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"What the fuck is wrong with you!?!"
His hands were knotted in Stebbins' shirt, slamming the other boy against the wall. Despite the exhaustion of the Walk, Ray was strong. Not as strong as Stebbins, but he was frankly too out of it to fight back. Besides, Ray needed this. Dimly, he thought that this was the first time Ray had ever touched him. A sick part of him liked that.
"Ray." Pete's voice was tired but firm. It was a warning, but of what was quite uncertain.
"You hear me say we can't go on - hear me say I can't live with myself anymore - and for some fuckin' reason that means we deserve to live!?!" His face was so close that Stebbins could feel each angry exhale and trace every contorted line of rage in his face. His eyes were dark and angry. Beautiful, even. He wasn't thinking correctly right now. Stebbins' mind had been a haze of relief, relief, relief ever since the Major had granted his wish. He'd spent the ride here staring at his fellow survivors as they slept on each other's shoulder, spent his medical examination wondering where they were, and had spent the walk to their shared hotel room almost giddy - probably the fault of the painkillers they'd given him. Now, he was here, and they were here, and everything was going to be okay because he had everything he'd ever wanted.
"Ray, let him go." God, wasn't Pete a sight, too. Tired and slouched yet still metaphorically standing strong. Ray challenged him directly, but Pete was something else. Pete was a beacon of hope, of joy in this horridly fucked-up world. His tank top hugged him tightly in a way that could almost make Stebbins swoon right now. He didn't feel like himself, he was so overwhelmed with joy - and painkillers. It was important to note, of course, that Stebbins was on a lot of painkillers. His limbs all felt heavy and numb, a huge upgrade from the sharp stabbing sensations in his legs mere hours before. God, had it only been hours ago he'd been thinking that he'd never see either of these boys ever again?
"No!" Ray had turned away. Stebbins half-heartedly raised a hand to move his face back. "I want answers, Pete! I don't- I can't- I don't deserve to be here!"
"But you are!" Pete responded. "And you're tired and angry, and so am I, and so is he. So… just let him go so we can rest." He really had reached the end of his rope, and yet, he was still so considerate. Stebbins could kiss him. He could kiss either of them, actually. So he did. Ray turned back to him, beginning to say something else along the lines of "say something, you-" and Stebbins simply closed the gap. Ray's skin was warm, likely from the flush of anger and confusion that broke out across his cheeks. It wasn't an intense kiss - wasn't even a good one, simply a meeting of the lips, really - but it was enough for Stebbins to feel satisfied. Ray paused, maybe out of shock or maybe reveling in the sensation, before remembering whose lips were on his and shoving Stebbins away. Still delerious, even more so from the joy of a kiss, Stebbins grinned.
"What the fuck was that." Ray wasn't asking.
I love you. Both of you. I realized I couldn't live without either of you. God, you're both so perfect, and I couldn't bear the thought of letting the world lose such wonderful men as you. Ray, you're so firey and passionate. You're rough around the edges, but God, I'd love to sand down the edges. You could be a wonderful leader if you tried. I'm so enamoured with you. Pete, you're like the sun. You are such a wonderful light in this dark, depraved world. You truly believe in goodness, and dammit, you've made a believer out of me, too. You are the reason I used my wish for good, and I'm so sorry I didn't do what you'd planned, but look! We're all here, and we all have hope, and I don't expect you to feel the same, but… I love you. But what came out was: "I love you two so much… you're like sunshine…"
"Okay." Pete said in a soothing tone. Garraty still looked like a cat, hackles raised and ready to pounce, but one touch from Pete calmed his nerves. "I see."
"Love you…" Stebbins murmured out again, as if that cleared anything up. Yeah, he was very out of it, and he'd only just realized to what extent.
"You're on a lot of painkillers, aren't you, buddy?" He approached Stebbins cautiously, the way one approaches a flailing horse. The concern on his face was adorable. It made Stebbins giggle as he nodded yes. Ray looked horrified by the sound. Stebbins might've been a bit mortified, too, if he'd been aware enough of himself. Billy Stebbins was many things, but a giggler was not one of them. Usually.
"Alrighty, then. Let's get you to bed, and talk about this in the morning."
"I meant what I said…" Stebbins said groggily. Pete was slinging an arm around his shoulders, beginning to guide him towards one of the two beds in the room. Stebbins considered whether Ray would sleep on the couch or sleep with Pete. He didn't want Ray to sleep with Pete. He wanted them all to sleep together. It would oh so wonderful if he could hold them both. He tried to say as much, but again, his mind was quite clouded. "Sleep with me…"
"I think you're a little tired for that." Pete said soothingly.
"What the fuck is he on?" Ray muttered.
"Stay with me…" Stebbins sighed.
"Oh, we're not going anywhere. Don't worry." Pete rubbed his back reassuringly. Stebbins leaned into the touch as if it were the last touch he'd ever feel. As if Pete were lying.
The boys reached the bed, and Pete gestured with his free hand for Ray to pull back the covers. With an exasperated sigh that made Stebbins' heart flutter, he complied, and Pete began guiding Stebbins into bed. "Alright, just lay down- yep, okay, lay down." Hands found Stebbins' back, chest, shoulders, even his legs to swing them into bed. It was a bit pathetic, but it was the most intimately he'd ever been touched. Stebbins was grinning like a fool up at the man as he propped his head up on a pillow. Pete reached for the covers and began to pull them over him. He felt like if the blanket dropped, he'd be trapped, practically stuck a million miles away from the loves of his life. Stebbins began to fuss, reaching out to Pete and clawing his arms. "Stay… stay… stay…" He repeated like a broken record.
"No, no. Shhhh." Pete kept gently shoving his hands down, only for them to pop back up. "You're okay. You're okay."
"Stay…"
"Get your fucking hands off him!" Ray snapped.
"Ray!" Pete snapped back. "Not now." The other boy quickly backed off, trudging towards the other bed.
"Fine, but you get the couch."
"Fine." Pete sighed. "Just…"
"No couch…" Stebbins murmured, but he could already feel sleep in the corner of his mind. It was encroaching fast, and he didn't want to go under. Not yet. "Stay."
"Oh." Understanding flashed through those gorgeous, dark eyes. "You want me."
"Stay." He repeated stupidly.
"I thought you liked Ray." Pete grinned.
"Both." It was too complex a concept to fully explain right now, but Pete seemed to get the gist. Except… he started to leave. "No, no-"
Pete hushed him again. Stebbins felt oh so heavy, but he could feel Pete's presence behind him, then his weight on the bed. The covers rustled, and with all his remaining strength, Stebbins turned to face Pete. Oh, he looked so tired. Circles under his eyes. Stebbins wanted to trace them. The scar on his cheek stood out under the yellow light of the room. He'd never seen anyone like Pete on a stained glass window, but he was certain this is what an angel had to look like. All those artists were wrong. Should've just packed up and quit. He had the ridiculous thought that he should make stained glass windows, but it'd become quite clear quite fast that all of his angels were merely versions of Pete and Ray with wings and halos. He giggled again, though it was more like breathing loudly.
"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Pete sighed.
"You're really gonna stay with him?" Ray called from across the room.
"Yeah, Ray. He's tired and fuckin' delirious."
He could barely comprehend the words. It was taking all his effort to stay awake and aware. But Stebbins felt the need to defend himself. "'m not…"
Pete ignored him. More words flung between the other two men, but Stebbins could hardly even comprehend them. Sleep had all but swallowed his mind, and his eyelids felt weighted.
Before he drifted off, though, he felt the weight of a third body slide onto the bed, and with that lovely thought, he allowed sleep to engulf him.