’s the case. It’s definitely a hidden message, but you don’t know if they’d buy your story if you start to explain it. “Welcome to the circus! These are our lovely residents!” Caine slaps a hand on your back, continuing his introduction to your new cartoony universe. “Meet Ragatha,” that was the rag dolls name, “the one who asked you the question is Pomni! She came here last week!” she didn’t seem to thrilled to be there. “The ribbons is Gangle—“ you see who he’s talking about.
“Hi…” Gangles voice is soft and feminine. She has a half smile, half frown white mask on. The ribbons were curly, bright red.
“What’s this now Caine?” another voice enters the group. “A new NPC?”
NPC? You frown, you were on the road a lot but you at least had entertainment. Sam had managed to snag you a Gameboy Advanced and you knew what an NPC was. Rude.
“No my dear sweet mismatch of pieces! This is Zooble! Their… well, I don’t know what their problem is…” Zooble gave you a sorry look, as if immediately understanding that Caine was introducing them to you. “Meet… well…” that part?
Well he knew that part. You didn’t. Nobody knows their names when they enter the circus, Caine tries to keep that information to himself. It’s obvious to the players when they enter when they can’t remember their names, a little jarring at first but usually they accept it in the long run.
“My name is…” you blink. It’s on the top of your tongue. Why can’t you remember your name? Is it… no, that’s not it.
“Hey! Aren’t you going to introduce us too? Sure we’re lame but not that lame.” two more people come out. A tall purple rabbit in overalls was the one who was speaking, following behind him seemed to be a chess piece on the verge of literally bouncing all over the circus.
“Ah! Sorry about that Jax! That’s Jax!” as if it were obvious, “And that’s Kinger!”
“Hi!” Kinger spoke up proudly, “What’s going on?”
“New player,” Zooble gestures over to you as if it were no big deal. “First Pomni and now… what’s your name anyways?”
Everyone looks at you but you have no clue who you are.
Not anymore at least. That’s how it needs to be. For now.
🌟
Your name is Cerva.
Latin. Fitting, considering all your spells were in that language. But did you know that? No. You didn’t know anything — at least not from your past life.
And that was his job. To keep you from knowing anything about what was going on out there; trust him when he says it’s better for you to stay here in the circus than out there. Ugh, he didn’t want to know what was going on out there. Your brothers caused quite a ruckus out there!
The deer skin was a play on words for your career. You were a hunter of the supernatural but your newfound friends don’t know that, and about a month or two into the circus you couldn’t remember that either.
Or at least you didn’t bother to tell them. Caine often pondered if you told them, would they react like she’s talking nonsense or would they be used to it? Act like they knew that all along? Say: “Well yeah, if this place exists then creatures like those exist.”
He lets you remember your brothers. You had so many stories about Sam and Dean, and every time you talked about them you hesitate. As if to wonder yourself if those stories were fabricated out of thin air or if that life you lived with them was just a figment of your imagination. It felt real enough; the running, the fighting, demons and angels… you don’t mention those parts.
Everyone was dealing with their own demons. That much was clear when it came to this one adventure where you guys had to work in a fast food joint.
“Actually,” as he watches the security footage of the restaurant he sees you talking to Gangle and Zooble. You’ve gotten close to them, it was sweet. You’ve been here so long you felt like you actually had friends outside of your brothers. “This is my first time working. Never really had a job before.”
You did, just not this — at least you don’t think you did. Your memory was getting hazy.
“How old are you?” that you knew. You told them your age, “Seriously!? Never had a job? Were you rich or something?” Zooble seemed jealous, but if anyone had work experience here it was Gangle as far as you knew yourself.
You shrug. “Job market sucks,” Pomni nodded in agreement. She came in after talking to an NPC of Caine’s — you don’t catch the name of it, but poor Pomni had an experience with the guy that she remembers but he doesn’t. “What can I say? Did a bunch of odd jobs here and there.” you tell them and before you knew it, you were transported from the kitchen to Caine’s office.
🌟
You failed your task at the fast food restaurant. You don’t know what you did, you panicked for a bit and wondered if you’d ever have that experience again. Working a 9 to 5 seemed… not normal for you. Was that what you did in your past life?
Either way, you were waiting for the others. Wringing your hands together you try to find something to do.
“Hello my little bamboozle beast!” you jump, your little triangular tail tucked between your legs and ears pinned back. Perfect reaction for an animal character that’s been spooked. “Do you know what you did wrong back there? Tsk, tsk, tsk, can’t have you talking about your job like that!”
You don’t know what he means. Caine knows what he’s talking about though; you were slowly starting to remember what you did and he couldn’t have that, not yet. Not now. They weren’t even close to putting him back in the pit out there and she didn’t need to see that mess. Too traumatizing!
“What… I didn’t do anything.” exactly. You didn’t do anything wrong. You looked at him with furrowed brows, tapping your foot on the ground rapidly in annoyance.
“Exactly! You didn’t do anything! You don’t do anything!” Caine doesn’t know if he’s saying too much, or too little. Would she get what he’s talking about or will it be a puzzle for her to solve later? “Do you know why you’re here Y… Cerva?” he almost calls her by her actual name instead of her characters name. “You’re not supposed to be out there, not yet anyways. Your time to shine will come soon though!” he beams as much as a pair of dentures could.
“I don’t… well, I never understand what you’re saying…”
“That’s good enough for me!” Caine snaps his fingers and you find yourself sitting in the tent.
Though the snap of his fingers remind you of something particular, you just can’t put your tongue on it.