Work Text:
The teacher from Anime Elementary class 3Z has never had such a peculiar class.
Of course, being a teacher meant being accustomed to the weirdness of children in general, but this year was a whole different level.
Obviously, the teacher wasn’t aware that the students were reincarnations of some of our beloved Gintama cast.
….
The school year was doomed to fail from the start. The second grade class of rowdy, way-too- mature-yet-still stupid-students were the strangest the teacher has ever seen. They greeted each other like old friends on the very first day, acting with familiarity and talking about a different world or something?
Oh, and some of them made immediate enemies with each other, dueling with swords and umbrellas- WAIT HOW DID SECOND GRADERS MANAGE TO GET SWORDS AND UMBRELLAS THAT SHOOT OUT BULLETS??!?!?
Well, needless to say, the teacher is now terrified of this class. Not like anyone would try to confiscate weapons from angry, possibly mental children.
Whenever the silver-haired kid–Sakata Gintoki, if the teacher remembered correctly(it’s the first week, ok?) would start fighting with a smoking kid with V shaped bangs, a pair of glasses would jump in and claim that they’re not enemies anymore, and that no, just because they haven’t bonded over defeating a corrupt government in this world yet doesn’t mean they can resume fighting.
Wait, a kid is smoking? No one is stopping him? Wait, isn’t that the teacher's job? Why does a kid have access to cigarettes? Why is another kid trying to bomb him with a rocket launcher? A rocket launcher!? WAIT NO GUYS STOP FIGHTING AND DESTROYING THE CLASSROOM!
….
“Honestly,” Gintoki sighed, picking his nose, “This school AU fanfiction’s so much more boring than the Ginpachi-sensei one. Why bother naming the class 3Z if we’re in grade 2, you lazy unoriginal author?”
And the kids act like old men and talk as if they’re from a manga.
“You’re right, Gin-chan! Ginpachi-sensei had way more fights, aru!”
The pair of glasses then started shouting. “No, Kagura-chan, you guys were just fighting a minute ago! At least in Ginpachi-sensei we mostly sit still, since it’s a proper AU and not a flimsy reincarnation fanfiction!”
Yeah, actually what is going on here? This isn’t a manga where the characters are aware of the fourth wall!
“Zura janai, Katsura da!” A long haired boy suddenly remarked out of nowhere.
“No one even said anything, you moron! Wanna go join Bakasugi?!”
“AHAHAHA, AHAHAHA! Kintoki, don’t be so harsh! Zura just wanted to remind the teacher! And Chibisugi is alive now!” A sunglasses wearing stupidly-loud permheaded boy yelled, moments before getting launched across the classroom by a stoic, light brown haired girl.
The teacher’s mouth fell open in shock, and the teacher raced across the classroom, ignoring the other children’s hysterics in favour of checking on the loud fellow, Sakamoto something, to make sure the 8 year old’s not dead.
Please be ok, if you’re dead, I will have to take responsibility, and what kind of kid can kick another across the classroom? The teacher was not very happy, to say the least.
But the kid started laughing that booming laugh of his, with blood trickling down his head, acting as if nothing had happened.
“AHAHAHA, AHAHAHAHA, Mutsu, what was that for? My body’s delicate now, y’know!”
From across the room, the violent girl replied. “For a lot of things, you bastard. And act normal, we’re normal kids in a normal world now. Also, I know you can still fight, so don’t try and fool me.”
Meanwhile, the teacher was absolutely panicking.
“Are you OK? Wait, who am I kidding, you just got launched across the room and you’re bleeding! Wait, why are you just laughing it off? Did your brain get hurt too? I’ll get you to the doctor immediately!!”
Sakamoto just laughed louder as the teacher inspected his body.
“It’s alright, Sensei! Mutsu’s just as strong as I remembered, and we can start the Kaientai as kids now!”
What is the damn problem child talking about? Did he get hit too hard on the head? This is really bad!
“Sakamoto, I’m bringing you to the nurse with me immediatly! You could have died, don’t kick your classmates across the room, kids!” The teacher, still in shock, dragged a still laughing Sakamoto(why is he always laughing) with him to the school nurse.
Leaving the children alone might not have been a good idea.
….
“Doctor, we need you urgently! This boy was just launched across the classroom and his head is bleeding! And I think he’s mental now, he can’t stop laughing!”
The door slowly opened ominously.
“Can’t stop laughing, eh? That sounds idiotic. Come in quickly, I don’t want you to waste my time.”
A DAMN KID OPENED THE DOOR. Correction, a damn tiny kid in a doctor’s coat and spotted hat glaring daggers opened the door.
No time to question things, the long tortured teacher ushered inside and handed over the still laughing child to the other child dressed as a doctor.
The other brat mused over the laughing body.
“Huh, I see now. He’s lightly bleeding and laughing obnoxiously. That’s very annoying.”
“LIGHTLY BLEEDING? HE GOT KICKED ACROSS THE ROOM! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE, AND WHERE’S THE DOCTOR?”
“Will you quiet down? I can assure you, I’m a good doctor. The nurse sucked, so I knocked her out. I’ve had practice, trust me. After all….
The child continued.
“I’m known as The Surgeon of Death.”
DUN DUN DUN