Chapter Text
Loving Kim Seokjin was the easiest thing Namjoon has ever done.
He's had this belief for years and years at this point. The realization had come to him when he couldn't have been more than twenty, though he was starting to mix up the dates. It had followed shortly after the realization that he was indeed, in love with Kim Seokjin.
Kim Seokjin was simply put, extremely lovable.
Namjoon was being reminded of all this right now, as Seokjin was walking next to him, eyes bright, smile big, gushing to him about how great the bottle of liquor he had given him had been.
"Where did you get it?" Seokjin demanded after waxing poetic about the mouthfeel, smoothness, and how well it had paired with everything he had drunk it with.
"I didn't, I got it as a gift," Namjoon answered him, not even trying to pull back his smile. He'd stopped trying to stop himself from experiencing good things lately. The fondness and love he was feeling in this moment as he walked home with Seokjin from the Hybe building, was as good as it got in many ways.
Namjoon was happy to be here, in this moment. And he was really grateful about that.
"From whom?" Seokjin asked, turning to him with his eyebrows arched, suspicion narrowing his eyes.
He was so beautiful. All bundled up in a long black coat, olive green scarf wrapped around his neck, covering most of his mouth too. His ears and nose were bright red, from the harsh January cold.
"A friend. You don't know them," Namjoon said, tearing his gaze away, not without difficulty. Times like this he was glad he had the kind of annoying memory that held onto every little thing. This he wanted to hold onto, the image of a cold-nosed, animated, chatty Seokjin.
"You have too many friends who I don't know," Seokjin huffed, somehow burrowing a little more in his scarf. This was uncharacteristic of Seokjin. Namjoon couldn't remember the last time Seokjin had had an opinion about Namjoon's friends. Or even what he did in his own time. It wasn't the kind of things Seokjin had opinions about. Or so Namjoon had thought.
"You can get to know them," He shrugged. "You want me to introduce you? I can invite you when we hang out next." It came out less like an honest offer and more like bullshitting, because that's what it was. Seokjin scoffed, shaking his head. "No thanks. I'll take their liquor plug though. I want another bottle of that Japanese Whiskey."
"I'll ask them where they got it from," Namjoon promised. Seokjin smiled at that, his cheeks puffing out of his scarf before lowering back in. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
"Let's grab dinner before we part?" Seokjin asked as they neared the point where they had to separate towards their respective buildings.
"Sure. Usual place?" Namjoon checked, already turning left at the crossing. Seokjin hummed his assent and they made for their go-to jeongol place.
It was the type of evening that wasn't exactly hard to come by anymore. Namjoon was still glad he had the kind of annoying memory that would never let him forget it.
****************
Seokjin did not believe in regrets. He did not believe in thinking about the past, sitting here in the present. Everyone around him was always talking about 'remember when' and 'remember how'. He did not. Remember that is. Seokjin thought of it as clearing cache. He needed space to function today without burdens. He made that space by letting go of the past.
The past did catch up to you though.
Nothing terrible had happened really. Seokjin wasn't even all that upset. He was not-upset to such a degree that no one around him even seemed to notice he had more on his mind than usual.
Which was just as well because what he had on his mind was not something anyone had any business knowing about.
Seokjin thought he had lived a very adventurous, fulfilling life. He had no regrets. But he had missed out on many things in return.
One of them being romance. He had missed out on romance entirely.
Before Bangtan, when he had been a baby teenager, romance gave him the ick. The only person he had loved in the whole world was his mom. Even his father and brother had their days where Seokjin didn't really care for them.
The idea of someone touching him, regardless of gender, made his skin crawl as he made it through puberty. Afterwards, it was the idea of love that made him nauseous. Baring your soul to someone else, letting them know about your feelings??!! Letting them hear your thoughts??? Your fears? Terrible. Why would anyone want to do that?
He certainly hadn't wanted to do it. Not even up to when he got to university, where literally everyone was either in love or horny. Seokjin could just about manage horny. Love was out of the question. And horniness too he always chose to experience by himself, never sharing it with anyone.
Then he got cast to join BTS and that was that. There were way too many problems to deal with that far superseded being a virgin.
Seokjin should just have not let it go on for this long.
Thirty-three and had never felt the intimate touch of another man. That was just pathetic. Seokjin couldn't quite figure out how he had never stopped to notice he was being left behind in this regard. He knew his bandmates were out there getting laid. He knew about Yoongi because Yoongi came and told him things. Unprompted. He'd told Seokjin he was into guys pretty unprompted too. He knew about Taehyung because Taehyung told everyone everything.
He also knew about Namjoon, because while Namjoon never told any of the boys anything, he never tried to hide anything either. There wasn't a question you could ask Kim Namjoon that you wouldn't get an honest answer to.
So yeah, Seokjin had known his boys were out there letting themselves love and get loved on. Seokjin had thought he didn't need that, to live a full life.
Now he needed it. He wanted it.
It had started with his service, Seokjin suspected. Going out of his Bangtan bubble and into normal society had been jarring, but also revelatory. Almost every man surrounding him had relationships they were involved in. And not just straight ones. Seokjin resolutely spent his entire service term minding his own business but it was inevitable that he heard some things. They made him ache. He'd never had a partner. Didn't even know what having one could feel like.
After spending his entire life thinking he was a solitary creature, Seokjin came out of his service craving a boyfriend, for the first time in his life.
He might have forgotten, with how busy he got immediately after being released to civilian life if not for his fucking friends. It was like they had been waiting on Seokjin to come back to start getting married. It was the summer of weddings. A summer of weddings he'd had to MC.
Seokjin even missed Namjoon's housewarming because he'd had a wedding to MC that night. Namjoon had been so cutely upset at him for that.
That was the present issue with Mission Feel Intimate Touch of a Man. The man Seokjin kept thinking about was Namjoon.
When he'd tried asking his brain why, why Namjoon? His brain had very quickly asked him back why not Namjoon?
Why not Namjoon indeed?
Seokjin needed someone for this Mission that he could bare his soul to without bursting into flames. That had always been Namjoon. His confidant, his one dongsaeng who's emotional intelligence Seokjin felt no guilt exploiting.
Seokjin needed someone who was discreet. Namjoon would throw his phone in the ocean and take a vow of silence if that's what was needed to keep Seokjin's secret. Seokjin was sure of that.
Seokjin needed someone who he was attracted to. Namjoon was hot. That was just fact. Namjoon had been hot for a good while now. As soon as his features had settled into his face and his heart in his chest, Namjoon had become extremely attractive. These days he showed up to practice in his least thought out outfits and looked like the perfect specimen of a man. And Seokjin was gay. So, That worked out. Worked out really, really well.
Lastly, Seokjin needed someone who would want to do this Mission with him. Namjoon never said no to him. Never ever, ever.
So it was obvious really.
Mission Feel Intimate Touch of a Man was in fact Mission Feel Intimate Touch of a Namjoon.
***************
Namjoon had never, in his years of being in love with Seokjin, thought of it as a bad thing.
Even if Seokjin obviously didn't have the same feelings for him. Even if Seokjin wasn't aware of Namjoon's feelings at all. Namjoon considered his crush on Seokjin a fundamental part of himself at this point.
A part of his heart he kept for himself. On most days his love for Seokjin could even be considered platonic. When Namjoon would date people, he would always tuck his Seokjin-hyung-Feelings neatly away and not think about them all that much. It always worked.
He wasn't dating anyone anymore though. Namjoon was extremely single and his Seokjin-hyung-Feelings at this very moment could not, in good faith, be considered platonic.
Not with the way his heart was jumping in his chest, watching Seokjin double over with laughter, falling sideways on Namjoon's couch, because Namjoon had apparently made a very stupid mistake in this video game they were playing.
Seokjin had tracked down that Japanese whiskey that he had been obsessing over ever since he stole the bottle from Namjoon's on New Year's Eve. He'd come up to Namjoon today after work, first day back after Seollal, asking if he was free, because Namjoon just had to try this alcohol. He had to. Then he would realize what he so foolishly gave away to Seokjin.
Namjoon had agreed. One: because he was free, and two: because he didn't feel up to telling Seokjin that even if he had known that the whiskey was the most delicious thing in the world, Namjoon would still have given it to Seokjin.
Now he had a borderline drunk Seokjin on his couch, laughing his head off, so red in the face Namjoon would've been concerned if it was someone else. But it was Seokjin, who got red easily. Who looked so pretty when he laughed, his eyes crinkling, his plush lips stretching around his shiny teeth, his cheeks pink and perfect.
Yeah. There was nothing even remotely platonic in Namjoon's heart and mind tonight.
"Ah Namjoon-ah, I forgot how bad you were at this," Seokjin said, his voice breathy. He wiped tears off the corner of his eyes. He'd curled into himself in the process of losing it. His socked feet were nudging Namjoon's thigh.
Namjoon narrowed his eyes. "You came here and plugged a game you were good at into my TV and are now laughing at me," He huffed. "We could've played one of my games."
Seokjin rolled his eyes, bracing himself on Namjoon's shoulder to sit back up. "Your games are boring. Always some hunter gatherer nonsense."
"It's not nonsense," Namjoon snapped, undermined entirely by the smile on his face. "Did you come over tonight just to humiliate me?"
"Nooo," Seokjin replied, dragging the word out and letting his head drop to the back of the couch. "I came over to spend time with you. It's been so long." He turned over to the TV where the game characters were bouncing on screen idly, waiting for them to start the next round. "Do you even remember when you last played video games with me?"
Namjoon blinked. Alarms were ringing in his head despite the copious amounts of Japanese whiskey he had consumed. Nostalgia? From Seokjin? That was almost unheard of. Seokjin didn't get nostalgic, he made fun of people who got nostalgic. Namjoon knew that all too well, having been on the receiving end of it all his life.
"Hyung, are you okay?" He asked. Seokjin's gaze had gone a little lost, staring unseeingly at the TV. "Huh? Yeah. Yeah I'm okay. What, I can't miss playing video games with you Namjoonie?" He demanded, shoving Namjoon's arm playfully. Unfortunately, Namjoon could see right through his emotional avoidance bullshit at this point.
"You can, but you usually don't," He insisted. Seokjin still wasn't looking at him. "I missed you too, hyung." Getting Seokjin to talk involved doing a lot of talking first. This wasn't Namjoon's first rodeo.
Seokjin turned his head, then turned his whole body on the couch to face Namjoon, still leaning on the back of it. "You did?" He asked softly. "I mean," he cleared his throat, looking down and at Namjoon's knee. His eyelashes were so long. Had Namjoon noticed before? "I know you did. A couple of people told me you were a little miserable after I left for the military."
"I wasn't a little miserable. I was miserable as fuck," Namjoon said. Seokjin nodded at that. His hand was picking at the couch's fabric, right next to Namjoon's knee. "But that was because of the umm. Break up. Wasn't it?" He asked.
"I can be miserable about two things separately. I'm very talented at misery," He answered, dropping his head back against the couch's back like Seokjin. He came into Seokjin's field of vision by doing so and they looked at each other. Seokjin gave him a rueful smile. "Can I ask about it?"
Namjoon nodded, getting more confused by the second. What was up with Seokjin tonight? He was never a melancholic drunk. He was a cute, bubbly drunk. He also, historically speaking, never cared enough about Namjoon's relationships to ask about them.
When Namjoon had told the guys about this ex they were talking about, in response to Jimin demanding at dinner that he do so, all of them had had questions. Except Seokjin. He never pried, even when it wouldn't be prying. Namjoon had always thought Seokjin just wasn't curious.
Apparently now he was.
"What happened? It ended pretty badly right?" He asked, his voice soft in a way that tugged at the part of Namjoon's heart where his love for Seokjin had a permanent home. Namjoon already felt exhausted. Rehashing this particular era of his life always did that to him.
"Yeah. It ended pretty badly. A lot of things happened. Bad things," He still answered Seokjin, because something was up. There was a reason Seokjin was asking now, after all these years. "So many that I've even forgotten now. In the end it simply came down to him deciding I wasn't all that good for him." Namjoon shrugged. Seokjin was frowning, his lips a little ridiculous in their plushness from this close. He looked sad, and Namjoon instantly hated it. With a burning passion.
"How can anyone think you're not good for them?" He asked, sounding genuinely confused. Namjoon couldn't help but laugh, sad too, but genuine. "By disliking the kind of man I become when I'm not doing my best," Namjoon answered. He had all the answers now. The post-mortem of his last relationship had concluded and given Namjoon all the answers. "The whys didn't matter at the end anyway. It became so toxic that being in the same room felt like pulling teeth. Then he broke up with me and put us both out of our miseries."
"That's good at least, that you got out," Seokjin whispered. He sounded almost scared now. Namjoon nodded, looking away from him and at his ceiling. It was a pretty, bright, cream color now. Not the weird chalky one he'd chosen when he'd first had the apartment done.
"Yeah I got out. Almost died dead in the process but got out."
Seokjin's fingers were now fiddling with the seam of Namjoon's sweatpants. Namjoon bit back a smile. Seokjin was so unfailingly Seokjin sometimes. He wouldn't dare hold Namjoon's hand to comfort him, pick at his sweats instead, but if Namjoon reached out, Seokjin's hand would be in his in a second.
"Did you love him?" Seokjin asked, bringing the sappy monologue inside Namjoon's head to a screeching halt.
"Yeah," Namjoon admitted. It was silent for a beat. Then, "Do you still love him?" Seokjin asked. Namjoon shook his head, even though he wasn't sure if Seokjin was looking at him. "There was too much toxicity at the end for their to be any love left. Only loss. The end kinda sucked all the love right out of me."
The end had kinda sucked all life out of him if he was being honest. But what was life if not love?
"Someone needs to pump you full of love again," Seokjin said. Namjoon looked back down and smiled at him. He had been looking at him. "Are you volunteering, hyung?" Namjoon teased. Flirted, really, because he was drunk and he didn't feel quite so loveless right now. He'd let his Seokjin-hyung-Feelings out of their corner and they were warming him up tonight.
Seokjin smiled back at him. It took a moment for it to register for Namjoon that he hadn't said no. What on earth was happening tonight?
"This all is so scary to me," Seokjin said, looking away again. He looked down at his hand, still fiddling with Namjoon's pants.
"Break ups?" Namjoon asked, still looking at Seokjin. He was making Seokjin blush by doing so, he knew, watching Seokjin pinking under his gaze. It was magical to behold.
"Dating," Seokjin corrected. "The prospect of like, I don't know, letting someone in near enough that they can do so much damage. I've never been brave enough to do it."
It sounded like a confession. Which Namjoon supposed it was, even if he had always suspected that was Seokjin's truth. They just never talked about all this. A lifetime of conversation but they'd never had one about their love lives.
"Never ever?" He still checked.
"Never," Seokjin said. Then flung himself violently back onto the couch, spooking the life out of Namjoon. "Not even a little bit," He went on, yelling a little now. "Not even casually."
"It's okay hyung," Namjoon said hurriedly, trying to placate. His brain quickly started writing an essay on how being chronically single was a good thing, Seokjin was so cool for loving his own company, for not needing anyone. But before he could compile and start saying any of this, Seokjin kicked him, snapping, "It's not okay. I'm 35 years old and I've never kissed anyone."
Namjoon's brain promptly deleted the essay.
And powered off.
It didn't help that Seokjin had flung an arm over his eyes and the only part of his face Namjoon could see beyond the grey sleeve of his hoodie was his lips. Kim Seokjin's lips. Kim Seokjin's perfect, beautiful lips. Never been kissed. No mortal on earth had gotten to kiss them.
"Oh hyung," Namjoon said, like an idiot. "You've got to get on that."
Seokjin whined, a shrill, startling sound, then buried his whole face in one of Namjoon's couch cushions.
"I'm trying," He yelled into the cushion.
Uh. What? Trying? Who was Seokjin trying this with? Who the fuck was about to get the sacred fruit after 35 years? This was all too much information to receive in the span of a couple of minutes.
"Trying?" He asked, it coming out way bitchier than he had intended. Namjoon cringed at his own tone. Seokjin nodded, still face-first in a pillow. He had gotten, so, so red.
It became silent in the room, save for the obnoxiously cheerful music the TV was still playing, because their game was still on.
Namjoon took in a deep breath. He had to say something. He ordered his brain to recover his essay. It gave him the middle finger and stayed turned off. Shit, he needed to sober up. Whiskey was not doing him any favors right now.
Seokjin took in a deep, audible breath, then he screamed into the pillow. It was the first time Namjoon had ever seen someone older than a toddler do that. Then he blindly extended his arm, feeling for Namjoon, before grabbing at his sweater and pulling himself upright.
The expression Seokjin was wearing when he faced Namjoon again was offended. Like Namjoon had personally wronged him. Which was unfair. It was Seokjin who had unleashed the information of his unkissed lips on Namjoon. And now was sitting way too close armed with the unkissed lips, his bent knee resting on Namjoon's thigh. Namjoon was the victim here.
"Would you want to do it?" He asked, his words rushing out at lighting speed.
"Do it?" Namjoon croaked. Seokjin nodded, frowning with his eyes big and face red. "The kissing. Would you want to do it?"
Would Namjoon want to do it. It being kissing Seokjin's unkissed lips. Would Namjoon do it. WOULD HE DO IT?
"Why me?" He managed to ask. All the thoughts in his head had run into each other like a multi-car pileup.
Seokjin frowned yet more. Did he not realize how doing that was making his lips look?
"Why not you? Who else?" He asked back.
Namjoon was sure who else included at least a million people out there in the world. A million men that would simply not hesitate to kill Namjoon to take his place on this couch right now. Namjoon wouldn't even blame them.
"I don't know. Yoongi?" Namjoon offered the only boy-kisser apart from the two of them in Bangtan Sonyeondan.
"Ew," Seokjin reeled. "Namjoon-ah. Ew."
A deranged laugh burst out of Namjoon. "Yoongi hyung is considered pretty sexy out in the world, hyung."
"Can we stop talking about Yoongi," Seokjin snapped. He reached out and held onto both of Namjoon's shoulders. "Namjoon-ah," He began, seriously. "This is serious. I can't keep living like this."
Right. No, it was serious. It wasn't that Namjoon wasn't taking Seokjin seriously it was just that-
"I've had a gigantic crush on you for the past ten years," Namjoon blurted out.
In front of him, Seokjin blanched.
"What?" He said, his voice suddenly low.
There was a line of sweat covering Namjoon's back, even though it was the middle of February and biting cold. "Haha yes. You see ever since I umm discovered that I could have crushes on men as a man myself, I've had a crush on you."
Never in a million years had he thought he'd be having this conversation with anyone, least of all Seokjin. His love for Seokjin was supposed to be a private thing!
Seokjin was looking at him like he'd grown a new head. Which irked Namjoon for some reason. "I mean I was newly coming into the concept of feeling attraction towards men and you were always around and you were so beautiful. I might have grown out of it but you somehow kept getting more beautiful over the years? So I kept crushing on you. It's simple really," He finished, a little lame.
"Simple," Seokjin echoed, flatly. He was still holding onto Namjoon's arms. He was still still closer to Namjoon than he had sat in years.
"You can't blame me for having a crush on you hyung, you're like the most handsome person in this whole country," Namjoon said. He had to defend his honor here. Having a crush on Seokjin was not weird. Not having a crush on him after knowing him is what would have been weird.
Seokjin narrowed his eyes. "You've met someone more handsome than me abroad?" He asked. The question sent a chill down Namjoon's spine. Had that whiskey been laced with something? Was Namjoon hallucinating?
"Uhh. No," Namjoon admitted. Seokjin hummed, nodding his head, satisfied. He looked at Namjoon, unblinking, for a beat. Then he shook himself out of it. Literally shook his head and said, "This is a good thing then, isn't it? You have a crush on me. You get to kiss your crush. That should make you happy. Right?"
"Right," Namjoon agreed unthinkingly. Seokjin deflated, his hands falling off Namjoon's arms and landing with a defeated thud on his thighs. "I mean, no pressure. You don't have to do it if you don't want to, that should go without saying like-"
Namjoon placed his hands on top of Seokjin's. He was not stupid, he knew there was a non-zero chance that Seokjin was pouting and blinking at him on purpose. Seokjin didn't give himself credit for a lot of things but he did know he was cute.
It was just that in the past few seconds he had realized that Seokjin was right. This was a good thing. Namjoon's new motto in life was to stop depriving himself of good things. This was a good thing.
20-year old Namjoon, who still very much lurked in Namjoon's heart and mind, scared and alone, would lose his mind if he found out that Namjoon refused Seokjin. Namjoon couldn't do that to him.
It was also criminal that Kim Seokjin had been going through life unkissed. This was an injustice. And if righting it was Namjoon's cross to bear, than he was okay with that.
"I'll do it hyung. And not under any sort of pressure."
Seokjin blinked at him. He blinked and he blinked, his big eyes staring at Namjoon like he hadn't thought beyond getting Namjoon on board. Which would be a very Seokjin thing to do.
Namjoon was so hot under his sweater he briefly considered taking it off but then realized that would send all sorts of messages. So he ignored the sweat covering his skin, pooling in his hair. He ignored his heart trying to beat out of his chest and raised his hand up to Seokjin's face.
It was impossible to ignore how much his hand shook, but Namjoon sought comfort in the way Seokjin gulped, blushed red, but didn't flinch away when he touched his face.
The skin under Namjoon's palm was so hot it was burning. Seokjin always looked soft from a distance, like he would be very squishable if you touched him. Few knew that he was indeed, very squishable, his skin soft and buttery smooth.
It was so unfair how much beauty had been bestowed on one singular human. And how well he managed to carry it.
Seokjin blinked at Namjoon, his entire face cradled in Namjoon's hand, then looked down to his mouth before looking up again.
Namjoon took a deep breath in, steadying himself. Wait. Wait a fucking second.
"Did you just do that nonsense flirting thing Jungkookie was going on about yesterday?"
"It is not nonsense!" Seokjin spluttered. "I looked it up, it's real. You're so ignorant Namjoon-ah, how did you ever manage to charm anyone into-"
Namjoon used his hand to bring Seokjin closer, close enough for the tips of their noses to touch. Seokjin shut his mouth closed.
Namjoon angled Seokjin's face, tilting it to the left. "Okay?" He asked in a whisper. His mind had quieted, his hand had steadied. Seokjin nodded, exhaling onto Namjoon's face.
Then he closed his eyes.
Namjoon thought, in the microsecond it took for him to move, that it was possible that this moment was about to divide his life into before and after.
Then he leaned in and pecked Seokjin on his lips.
Of all the sensations Namjoon had been experiencing in the past minutes, this one was novel. He'd touched Seokjin before sure. He'd never kissed Seokjin. He'd never touched Seokjin's lips.
They were soft. Of course they were. They were soft and warm as Namjoon slotted his with them, kissing Seokjin properly. Once, then again, sucking softly first on Seokjin's top lip, then bottom. Seokjin's hands fidgeted over Namjoon's thighs. Namjoon blindly found them and guided him to hold onto his shoulders, then cradled his face again.
Seokjin wasn't doing much in terms of kissing back but Namjoon chose not to be offended. He chose instead to relish in the death grip Seokjin now had on him, how close he seemed to want to be to Namjoon.
He kissed, he licked, he sucked and when Seokjin opened his mouth against Namjoon's on an exhale, he licked into Seokjin's mouth.
Seokjin jerked in his arms and broke apart.
"You're supposed to do that," Namjoon rushed to clarify.
"I know!" Seokjin panted. Namjoon looked at him and froze. He looked ethereal. His skin was flushed, and his eyes were dazed. Namjoon had never seen him this, this, this laid bare. He'd never had him this close to him. "Just took me by surprise," He finished in a mumble.
"You're good though?" Namjoon asked him. "It was good?"
Seokjin nodded, reddening more. He was still holding onto Namjoon's shoulders tightly.
Namjoon was going to remember all this till he took his last breath.
He leaned in again, whispering, "More?" Seokjin nodded, slipping one arm around him and clutching the back of his sweater. "Keep your mouth open for me hyung," Namjoon asked and kissed Seokjin again.
Kissed him slowly, softly, repeatedly. Namjoon brushed his thumb over Seokjin's cheek, breathed him in and let his lungs fill with the scent of Seokjin, citrusy and clean. Kissed him until Seokjin shuddered and parted his lips.
Namjoon brushed his tongue with Seokjin's, tasting him. Tasting the whiskey and the lemon from earlier in the night when Seokjin had mixed them whiskey sours. Seokjin pulled him closer, the movement a little desperate. Namjoon went easily, too busy mapping the inside of Seokjin's mouth with his tongue.
Their limbs were one big tangle on the couch at this point and Seokjin was either hell bent on tilting them back onto it or not realizing what he was doing. Namjoon retreated his tongue, and Seokjin's followed it, chasing the touch. Namjoon sucked it into his mouth.
Seokjin made a sound in the back of his throat that could've been a whimper or a moan. Either way it immediately slipped under Namjoon's skin, entered his bloodstream and made for his heart.
They broke apart, panting in each other's faces.
Seokjin fell back onto the couch, his eyes still closed, and dragged Namjoon down with him. Namjoon still didn't know if he was doing it on purpose. Namjoon slid so that he was not pressing down on Seokjin but next to him, a little afraid of what that kind of contact would do.
Seokjin's chest was rising and falling as he breathed. His lips were redder than Namjoon had ever seen them. Namjoon had not even bitten them. So they bruised easily. Good to know. What wonderful information to have. Tonight had been such an enlightening evening.
Seokjin opened his eyes and found Namjoon's. Then they found the hand he had clenched in Namjoon's shoulder, then the one he had around him.
"You're okay hyung," Namjoon said before Seokjin could panic. Seokjin looked back up at his face. Namjoon smiled at him. "We're okay. You're okay."
Seokjin exhaled, his body relaxing next to Namjoon's. He raised the hand that was clutching Namjoon's shoulder and brushed his fingers over Namjoon's lips.
"How are you good at everything, Namjoonie?" He asked around a sigh.
Namjoon kissed the fingertips pressed to his mouth. "You can't know that that was good, hyung," He teased. He was not going to think about how earth shattering a thing had just happened. He wasn't going to think about the Implications of what just happened. He wasn't going to ruin this for Seokjin and for himself.
"It was good," Seokjin insisted. "It was the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Any rebuttal Namjoon may have had got silenced by Seokjin pushing him using the hand he had on Namjoon's back. "Do it again. Please," He requested, looking up at Namjoon with his eyes big and twinkly.
Namjoon kissed him again. And again. And again.