Work Text:
It was a sunny day in the white house, where every president ever lived happily together, until it wasnt. Michelle Obama angrily pranced through the halls looking for her hsubabdnd Obama, which she found talking to y/n about adopting a pet alien from area 51. "Obama." She screamed directly into his ear, he turned around trying not to cry (hes sensitive to noise he has autism) "Obama I'm a lesbian." She confessed cutely, turning to Lestat De Lioncourt and kissing him on the cheek. "Michelle, thats a man.." Obama spoke sooooo cutely, "No she isnt." Michellse retaleieted "Faggot ew commit suicide #NOTgiving #Obamaslop" the two ladies walked off shaking ass the whole way out. Obama turned to y/n so sadly soo sadly. "Its okay Obama-kun.. You still have me!" YOU say kindly. The authors friend Chelsea walked into the room. Michelle ran back her ass claps alerting the gaurds,grabbing Chelsea by the skinny waist because shes soooo tiny and petite "AND ALSO im dating HER". Obama crode. Y/n ripped of its shirt to cheer Obama up with its fat tits (gender neutral, im AFAB and markiplier has bigger cups than me). Obama solemnly moaterboaters them, tears falling down your teats.
Time jump about 3 hours because the author sucks and you should KILL it
After finally cheering up Obama and him heading out to get you both burger king, which despite being mcd*nalds biggest competitor, has very few locations in washington DC! (true fact look it up) And they all happened to be closed for matenciece Matnenv im sorry one second i need to look this upmaintenance maintenance its spwlt maintenance okay. Meaning, Obama has to go out of town to get his big fat juicy whopper and you want a cheeseburger with 12 extra orders of pickles, no fries or nuggets you sick fuck? Giving you time to call up some side pieces! You ding a bell and the whitehouses pigeon boy arrives quickly, ready to write your message on a scroll. You consider which of your hoes to hit up, when you remember your beloved Charlie Kirks fat cock! "Write this down, pigeon boy" You command "Dear Kirk, I hope this finds you in good health. I need cock NOW! Obama is gone for a while come smack my ass baby. I can kirk yur kirky 😛😛", Jordiah the pigeon boy writes quickly, he asks you how to spell "😛😛" and you just repeat it. He sends the scroll off in a fat pigeons dirty little claws, the poor thing can barely fly none the less carry a scroll. Minutes later Charlie arrives in his pretty pink glittering thong, directly to your bedroom where you await him. You decide its been a while since you got your freak on, and rip Kirks thong off with your bare teeth. "Oughhh careful Y/n !! Don't rip my little kirky off.." He moaned
< Important image please enjoy
Teething doesnt satisfy your hunger, so you grab the worlds largest bottle of water, contained on you and obamas nightstand, and tell Charlie Kirk to start chuggin that shit like its your cum and or other bodily fluid! After a moment of drowning himself, Charlie Kirk takes better aim than his (future) assassin and releases the yellow floodgates upon your face
(Proof this was NIT my idea )
Just at this moment, Obama gently opens the door. Charlie Kirk turns in surprise, still actively pissing just now on Obama. "Obama-chan!!!" you squeal like the cute little anime thing you are, "I-It's not what it looks like, I swear!!". Obama huffs and turns around "Heh.. No worrys.. I see how it is y/n.. 𝓘 𝓼𝓮𝓮 𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓲𝓽 𝓲𝓼"
