Chapter Text
The Altana Gate smelled like ozone and impending doom. And also like the cat’s asshole in which half of Gintoki’s soul had been sucked into and died subsequently.
It was supposed to be a standard "stop a crazy group from blowing up the planet" Tuesday. But naturally, when Sakata Gintoki and Hijikata Toshirou are forced into a confined space near a pulsating vein of Earth’s literal life-blood, things just have to take a bad turn.
“I’m telling you, Oogushi-kun, if you had just stepped to the left, my wooden sword wouldn't have gotten lodged in the control panel!" Gintoki yelled, his voice echoing against the shimmering green crystalline walls of the lower Terminal.
"Who are you calling ‘Oogushi-kun’, you permhead?! And maybe if you weren't trying to loot the decorative gold trim while the countdown was active, we wouldn't be trapped in a feedback loop!"
They were pressed chest-to-chest in the narrow crawlspace, the air thick with the scent of cheap tobacco and even cheaper strawberry milk. And ozone. And the cat’s- Yeah, yeah, we get it Author-san! How many times will you say it, huh? Want me to cut your budget like the half of my soul that got sucked into- (We haven’t been allotted any budget, Gin-san.) Shut it, Patsuan!
The Altana below them was glowing, thrumming even. It felt like a heartbeat—heavy, wet, and ancient. Emitted the kind of energy that bridged gaps. It certainly bridged the gap between Gintoki’s fingers digging into the leather of Hijikata’s vest and the way Hijikata’s breath hitched, hot and sharp, against Gintoki’s neck.
Then, the Gate burped.
There’s no other word for it. A massive surge of pure existential energy slammed into them, weaving through their DNA. It was a physical weight, a heat that bypassed skin and went straight for the marrow.
Both men felt a strange, terrifying tug in their lower gut. Hijikata gasped, his eyes blowing wide, his hands clutching Gintoki’s shoulders so hard the white fabric almost tore. For a second, it felt like their bodies had become one with each other, like Alexa announcing “Bluetooth connected; Your device is ready to pair." Do we even have Alexa in our universe?
“Oi,” Gintoki wheezed, the light fading as the Gate stabilized. “Tell me that was just a very intense static shock and not... you know. Plot development.”
Hijikata didn't answer. He was staring at the space between them, where a faint, silver cord of light was slowly dissolving into their skin.