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Dear Dean,
In my time on earth I have come to learn many things about the human race. Recently I discovered letters, people often write them when they are unable to find the correct words to say. Or when they feel unable to say the words they so desperately wish to. It appears that these letters mostly go unread, as I understand it, they serve more as a personal release.
Recent events have made me feel the need to try it, so I’m writing to you while you sleep across the room from me. It almost feels like speaking to you.
You’ve been praying to me again Dean.
It feels as if it has been a millennia but I hear you. I hear every word you pray in my name. I’m not really sure if you even know that I do but I fear that you may stop if I told you.
I don’t want you to stop Dean.
It’s the closest I have felt to you in such a long time.
You pray the most just before you fall asleep.
You’re scared but you won’t let Sam know, you feel you have to be strong for him. So in those moments, when the fear creeps up on you, you call out to me, you ask me to stay by your side. To help you through the night.
I wish I could do more for you, I want to reach out and show you that I’m not leaving.
I could never leave you.
But I don’t.
I don’t reach out because I know you wouldn’t know how to respond, not yet, you still need time. If I came to you now and tried to hold you through the anxieties, you might slip away from me completely.
So I’ll wait.
I’ll listen.
As much as it pains me to see you suffer.
I’ll wait.
I’ll always wait.
Castiel