Chapter Text
“Hey Eds..?”
“Yeah Richie?”
“Do you remember that day, when we were talking about all our ‘worst fears’?” Richie asks, timid.
“Oh. Well yeah I guess so.” Eddie says, putting down his comic. “Why?”
The boys pause, the hammock suddenly much smaller. They can feel their legs on each other. Richie gulps.
“I just…Do you remember what mine was?”
“Hmm…You said clowns, right?”
“Yeah, I said clowns.”
“Was that not it?”
Richie just nods. Terrified if he’s actually going through with it.
“Then what's your biggest fear? I promise I won't laugh.”
“I’m afraid…I’m afraid of a part of myself.” Richie starts, amazed he even let that much slip.
“What…part?” Eddie says after a pause, suddenly worried.
“You know how Ben and Bill are always talking about Bev and how cute she is or whatever?”
“Yeah, I mean you say things about some girls too.”
“Well, those are all just jokes Eddie.”
“I know but-”
“I don’t like girls the way they do Eds.” Richie spits out. “I like boys and I like someone and I’ve liked them for a long time but this is the first time I’ve said it aloud.”
Eddie swallows.
“Fuck.” Richie says after a second. “Fuck I really just did that.” He gets up from the hammock, trying to hurry out of the hideout.
“Wait Rich I-” Eddie stammers, but Richie is already scrambling up the ladder. His heart beating fast, with tiredness and the feeling of pure terror at what he just did.
Eddie sprints up the ladder, attempting to catch Richie where they stashed their bikes.
“Whatever you do, Eds, please don't tell anyone.” There are tears in Richie's eyes, magnified by his thick lenses. “Please.” He hops on his bike and pedals away, swerving on the uneven path out of the woods. Trying not to hyperventilate.
Eddie tries to chase him but with his asthma he can't bike that fast on such short notice, and his fanny pack is back in the hideout. He can see Richie's brightly colored shirt flapping behind him and follows him to the spot Richie eventually stops. The bridge.
“Richie!”
“Please Eddie just leave I’m sorry that was weird and I-”
“Who.”
“Huh?”
“What boy do you like so much?” He finally asks “Is it Stan?”
“God no.”
“Then who?” Eddie begs. “Listen Rich I’m your best friend you can tell me anything.”
“You wanna know so bad? Look in a mirror Eddie. For once in your life open your eyes and see how much I like you.” Richie says aggressively, this time the tears are streaming down his face in a mixture of snot.
Eddie is a little taken aback. He breathes in slowly. Looking at the boy in front of him. Knowing that deep down something was different in the way he looked at him. Different from looking at Stan or Bill. Noticing that deep down, something was different about him too.
“Rich…I think I’ve noticed something different about myself too.”
“You…You have?”
“Yeah. I have.”