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It wasn’t often Cloud got to help his mom out in the kitchen; in fact, he really barely ever did it as a child—not something he was interested in. She always had it handled, and the one time he went over to someone’s house, they made food for him because he was a guest. However upon returning home with the brand of Shinra over his head now, she thought it’d be time he learned.
“I mean, before I knew it, you’re all grown up right in front of my very eyes.”
He just nodded very solemnly to everything she was saying.
The smell of mushrooms hit his nose as she poured the broth into the pot. “Really, what do they even serve back in Shinra?” She raised an eyebrow. “They are feeding you properly, aren’t they?”
“Just… soup, I guess.” He shrugged. “Didn’t compare to yours, though.”
“So that must be why you invited your SOLDIER friend to come over later. Bet he’ll appreciate some real food,” she teased. “He’s from Gongaga, right? I bet he’ll enjoy getting a taste of what Nibelheim has to offer.”
He scrunched his nose, adjusting his hold on the knife. “Which is mostly mushrooms.”
“Oh, not just mushrooms. We have plenty of fruit, vegetables-” she snapped her fingers- “not to mention I’m going to make us some dumplings to go with it.”
“You’re going all out,” Cloud commented, wiping the beads of sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand, before resuming chopping up the parsley that was laid out on the cutting board.
Claudia hummed. “You returned home after all. After you had just up and disappeared… I was worried.”
He paused mid-chop, then continued on.
“But then I got that little postcard you sent me, and, well, you’re standing in front of me right now.” She looked at him, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw her smile.
He didn’t reply or look directly at her, continuing to cut the parsley into tinier and tinier bits. Earlier, he had to struggle with cutting the tomatoes, and the juice got everywhere. Some of it had almost stained the cutting board, but vigorously drowning it under the water seemed to get it off. Wouldn’t taste good if it tasted like tomatoes.
Despite this being his return home, he actually hadn’t really said much. His mom had done most of the talking; commented about his uniform, how he carried himself differently, pretty much any type of change, she’d noticed. Cloud himself just nodded along, answering her questions with relative ease, but there was slight awkwardness in the air. The unanswered question of why did you leave so suddenly? Never came out of her mouth, yet he knew it was there.
“It’s getting hot in here,” Claudia sighed, fanning herself while she stirred. “Cloud, can you open the window?”
He placed the knife down and moved over to the window above the sink. “Yep.”
He fidgeted with the latch, pushing it open and feeling a cool breeze sweep in, drifting the smell of the stew right out and into the air. He stared out to one of the nearby houses, staring blankly before quickly stepping away when he saw the door open, staring down at the parsley like it owed him something. “Is there anything else you need me to cut?”
Claudia glanced at his work, tapping her chin. “Hmm, no, but could you get some butter out of the fridge?”
Cloud continued to avoid looking out the window, walking over to the fridge and opening it, looking around.
Same as it’s always been. Like this village, like his house, like his mom. Picture-perfect.
(Was Tifa the same, too? How could he face her if he wasn’t even a SOLDIER? He could barely face his own mother. What if she wasn’t the same, what if she had completely changed, what if she was someone completely different? How could he talk to her, if he didn’t even know who she was at all?)
Some part of him wanted to take a photo from his house with him, when he went to Shinra, but he couldn’t really decide which.
(Now it was too late for that. His very own hometown, being visited by the best of the best; and this was all it is, the same, all the time, every time. A picture only meant to exist for the sake of history and the people who live in it.)
“Cloud? Are you lost in the fridge?” Claudia called.
Cloud blinked, snapping out of it and grabbing the butter. “Nope. Sorry.”
He slid it onto the counter next to her, and she gave him another smile. He looked at her blankly and gave a small, very small, smile back. She picked up some of the chanterelles that she had set to the side, dropping them into the pot and readjusting the heat. Picking up the salt and pepper shakers, she shook them up and down into the developing stew, letting the ladle inside sit for a few seconds before picking it up and continuing to stir, looking up and out into town and humming to herself.
Cloud pulled a chair over to the counter for the latter preparation part of the recipe, picking the cutting board up carefully alongside the bowl of garlic cloves, and waited dutifully for his mom to give him the signal.
“Oh, I think I see Tifa—”
Cloud almost dropped the cutting board, stumbling to the side to prevent all his hard work at chopping parsley from falling onto the floor. Claudia blinked, looking over at him, opening her mouth then closing it. “...Saving visiting her for another day, huh?”
“..I want to surprise her.” He lied through his teeth.
“She’s been looking for you on and off all day, you know.” She pointed the ladle at him. “Don’t ignore her, she’s a good girl and has been a good friend to you too.”
“I won’t.” He was hoping to avoid her until he could disappear again. It’s too awkward to explain, you know how I said I wanted to be a SOLDIER? I actually couldn’t become one. I’m just an average troop.
Eventually, Claudia waved her hand over the pot, and he poured the garlic in first. Then, after waiting a bit, she swept the parsley off of the cutting board and right into the broth. Cloud took this as an opportunity to smell the stew, and his eyes went wide. The amalgamation of salt and pepper, alongside tomatoes and varying mushrooms foraged from Nibelheim’s woods—it couldn’t have made him feel hungrier, compared to the soup back in the lunchrooms at Shinra.
“You have some kind of magic with this,” Cloud blurted out.
She snorted. “I’ll take the compliment, my little Troop.”
He crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowing at the nickname. “I don’t get how you do it.”
“Well.” Claudia leaned closer to the pot. “I want this one to taste like home.”
He raised one. “But I am home.”
“I know you are, silly. But I want you to taste that you’re home, too.” She tapped the ladle on the edge of the pot, turning to him and placing her other hand on his shoulder. “It’s not just about the house. I want you to feel like you just got back after wandering around all day, and that you know you’re home by the smell of the stew drifting through the air, and all the other kids are going inside as the sky darkens… but you know where your home is. Because of the way it smells. And looks.” She added on at the end.
He stared at her. “Yeah.”
“Because I want you to know, that wherever you go, and you have this stew, preferably make it— it could be your new home.” She leaned back on the counter. “Because I’m sure you’ll be all grown up before I know it, your own man, and everything. And you’ll be busy, working alongside the big names of Shinra.”
He looked away, eyes drifting to the floor. “That’s not a guarantee.”
(How many times has he heard troopers protecting people on the news? Well, a little bit, but compared to SOLDIERs? Nothing close. Maybe helping a civilian learn the answer to a question they had, or saving a cat from a tree at most. They could never fend off a fiend for long, and if they did, he doubted it’d ever make the news or reach the higherups. Promotions like that weren’t easy. Troopers on the news are just delivering the news of more important people, never their own news; never how they saved the city.)
Claudia walked over to him, placing a hand on his cheek, and he glanced up at her; her face is nothing but an expression of love, not a single sign of disappointment, only pure admiration of who her son has become.
She then pressed a kiss firmly to his forehead. “You’re going to grow up to be a wonderful man, Cloud.” She tucked a strand of his hair out of his face. “You’re already a wonderful son.”
I love you. He wanted to say, but he didn't. Instead, he just nodded. She took a step back from him, looking back at the pot and turning the heat off.
“Can you keep an eye on that for me? Let me know when it’s not boiling.” He nodded again, and she hummed, turning to the butter. “Alright, now, where did I put the recipe for those dumplings…”
He stepped over to the pot, being careful not to touch it and just leaning against the counter, and his eyes pulled themselves back out to the view of the village. The water tower seemed sturdy as always, and while not everyone was inside, a lot of people were preparing to be. No sign of Zack yet. Cloud knew he wouldn’t be seeing him until after everything had been prepared. Despite the fact he had sent an invitation to Zack to tag along to him when he arrived at the house, Zack did still have SOLDIER duties to attend to before that. But, he’d told him he’d be there; just not with him when he first came home.
It was fine, he could handle it, in fact he was handling it just fine right now.
There was the sound of some laughter, and his eyes flicked over to it. Some of the other kids, now all grown up, teenagers now, were talking about something. Something he couldn’t tell what it was, they were probably joking or something, if he had to take a guess. There’s some kids being called inside before it gets too dark out.
The village, almost, felt normal at that moment.
But he knew that there were monsters that were prowling about, ones close to town that did nothing for anyone’s comfort. Part of the entire reason he was here was because of that. And behind those calls for dinner, they were bells of warning, of worry, that if their children were out too long and the SOLDIERs were not fast enough, they would never find their child again.
But with someone like Sephiroth here, he doubted anything would happen.
His wandering eyes returned to the pot. The warmth from the stew brushed against the side of his face, cradling it for a moment, he lightly swatted at it, like that would help. Still too hot, he guessed.
The laughter and calls had then gone quiet, and he felt his shoulders tense when he looked back out. In an instance, almost everyone had disappeared inside their home, the growing shadow being cast by the clouds above and disappearing sun, only then accompanied by the loud silence. He could hear his own breathing, the footsteps of his mother foraging through the cabinets, the sound of doors closing and curtains being drawn, but some being open just enough to keep a lookout.
(He hoped Tifa made it back inside okay.)
Soon, the mushroom stew grew quiet too. He glanced back at it, and the steam seemed to have settled, too. Probably still a little too hot… so he chose to wait a bit, instead of looking outside just turning his head and looking around the house. Claudia, at the counter, cutting a carrot into thin, tiny circles; the furnace in the next room over crackling with the pipes rattling; the faint breeze echoing off of the house’s walls; the flicker of a lamp in the bedroom; the smell of mushroom stew on the stove; it was his home.
He shifted, absentmindedly placing his hand on the pot’s handle, before hot and a sudden burning sensation coursed through his hand and made him pull it right off, accidentally pushing against the pot slightly. His eyes slowly looked down to his hand, and he squinted. A red splotch had now formed on the inside of his palm, crawling up his fingers and accompanied by a few other red spots. At least it didn’t hurt.
Claudia immediately looked over. “Cloud? Did you burn yourself?”
“It doesn’t hurt,” he began to say, but she had already pulled him close by the wrist and turned the faucet on, pulling his hand into the freezing water, which made him flinch. “Mom— I said it doesn’t hurt—”
“It doesn’t hurt now.” She crossed her arms, pulling the chair over. “Sit on this, do not move your hand out of that water until I say so.”
Cloud knew she likely wouldn’t budge on this, so he just sat down in the chair, keeping one arm in the sink and the other just now hanging aimlessly at his side. Really, it didn’t hurt, he personally thought he could keep helping out.
“You could’ve used the ladle to pick up some and tell if it was still hot.”
“I thought it’d be cooler by now.” He leaned his head against the sink edge. “The house was cooling off…” He hadn’t really remembered the pot was right there, but he wasn’t going to admit that he’d forgotten something as simple as that.
Claudia just put the ladle to the side and placed the lid on the pot, sighing. “Well, let's make sure to treat it.”
“It’s not like I’m bleeding.” He huffed a little.
“Burns can be very bad injuries, I’ll have you know,” she chided, holding a finger up. “It’ll start stinging and living up to its name in no time, so keep it under that cool water.”
Cloud slumped against the back of the chair. He hoped Zack wouldn’t come until the burn was basically nothing but a distant memory he could brush under the rug, because this was embarrassing. Hey, come have dinner at my house, which I burned myself trying to help make. He gritted his teeth.
Claudia, in the meanwhile, returned to the cutting board and carted the carrots off into a big bowl. She then picked up the head of a cabbage, holding it still before managing to cut it in half, placing the half face-down before putting the other back in the bag it had come in that sat on the ground. She also briefly stuck it under the water, thoroughly washing it off before letting the cold water submerge Cloud’s hand again. She picked the knife back up, starting to chop the cabbage into slices. Cloud watched before he looked back at his hand, pulling it out from under the faucet to look at the burn. Still red, he noted. Still doesn’t hurt.
Then he heard the stern comment of; “Put it back under the water.”
He looked at her. “Mom, it’s fine.”
She grabbed his arm lightly and moved it back under the water, making him almost jump out of his skin because of the cold again, yet back she went to dicing the cabbage.
Once it had become a sea of squares, she opened the cabinet for another bowl, holding it right underneath the cutting board before she tilted it to the side, pouring all the cabbage perfectly into it. She picked up the salt, shaking it in a swirling motion to cover all of it, before tossing it and swishing it within the bowl, walking over to the fridge as she did and looking around it. “What do you think, should the dumplings have onions too?”
Cloud blinked out of his trance. “No.”
“That’s what I was thinking, might be too much onion flavor in just one meal. And I think neither of us enjoyed tearing up while we cut it… wouldn’t you agree?” She tilted her head while she looked at the other choices.
“Definitely.” He snorted. “Can’t have Zack crying at our house.”
She giggled, picking out a bag of peas, packaged mushrooms, and ginger root. “Too much onion taste means he’d cry?”
“Well, I don’t know. I think too much onion makes anyone teary, at least.” He tapped the counter. “Even SOLDIERs.”
“Mm, a weakness for all of humanity.” She stood up, placing the bowl down and walking over to the cutting board and placing the ginger root and mushrooms onto it. First she moved the root to the side, opening the mushrooms up and getting them out, before starting to cut them, then move into dicing them. She picked the bowl with the carrots back up, dusting the mushrooms into it.
She opened a cabinet and looked around it, picking out a grater and placing the bowl down again as she picked up the ginger root, holding the grater above the bowl and pushing it into it, starting to move it up and down. Cloud quietly watched the skin of it peel away and the insides of it pour through it cleanly, he almost forgot the fact his hand felt like nothing but a blend of static.
His arm following suit was what made him remember, he looked back at it, pulling his hand out from underneath the water again. Still just red. But, he now noticed some of his own skin seemed to be flaking off like the ginger root; not a concerning amount, just some around the edges of the burn. He frowned. He wanted to help; it’d leave a lot less work for her.
So when Claudia finished grating the ginger, turning her head to look back at the recipe to double-check measurements, he scooted the chair closer a bit to reach over and grab the bag of peas when she wasn't looking, tearing it open with his teeth. Once he did, he just held it out to her, waiting.
And when she looked back at him, she paused, placing the knife down. “Cloud…” She crossed her arms.
“What? I didn’t use my burned one.” He shrugged with his shoulders.
“Well, you did keep it under the water.” She took the bag of peas. “I suppose I can’t be that mad about it,” she teased a little, turning back to the bowl and cutting board. Cloud smiled faintly as he pulled his hand away, looking back at the burn. It didn’t look much different, so he sighed, leaning back with a loud creak.
“Restless, huh?” When he just rolled his eyes lightly, she snorted, moving over to the sink and pulling his hand out from the water, the air suddenly feeling so warm compared to how it had before, leaving a tingling sensation dancing across the redness. She checked over it. “Hmm, I’ll clean it, just to be sure.”
Cloud looked at her defeatedly. “It isn’t an open wound, mom.” Pretty sure it’s a minor one too. He doesn’t say that part aloud.
“Better safe than sorry!” She nudged it back under the water, picking up the bottle of soap and pouring some onto his hand. He made a face, but she marched on, rubbing it in gently.
“You know, I’m really glad you have a friend,” she commented. “He sounds nice from all that you’ve told me.”
He just nodded. “Yeah. He’s really nice.”
“I think it’s very important you have someone to stick by your side when you’re so far away from home. Especially someone like him, you don’t find people like that often.”
He felt like a little kid again; his mom helping him with some bruises he got from running around. Except now, he’s a teenager.
“Does it hurt at all?”
(Then he remembered, she’s his mother. All mothers seem to worry when their child is hurt.)
“No, mom.” As if to go against his word, it started to sting. He wrinkled his nose up, and she raised an eyebrow, before he sighed. “A little.”
“We don’t have to bandage it now, but, before you leave tomorrow, I’ll bandage it up so it doesn’t rub up against your gloves the whole way.”
“That’s a bit overkill.” At least nobody will be able to see the bandages… He let her submerge his hand more, which did calm the stinging to merely tingling. “...Thanks, mom.”
“Of course.” She let go of his hand, wiping her hands off on her apron. “Now, let’s let that run for a bit longer while I finish preparing to cook these dumplings.”
He placed his head on the sink’s edge staring at the clear water running over the red, almost looking like a warped mirror of it. “Okay.”
Cloud leaned against his arm, looking over to Claudia while she got out the circles of dough. She held one hand close to the water to soak her fingertips, wetting the edges before using a spoon to scoop some of the filling out of the bowl and placing it right in the center. She folded it in half, pleating it, grabbing another circle and rinsing and repeating.
He sighed, sitting up more and looking at the unset table. He could set it up, but he knew Claudia wouldn’t let him until her timer of him soaking his burn is up. It felt like it had been forever since it started.
She walked by him to get one of the other pots off of the rack, checking it before placing it on the stove, going back to the dumplings and continuing to fold them carefully. The way her fingers folded each one reminded him of when she’d helped fold him a paper airplane once, all because they’d seen a helicopter fly above the village.
He felt his arm beginning to numb again.
“Mom,” he mumbled. “My entire arm’s gonna lose all feeling in it.”
“I’m almost done,” she responded, finishing up the batch before moving to his side, holding his wrist and looking over the burn for what felt like the hundredth time. Then, she turned the faucet off. “Let me know if it starts hurting again, okay?”
He pulled his arm out of the sink, getting off of the chair. “I will.”
“Alright.” She picked the second pot up, turning the faucet back on and placing the pot underneath it. While she did that, he made his way over to one of the bottom cabinets, crouching down and pulling out three bowls, walking over to the table and placing them down, two on one side, one on the other. Claudia placed the pot on the stove, placing the dumplings in. All he needed now was to get utensils, and—his thoughts were knocked right out of place by a knock-knock on the door.
Claudia looked over at the door. “Hm?”
“...I think that’s Zack. Hold on—” Cloud quickly strode over to the doors, making a wince when his burn lightly grazed across the door handle.
When they opened, Zack seemed to be looking over at something else, but upon hearing the doors creak, his attention snapped over. “Heya!”
Cloud opened his mouth to say something, but Claudia poked her head out from the kitchen. “You’re a bit early! Come in.”
“I just went to the house that smelled the most delicious.” Zack grinned, stepping right in like this house was his home, looking around with his hands on his hips. “Your home is really nice, by the way.”
“Thanks.” Cloud sighed, closing the doors behind him.
Claudia stepped out from the kitchen, still using a towel to wipe off her hands. “So you’re the SOLDIER boy that’s befriended my son, huh?” She tilted her head. “Seems like he’s in good company.”
He let out a laugh, giving a thumbs up. “You bet he is.” He turned to look at Cloud. “Say, thanks for the invitation.”
Cloud stepped next to him, crossing his arms. “I’m surprised you even made it. Thought you’d be too busy.”
“Nah, I knew I couldn’t miss a dinner like this.” Zack leaned back, puffing his chest out a bit. “It was either that or the inn… and judging by the smell, I made the right choice!”
“I’m flattered.” Claudia laughed a little. “Well, since you’re here early, how about you help us set up?”
“Yep! I can do that, easy-peasy.” He strolled right into the kitchen, pausing before he could even get close to the table. “Woah, what are you cooking?”
“Mushroom stew and dumplings,” Cloud answered, walking in after him and going over to the table.
Zack leaned closer to the stove, taking a moment to just smell the air. “I can’t wait to absolutely devour those, ma’am.”
“My, my, you really are a kind boy.” She smiled at him, and he smiled back.
“Zack, get the utensils. They’re in the drawer.”
“Can do.” He turned right around and walked over to the drawer, opening it. He picked out three spoons, heading over and placing them all next to the bowls. Cloud grabbed the napkins out, placing one on the opposite side to the spoon.
Claudia hovered near the stove before she took the lid off of the soup pot, scooping some of it up in the ladle, looking over and gesturing for Cloud to come over. He scooped the bowls up, standing next to her and balancing two in one hand, and holding the third in the other. She poured the soup into the first bowl. “Alright, that one will be for me. Zack, could you take that back over to the table?”
“Yep!” He came over and picked the bowl up, pausing. Cloud raised an eyebrow, before glancing down at it too, and he realized Zack had clearly noticed the burn. “That doesn’t hurt, does it?”
“Mom already took care of it,” Cloud stated, gently shooing Zack away over to the table, watching as he placed the bowl down. Cloud then picked up the second bowl, careful not to aggravate the burn, and held it out to his mom while she filled it with more soup.
“How much soup do you want, Zack?” She asked, and he looked over at her, striding over and poking his head in between her and Cloud, squinting down at the bowl.
“How about up toooo, here?” He held his finger at the point, and Cloud gave him a bewildered look while Claudia blinked in surprise.
“Are you sure? That’s almost completely full.” Claudia raised an eyebrow, resting her chin on the top of the ladle.
“Yeah! I won’t spill, promise!” He clasped his hands together.
She shook her head, but despite that, scooped more of the stew up with a smile. “Alright. Maybe take it from Cloud, though. I don’t want him burning himself again.”
Cloud offered the bowl to Zack, and he picked it up with his two hands, holding onto it with a determined, focused expression while Claudia filled it close to the brim.
She looked back to Cloud, going back in with the ladle and pouring the stew with ease into his bowl, filling it about halfway. “Is this still the amount you like?”
He looked down at the warm stew.
(He spent all day at Tifa’s house that day. He had come back quiet and tired, but arrived to the smell of a mushroom stew he knew his mom always made this specific evening. He would walk into the kitchen and take a seat at the table, and when he did, Claudia would turn to him with a bowl already ready, that same day since the first time he tried it, and she would ask; “Is this still the amount you like?”)
“..Yeah. It is.”
Claudia placed the lid back onto the pot, while Cloud went to join Zack who had already made himself comfortable at the table. He sat down next to him, placing the bowl down and picking the spoon up. Zack was staring into the broth, like he was having a staring contest with his own reflection in it. When Cloud nudged him a little with his elbow, he looked at him.
“Why’d you come?” Cloud lowered his voice to almost a whisper.
Zack tilted his head to the side. “You’re my friend.”
He opened his mouth to reply, but just nodded, staring down at his own bowl.
Claudia took the seat across from them. “Before we eat, I do want to say something.”
Both Cloud and Zack looked at her at the same time; Cloud raising an eyebrow while Zack kept his head tilted.
“Zack.” She smiled. “Thank you for looking after Cloud when he’s been away from home. I know it’s likely been busy being a SOLDIER, and now these problems have cropped up for our little village… but, you still made time to come here tonight. I cannot thank you enough for that.”
Zack crossed his arms, sitting right up like a sunflower. “Of course! This guy over here is pretty cool, especially once you get to know him, pretty brave, too.”
“See, Cloud? Next time you visit, you’ll have even more buddies than I can count on one hand.”
Cloud buried his face into one of his hands. “Mom,” he blurted out.
Claudia paused. “What?”
“I don’t know when I’m gonna visit again. Or if you’ll be here.”
He couldn’t bear to look at her right now.
The entire world fell silent within that moment.
The heat of the furnace felt like it suddenly in this very room, right behind him, pressed up against his back. Sweat gathering, trickling, racing down his neck. The edges of skin peeling out from the burn, like an unfurling flower. The pulsing sensation of it, like it has gained its own heart.
“Cloud,” She began, softly.
He felt her gently take his hand into hers, lowering it and giving it a squeeze. Cloud’s eyes darted to the burn, before looking up at her; her eyes full of nothing but love, Zack sitting to the side of him and giving him a grin he’s seen countless times; the smell of mushroom stew he’s had since he could remember; the same as it has always been. Picture-perfect.
And whatever she said next, he can’t remember.
(You’re my son. Of course I’ll always be here.)