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Donghyuck knew the routine.
Whenever she received the text from Jaemin she went through the same routine she did every time. She showered, blowdried and curled her hair, and applied her makeup meticulously aiming to impress Jaemin each time.
It was more of a ritual really. The way she wore things Jaemin liked, used the perfume she liked, applied her makeup just for her to appreciate it. It seemed like Donghyuck worshipped her, everything she did was for Jaemin.
This is how she found herself every Friday night, under Jaemin as her hands and lips appreciated the art Donghyuck had painted for her. Donghyuck couldn’t act like she didn’t like it, how Jaemin knew exactly how to make her feel good. But she craved so much more than just this.
She wanted all of Jaemin, not some.
But she knew it was forbidden. When they started hooking up regularly, one rule went unspoken.
Don’t fall in love.
It was easy right? Jaemin was mean, she hurt Donghyuck's feelings at times. She made some rude remarks when they first started hooking up but Donghyuck tried not to mind them, she still made her feel good after all. But that’s what she liked so much about her. That’s why she kept going back even after the first, second, and third time. By the 6th Friday night, Donghyuck’s body was used to Jaemin. It only responded to her, welcoming her touch.
At first it was easy, Jaemin fucked Donghyuck like she was nothing, only for her own pleasure. It seemed like she used Donghyuck as a way for her to relieve her stress, combine all her stressors into one single ball and fuck that into her. And Donghyuck let her, she took it all for Jaemin even if it hurt. She liked the attention, the feeling of being needed, even if it hurt.
But that feeling slowly faded, as Jaemin touched her like she meant it, took her time making her feel as good as she could, thriving off of her pleasure alone. Jaemin complimented her, she noticed the small things Donghyuck did to her makeup, the difference in her outfits, the way she did her hair. The glass of water she’d left on the bedside table after cleaning Donghyuck up, leaving her to take a shower herself.
It only made the fire in Donghyuck’s heart burn greater.
She stared at a distant wall as Jaemin kissed her neck, licking over the faded hickeys from the week before that were still sensitive. Tonight, she couldn’t stop thinking. Her body still responded to Jaemin however, the way she curled her fingers inside her until Donghyuck’s body arched so hard her shoulders lifted off the bed. The whimpers that slipped past her lips when Jaemin circled her tongue around Donghyuck’s nipple, sucking a moan out of her. But her mind was elsewhere, thinking about a future that would never come.
She knew she couldn’t look at Jaemin, the feeling in her heart would burn too harsh, too big to contain. Her eyes closed when Jaemin leaned back up to kiss her, her tongue pressing against hers tasting every corner of her mouth. Jaemin pulled away kissing the corner of her mouth before showering her face with kisses, each one deliberate.
“So pretty, you love getting all dolled up for me, don’t you?” Jaemin whispered into her ear kissing her lobe.
Donghyuck didn’t respond, only a series of moans escaping her mouth as the fingers inside her picked up the pace, Jaemin's thumb circling her clit building her up to her orgasm. Jaemin’s mouth was too busy marking her tan skin, obsessed with the red she brought to the surface of the skin.
“Is there anyone else who makes you feel as good as I do?” Jaemin muttered into her neck, biting so hard into the skin, Donghyuck’s fingers made crescent marks on her shoulder.
Donghyuck shook her head, panting, still avoiding the gaze of Jaemin. She knew Jaemin's eyes were burning holes into her, hungry for all of Donghyuck. But it hurt too much to give that to her. Jaemin licked into Donghyuck’s open mouth, sucking her tongue briefly before sliding her tongue across the roof of her mouth, making Donghyuck’s entire body shiver.
Donghyuck clenched around Jaemin's fingers tightly, finally reaching her climax before catching her breath. She whined as Jaemin’s fingers slipped out of her, rolling over onto her stomach knowing what was next. This part was easy for her, she didn’t have to look at Jaemin. She pulled herself up onto hands and knees listening to the distant sound of Jaemin pulling the harness over her thighs. Donghyuck pressed her face into the soft pillow before her, hearing the sound of Jaemin opening the bottle of lube, slicking it over the rubber of her strap before wiping her hands on the sheets and placing them on her hips. She lined her strap up pressing soft kisses down the smooth skin of Donghyuck’s back.
Her tongue licked over the moles scattered across her back. “You’re so perfect, so perfect for me baby.” Jaemin whispered slowly, easing her tip into Donghyuck watching the way her spine arched.
Donghyuck only pushed her face further into the pillow in an attempt to muffle the sound of Jaemin’s voice. It couldn’t help the ring of her ears when Jaemin said those words. They fell off her tongue so easily, too easy for Donghyuck, but she knew this was all a part of the night, Jaemin never meant it.
Jaemin pushed in deeper and Donghyuck came up for air, moaning loudly at the way Jaemin split her in half like she always did. Why was the burning in Donghyuck’s heart different this time?
“My beautiful girl, you’re all mine.” Jaemin leaned down to whisper, only pushing in deeper, starting to pump in and out of Donghyuck. She buried her face into her neck from behind, inhaling her sweet scent Jaemin adored.
Donghyuck started to feel sick, the pain in her heart starting to become hard to ignore. But she stood her ground pressing her face further into the pillow letting Jaemin fuck her. Donghyuck didn’t notice the tears until they started to wet the pillow beneath her. The pain was too much to bear, the realization hitting her like a ton of bricks. She tried to push it away, to focus on the pleasure Jaemin was giving her, but it was no use. The sobs escaped her throat, racking her body as she cried silently into the pillow.
She tried to hide her sobs but the lack of air had her pulling her face out of the pillow turning her head to breathe and sniffle softly. She had to get herself together, Jaemin can’t see her like this, not right now. Unfortunately for Donghyuck, Jaemin noticed quickly, leaning up to look down at Donghyuck as her sobs subdued into weak sniffles.
“Baby?” Jaemin echoed her thrusts slowing to a stop. Donghyuck only clenched her eyes shut to prevent more tears spilling out of her eyes. It was so easy for Jaemin, but it hurt so much for Donghyuck. “Hey, look at me.” Jaemin combed her soft curls out of her face, pulling her shoulder softly for Donghyuck to turn onto her back.
She obeyed, turning onto her back revealing her tear stained cheeks, her wet eyelashes fanning over her cheeks. Donghyuck kept her eyes closed trying to catch her breath before being interrupted by the feeling of Jaemin’s soft fingers cupping her cheek. It was unlike anything she’s ever felt from Jaemin. It was warm, comforting. It told Donghyuck that she was there, right in front of her, whether she liked it or not.
“Donghyuck.”
That made her open her eyes and stare deeply into the worried ones that looked back at her. Her gaze was filled with care, like she wanted to listen to Donghyuck’s thoughts over and over until she had no more words left to say. Her heart ached, her breath catching in her throat before she realized she was sobbing again. She brought her hands up to cover her face, feeling so embarrassed to cry in front of Jaemin.
She heard the frantic shuffle of Jaemin undoing her harness and letting it fall to the ground before moving on top of Donghyuck again, reaching her hand out to wrap around one of her wrists. “Hey.. hey- what’s wrong?” Jaemin whispered softly. “Did I hurt you? Hyuck I'm so sorry.”
Donghyuck’s sobs only grew louder as she shook her head. She didn’t do anything physically to harm her, but her heart was aching from the way Jaemin pulled at it. It hurt so much, why did it hurt so much?
“Please Hyuck, please look at me. Talk to me.” Jaemin begged, her voice slightly weakening.
Donghyuck shook her head again, her hands dropping from her face and she rolled onto her side pulling her knees to her chest, crying louder than before. Jaemin was confused but there was no use in trying to question a broken girl. Instead, she laid on her side in front of Donghyuck, pulling her into her arms and rubbing her back.
Donghyuck knew this was all wrong, she can’t be like this. Not in front of Jaemin. But it hurt too much for her to fight, so she accepted it.
She buried her face into Jaemin’s chest sobbing quietly. Jaemin only pulled her closer, one hand rubbing her back, the other soothingly combing her hair massaging her scalp.
They laid there for a couple minutes, Donghyuck’s sobs dissolving into quiet sniffles. Jaemin pulled back and looked down at her face, leaning down to press kisses to where her tears flowed down her cheeks. “You’re okay.. I'm here..” Jaemin whispered between kisses as Donghyuck melted further into her touch.
This was enough for Donghyuck. If she couldn’t have Jaemin, she could at least pretend like she did. She buried her face back into Jaemin’s chest, feeling warm as Jaemin reached down to pull a blanket over their bodies. Jaemin reached out to turn off her lamp, the only light seeping through the window, moonlight illuminating their bodies in the dark. She pulled Donghyuck closer, her hand reaching for hers, intertwining their fingers together. Jaemin pulled back looking down at Donghyuck, watching the way her sorrowful eyes fluttered open. She didn’t dare to ask about her feelings, afraid she would break again. Instead, she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek pulling her close once more. They fell asleep like that, bodies intertwined under the soft moonlight closer than they had ever been before. Usually Jaemin would drive her home, but how could she interrupt the passion between them to basically kick the girl out?
٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
When Donghyuck awoke, the warmth from the night before was replaced with a cold emptiness in the absence of Jaemin in the bed. She reached out to the empty spot on the bed running her hand over where Jaemin’s form used to be. Her heart ached as she longed to wake up with Jaemin, roll over and see her beautiful face first thing in the morning. Pressing their chapped lips together, basking in the morning sun while they whispered confessions to each other only they could hear.
But they couldn’t, because they were just hookups. That’s all they were to each other.
Donghyuck gathered the energy to get up out of the bed and make her way into the bathroom to clean herself up. She used Jaemin’s products, smelling like her, almost wanting to become one with her. Using Jaemin’s blow drier, she did her hair not caring if it was messy, she just wanted to get home. When she exited the bathroom, she was surprised to find her clothes from the night before neatly folded on Jaemin’s desk. She slipped into her clothes before grabbing her things and making her way out of Jaemin’s bedroom.
Donghyuck figured Jaemin had left for some reason, they didn't really talk about their personal lives with each other. However, she jumped slightly when she saw Jaemin in the kitchen, focused intently on the food she was cooking. Her long blonde hair fell over her shoulder looking slightly damp as she wore a t-shirt that fell off her shoulder and a pair of panties. Jaemin didn’t notice Donghyuck yet until the phone she held fumbled out of her hand and clattered across the floor. She calmly looked up with a soft smile, in complete contrast to how Jaemin was the night before, making Donghyuck's heart skip a beat. Jaemin was beautiful.
“Good morning, sit.”
Donghyuck listened, like she always did, and set her things down on a stray table before walking over and sitting at the table. She watched as Jaemin prepared the food intently, before walking over and setting the table with numerous side dishes and their meal. She handed her some utensils and served the food to Donghyuck before sitting down and serving herself, beginning to eat quietly. Donghyuck started to eat, her eyes widening at the taste, it tasted good. In the corner of her eye she saw a small white figure move catching her off guard. She turned to see a small fluffy cat walking calmly past the kitchen. Donghyuck smiled to herself even though she was allergic, it was nice to see into Jaemin's personal life.
“Luna.” Jaemin says softly.
“Hm?”
“That’s her name, Lucy and Luke are still sleeping in their room I think.” Jaemin continued to eat.
“Your cats have their own room?”
Jaemin simply nodded like it was normal, but Donghyuck found it sweet nonetheless. Donghyuck tried to go back to eating her food before feeling a fluffy head push into her leg. She looked down to see Lucy rubbing her body against her leg. As much as she wanted to reach down and pet the soft animal, Donghyuck resisted and held back a sneeze that threatened to escape her throat.
“She likes you, you don’t like cats?” Jaemin questioned, sounding slightly offended.
“I’m allergic.”
Jaemin just stood opening a cabinet pulling out a bag of catfood, walking towards a slightly cracked open door and shaking the bag making the two cats pad quickly into the room. After a few moments, Jaemin emerged from the room washing her hands before making her way back to the table to continue eating.
Donghyuck thanked her silently before turning her gaze to fall on the clock on the wall. It was still early for a Saturday morning yet, time felt slower with Jaemin in front of her. It’s like they were in their own bubble, but it mostly felt wrong for Donghyuck. As if he wasn't supposed to be here, as if Jaemin didn't let her sleep in her bed and eat breakfast with her. It was awkward but Donghyuck had never felt so at peace.
“I have to go, I have.. plans.” Donghyuck began finishing up her meal. “Thank you for letting me stay the night.. and for the meal.”
Jaemin simply nodded and watched her struggle with her door before walking out with a soft smile. Donghyuck had no plans, she just knew she needed to get out of there as fast as possible. She made her way home trying to ignore the weird ache she felt in her chest whenever she thought of Jaemin. It couldn’t be helped, she just had to wait for the next Friday night that Jaemin needed her.
(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)
Donghyuck received the text from Jaemin earlier that day, which surprised her. It only confused her more as she read the message on her screen.
‘I’ll pick you up at 8pm, wear something nice.’
Usually Jaemin would text her a short ‘Come over.’ late at night and Donghyuck knew exactly what to do. However this confused her for the most part, but she was also interested. Donghyuck eventually snapped back into reality, immediately getting up to start getting ready. She knew it would take longer for her this time, especially because Jaemin specified she looked nice. Donghyuck did her makeup meticulously, wearing the prettiest dress she could find in her closet, and curled her hair aiming to be beautiful for Jaemin.
All for Jaemin.
She grabbed her purse and slipped on a pair of dainty heels, chewing on the inside of her cheek nervously in anticipation of Jaemin’s arrival. What was the purpose of tonight? Jaemin never picked her up, nor did she ask for her to look a certain way. Her heart dropped when she saw Jaemin pull up to her apartment through the window, her breath unsteady as she made her way downstairs and outside to Jaemin’s car.
Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of Jaemin stepping out of her car, she was beautiful. Jaemin's blonde hair flowed down her back, resting on the fabric of her striped blouse as she circled the car and opened the door for Donghyuck, smiling softly at her. As she made her way back into the driver's side, Donghyuck couldn’t help but appreciate Jaemin's beauty. When she settled in and buckled her seatbelt, an awkward silence filled the car before Jaemin began to drive.
“Sorry I was late, I had a meeting that went a little longer than expected.” Jaemin spoke up. No wonder she looked so professional.
Donghyuck reassured her that it was okay, trying her best to keep her gaze focused on the road. When they stopped at a red light, she felt Jaemin’s eyes burning into her from head to toe and shivered, squirming in her seat.
”You look good.”
”Well you asked me to.” Donghyuck replied, trying her best to ignore the heat that creeped onto her cheeks.
“And you listened.”
They drove in silence for a while, Donghyuck distracting herself by looking outside the window admiring the scenery of the night as the sun set, sky changing into darker hues. Jaemin pulled up to an upscale restaurant, circling the car once more and opening the door for Donghyuck. She took her hand, gently, making Donghyuck's heart flutter with slight uncertainty as she handed her keys to the valet. When they entered, the neatly dressed hosts didn’t hesitate when they saw Jaemin. They simply bowed and led the both of them back to a secluded private table.
Who the fuck was Jaemin?
Sure they didn’t get into each other's personal lives but Donghyuck didn’t know Jaemin was like.. this? She knew she was rich, but not like this. She tried to clear her thoughts as she sat down and placed her purse in her lap looking around the nice restaurant.
“Is it a bit much?” Jaemin broke the silence.
“It’s nice, I like the atmosphere.” Donghyuck replied, her voice small.
“Me too, I come here to relax.”
Jaemin simply reached across the table and fixed the bracelet on Donghyuck’s wrist, the gesture making her toes curl. It was the same old Jaemin, why was Donghyuck squirming like an excited virgin ready to have her first date with a hot rich woman? She never found it difficult before, but now this was confusing her. What was Jaemin trying to do?
“Why’d you bring me here?” She found her voice, eyes widening as she looked at the elaborate dishes on the menu.
“Can’t treat a beautiful woman to a meal?”
“Not one you casually fuck.”
“Fair play.” Jaemin flashed a smile, her teeth perfect. She didn’t bother looking down at the menu, just admiring the way Donghyuck’s eyes struggled to make out the words on the soft card stock.
“I don’t understand any of this.” Donghyuck admitted defeat, laying the menu flat and staring back at Jaemin.
“I’ll order for you. Relax, pretty girl.”
Donghyuck rolled her eyes to mask the feeling she got in her stomach, hot and heavy. She bit her lip watching how Jaemin ordered for the both of them with ease. As the waitress walked off, they were left alone with each other once more, an awkward silence filling the air once again.
“So what do you do?” Jaemin asked with a smile, leaning onto the table, her chin resting on the palm of her hand.
“Huh?”
“For work.”
“What is your game here Jaemin?”
“To get to know you.”
“Why?”
Jaemin didn’t answer right away. She just looked at her.
Really looked at her, like she was trying to memorize something, like Donghyuck was something rare and fleeting and she wasn’t sure she’d get to see it again. It made Donghyuck’s chest tighten in a way she didn’t like, in a way she couldn’t control.
“Because I want to.” Jaemin said simply.
Donghyuck let out a short breath, almost a laugh, but there was no humor in it. “That’s not how this works.”
“Then how does it work?” Jaemin tilted her head, still soft, still patient. “You come over. We don’t talk. You leave before morning. And I pretend I don’t think about you after?”
Donghyuck’s jaw tightened. “You don’t.”
Jaemin smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes this time. “You don’t know that.”
The drinks arrived, saving Donghyuck from finding something to respond with. She immediately reached for hers, taking a longer sip than necessary just to have something to hide behind. She hated the way Jaemin made her feel, how affected she was by simple actions. Her hands felt too warm, her whole body tensing at the way Jaemin spoke and overall carried herself.
This was wrong, to Donghyuck at least.
Not the setting. Not the restaurant, not the dress, not the way Jaemin kept looking at her like that.
Just… this. And whatever it was becoming, whatever Jaemin was pushing for.
“I work at a café, nothing interesting.” Donghyuck muttered finally, eyes glued to the rim of her glass.
Jaemin hummed, like that was the most fascinating thing she’d ever heard. “I’d go every day.”
“Dont.” Donghyuck replied quickly, a little too fast for Jaemin’s liking. “Dont try and— dont make this weird.” She blinked up to meet Jaemins briefly, finding a little hurt in her eyes.
“I’m not making this weird.” She replied gently.
“You are. You picked me up, you brought me here..” she gestured between them her voice becoming slightly frustrated, “..you’re acting like this is something it’s not.” Her voice cracked slightly, Donghyuck’s weakness showing easily.
“Tell me what you see Donghyuck, what is it not?” Jaemin's voice was calm and controlled, her eyes locked on Donghyuck's avoidant eyes.
Donghyuck opened her mouth to reply but the words died on her tongue. She wanted so much to tell the truth, to let out every thought she's been holding in this entire night. The answer was easy and it sat heavy in her throat, too much to let out.
This was anything but real.
With the lack of response, Jaemin leaned back in her chair twirling her hair between her fingers. She studied Donghyuck, watching the way she swallowed nervously and reached out for her already empty drink.
Donghyuck couldn’t meet her eyes. She would prefer if Jaemin got annoyed by her resistance, hell even laughed off this awkwardness. But her gaze was soft, patient, waiting for an answer, too much for Donghyuck.
“You’re scared of me.” Jaemin said softly, a smile in her voice.
Donghyuck immediately scoffed, looking away as if Jaemin had insulted her. “I’m not scared of you.”
Jaemin didn’t pry any further. She just reached out and placed her hand atop Donghyuck's wrist, running her thumb across the smooth skin there. It was slow, slow enough that Donghyuck could’ve pulled away if she wanted to. But she didn’t. Jaemin continued to brush her fingers against her wrist, thumb grazing over her pulse as if she could feel how fast it was beating.
”You are. Not of me, but of this.”
”There is no ‘this’. We hook up, that's it.” Donghyuck said quieter now, like she didn't want to.
Jaemin nodded, like she understood. Like she could hear the thoughts running a million miles a minute in her head. Her fingers didn't move from Donghyuck’s wrist, feeling the small spike in her pulse when she looked up to meet her eyes.
”What if I want more than that?”
”You don't."
Jaemin smiled softly, her grip on her wrist tightening slightly. “You don't get to decide that for me, Donghyuck.”
“I do if it involves me.”
The food arrived, cutting off their back and forth banter. Jaemin didn't pull away right away, just waited for the space on the table to gradually become full. The tension sat thick between them, unspoken and slightly suffocating. Jaemin finally let go of her wrist, picking up her utensils to begin eating.
Donghyuck hated how cold it felt immediately.
“I’m not asking you for anything.” Her utensils scratched against the ceramic of the delicate plate. “I just want to get to know you. Spend time with you. Take you out.”
”So that's called dating.” Donghyuck muttered, her voice slightly annoyed.
“If you want to call it that.” She shrugged.
”I don't."
”Okay.” Jaemin didn’t push, just nodded softly. “Then we won’t.”
Donghyuck frowned slightly. She was used to the Jaemin who would fight to get her way, not the one who complied so easily in that stupid soft voice of hers. “That easy?”
Jaemin glanced at her, something unreadable in her eyes. It was enough for Donghyuck to squirm in her seat and chew on the inside of her cheek.
“I like you, I don’t need a label to do that.”
Donghyuck's throat went dry, she wasn’t expecting that at all. Not only that, but she realized that this is so much worse than she thought it was. Jaemin wasn't cornering her, forcing anything out of her. She wasn't asking for something, demanding something she couldn’t run from.
She was just there. Patiently waiting for Donghyuck to give in.
“Eat up pretty girl.” Jaemin spoke softly, turning her attention back to her own plate.
Donghyuck listened, trying her best to ignore the uneasy feeling in her stomach.
They ate in silence for the rest of the night, Jaemin paying the bill before Donghyuck even had the chance to think about doing so. Jaemin stood waiting for Donghyuck to do the same before resting her hand on the small of her back leading them out of the restaurant. Donghyuck couldn’t help the way her face warmed at the contact, despite everything she knew how badly her body needed Jaemin. Sure she’s had Jaemin's fingers inside her fucking her until she couldn’t form a thought, but she still blushed at her sudden acts of care.
When she had collected her keys from the valet, she helped Donghyuck into the passenger seat, even doing the courtesy of buckling her seatbelt for her. She started the car, the hum of the expensive engine filling the awkward silence as they drove through the quiet city streets.
Donghyuck had her hands folded in her lap, her head turned to look out the window basking in the beauty of the passing scenery. She tried so hard to push down the storm swirling in her chest, distract herself from the pain that only grew whenever she was around Jaemin.
On the other hand, Jaemin seemed to be completely unfazed, her eyes focused on the road basking in the silence between them, suffocating in its weight,
Donghyuck tried to breathe through it, trying to ignore the way Jaemin's eyes briefly disconnected from the road to linger on her. As if waiting for her to say something, waiting for Donghyuck to crack, break the carefully built walls she had put up.
What was the point of all this?
Jaemin had said she liked her, but what did that mean to her? Dinner, the touch on her wrist, the unspoken words, the stolen glances, the soft way Jaemin looked at her across the table? It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Donghyuck was sure of that. She was just a fleeting encounter, a weekly hookup.
That’s all it was.
But now, as they neared Jaemin's penthouse, Donghyuck's pulse began to spike, her thoughts running faster than she could keep up with. Her palms began to sweat, the feeling in her throat only continuing to bubble uncomfortably.
“Are you alright?” Jaemin's voice cut through the tension like a soft whisper, gentle and careful.
Donghyuck didn’t answer right away, just sat there helplessly digging her fingers into her palms as she tried to steady her breath. “I don't know, Jaemin.” She muttered softly, her voice small but tight. “I don't know what you want from me.”
”Im not asking for anything, Donghyuck.” Her voice was quiet but insistent, like she meant it. “I just.. I want you to trust me, you know?”
Donghyuck laughed at that, but there was no humor in it. Just..hurt. “You want me to trust you? You’re fucking kidding, right?”
Jaemin was slightly surprised by her response, her brow furrowed in confusion. She wasn’t used to this Donghyuck, the one who fights back, shows her emotions clearly. “Why would you say that?”
“Because you’ve never given me a reason to!” Donghyuck snapped, turning her body slightly toward Jaemin. “All you’ve ever done is…just fuck me. Use me. That’s it, that’s all it’s ever been. And now, you’re playing at this... whatever the hell this is, acting like we’re anything more than a hookup.”
Jaemin's grip tightened on the wheel, but she didn’t raise her voice. Instead, she just sat patiently and let Donghyuck speak, letting her words hang in the air between them. It was no use to fight back, especially when Donghyuck was in this fragile unreadable state. Even then, Jaemin didn’t want to.
She didn’t want to hurt Donghyuck.
Her breath was shaking now, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Donghyuck wasn't sure if she wanted to keep fighting or just shut down entirely, but she knew for sure that her heart was a mess. “Why now Jaemin? Why this? You’ve never cared about me and you sure as hell never wanted to get to know me. So please just tell me.. what the fuck are we doing?”
Jaemin was silent for a long time, her eyes locked on the road ahead of her. Her words were like a slap to the face, stinging her more than it should’ve. But she didn't lash out, she could never do that to Donghyuck. She could yell at her over and over but Jaemin would never lash out, she cared too much about her to do that. Instead she parked her car outside her building, the engine humming softly as she shifted into park.
Donghyuck's hands clenched into fists in her lap, her nails biting into her palms as the weight of what she had just said settled with her. She hated it. The feeling of her throat tightening, a lump forming there that she couldn’t swallow down. She didn't want to cry, not like this, not in front of Jaemin.
She didn't want to feel any of this.
“Im not playing with you,” Jaemin's voice was low now, like she was speaking from her heart directly into Donghyuck’s. “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life, I’m sorry if it's hurting you.”
Those words hit harder than they should’ve. Donghyuck’s chest tightened, and before she could do anything to stop herself, the tears began to well up in her eyes before spilling onto her pretty cheeks. She bit her lip and turned away in an attempt to hide her tears.
“I don't.. know what to do with all of this,” she whispered, her voice weak and desperate. “I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t.. I can’t do this anymore, Jaemin. It’s too much for me I mean.. I don't even know who you really are, and I'll admit it does scare me. And it hurts me how much I like you.”
Jaemin didn't say anything for a while and god did Donghyuck wish she would. Something, anything to break the tension, to make it easier, to make sense of the storm that continued to stir. But then, softly, Jaemin reached out, her hand finding Donghyuck’s hand, just as gentle as the first time. She soothed her thumb across the crescent prints in her palms before interlocking her fingers with hers.
Donghyuck didn't pull away this time. She let Jaemin comfort her, even as her breath hitched her tears falling freely now. She didn't want to cry, not like this. Especially not in front of Jaemin.
Not when everything felt like it was falling apart straight into Jaemin's arms.
“Im sorry,” She whispered, hanging her head. Her words were choked and broken, filled with pure emotion Jaemin didn't know if she was ready for. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Jaemin’s thumb traced the soft skin of her hand as she spoke, her voice filled with a quiet warmth that calmed Donghyuck’s spiraling thoughts. “I just want you to be real with me. Whatever that means, whatever that looks like for you, Donghyuck. Just don’t shut me out, please.”
Donghyuck sucked in a shaky breath, nodding slowly. “I’m scared,” she admitted quietly, finally letting Jaemin win. “I’m scared of letting you in... because I don’t know what you’ll do with me when you’ve got me.”
Jaemin let go of her hands briefly before cupping Donghyuck’s face, lifting her head up. She looked into her sullen eyes using the pad of her thumb to wipe the soft tears that fell onto her cheeks. “I’m not going anywhere,” she said softly. “You don’t have to be scared of me, not anymore.”
Donghyuck felt the sincerity in her eyes, the softness of her hands against her skin, and the way she wiped away every tear that fell. The way Jaemin looked at her made her chest ache. It wasn’t the kind of ache that made her nauseous, it was the kind of ache that wasn’t painful, just... real.
Jaemin gave her a small, understanding smile, and it was enough.
“Let’s go inside, okay?” Jaemin said quietly, her voice steady and kind.
Donghyuck nodded, unsure of everything, but for the first time tonight, feeling like maybe, just maybe, she didn’t have to figure it all out alone.
They walked in silence all the way up to her apartment. Donghyuck slipped off her heels at the entrance and placed her purse aside on a coffee table. Jaemin did the same, slipping off her shoes and hanging her keys onto the hook before guiding Donghyuck to her bedroom.
It was never like this.
It was never quiet, never slow, never filled with this kind of silence that made Donghyuck aware of every little thing at once. The sound of her own breathing, too loud in her ears. The warmth lingering on her skin from where Jaemin had touched her. The way her chest ached like something inside it had been pulled too tight and left there.
She stood there inside the bedroom without moving any further, like crossing that invisible line would mean something she wasn’t ready to name yet. For the first time since all of this started between them, she didn’t know what she was supposed to do next. There was no familiar rhythm to fall into, nothing expected of her to do.
Just Jaemin, standing a few steps away, watching her with that same quiet patience that had been unraveling her all night.
“Come here.” Jaemin said gently, cautious almost.
Her feet moved before her mind could catch up, slow and hesitant. Each step felt heavier than it should have, like she was walking straight into something that would change the shape of things between them, and maybe that was why her hands trembled slightly at her sides. She stopped just in front of Jaemin, close enough to smell the faint trace of her perfume, but still holding onto that last bit of space like it mattered.
Like she wasn’t already so deeply in love with her.
Jaemin didn’t close the distance right away, she stood there and admired Donghyuck. It was in the way that made Donghyuck feel exposed as if she was reading her mind with those loving eyes of hers. Then, Jaemin reached out slowly, giving Donghyuck time to pull away, before placing her hands on her waist lightly. It was soft and warm, nothing like the firm, certain way she usually held her, and that difference alone made Donghyuck’s cheeks feel warm.
“You’re thinking too much again,” Jaemin murmured.
Donghyuck exhaled softly, her gaze dropping to the space between them. She could look anywhere but Jaemin’s eyes because she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold herself together if she did. “I don’t know how not to.”
“Then don’t,” Jaemin said softly. “Just stay here with me for a second.”
Her fingers curled slowly into the fabric of Jaemin’s blouse, holding on like she needed something to ground her. The contact sent a quiet wave of warmth through her, softer than what she was used to. Jaemin’s grip tightened just slightly in response.
“See?” Jaemin whispered. “You’re okay.”
Donghyuck shook her head, her lips parting as another uneven breath slipped out of her. “I’m really not.”
“I know.” Jaemin smiled softly.
That made her look up despite everything she told herself, and the moment their eyes met, something in her chest tightened so sharply it almost hurt.
Jaemin was already watching her, not with that usual teasing edge nor hunger, but with something softer, something steady and sure in a way that made Donghyuck feel like she was the only thing that existed in that moment. It made her feel seen in a way she hadn’t agreed to, and that scared her more than anything else.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Jaemin didn’t answer right away, her thumb brushing lightly against Donghyuck’s unconsciously that only made her more aware of every place they touched.
“Because you’re right here,” she said finally.
“Hmm.. that’s not an answer.”
“It’s enough for me.”
A small laugh left Donghyuck, but it broke halfway through, her head shaking slightly as she looked away for a second like she needed a break from the contact. “You make everything so.. hard.”
Jaemin’s lips curved just a little, but her eyes didn’t lose that softness. “I think you were already having some trouble.”
Donghyuck’s fingers tightened in her shirt at that, her brows pulling together as she exhaled slowly. “I don’t like not knowing what’s going to happen.”
“Then I’ll tell you.”
Her eyes flicked back up, her heart starting to pound again, louder this time, harder to ignore.
“I’m going to kiss you,” Jaemin said quietly. “Not because it’s what we always do. Not because I expect anything after. I just want to.”
“…and if I don’t know what that means?” Donghyuck whispered.
“Then we figure it out after.”
Donghyuck searched her face, looking for something to push against. But there was nothing there except sincerity, and that was what finally broke whatever fragile resistance she had left.
“…okay.”
Jaemin didn’t move immediately, giving her one last moment, one last chance to step back. But Donghyuck stayed right where she was, her grip still firm in her shirt, her breath shallow but steady enough. So Jaemin lifted one hand from her waist and brought it up to her cheek, cupping it gently, her thumb brushing just beneath her eye where her tears had dried, and the tenderness of it made Donghyuck’s chest ache all over again.
The kiss was soft, softer than anything Donghyuck had ever experienced with her, their lips barely brushing at first like Jaemin was asking instead of taking. It wasn’t rushed or demanding, wasn’t driven by the kind of heat they usually fell into so easily. It was careful, intentional, and that difference made something inside Donghyuck unravel before she could stop it.
Her breath hitched, her fingers tightening in Jaemin’s shirt as she leaned in just slightly, kissing her back in a way that felt unfamiliar and terrifyingly real.
Jaemin didn’t push further, didn’t deepen it until Donghyuck did first. And when she did, it was slow, hesitant at first, then closer, like she was testing the feeling instead of chasing it. Jaemin’s hand stayed steady on her cheek while the other held her at the waist, grounding her without trapping her as she letting her decide how far this went. Donghyuck found herself melting into it despite everything she had told herself earlier.
When Jaemin pulled back for air, Donghyuck pulled her further this time, kissing her like she was losing her mind. Because she was. It was never supposed to be this intimate, this real. But now she couldn’t stop herself from begging for more, despite all the times she got it.
She needed Jaemin.
Jaemin complied easily, kissing her just the way she liked, pressing her tongue against hers before sucking on it briefly releasing it for her to replicate the same. Donghyuck couldn’t help but quietly moan into her mouth at the way Jaemin’s hands roamed up and down her waist through the fabric of her dress.
Jaemin pulled away just enough to whisper against her lips, “Are you sure you want this?”
Donghyuck nodded her head eagerly and that was enough for Jaemin. She motioned towards the bed and led her to lay back onto it while Jaemin did the same. She propped herself up on one elbow looking down at the work of art in front of her.
Donghyuck was so beautiful like this.
Her long carefully curled hair sprawled out on the soft sheets, her slightly puffy eyes and swollen lips from where she’d been biting them. Jaemin reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear basking in the beauty of the eyes that looked up into hers.
“You’re so beautiful.” Jaemin spoke softly before leaning down to seal the compliment with a kiss.
Donghyuck smiled against her mouth before placing a hand on her cheek pulling her closer, kissing her like she was hungry. When the kiss broke, she pulled back just a little, her eyes searching Jaemin’s. It was a silent exchange but Donghyuck could see the desperation in Jaemin’s eyes as she leaned back in to kiss her with more purpose this time.
Jaemin pulled away after a few moments, continuing her ministrations as she kissed down the soft skin of her neck. She was patient and gentle, running her tongue over the sensitive spots she committed to memory. Donghyuck’s fingers found its way in Jaemin's silky hair, tugging softly as she moaned directly into her ear.
“Is this okay?” Jaemin whispered into her ear pressing a kiss to the lobe there.
Donghyuck nodded her head softly in response, waiting for her to continue.
“Words. I need words, Donghyuck.” Jaemin spoke again, lifting her head to look down at her.
“Yes.. god yes Jaemin.”
“Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” Jaemin looked into her eyes pushing her hair out of her face, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to her lips.
”Okay.”
Jaemin latched her lips to her neck again, softly sucking hickeys into the smooth skin. It was slow, calculated, excruciating for Donghyuck but it felt so good. Donghyuck reached up, gripping the fabric of her blouse to ground herself, whining at the feeling of Jaemin's lips momentarily disconnecting from her neck.
Donghyuck opened her eyes watching how Jaemin unbuttoned her blouse, tossing it somewhere behind her. Her hands immediately were on her, running up and down the smooth skin of her back while she tied up her long silky hair. It always shocked her how soft her hair was despite not being her natural color, but Donghyuck didn’t care to think about that right now as Jaemin resumed her ministrations on her neck.
Jaemin’s hands traced the zipper of her dress breaking away momentarily to look up into her eyes, desperate and needy. “Can I take this off?”
“You don’t need to ask me Jaemin.” Donghyuck responds, her heart fluttering at Jaemin’s sudden gentle kindness.
“Just want to make this good for you.” She responds by sliding the zipper down kissing the newly exposed skin on her chest.
As Donghyuck manoeuvred her body to slide the rest of her dress off, Jaemin leaned back to admire the sight. She couldn’t help but bite her lip at the way Donghyuck looked, bare and laid out for her in nothing but her matching lace undergarments. Sure she’s seen her multiple times like this but it was different this time, everything was so different about tonight.
So Jaemin took her time, leaning back in to kiss her mouth this time her hands coming to rest on her waist. She couldn’t help but slide her tongue across her bottom lip begging for entrance while Donghyuck complied easily, moaning into her mouth while Jaemin pulled her in closer as a reward. Their tongues moved languidly against one another’s, Donghyuck’s hand coming up to tangle in Jaemin's hair loosening the bun she had created.
In response, Jaemin slid a hand down her waist to push her legs apart, her fingers pressing against her clothed pussy making Donghyuck’s back arch slightly. She moaned into Jaemin's mouth pulling away momentarily to catch her breath, her half lidded eyes finding Jaemin’s hungry ones. She bit her lip as Jaemin began moving her fingers against her, easily feeling how wet she was through the damp lace.
Jaemin busied her mouth against Donghyuck’s neck, kissing and licking over the hickeys she had created beforehand causing Donghyuck to shudder. Her hands tightened around Jaemin's hair, pulling her head back to expose her neck. Jaemin's lips left the skin, tracing a path back up to her mouth. Their tongues danced against one another, the pace increasing as Jaemin's fingers continued to work against Donghyuck's skin. Her non-busy hand came up to unclip her bra, sliding it off her arms as her mouth trailed down to tease her areola making Donghyuck’s back arch off the bed.
Donghyuck’s hand tightened in Jaemin's hair a string of breathy moans leaving her as the pleasure of Jaemin's mouth teasing her paired beautifully with the increased pressure of Jaemin’s against her pussy. She couldn’t keep this up much longer, her climax approaching earlier than it should.
Jaemin knew that.
Which is why she slipped her fingers into the delicate lace collecting the wetness onto her fingers before slowly sliding in her fingers whilst taking Donghyuck’s nipple into her mouth fully. Her hips greedily moved against Jaemin’s hand, moans filling the room as Jaemin's tongue circled her nipple and sucked briefly before moving to repeat the action on the other.
“Oh my god.. Jaemin.. I can’t-“ She gasps feeling warm all over greedily trying to push Jaemin’s arm harder against her.
Jaemin does so, her thumb coming up to press against her clit as she curls her fingers inside her making Donghyuck see stars. She could barely think right now, the only thing on her mind was coming all over Jaemin’s fingers. She could only helplessly moan as the pleasure while Jaemin disconnected from her chest to kiss her again, all teeth and tongue this time. Donghyuck could barely kiss back, the pleasure becoming too much as her climax approached.
“I can’t Jaemin.. I'm so close.” Donghyuck moaned into her mouth, feeling Jaemin smile softly.
“I know, baby.” Jaemin increased the pressure, her thumb circling her clit harder as her fingers massaged her insides finding the spot that made Donghyuck cry out. “I’ll take care of you.”
Just a few more jerks of Jaemin’s fingers and she’s coming, tossing her head back against the pillow as her vision goes white making a mess of her fingers. She chants Jaemin’s name like a mantra, coming down from her orgasm while the fingers don't stop moving inside of her.
Donghyuck doesn’t know how long it takes for her to come back to her senses, but when she does it’s to the feeling of Jaemin’s tongue sliding over her hickeys. She feels her mouth slide all the way up to hers, kissing her sweetly while the fingers continue to move inside her. She whimpers softly into Jaemin’s mouth as she starts to feel overstimulated tapping her wrist to stop.
Jaemin pulls her fingers out of her, pulling away to lick the slick off of them before being interrupted by Donghyuck grabbing her wrist. Jaemin watches as she brings her fingers to her mouth, pressing them onto the flat on her tongue, sucking her fingers clean. Jaemin responds by pressing her fingers down on her tongue, leaning in to lick into her open mouth. Somehow, the taste of her is sweeter than before, messy but so good. After a few moments Jaemin pulls away and watches as Donghyuck gasps for air and visibly swallows a couple of times.
Jaemin cleaned her own hand with her mouth, wiping her hand on the sheets before pulling Donghyuck into a searing kiss. She moved to get on top of her, not expecting the hand that pushed her back. Jaemin let it happen, breaking the kiss as she laid back watching Donghyuck move on top of her straddling her hips. She rested her hands on her hips, letting herself be kissed by Donghyuck.
“What are you doing?” Jaemin murmured between kisses.
“Wanna.. make you feel good unnie..” Donghyuck breathed out giving her a final kiss before focusing on her neck, immediately sucking a hickey into the skin.
This was different, for both Jaemin and Donghyuck. But Jaemin didn’t mind it, she loved it actually. She ran her fingers through Donghyuck’s soft hair feeling her moan against her neck. In her nights with Donghyuck, she came to learn that she is very sensitive. Anywhere Jaemin touched her, Donghyuck loved it, she was so responsive. So Jaemin ran her hands down her back and squeezed her ass, feeling Donghyuck bite down on her neck. They both let out a moan, Donghyuck’s one out of pleasure, Jaemin's one out of pain.
They were perfect for each other.
Donghyuck snaked an arm behind Jaemin to unclip her bra, sliding it off her arms before wrapping her lips around her nipple, looking up to make eye contact with Jaemin. Her tongue swirled around her nipple eliciting a moan out of Jaemin, soft and delightful. Jaemin’s hands came up to tangle in Donghyuck’s hair again, tugging softly out of pleasure. Donghyuck sucked softly before pulling again and blowing air on the nipple, smiling as Jaemin whined softly.
It was nice to get noises out of Jaemin, she didn’t hear them often when they were fucking, probably because she was too busy.. being fucked. However, making Jaemin feel good has her feeling euphoric, loving the way she could barely hold back her noises.
Donghyuck’s hand came up to massage her other breast, thumb toying with her nipple while her mouth was busy with the other. She looked up to find Jaemin’s eyes as her hips grinded up into Donghyuck’s ass, a groan escaping her lips while her hands tightening in Donghyuck’s hair. She detached from her chest, leaning back up to kiss Jaemin with swollen lips. Jaemin relaxed her fingers in her soft locks, cupping Donghyuck’s face as she kissed her sweetly, tongues pressed against each other moaning into the other's mouth.
“Unnie..” Donghyuck murmured against her lips.
“Hm?”
“Wanna taste you.. please..”
Jaemin pulled away looking into Donghyuck’s sincere eyes, filled with pure lust. She gave her a soft nod awkwardly shuffling out of her pants. Donghyuck pressed wet kisses down her chest, stopping just below her navel. She teased her tongue around the skin there looking up to find Jaemin biting her lip, her eyes half lidded.
She spread her thighs, sucking the skin between them just below where Jaemin wanted her the most. She let out a soft moan, her hands coming to tangle in her hair for the millionth time tonight, she loved how soft it was. Donghyuck marked the skin between her thighs loving the way Jaemin tugged on her hair begging for more. Donghyuck looked up at her before pressing the flat of her tongue against the fabric of her panties, making Jaemin's back arch.
Jaemin couldn’t hold back her moans this time, her eyes rolling back to her head as Donghyuck licked and sucked over the sweet cotton. “Please baby.. don’t tease me.” She moaned out, pushing the hair out of her eyes to look into them.
Donghyuck hooked her fingers into her panties sliding them down her thighs. She couldn’t help but marvel at the sight of Jaemin’s glistening pussy, ready for Donghyuck’s mouth. Her mouth is immediately on her, lapping up all that escaped her pretty hole before latching her lips around her clit sucking softly. Jaemin moaned loudly, arching her back into Donghyuck’s mouth, tugging on her hair. The feeling of Donghyuck moaning into her pussy was delightful, Jaemin groaning in response.
“You taste so good, unnie..” Donghyuck pulled away licking up the mess she made. “Does it feel good for you?” She kissed the inside of her thigh looking up at her with watery eyes.
“So good for me baby, you’re so perfect.” Jaemin breathed out running her thumb across her cheek, admiring how beautiful she looked like this, so eager to make Jaemin feel good.
Donghyuck smiled up at her before leaning back in sucking Jaemin’s clit, feeling the way her hands tightened in her hair again. Her hand came up softly stroking where her lips didn’t reach, slipping a finger into her hole. She flicked her tongue across her clit adding another finger feeling the way Jaemin’s pussy clenched around them.
Jaemin was a blabbering mess, her climax approaching quicker than she thought. “Fuck baby.. just like that, so close for you.” Jaemin was completely at Donghyuck’s mercy, only able to moan helplessly at how good Donghyuck was eating her.
That encouraged Donghyuck, the pace of her fingers increasing curling just to hit that spot to make Jaemin scream. One more suck of her clit and Jaemin is coming, the sound of her crying out Donghyuck’s name making her feel accomplished. She fucked her through her orgasm, drinking up all that escaped her fluttering hole.
Donghyuck was pulled up to meet Jaemin’s lips, tongue licking over her lips to clean up the mess over her lips. Jaemin kissed her properly, sucking on her tongue briefly, releasing it for her to do the same. Donghyuck loved kissing her like this, spent and lazy but so sweet.
Jaemin pulled back to look at Donghyuck, admiring how beautiful she looked. The way her mascara smudged under her watery eyes, the slight flush of her cheeks, the sight of her swollen parted lips. She was perfect, perfect for Jaemin.
“Was it good unnie?” Donghyuck breathed out looking back at Jaemin with stars in her eyes.
“You did so good.” Jaemin said softly, sealing it with a kiss.
Just as Jaemin tried to get up and grab her strap, Donghyuck pushed her back onto the bed. She didn’t understand until Donghyuck slid one of her legs under her thigh, the other one still propped over Jaemin’s thigh. Jaemin didn’t have time to process what was happening before she felt Donghyuck’s pussy pressed right against hers.
Jaemin let out a guttural moan, her eyes rolling to the back of her head, laying back as she could barely handle the pleasure. Donghyuck whined as she slowly grinded her hips against Jaemin, sending a shock of need through her entire body. She looked down at Jaemin finding her hand and intertwining her fingers with hers.
“Feels.. so so good.. Donghyuck..” Jaemin moaned out her hips attempting to move in sync with hers.
Donghyuck reached down to prop Jaemin’s leg onto her shoulder, pressing soft kisses into her calf while she grinded down harder against her pussy. It was all so lewd, the slick noises of their wet cores pressing against each other in a heavenly rhythm, the breathy high pitched moans that left Jaemin’s mouth pairing well with Donghyuck’s whimpers.
It was so beautiful.
“Feels good? Unnie— I’m so close..are you close?”
“So good baby.. I’m so close, gonna come so hard for you..” Jaemin groaned while reaching up to massage her tits softly, her thumbs teasing back and forth over her nipples.
“Fuck unnie.. I can’t.. I’m gonna—“
“You got me baby, I’m here.. please come with me.” Jaemin pulled her down to meet her lips, greedy tongues finding each other easily.
Donghyuck kissed back greedily, grounding herself by sucking on Jaemin’s tongue. She couldn’t take it much longer, her climax coming in so hard she was starting to get dizzy, barely able to kiss Jaemin back, settling for burying her face into her neck. “I love you Jaemin, fuck I love you so much..”
At that moment the both of them came apart, Jaemin cried out as Donghyuck muffled her moans against her skin. A few more grinds of her hips before Donghyuck collapsed against her, relishing in the mess between their thighs. Jaemin held her close, stroking her hair softly, the realization of what Donghyuck had said not hitting her yet. And when it did, she had no time before Donghyuck was fast asleep snoring softly against her neck. Jaemin waited a few moments, letting Donghyuck fall into a deep sleep before rolling her onto her back and cleaning them both up, being sure not to wake the other up.
When Jaemin returned to the bed, Donghyuck immediately found Jaemin’s body, even in her sleep. She pushed her face into her neck mumbling something incoherent in her state, Jaemin leaned back to listen.
“What was that?” Jaemin asked softly, looking over Donghyuck’s sleepy eyes opening in the moonlight seeping through the window.
“I didn’t.. mean to-“
“I love you too, Donghyuck.” Jaemin stroked her hair softly before leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead, pulling her back into her neck.
Donghyuck didn’t complain, just smiled against Jaemin’s neck and fell back asleep, addicted to the way she massaged her scalp.
Donghyuck loved Jaemin, and Jaemin loved her back. That was enough for her.
٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و
When the sunlight seeped into the bedroom, Donghyuck stirred softly but felt something.. different. Instead of the cold empty bed she was used to, Jaemin’s arms were wrapped around her body pulling her in her chest like her own personal teddy bear.
Memories from the night before hit her harder than she was ready for, the date, the crying, the sex (really good by the way), and most importantly.. her confession. Donghyuck’s heart beat quickened, slowly untangling her body from Jaemin’s and standing to get dressed quickly. When she finally got her undergarments on, the feeling of warm arms hugging her from behind caught her completely off guard.
“Leaving so soon?” Jaemin whispered in her sleep riddled voice, kissing the soft skin of her neck.
“I-.. I have to be somewhere.”
“No you don’t, not this early.” Jaemin ran her hands over her smooth skin, propping her chin on Donghyuck’s shoulder. Donghyuck stayed silent, her hands coming to rest over Jaemin’s. “You can shut me out all you want but please don’t tell me that it didn’t mean something to you.” Jaemin’s voice was sincere, enough to make Donghyuck turn and face her.
“It did.” She whispered softly. “I’m sorry I don't know what I'm doing anymore..”
Jaemin shushed her, pressing a finger to her lips. “Enough apologies, just keep me company for today? It’s too early to be running away from me, besides we haven't even had breakfast yet.”
Donghyuck laughed softly at Jaemin’s complaints before nodding softly, letting herself be pulled back into the bed. Jaemin clinged to her like a koala, pulling her into her chest wrapping her limbs around her. Jaemin kissed the crown of her head, her eyes finding Donghyuck’s looking up at her. She ran her fingers through her hair, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to her lips.
“I really do mean it.” Jaemin assured her.
“Mean what?”
“I love you, Donghyuck. I always have.”
Her breath hitched softly, tears welling in her eyes as she pouted softly. “Really?”
“You’re such a baby.” Jaemin kissed her cheek, her heart warming at the way Donghyuck giggled and burying her face into her neck out of embarrassment.
Donghyuck let herself melt into Jaemin’s arms, feeling the steady rise and fall of her chest as if the world itself had settled into their small cocoon.
Love, she realized, was not always a simple declaration shouted into the void. Sometimes it was this quiet gravity, pulling two people together until there was no more fear and distance, just care. Seeping through the window, the sunlight touched the edges of the room, painting everything in a soft yellow color. But inside, between their bodies the warm light came from within, from the simple certainty of being held and holding back in return.
With that, Donghyuck understood that she had not lost herself in Jaemin. She had only finally found the place she had been searching for all along, and it was love.