Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Living alone was new to Jeno. 

He grew up in a relatively large household: both parents and three older sisters - as well as their three cats. The house was never quiet, nor did he ever really have much space to himself. Then, once he got old enough and entered university, Jeno lived with three of his friends to minimise the cost of rent. They all fit in a small apartment, thankfully saving a bit on space since two of his friends were together and hence shared a bed. 

So then, after finally graduating and spending a year getting a steady foothold on his life, Jeno finally made the big move out, for the first time in his life getting the chance to exist in his own space. No more reason to keep his existence to the bare minimum, all his belongings always able to be fit in one or two boxes. 

This time, he could be alone.

He moved out after saving enough for a deposit, not caring all too much about the neighbourhood as long as it wasn’t too rough. He just needed a roof over his head and decent transport links to get to work. Besides, he planned on moving again probably within the next two or three years, hopefully nestling himself a good spot at the company with a sure fire path towards promotion. Sure, he wasn’t all too eager right now to be given too much responsibility at work, but Jeno had plans for himself. All in due time. 

The apartment block he moved into was a newer build, albeit further out from the city centre which dropped the prices just enough to tempt Jeno. As for his actual apartment it was all he really needed: an open planned living area with a usable kitchen, a living room that could fit a couch and a T.V, and a little area he could fit a dining table or just keep empty to make the space feel larger than it really was. There was one bathroom and a bedroom that could fit a bed, a wardrobe and even a desk if he really wanted to. hoo

Jeno was used to keeping himself in far smaller spaces, so honestly the apartment felt like a palace. 

The location wasn’t all that bad either; it was a fifteen minute walk to the nearest subway station, there were convenience stores nearby, and there was even a gym along the route of the local bus, taking about twenty minutes to get there. 

Jeno was set.

He moved in with the help of his friends, happy that at least one of them finally had the guts to take the next big step in adult life. They were loud and boisterous, embarrassing Jeno as they hogged all the space on the passage way, obscuring the path for other residents whilst they were still lugging Jeno’s boxes inside. Jeno found himself apologising to his new neighbours and shushing his friends before they made him the talk of the block. 

There were a few misses too with his friends hauling heavy boxes up - boxes and furniture they could barely handle; Jeno could count at least five instances where he thought the large flower pot standing outside by the banister would end up smashed to bits thanks to his well meaning helpers.

Thankfully, nothing broke in the process. 

But after a while, Jeno settled in without any issues. He unpacked his already limited belongings, feeling strange as he looked at how empty the space seemed. All he really had were some clothes, his university diploma, a few books and printed photos of his family. Not much to make this new living space feel like home. 

So over the coming weeks, on his way back from work he would stop by furniture shops or order online, shaping his apartment into the place he always dreamed of having. A few easily maintained plants to put on his shelves and bedside table, new throw pillows and blankets, and wall art to cover the plain white walls. He liked the sleek, refined look, keeping to darker tones and colours. 

Bit by bit, his new home emerged as a place he wanted to return to at the end of the day. 

As for his neighbours… Well, Jeno didn’t really know them. He was always a bit more of a homebody so other than when he went to work or to the gym, he mainly kept to himself and his apartment. There wasn’t much of a reason to really venture outside and befriend his neighbours even if the idea did sound fairly nice in theory; back when he lived with his parents, his mum was close to the family living two doors down and technically that was how Jeno met one of his closest friends - Donghyuck. 

But the thought of making the first move made him uncomfortable. Jeno really wasn’t the sociable type, only really stepping out of his comfort zone when it came to finding a guy to keep him company for the night. Of course, given his track record of living in crowded spaces, he always was the one invited over, not wanting to subject his friends and flatmates to all the sounds that a night with a stranger entailed. 

Hookups and friendships were different though, and the former didn’t require anything more than a few interested looks and coy smiles. Not really the ideal way to build any lasting bonds with neighbours, that was for certain. 

Jeno was sure that the apartment next to his left was occupied by a guy close to his age. He only saw him a few times briefly - the first time being when Jeno moved in and his friends were being a menace. But other than that, he didn’t really see him much. As for the right, Jeno actually wasn’t sure. It might have even been empty for all he knew. That or occupied by another hermit like himself. Who really knew? Who really cared?

What really mattered was that he had peace and quiet in his living space. There was no annoying and obnoxious music blasting from anywhere and nobody bothered him. Honestly, that was good enough for him. 

So he went on with his life, content with where he was. 

In the mornings, he made his way to work, spending hours at the office at a job he tried his hardest to get. Then, at the end of the day he made his way back, stopping by at the gym on some days if he felt he still had it in him. And if he didn’t, he would make up for it over the weekend. 

He checked his mailbox in the lobby frequently, usually after he got back from work. Most of the time it was filled with nothing more than promotional pamphlets that he just tossed away. There was no reason for him to get anything else. 

When he got to the mailbox on an otherwise uneventful Wednesday evening, Jeno found that it was more packed than usual. Confused, he pulled out the letters, his eyebrows furrowed as he scanned through them. As soon as he read who they were addressed to, however, it made sense. 

“Na Jaemin,” he uttered softly, flipping through the stack of letters all addressed to him. The apartment and floor would be the one right next to him, finally revealing the name of his neighbour. All in all, it just seemed like an easy mixup. 

Jeno double checked that he had the correct numbers on the letters before he decided to start slipping them back into the correct box. 

Two letters in, he felt somebody standing behind him.

“I hope that’s not spam,” the man uttered, causing Jeno to quickly whip right around, spinning on his heel. Now facing the other man, he quickly came to recognise him as none other than his neighbour. Even though he had only seen him briefly before, he could still tell it was him. After all, the man was rather easy on the eyes: plump lips, clear skin, long eyelashes and deep brown eyes which reeled Jeno right in. 

He looked at Jeno with an unusual gaze, the corners of his lips raised ever so slightly in a smile. Jeno didn’t know what to make of it, but he at least was certain that the man wasn’t actually annoyed by him, his expression closer to amused than anything else. His posture was relaxed too, hands tucked into the pocket of his jeans, the waistband sinfully tight around his lithe frame. 

“I- Sorry,” Jeno uttered, holding onto the letters. “I think the postman mixed these up,” he explained, offering the small stack over to the man. “Na Jaemin, right?”

“The one and only,” Jaemin replied, his smile growing just enough for his pearly teeth to peek out from behind his pink, glossy lips. “Thank you,” he added, taking what belonged to him from Jeno’s hands, their fingertips brushing momentarily. “Not that I expect these to be anything more than the usual quick reads. You must be my neighbour then?” 

Jeno nodded. “Lee Jeno,” he stated. “Moved in recently.”

Jaemin hummed, tucking the letters into the pocket of his bomber jacket without much care. “Though so,” he mused. “I think I saw when you were moving in. Quite a lively gaggle of movers you had with you.”

Embarrassed, Jeno glanced down at the floor, the tips of his ears reddening. “Yeah… Those would be my friends. Once they get going you can’t really shut them up,” he admitted with a faint chuckle, daring himself to look back up at Jaemin. “Anyway, it’s nice to meet you.”

Jaemin’s eyes did something strange, though Jeno couldn’t quite explain what it was. They seemed to simultaneously soften, a bright glimmer to them, whilst also getting sharper. A single look caused Jeno to suck in a sharp breath, feeling like he had somehow walked into some sort of trap. Not that that made any sense. Jeno was just not used to dealing with impromptu meetings so he wrote it off as nothing more than his own awkwardness messing with his perception. 

“Yeah. It’s nice to meet you too, Jeno,” Jaemin replied, head tilting slightly to his side as he met Jeno with a warm smile. “Are you going up or are you on your way out?” He asked, his eyes scanning Jeno still dressed in his suit. “Somewhere fancy, perhaps?”

Jeno snorted, shaking his head. “I just got back from work,” he explained. “And this isn’t fancy; it’s just office attire.”

“Well, you certainly make it work,” Jaemin said, a hint of something far darker than just playfulness tinting his voice. He stepped forward to unlock his mailbox, finding nothing more in there as if the postman did in fact cram all of his letters into Jeno’s box by mistake. “Looks like that’s all for me. You mind if I walk up with you?”

Funny thing to ask. “No. I don’t mind.”

And so the two men made their way up. One of the lifts was currently out of operation and the other was already on its way up. Not feeling in the mood to wait, the men walked up the staircase; they didn’t live that high up so the climb up wasn’t all that brutal. 

“Are you a student?” Jeno asked one flight of stairs behind them. Jaemin definitely looked like he fit the part: young, dressed casually, still a spark of life behind his eyes.

However, his laugh quickly answered Jeno’s question. “No,” he said. “Though I’ll take the question as a compliment,” he mused with a bright smile, batting his eyelashes as if Jeno had just called him young and gorgeous. It made Jeno chuckle, finding the man next to him rather odd - but odd in a pleasant way. “I work - just not in a typical suit and tie office,” he explained. “I mainly work from home too since there’s no reason for me to travel; it’s all tech stuff anyway.”

“Oh. That sounds nice.”

Jaemin hummed. 

“Though I thought tech jobs would pay… well, enough to live somewhere nicer,” Jeno mused.

Jaemin shrugged, partly agreeing with Jeno. “I just don’t feel the need to move anywhere else if I’m honest,” he admitted, still two flights left for them to get through. “I’d rather save up and then buy my own place later on. Or like… use it for holidays or things like that. It’s not like this is a dump or anything.”

“Fair.”

They didn’t exchange much else once they reached their floor. Still, Jeno found Jaemin to be a relatively nice guy - definitely not the worst person to have as his nextdoor neighbour. 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around,” Jaemin said.

“Yeah. See you around.”

And that was that. 

***

After their first meeting, Jeno did spot Jaemin far more often. Perhaps it was due to the fact he actually knew him now, recognising him much easier on a day to day basis. He would spot him in the convenience store stocking up on snacks and the necessities, their eyes locking from across the aisle. Jaemin would wave and Jeno would wave back, a smile creeping up on his face. He didn’t really know why, but something about Jaemin’s attentive gaze always caused his stomach to flip. 

Maybe Jeno really just needed to get laid already. 

It had been a while, after all. With his recent move he spent quite some time settling in, not giving himself much time to really focus on his own needs. The most he got around to doing was getting himself off in the shower after a particularly long and gruelling day at work, needing some sort of release before he lost his mind. 

He probably needed to go out soon.

As for their more frequent meetings, Jeno also spotted Jaemin at the gym. It didn’t really surprise Jeno to see him there; Jaemin was a well built guy, sculpted and bulky. Where Jeno was mainly lean muscle, Jaemin was softer - deceptively so. Jeno got to witness it first hand as he watched Jaemin’s arms flex, his chest large as he worked on the shoulder press. It was quite the sight. 

On a few occasions they made their way back to the apartment block together, sitting next to each other on the bus. Jeno was too tired to really talk so he let Jaemin do the bulk of the work, only really chuckling and reacting with nods or hums to whatever Jaemin said. As it stood, Jaemin knew how to fill in the silence for the both of them without any complaints so that worked rather well in Jeno’s favour. 

All in all, he ended up getting actually quite close to Jaemin over the two months since their real first meeting at the postbox. 

Honestly, Jaemin seemed like the perfect guy to have as a neighbour. He was sweet, friendly, and eager to help Jeno whenever he saw him. He offered to carry some of Jeno’s grocery bags up even though Jeno could manage perfectly fine on his own. Yet he still agreed nevertheless, finding an excuse to talk to Jaemin some more before the end of the day. They also occasionally worked out together at the gym, spotting for each other or running on treadmills side by side.

Jeno came to appreciate the company, because even though he was an introvert for the most part, he came to like the presence of another person by his side. Maybe not constantly, but not infrequently enough to feel complete isolation. 

And when he and Jaemin weren’t together, Jeno made time for his friends too. Some of the time they came over to his place to see how he had settled in, but for the most part Jeno was the one to go visit them at his old apartment. It was common for him to stay the night, sleeping on the couch since his old room had already been repurposed for a mixture of Donghyuck and Jisung’s gaming room and Renjun’s little quiet corner - ironic considering how often the former were locked up in there on their stupid games. 

Not that Jeno was complaining, dealing with the sofa just fine. 

By the time spring was in full bloom, Jeno thought that his life was in enough order for him to finally start expanding his horizons. And by that, what he actually meant, was that he was ready to finally start taking care of his needs. 

He woke up on Saturday with a very clear plan in his mind. For the most part he stuck to his typical routine by now, having breakfast and washing up before taking a small detour and heading to the convenience store to stock up. After all, with all of his hookups taking place at some other guy’s place he never really had much of a need for more than lube for himself. 

Even at his grown age he still found the concept of buying condoms humiliating, feeling judged by the store clerk ringing his items up amidst the few random snacks and a canned coffee he bought as a treat for later. What was more harrowing than that, however, was being spotted picking out condoms by his neighbour.

It was strange to see Jaemin at the store, not expecting him there even though arguably going shopping wasn’t that strange of a thing. Besides, it was a convenience store so Jaemin was likely there for something trivial - just like Jeno. Still, when their eyes briefly met, Jeno felt horrified. Ashamed, actually, not that there was anything to be ashamed of in the first place.

Yet when Jaemin’s eyes flickered down and fell upon the box in Jeno’s hand, something definitely happened. Like a switch being flipped, Jaemin’s usual expression - his warm and natural smile, the calm pool in his eyes - momentarily shifted. A disturbance in the ecosystem, crashing through his tranquil and easy visage. But just as soon as it came, it vanished, greeting Jeno with a curt nod and smile that didn’t fit Jaemin’s face quite right - forced on for the sake of politeness. 

Strange and awkward. But then again, how else would one react to seeing their neighbour stocking up on condoms and lube? Jeno would be horrified too. 

Again, not that there was anything wrong with it, but it was just… weird. Nobody really wanted to think of their neighbour fucking someone. And now that he thought about it, Jeno wondered just how thin the walls of the apartment were. Probably not that thin since he hadn’t heard anything from either of his neighbours yet, but now he was worrying about that too.

Perfect. Just what he wanted. 

Slightly mortified, Jeno made his way back to the apartment as fast as he could. 

Once home, Jeno unpacked and mentally prepared himself for the rest of the day. But he still had a few hours before he would realistically head out, not really in the mood for a 2pm fuck. That was way too early. And so he cleaned the house and got on top of his chores, feeling lighter once his apartment was spotless. With still plenty of time to spare he also made a start on the pile of laundry left out to iron and fold. 

Since he moved out and found himself with far too much empty space in the closet, Jeno had stocked up on clothes: shirts, pants, jackets, and all the like. And as nice as it was to finally build upon his style, more clothes came with more washes and more time spent having to sort through them. At least Jeno found the process of ironing a nice time to unwind, taking care with each article of clothing. 

By the time he was done Jeno had just about enough time to take a shower and fully freshen up before getting dressed. He opted for a pair of jeans he bought recently; they hugged his thighs and highlighted his ass, flaring out below the knee for a half casual look. As for the top, Jeno spent some more time trying to find something nice, fully spoiled for choice now that he had more than like six fancy shirts to pick out from. Though in the end he was able to settle on a simple black vest top which clung to his fit frame. To top it all off, he slipped into a cropped leather jacket, a pair of sneakers, and sprinkled in some jewelry around his neck and hands. 

He doused himself in perfume and topped up with another dose of face moisturiser to plumpen his skin. With one last look in the mirror, he also opted on a subtle tint to his lips - just enough to draw eyes down towards them. 

Satisfied with his appearance, Jeno grabbed only what he needed to get him through the night, ensuring his phone was fully charged before leaving. 

When he stepped out, he jolted, a hand over his heart. “Fuck,” he uttered, following it up with an airy laugh. He nearly walked into Jaemin who was just passing by his front door. And what a collision that would be. “That scared me,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry about that.” His eyes fell to the sports bag slung over Jaemin’s shoulder. Right. He usually went to the gym on Saturdays as well. And Jeno would have probably been on his way there as well right about now if it weren’t for his unusual plans. 

“No gym tonight?” Jaemin asked, his attention on Jeno’s state of dress. It was new for him since Jeno rarely got himself dolled up to this point. Usually he liked to keep it more casual - albeit still stylish and presentable. Though this went beyond that. This was intentional, meant to lure in men who wanted the same thing as Jeno. 

“Yeah. Not tonight,” Jeno confirmed. “I thought I might as well go out once in a while,” he explained, tagging on an awkward laugh to the end. “Won’t be able to spot for you. Sorry.”

“Ah… No, that’s fine,” Jaemin assured, sounding unlike himself at that moment. Emotionless. Stiff. Blank. It was strange given how bright he always was. Now, he just seemed strained and worked up, bottling all of that up. Maybe he had a bad day. “Have fun, yeah? And don’t do anything stupid.”

Amused, Jeno’s lips curved upwards. He nodded. “I’ll do my best. Wanna walk down together?”

“Sure.”

They took the lift as it was already waiting on their floor, pouring into the small box. Their shoulders brushed, standing closer than necessary. But then again Jaemin’s bag got in the way on his other side, so Jeno didn’t find it odd. Besides, they were closer to friends now than just strangers or neighbours. At least Jeno thought so. 

“You meeting up with anyone?” Jaemin asked as the doors closed.

“No. Just myself,” Jeno admitted. 

The other man hummed, the sound noncommittal.

“Are you okay?” Jeno asked, feeling like there definitely was something up with Jaemin. This wasn’t how Jeno typically saw him and honestly he felt quite bad about it. There definitely was something weighing down on him now. “You seem… a bit down?”

“Ah… No, it’s nothing,” Jaemin assured, although he didn’t sound convincing. “Just a bit tired.”

“Are you sure going to the gym is a good idea?”

Jaemin shrugged. “Worst case I’ll just walk on the treadmill and call it a day,” he replied. “It might be all I need. Listen to a podcast or something.”

“I usually go with an audiobook,” Jeno said. 

“Any recommendations?”

“I’ve got a list,” Jeno stated. “Any genre you’re more into?”

“I like a good romance or thriller.”

Jeno laughed, their shoulders bumping together. “That’s quite a selection. Two different ends of the spectrum. But I’m sure I have something that could suit your tastes. Though that’s gonna have to wait for later,” he said, the elevator finally reaching the ground floor.

“Then I’ll happily await your recommendations."

Once they stepped out, their paths diverted. 

Jaemin made his way towards the bus stop whilst Jeno waited around for his taxi. He did initially consider the subway but he honestly couldn’t be bothered. 

It didn’t take longer than five minutes for the car to pull up and for Jeno to be on his way towards his most frequented spot. He did a lot of bar hopping around during his university days in hopes of finding the best one for what he needed, finally settling on one that attracted the vast majority of guys Jeno was interested in. 

When he arrived, he initially made his way to the bar, needing at least one drink to get him buzzed and going, his nerves needing to be suppressed one way or another. After all, it never really got easier trying to pick up guys, no matter how many times he had done it by this point. 

But all Jeno really had to do was wait around, eyes scanning the thick crowd of hot men, hoping that he would make eye contact with a few promising choices. Thankfully, he rarely had to wait long for the first sucker to take the bait, lured in by Jeno’s sweet smile and alluring body. 

Jeno knew he was attractive, working to maintain his appearance even with a busy work schedule. He knew what guys wanted, and he knew that he fit the mold perfectly. Though he was more built than the average guy around, it was still obvious what he wanted, just waiting for the right guy to come and take him home. All he had to do was bite his bottom lip with played up naivete, looking up through his lashes as he maintained eye contact with his target for men to start crowding around him. 

He went through free drinks like water, laughing at the lame attempts from his suitors to try and pick him up, all whilst having hands roaming his back, his thighs and his arms. Of course, he allowed his own hands to wander too, deciding he deserved some fun as well. And in the end, he settled on his eye candy for the night; he was a younger guy still in university from what he told Jeno. Tall with swept back black hair, square jaw and sharp eyes, Jeno thought he would do. 

“I’m Minseok, by the way.” Not that Jeno really cared. He definitely didn’t care with how many drinks he already had coursing through his system. All that really mattered was that he was hot. 

A round on the dance floor and two more drinks later, the pair piled into a taxi back to Jeno’s place. 

Minseok was handsy and needy, touching Jeno's body on the elevator ride up, unable to contain himself for much longer. Jeno liked it that way, positively buzzed and light on his feet, head up in the clouds as eager hands roamed his chest, back and then finally his ass. They kissed the entire ride up, messy and hot, neither man really caring about anything else but getting off.

They stumbled out, constantly touching the short walk from the elevator to Jeno’s doorstep. 

As Minseok rutted against the curve of Jeno’s ass, impatiently watching him unlock the doors, Jeno saw movement from the corner of his eyes, almost like doors shutting. But that didn’t really matter to him right now. What mattered was finally having his way, body thrumming with excitement and anticipation, desperate to finally be fucked into the mattress after far too long.

It didn’t take long for Minseok to strip Jeno completely bare, pushing him back on the bed without a care. Jeno allowed himself to be manhandled, getting a rush from it. He liked it rough and hard, though he had yet to find someone that could satiate the itch at the back of his skull just right, so he was still searching for the right fit. It wasn’t his fault that ninety percent of the guys he’s been with just didn’t do it for him - not really. 

Sure, he still came and experienced a high only possible from joining two bodies together, but it still never felt like enough. What Jeno wanted… Well, he simply didn’t know how to explain it; he wanted something almost primal, but with tenderness still woven amidst the madness. Something that truly made him feel wanted - a man that couldn’t think of anything but Jeno, completely wrapped around his finger. A man that didn’t need much maintenance in return. 

Did that make his sound psychotic? Probably. Which was exactly why Jeno just stuck to whatever he could find, indulging in a good fuck for the most part without ever planning on settling down with any of his hookups. Nobody had ever made him want to stay. None of his ex-boyfriends either. 

And Minseok was the same. He was handsome and energetic, kissing Jeno all over just to flip him over and slip his fat cock right inside. It did the trick as he fucked hard into Jeno’s tight ass, giving Jeno just enough to leave him gasping for air, moaning for more, used like a cheap fucktoy by his partner. And that was fine. He didn’t mind that in the slightest, using Minseok as nothing more than an overglorified dildo too. 

His orgasm satisfied his nagging craving, even offering Minseok one more round if he was up for it. This time he was even nice enough to do most of the heavy lifting for him, pushing Minseok down on the bed to straddle his lap, sinking down on his cock just like he wanted it. Even as his thighs burned and the stretch felt brutal, Jeno carried on, bouncing eagerly on Minseok’s lap, stroking himself to completion soon enough. 

It was what he needed for now. 

He didn’t offer his bed for the night, dropping not so subtle hints that he wanted Minseok to leave. Jeno never stayed around either, feeling far too uncomfortable with sharing a bed with someone he simply met just to have sex with. It felt far too intimate, and none of his previous partners were ever the type he’s like to cuddle up with - no matter how good they made him feel. 

So Minseok left, shimmying back into his jeans as Jeno laid naked in bed. “I’ll see you around, yeah?” He asked to which Jeno replied with a noncommittal hum. It was unlikely, but not impossible. 

Jeno trusted Minseok to walk himself out without any issues.

Once he was gone, Jeno stayed as he was, sprawled out in bed, muscles aching just right after a pleasant workout. He knew he had to go wash up, but the concept of dragging himself up to shuffle over to the bathroom just didn’t entice him for the time being, so he opted to instead roll over and scroll through his phone until he regained enough strength and motivation to finally haul himself up. 

The night was still relatively young, so instead of putting an early end to it, Jeno changed into his pyjamas and made himself a light snack and a glass of water before taking a seat on the couch. It took him about twenty minutes to find something to watch, settling on whatever algorithmic suggestion spoke to him the most. It’s not like he was really paying attention too much.

All in all, Jeno considered that a day well spent. 

Probably enough thrills for the next month at least. 

***

The last thing Jeno needed right now was to lose his keys. 

But that was exactly what happened. 

Wonderful!

Honestly, he had no idea how that even happened. Sure, he was in a rush that morning, turning off his alarm instead of only snoozing it, leaving him with far less time than he ideally wanted to get ready in the morning. By the time he was out of the apartment he was sprinting, not caring about anything or anyone in his way.

And that’s probably how he got in this mess in the first place.

Now that he looked back on that morning, Jeno did actually run into someone on his way out. They basically ended up in a tangle of limbs, so if he lost his keys anywhere, it would be there. 

But after an entire day, what were the odds that he could find them?

So, to say he was fucked was an understatement. 

With a loud groan, Jeno slammed his forehead against his doors. Doors which he couldn’t open because he was apparently the biggest idiot in the world! What was he supposed to do now? He could try calling the landlord, but that would take some time as well. But it really was his only option.

“Idiot,” he muttered, giving the door one last slam for good measure. 

Apparently he was making a lot of noise since the doors to Jaemin’s apartment slowly creaked open, the man’s head peeking through the gap as he observed the strange scene.

“Jeno?” He asked, opening the doors wider, taking a step out. He was dressed casually - sweatpants and a crew neck jumper - and Jeno honestly envied him, forced to remain in his shackles consisting of office attire. Just how unfair was the world being to him right now? “Are you okay?”

Jeno pulled himself together. Shame would have been a fairly acceptable response to being caught banging his head like a fool against a hard surface, though this time around Jeno was torn closer between wanting to laugh and cry. Shame didn’t even pop into his mind.

“Yeah. No. Not okay,” he quickly admitted. “I lost my keys.”

“Oh,” Jaemin said, his demeanour shifting - more serious. “Did it happen just now or…”

Jeno shrugged. “I think I lost them this morning. Didn’t realise until now, since you know… I can’t get in. You wouldn’t have seen a random set of keys laying around anywhere, would you?”

His neighbour shook his head. “No, sorry. Have you tried giving the landlord a call yet? He’ll scold you and charge for a new set, but at least you’d get in.”

“Not yet…” Jeno looked at the doorknob, pensive. “Do you think it’s gonna take long?”

“Hard to tell… You can always wait around at my place for the time being if you want?”

“I- Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to get in your way.”

Jaemin waved his hand as if what Jeno said just now was nonsense. “It’s fine,” he assured. “As long as you don’t mind the mess; I’ve been procrastinating too much.”

Relieved, Jeno sighed, feeling a heavy weight come off his shoulders. “Thank you. Really.”

“I wouldn’t want you standing out here all alone,” Jaemin said. “Come in.” He stepped aside, urging Jeno to enter his apartment. 

The interior - layout wise - was basically identical to Jeno's apartment. As for the actual decor, it was obvious that the two men had differing tastes; where Jeno liked a darker, sleeker colour palette, Jaemin leaned towards the brighter side, keeping things uniform. And though he warned Jeno about the mess, Jeno struggled to see anything that stood out as unruly. If anything, the space was meticulous bar maybe a few dishes waiting to be cleaned up by the sink. 

“I honestly won’t be shocked if someone hands your key in to the lost and found,” Jaemin mused, closing the door behind them. “Unless you lost it far away, in which case anything goes.”

“I think it would’ve been by the entrance,” Jeno said. “I bumped into someone. Might have dropped it then.”

“Sounds reasonable. Guess we’ll find out. Until then, can I interest you in a drink?”

“A- Yeah. Just water is fine. Thank you.”

Jaemin nodded, walking past Jeno, his hand making contact with the man’s waist to gently steer him out of the way. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Jeno kicked off his shoes and walked into the living room, sitting down on the couch and placing his workbag on the floor by his feet. Jaemin did mention his field of work before, and now that he was in his living space, Jeno definitely saw the signs of a nicer income than his own: top-end equipment, a sound system, console, T.V, random gadgets and furniture from a fancier income bracket than what Jeno would personally go for. 

He could make the average apartment look like a high-end, luxury condo. 

Jeno took another look around, his eyes catching a small, suspicious object higher towards the ceiling. “Is that a camera?” He asked as Jaemin came into the living room, carefully placing two glasses of water down on coasters laid out on the coffee table. Jeno’s eyes caught the state of his hands, the skin around his nailbed irritated as if it had been chewed on.

The man glanced up to where Jeno was pointing to. “Oh, yeah,” he replied casually. “The apartment doesn’t have the best security so I took a few extra steps to be on the safe side. As you can see, I do have a lot of valuables around.”

“Ah. Right. Are they on constantly?”

“These ones aren’t,” Jaemin answered. “They’re the motion activated type - less maintenance needed that way.”

Not a bad investment, Jeno thought. Still, Jeno wasn’t sure if he would like having cameras set up around his own living space - even if just for security measures. It seemed strange, and almost like he wasn’t actually at home but in a public space, always observed just in case. But if it worked for Jaemin then Jeno wasn’t going to say anything. 

“Anyway, I think I should call,” Jeno said. 

“Good idea.”

Jeno pulled out his phone and searched for the contact details he saved for the landlord, feeling queasy as his thumb hovered the call icon. But he had to do it if he wanted to get in any time soon. So he did it. He stood up, excused himself and walked back to the entrance way, back to Jaemin, feeling awkward as it was about the whole ordeal.

The line rang once, then twice, and finally he got through.

He was apologetic from the second the call was picked up, assuring his landlord that he would still look for his keys but that he needed to get into his apartment. Thankfully, the man over the line was understanding about the matter, making Jeno feel just that bit less terrible about the thing. Unfortunately, however, his landlord was out of the city, staying all the way down South with family. He did assure Jeno that he would call for someone to unlock his doors, but that it would probably have to wait until tomorrow. Not ideal.

Jeno got off the call with even less hope than he had initially.

“What’s the verdict?” Jaemin asked, curious as his eyes followed Jeno slowly dragging his way over to the living room. “Is it bad?”

“The earliest I can get in is tomorrow morning.”

“Damn…”

Jeno sat down on the couch, utterly lost. “What am I… What am I supposed to do? Book a motel?” He groaned, dragging his hands over his face. This sucked. Majorly. Jeno remained wallowing in his misery for a moment or two, all whilst the man next to him thought things over silently.

“I mean… You can crash here for the night?”

“Huh?” Jeno wasn’t sure if he heard that right. “Are you- are you saying I can stay here? At your place?”

Jaemin shrugged. “Yeah. I don’t really mind. You can have the bed too if you want.”

“I- I couldn’t.”

“It’s fine,” Jaemin assured. “I’m probably gonna be working through the night anyway so I’ll just crash on the couch. It’s fine, really.”

Was he a saint? Did Jeno somehow end up living next to an angel? Because that’s what it felt like right now. And whilst he didn’t want to impose himself on Jaemin for longer than necessary, he couldn’t deny that his offer sounded far too good to pass up on. And so, Jeno agreed.

Jaemin grabbed him something to change in for the night, laying it out for him on the bed as Jeno went to take a shower. He tried to be as quick as he could, not wanting to waste Jaemin’s water, but he did find himself standing under the steady stream for about ten minutes longer than necessary. 

When he stepped out he patted himself dry thoroughly, considering the enticing tub of moisturiser Jaemin had. The man did say to use whatever he wanted though Jeno did still feel bad about it. But in the end, after taking a quick whiff of the milky body moisturiser, he decided that since Jaemin was being so hospitable then it would be rude to not take his offer up to the fullest. He lathered himself, skin soft and smooth, rejuvenated after an unusually eventful day. 

He proceeded to quickly get dressed and then brush his teeth with a brand new toothbrush. Pink. Cute. 

Finally done, Jeno stepped out. It was getting late already and he still had to go to work tomorrow - unfortunately in the same clothes as today - so he was going to call it a night already, but before that he still wanted to wish Jaemin a good night.

He walked out, bare feet padding against the wooden floors. Jaemin was in the living room, lounging on his couch with a laptop perched up on his lap. 

“Goodnight,” Jeno said, soft to not disturb him.

Jaemin looked over his shoulder, greeting Jeno with a soft and tender smile. “Goodnight,” he echoed. 

With that, the two parted for the day. 

Jeno returned to the bedroom, glancing at the bedside table, curious as to when he had plugged his phone in to charge. Maybe Jaemin did that? If he did then that was sweet of him. 

After slipping under the covers, Jeno checked his alarm was set, and then just for good measure he set another one for five minutes later, sparing him from another mishap in the future. 

***

The keys were found. 

Apparently some random passerby stumbled upon them a mere two metres away from the entrance to the apartment block, and - being the good samaritan that they were - they decided to hand them over at the front desk, assuming that the owner most likely lived there. And he did. Jeno was informed of the keys making their way back to him after he made it home after work, picking the keys up, praying to whatever deity there was for saving his ass. 

He also gave his landlord a quick heads up that he didn’t need a new set, saving everyone the hassle.

Jeno was able to get back home and just unwind in his own private space. 

He tossed his bag at the entrance, kicking his shoes off, shuffling over to the kitchen to grab a quick drink and snack. Truly no place was better than home where he knew exactly where everything was. 

Finally back to normal, Jeno could just go on with his day to day life.

Work, home, gym, the occasional trip to the club to invite a random man over, so on and so forth. 

Though, he actually had more reasons to leave his home since he was invited to a birthday party. A friend of a friend - nobody that Jeno knew particularly well, but he was close to Donghyuck so they weren’t complete strangers. And so, Jeno once more got ready to head out. He washed up and got dressed up on a Saturday night, feeling like he was about to go on the prowl again only to end up at a party he wasn’t a hundred percent happy for.

But oh well, at least he was going to meet up with people that didn’t think solely about getting in his pants. Small victories or whatever.

When he stepped outside, Jaemin was there as well. Jeno jolted in surprise, finding himself easily startled these days, though he laughed it off.

“Out for a smoke?” Jeno asked, glancing over at Jaemin. He leaned over the railing, simply looking out at the view from up here. 

“I don’t smoke,” Jaemin replied. “Just needed some fresh air.” His eyes proceeded to scan Jeno’s appearance, scrutinising everything. “Going out?”

“Birthday party,” Jeno explained - not that he really needed to do that. 

“Sounds fun.”

“I’d beg to differ; I don’t really know the guy that well. Mainly going for the free drinks and food.”

Jaemin chuckled. “Well, I hope you have fun.”

“Thanks. And any plans for yourself?”

“Nothing for today. Probably just gonna watch a movie and head to bed. Too tired for anything else.”

“Well in that case, enjoy the rest of your evening.”

“You too.”

And to an extent, Jeno did have fun. Though not enough fun to stay out the whole night, leaving first since he had enough for the day. 

When he got back, he stumbled as soon as he stepped into his apartment, tripping over a pair of shoes that were left right at the entrance. There was no way he would have done that, but apparently he did, unknowingly setting a trap for himself. At least he didn’t go toppling down.

He made his way through his apartment with as much grace as he could in his relatively tipsy state. And he had to be more drunk than he thought he was because he simply kept walking into his furniture - as if everything had been shifted by a mere millimetre. Or maybe his depth perception was just that screwed from one drink too many. That sounded more plausible. 

Either way, he finally got himself to bed, putting an end to another day. Another week behind him. 

***

During his weekly household chores, Jeno noticed something strange. 

He was doing the laundry, going through his clothes hamper just to end up confused as he pulled out pairs of underwear he had believed just magically vanished earlier that month. Most of his sets were black or white, though he did have the occasional pair with the odd pattern or dash of colour, and the ones that had gone missing were just those, easy to notice as gone amidst a sea of monotone shades. 

It was a pair of checkered boxers, another that was a light blue, and a pair with red shapes all over. 

Stumped, Jeno furrowed his brows, wondering just where they had popped out of. Did they end up with a life of their own, going on a little vacation before making their way back home? Highly unlikely, but Jeno honestly had no idea how he would have missed them in the hamper unless they really got muddled up with the other laundry. But for a month?

It didn’t make sense.

But Jeno had no other explanation so he simply shrugged it off and got back to work. 

Now that he thought of it, he did notice a few other things going missing. Things that could have easily been misplaced - mainly knicknacks Jeno used to line his otherwise empty shelves. 

However, there was one that he noticed instantly as gone, confused as to where it was. It was a small toy of an F1 car - a small gift from Renjun for Jeno’s birthday. Jeno was fond of it, often walking by the shelf just to move the car backwards and forwards a few times, the wheels spinning smoothly across the flat surface.

That was gone too. But it had to be somewhere in his apartment, because where else would it be?

Maybe he just wasn’t looking hard enough.

He’d search for it again when he did the vacuuming. Maybe it just fell off and under the shelf. That was a reasonable course of action.

But again, Jeno couldn’t find it. And so, the mystery lived on.

***

Jeno made a big purchase. 

Big in the sense it was actually a big box to carry all by himself. 

It was a new coffee table to put in the living room - a nice, dark brown wood with a set of built in small drawers and another plank of wood at the bottom to act as even more storage space. After dealing without having one since he moved in, relying on a foldable table to put his mug or plates on, Jeno finally had enough, deeming it as a worthwhile investment. 

However, the problem came when the package was delivered and Jeno realised he had to carry it up himself. 

As he looked at the large box, Jeno sighed, regretting not paying a bit extra for the option to have the delivery carried up to his apartment. But you live and you learn. It was too late to complain now. 

Though actually, didn’t he pay for it? He swore he did, so either he misremembered or the delivery guys decided to make Jeno’s life difficult for today. Either or. Not that it mattered now since he was left to deal with the package by himself. 

Still, Jeno knew he needed some help with it. Now, he wasn’t about to call up any of his friends and ask them to make their way down just to help him move a box. Sure, if he offered compensation in the form of a drink or food paired with a movie at his place, maybe he would have a taker or two, but as it stood Jeno wasn’t in the mood for any of that today. 

Work hadn’t been anything out of the usual, but the day simply dragged. That was only made worse by the fact Jeno’s manager was constantly making rounds throughout the office, so it wasn’t like Jeno could kill time scrolling through his phone or playing solitaire on the work computer. He just had to deal with the hours slowly ticking by, entertaining himself and looking busy with a few spreadsheets and documents open. 

Jeno was done and wanted nothing more than to just get up to his apartment to rot away for the rest of the day, greeting the weekend on a peaceful note. 

But the coffee table stood in his way of achieving that. 

He exhaled, hands on his hips as he sized up the box. If he pushed it then he could probably get it to the elevator. He might look stupid and it might take longer than he’d ideally hope for, it would definitely get the job done. Of course, Jeno also had one more option though he felt embarrassed to even think about it. 

Jaemin really was a nice guy, and he showed himself as more than willing to help Jeno out with even just a few shopping bags, but a coffee table seemed like a bit of a stretch. Besides, Jaemin might have better things to do. Maybe he wasn’t even home - though he did work from home so it was actually more likely for him to be at his apartment. Still, what if he was tired? Jeno didn’t want to drag him out for something so stupid. 

But he really didn’t want to carry that stupid fucking box up by himself. 

The dilemma continued for roughly two more minutes before he spotted a familiar figure in his peripheral vision. Quickly, Jeno glanced over his shoulder, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw Jaemin approaching. Relief but also a tinge of guilt.

Curious, Jaemin raised his eyebrows as he made his way over. “Hey,” he said before glancing behind Jeno to see the large box standing there. “Is that yours?”

“Yeah,” Jeno replied, stepping aside and turning to face Jaemin. “Coffee table,” he explained.

“Oh yeah, you mentioned you’re getting a new one,” Jaemin mused. And that was true; during one of their now more frequent gym sessions together, Jeno did briefly bring up all the things he still wanted to change about his apartment. A new coffee table was on that list. “Did they just dump it here?”

“Looks like it. I don’t remember if I paid for them to bring it up or not, but it seems they just left it here. You wouldn’t by chance mind if I asked you to help me with it?”

Without hesitation, Jaemin shook his head. “Not at all,” he assured, his smile bright and genuine, relieving Jeno. 

“Oh thank god. Honestly, you showed up just at the right moment.”

Jaemin chuckled, moving over to the box, looking at it to figure out the best place to start with it. “It was preordained by fate,” he joked, his eyes meeting Jeno’s own, the contact held for a second too long. Jeno felt… well, strange. A good strange, his stomach doing a flip for good measure. And when Jaemin’s smile toed the line of a smirk, Jeno wondered if what he felt wasn’t all that unknown to him after all. 

But Jeno never even entertained the thought of Jaemin being gay - or at least interested in men or even just Jeno in any capacity. Yet as their gazes lingered on each other, Jeno began to wonder if perhaps that was a mistake on his part. The way he saw it, Jaemin was handsome - unfairly so. Handsome in a way which puts models to shame. And to think that he didn’t do anything with that type of beauty. He was attractive, and Jeno saw that. But he didn’t have any hopes until right about now. 

Though, Jeno wasn’t sure if sleeping with your neighbour was a good idea or not. After all, it could get pretty awkward. 

Jeno wasn’t sure if he could handle that. 

Besides, it’s not like Jaemin gave him any drastic signs. Maybe Jeno was just reading a bunch into what amounted to absolutely nothing. 

“Ready to make a move?” Jaemin asked, cutting the moment short. 

“A- Yeah. Let’s go.”

They made easy work of the box, lifting it up and slowly but surely manoeuvring towards the elevator. There was no way on earth that Jeno would even think about carrying that thing up the stairs. Once inside, they both could relax for roughly a minute before they had to lift the package up again, laughing at how it seemed even heavier the second time around. 

Thankfully, they got to Jeno’s door without any issues, placing the box down again as Jeno fumbled around to get his keys out. 

“Thanks for that,” Jeno said, unlocking his door at last. 

Jaemin shrugged, leaning against the wall with his lips stretched in an easy smile. “It’s nothing,” he assured. “Always happy to help. Besides, I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Jeno scoffed. “You think I’m that fragile.”

“Not what I said,” Jaemin pointed out, raising his finger in protest. “Just… You know.”

Jeno hummed. “Yeah. I know. Still, thank you. I really mean it. You saved me and my back today.”

“Well, if you ever need any more help, you know where to find me,” Jaemin said, motioning behind himself. “Just one door down. Hard to miss. I’m in ninety percent of the time so just knock if you need anything.”

“Anything?” Jeno asked, quirking his eyebrow. 

“Anything,” Jaemin confirmed boldly, his grin dangerous. His canines peeked through, sharp enough to cut into yielding flesh. Not that Jeno was thinking about that. Not at all. 

“That’s a tall order. Are you sure you know what you’re signing up for?” 

Perhaps Jeno underestimated Jaemin, because the second Jeno finished his question the other man’s smile took on a darker quality. His entire expression shifted with it - a minute change, nothing more than the twitch of a muscle, but enough for Jeno to gulp, his heart pounding and the hairs on his arms standing on edge. Right now, Jaemin looked deadly. Sharp and hungry eyes locked onto Jeno, a vulture waiting for its moment to swoop down and take what it wanted. 

He didn’t pry his eyes off Jeno for even a second, focusing on the man’s eyes and lips, making it beyond obvious what he was doing. 

Jeno froze up in fear, body reacting purely out of instinct. 

Jaemin felt dangerous. Dangerous in a way Jeno hadn’t known before now. 

It was almost… exciting. 

But before Jeno could think anything more of it, Jaemin brought the moment to an abrupt end as if nothing had even happened in the first place. And with the way he brushed it off, Jeno actually believed it too, attributing the sudden spike in adrenaline to him misreading the atmosphere and letting his imagination run wild. He was searching for something that never existed in the first place. 

“Do you need any help with putting it together?” Jaemin asked. 

Jeno had to swallow the lump in his throat before he could respond in any way, internally laughing at himself for getting worked up over absolutely nothing. “Do you want to?”

“Sure,” Jaemin said with a casual shrug of the shoulders. “It’s like a big Lego set. Should be fun. Do you have any screwdrivers or should I grab one?”

Jeno looked down at the box. “I honestly kind of thought they’d be included.”

Jaemin clicked his tongue. “I’ll go grab the tool box. Need help carrying that into the living room?”

“No, I should be good. I’m just gonna push it.”

“Fair. See you in a minute.”

“I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

Jaemin nodded before quickly making his way into his own apartment. 

Jeno took in a deep breath, pushing the package the last bit. He was able to force it all the way into his living room. All that effort and he still had to put it together. Honestly, he kind of didn’t want to deal with that right now, but since Jaemin offered he might as well get it done and over in one fell swoop. 

So, as he waited for Jaemin to join him with whatever tools they’d need to put a coffee table together, Jeno went to the kitchen to grab a sharp knife. He dragged the blade along the tape keeping the package securely shut, putting it away as soon as he was done with it so that he didn’t do something stupid like trip and fall on it later. 

By the time he put it back in the drawer, Jaemin made his way inside. 

“It’s just me,” he said, kicking his shoes off in the entrance way. “I wasn’t sure what we’d need so I just brought the whole thing.” He stepped into the apartment, a toolbox in his hold. “I had to go digging for this. I think the last time I put any furniture together was like… a year ago? Maybe more. Hopefully nothing’s rusted and ready to snap.”

Jaemin placed the toolbox on the floor, keeping it out of the way so that neither of them would unknowingly walk into it.

“I see you made a start on the box.”

“That’s as far as I got.”

“Well, let’s get this started then.”

They carefully put all the pieces out, laying them out on the floor as neatly as they could. As Jaemin flipped through the instructions, Jeno organised all the parts. Jaemin was right about the whole thing feeling like a large Lego set; the pieces came wrapped up in bags, each one numbered for easy assembly. Jeno kept the same numbers together.

“Okay, right. Good news: it doesn’t look that complicated,” Jaemin announced, flipping the instructions back to the first page.

“And the bad news?”

Jaemin chuckled, looking up at Jeno from where he was sitting on the floor. “None.”

“Well that’s a relief.”

“Sure is. So, what do you say? Should we get started?”

“Let’s get to it.”

However, they soon came to realise that two heads weren’t always better than one - not because either of them was incompetent, but because it just was inconvenient to both be working on the same thing at once. They just ended up getting in each other’s way, slowing the process down unnecessarily. Sure, it definitely helped to have one person holding the pieces together in place, but it really was just easier for one person to do the assembly part alone. 

“I’ve got it,” Jaemin assured.

“Are you sure?”

The other man smiled, warm and genuine, his eyes reassuring. “I’m sure.”

“Then how about a drink?”

“Sounds good.”

“Coffee? Or is it too late for that?”

“Never too late for a coffee,” Jaemin replied, causing a soft and airy laugh to pass Jeno’s lips. 

As Jaemin was carefully putting the coffee table together, Jeno made his way back to the kitchen to put the kettle on. He grabbed two large mugs, quickly moving around the kitchen to make the drinks for them. 

“Are you hungry?” Jeno asked, glancing over his shoulder. 

“I could definitely have a bite. Why?”

“I just… I thought I could order take out?” Jeno suggested. “I’m not much of a cook and I don’t have much in my fridge right now so… take out?”

“Sounds good. Your choice: I’m fine with anything. Just let me know how much I owe you.”

“It’s on me,” Jeno said. “Since you’re here slaving away for me. The least I could do is feed you.”

“Pretty neat deal if I say so myself,” Jaemin mused. “We’ll be able to see if I’m any good with a screw and nails when the food arrives.”

Jeno laughed, almost forgetting to pour the water into their mugs. “If it falls apart you’re cleaning up.”

“I’ll accept that.”

Jaemin was able to put together the coffee table relatively fast, but then again the instructions did say it wouldn’t take more than two hours and even then that was most likely an overestimation. He tested it thoroughly, giving it a few kicks and shakes, satisfied with his handy work. 

“I think it’ll handle whatever you throw its way. Within reason,” Jaemin said. 

“I’ll trust your judgement. It looks good.”

“You have good taste. In furniture at least.”

Jeno rolled his eyes, folding his arms over his chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“No offense, but this coffee…” Jaemin didn’t finish what he was going to say, letting it fade out. But it was clear he wasn’t about to compliment the drink. 

“Oh alright. Are you a connoisseur or something?”

“I mean I do drink a lot of coffee.”

“Right. Well then next time bring your own.”

“You’re saying there’s a next time?”

“Yeah; I’m gonna need you to put together my new wardrobe.” 

“Ah… So it’s like that,” Jaemin uttered, his amusement laced into his deep voice. “It’s purely transactional. And here I was thinking we had something special,” he continued, coming to stand closer to Jeno, the distance between them feeling nonexistent even though Jeno could easily extend his arms in front of himself without touching Jaemin. 

“Special?” Jeno teased, his tongue quickly running across his bottom lip. “I just needed someone to do the dirty work for me.”

“So heartless.”

Jeno hummed, feeling himself inch closer towards Jaemin, dragged in by his magnetic pull. Once more, he saw something behind Jaemin’s eyes - something that both terrified him and excited him. It was rousing in every possible way, and Jeno was too curious for his own good. It called to him, though the rational part of his mind tried with all its might to stop Jeno from getting any closer, sensing danger he wasn’t ready to face within the dark, alluring pools of Jaemin’s brown eyes. He liked that shade of brown - dark and rich, a unique warmth to it as if scorched by a raging flame. 

Jeno wanted to see more. 

He wondered if Jaemin would let him. 

However, before anything could come of it, Jeno’s doorbell rang.

“That would be the food.”

“My compensation.”

“Your compensation,” Jeno agreed, taking a small step back after realising just how caught up he had gotten in Jaemin’s gravity. He really had to think this through before he ended up doing something stupid. But maybe - just maybe - he was reading all the signs right. Then again, he only noticed the signs today, so there could also be no actual signs. 

Jeno needed to clear his head for now. 

Honestly, he might just be too pent up after work - that was always a valid explanation. 

Nothing a decent fuck couldn’t realistically fix. Though fucking his next door neighbour wasn’t the right solution for the time being. As it stood, Jeno wasn’t confident enough to believe Jaemin actually was interested. Maybe he was just friendly. Really friendly. 

He hurried over to the front door, accepting the delivery. In the meantime, Jaemin had shuffled himself over to the kitchen, leaning against the counter, his eyes following Jeno as he came in with the delivery bags. 

“That’s a lot. Are you sure we’ll get through it?”

“We can always try.”

And they did. 

Jeno pulled out two large plates, keeping the sides in the boxes they came in. Jaemin helped him carry them over to the living room, piling everything onto the newly constructed coffee table. It didn’t topple over, nor did it even wobble. A success. 

With the food ready, the two men piled onto Jeno’s couch.

“I’ll let you pick the movie as a treat,” Jeno said, his heart skipping a beat when Jaemin looked at him with thinly veiled fondness. Surely he was reading too much into nothing. Or maybe he wasn’t.

“How generous of you, master.”

Jeno snorted, lightly punching Jaemin’s arm. 

“Ow ow ow, ouchie!” Jaemin rubbed the spot where Jeno’s fist had made contact, playing out his nonexistent pain. 

“So dramatic.”

“I’m not the one abusing their employees.”

Jeno rolled his eyes. Jaemin really had a knack of saying weird things, but Jeno couldn’t deny that he found the man entertaining. They hadn’t known each other all that long, but Jeno still found that being in Jaemin’s presence was easy. Perhaps even natural. Right. They just clicked in a way that Jeno didn’t expect when he first met him, left pleasantly surprised by how things had turned out for him. 

It was unusual, but Jeno welcomed it.

The pair spent the rest of the evening together on Jeno’s couch, a movie playing on the T.V screen only for them both to ignore it, far too engrossed in each other’s presence. 

Talking with Jaemin was easy in a way Jeno rarely experienced with anyone else. He still didn’t have much to say, but Jaemin somehow managed to effortlessly drag the words right out of his chest. Jeno could barely recognise himself, rarely ever this much of a chatterbox, yet there he was, enthusiastically trying to explain the in depth rules and rich lore of his favourite sport, drawing countless laughs out of Jaemin as well as the occasional airy and quiet “cute” comments from him. 

“Does it make sense?” Jeno asked, hopeful after going through the scoring system for the second time. 

“I’ll be honest… no,” Jaemin replied, words half way to a full on laugh. 

It was a pretty sound. 

Jeno thought that he quite liked it.

“How about one more time? I swear I’m getting there!”

And he was. He was so obviously trying his best to follow everything Jeno was saying, and that alone touched Jeno more than anything else. Just the fact he was paying attention, giving Jeno all this time to geek out over something he didn’t even care about until Jeno brought it up… Well that meant something. It meant something more than the press of bodies. More than a heated, starved kiss leading up to nothing but a brief yet exhilarating moment that fizzled out just as soon as it happened. 

It was an actual connection. 

As real as they could get. 

He wasn’t used to it. But he liked it. 

He liked it far too much, unknowingly dipping his toes into something he wasn’t prepared for. 

But as they were at that moment - shoulders brushing, bodies turned towards each other, all attention on one another - Jeno couldn’t really care. He allowed himself to bask in the comfort and warmth radiating off Jaemin, feeling like this was what he needed this whole time: someone that would pay attention to him without restraint. 

Foolish, really. How naive of him to believe Jaemin wanted him like that? How stupid to ever think that something could blossom out of this?

Incredibly so. 

Yet right now, Jeno embraced it. He laughed and talked until he couldn’t do either anymore, giddy, his chest light. 

And he thought back to Jaemin’s earlier words, still foolishly clinging onto hope. 

Maybe it really was preordained by fate.

Wouldn’t that be funny?

***

Jeno was scared. 

That was the only way he could really explain the reasons for his actions. He was scared of disappointment and heartache, so he did the only thing he could really do to drown out the raging desires of his heart. 

He sought a quick fix. A quick, meaningless fuck, all to run away from the scarier option. 

Ever since Jaemin helped Jeno put together his coffee table, the two men kept bumping into each other more frequently until, after what felt like far too long, they exchanged numbers. It became easier to reach out and talk even if they lived a mere wall apart, distance never being a problem for them. Still, they found the time to send each other texts throughout the day. It honestly brightened Jeno’s mood whenever he received a text at work, the hours somehow passing by quickly when he was kept company by Jaemin. 

Then, when he got back to his apartment, he would run into Jaemin or wait for the other man to text him and ask if he wanted to meet up? Sometimes that meant going out to the gym together, other times it was a trip to the shops together, and then again (most of the time, really) it meant stepping out of one apartment and into the other. They would talk about whatever they could possibly think of, finding out that they actually shared a lot more in common than Jeno expected.

Sometimes, Jaemin would casually bring up something that Jeno was interested in, shocked that Jaemin even knew about it. And just like that, they would spend hours upon hours, chatting away, bodies progressively drawing closer towards each other. 

That was just how things were now. 

In the blink of an eye, Jaemin had gone from a stranger to a friendly neighbour to a friend. Maybe even more than a friend, if Jeno had to be honest. And that was the part which frightened him to no end. 

Because Jeno didn’t know how to deal with commitment. Relationships were still relatively foreign to him, always struggling to make anything meaningful last. And maybe if Jaemin was someone else - if he didn’t live right next to Jeno - he might have given him a chance; at least that way if they broke up or if things got ugly, Jeno could cut Jaemin off and never have to see him again. 

That wasn’t possible now. Not unless either one of them moved out, but who would realistically do that? Who would flip their entire life over just to escape a breakup for a relationship that probably didn’t even last all that long in the first place?

But the reality of the situation was that Jeno really, really liked Jaemin. 

He liked him more than he probably ever liked anyone before. It was an all consuming want, so debilitating that Jeno didn’t know what to do with himself. He was torn, wanting to finally close the distance between him and Jaemin, certain that he was reading all the signs right - that Jaemin wanted him too. But he couldn’t do it. There was always something pulling him back, too strong to fight against. 

And heavens was it difficult to act as if he wasn’t constantly on the brink of insanity when he was around Jaemin. It got bad. Really bad, to the point where Jeno really thought he was losing his mind. He thought about Jaemin so much that he forgot about the whole world around him. It was disorientating. Sometimes he would get back home, confused as he looked onwards, wondering if he had made his bed before leaving for work, or if he had carelessly misplaced some of his belongings. 

All because he couldn’t stop thinking about Jaemin. Oh Jaemin…

Jaemin was so courteous and sweet and so fucking patient, even if Jeno saw within his eyes a debilitating hunger, waiting for Jeno to show him that he could take the leap. It made Jeno feel like utter trash, playing with the man’s feelings for the sole reason that he couldn’t get over the slightest obstacle in his way. 

Jeno tried to make the feeling go away, thinking that if he just got himself off then all would be well. But that didn’t work. Of course it didn’t work.

He wanted someone that could love him. He wanted someone to love. But all of his experiences were worse than the previous one, always ending in a grand dumpster fire. 

Jeno just… He wasn’t meant for love. 

It was a hard and bitter pill to swallow, but he knew it painfully well. There was something about him that was broken, wanting too much but giving too little in return. He was always the one at fault, making things difficult and burdensome for all his partners. Heartbreak after heartbreak, Jeno grew accustomed to it, seeking solace elsewhere. At least with a quick fuck he could momentarily forget about everything else. He could just pretend that everything was fine. 

But it never really was. 

His friends tried their best to comfort Jeno with each failed attempt.

“He just wasn’t the right one.”

“There’s plenty of fish in the sea.”

“There’s always next time!”

But their words rung hollow. 

Sometimes, love just wasn’t written in the stars for someone. And in this case, Jeno was the poor soul destined to crave but never find what he yearned for. 

But maybe Jaemin… 

Maybe Jaemin could be the one this time around. Maybe he could give Jeno what he wanted. Maybe he could make Jeno feel loved and seen and desired in the way Jeno always hoped for. 

Or maybe he would be just like everyone else.

So that’s how it started. 

Jeno needed to find a way to ignore his own desires, doing whatever he could not to picture Jaemin or call his name as another man had his way with him. He had a new man over at his apartment every week, not picky as long as he could forget Jaemin for even five minutes.

It was a terrible coping mechanism and Jeno wasn’t oblivious to that. To call it self destructive would be putting it nicely, yet Jeno didn’t know what else to do. He wanted Jaemin with every atom of his body, his heart constantly feeling a pull towards him to the point that he would just stare at the wall dividing their apartments as if that could change anything. 

Bravery was never an option for him. 

All he could do was run away from all his problems. That was the easiest way, yet the most painful one too. 

There was something fundamentally wrong with him. Something which he couldn’t fix no matter how hard he tried. Each new boyfriend was a new chance - a hope that Jeno could succeed this time around. And time and time again, he failed. He failed in ways he didn’t fully understand, left confused and hurt each time things finally came crashing down. 

“You don’t even try.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Are you even interested?”

But his body… Jeno could always offer his body. 

Sex was easy. It required nothing but lust, no actual feelings attached. 

That’s what he was good for apparently. 

Yet nothing helped. No amount of men could ever truly distract him from Jaemin. Nothing could replicate the way he felt when he was around Jaemin - how right his presence was in Jeno’s life. Nobody else understood Jeno the way Jaemin did. Nobody else could make him talk for hours, somehow always knowing the right thing to say next. Nobody could make him laugh, make him want the way Jaemin did. 

There was nobody else but Jaemin. 

Sometimes, when he brought a new guy over he would run into Jaemin - the man either coming or going to the gym or shops, or just stepping out for some fresh air. And every single time, their eyes would meet and all Jeno could feel was immense, soul crushing guilt. 

He saw the ache in Jaemin’s eyes - an ache which verged on disgust as his gaze fell on the man trailing behind Jeno. 

Yet nothing happened. 

That was probably for the best; Jaemin was in for nothing but disappointment when it came to Jeno anyway.

It didn’t make it any less painful though. 

***

Jeno’s phone was acting weird. 

Honestly, it had a mind of its own, acting up at the worst times. It was almost like clockwork by this point but Jeno just couldn’t figure out why. On Saturday, just as he was getting ready to leave for yet another night of debauchery, needing to drown out a desire that seemed impossible to quench, his phone just died - completely unresponsive. 

He tried to charge it but it didn’t respond. He tried to reboot it, but each time it started up it just went back to how it was before, met with nothing more than a black screen. 

The worst part was that it wasn’t even an old phone, no older than two years - far too soon to replace it. Not that Jeno really had the cash on hand to just go and buy another one, and even if he did it was too late for any stores to be open. 

But if this continued… He had to have his phone. Leaving without it just seemed stupid. Reckless and honestly dangerous. 

He couldn’t do it. 

With no other option, Jeno swallowed his pride and left his apartment, taking a few steps over to the next door over. He stared at it, his hands too heavy to lift up to ring the doorbell. So there he remained for a solid two minutes before he sighed and swallowed the bullet, feeling like shit for even bothering Jaemin in the first place.

Of course, they still met up, but it didn’t feel the same. 

They both knew why.

So honestly this was a dick move, crawling to Jaemin for help when all Jeno did was screw with him repeatedly. To think that they had it so good - that not even a month ago they were laughing and spending the entire night simply talking, their thighs pressed together, shoulders brushing. It was so good, just for Jeno to fuck it all up. And for what? 

Fear? 

He stood outside, his stomach tying itself into knots with each passing second. 

Jaemin was probably sleeping. And if he was, Jeno just woke him up since the doors unlocked, pulled open by a rough looking Jaemin, his hair messed up. God, Jeno felt like the greatest ass that ever lived. 

“Jeno?” Jaemin asked, voice quiet and tired, only proving Jeno’s theory right. 

“Yeah… Sorry, did I wake you?”

Jaemin rubbed his shoulder, pulling the door open a fraction wider. “It was just a nap,” he replied in an attempt to make Jeno feel better. It didn’t work. “What’s wrong? Did the coffee table break?”

Oh god. 

Jesus fucking christ. 

Jeno couldn’t do this. He just couldn’t. He wanted Jaemin. He wanted him more than anything. He wanted him so much he wanted to cry. 

And he did cry. 

“Jeno? Oh fuck, what’s wrong?”

He just laughed. He laughed and cried, wiping frantically at his eyes as more and more hot tears poured out. They didn’t stop. Why didn’t they stop? Just why couldn’t he stop crying, the tears never ending as they came all at once, the dam behind his eyes crumbling until there was nothing left to hold them back? It hurt, his chest painfully tight, stomach tied into one impossible knot as he was faced with Jaemin right there in front of him. 

Pathetic. He was pathetic. Always has been, and always will be. 

“Shit, Jeno, come here,” Jaemin uttered softly, spreading his arms to welcome Jeno in. 

Sobbing, Jeno couldn’t resist the temptation, seeking refuge in the arms he had tried so desperately to run away from. And now he was wrapped up in Jaemin’s embrace, Jeno couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. He melted against Jaemin, his tears clouding his vision, simply clinging onto the man whose warmth swallowed him whole. 

Jaemin carefully manoeuvred them around, pulling Jeno into his apartment, gently closing the door behind them so that they could have some privacy, completely safe and alone within the confines of Jaemin’s four walls. With one hand he rubbed along Jeno’s back, firm and reassuring, the other resting by Jeno’s nape, his fingertips lightly caressing the sensitive skin. 

“What happened?” Jaemin asked, his voice thick with worry. “Are you hurt?”

Jeno shook his head, earning a relieved exhale from Jaemin. But before Jaemin could ask another question to figure out why Jeno had rocked up to his doorstep just to burst into tears, Jeno managed to utter a wet and painful “I’m sorry.”

Confused, Jaemin stiffened. “Pardon?”

“I’m sorry,” Jeno repeated, feeling even worse the second time around. “I’m sorry. I-”

“Shh… It’s alright,” Jaemin assured, his low and warm voice soothing. “How about we sit down, okay?”

But Jeno didn’t want to pull away, whimpering when Jaemin so much as thought of taking a step back. 

In the end, Jaemin still held onto him, guiding Jeno towards the couch carefully and slowly so that Jeno wouldn’t bump into anything on the way. All his effort paid off when they finally made it over to the couch. Jaemin urged Jeno to take a seat whilst he himself knelt at Jeno’s feet, his hands firmly planted on Jeno’s knees, head tilted up to look at Jeno. 

His sobs became soft, weak sniffles, the worst of the worst finally over. 

Jeno wiped his eyes, vision slowly coming back into focus. And once he could see again, he was met with Jaemin’s gentle and tender expression, concern in his eyes and the crease of his brow, yet with a sincere and passionate care still present. It honestly made Jeno want to start crying again, unable to handle such unwavering affection from anyone. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jaemin assured, giving Jeno’s knees a light squeeze. “No more tears, okay? You’re safe here.”

Jeno whimpered, chewing on his bottom lip. “I’m sorry.”

Jaemin’s lips curved into a gentle, understanding smile. “For what? Crying? Everybody cries.”

“Not that,” Jeno muttered, swallowing the thick lump in his throat. “I… I’ve been… I’ve been an absolute ass,” he admitted, not feeling much better even after getting that off his chest. “I’ve been- I’ve been ignoring you and- and I’ve just- I keep doing all these stupid things and I know it’s hurting you, and it’s hurting me but I- I don’t know what to do,” he continued, stumbling over his own words to the point he wasn’t even sure if anything he said made any sense whatsoever. 

It probably didn’t.

Still, Jaemin listened and waited for him, his firm touch grounding and comforting in a way which Jeno felt he didn’t deserve after everything he had done to Jaemin - pushing him away and playing with both of their feelings just because he couldn’t stomach the thought of things not working out. He was a coward. It was as simple as that. 

Jaemin was too good. Far too good for Jeno to ever even consider. 

He didn’t deserve him. But that didn’t change the fact that Jeno wanted him so badly that it felt like he was being gutted, scraped clean from the inside with every passing second he wasn’t by Jaemin’s side. And for what? Just to end up disappointing Jaemin and himself? Just to prove yet again that Jeno wasn’t built for relationships that lasted? 

“And I was- I was gonna go out again and I-” Jeno felt bile rising up his throat, swallowing it down before anything could come of it. He was beyond a mess right now and Jaemin was a saint for even hearing him out - listening to his incoherent rambles, eyes red and face stained with salty tears. “I just needed a distraction and- But my phone died and I thought- You’re good with tech and that and I just feel so- I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

Defeated, Jeno bent over, hiding his face behind his hands in shame. 

There was nowhere left to hide now. 

As he struggled to even out his breathing, seconds ticking by painfully slowly, Jaemin shifted ever so slightly. With a gentle hand he stroked through Jeno’s hair, his fingertips working down towards the hands covering Jeno’s face, lightly tapping on them so that Jeno would pull away and let Jaemin look him in the eyes. It took quite some coaxing, but in the end Jeno was defenseless when it came to Jaemin.

Warily, Jeno dropped his cover, meeting Jaemin’s gaze overflowing with devotion - no other way to put it, so strong and unmistakable. Jeno gasped, biting on the inside of his cheek as he braved the fear and guilt wrecking him from the inside, maintaining eye contact for as long as he could. 

Second by second, Jaemin made him feel better. Safer. 

“All better?” Jaemin asked, his hand gently wrapped around Jeno’s wrist. “Or at least a bit?”

Jeno could at most respond with a weak nod, met with a disproportionately bright smile from Jaemin. 

“Good. That’s good. How about I get you some water?” Jaemin didn’t wait for a response, pushing himself up from the floor, quickly heading over to the kitchen. The few brief moments alone felt like torture, forced to confront the fact that Jeno had actually come to Jaemin, cried like a baby in front of him, all whilst still not exactly telling him the reason behind his sudden outburst. 

Yet Jaemin didn’t push. He didn’t try to get all the answers out of him at once. 

Far too kind and gentle. 

Jaemin returned, placing the tall glass of water down on the table. Instead of taking a seat next to Jeno on the couch, he returned to where he had been before: kneeling at Jeno’s feet, looking up at him as if he were a deity deserving of reverence. Jeno was the furthest thing from that. He was nothing but the dirty under Jaemin’s shoes.

“So… about that phone,” Jaemin said, giving Jeno just enough time and space to organise his thoughts. “Want me to take a look?”

Jeno nodded, digging into his pocket, handing it over without hesitation. 

Jaemin tried to unlock it, failing just like Jeno had before. He then tried his luck with rebooting it, and this time around it worked.

“Last time it just shut down when I did that,” Jeno said, confused why it worked this time around. Of course it fixed itself when he had Jaemin check it out. Typical.

Jaemin hummed, not doubting Jeno’s words. “Maybe there’s something with the battery,” he mused. “I can plug it up to my laptop and run a few diagnostics if you’re fine with that? It’s just a quick scan - won’t take more than ten minutes.”

“If you don’t mind.”

Jaemin smiled. “I don’t.” Again, he pushed himself up, this time making his way over to the corner desk he had pressed against the wall. Three screens, what looked like an impressive P.C as well as a laptop off to the side. The first time Jeno really acknowledged it he laughed and asked if Jaemin was some sort of professional hacker only for the man to assure that his job was far less thrilling than that. 

Jeno watched Jaemin as he pulled his chair out, turning on his laptop before rummaging through his drawers to pull out a cable, plugging one end into his device and the other into Jeno’s phone. He seemed focused on what he was doing, clicking through different programs and typing away on his keyboard. Jeno didn’t know what he was doing but it definitely looked impressive. 

“Okay. It’s doing its thing now,” Jaemin declared, taking his hands off the keyboard. “Now we just wait.” Still, he kept his eyes peeled on the screen, watching out for anything that could potentially alert him to the source of the issue.

And as he keenly observed, Jeno pushed himself up from the couch, walking over towards Jaemin, standing behind him. 

Jaemin dropped everything for him. He wasn’t annoyed that Jeno had barged in, acting like a complete mess, still not explaining himself fully. He didn’t act cold towards Jeno even after how poorly he had been treating him, inviting countless men over - hardly a secret - when it was obvious that there was something brewing between them. Jeno had tried to put a lid on top of the simmering - no, boiling - desire to keep it contained, but he failed with every attempt, only burning himself in the process. 

He saw disappointment and hurt in Jaemin’s eyes whenever he witnessed another man with Jeno. He felt the change in air between them whenever they met afterwards, the atmosphere nowhere as pleasant and carefree as it had been before Jeno chose the coward's way out. 

Yet despite all that, Jaemin still was there for him, so tender and caring. 

It killed Jeno on the inside.

But he wanted him so desperately, struggling to breathe from the crushing weight of his desire. 

Maybe Jaemin… Maybe he could be different. Maybe he could put up with Jeno and all his countless flaws and vices, and maybe he could love him nonetheless. 

The test was over sooner than Jeno anticipated considering Jaemin started to explain what went wrong. But Jeno wasn’t really listening, only catching the last part as he tried his hardest to do at least one thing right in his life. 

“I have a friend that runs a phone repair shop. He owes me a favour so I’m sure he’d change it out for you for free,” Jaemin said, scrolling his mouse across the screen to exit out of the program, closing it before Jeno could even make out any of the things written on the diagnostic window.

It didn’t matter anyway.

What mattered was finally fixing his wrongs, having the faith that this time around, things could be different. 

With all the courage he could muster from within, Jeno took one step closer, leaning down to press his forehead against Jaemin’s shoulder. He took a deep breath, Jaemin’s scent sending a chill down his spine: woody and rich, an alluring musk paired with a delightful, soothing flame which burned and burned, bright and hot, offering a comfort unlike anything else. Feeling safe and content, Jeno rubbed his face against Jaemin despite his better judgements. 

Jeno felt Jaemin tense up - a sharp breath being sucked in. Yet he kept quiet, giving Jeno the space to do and say what he wanted. 

“Do you like me?” Jeno asked, the words faint and muffled.

Talk about an emotional rollercoaster.

Maybe he was too quiet or maybe Jaemin didn’t know what to respond with, but each second weighed down on Jeno, crushing him to nothing more than a pulp. He was stupid. Stupid to even think that Jaemin could actually like him! Stupid to believe that things would be different. Stupid, stupid, stupid-

“I do,” Jaemin responded, firm and honest. Unwavering. “I like you,” he said just in case Jeno missed it the first time. “I like you a lot, Jeno. And I- And I’ve liked you for a long time now.”

Jeno whimpered, pressing himself against Jaemin, torn between running away or staying, only for Jaemin’s gravity to keep him where he was. 

“I just… I didn’t know how to tell you,” Jaemin continued. “Especially with… Well, you know.”

“I know,” Jeno muttered, sick to his stomach just thinking about the moments the pair made eye contact, Jeno with a man that wasn’t Jaemin - yet with countless men that bore a strong resemblance to him. They could never be him. “I’m sorry. I’m- I’m not good with this,” he admitted. “Whenever things start to feel too real, I get scared.”

“Scared?”

Jeno nodded. “It always falls apart,” he explained. “I’m just… hard to love.”

“That’s not true.”

“Every single guy I’ve dated said the same thing,” Jeno stated. “At some point it becomes obvious that that’s the truth. I’m- I’m more effort than it’s worth, Jaemin. You deserve better.”

That must have been the breaking point for Jaemin because he pushed himself up from his seat, standing up and looking at Jeno. He reached out for his hands, pulling Jeno in, their eyes locked, an intense fire raging behind Jaemin’s dark brown pools. 

“But I want you,” Jaemin declared. “I want you, Jeno. And I’m not like any of the other guys you’ve been with; I don’t care what it takes, and I won’t leave you because things get tough. I want you, Jeno, and I never give up on the things I want. I always see things to the end, okay? Whatever you throw my way, I’ll take it. All of it.”

He spoke in such absolutes - so much resolve, standing firm and unwavering. Jaemin didn’t even know what he was getting into, but his confidence was admirable. It was reassuring, strong and potent enough for Jeno to believe everything he said. For the first time in a long, long time, Jeno believed that he could find happiness in another person. It elated him, the tension in his chest dissolving, heart light and giddy, stomach filled with butterflies all flapping their wings together. 

“I’m a lot,” Jeno pointed out, his lips curving up into a smile - a genuine one, not the ones he wore like a mask in his attempt to drown out his own emotions. 

“That’s fine.”

“I’m greedy,” Jeno continued.

“So am I.”

“I’m pretty boring.”

“Not to me. You’re far from it. I mean, you’re pretty interesting when you talk about all the things you love,” Jaemin argued. “Even if I have to pretend I’m not jealous whenever your eyes light up at the mention of that one racer.”

“Verstappen.”

Jaemin clicked his tongue. “Yeah. Don’t like him,” he said. Jeno chuckled.

“He’s pretty good though.”

“I know. Which is why you like him. And in turn that’s why I can’t actually hate him,” Jaemin added. “Even if I’ll cheer on another team out of spite.”

Jaemin made it sound so easy - liking Jeno, that is. He made it seem like all the things his past boyfriends criticised him for were nonexistent. Maybe time would change his opinion of Jeno, but for now… For now, Jaemin seemed to mean everything he said. 

“I take more than I give,” Jeno said, feeling like it always boiled down to that single point. Always the one to take, never the one to give. His time, his effort, his energy. Jeno wanted to, but he just… didn’t know how to. Planning dates, taking the initiative outside of the bedroom… It all just seemed tedious. Why bother if you really like someone? Isn’t just being together enough? Must you make a performance out of your love just to prove it to them?

Apparently so. 

And Jeno was happy to take it all, but in the end, what did it matter if his love never amounted to more?

Jaemin smirked, leaning forward, the tips of their noses brushing. “And I give more than I take,” he assured. “Looks like we’re a match made in heaven, aren’t we, Jeno?”

“Perhaps it was preordained by fate,” Jeno suggested, giddy and wanting. 

“I like the sound of that.”

“So do I,” Jeno uttered, voice slowly becoming quieter as all he could focus on was the shrinking gap between their lips. His eyes flickered between Jaemin's eyes and mouth, smiling when he caught Jaemin doing the exact same thing. “I think this is the part where we kiss.”

Nothing else had to be said before at last, the sliver of space between them vanished in the blink of an eye. Jaemin took the initiative, pushing forward to finally make contact with Jeno’s sweet lips. His kiss was soft, packed with just as much - if not more - craving as Jeno’s own. Still, there was restraint, keeping it gentle and tender as their bodies became acquainted like never before, the contact sending sparks right down Jeno’s spine, his fingertips tingling with anticipation. 

He had waited all this time for this. 

It was better than he could have ever imagined.

Unfortunately, Jaemin pulled away, his hand cupping Jeno’s jaw - the touch possessive as it was delicate. The distance was minimal, their lips just about brushing together, yet not enough to satisfy the hunger brewing inside of Jeno’s stomach. He wanted Jaemin to kiss him breathless - to kiss him like he meant it, everything that he said completely true. Their eyes met, dark and covetous, a single kiss not remotely close to satisfying the longing they both experienced. 

Yet Jeno was powerless against Jaemin, completely at the man’s whim as he held him in place. He whimpered, body temperature rising, every single nerve ending lit up.

“You drive me insane,” Jaemin confessed, dark and dangerous and utterly intoxicating. 

“Then show me.”

And he did. Jaemin kissed Jeno again, this time with far less holding him back. Jeno gave in to him, lips parting and welcoming Jaemin’s eager tongue inside, humming as he finally got a taste. Their tongues rolled together, wet and all devouring. But that was still not enough, even as Jeno melted completely against Jaemin, his hands gripping onto the man’s sweatshirt. Jaemin still wanted more - as did Jeno.

His other hand found its way onto Jeno’s waist, pushing their bodies together as close as they physically could, even a millimetre between them feeling painful. Jaemin refused to let Jeno go for a split second, pouring out all of his desires into him, his kiss maddening. Yet Jeno wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Zealous, Jaemin pulled away from Jeno’s hot mouth just to kiss him along his cheek, his throat, tipping Jeno’s head back so that he could gain access to as much skin as possible. The hand resting at Jeno’s throat was scorching yet gentle as it guided Jeno back and forth, trusting Jaemin completely.

Jaemin nipped the skin with his teeth, sucking and bitting, licking over with the flat of his tongue. He continued, making his way back towards Jeno’s mouth, both men grinning like fools when they met for another heated kiss. And step by step, Jaemin led Jeno back to the couch in the living room, carefully easing him down before he crawled on top of Jeno - right where he belonged. 

Jeno made space for Jaemin in between his spread legs, pulling him in by the front of his sweatshirt, desperate to taste his tongue again and again. And of course, Jaemin was willing to oblige, kissing the air right out of Jeno’s lungs as his hands roamed all over - from Jeno’s waist, to his chest, back to his stomach just to slip beneath the fabric of his tight tip, skin on skin. 

“You were going out tonight,” Jaemin said, knowing Jeno’s routine by now. Why else would he be dressed up on a Saturday night? Besides, Jeno had told him about it earlier.

“Yeah.”

Jaemin groaned, his firm hands finding their way up Jeno’s chest, thumbs rubbing over the two pert nipples there. He grinned, dark and hungry, lips pressed against the column of Jeno’s throat. “Off to get fucked?”

Jeno moaned, biting the sound down just as Jaemin dragged his teeth across his reddened skin. 

“Want me to help with that, baby? I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Jeno gasped, his hips jutting on instinct. The movement caused Jaemin to laugh, placing a sweet kiss to the junction of Jeno’s jaw. 

“Cute,” Jaemin mused. “So fucking cute, Jeno. I just want to eat you up. Think you’ll let me? You know, I’m really good with my mouth,” he added in a hot whisper against Jeno’s ear. “Wanna see?”

“Yeah.”

However, Jeno wasn’t expecting Jaemin to nibble on Jeno's ear, sucking on his earlobe, working him up just to in the end slip his tongue into Jeno’s ear. Jeno moaned, trembling at how strange it felt - his toes curling, chest tight, body tingling. Jaemin’s tongue was diligent, slurping and swirling around within the tight space, offering Jeno a sensation like no other. He never even considered the option of having his ear stimulated like that, but now that Jaemin showed him just how fucking good it felt, he couldn’t get enough. 

Jaemin hummed, the noise deep and satisfied. He pulled out, kissing Jeno’s earlobe, biting and sucking like the starved animal that he was, getting pleasure from just that alone. 

“Feels good?”

“Y-yeah.”

Pleased, Jaemin kissed Jeno's cheek back towards his lips. “I can make it feel even better,” he assured. “Fuck your tight ass like you deserve.”

Jeno keened, rocking his hips upwards, seeking much needed friction. 

“You like that? You could sit on my face whenever you want, baby. I’ll make you cum from my tongue alone. How does that sound?”

“Fuck,” Jeno groaned, body blazing with unrestrained lust. He just wanted Jaemin to fuck him already - to give them both what they wanted. He was lost in the pleasure, both of them just as depraved, starved and eager to sink their teeth into willing flesh. “So good, Jaemin. Fuck. I want it. Want it so bad. Please, Jaemin. Please.”

“So polite,” Jaemin mused, sucking on Jeno’s bottom lip. “You’re so cute like this. I think I need a taste right now.”

“Please.”

Jeno was so unlike himself, far more vocal than he was used to. But could you really blame him? He finally found someone that set his body on fire - someone that could fan the flame until it consumed everything in its way. Jeno was brimming with anticipation, worked up just right by Jaemin and his honeyed mouth - his tongue that could do wonders.

Nobody else had made him feel like this. 

And as Jaemin sank lower, kissing Jeno’s body the entire way down, Jeno felt like he could pass out at any second from the sheer force of his want. Jaemin’s eyes kept looking upwards, locked with Jeno’s own as he left his marks across Jeno’s skin, laying his claim to Jeno like both of them deemed right. He kept going down and down, undoing Jeno’s belt and zipper without hesitation. He yanked the man’s pants down, tossing them aside without a care. 

Instantly, Jaemin latched himself onto the outline of Jeno’s clothed cock. He rubbed his face against it, sniffing the man’s heady scent like he couldn’t get enough of it, taking hit after hit, his eyes rolling to the back of his skull. As it stood, Jaemin looked like he was right where he wanted to be. 

After enough teasing, he finally slipped the snug briefs off, more interested in the real thing than anything else. His eyes lit up at the sight of Jeno’s erection, the pink slit leaking with poignant arousal. He was salivating, not wasting a single second as he attached himself to the throbbing length, licking from the base up to the pretty tip, suckling on it and collecting the beading arousal, drinking it up like his life depended on it.

Jeno felt delirious, head thrown back in bliss when Jaemin’s sultry mouth wrapped around his length, sinking down and down, just to come right up with a sinful drag, his toes curling, the air knocked right out of his lungs. His hand gripped onto Jaemin’s hair, forcing him down. And Jaemin was so happy to take all of Jeno into his heat, his eyes looking up at Jeno from behind his long lashes. 

He hollowed out his cheeks, bobbing his head up and down with bawdy eagerness, slurping and gulping, sucking and licking until Jeno couldn’t hold back. 

Back arching so hard it nearly snapped in two, Jeno came with a loud cry, spilling right into Jaemin’s sinful mouth. He shook with each wave, mouth wide open in a deep moan, the noise echoing throughout the open living room. And Jaemin didn’t stop. He held on tight to Jeno’s pert ass, bobbing up and down, drinking up every last drop of Jeno’s euphoric orgasm until Jeno was twitching in overstimulation, gasping for air, his body weak to the point he couldn’t so much as lift a finger.

Only then did Jaemin stop, licking Jeno’s spent cock clean. He didn’t waste a single drop, taking all of it on his tongue as if it were the finest delicacy in the entire world. 

“Fuck,” Jeno uttered, a tired and giddy laugh bubbling in his chest. 

Jaemin grinned, crawling up Jeno’s body to meet him in a kiss. 

“Who taught you that? Actually, don’t answer that.” 

Jaemin laughed, kissing Jeno deep and slow, offering Jeno a taste of himself. It was a pleasant and much needed change of pace, slowing things down after such a sudden and unexpected high. But as Jaemin adorned Jeno with more kisses and touches, Jeno felt a pang of guilt.

“I’m sorry, I- I don’t think I have it in me to return the favour.”

“That’s fine,” Jaemin assured, holding Jeno’s jaw firmly, kissing him all over the face. 

“I- See? This is what I mean- I just-”

“It’s fine,” Jaemin interrupted. “I’m more than satisfied. No need to return the favour.”

“But- What about-”

“I came,” the other man admitted casually, completely unaware just how insane that made Jeno feel. Because what did Jaemin mean that he came? Just from giving Jeno head? Was he actually being real or was this just his attempt at making Jeno feel better? Because honestly, who on earth would- “You wanna see?” Jaemin asked, his smile burning across Jeno’s throat.

“Yeah.”

Jaemin reached one of his hands down towards his crotch, dipping beneath the waistband of his sweatpants. When he pulled his hand out and back to Jeno, they were coated in his own release. “See?” He uttered, pressing two of his fingers against Jeno’s lips, pushing them in slowly until Jeno swirled his tongue around them, moaning at the sharp taste of Jaemin’s seed. “That’s how good you made me feel, baby. I’d say we’re even.”

Honestly, if Jeno didn’t feel like the life had been sucked out of him today from work and from the whole crying and running to your neighbour who is also your crush thing, he might have just let Jaemin fuck him right there on the couch from that alone. Seriously, did Jaemin really get off just from sucking Jeno off? Was that even possible? Apparently so, and that was probably the hottest thing Jeno had ever witnessed. 

Jeno swallowed, running his tongue over his soft palate, intoxicated by Jaemin’s taste. Jaemin watched him do it, his wild grin bordering on predatory. 

“Good?”

Jeno nodded. 

“Good.”

Jaemin pulled the two digits away from Jeno’s mouth, instead bringing them towards his own just to get another taste of Jeno’s spit. He smirked, dragging the fingers flat of his tongue before pulling out completely, leaning back down to hover above Jeno. 

“I wanna make you feel good, Jeno,” Jaemin admitted, his dark eyes softening around the edges, washing away some of the intense, crazy lust from. “And I know I can do it. I don’t care if you think you’re boring or that you’re bad at relationships or whatever. I just want to make you happy, and I will.”

Jeno smiled, reaching up to brush the hair from Jaemin’s face. “You sure sound confident,” he mused. 

“I am confident,” Jaemin assured. “Let me prove it. No more hooking up with random guys; you’ve got me now. You’ve got me in every way, Jeno. I’m completely yours.”

It felt surreal. Jeno felt the flock of butterflies in his stomach flapping their little wings faster and harder, the lift making him feel like he could too fly off any second now, absolutely weightless as he remained underneath Jaemin. He tucked a strand of hair behind Jaemin’s ear, biting down a smile.

“I’m yours,” Jaemin echoed. “Jeno…”

“You’re mine,” Jeno said, stroking his hand across Jaemin’s cheek, thumb brushing under his eye. “Only mine.”

“Only yours,” Jaemin confirmed. “And you’re only mine.”

Giddy. That made Jeno feel giddy. “All yours,” he assured. “I’m all yours.”

Jaemin sealed the deal with a kiss, his tongue carrying a lingering taste of Jeno’s release. That just made it even better, causing Jeno to croon and moan into the exchange, left panting as Jaemin stole the air from his lungs. And still, Jaemin was insatiable, his lips dropping down to Jeno’s cheek and his neck, sucking and biting on the skin like a frenzied animal. 

Jeno threw his head back, eyes rolling in ecstasy. He could let Jaemin do whatever he wanted with him, a blissed out smile etched across his face. His head lolled to the side to give Jaemin even better access to the column of his throat, soft lips pressing against Jeno’s pulse points, hot blood pumping through his veins. 

And as he looked off to the side, Jeno’s eyes fell upon one of the shelves across the room. Mainly books and the one off knick-knack. However, he also spotted something that looked oddly familiar. 

Almost like the toy car that Jeno had somehow managed to lose in his own apartment. But… No. That didn’t make sense. It’s not like Jeno could see it clearly, so for all he knew it was nothing more than a different toy - perhaps not even the same team. After all, Jaemin did mention he would support a different one out of spite. Cute in its own way, really.

Still, Jeno couldn’t stop looking. 

Jaemin must have noticed it as well, pulling away from the kiss to look where Jeno’s eyes were directed. “Am I that boring?” He asked, bringing Jeno’s attention back onto him. 

“No- No that’s- Sorry,” Jeno apologised, flustered. “I just- Do you collect toy cars as well? Well, I say as well but I don’t really collect them in the first place. Just… I have one. Somewhere.”

“Toy cars?” Jaemin asked. “No, I don’t,” he declared, tapping Jeno’s cheek lightly so that he would focus on him. “But that’s cute. I should get you one.”

Jeno rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure.”

“I mean it. If you like it, I’ll help you grow your collection.”

“Not a collection.”

“Yet,” Jaemin corrected. “But as I said: anything you want.”

Jeno chuckled, tilting his head back. “Don’t tempt me.”

Jaemin didn’t respond, simply leaning down to kiss Jeno again. And just like that, Jeno didn’t care about what Jaemin decorated his apartment with; how could he when Jaemin was kissing him like that? Like he wanted to devour Jeno, yet also like he wanted to worship him completely, set him out on an altar and ravish? Jeno couldn’t care less about some little car right now. 

By the time Jaemin was done with him, Jeno was breathless. To say he was drained was an understatement. All he could do was giggle, ditzy and lightheaded from the sheer weight of Jaemin’s affection. It was almost frightening. Almost. 

But Jeno was undeniably fond and swooned by Jaemin’s desire for him, feeling it right down in his core. Being wanted like that… Well, Jeno simply couldn't pass up on it - especially when he too wanted Jaemin, feeling like the man knew him better than anyone else after having known him so little. Truly, maybe it really had been planned by fate all along, everything leading up to this one moment in time. 

Satisfied with himself, Jaemin grinned, stroking his hand over Jeno’s chest and stomach not too differently than one would do to a dog. Jeno liked it, arching his back to encourage Jaemin to give him more belly rubs, still feeling somewhat delirious from having all senses kissed out of him. 

“Feeling better?” Jaemin asked as if the answer wasn't clear as day already. 

Jeno reached down for Jaemin’s hand where it was on his chest, locking their fingers together, a dopey smile on his lips. “Yeah. All thanks to you.”

“I told you, didn't I? Anything to make you happy. Now, are you hungry?”

“It's pretty late…”

“That doesn't answer my question,” Jaemin pointed out, leaning down, kissing Jeno’s knuckles. “Hmm? My treat.”

“Well… since you're offering… yes.”

Jaemin beamed, laying another kiss to the back of Jeno’s hand. 

They made up their mind quickly since they were both frequent visitors of a nearby takeaway spot. Jaemin practically knew Jeno’s order already, getting them plenty to satiate their needs for what would undoubtedly turn into a casual Saturday night - even if Jeno was dressed up for a party.

Jeno left to get changed, stepping back into his own apartment for a few minutes. He needed something more comfortable for sitting around on the couch with takeout boxes, so he hoped Jaemin wouldn't mind the sweatpants and crewneck.

Before he left, Jeno checked himself out in the mirror, taking particular interest in his neck. Jaemin had done a good job to not leave him looking like he had been marked by a wild animal, but the skin was reddened nevertheless. Not enough to mark Jeno up and make his life harder as he tried to cover the mess up before work, but enough to remind him for the rest of the night of Jaemin’s hunger for him.

He rubbed his hand across the heated skin, laughing to himself. It was still difficult to tell if Jaemin would stay true to his words - if he could actually put up with Jeno - but for now Jeno at least had an idea of what was in store for him for the foreseeable future.

After a few more minutes of trying to calm himself so that he didn't look like a completely smitten fool, Jeno made his way back to Jaemin’s apartment. He walked in and looked around but Jaemin wasn't in the living room or kitchen. When he heard the water running in the bathroom, he got his answer to the man's whereabouts.

As he waited for Jaemin, Jeno looked around a bit more, curious about what he saw earlier. He approached the shelf where he could have sworn he saw a small toy car, however when he stood right in front of it, there was nothing there. 

Maybe a trick of the light?

Jeno didn't have any time to give it any more thought when Jaemin finally joined him, wrapping his arms around the man's middle, lips naturally finding their place on Jeno’s nape. 

In the end, Jeno completely forgot about the car by the time he fell asleep on Jaemin’s couch, wrapped up securely in the man's tender embrace.

***

A week.

Jaemin had made it a week of being Jeno’s kind of but not really boyfriend. Not a single hitch, nothing that showed Jeno that he wasn’t as interested as he initially let on. But Jeno knew that things could always change at the drop of a pin; all it took was Jaemin to wonder why he was the only one putting in the effort for the cracks to start to show.

But a week in, none of that happened. 

Jaemin would greet Jeno after he got back from work, by now knowing when Jeno got off. He would text him on Jeno’s commute, asking if he wanted anything from the shop since he was out. At times it felt like he knew exactly what Jeno had or didn’t have in his fridge, though Jeno wrote that off as Jaemin simply taking a quick glance whenever he was over. 

So far, they split their time unevenly, spending most evenings together at Jeno’s apartment. Of course, Jeno had no issues with that though he did feel just a tad bit bad for making Jaemin take those few steps that separated their apartments so often. However, Jaemin had no issues with it; in fact, he made it known he liked coming over.

“I love what you did with the place,” Jaemin said, looking over the interior decor as if he had some great knowledge on the field. “It feels very you. Very Jeno.”

“Boring?”

“Now you’re just putting words in my mouth,” Jaemin argued, using the arm thrown over Jeno’s shoulder to pull him in even closer, the pair already touching at every point. “I’d rather you put something else there.”

And just how dirty that mouth of his really was. 

Jaemin was still a saint when it came to Jeno - gentle and caring, cooking for him or simply cuddling with him. He was considerate and could read Jeno and his moods better than anyone else - even his own friends at times. Jaemin knew when Jeno didn’t want to talk or when he was tired and grumpy. He could tell when Jeno wanted more or less affection, catching onto all of his tells, reading Jeno like an open book. 

He was truly too good. Too kind and loving.

But he wasn’t naive, nor was he completely innocent either. 

Jeno came to learn that Jaemin was quite fond of getting Jeno off, taking a sick pleasure in it when all that he used was his tongue and the velvety confines of his mouth (and his hand on occasion). Only a week in and Jeno already lost count of how many times Jaemin gave him heavenly head, wanting nothing in exchange other than the pleasure which came from watching Jeno unfold beneath him. Jeno didn’t complain. He couldn’t complain, too tired to even lift his finger after Jaemin was done with him.

Fuzzy and limbless, all Jeno could do was ask if Jaemin even got anything out of this - if he wasn’t interested in following Jeno into the bedroom one of these nights. 

“You’re taking it awfully slow,” Jeno pointed out. Considering just how far they’ve taken things already, it was strange that Jaemin hadn’t had his way with him already. He surely knew that Jeno was willing - that Jeno spread his legs for a line of men just so that he could forget about Jaemin, all whilst wishing it was Jaemin that brought him to his peak instead. “Are you scared? Oh my god, are you a virgin?”

“I’m not a virgin,” Jaemin assured. 

Go figure. No way a virgin would give head as good as Jaemin. Honestly, Jeno probably couldn’t do it as well as him - not that he was particularly fond of doing it in the first place. Sure, sometimes it was fun, especially when he was really into it, urging for his partner to hold him down or fuck his throat with reckless abandon. But that was rare. Most of the time, he didn’t feel like his partners would even appreciate the effort.

Perhaps another reason why his relationship ended as soon as they did. Not only was Jeno boring, difficult, but he also was more interested in his own pleasure than that of his boyfriend’s.

“Then what is it? Your dick’s not small, is it?” Jeno continued, trying to come to some sort of understanding because as it stood, he had nothing to go off. There was nothing else he could realistically think of that would make Jaemin so reluctant to finally fuck him. A week and nothing but a few - albeit amazing - blowjobs. Just what was he playing at?

More humoured than actually offended by the question, Jaemin rolled his eyes. “My dick’s not small,” he assured. “It’s definitely better than the cheap toys you use to keep yourself occupied.”

Jeno laughed. “How’d you know I have one?”

Something strange flashed across Jaemin’s expression - a mild hint of concern and fear which Jeno couldn’t quite understand. Was he actually confused? Did he not expect Jeno to own at least one dildo? Not that he used it recently. At least not that recently. 

“You do?” Jaemin asked, eyebrows raised. “I was talking about the other guys you might have…” His expression soured, mouth slanted as he churned his words. “Used.”

“Ah… Well, I do have an actual toy,” Jeno pointed out. “In case you were curious about that. And if you don’t fuck me any time soon, I might have to turn to my old friend again.”

“Don’t.”

It was instant. Abrupt. Jaemin sounded half-way between desperate and cautionary. It was a plea as much as a warning, dampened and made far less jarring by the pleading warble in his voice - the glimmer behind his eye, so pathetic and wanting that Jeno couldn’t do anything but wonder just how much Jaemin was restraining himself right now. It intrigued him more than anything else, head tilting to the side, lips curving in a slanted smirk. 

“No? Why not?” He pried, using their proximity to his advantage. “You’ve had me for a full week and you’ve kept me waiting,” Jeno mused, slipping out of Jaemin’s hold to instead hook his leg over Jaemin’s lap, straddling him. He didn’t sit down, hovering, his thighs flexing, the muscle visible beneath his shorts. The sight caught Jaemin’s attention instantly, perverse eyes trailing the detailed outline of muscle, his sharp canines peeking from behind his parted lips. “So why haven’t you fucked me yet?”

The question caused Jaemin’s eyes to reluctantly pry themselves away from Jeno’s thick thighs, looking up at the man in his lap with a raging hunger. Teeth and claws, fire and unrelenting waves. He wanted to devour Jeno, his eyes saying just as much, yet he kept his hands flat by his sides, restrained and obedient. A wolf trained, yet a wolf nevertheless. 

Jeno had seen it more and more often now, learning that this was who Jaemin was deep down. Even as his charming, sweet, loving self, he was still a covetous, zealous animal. He showed it in the way he ate Jeno up, swallowed him down and made him shake, relentless with his affection. Jeno had never cried and begged as much as he has with his short time with Jaemin, overstimulated and twitching whilst still craving Jaemin to devour him until there was nothing left of him.

“Is it because you find me repulsing?” Jeno continued, bolder and more drastic. “Think I’m used up? I mean, I know you saw all the men I brought home so it’s not hard to guess what happened. Is that it?”

“No,” Jaemin assured, shaking his head hard enough to give himself whiplash. “It’s not that.”

“Then what, Jaemin? Why haven’t you fucked me yet? Do you even want me?”

“I do. God, Jeno, I do. You have to know that,” Jaemin said - prayed. Reverent and pleading, seeking forgiveness and understanding. “I just…” He exhaled, bowing his head. 

For a second, Jeno braced himself for something painful; he thought Jaemin was about to share something deep and personal with him - a reason why it took him so long to breach the gap. Perhaps he had rolled the wrong pair of dice before; perhaps he had been hurt or humiliated, afraid of taking the next step. And if that was the case then Jeno felt like a right old idiot and asshole. If that was the case though. Because when Jaemin did look back up, it wasn’t with a broken, deep ache in his heart. Instead, what he saw was a glimmer of that very same starved wolf, gnarling and bearing its teeth, yet simply waiting.

Waiting for the prey to come right up to him - to press its neck against the beast’s snout, begging to be snapped.

“I just like the chase,” Jaemin admitted.

How was Jeno realistically meant to respond to that?

“The chase?”

Jaemin hummed, daring to bring his hands up to Jeno’s waist, his touch scolding hot. “Yeah: the chase. I… I know it sounds weird but I like the idea of getting you so worked up that you- Well, that you come crawling.” He swallowed, his pronounced Adam’s apple bobbing, the mere thought of it making him salivate. “I want to know you really want it too. That you can’t think of anyone else but me.”

What a strange thing to say. 

Yet somehow, it was exactly what Jeno wanted from him. In that way, perhaps, they were similar; they wanted and craved unwavering attention and affection, though where Jeno wanted it without really putting in the effort, Jaemin yearned to be desired above anything else. And Jeno could see himself crawling. He could see himself taunted and teased, all part of the same game that he was playing. 

“I don’t care what it takes,” Jaemin added as he leaned in closer, using his thumbs to hitch Jeno’s t-shirt up, revealing Jeno’s taut abdomen. A shaky sigh passed his lips - lips which pressed against the firm, warm skin. A kiss so gentle yet debilitating, the ferocity of his desires leaving Jeno gasping. “I want all of you, baby. I need you to be sure.”

“Sure of what?” Jeno asked, catching the shakiness in his own voice.

“Sure that you want me just as much.”

It was right about there where Jeno realised Jaemin would put him through hell once he finally properly got his hands on him. He could feel it now so vividly, picturing Jaemin tearing him apart, his sharp teeth ripping apart his flesh. He would bleed, he would cry, and still he would ache and beg for more. Jeno would still want it, desiring nothing more than to be wanted - needed - to the point of madness and consumption. He begged to feel it too, thighs quivering, heat rushing down to his cock. 

Jaemin sensed it, a devilish grin pressed right against Jeno’s abdomen. 

“What do you think?” Jeno asked, taking a handful of Jaemin’s hair to yank the man’s head backwards, forcing Jaemin to look right up at him. “Think I want you enough?”

Pleased, Jaemin leaned back and closer to where Jeno’s hand tugged. “Nearly there,” he mused, his true self right on display for Jeno. 

Truthfully, Jeno liked him like this; he liked the wicked glint in his eyes, the depravity rushing through his veins. He loved it all when it came to Jaemin - the same Jaemin who knew exactly what Jeno needed and when. The same Jaemin who knew his completely, as if fated to be his. Predestined, preordained, whatever other word there was to describe them. Jaemin was always meant to be Jeno’s, and the way in which Jaemin looked at him only proved it more.

“Nearly? I literally climbed on your lap,” Jeno pointed out.

Jaemin hummed in agreement. “But you’re not begging, are you?”

“Hard to beg for something I don’t know,” Jeno said. “What exactly am I getting myself into?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you, Jeno?”

“You’re such a tease.”

“All part of the game,” Jaemin stated. “Besides, if you’re still so worked up, I can help with that.”

“Can you?”

“I sure can.”

Jeno truly did lose count of the times he came from Jaemin’s mouth already, but he was about to add another instance to his tally. Not that he was counting. 

***

Jeno thought it was funny that he really did consider begging.

A stupid, silly thing really, but Jeno was starting to get worked up just like he assumed Jaemin wanted. He found himself whining and urging Jaemin for even more, feeling like he could definitely go again, strung up and dragged along by Jaemin without an end in sight. It was exhilarating, yet it was torture. And Jaemin loved every second of it, his eyes dark and shining, knowing that he was getting closer and closer to what he wanted.

Jaemin had gotten Jeno off in multiple spots already, kissing him all over with that sinful mouth of his. On the couch, on the kitchen counter, up against the wall. But still, Jeno waited. He was being trained, waiting for his treat - a reward for being a patient, good, obedient dog. It was honestly hard to say if Jeno would have ever gone this far with anyone else - if he could allow a guy to tease him so much - but with Jaemin it felt worth it. 

With Jaemin, it was different. Because he didn’t deny Jeno any form of satisfaction, he didn’t make Jeno feel invisible or neglected; he simply didn’t give Jeno all that he craved, working up Jeno’s appetite until he couldn’t hold it in any longer. 

And Jeno was on the brink.

Jaemin must have noticed it too, teasing Jeno for it more than ever. 

Whenever they ended the day at Jeno’s apartment, the pair casually spread out on the couch, Jaemin’s hands would roam, dipping under the thin fabric of Jeno’s t-shirt, languidly stroking over his stomach. The glide of his fingertips was as light as feathers, the touch eliciting shivers out of Jeno, body tensing and preparing for whatever Jaemin threw his way. Yet all that he offered was his hot and heavy hand stroking all over Jeno’s chest, playing with his pert nipples as his mouth attached itself to Jeno’s throat, sucking and kissing, moving up higher to nibble on Jeno’s earlobe before he slipped his tongue inside, wet and disgusting yet oh so intoxicating.

Jaemin palmed him through his sweatpants, getting Jeno off like that, not even needing to touch his blazing skin. 

And Jeno was going insane. 

He had never wanted anyone quite like this. He had never been the type to be so desperate, even if he knew deep inside that his own hunger was the reason he could never keep a boyfriend for longer than a few months. Jeno wanted more than he could ever explain, craving to be loved and worshipped without all the hard work that came into being desirable - the effort which kept a relationship afloat. 

And there Jaemin was, somehow managing to make Jeno feel like he was all that Jaemin could ever think about, all whilst keeping him on the edge of his seat, his belt left undone as he was about to drive headfirst into an oncoming truck. The second Jaemin gave Jeno exactly what he desired, Jeno knew there would be no going back. He could already feel it.

But that required Jaemin to actually make a proper move. 

For the time being, he just had to wait patiently. 

With another week passing by, Jeno was quite certain Jaemin wasn’t about to run off or get bored of him. They hadn’t had the chance to do anything much - nothing but spend time at each other's apartments or go to the shops or gym together - though that didn’t really bother Jeno all too much. Dates were fun, but Jeno was still a homebody at heart. 

He liked enclosed spaces, most likely due to how small his home always felt growing up, adjusting to that pressure one way or another even if he still craved to be set free. But true freedom - the type which came from being released from his cage - terrified him nevertheless. A true contradiction of a man.

Still, Jaemin did finally suggest a date. 

Funnily enough, it was a spot that Jeno had actually been considering going to for a while. Initially he thought it would be a nice spot to go with his friends - rent a car and drive down to the beach, have some seafood and then get back home. But before Jeno could suggest it to his friends, Jaemin asked him out instead. He even mentioned one of the restaurants Jeno was looking into, as if Jaemin could read his mind. 

“Or is that too much?” Jaemin asked, his chin propped on Jeno’s shoulder as he stood behind the man, his arms wrapped around Jeno as he showed his phone screen to him. “It’s about a two hour drive.”

“No, that’s fine,” Jeno assured. “I actually wanted to go.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jeno confirmed. 

“Well one of the guys I work with mentioned it recently,” Jaemin explained. “Took his girlfriend out for her birthday. Said the food was great and the strip of beach is nice to walk out on when it starts getting dark.”

“So you’re copying him?”

“I’m making a suggestion,” Jaemin pointed out. “We can do something else if you prefer.”

“No,” Jeno argued, eager to go with Jaemin. “I want it. I really do. It's just quite extravagant for a first date.”

Jaemin hummed, nuzzling his face into Jeno’s shoulder. “I want to spoil you, baby.”

“Well aren’t I lucky? Keep going like that and I’ll have no other choice but to make you my boyfriend.”

Jaemin tensed - a brief yet noticeable thing. The arm he had wrapped around Jeno’s waist tightening its grip, possessive. “Right,” he muttered under his breath, probably realising that neither of them had actually made it official yet. Easy mistake to make given just how much they got up to already. “If I ask, will you say yes?”

“Are you asking now or are you gauging my reaction for the date?”

“The latter,” Jaemin replied, lips firmly planted against the crook of Jeno’s shoulder.

“You should know the answer by now,” Jeno teased, glancing over his shoulder to take a quick look at his soon to be boyfriend. He would say yes. He would say yes and hope that that wouldn’t somehow jinx his and Jaemin’s relationship. Things were currently perfect - better than Jeno could have ever even begun to imagine them - and all that before they even officially started dating.

But what if the spell broke and the illusion shattered? 

Just like it always did.

Jeno didn’t want to imagine it, not wishing to somehow manifest it into existence. He managed to find Jaemin against all odds, and he wasn’t about to risk losing him over something so… stupid.

“When should we go?” Jeno asked, raising his eyebrows.

“How about next weekend? Saturday?”

“Saturday works fine for me. But you’re driving.”

Jaemin whined. “But I like being the passenger princess.”

“So do I,” Jeno pointed out, laughing when Jaemin tried acting cute with him, pouting and whining, shaking Jeno around in his embrace. “Your idea, your date, so you drive,” he continued, not falling for Jaemin’s - arguably endearing - tactic. And Jaemin didn’t seem to really mind in the end, flipping Jeno around so that they were face to face, giddy smiles reflected in one another.

“Only if you give me a kiss.”

“A kiss? I think I can do that,” Jeno mused. “Here I was thinking you’d ask for more,” he added, jutting his hips forward so that his crotch rubbed against Jaemin’s, the contact causing the other man to suck in a sharp breath, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards with want. “You know I’d be willing, too.” He rolled his hips, grinding up against Jaemin to rile him up. “Aren’t you curious what I can do with my mouth?”

Jaemin licked his lips, gripping hard onto Jeno’s waist. It was exhilarating - the force of Jaemin’s want utterly maddening. Jeno felt like helpless prey, trapped with nowhere to go, completely at Jaemin’s sweet mercy. He craved it. He wanted it more than anything. He ached for more, mouth salivating, begging to be filled, Jaemin’s cock heavy on his tongue. For Jaemin, he would do it. He would drop to his knees. Jaemin would appreciate it too.

“Do you want it that much, baby?” Jaemin asked, leaning forward, noses brushing, hot exhales mixing between them. 

“Don’t you?”

Jaemin hummed, deep and low. “Of course I do,” he replied, the look in his eyes sadistic. “But before our date? I wouldn’t make you do such a thing, baby,” Jaemin stated, pushing Jeno’s hips away, causing him to whimper at the loss. “I don’t need any convincing.”

“Jaemin,” Jeno said, the two syllables closer to a cry as he uttered them through a heavy pout. “I- I don’t offer to blow anyone like… ever. Come on.”

“And I’m touched,” Jaemin assured, kissing the pout off Jeno’s mouth. “But you’re just so cute riled up like this.”

“Are you not in the mood or something?”

“I’m always in the mood around you baby. But you know what I said: I like the chase.”

“Pervert,” Jeno teased, giving Jaemin a light punch to the chest. “And how does this even count as a chase? I’m literally begging you to fuck me. What else do you want?”

“Soon.”

Jeno rolled his eyes. “God, you’re so insufferable,” he complained all whilst tilting his head back, offering his skin up for Jaemin to kiss like he so desperately wanted. “You’re just stalling. Are you sure it’s not because you have a small dick?”

Jaemin snorted. “You want to feel it for yourself? As a one off.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Jeno said, snaking his hand down in between their closely pressed bodies. He palmed across the front of Jaemin’s sweatpants, making out his size underneath. “Fuck.”

Jaemin groaned, teeth nipping over Jeno’s soft neck. “All for you, baby. Soon.”

“You’re- you’re sick in the head, aren’t you?”

“Maybe. Only when it comes to you though.”

“Fuck,” Jeno uttered, needing Jaemin’s mouth on his already. 

Everything Jeno wanted, he found in Jaemin.

***

Their date was planned for the weekend. 

Jeno was excited about it. More excited than he expected himself to be, though that probably stemmed from the fact that he knew Jaemin would ask him to be his boyfriend during it. 

Honestly, Jeno was probably too old and haggard from countless failed relationships to even care about something like that, but Jaemin made him feel light and giddy on the inside, drunk on him with no way to quit. 

And maybe after the date… Maybe Jaemin would stop playing the long game and he would finally fuck Jeno like they clearly both wanted.

But that had to wait until the date.

A date that occupied Jeno’s mind constantly.

He kept thinking about it the entire week, sharing the news with his friends about it.

Hyuck

So are you like sure he’s chill and all that???

Not a stalker or some sort of creep like that???

How long have you even known him

Jeno

Yes, I’m sure

And I already told you I’ve known him basically since I moved in!

Keep up!

Hyuck

Sure sure

Honestly I’m just jealous you’re going with some guy we haven’t even met instead of with us

As if he will treat you better than us

Already forgetting about your friends

Jeno

I’m not!

Renjun

Don’t tease him

He deserves something nice for once

Jeno

Thank you

Jisung

I’m jealous too though

No offence

But I mean

Are you sure he’s cool and all that?

At least cool enough to date him for longer than a month

Jeno

Okay I know my track record is bad

But I think he can actually be a good match!

He’s really sweet and kind

Hyuck

But there’s a catch

There’s always a catch

Renjun

Since when are all of you such pessimists!?

Maybe there’s no catch

Right?

Jeno

I mean…

I guess maybe?

We haven’t had sex yet

But that’s about it

Hyuck

No offence but damn

Isn’t that like the building block of all your relationships

Jisung

Nice way of calling him a whore

Hyuck

Well I didn’t say it!!

And I’m right

Aren’t I???

Renjun back me up

Renjun

No

But honestly I kinda get what you’re saying

Your relationships do always fall apart

And sex is like the glue that keeps them going for longer than they should honestly last

Jeno

Well I’ve managed so far

And Jaemin really is so…

I think I’ll be fine

Hyuck

Right

Well

I still expect a bestie hang out sooner than later

And I guess you can bring your loser boyfriend around

Actually no

Don’t

I don’t want to see that

Jeno

But I have to deal with you and Renjun?

Renjun

Hey!

He’s the disgusting one, not me

Jisung

Umm actually

Renjun

Shut it!

His friends meant well. They always did. 

But Jeno was sure about Jaemin. As sure as he realistically could be.

Jaemin was great. He really was. So great in fact that he offered to do Jeno’s shopping for him so that Jeno didn’t have to bother after work, focusing on cleaning his apartment since he kept complaining about it for ages now. However, he was surprised to see that once he started cleaning, there wasn’t as much as he swore there was in the first place. As if his apartment had cleaned itself. Magic, really.

Still, Jeno did what he could to clear out his living space, freshening it up so that it felt more like home. 

In the process he also cleared out some junk that had collected since he had moved in - cleaning out his fridge, drawers, so on and so forth. 

As he vacuumed, he also managed to find the toy car he swore he lost. He had no idea how it had gotten so far from its original spot, finding it under his wardrobe instead of in the living room. But at least it was there. At least he finally found it, returning it to its rightful place where it would hopefully remain.

“Don’t drive off,” Jeno said sternly, waving his finger at the toy. Honestly, it might have been sentient given the journey it went on. “Good.”

Collecting all his trash and other unwanted and unneeded goods into a large bin bag, Jeno now had to get rid of it all. He carried the bag to the front door and stepped out, carrying the bag with him to take it down. However, when he stepped outside he jolted as he nearly walked into someone - a teenager running across the walkway, pushing his bike along next to him. 

Both startled, Jeno jumped back and the teen swerved, bumping the front wheel of his bike into the oversized flower pot that stood right by the railing.

“Shit,” the teen uttered, the pot swaying but thankfully not breaking. That would have been a pain to deal with. “Sorry,” he said, looking up at Jeno with a shred of remorse. “My bad.”

Jeno exhaled, nodding as he let the teenager pick himself up and continue on with his journey - although walking and not sprinting. 

Honestly, as nice as the flower pot and the vibrant shrubbery it contained was, Jeno had to admit that it was larger than necessary. When he first moved in his friends nearly whacked it with boxes on accident, so it was more of a hazard than anything. 

Jeno wasn’t sure if it belonged to anyone or if it was just here that long that it became a part of the property. There were other flower pots - either standing on the ground or hanging off the railings - to decorate the apartment complex, though none were quite as gaudy as the one standing in between his and Jaemin’s apartments. 

There was no way Jaemin would have ever bought it, so it must have belonged to an earlier resident. 

Jeno shrugged, hauling the bag outside. He shuffled across with it, careful that it didn’t rip. He quickly closed the door behind himself and was about to make his way down to dispose of all his trash, however, just before he could take another step forward, Jeno paused.

Something caught his eye - a small glimmer, like a reflection of light over glass. And it came from the flower pot.

It could have been some sort of rock. A decorative pebble. Something completely normal. But Jeno was curious, and that same curiosity brought him forward, one step after another until he could reach into the flower pot, feeling around for the shiny rock that caught his eye. 

He didn’t find a rock.

Instead, his hand wrapped around something bulkier, the shape and build man-made. He pulled it out, finding a small black cube in the palm of his hand. A cube with a small lens. 

A camera.

What the fuck was a camera doing in a flower pot?

Jeno looked around, confused. Baffled. Was this some sort of prank? Or was this just how the apartment complex installed their security cameras? Because Jeno doubted it. He really did. 

And as he observed the small camera, flipping it over time and time again, Jeno wondered if it was in any way similar to the cameras Jaemin had in his own apartment. And on first glance, they were different. The ones Jaemin installed for security seemed more discreet than this one - newer. But the more Jeno thought about it, the more it made sense for it to be one of Jaemin’s. 

After all, it was outside of his apartment, perhaps to see if anyone suspicious was walking around his place. But then why did it feel like it was more so pointing at Jeno’s door than at Jaemin’s own one?

Had it just been moved after constantly being bumped into? Perhaps. If not that, then what? Was Jeno supposed to believe that Jaemin was watching him? That was ridiculous.

Still, Jeno took a picture and sent it to Jaemin, the other man probably finishing up his shopping trip.

Jeno

[image attached]

Some kid bumped into the flower pot and this fell out

Looks like a camera

Is it one of yours?

Jaemin

Oh

That thing

Completely forgot about it

Yeah it’s one of mine

I’m pretty sure I put it there when I first moved in 

I was overly paranoid back then I’ll admit that much

But I’m pretty sure it’s dead by now

It’s a cheaper one so the battery isn’t great

Probably stopped recording ages ago

Jeno

Ah

Okay

Here I was thinking you were stalking me

Jaemin

Now why would I need to do that?

Jeno

Exactly

Still

Kinda creepy

Jaemin

Yeah

Sorry

I just

I know I seem really paranoid but when I was a kid someone broke into our house

My dad got hurt 

It was terrifying

Which is why I have so many cameras at my place

And why I had one outside

I know the odds of that ever happening again are low but I just don’t want to risk it

Jeno

Oh

I had no idea

I’m so sorry

Jaemin

All good now

Just

I know the cameras can be creepy

Jeno

But I get it

Don’t worry

What do you want me to do with this one?

Jaemin

You can leave it in the pot

I’ll pick it up when I come back

Might see if I can salvage it or change the battery

Might be useful for something else

But I won’t put it back in the flower pot if it makes you uncomfortable

Jeno

I was honestly just more surprised than anything

I think it got knocked around a bit since it looked like it was pointing directly at my door

Jaemin

I originally had it placed to look at the pathway

Jeno

Thought so

I’ll leave it then

How long until you get back?

Jaemin

Just in line to pay

Will be with you soon, baby

Jeno

Good

Jaemin

Miss me already?

Jeno

I miss your cooking

Jaemin

Ahhhh

And here I thought you actually cared about me

Jeno

Oh don’t be so serious

Come back soon

Jaemin

As soon as I can

<3

Jeno

<3

Well, that answered the camera question. Though Jeno wasn’t expecting to learn about Jaemin’s past from it. Jaemin never mentioned that before, though it probably never felt right to bring it up in the first place. 

When Jeno first spotted the cameras in Jaemin’s apartment they weren’t close enough to pry into something so sensitive, and Jaemin’s explanation then did make sense so there was no need to delve into it further. Jeno just hoped that Jaemin didn’t constantly feel at edge when he was at home. No one deserved that.

Jeno went on with tossing out the trash. By the time he made it back to his apartment and washed his hands, Jaemin was also back.

“Delivery for a Lee Jeno,” Jaemin said, standing at Jeno’s door. “Delivered by your personal chef.”

“I quite like the sound of that.”

Jeno welcomed Jaemin inside, letting the man use his kitchen like it belonged to him in the first place. Not wanting to get in the way, Jeno just watched as Jaemin cooked for them. 

He talked Jaemin through his relatively boring day at work, more curious about what Jaemin got up to for the whole day even if he could barely understand what Jaemin said - something about backdoors and bugs and debugging or whatever other nonsense he could come up with. At least Jaemin understood what he was saying, which was all that really mattered. 

Jaemin enjoyed having the company in the kitchen, treating Jeno as his private live audience, showing off as he cooked. And as he waited for the food to do its own thing, Jaemin pulled Jeno in, needing to feel him as close as possible. 

Jeno allowed himself to be reeled in by Jaemin, not resisting. Jaemin was quick to kiss Jeno, the press of his lips a loving thing, soft and honest. As if they hadn’t kissed each other in weeks. 

And second by second, Jeno succumbed to Jaemin’s advances, letting the man kiss all over his throat, dipping Jeno back to lay down on the counter. Giddy, Jeno laughed, more than happy to let Jaemin have at him, feeling all of Jaemin’s raging desire for him - a desire which he still kept contained, waiting for the perfect moment to give them both what they were beyond desperate for by now.

As Jaemin kissed him, Jeno’s vision blurred. He gasped when Jaemin rocked his hips against Jeno, their clothed cocks rubbing together.

“Fuck!”

“I’ve worked up a bit of an appetite,” Jaemin mused. “I don’t think I can wait for dinner.”

“So- So what are you gonna do about it?”

“How about… a little taste?” Jaemin suggested, stroking a hand down along Jeno’s front all the way towards his ass, his intention clear as day. “Hmm?”

“You- Jaemin, I- I’d have to wash up,” Jeno said, panicking even though he honestly would love nothing more right now.

Jaemin hummed, a somewhat disappointed sound to it. “Well that’s a shame,” he uttered. “Then how about this instead?” His hand slithered up to Jeno’s cock, pressing firmly over the outline. “Does that sound good?”

“Really good.”

So that’s how Jeno found himself sprawled over the kitchen counter with his cock in Jaemin’s wanton mouth, eyes rolling back with every moan and bob of his head, feeling weak and like he could collapse if it weren’t for the firm surface behind him. 

As he slipped closer and closer, his orgasm bubbling in the pit of his stomach, Jeno’s eyes looked up at the fire detector. It was a strange thing to focus on, but something about it just seemed odd to Jeno. Odd in the sense that it looked tampered with, the frame not quite connecting.

But Jeno couldn’t focus too much on it as Jaemin brought him to an earth-shattering orgasm, body twitching and convulsing, a loud cry pouring out of Jeno as Jaemin swallowed up every last drop of his forceful release. 

“Oh fuck,” Jeno uttered, breathless and wrecked.

Jaemin grinned, cocky and proud of himself. He wiped some of Jeno's release from the corner of his mouth, licking it off his thumb with a satisfied hum as if it was the best thing he had ever tasted, a true connoisseur. Jeno had become accustomed to that look by now, but he still found it riveting, never experiencing a reaction like that from his other partners.

Jaemin truly was something else.

“Talk about an appetiser,” Jaemin mused, playfully tugging on Jeno’s pants to cover him up. “I'd order seconds but as the designated chef I have a job to do.”

“How will I cope?”

Jaemin laughed, pressing a light peck to Jeno’s pursed lips. 

He coped fairly well, all things considered.

The dinner that Jaemin whipped up for them was good and deserving of praise. Jeno did end up getting another serving, bashful under Jaemin’s watchful eyes, his smile fond. When Jeno looked at him, uttering a shy “what?” Jaemin just shrugged, sharp teeth poking from behind his lips.

Despite being the one to cook, Jaemin also washed up, giving Jeno the time to unwind and digest everything at his own pace.

They concluded the evening together on the couch with Jaemin laying his head on Jeno’s lap as Jeno leisurely stroked through his hair. Jeno thought them to be the picture perfect representation of domestic bliss - funny considering they weren't even officially dating. But they were getting there. 

Jeno didn’t have to ask if Jaemin wanted to stay over, the question unnecessary. 

They made their way to the bedroom, cuddled up together and chatting away until there was nothing else left to say, slowly dozing off for the night.

And it was so comfortable.

Until Jeno had to go to the bathroom at an ungodly hour. He groaned, reluctantly freeing himself from Jaemin’s secure hold on him. The other man shifted at the loss of his man sized teddy bear, but he was fine in a second. 

Jeno wouldn't be long anyway.

He pulled himself up and shuffled towards the bathroom, sparing his eyes the shock of having the light turned on. He knew his way around well enough. 

After doing his business and washing his hands, Jeno was ready to go back to join Jaemin in their warm bed. However, as he walked out, a random thought popped into Jeno’s mind.

What the hell was wrong with the smoke detector?

Realistically: nothing. However, Jeno was still curious.

As such, he quietly made his way to the kitchen. It was too dark to really make anything out, hence Jeno opted to turn one of the smaller lights on to illuminate just enough for him to see. 

Something definitely was weird about it. The body wasn't fully connected to the top part as if someone had taken the detector apart and haphazardly put it back together, the plastic not clicking into place properly. 

But Jeno couldn't really figure out more than that. 

Still curious, Jeno climbed onto the counter carefully, worried that the surface wouldn't be able to hold his weight safely. He gave it a few seconds before he felt comfortable enough to move, shuffling on his knees, sitting up and looking up at the detector just above him.

He reached out for it, giving it a cautionary poke.

It didn't fall apart.

Probably a good sign.

Maybe it just hadn't been installed properly. That was likely. However, Jeno had a gut feeling that something was wrong. He didn't know what exactly made him think that, but it was what spurred him forward, urging him to slowly take off the main body of the smoke detector.

Wiring.

That made sense.

Although…

Confused, Jeno gently tugged on one of the wires, feeling like it didn't look quite right. And as he tugged, the lens that had been pressed against the small hole in the body freed itself, revealing itself to Jeno.

But a lens?

Surely it wasn't a lens. Why the hell would there be a camera in a smoke detector? Jeno wasn't an expert but he knew enough to realise that this didn't make sense.

So he gave the small camera another look over. Maybe it was some sort of sensor, but the closer he looked, the less likely that became. No matter how he tried to spin or rationalise it, Jeno simply couldn't. That looked like a camera.

That was a camera. 

There was a camera in his smoke detector.

Why? And how?

Before Jeno could spiral and start to delve deeper into it, he heard movement from his bedroom. Faint shuffling followed by a low and soft call of his name with a tinge of worry laced into the two syllables. 

Panicking, Jeno hurried to put the plastic body back together, clicking it into place before he quickly got down from the counter, pulling himself together. Just as he got down, Jaemin turned around the corner, looking at Jeno through furrowed brows, the light startling him.

“You alright?” Jaemin asked, confused as to why Jeno was just standing in the kitchen in the middle of the night. He took a small step forward, the single movement alerting Jeno, heartbeat spiking.

Fear.

Jeno felt afraid.

And he felt afraid of Jaemin.

He shouldn't have been, but his body reacted out of pure instinct, pieces falling together in his mind even though they seemed so absurd. Yet he was startled, the discovery of the camera creeping him out to no end. 

Noticing something off about Jeno, Jaemin took another step forward, wary and gentle. “Jeno?” He called out with utmost care, so gentle and tender that Jeno wanted to laugh, feeling sick to his stomach for being scared of Jaemin when he so clearly was worried about him. 

Jeno was simply spooked. This didn't have to do with Jaemin.

So why couldn't Jeno tell Jaemin? Why did a lump forming in his throat at the prospect of telling him what he just found? Why was he scared to ask Jaemin for help? Maybe Jaemin would know more than him? Maybe he could find out what happened or if someone was spying on him?

But Jeno couldn't do it, his gut telling him to keep quiet for now.

Just until he could come to grips with what exactly he saw and what it meant.

“Jeno, baby, what's wrong?” Jaemin continued, finally finding his way right in front of Jeno. He reached for Jeno, fingertips brushing over the fabric of Jeno’s loose sleep t-shirt. As soon as Jeno felt it, he flinched, the reaction jarring and starting. “Jeno?”

Fuck.

“Baby? Did something happen?” Jaemin still spoke with such care, his hands hovering above Jeno’s hips, not wanting to make him even more uncomfortable when he so clearly was in a peculiar mood. 

It didn't make sense. It made Jeno feel like hurling his guts, his throat and stomach stuffed with thick cotton, itchy and suffocating and impossible to cough up. He was at an utter loss, petrified and overwhelmed, the smoke detector heavy above his head. It weighed immensely on him, the camera lens staring right down at him, catching every laboured inhale and exhale, the paling of his complexion, sickly and uncanny. 

“Jeno?”

He couldn't breathe.

Jeno’s breath hitched, the nausea a kick to the stomach. It took Jaemin a split second to realise something was about to happen, stepping to the side before Jeno hurried back to the bathroom. 

He got down on his knees at the toilet, hands gripping onto the seat as he puked. Watery and thin, Jeno coughed up all the vile emotions that had stirred within him, his body trembling, cold and weak.

“Oh baby,” Jaemin uttered softly, joining Jeno to comfort and reassure him. He stroked along Jeno’s back, whispering soothing assurances such as “it's alright” and “just let it all out.” And he stayed with Jeno throughout all of it, his hands rubbing along Jeno’s back and his nape, even kissing his shoulder before he disappeared for a short minute, grabbing Jeno a glass of water from the kitchen.

Jeno wasn't sure what he was even throwing up by that point, left shaking as he managed to purge a mouthful of bile.

“How'd you feel?” Jaemin asked, sitting by Jeno, offering the man a drink. “Is it bad? I can call for an ambulance if-”

“No,” Jeno interrupted, his voice wrecked. It was sudden and caught both of the men off-guard. “I- I'm better,” he assured, not entirely buying into it either. “Just… Don’t know.’

Jaemin pursed his lips in thought, carefully considering the options. “You think it was anything you ate?”

“Maybe…”

Remorseful, Jaemin shuffled closer, pressing his forehead against Jeno’s shoulder. “Do you have anything or should I go to the pharmacy?”

“I- I'll be fine,” Jeno assured. He honestly needed something for nerves and anxiety more than stomach pain relief. That was merely a symptom. “Just… I'll be fine.”

Jaemin hummed, closing his eyes, lips pressed in a heavy and loving kiss against Jeno's shoulder. He had no intention of leaving.

And Jeno felt guilty. 

Guilty for recoiling. Guilty for being scared. Guilty for suspecting Jaemin of something he couldn't verbalise - even in his mind. 

Maybe he just saw wrong.

Maybe there was no camera.

“Think you can make it back to bed or do you need some more time?’

“I- I think I can make it. I just need to brush my teeth.”

“Okay.”

And just like that, Jeno was back in bed, wrapped up in Jaemin’s warm embrace.

His heart raced - as did his thoughts.

He barely slept.

***

It haunted Jeno.

He couldn't stop thinking about it, his eyes subconsciously flickering up towards the smoke detector - too scared to open it and check again, not sure if it would be worse to see the camera again or not.

And worst of all, he couldn't stop thinking if perhaps Jaemin had anything to do with it.

But that didn't make sense. Why on earth would Jaemin put cameras around Jeno’s apartment? His own house made sense, but not Jeno's - unless he was that paranoid about anything happening to Jeno. But even then, there was no reason to not tell Jeno about it beforehand.

So was it Jaemin, or was it something else.

Whatever the case, their date finally came up. 

Jaemin rented out a car for them, doing the drive like he promised, one hand on the wheel as the other sought out Jeno - his hand and his thigh depending on what he felt like. They headed out fairly early to avoid the worst of the traffic and so that they could have enough time to enjoy themselves at the destination.

And all throughout the drive, Jeno’s mind was elsewhere.

He kept looking out the window, cars zooming past in shades of white and grey. He was distracted, not fully there for a majority of the ride - so much so that it obviously worried Jaemin. And he really did his best to cheer Jeno up, visibly concerned as he struggled to understand what exactly was weighing down on Jeno’s mind.

Jaemin tried to start up numerous conversations, successfully getting a few smiles, eye rolls and laughs from Jeno, but not enough to bring him back to the present moment.

In the end, Jaemin settled on music to keep them company, his hand offering Jeno’s thigh reassuring squeezes here and there.

What if he was overthinking? What if this was actually nothing and it wasn't actually a camera stashed away in his smoke detector? And what if he was ruining their date because he misunderstood something he saw?

Jaemin had no reason to put cameras in his apartment. They were basically dating, for crying out loud! What purpose would surveilling Jeno even serve? It's not like Jeno was seeing anyone else! Yes, he had that rough patch where he welcomed whatever man he could find, but that was long over now and he had Jaemin and only Jaemin.

But then again… How long could that camera have been there?

Jeno’s stomach flipped. Warily, he glanced over at Jaemin, the man oblivious as he carefully drove them closer towards their destination. When he did catch Jeno’s eyes at last, he smiled, sweet and loving and so… normal.

There was no way he could have bugged Jeno’s apartment.

Surely.

“Not long now,” Jaemin said.

Jeno hummed, his eyes falling down onto the sight of Jaemin’s firm hand gripping onto his thigh. Strong and unwavering, possessive yet with a tenderness to it that carried across the sincerity of his touch. Not the thing one would expect from an utter creep. From a stalker.

It honestly was laughable to even imagine Jaemin as the type.

Maybe Jeno just needed to check again. Maybe he was overly paranoid after spotting that camera in the flower pot. That made sense. 

So for now, Jeno would do his best to enjoy his date with Jaemin to the fullest.

And it wasn't that hard to do once they finally arrived. Jeno tried to push down all his worries, storing all his discomfort in a little, tight box which he promptly locked with a key, putting that away for the time being. Of course, it was a very tight fit and Jeno struggled to close the cage, but when he did, he could pretend everything was fine.

Everything was perfectly fine, and with Jaemin’s arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him in so that they walked side by side, Jeno was able to enjoy himself.

Thankfully, Jaemin planned everything out for them, finding cafes and restaurants to go to. Cafe first, then a pleasant walk along the beach, followed by another quick drink and then finally a stop at a seafood restaurant - one which Jeno had initially wanted to go to with his friends. Perhaps it was just that popular of a hotspot, or Jaemin just knew what Jeno wanted.

Tired but content from a day well spent, Jeno relaxed and let Jaemin deal with cooking their food. Besides, Jaemin seemed more than happy to do it too, filling up Jeno’s plate with as much as he could, wanting nothing more than for Jeno to get his fill.

“Feeling better?” Jaemin asked, noticing the shift for the better in Jeno’s aura. 

Jeno hummed, picking up some of the grilled fish Jaemin just piled onto his plate, opting to instead feed it to Jaemin since he was so preoccupied with ensuring Jeno ate that he barely took care of himself. 

“Did something happen or is it just one of those days?”

He could say it. He could say something and maybe Jaemin would help him figure it out.

But he didn’t. He stayed silent again, shrugging his shoulders. “Just one of those days.”

Understanding, Jaemin exhaled. “Well, I'm glad you're feeling better now. Eat up to your heart's content: it's on me.”

Shocked, Jeno eyed the spread of food across the table. “Jaemin…”

“Oh come on, I want to spoil you. Besides, I can afford it, okay? So get whatever you want.”

Jeno sucked in his bottom lip, biting on it as he considered if he could actually stomach much more. Jaemin was just too good for him; so sweet and loving, spoiling Jeno just because he wanted to. Jeno didn't know how he managed to get so lucky. He didn't know if he even deserved Jaemin - especially now, his locked up feelings rattling around in their makeshift cage.

Such a strange concoction of emotions.

Fear. Worry. Yet still love. 

Hunger.

“I…” Jeno paused, his eyes locking with Jaemin’s, capturing all of his attention. “Perhaps I shouldn't eat too much,” he explained, his statement trailing off, airy with a sort of promise Jaemin latched onto. 

He shifted in his seat, back straight as the muscles in his face twitched in both shock and satisfaction. “Oh,” Jaemin uttered, the tongs in his grasp stilling momentarily. 

“Yeah. Oh.”

Amused, Jaemin smirked, head tilted to the side. “If that's what you feel like, I won't force you.” With that, he offered Jeno a light kick under the table, slipping his foot in between Jeno’s calves, spreading his legs apart. It was a promise. 

“You don't sound excited,” Jeno mused, leaning forward in his seat, propping his chin up in the palm of his hand. “Was I supposed to beg?”

Jaemin snorted. “I think you've begged enough,” he explained. “Besides, you're the one that suggested it, aren't you?”

“And here I was thinking you liked the chase,” Jeno mused. “Less of a chase and more of a delay.”

“But you're worked up, aren't you? If I said no right now, just how annoyed would you be?”

Jeno huffed, lips jutted out in a frown. “Don't even joke about it.”

“Cute.”

And as they continued their meal, playfully teasing each other in one way or another, Jeno slowly forgot about the key stuffed into his pocket, ignoring the turmoil of his wild emotions. He ignored them for as long as he could, charmed by Jaemin and his easy and disarming presence.

Jaemin, Jeno realised, was dangerous.

Dangerous with his bright smile, his smooth voice and honeyed words. A touch that was both steadying and maddening. Hot and cold. There was danger behind his brown eyes, warm yet hiding something far darker and hotter, a raging fire which Jeno could never hope to extinguish. 

Sharp teeth that poked out whenever he smiled just that bit too wide, sharp and predatory. Jeno wondered if he would ever pierce his flesh with them - if Jaemin would sink them right in and draw blood, needing a taste of Jeno in every way imaginable.

He probably would.

But all of that was easy to ignore when Jaemin held Jeno like he was a delicate piece of artwork, meant to be revered and handled with care. He looked at Jeno with love and an undeniable sense of longing, yearning for his affection and time. 

Jeno wasn't immune to him whatsoever.

“You know,” Jaemin uttered, holding onto Jeno, arms wrapped around his middle as he stood behind Jeno, the pair looking out into the calm waters at the end of a long and pleasant day. “I was actually going to ask you over dinner but you were practically begging for me to fuck you-”

Jeno scoffed, shaking his head. “That's not what happened,” he argued.

“Sure. Well, as I was saying: I wanted to ask you earlier but it didn’t really feel right so… I guess now is the time,” Jaemin stated. “Would you want to go out with me? Like, officially.”

“Officially.”

“Yeah.” As if uncertain, Jaemin’s hold on Jeno tightened. Adorable, really. Heartwrenching too in its own unique way, because why would Jaemin even be so worried in the first place? Why would he have a reason to doubt Jeno saying yes?

As if it wasn't obvious.

“I'd love it,” Jeno assured, glancing over at Jaemin. “I really would.”

“Yeah?” Jaemin asked, hopeful and cute with how large his eyes got. It earned a giggle out of Jeno, the man nodding along.

“Yeah.”

Relieved, Jaemin exhaled.

Jeno laughed. “Did you actually think I wouldn't want to date you? Are you stupid?”

“Maybe,” Jaemin replied. “I just- I really like you. I don't know if I could handle not having you.”

Jeno rolled his eyes, leaning back against Jaemin. “So dramatic.” It was always the other way around, wasn’t it? Jeno was always the one that would try to cling on, only to let go when it was clear he was never enough. But now, Jaemin was the one desperate for him. 

“I can't let you slip by,” Jaemin murmured, rubbing his face against Jeno’s shoulder. “I like you so much,” he added, taking in a deep inhale of Jeno’s scent, allowing it to permeate within his lungs, letting it seep into his bloodstream. The hands at Jeno’s front pressed down harder on Jeno’s tummy, pulling him in closer until Jeno could feel the rise and fall of Jaemin’s chest. 

Jeno felt Jaemin’s selfish desires - his want and thinly veiled hunger. He felt his gentle, pure intentions too, all of which stemmed from his love for Jeno.

And Jeno was weak to it. 

He didn't stand a chance in the first place.

So when they called it a day and piled back into the car, Jeno went along with all of Jaemin’s tricks. He let his boyfriend's hand rise up closer towards his crotch; he let him tease the sensitive spot, working him up right up to the point in which Jaemin started palming Jeno’s cock, one hand on the wheel, the other drawing airy moans out of Jeno.

The drive back was painful. Exciting.

And Jeno knew that the moment they got back, Jaemin would devour him.

Jeno would happily let him.

***

Jeno could barely remember how to breathe by the time Jaemin was done with him. Sweat, tears, drool and a mixture of spit, lube and their collective releases stained skin and crisp white sheets. 

The air was thick and hot. 

Jaemin was still touching Jeno all over, the gentle caress of his hot hand drawing shivers and mewls out of Jeno, still twitching and sensitive all over. He was on fire. He was tossed into the freezing ocean and pulled back out time and time again.

Relentless. Jaemin was relentless.

And Jeno still felt like Jaemin was keeping himself at bay, the feral beast inside of him kept on a short chain leash.

He wondered what would happen if he finally set it free. 

***

Even if he had lost the key and forgotten about the cage, the emotions he had held captive were tired of being locked away, rowdy and unforgiving this time around.

It had been at most two weeks since Jeno and Jaemin officially started dating. In that time, Jaemin had met Jeno’s friends once since Jeno finally invited everyone around, feeling like it was necessary to see everyone after what felt like an entire lifetime ago.

Everything was going great; Jeno was happy, Jaemin was a great boyfriend, and Jeno honestly felt the best he felt in a long time. Work didn't seem as daunting, and coming home to find Jaemin cooked dinner was always a treat. They had even exchanged keys as well - just in case of emergencies, giving the other the spare copy. 

Jeno hadn't used the one Jaemin had given him, feeling strange entering the man's home when he wasn't around. Jaemin told him the same, so in the end it was more of a symbolic gesture than anything else.

Jaemin didn't really go out that much so he was more or less always around when Jeno needed. They still went to the gym together when they both felt like it, keeping to their routines as much as possible - although Jeno was far worse with it whenever he came home after work, rarely feeling anything other than drained by the end of the day.

Jaemin stuck to his thorough workout routine though, and Jeno was honestly thankful for that. For one, it ensured Jaemin had the energy and stamina to keep fucking the daylight out of him (because he was relentless in all the best ways) and also because it gave Jeno some much needed moments of solitude.

Jeno still craved his alone time, chilling on the couch with a snack and a book or movie or just music. Sometimes he even managed to watch a race - or at least a replay of it. 

Jeno did exactly that this time around.

He had a replay of the latest race up and ready, getting his snacks to enjoy. Something sweet, something salty, and a nice drink to wash it down with. Jeno did consider getting rid of the beer that was left in the fridge since his friends came over, alone and unwanted, but in the end he decided against it, opting for a soda he was rather fond of.

He put everything in bowls and poured his drink out. However, as he was about to carry the bowls over, when he turned he knocked the glass with his drink with his elbow, knocking it over onto the floor. 

The glass shattered, the drink spilled.

Jeno groaned, cleaning the mess up.

He was careful with the fragments of the glass, scooping them up in a dustpan before disposing of them. He then proceeded to wipe down the floor, already feeling how sticky it was getting. 

There went his quiet and peaceful evening.

Still, it wasn't the end of the world. After that disaster, Jeno ensured he didn’t miss a spot. Satisfied, he poured himself out another drink, frowning when all that was left in the bottle amounted to half a glass. 

Oh well, he'd live.

Jeno enjoyed his snacks and the race, losing track of time until he heard Jaemin letting himself in, knowing that Jeno was inside. 

He had a plastic bag in his hold, placing it down on the kitchen counter before he greeted Jeno with a kiss on the couch. He smelled nice: mouse perfume and sweat from his workout.

Though usually he showered at the gym. At least when he went alone.

“Had fun?” Jeno asked, lips itching for another kiss.

“Meh,” Jaemin replied, giving Jeno the kiss he wanted. “Barely ended up doing anything. I stopped by the shop though. Got a few things. Have you eaten anything yet?” His eyes fell onto the snacks. “Anything proper?”

Guilty, Jeno pulled away. 

“I'll think of something,” Jaemin assured. He stood up straight, hands on his hips. “What are you watching?”

“The race I missed. Wanna watch?”

“Is my arch rival in this?” Jaemin asked, referring to Verstappen. 

“Yeah.”

“Then no. I'll focus on dinner.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

So Jaemin made himself busy whilst Jeno watched the replay. However, as minutes passed, Jeno thought he would much rather watch his boyfriend. Hence, he paused the race and shuffled his feet across to the kitchen, leaning over the counter as he observed Jaemin trying to figure out what to cook for them both.

Jeno’s eyes landed on the plastic bag Jaemin had left. Curious, he looked through it, eyes widening as he saw a bottle of soda. The same that he had just finished after an unfortunate spill.

How did Jaemin know to buy it?

Jeno pulled the large bottle out. Could be a coincidence, really. But Jaemin hadn't drunk it and Jeno didn't mention it needed buying. Unless he just saw it was running short. That was possible.

Other than the drink there was very little. So little, in fact, that it almost looked like Jaemin had stopped by the shop for just one thing. For the drink.

“Got anything from the shop?” Jeno asked, laying everything out, acting completely normal as if he wasn't experiencing a similar bubbling of nausea in the pit of his stomach as he did when he checked the smoke detector. Subconsciously his eyes glanced up at the object in question, wondering if perhaps he hadn't been wrong about the camera in the first place.

“Not much,” Jaemin replied. “Stopped by for toothpaste honestly,” he explained. “I feel like I've basically used up all of yours. Sorry.”

Jeno hummed, pushing the toothpaste to the side. “And the drink?” He queried, 

“It looks like you liked it,” Jaemin explained. “I saw it and thought it might be worth getting another one. Why? You didn't like it? You were just drinking it to get rid of it, weren't you?” He sighed. “Should've guessed. Guess I'll finish it instead. Or you can pour it out.”

“No. No, I- Thanks,” Jeno said, his chest tight, stomach tying itself into knots. On a surface level, what Jaemin said made sense. It was simply Jaemin being observant and caring, noticing the things Jeno liked. But then again, Jeno couldn't help but feel like this was just all too convenient. 

Way too convenient.

So Jeno began to wonder just how many more coincidences he could notice. 

He had to be subtle about it though. 

Just in case.

So he started out small, mentioning things in his texts to his friends. Cafes, restaurants, places he wanted to go, some as niche as they came. Some, Jaemin ended up bringing up at a later time when trying to suggest a spot for their date. Not all of them, just the ones that were most popular, as if he had searched them up online and suggested them to Jeno without knowing Jeno had thought about them too.

He then proceeded to bump it up a notch. 

Small things, some on purpose and some accidental. 

When he cut his finger with a knife in the kitchen, Jaemin noticed the small plaster wrapped around the miniscule injury practically as soon as he saw him the next time. He kissed it and cooed, telling Jeno to be careful and that he should leave the cooking to Jaemin instead.

But that still didn’t prove to Jeno that Jaemin was anything but an observant and dedicated lover. 

So he pushed further. 

He purposefully ignored Jaemin on the weekend, acting like he wasn't in the mood for anything other than staying at home all alone. Jaemin respected it, giving Jeno all that he wanted. However, as Jeno had his apartment all to himself, he tested just how far he could really take it.

He showered, looked up the addresses of multiple gay bars and clubs and whatnot before he walked over to his wardrobe, pulling the door open to look through his clothes. Jeno pulled some out, thinking of outfits, his skin prickling, nervous and uneasy.

Jaemin texted him.

Nothing in particular, just links to a date spot with a simple ‘how about next week?’

Perfect timing if he was trying to dissuade Jeno from leaving. 

Jeno put his clothes away.

Still nothing conclusive.

So he did more. Whatever he could to make it obvious if Jaemin was somehow watching him at all times. He even went so far as to see if Jaemin would act on any of the porn Jeno watched. To do that, Jeno was very specific with his searches, getting himself off without Jaemin around as if his boyfriend wasn’t giving him exactly what he wanted already. 

Nothing ridiculous, but enough for a clear pattern to form. Enough for it to become apparent what Jeno craved in bed. It might have been easier with an outlandish kink or very niche and specific act, but Jeno wasn’t interested in discovering the deepest and darkest depths of what people got off to, so he went with something he was already rather fond of. 

Fucked against the wall. Fucked against a mirror. Mirror sex.

Next time around, what did Jaemin do?

Fucked Jeno against the wall before flipping him around to finish the job in front of the mirror in the entrance way. And as much as Jeno enjoyed it - as much as he felt boneless and utterly malleable in Jaemin’s hold - he also knew that this was starting to look less and less like a coincidence.

This was planned, perfectly orchestrated.

Which left Jeno with no other choice than to find the cameras.

If Jaemin was watching him, then that meant that Jeno had to find a time to snoop around when Jaemin wouldn’t be actively looking at him. The only time he could think of was at night when Jaemin stayed over at his place; at least that way he would be certain that Jaemin wasn’t spying on him.

The sheer absurdity of the situation wasn’t lost on him, and Jeno was torn between feeling guilty and genuinely terrified. He still couldn’t comprehend it, wondering why on earth Jaemin would ever want to spy on him. 

It honestly seemed like the plot of a movie or some novella, but this was in fact his reality. It didn’t seem plausible, and Jeno felt stupid for even entertaining the idea. But what else was he supposed to do? How else could he explain the piling list of coincidences and strange behaviours?

Things that Jeno would have otherwise brushed off as strange occurrences now popped into his mind more often, making him wonder if perhaps they were far more than mere accidents. Jeno thought of the items that went missing in his apartment - the way things would move and end up elsewhere at a later date. 

He thought of the way he would get back home from work and find his apartment slightly different, cleaner despite Jeno not having touched anything. Things had been moved and touched just enough for Jeno to pick up on the fact not everything was the same as he had left it, but not enough for him to realise someone had been in his apartment. 

His toy car. His fucking underwear.

Jeno didn’t know what to think. How to feel. On one hand he felt uneasy, stomach twisting and turning itself into tight knots, yet on the other hand, Jeno felt… strange. Strange in a way he couldn’t fully describe. Was it bad? Was it good? He couldn’t tell in the slightest. 

What he did know, however, was that he had to find the cameras.

Jaemin was a light sleeper from what Jeno learned by now. However, he was far less likely to wake up after a good and draining fuck. And whilst it perhaps wasn’t the wisest idea to sleep with the man you were suspecting of being a perverted freak that installed cameras in your house, Jeno also still thought of Jaemin as his boyfriend and just his boyfriend. 

For as long as he could, he didn’t believe Jaemin would have done something so… so creepy. Instead, he saw his sweet and loving boyfriend - the same man that had offered him a shoulder to lean and cry on, treating him tenderly and with so much love it felt utterly debilitating. Jeno saw Jaemin, eyes brimming with sheer affection as Jeno straddled him, looking like the luckiest man alive.

Jeno tired him out. He tired them both out, riding Jaemin until his muscles gave out, leaving the rest to his boyfriend. Exhausted, they remained a mess of tangled limbs on the bed, their breathing ragged and heavy. 

And when they finally cuddled up to sleep, Jeno kept himself awake, faking his steady breathing. He forced his eyes closed and felt every second Jaemin watched him, his fondness overflowing until he too couldn’t hold on any longer, slipping away and falling asleep with Jeno in his comforting embrace.

Jeno waited with bated breath until he was confident that Jaemin was fully asleep. He tested just how far gone his boyfriend was by softly blowing air on his face and even faintly whispering the man’s name. When that failed to garner any reactions out of him, Jeno took it as his sign to act. 

The kitchen was first.

Jeno quietly made his way back to stand beneath the smoke detector. And once more, he climbed up on the counter to pull the plastic casing off. Inside, he found the same strange device as he did previously, tugging on the thin wire to get a better look at the round lens attached to the very end. Jeno scrutinised it, taking a good look from every angle. 

It was a camera.

There was no denying it.

Which made sense and it explained how Jaemin could see so much - how he knew so much. 

Now the real question was just how much of his house was bugged. His phone was probably compromised too given how Jaemin was aware of so much already. And if that was the case, then what the hell was Jeno supposed to do next? Should he go to the police? Seek help? Or was he supposed to accept it, observed by Jaemin like an animal in an exhibit, trapped in the illusion of freedom?

Who exactly was Jaemin? And just how far did this go?

Was Jeno the only one, or had Jaemin done this before? When did this start? Would it ever end? Would Jaemin hurt him? Could Jaemin even hurt him? He very much could, but was he actually capable of it? Was the love behind his eyes, the warmth and tenderness of his smile merely an act, or was that real? And was it real enough to not break once confronted?

Jaemin seemed put together, able to withstand whatever was thrown at him. He was restrained, held back by his own volition. But if push came to shove and Jeno confronted him, aware of everything he was up to, would Jaemin let him walk free and unharmed? After all, this wasn’t something to be treated lightly. Full on stalking and surveillance. Jeno could press charges, risking Jaemin’s own freedom. 

Maybe that would be for the best; maybe someone like Jaemin wasn’t supposed to be out and about amongst other people. Maybe Jeno would be doing everyone a favour by handing him in to the police.

But could Jeno really do that?

And could he even prove Jaemin was the actual culprit?

A part of Jeno still wanted to explain the cameras away as being someone else’s handy work; he wanted to attribute it to anyone else, just so that he didn’t have to admit he had fallen into Jaemin’s trap. An expertly laid out trap, so good in fact that Jeno didn’t even notice it until he had been long inside, now with no hope of escaping. 

Right where Jaemin wanted him.

Confirming that his fire detector had in fact been tempered with, Jeno put the body back together, the pieces of plastic clicking together. He slipped off the counter and looked around, wondering what else he could find now that Jaemin was asleep.

He wondered if he could slip into Jaemin’s apartment.

Perhaps that was too risky.

So for now, Jeno opted to scout his apartment, looking around in spots he thought would be the best to stash a camera away in. 

Kitchen, living room, bathroom. Just how much did Jaemin see? Just how long?

Jeno stood in the bathroom, head tilted up as he spun around slowly in the centre of the room. If he was a pervert he would most definitely bug the one room in the apartment that was most likely to see Jeno naked the most often. It only made sense. 

The question was: where exactly was it? Jeno looked around, really trying to find any signs of a camera, but he simply couldn't. There weren’t any obvious indicators that something had been tampered with in the same way as the smoke detector, causing Jeno to spin around and around until he started to feel dizzy.

But he knew there was a camera somewhere.

He just knew.

Not wanting to spin in circles, Jeno left the bathroom for the time being, instead searching around elsewhere. The living room was next up on the agenda, receiving a thorough scan from Jeno only to end up short once more. 

At this point, Jeno was once more starting to doubt himself. 

Maybe the kitchen was a one off. Maybe that was left there from the previous tenant. 

Maybe Jeno was just too paranoid. 

Or maybe he just didn’t know what he was looking for.

On his knees in the living room, Jeno jumped when he heard Jaemin’s low voice behind him. 

“What are you doing?” Startled, Jeno turned around, a hand over his heart. 

He should have guessed that Jaemin would get up sooner than later once he noticed Jeno’s absence. 

“Did you lose something?” Jaemin asked, tilting his head to the side as he tried to understand why Jeno was on the floor and looking under the couch (because clearly that was the perfect hiding spot for a camera).

“Ah.. No, just… I thought I saw a spider run underneath.”

Jaemin raised his eyebrow. 

“How come you’re up?” Jeno asked, changing the topic. He pulled himself up onto his own two feet, helped by Jaemin, his boyfriend always there to support him. God, if it turned out that Jeno was in fact wrong about all of this then he deserved the title of the worst boyfriend to have ever lived for doubting Jaemin and his sincerity. 

“I think I should be the one asking you that,” Jaemin pointed out. “The bed was cold.”

“I- I just needed a drink,” Jeno explained. “And then the spider took all my attention.”

“Is it big?”

“Might even be hairy.”

Jaemin shuddered in disgust. “You can deal with that on your own; there are limits to my love for you. Sorry.”

Jeno snorted, subconsciously taking a step towards Jaemin, pulled in by the man’s gravitational force. “I get it. I guess nobody can be perfect after all.”

Jaemin hummed, a soft smile spreading across his face. He leaned in towards Jeno, their faces a hair’s breadth apart, their warm exhales mixing in the small gap between them. “I’d say you’re pretty close to perfect though.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re my boyfriend.”

“I only tell the truth, baby,” Jaemin assured, his sharp canine peeking behind his smile. Jeno wasn’t sure he bought into his words. Just how honest could he really be? “No one comes close.”

“Are you trying to butter me up right now?”

“No,” Jaemin said, though his devilish smirk pointed towards a different answer. “Is it working though?”

Jeno rolled his eyes. “I’m tired,” he stated. “We should go back to bed.”

“Sounds good.”

Jeno would find those cameras one way or another.

***

He couldn’t find it. 

But he knew.

Jeno knew.

He gave it another week, testing the waters here and there. He would bring up things he and Jaemin never actually spoke about - movies, books, events, so on and so forth - and he would act as if they had. 

And Jaemin did the same, knowing exactly all of the things Jeno had searched up online or discussed with his own friends over text. He would ask Jaemin something as simple as “do you remember the show I mentioned last week?” and Jaemin would say that he did, even going into detail about it.

But Jeno never actually mentioned it. He never brought it up in a conversation. The most he did was searching it up online, watching a review on YouTube, seemingly interested. It was nothing more than a test. And it proved to Jeno that he was being watched. He didn’t know how and where, but Jaemin had installed multiple means of surveillance. 

Jeno felt watched at every second of the day.

Even inside of his apartment - his own four walls, private and sacred - Jeno was never alone. So used to always being surrounded, crammed into small living spaces, never truly left with his own company, the sensation of being observed at all times didn’t affect him like it ought to. 

It was strange in that regard, because Jeno didn’t feel scared per se. Of course, initially he had been shaken up by the whole thing, and the nausea hadn’t dissipated completely, but it wasn’t as bad as it should have been, all things considered.

Jeno would catch Jaemin’s eyes, he would see the way Jaemin looked at him. He would feel Jaemin’s warmth, soaking up all of his love and affection. And Jeno wondered, just how bad could it really be?

And then the rational part of him would wake up and smack some sense into him, bringing back the fear and horror. Just like that, he was stuck in a constant back and forth of feeling fine and feeling constantly on edge. Horror, ambivalence, maybe even a sense of thrill from it too. Maybe quite a noticeable thrill, actually. After all, it took a certain amount of obsession and love to cross the line like this, and as it stood, Jeno had never had anyone act like this towards him. 

They always left. Jeno was never good enough.

But now, he was the most interesting thing in Jaemin’s life. That was exhilarating, wasn’t it?

Maybe Jeno was just as much of a fucked up creep as his voyeur.

Nevertheless, he just needed to put an end to it. One way or another.

Taking safety precautions, Jeno thought he was ready to confront Jaemin about it.

It was now or never.

Jeno

This will sound very weird and maybe even worrying but if I don’t text tomorrow please could someone stop by my place?

Hyuck

Okay what the fuck does this mean?

Jeno

What the hell?

Jeno

It’s nothing

Just a little favour

Hyuck

A favour?

Jeno it sounds like you’re about to die or something

God

Does this have anything to do with Jaemin?

Jeno

Just promise me, okay?

It’s nothing serious

Hyuck

…

Jeno

Please

I’ll message tomorrow

It’ll be our secret

Hyuck

Now you’re scaring me

Do you need me to call the cops?

That’s not a normal request to make

Jeno

I’ll message you tomorrow

Hyuck

Fuck

Okay

Tomorrow

Jeno

Thanks

I owe you one

Hyuck

Just don’t do anything stupid

Jeno

I’ll do my best

That had to do for now.

If Jaemin was reading his messages he might have been confused as well, but surely he didn’t have any reasons to think Jeno was onto him. At least not yet. And if something did happen, heaven forbid, and he tried to text Donghyuck from his phone, Jeno was certain that his best friend would notice. After all, Jaemin didn’t know what ‘it’ll be our secret’ actually meant here. 

As for his boyfriend’s current whereabouts, Jaemin was in the comfort of his apartment - something which pained him considering how much he whined and complained about being apart from Jeno, needing to actually do his work. Though, now that he looked back at it, Jeno noticed the way Jaemin’s words and expression hid a darker truth behind them; for all his gripes at the separation, he didn’t seem to really mind, almost like there was nothing standing in between them in the first place. As if he could see Jeno whenever he wanted, even if Jeno was unaware of it.

Jaemin’s job swallowed up the entire day, leaving Jeno to return to his empty apartment, all alone and quiet. 

His heart pounded, a shiver running down his spine. 

Alone. But always watched.

Jeno considered how he would confront Jaemin. He could just start yelling in his apartment, hoping that Jaemin would realise. But what good would that do? Jaemin could play naive. Jeno had to actually catch him out. He needed to make it clear as day that he knew Jaemin was watching him.

So Jeno walked over to his bedroom, looking around the room, watchful eyes scanning the surroundings as they have done far too often now. He searched for anywhere a camera could have been placed, imagining in his mind all the best angles and positions for viewing pleasure. Right above the bed, or somewhere off to the side? Did Jaemin prefer to see all of him, or was he more focused on all the faces Jeno pulled in the middle of the act? What did he enjoy the most?

Jeno undid his shirt, button by button, slow and purposeful, wondering if Jaemin was watching now as well. 

Perhaps Jaemin needed a little push. After all, Jaemin was technically working, so maybe he hadn’t noticed Jeno made it back home just yet.

With that, Jeno grabbed his phone and sent his boyfriend a text.

Jeno

I’m home

The response was instantaneous.

Jaemin

Is that an invitation?

Jeno

No

Jaemin

No?

Jeno

I’m not in the mood

Just going to bed now

Jaemin

Early night?

Jeno

You could say

If Jaemin said anything else, Jeno didn’t read it. He tossed his phone to the side, continuing to strip out of his clothes. He discarded his shirt and then kicked off his pants, walking over to his bed. He looked down at it, taking in a deep breath before he crawled onto the mattress on all fours. 

Jaemin would definitely watch this.

Confident that the cameras were all on him now, Jeno came to a halt, the mattress sinking beneath his body weight. He waited, wondering what he looked like from behind right now.

Was this the view Jaemin liked the most?

Curious, Jeno kneeled. He straightened his spine before he leaned backwards, head tilted upwards, eyes trailing across the bare ceiling in search of anything - a speck of something akin to a lens - which would prove that all eyes were on him now. And as he leaned back fully, Jeno’s attention was stolen by the tall lamp tucked away in the corner of the room. Hidden in plain sight. It had the perfect angle to it, catching Jeno off to the side and far back enough to catch everything.

Jeno squinted, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to make out where exactly the small camera had been stashed away. Just because he couldn’t see it didn’t mean it wasn’t there. It had to be there.

Amused, Jeno chuckled. He ran his hand up across his torso and towards his neck, rubbing the tightness in his muscles. All this time he had been searching, but it was so obvious now that he got into bed. Jaemin really did have an eye for these things.

It was honestly exciting.

And as awkward as it was, Jeno didn’t mind the thought of Jaemin watching him right now. If anything, it made the act of touching himself all that more arousing. It was a dirty little thing, getting off with his boyfriend just in the next apartment over, working hard whilst Jeno thought of only himself. Yet Jeno couldn’t stop, a twisted giddiness bubbling in the pit of his stomach, the buzz of which reached right up to his fingertips. 

Jeno dragged his hands over his torso, a smile etched across his face, body heat rising. He thought of Jaemin tucked away in front of his computer, staring at Jeno across the screen, watching him fully believing Jeno was unaware of his presence. Would he be frustrated? Annoyed that he couldn’t just barge in unannounced? Or did he find it just as exhilarating to simply watch, touching himself alongside Jeno? Would it piss him off if Jeno cried out someone else’s name? Would it tip him over the edge, and if so, what would he do?

Piqued, Jeno shuddered. He bit down on his bottom lip, imagining it now so clearly. 

Jaemin was possessive and obsessive; he was sweet and tender with an animalistic, mean streak beneath it all. If he knew Jeno was thinking of anyone but him he would make sure to remind Jeno who he belonged to, not giving Jeno a chance to escape. Jaemin was the type to hold on until his hands bled, uncaring and unwavering, determined to see things through to the end. And then there was Jeno, constantly drifting away, his heart yearning but never putting in all the effort required. His knots were too loose, his ship never anchored to the port.

But Jaemin would pull him back, one way or another. 

He had to be watching now.

And Jeno wanted to rile him up more than anything.

His hand dipped lower, the flat of his palm pressing against his cock. Jeno whimpered, rocking his hips, chasing after the pleasure. At that moment, the fear he felt simply vanished. If Jaemin wanted to play a game of chase, then Jeno would indulge him. 

Swaying against his hand, a moan slipped out of Jeno. He continued to seek out the pressure over his growing erection, already worked up from the mere thought of being observed. Jaemin was surely touching himself now too. Perhaps he was really getting into it, stroking himself with Jeno’s image plastered right across his screen. 

So Jeno needed to switch things up.

He called out another man’s name - the name of one of his ex boyfriends. “Mark,” he whined, hips stuttering at the thought of Jaemin, probably shocked and raging. “Fuck, Mark,” Jeno continued, palming himself harder, recounting the times Jaemin’s hands had done the same thing, getting him off without even touching skin to skin. He always made it seem so easy, working Jeno’s body better than Jeno ever could, somehow knowing exactly what buttons to press for Jeno to come undone, trembling and crying in bliss. 

Only Jaemin could do that. 

Yet Jeno still called Mark’s name, waiting for Jaemin to crack.

He was so predictable.

Jeno’s phone vibrated. One text, then another. And then even more once Mark’s name spilled from Jeno’s parted lips once more.

Talk about desperate. 

The texts continued coming in, one after another in a tsunami of notifications. And all Jeno did was get himself off, buzzed and lightheaded with the knowledge he had this level of control over Jaemin. Even as his naive little prey, Jeno still had the big bad wolf on a leash, tugging on it and playing with Jaemin.

Jeno couldn’t let Jaemin slip him by - now or ever. 

Closer and closer, Jeno’s hips rolled with purpose. His free hand stroked across his body, pressing against his strained throat, fingers slipping into his mouth. Wet, he brought them back down to his nipple, twisting and playing with the bud in the same way Jaemin would, but his own touch wasn’t as electrifying as Jaemin’s. Nothing came close to Jaemin, Jeno realised. 

Jeno kept pushing and pushing, surely getting on Jaemin’s nerves. Perhaps his boyfriend was already getting up on his feet, ready to storm out of his apartment just to fuck Jeno right - to remind him that the only name he should ever call out was his. How fun would that be?

Finally, Jeno got to his peak, getting off to the thought of Jaemin; to the thought of Jaemin watching him, annoyed and wanting. He got off on the knowledge that his boyfriend was obsessed, a complete creep and pervert, needing Jeno more than he needed anything else. He hadn’t even done much, merely palming himself, playing around with his sensitive nipples, yet it was one of the best orgasms he’s ever had; it crashed over him like a tidal wave, cold and refreshing, knocking new life into him. 

As he came with a deep moan, Jeno arched his back, falling further and further until his eyes locked onto the lamp in the corner of the room. He stared at it, the aftershocks of his climax wracking through his body, shaking with the outpour of bliss. 

“I know you’re watching.”