Chapter Text
And waking up again, this cycle repeats itself time after time. Stop the feeling, overcome it, and let go. Can you handle it?
Broken Spawn was walking down the street, just thinking, again. He saw something, or someone, and looked up. It was Fire Ring, his friend.
Who had abandoned him.
He ran up and hugged him, just playfully, god, i just wanted to be nice. Fire Ring hugged him back, then suddenly shoved Spawn on the ground.
“I’m already tired of you! Leave me alone!”
Fire Ring stormed off. Spawn tried to reach out come back oh no no no don’t leave me please but Ring was already gone. Spawn put his hands over his eyes and laid there, on the ground, useless. just useless.
★~◎~☆
Spawn shot up in a cold sweat, tired and retraumatized by his most recent nightmare.
“I need to take a walk..”
Spawn walked past his bookshelf that he loved reading, dismissing it as “Looks boring.” He stopped at the kitchen.
“My kitchen.. I haven’t cooked here in a while.. and I still haven’t taught Ring how to cook properly.”
On the side of the kitchen, was a picture of Spawn and Fire Ring. Hugging, being happy together. Before. BEFORE YOU FUCKED EVERYTHING UP WHY WOULD YOU
“This photo.. I don’t remember when we took it.. Ring is so unconventionally happy in there.. just like I used to be before.”
Spawn laid his head against the door of his one-room house, more broken than ever and anything. He saw his flower. The one small, red flower with four petals that outshone everything else in the room. Not everything, though..
“My flower.. I’m taking care of it.. It’s so bright.. I doubt it will match the brightness of those days when everything was fine, though..”
Spawn stepped outside, light almost blinding him. Same place as always. Nothing different, except.. it was. No one knew what happened. But you can make them know.
He walked over to Periastron, not noticing how everyone else’s eyes looked a bit scribbled over. Periastron wasn’t known for being talkative.. or actually talking in words, but Spawn didn’t remember, didn’t couldn’t care. When he walked over to the bus stop that Periastron was at, Periastron plainly said,
“:D :0 …”
Was Periastron ok? Did he know about him and Ring? Was he going to ignore him too? Spawn still couldn’t remember that Periastron never really said actual words. He asked if Periastron was ok. Clicked some dialogue. That’s all this is, just a couple dialogue options in a scripted game. Not real, right? Periastron replied,
“:( :|”
Spawn walked away. He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand anything about this. Should people be ignoring him for being a horrible friend? Should he be consoled by everyone? Why wasn’t the world more black and white? He didn’t know what to think. He decided to walk to Barry’s Bar. He got halfway there without actually being there before he saw a billboard.
“Just a billboard.. Wait, I know this actor on the picture. Ring told me.. It seems to be.. Domin? He’s an Idol, and Ring loves him as a performer.”
Keep going. Before you throw up, how are you sick because of a picture Spawn remembered how Fire Ring joked that he repeated random things he knew so much that he sounded like a game NPC saying dialogue over and over. Sounded more like a sick thing now. He kept going. Barry’s Bar was right there, next to the Mart-Wal, and the fountain. He looked at the fountain and pictured how he and Ring would sit there. Together. His head hurt. He put his hands on his head and the world got darker. He had to go home. Forget Barry’s Bar and everyone else. Just sleep. Too much. This is all too much.
★~◎~☆
no color. no color at all. this is what you wanted isn’t it? The blackness would not let him see beyond what was in front of him. his color palette was inverted now, white eyes, white spawn symbols on his chest and around his eye, and white tears that wouldn’t stop falling. at least he fell asleep from exhaustion after crying too much. his house was empty, with a square with his symbol, his spawn, under him. i think someone was watching him walk, agonizingly slow for where he wanted to go. back. broken spawn was standing in a black house. it looked like his own, but everything was gone. one door, one window. no Fire Ring picture? outside were 3 portals; the one on the right had a portal in the entrance of a burned-down house, the middle one had one in toppled-over columns, and the left was a temple. broken spawn would never enter the temple. he walked out and up to the crossroads. something told him to go right. what was he even supposed to do about that? he did. the street was colorless except for the gray-blue of the lampposts. there were no colors on the leaves, the benches, or on the man that watched him. he touched the portal and walked into it.
broken spawn was in a strange place. everywhere except for behind him, where he couldn’t look, were rectangular pillars floating. there were red railings, and other paths leading away from the middle that were colorless and looked like where spawn came from before. But in the center.. was Fire Ring. full color! colorful friend! instantly Spawn noticed the former friend, and he started speaking, while looking away, not moving.
“We’ve been friends since we were kids. It’s quite a long time, isn’t it? You were always so excited when you spent time with me.”
spawn started walking toward Ring on a path of floating red-and-gray tiles. his walking was slow, like his mind was trying to send signals his heart could- or would not take. the tiles were falling away behind him. why did he suddenly leave? come back.. please.. but the second spawn stepped onto the platform that Ring was on, where they could hug, make up, be like everything was before, he started speaking again.
“But.. your behavior always annoyed me.”
darkness rushed up to spawn, taking the pillars, platforms, and Fire Ring with it. it closed around spawn with cold, numbing blackness.
Ring never even looked at me..
spawn opened his eyes to an old bridge. no colors existed now. he started walking slowly to the other side of the bridge. on the other side.. was the picture of him and Ring. why can’t they go back to when everything was fine? before the thought was even complete, the bridge collapsed. leaving spawn to fall to the darkness.. and himself. just himself.