Chapter Text
If i don’t die by his sword, then i’ll have to die on these people’s torches and pitch forks. This empire wasn’t burning down because of me, All blame belonged to my ‘holy’ and ‘prestigious’ family, devoted to their religious faith.
I hated them. I hated God.
Because if God truly was all good and all knowing, he would not allow someone like me to be born into this world. Me, who knows only how to inflict pain upon people.
Why does my heart go on beating?
“We” were the most perfect, most dignified family. A family that many see as the perfect example to live by. Rolemodels. Who could blame them?
My father’s a pope, he leads the itoshi name. My older brother, Sae, a cardinal. My mother, the most noble woman of today.
But in reality, all of it was fucking plastic.
My older brother? Yeah, okay fine, he deserved his title, he actually worked for it.
My father, however…
I was ashamed of this family. I didn’t see it as “noble” or “holy”.. it’s the complete opposite. It’s flawed. Tainted with lies and blood from the laborers that generations of my lineage have exploited. There was no such thing as a God truly living inside of our hearts.
Don’t they know? It’s the end of the world.
I stand next to my mother during one of my father’s (aka the pope’s) church processions, my older brother sat in one of the choir stalls among his fellow cardinals.
“Knowing this, that the Law is not given unto a righteous man, but unto the lawless and disobedient!” My father’s voice was stern and firm.
Repulsive.
“to the ungodly, and to sinners, to the unholy, and to the profane, to murderers of fathers and mothers, to manslayers!”
It was then, as my eyes traveled throughout the crowd, that it met dark blue from across the row beside mine, staring at me. I find that i can’t tear my eyes away, and as though neither can he.
“To whoremongers, to buggerers, to menstealers, to liars, to the perjured!”
My father’s voice has already been drowned out. It no longer mattered. It no longer had my attention.
Me and the boy held eye contact for a fairly long time until he had looked away first. Shame.
“Which is according to the glorious Gospel of the blessed God, which is committed unto me.” applauds soon sounded as the pope finished his mass.
Finally. I was growing impatient.
Outside the cathedral, i coincidentally bumped into a familiar figure.
Now, i’ve already lost all faith in things like religion, that includes stupid myths like fate or divine providence, but.. a part of me still can’t help but feel that this coincidence was at least the result of one of the two.
“Oh, my sincerest apologies!” The boy bowed and i can’t help but let out a small scoff. I was no holy figure for him to bow to.
The moment he raised his head, i spoke. “No worries. Just be more mindful of your surroundings in the future.”
An awkward silence had befallen us until he fortunately broke it before i could start walking away.
“You.. um, you are the son of his holiness, the pope, yes?”
“That is correct.” I watched his face flush pink. A weird feeling arose in my chest. Must be.. annoyance?
“Yoichi Isagi. That’s my name.”
“I have no memories that i posed a question concerning your name...” I watch Isagi become more flustered. “Nonetheless, i am Rin.. Itoshi Rin.”
I, for some reason, extend my hand for him to shake but quickly retract it after a brief touch.
Isagi smiles. “Yeah, i know.”
I raise an eyebrow.
“Rin, Dear!” I heard my mother call for me. My head instinctively looked back. I was about to make my way towards her, but i felt Isagi’s hand on mine, trying to stop me.
By the time my eyes returned to him, his hands were already behind his back. Like a guilty criminal.
“I don’t remember giving you permission to lay hands on me, either.”
“I’m aware. It was unintentional. Please accept my apologies.”
“It’s… the second time.” Isagi’s eyes widened, almost hopeful. I’m not sure what for but i know there must have been some kind of misunderstanding. “That you’ve offered your apologies.”
“Ah! Right! Yes, you’re right!” He shakes his head with a chuckle.
“I do remember one thing, though. You were staring at me for a fairly long time earli–“ I don’t get to finish since Isagi interrupts me.
“No. You were staring at me.” He said, rather defensively.
“No? Excuse me? I am absolutely sure. It was you staring.”
“Well, you’re surely mistaken.”
I frown. Isagi was really starting to grate on my nerves. He was quite bold for someone who looked so damn insignificant.
“Rin.”
My older brother, Sae. “Mother is calling.” He stood behind Isagi, also seemingly have just left the cathedral.
I only nod.
“Pleasure meeting you, Sir Isagi. May god bless your soul.” Were my last words to him before walking off towards my family.
I don’t see his odd, almost sad smile.
“The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Itoshi.”