Chapter Text
Everything was torn.
My whole body pulsed with waves of sharp pain and a burning sense of wrong, wringing groans and whines from my raw throat that I could hardly hear over the ringing in my head.
I was already clinging to whatever I could reach, one hand in the old beige carpet and the other closed tight around a blanket on the floored bed I had tried to crawl into hours ago, or a day ago, or maybe it was minutes ago.
Every crash of pain felt worse than the first had, the feeling digging its claws into me deeper and deeper with each hit, the backs of my eyelids flashing in corresponding white hot sparks.
I didn't hear the door open, I couldn't hear much over the ringing and the rush of blood in my ears, but I felt him.
Cpt. Locke was pleased, the new mark told me, so pleased.
“How are you, Arrow?” My Alpha's voice cut through the noise easily, stinging down my body like cold water on fresh burns.
I whimpered at him, trying to find a wordless plea, to tell him sorry, and desperate, and need.
“Oh, pup…” He cooed from somewhere in my small dorm, “You're doing so well, puppy. Come, pet. Come here, hm?”
My body protested, begging me to lie back on the floor with violent shudders of warning about the movement, but I pushed up just enough to crawl.
He was right there, sitting on the poor couch that reeked of my own sweat and blood, he was here.
My eyes didn't work, they were swollen shut, maybe, or I had gone blind.
I didn't care, it didn't matter, no problem.
I found his shoe and just being close enough to touch him quieted the terrible wrongness pumping through my veins.
My entire being settled in the one finger that met his skin under his cuff.
He patted his lap, beckoning me to sit straighter somehow, “Let me see you, Arrow.” My Alpha ordered.
I whimpered again, not defiant, never defiant, just begging for his understanding and pity.
“Shh, pet. That's a good boy, Arrow, there you are.” Locke praised me once I finally managed to pull up and rest my chest against his knees, his big hands finding their place on my cheeks and shocking my swollen features with agony.
Belonging, right, need, my senses insisted despite the pain.
I grabbed onto his pants to keep from keeling over and falling away from his touch.
“So much pain, hm? But necessary, my sweet boy. You understand.” He whispered low and certain, one of his thumbs tracking over to my lips to press past them and into my ruined, useless mouth.
A choked cry forced out of me when he felt over the shattered and empty gum where one of my canines had been a day ago, then over to the next with equal attention.
I hardly heard his affectionate hum over the ringing that was piercing my head through again, “It will heal fast. Your body is still an Alpha's, after all.” He promised.
When his arousal pushed through our bond, I softened myself for him, apologizing through what I could manage for how stiff I still was.
That was fine, I could let him fuck me, I needed his touch too.
“There, there. You're doing so well for me, puppy.” My Alpha ran fingers through my hair as his legs opened and my heart sank.
This, Alpha? Now? Now? I pushed helplessly, only making him chuckle.
“I just want you to try. You can do it, can't you? Oh, Arrow, you're such a strong boy. You can do this for me, can't you? Hm?” My Captain's dark voice insisted, the sweet hand in my hair taking a steadying hold and helping me closer.
He pulled one of my hands from his pant leg and led it to his belt, and I groaned at how dead my fingers felt as I fiddled pointlessly with the cold metal.
It was just for the gesture, I knew, he didn't expect me to be able to do it, he wasn't cruel, he wasn't cruel.
But somehow, I managed, and Locke rumbled a deep and pleased note in his chest that, despite my pain, made me want to earn more of the affection.
He undid the rest in my stead, and I wondered if I would pass out first or if he would be lenient and accept my steady stream of pleaded mercy over the bond.
I didn't want to pass out, not while he was here and I could be awake to feel him.
He would leave after a while.
Leave and leave me alone.
I was hardly breathing when his cock was free and I felt its warmth by my hand.
“Try, pet. I want to see your resilience. I want to see your loyalty.” Locke spoke, loosening his hold in my hair when I shut my brain down and brought my head forward.
My face was numb except for the sharp stabs of pain, my eyes only showing strobes of white and gray, so I needed to use my hand to feel for where my lips were in relation to his cock.
Fuck, were they swollen, but it was somewhat of a surprise that they were still there.
I was half convinced my face had rotted off by how it felt.
He whispered praises to me while I tried to manually pry my unwilling jaw wider to actually fit him in, every graze my fingers made on my top set of teeth feeling like a heavy punch to the face.
I whined to him, almost wishing I had died in the night so I wouldn't have been so useless and hurt and unable to please.
“Shush, puppy, that's alright. You're doing so beautifully. Alpha will help you.” Locke said as his grip in my hair pulled me forward and the tip pushed in and I, I…
The world fell away.
I came back to myself and my Alpha sang, “Good, Arrow! Look at you, puppy, look at you!”
My mouth was broken, it had to be, my bones had to be shattered, broken into little shards.
My teeth were going to fall out, my face wasn't there, it couldn't be, it wouldn't be.
“Try and suck now, hm? Shh, don't cry. Don't cry, Arrow.” He continued to press me down on him, every muscle in my body reacting like each movement was a new bullet wound.
I couldn't, I couldn't, mercy, I threw at him.
He paused graciously, and his other hand traced a line down my neck to the bloody indent of his teeth on my scruff, easing my mushy brain with little circles of promise he drew on it with his finger.
Then I was breathing again, challenging breaths through my ruined nose that only reported the scent of my own blood.
My Alpha sighed softly above me, the bond saying he was fond and proud and it tackled my worries, “There we are, soldier. I'm right here, hm? Will you obey me? Will you try for Alpha? Just one try, pet.”
I had no idea if my lips were listening while I told them to close around him, they were probably already a tight fit, he was big and my lips were swollen, I didn't need to worry about it, I guessed.
The world tilted around me even through my blindness as I took a few careful breaths before daring to do as I was told.
Just the thought of my task twisted the room upside-down.
Not a problem, not a wall I couldn't climb, not something that excused disobedience.
I sucked and my face shattered like glass to a shotgun blast, my heart surging to overdrive and my training telling me to retreat from battle and see to my injuries.
I sobbed on my Alpha's cock and he pulled me away slowly, laughing low under his breath in satisfaction.
My body went limp and Cpt. Locke pet my broken head where he left it in his lap, “Arrow, you are just perfect. What a good soldier. What a good puppy. Let me get that for you, pet.”
Air rushed through my mouth like swallows of acid as my Captain held a handkerchief to my bleeding nose.
I sobbed again just at the thought of trying one more time for Locke, pushing instinctively through the new bond for mercy, pity, forgiveness.
Rest, he pushed back with a reassuring growl, complete, proud, pleased, satisfied.
I melted into tears and hoarse moans of exhaustion as he surrounded me with mine.
I was finally his, finally welcome, finally deserving, finally wanted.
Yours, I promised.
—
I awoke eventually to my body pulling for my attention.
Everything was numb, all the pain from before now a quiet and unimpressive pulse throughout my limbs.
I writhed at first at what my body was telling me before I heard a warning growl from my Alpha and relaxed again.
He had me on my side, his cock buried deep inside of me and his knot hardly the problem my body was convinced it was.
We were still in my dorm and my Captain had stooped so low as to lay in my sad little bed behind me.
Locke's hand climbed my waist and found its way up to cup my throat possessively as he kissed the mark on the back of my neck, “There you are, pup. No moving. It's just me. No one else can have you anymore.”
Yours, I agreed.
He sighed and took his hand back to hook it around my stomach and pull me closer to his chest, “Is the tranq working, pet? I thought I would reward you for how well you did earlier. You did so well.”
I grunted a soft assent, thankful, sorry.
It felt perfect to take him now that the mark was there and the Alpha in me was stripped of its sharp teeth.
The wrong that made me pray for death before was now drowned in the rightness of another Alpha filling the empty void, the mark of his canines stitched into my neck and paying for the absence of my own.
This was right.
This was what the others held over my head.
This was what made them efficient the way they were.
I was right where I was meant to be and Cpt. Locke would wield me with the steady, tactical precision he wielded the others.
Finally, I let out, receiving a laugh and another kiss to that perfect mark.
“I know.” He whispered, a new wave of his seed marking my insides, “I made you wait so long, didn't I? But now you're part of us. Forever, puppy. I promise.”
And that felt like heaven.
—★
Things were a bit fuzzy still, I was in and out of it, the medic, Morgan, visited throughout the day to monitor my progress, flush my healing mouth out with something terrible, and force water on me.
And Cpt. Locke visited in the night to hold me and take the wrongness in my chest away.
On my second day of recovery, the smiley medic visited again and explained the upcoming procedure I had been looking forward to since my first days in the unit, and even brought my fitted silvers to place in my hand for a moment so I could feel them since my eyes weren't responsive.
The holes in my mouth would be filled.
I would finally have the signature silver canines of the Attack Unit.
I reminisced about my days on base, knowing the familiar cold distance between me and the others was closed now, sutured shut with threads of a bond we all had in common.
Threads that all tied back to the celebrated Cpt. Locke that fucked me in my little bunk on the floor at night.
I was part of something incredible.
I would be doing things that meant something.
I had made it.
—
The red and purple view in the mirror did nothing to scare me.
It felt worse than it looked.
It was proof of my belonging.
I reapplied the thick moisturizer onto my cracked lips and ran a hand through my wet, almost-longer-than-regulation hair.
The shower was torture.
I had to sit for it, be okay with my body fluctuating temperatures and adjusting the water to match it, and wash the perfect scent of my Alpha off and out of me.
All I wanted to do anymore was lie down and cry about my teeth.
But I really needed the heat for my muscles and joints, and the steam was better on my throat than I thought it would be.
I wondered how Locke was attracted to my swollen face as I ran my one available eye over it in the mirror.
He loved it, kissed every patch of purple and healing green, and he'd never fucked me so much before, but maybe that was just the fresh claim.
I was running out of lube and he said he'd bring more, that tearing me would only make me a worse fuck later on.
And I died a little when he said that, guilt and shame washing over me because I'd torn plenty of times in the hands of others who didn't care as much.
He promised I felt perfect on him regardless of those times.
That my body how it was when he claimed me was how he knew and loved it.
That he didn't want it any other way.
I was just glad he even bothered touching me.
—!!
“Look at that!” My Alpha cheered, “Good job, puppy, you did it!”
I held the suction just because I refused to give in to the pain this time, blinking up at Locke through tears and trying to focus on the praise etched into his expression, the thrum of pride across the bond.
Attempting to go down for a full stroke left my vision white, and I caught myself in his lap even though I wasn't falling, my body as cold and as stiff as stone.
“Mm, so close, Arrow. Again.” He tasked me, biting at his lip and furrowing a brow like I was a puzzle he was close to figuring out.
I hummed sadly, sorry, and trying.
I could breathe well enough through my nose now, and the pain was easier to tolerate just because I had gotten used to it over the past two days.
And besides, it was at its worst whenever Locke left me alone, and he was here now.
My mind was fortified and ready for the pain and my body was the only issue, refusing me control when the pain made it think we were on the verge of death.
Sucking my Captain off would not kill me, I told it bitterly.
I released the suction for a second of rest and that made my vision snow over too, my ruined mouth springing to life with the freedom and screaming that it was not supposed to be doing what I was making it do.
I couldn't hold back a frustrated whine about it, pushing at my Alpha that I was trying, angry, fighting.
“I know, puppy. Patience. Again, Arrow.” He ordered with a stern blue stare that built a cold sweat up my back.
I shook off the nerves, telling myself over and over that I was going to disappoint him, that I was going to be alone for the night if I didn't do well, that I had to earn what he'd given me already.
The ceiling caved and the couch blurred at its edges when I sucked again, this time knowing not to release until I had swallowed everything and completed the task.
Then the pain flickered like a flame catching on new kindling and I panicked enough I forgot to keep myself steady, teetering to one side until Cpt. Locke had me by the shoulder and promised, “I'll keep you up. Let's see what you can do, soldier.”
I caught my breath before trying to hold the suction and go down, the pain thumping mercilessly in tune with my heartbeat.
I wanted him out of me, I wanted to hide my mouth and never use it for anything again, I wanted to beg him to just fuck me instead, to kill me, to let me go.
My head fuzzed over as tears welled and took my sight away.
I didn't want him to leave me alone.
I went down with a strangled moan of effort, my body tensing and relaxing in confusion, the passage of my throat stretching badly, bits of the anatomy in my neck moving to make room for him, and my Captain laughing triumphantly once I was to his hilt in a way that made my stomach twist in repulsion.
Did he even know how fucking hard that was?
The rebellious emotion scared me enough to will it away with another suicidal stroke back up, and my Alpha pushed forgiveness, good.
“The others were more upset with me than you are.” He explained, his grip on my shoulders firm and grounding, “None of them made it as far as you have, Arrow. I'll gladly take your hate. It's mine. I'll choose what to do with it, alright? Don't throw it away. Am I understood?”
I growled on him, still battling between pain, frustration, and the need to finish the task at hand.
How he was going to beat the repulsion out of me was not my focus right now, I needed to get him to release before I passed out or gave up.
Attention, I pushed at him in annoyance, focus.
My Captain clicked his tongue.
“Alright, fine. Do you need help, then? Should I baby you? Poor little Arrow doesn't want to be lectured and just wants a bellyful of cum. Is that it?” The man mocked me, one hand snaking over to my neck to take a fistful of my hair and force me back down and make me struggle against him in reflex.
He held me there even though I'd broken the suction in pure shock and needed air to recover and continue.
“You won't defy me, puppy. You'll be good won't you?” My Alpha purred while I gagged on his cock and pushed at the couch to get away.
I couldn't win, I couldn't bite, my fucking teeth!
Sorry, sorry, obedience, submission, I cried over the bond.
“That's right. That's a good boy. I decide what to do with you, don't I?” He continued, still holding me down on his hilt with hardly any effort.
Sorry, sorry, enough, mercy, I pushed harder, scrambling around for every pacifying promise I could find.
Shit, I needed to breathe.
“I get to decide, don't I?” He repeated louder.
He wasn't going to let me up until I gave in.
I forced my body to relax and forget about the pain, the oxygen hunger in my lungs, the nauseating ringing in my head, the unnatural pressure of something so big lodged in my throat.
I quietly resigned myself to whatever fate my Captain decided to dish out for me.
Because fighting wouldn't change the outcome anyway.
“Good boy.” Locke decreed as he finally pulled me back up and the first thing I did was choke on the air I needed, “That was very good. I'm not angry at you. I'm very pleased. I was going to let you pass out if I had to.”
I shook my head to keep that idea away, sobbing because it hurt how raw that exchange had left me, it all hurt and I was so raw.
I didn't want to make him upset.
I'd made him upset.
I did well?
He hurt me, he hurt me, he hurt me.
Yours? Important? I begged from him, mercy, lenience, patience, care.
“All mine. You know better now, hm? You won't ever get hurt if you do as I say, I promise. I won't hurt you like that again if you trust and obey me. I did that because you're important, Arrow.” He cooed, patting his lap and taking a hold of my shirt to order me up and into it.
I clambered onto him awkwardly, my body still in confusion about all of the stimulation, the whirlwinds of fighting and pain and resignation.
My blood had painted his dick red, and he stroked it into the flesh with a sigh, “So precious, Arrow. How about I show you how important you are, huh? I'll make you feel good.”
It was always a difficult thing to act smaller than I was, and Locke was bigger than me, sure, but only in terms of musculature.
He was a beast, but I was a big Alpha by my own rights.
People forgot that a lot.
I couldn't shrink down and bury myself into his chest like I knew he wanted, couldn't put my full weight on his thighs for long, couldn't become small and fragile enough to fit in his palm.
But I dipped my head down and rested it in the crook of his neck, trying to find his scent through my broken sense of smell as he rubbed my back patiently.
“My Arrow, my soldier, my dog.” He whispered in my ear, “You are aren't you? So good for your Alpha, hm? So good. So precious.”
I cried a little at him in reply, finally going slack with exhaustion.
Mine, he pushed so hard it made my breath hitch.
“All mine. all mine and so, so precious. My Arrow.”
—★
I woke up in my Captain's bed the next morning, his nice, big, soft bed I had stained with blood and tears throughout the night.
The sun hadn't risen yet because sleeping wasn't a long term thing with my body in so much pain.
And standard pain meds and anesthetics were useless with canine pulling.
It wasn't like they could tranq me every single day.
My insides would liquefy.
Morgan said I was lucky to even get the few hours I did manage to scrape up, and it was thanks to Locke fucking me to sleep every night I got any at all.
I couldn't understand the “I'll keep you up all night,” saying people used.
Clearly they'd never tried to do that.
You fall asleep after a while whether you like it or not.
Well, I did, anyway.
It gave me goosebumps to wonder how many rounds and knots I missed while fast asleep in my Alpha's arms.
Safe and cared for and precious.