Chapter Text
A twinkling laughter, gentle and inconspicuous, fell and settled in amongst the chatter of the small café. It drew attention to a group of awfully handsome office workers, though particularly to the man at the scene of the crime. Jisoo laughed, low but soft, at something Junhui had uttered.
“Nonsense,” he chuckled, eyes drawn up into crescent moons. “you listen to too many fantastical stories, Jun-ah.” Jisoo covered his lips with his palm as he laughed.
Junhui, a tall man with light hair, just watched his friend with an open mouthed smile. The third of the group reached over to rub Junhui’s shoulder, pointing at Jisoo with a slender finger. “Don’t laugh, Joshuji, it’s true!” though Jisoo shook his head and his hand in tandem.
“Jeonghan, please,” Jisoo chuckled. “These are just stories that circle around teenage friend groups. It’s just to scare people into sex.”
Jeonghan simply let out an amused exhale, shrugging. “Suit yourself.” he’d breathe, going back to his iced coffee. Junhui wiggled his fingers, offering a toothy, lighthearted grin. “Don’t say we didn’t warn you, hyung.” he almost cooed, bringing out that twinkling chuckle once more. Jisoo shook his head, sipping on his tea.
The retreating backs of some customers announced by the ringing bell caught his brief attention, drawing in dark eyes to follow long coats and scarves. His gaze flickered from one head of hair to another, though they were gone too soon for him to even try guess if he knew them. Why bother?
The grey day outside caught his attention for good this time, as he listened to the speculatively paranormal conversation topics his friends indulged in.
The warmth of the tea seeped through the mug and into his skin, holding heat in Jisoo’s palms whilst warming his throat. Honestly, he couldn’t wrap his head around his friends believing such things.
Jisoo paused, an idea popping into his head - an instant lightbulb moment, shame he didn’t yell EUREKA!
“Jeonghan,” he’d call, gaining the focus of both of them. “…can you hear our thoughts?”
“You of all people should know very well I am not a virgin.” Jeonghan scoffed, though the amusement in his voice had given light to his eyes.
Junhui eyed Jeonghan suspiciously, taking the latter’s hand off his shoulder. Jeonghan just gasped dramatically, booting up a playful skit, before equally mistaking playfulness for something serious.
“Junnie, I am not a virgin. I can’t hear thoughts or anything!” he laughed, eyes drawn towards Jisoo.
“Jisoo will - soon enough,” Jeonghan almost purred. Junhui just laughed in response, loud, low, infectious to a fault.
“Oh, stop it you two. Could we maybe discuss something else? Work, maybe?” Jisoo seemed to almost plead despite the curl of his lips and the giggle resting on his tongue. Junhui waved his hand in dismissal. “Whatever the wizard boy wants.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The group returned to their office building, coffee warming their red, cold hands and breaths visible against the freezing air. A few chuckles and teasing jabs were whispered amongst them, until they finally had to sit down and get back to work.
Jisoo’s eyes dragged away from his screen, already bored. He flicked through his calendar, resting his fingers on his birthday. Something about his friends’ earlier banter reverberated in his ears. A curse brought on by 30 years of virginity. A frown gathered itself onto his face, it just had to be nonsense. Despite that, there was a gnawing feeling in the back of his mind, the thought edging its way into his heart.
No, come on, Jisoo. Don’t fall for those two’s tricks. It’s just a story. Yeah.
As he was chewing on his lip absentmindedly, a tall man with thick features rested his hand on his shoulder. “Jisoo, would you be able to go fetch some papers from the printer?” a typical question, which Jisoo simply nodded his head to in response.
Choi Seungcheol, a domineering presence to those who don’t know him, patted Jisoo’s shoulder once more. “Thank you, much appreciated.” The latter nodded, watching his boss walk off. Jisoo got up, catching Jeonghan checking out Seungcheol as he walked away. He just let out a soft giggle, and Jeonghan cast him a long look.
Three people from a different department stood near the printer by the time Jisoo arrived, chatting away and (he assumed) evading their work. He recognised them quickly, solely due to their popularity. With a polite smile and a curt greeting, Jisoo went back to being stuck in his thoughts.
He felt a gaze on him, a quiet burning, but when he glanced up all heads were turned away. All he could hear from a pouty young man, whom Jisoo recognised as Boo Seungkwan, were endless - though admittedly funny - complaints.
“Soonyoung, you spilt coffee on my really nice trousers last week, obviously I won’t be letting you go on the coffee run. Seokmin-”
Jisoo twitched at the name, unintentionally. He side-eyed the trio, just to see the tallest member’s eyes in response. Lee Seokmin.
What is there to say about him? Of course Jisoo knew him, he was simply too radiant to avoid. Unmatched humour, gently combed black hair, moles enticing Jisoo’s gaze to linger longer than should be allowed. Lee Seokmin, ace of the productions department - where Jisoo took care of the marketing, it was Seokmin whose ideas were unmatched, innovative to a point. Jisoo simply sold them. To sell something effectively, you must have a good product first. Jisoo would quietly admire from afar, noticing him all the time.
When their eyes met, he had the courtesy to offer another polite smile. Christ, can this printer take any longer?
Just when he was about to avert his gaze, a clear voice interrupted Seungkwan. The latter, evidently unhappy about the rude interruption, threw a sideways stare towards Seokmin. If looks could kill, they say.
“Hong Jisoo, right? Sales?” Seokmin spoke, and Jisoo felt a dam burst. No biggie, he told himself.
Before he could nod, Kwon Soonyoung gasped. “Oh, I heard about you! Isn’t it your birthday? Happy birthday!” Jisoo broke the eye contact, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. He parted his lips to answer, still holding a composed smile.
“Ah, it’s tomorrow. Thank you, though!” he bowed politely, gathering the paper from the printer and mentally sending his gratitude to whatever god had saved him.
As Jisoo walked off, he felt a soft burn once more; on the back of his neck. He took to rubbing his nape, fighting the glorious urge to turn back and catch those chocolate eyes once more. Ah, he was no better than an awkward teenage girl. Internally, at least.
Jisoo sauntered over to Seungcheol’s desk, popping the papers down on it. His boss simply cast an almost hurried nod as he adjusted the phone nestled between his ear and the crook of his neck.
Jisoo returned to his seat, hurling the previous, fleeting interaction over his shoulder to clear his mind. Although to his dismay, that seemed to be the only truly interesting aspect about today. It was really just an overwhelmingly boring day at the office, so much so that Jisoo resorted to hushed gossip rather than paying attention. There were no deadlines, nothing. Everything but his own enjoyment levels had been met.
Scratch that. It wasn’t just a boring day at the office, no, the day was doomed in general. Just as Jisoo stepped out to start walking home, he realised one of his gloves was missing. The brunette promptly turned around, only to bump into someone.
“Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry,” he began, bowing slightly. “I should’ve been more-”
“It’s fine, uhm-” came a voice so melodic, clear as an undiscovered mountain spring. Jisoo froze for a moment, meeting eyes unpredictably soft.
“Sorry.” he’d offer another quick apology, before trotting back into the artificial safety of the office. What he hadn’t realised, as he stuffed that singular word into the air between them, was that Seokmin’s lips were slightly parted, watching him with strung up anticipation. A question was staggering on the tip of his tongue, falling back into his throat as Jisoo turned the corner and disappeared once more. And our main character? Couldn’t be none the wiser.
So strange. Why was he bumping into that guy so often today? Earlier at the printer, now literally into his chest. Jisoo rubbed the back of his neck once more as he went back to his desk, only to… not see his missing glove anywhere.
What?
Jisoo looked around, even bent down unceremoniously just to see if it fell somewhere. A disembodied voice brought Jisoo out from under his desk, making him look over his shoulder and sigh.
“Shua, what are you doing?” Jeonghan stood behind him, chuckling up a storm. The former offered a hand to his best friend, then duped and watched Jisoo stand up by himself. Jisoo, unbothered, brushed off his knees. “Have you seen my glove? The nice one?” he waved the remaining glove, a slight pout forming on his face.
Jeonghan just shook his head, putting his coat on. “I’ll have a look,” he hummed in that soft voice of his, adopting an almost motherly tone as he glanced around different desks. Jisoo watched for a moment, feeling a quiet smile bloom against his lips. “Jeonghan-ah, it’s okay,” he began, patting the other male’s shoulder. A sigh escaped his throat, and he tilted his head to the side almost adoringly. “I guess someone picked it up. I’ll try again tomorrow.”
Jeonghan cast him a long look. “Shame, didn’t you like those gloves? Unless you go for a mismatched style,” he purred, accentuating his point with a flick of the wrist. “Change up a bit for your thirtieth, hm?”
“Right, right, incredibly funny of you.” yet Jisoo’s eyes visibly crinkled, and a far away shine could be seen amongst the darkness. In that aspect, the two were awfully similar. Their words, though poised with thorns, held no venom. Rather the softness exhibited subtly in the scrunch of their face or peeking through their smiling eyes gave them away completely.
Though, in truth, to cut their similarities down to just their mischievousness would be exceedingly narrow-minded. It wouldn’t be uncommon to label Jisoo and Jeonghan as two peas in a pod. Born mere months apart from each other, conjoined at the hip, these two only differed slightly in looks and the air about them. Jeonghan held himself with elusive confidence hidden away by the gentle slouch of his shoulders; a perpetually tired but undefeatable soul with permanent witty remarks resting on his lips. Jisoo, in comparison, holds his head as high and with the grace of a woodland deer, taking equally careful steps with a broad shouldered gait. Both exude strength in different ways, but to the naked eye it is often shielded by soft voices and pretty faces.
Jisoo hummed, nodding his head slowly. “I suppose I’ll get going then,” came his amused drone as he spotted a certain figure hovering by their office’s doorframe. “Wouldn’t want to interrupt. Catch me up on the details later, would you?” Jeonghan reciprocated Jisoo’s wink, wrapping a scarf around his neck and trapping his long, dark hair. “Will do, Joshuji. Don’t wait up.”
Jisoo chortled, nodding his head. “Right, right.”
The cold air nipped at his cheeks, and he was obtrusively forced into seeking refuge within the soft cotton of his scarf. The complete lack of gloves, since he adamantly refused himself from wearing simply one, kept his hands tucked deep into his pockets, and yet the biting December air was relentless in its pursuit of skin to latch onto. Isn’t that just his luck?
Another quiet day for Hong Jisoo, filled with the sort of silence most would find substantially irredeemable. In lieu of verbal silence, the quiet Jisoo felt day to day was wholly internal. It was a feeling curled up deep in his heart, and although he spoke to so many people - Christ, it's his job - he felt like everything was just out of reach. No word truly grabbed his attention, and if it did it wasn’t directed to him. Always teetering on the edge of exposure, yet there was never anything to push him over.
Whilst he’ll laugh and react, there barely is that faint buzz in his fingertips or words aching to be said. It was, without decoration, an unexplainable experience - quiet that is felt and never to be heard.
That certain feeling of being cut out from the outside world, that feeling of not being enough for those he loved. It’s a nagging doubt in the back of his mind that refuses to let him enjoy the comfort of others. There will always be that line he cannot cross.
Though, he must admit, he wasn’t outright against this internal silence he felt. It was a never ending calm, a pebble in a slow stream. Then again, Jisoo still yearned for something to excite him, a moment which will loudly blossom in his heart. But that want, in itself, was quiet too.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He had to admit getting up in the morning was slightly harder. Jisoo thought that there wouldn’t be much of a difference going from 29 to 30, but it felt like his bones had caved in on themselves out of yearning to stay tucked in bed.
Regardless, cruel reality had other plans for him. Forced to get up, Jisoo glanced at the time. Was he just hilariously unlucky to have woken up naturally ages before his alarm? Though the temptation to go back to bed hummed in his fingertips, he pushed himself off the bed and decided to take his morning slowly. Even then, after picking out a slightly oversized cream cardigan over his crisp white shirt and black corduroy trousers to wear, when Jisoo looked at himself in the mirror he felt something was missing.
He styled his light brown hair as he usually did - fringe falling elegantly over eyebrows and the rest of the hair tucked behind his ears, but still that didn’t satisfy him.
Finally, his wandering gaze settled on a ragtag wooden jewellery box. Jisoo bit his lip. Would that be too much? But then again, it was his birthday. He shrugged. It should be fine. He wore a simple necklace, swapped his current earrings for rose gold counterparts, and found some pretty rings to match. It’s his thirtieth and he still has to work, at the very least he’ll make himself look nice. Nothing was going to ruin this day.
Except cruel reality once more.
Jisoo stood in the lift, watching it get busy as it usually did in the mornings. But instead of quiet hellos and apologies for the brushing of shoulders, everything was… loud. Impossibly so. He was almost startled by the constant chattering as his eyes were glued to the floor. There were people loudly complaining all around him, and - Jesus - without any sort of restraint.
‘That perfume is so overbearing. Who the hell sprays so much and then gets into a lift? I’m gonna get a migraine.’
‘God, can he not press into me?’
‘That fucker stepped on my shoe! This stupid building should get more lifts or these fatties should take the stairs.’
‘Shit, I forgot my wallet. Man, I can’t even reach the buttons from here.’
Jisoo stood body to body against others in this lift, and only when he raised his head to glance around did he realise nobody was actually speaking. A cold sweat ran down his back as he looked around more vicariously. This wasn’t a bunch of awfully honest people.
No way. That was just a fairytale. All the talk yesterday must have gotten to his head and he wasn’t properly awake yet. Jisoo pinched himself, but he was still awake. In his shock, he almost got off at the wrong floor.
The moment the never ending lift finally reached the ground floor, Jisoo shouldered past everyone just to get out. His well-protected silence had been disrupted, horrifically so. Maybe he was too greedy to ache for something to get his heart pumping, for this was incredulously overwhelming. This sure would’ve helped when he was an awkward teenager, he scoffed inwardly, not when he had finally begun to settle into his inevitable gentle loneliness. It was enough to be surrounded by unobtrusive laughter from those he cared about, or the supportive coo of his friends. What he didn’t need, especially not now, were everyone’s thoughts thrown at him with no restraint.
He had gotten used to being just slightly on the outside of the circle, involved just enough in other peoples’ lives to be remembered. One foot in, one foot out. But now, it seems he was pushed over that thin line.
Lost in his own thoughts as he scampered down the streets, Jisoo realised an old lady had trouble crossing the street. Ever the gentleman, Jisoo made a move to help her and consequently momentarily forgot his unfortunate predicament. Or, perhaps, he wanted more definite confirmation of the truth forced upon him.
“Excuse me, do you need some help?” Jisoo offered his arm with a smile, and the lady eagerly took it. He regretted it instantly, realising that he had to endure an awfully long crossing with a senior citizen goggling at him. Who, genuinely, made this curse?
To say he felt gross would be an understatement. Jisoo bowed politely nonetheless, but after knowing what goes on in that woman’s head he felt awful. It scared him a little, too. If this whole situation had just been a fairytale, he wouldn’t know how some people look at him. Plus, he felt bad just invading someone’s privacy without them even knowing. At this point, Jisoo was so focused on not touching anybody as he neared the office building that he forgot it was his birthday.
“Jisoo-yah!” he heard a voice behind him, and then arms circling his shoulders. Jeonghan and Junhui had spotted him, gifts in hands and smiles on their faces.
Just as Jisoo was about to thank them, he heard Jeonghan’s voice.
‘I hope he likes it. Jun was right, it would totally suit him now that I’m seeing him in that gold.’
Another con, Jisoo noted, was that now he was going to get imminent spoilers about every surprise ever. He glanced at the gift bag, offering a bright smile regardless. “You guys shouldn’t have. You already gave me a gift for Christmas, isn’t this too much?”
“Hyung, don’t be so humble,” Junhui grinned, handing the gift over as they walked up to their desks. Their fingers brushed momentarily, and Jisoo heard another soft sentence directed towards him.
‘Ahh, I’m nervous. Please don’t hate it, Jisoo-yah! I picked your gift this year!’
He shouldn’t have doubted his friends. This is torture.
On the bright side, there was no way he was going to hate this gift since it was from his best friends. Jisoo popped the gift bag onto his desk. “I’ll open it during our break,” he cast a sidelong glance towards their boss, “but honestly, thank you so much.” he grinned, pulling them both into a hug. Shit.
‘Man, I can’t wait that long!!!’
‘Mental note: ask Shua where he got his perfume from.’
Jisoo’s lips twitched, but he caught himself before he could properly reply. This is psychological warfare. However, at first, he didn’t notice the way his heart fluttered. He mistook the warmth for his body’s innate reaction to a fear inducing situation, which in itself is a testament of Jisoo’s mentality. A thought came and left, with Jisoo too caught up in organising his papers to recognise it. They really care for me.
As soon as he sat down, as if they never had enough of him, Jeonghan and Junhui leaned over their desks. “So,” Jeonghan hummed, sharing a look with Junhui, “you feel any different, Shua-yah?” Jisoo paused, before widening his eyes, “Yeah… are you thinking about… wait, no, don’t tell me,” Junhui looked almost too excited.
“Choi Seungcheol’s ass?” Jisoo whispered, and Jeonghan sighed. “Guess the fairytale’s true.” the latter rolled his eyes.
Junhui frowned. “Did he guess or are you actually thinking about that?” he tilted his head, adopting a look similar to a confused cat’s. Joshua chuckled at Junhui’s expression, and Jeonghan let out a weary exhale. “He guessed. Because he has this conviction that I am obsessed with—” the trio paused their conversation when Seungcheol began to walk over.
Jisoo leaned in. “Convince me otherwise, and I’ll drop it.” he winked, and Jeonghan just whacked his shoulder.
“Happy Birthday, Jisoo.” Seungcheol hummed in passing, and Jisoo gratefully bowed his head. Once again, Jisoo internally thanked whatever god had diverted Seungcheol’s route so he didn’t have to listen to his boss’ thoughts too.
The day went on with many birthday wishes and small conversations asking him how he feels now that he has left his twenties behind. Jisoo learned the appropriate responses and adopted that winning smile to every new person who offered him good luck before a ‘happy birthday.’ He was getting overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people who seemed to know his birthday, even more so when people from other departments began to send their wishes too. His life was never this loud, never had a birthday been so lively. Unbelievably unused to this entire situation, Jisoo almost cried out of gratitude when it was finally time for his lunch.
He joined Jeonghan and Junhui, sitting down with them to open his gift as they ate their lunch. Tenderly taking out the tiny box from the bag, Jisoo glanced around with a big smile on his face. He felt his lungs squeeze, but he brushed it off. Fingertips shook as he lifted the top of the box off, revealing a beautiful, delicate rose gold bracelet. It was thin and small, but it held so much intricate beauty Jisoo was stunned for a moment. The bracelet was periodically studded with tiny pearls, the whiteness of them popping against the gold. Jisoo immediately hugged both of them, so caught up in the gratitude and his own voice thanking them over and over again that he didn’t hear his friends’ thoughts this time. Maybe for the better.
“I cannot thank you guys enough! This is stunning! Oh, I love it so much. I’m going to wear it everywhere.” he spoke a mile a minute. The other two matched Jisoo’s wide grin, ecstatic that he loved their gift.
Junhui helped Jisoo clasp the bracelet around his wrist, and now that Jisoo had calmed down he heard the murmur of Junhui’s thoughts.
‘YAY!!! I’m so so so happy he likes it!!!’
Jisoo couldn’t help but reply in his own head, Jun-ah, I love it.
The brunette sat admiring his new bracelet, feeling his heartbeat accelerate out of excitement. In these moments, Jisoo felt slightly confused. His heartbeat drummed loudly in his ears but he didn’t find the noise uncomfortable. The calm he was so used to had been - once more - disrupted, however he felt incredibly appreciatory.
For our main character, it was the beginning of Jisoo being pulled out of his own thoughts. The first shuffle beyond the line.
He still has a long way to go.
His admiration was cut short as he saw Junhui and Jeonghan glance away from their lunch and to the top of their table. Jisoo followed their gaze, only to see Seokmin.
Jisoo cleared his throat, subconsciously straightening his shoulders. “Ah, Mr. Lee,” he greeted with overwhelming formality. Seokmin returned the polite greeting, looking like he wanted to say something. There was a slight twitch of his shoulders, and he took out a glove from his pocket. Jisoo’s glove from yesterday.
In all honesty, Jisoo had completely forgotten that he had lost his glove. He was too busy with virtually everything else to even remember he had lost one of his favourite gloves in the office. “Oh, oh! Oh, that’s my glove! Where was it?” Jisoo reached out his hand, just as Seokmin handed over the glove. The taller man offered a curt smile once more as he replied, “It was just outside the lift.”
Their hands brushed against each other as the glove made its way back into Jisoo’s palm.
‘Ah, I’m so glad.’ Jisoo paused, unsure who he was listening to at first. Was it one of his friends? Was his knee touching Jeonghan’s? He hadn’t yet realised that even the tiniest bit of contact would initiate a thought-listening session. Just as he glanced up to look at Seokmin, he heard solidifying evidence these thoughts weren’t his friends’.
‘Thank God you found your owner, glove, haha,’ is this real? Does he really think like that? Jisoo was caught off guard, to the point he almost chuckled out loud. The Seokmin he always assumed was untouchable and serious made little jokes in his head. Cute. Wait. No, that can’t be right.
‘He looks even prettier than yesterday… oh! It must be because…’
“Happy birthday. Take this as my gift.” Seokmin joked.
Hold on. No way.