Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The sound of the passcode being punched in the front door startles Sieun.

He'd been studying all day, without expecting anyone. He glances at the clock, late afternoon is definitely not the time to expect anyone.

His father is almost never home, and if he is, it's only in the very late evenings. His mother visits him even less—he's not even sure if she knows the code to this place.

His parents were high school sweethearts. So sweet, they had Sieun as a sweet sixteen surprise. And as it goes, his parents were too young, too inexperienced, and did not last. By the time Sieun was eight, they had already divorced. Even as a child it had surprised him they even lasted that long.

Sieun's always been smart after all—even skipped a couple grades in school. He's now a senior in SNU, studying physical therapy.

Considering the apartment was almost always empty, and close enough to campus, he decided to just continue living here. No point in renting a place, when he could just stay here and keep some semblance of a relationship with his father—even if it's only a relationship with his wallet.

That brings him back to the beeping that echoes through the place though.

He pads towards the front door when his father pushes through, but he's not alone.

There's a girl behind him. A young girl. Maybe around Sieun's age, if he had to guess.

Don't tell me he had a secret child all this time.

"Sieun-ah!" His father calls him cheerfully, Sieun doesn't remember the last time his father even called his name—forget the cheeriness he's showing.

"Abeoji," he replies, with a slight bow of his head.

"Adeul, I would like you to meet someone," he gestures to the girl, "this is Son Naeun."

The girl bows politely, "nice to meet you."

Sieun bows back, Son? Not Yeon?

He notices Naeun's eyes flicker to his short strawberry hair, a bigger reaction than his father gave him when he first got this hairstyle.

His father's smile falters for a second, "forgive me, son, how old are you this year?"

Sieun's expression instead does not falter. He's not surprised: "twenty-two."

Naeun's eyes widen, his father smiles again, "right! Well, Naeun is only a year younger than you, so you can be friendly with each other."

Sieun's eyebrows lift slightly, barely perceivable, did he bring a girl home to set me up?

"Why?"

His father laughs, "Sieun-ah, I'm introducing you to my girlfriend, can you be a little more excited please?"

His?!

"Oh, nice to meet you," He bows to her again, properly this time—a step mother who's younger than me?!—before he turns on his heel and goes back to his books, closing his door behind him.

I have no time for this nonsense.

There's a knock, but he ignores it.

His father does not take the hint, and leans his head inside the room.

"I know it's quite a shock, but I hope you can be happy for me, Sieun-ah."

"Yes, abeoji," his eyes don't lift from the book in front of him.

"There's something else I wanted to tell you, though."

Sieun's face turns to his father, his eyes following a little later, the question on his face without having to vocalize it.

"The internship at the gym opened, if you still want it?"

He's angry at this stunt his father just pulled, but the internship is a good one. The gym his father works at is actually an exclusive athletic centre devoted and reserved to train National level athletes. The kind that goes on to win Olympics, or similar high level international competitions.

He’d have the chance to intern with the in-house physical therapy team: and there’s no better team he could start his career with and learn from. So unfortunately, he'd have to accept this.

"Oh," he nods, "I would appreciate it."

"Great! I'll let them know, you'll hear from them soon."

"Thank you, abeoji." He brings his gaze back to his book.

It's his first day.

He's both excited and dreading it.

Excited, because he'll get to work in a field he loves, around people who are probably equally as excited as him.

Dreading it, because he hates being around his father in any way, shape, or form.

It's fine.

He'll be fine.

His day goes pretty well actually. His supervisor, Park Humin—or Baku hyung, as he insists Sieun calls him—is kind, even if he's loud.

He's a former wrestling athlete, who picked up physical therapy after retiring—wanting to help younger athletes. He's also quite a senior to Sieun but exudes an energy that's more youthful than Sieun could ever wish to have.

He called Sieun his cute mini-me because they both have similar hair colors—Baku with a rich crimson, Sieun with his dark strawberry—and immediately took him under his wing.

When it's almost time to call it a day, he runs into his father in the hallway right outside of the PT room.

He's not alone, next to him stands former MMA fighter Ahn Suho. The most accomplished one in the country, ever.

Sieun might not know much about random athletes, but he knows Ahn Suho, everyone in the country does.

And Ahn Suho is also his father's senior by one year.

"Oh! Sieun-ah, I'm glad I caught you before you went home!"

His dad smiles all performative again, which annoyingly reminds Sieun of when he introduced him to Naeun.

Sieun bows to both of them.

"Hyungnim, let me introduce you to my son," his father puts a hand on Sieun's shoulder—one he promptly shrugs off—and brings his gaze to Ahn Suho, "his name's Yeon Sieun, he's interning with Baku from today.” He turns his gaze to Sieun, “adeul, this is Ahn Suho, he's training young talent—”

"No need to bore him with my past. Nice to meet you, Sieun-ssi," Suho bows his head slightly, "take good care of me."

Sieun, having studied bodies for years, can tell Suho has been ready to leave his father's proximity yesterday. Considering this, he decides Suho is automatically a friend.

"Suho-nim," he bows at his waist, "I should be the one saying that."

"Cute," Suho ruffles his hair, "call me hyung. Suho-nim makes me feel really old."

Sieun's father's smile turns a little stiff, Sieun knows why—Suho hadn't corrected his slimy hyungnim—and Sieun relishes in it.

"Well, I gotta run, Gotak's waiting for me. The upcoming match and all." He nods at his dad, "uh, see you later, Gyujin-ssi."

Then, as if he can't help himself, pats Sieun's head again, "see you later, Sieun-ah!"

"See you, hyung!", He says, trying to sound extra cheery, just to piss his father off.

"Uh, yeah," Gyujin scratches his head, "hope you get along…?"

A plan develops in his mind, making him smile.

Oh, I'll make sure of it, abeoji.

Here's the facts:

Ahn Suho is older than his father.

He's a well respected name in the industry.

He's also hot. Which is not important necessarily, but helps.

He is friendly, and does not like his father. Definitely helps.

Sieun is going to get back at his dad, tenfold. And Ahn Suho is going to help him with it.

He just has to figure out how to get him on board.

When Sieun comes home to find his father, and Naeun on the couch, he decides to ignore it. Tries to just make his way to his room, but his dad calls out to him.

"Sieun-ah, did you have dinner?"

"Yes, abeoji." He doesn't turn to face him, barely slows his steps.

"Okay. Also," Sieun turns, prompting Gyujin to continue, "are you going to the annual barbecue hosted by the director?"

The barbecue! Of course! That's perfect.

Sieun doesn't let his thoughts bleed into his expression, continues to give his father his bored face as he shrugs, "I guess."

His father wiggles his eyebrows, "I'll be taking Naeun. You should try to bring someone along too!"

Oh, I will.

"Alright, abeoji, if that's all." He bows his head and goes into his room.

He has a week to figure out how to ask Suho as his date to the barbecue.

It’s Friday, and he hasn't seen Suho all week. The barbecue is in two days.

Frustrated at the thought of showing up at the barbecue alone—his plan already failed before it could start—he feels suffocated.

Sieun makes his way to the rooftop.

Baku told him before that it was a good place to just let off some steam. He's not sure what that means, but he decides to check it out for himself.

When pushes the heavy door though, he's met with a broad back. Someone leaning over the parapet, without moving.

Just, existing quietly.

The door slams loudly as it closes behind him, making the man jump a little and turn towards the source of the noise.

Towards Sieun.

"Oh, Sieun-ah," Ahn Suho smiles at him warmly, "what brings you here?"

Sieun scratches his head for a second, "Baku hyung said this was a good place to come if things got a bit too much, whatever that means?"

Suho beckons him over with his hand, "that lunatic likes to scream curses here, but he's not wrong. The view is great, very calming."

Sieun joins him at the barrier, and yeah. Suho's right, it is calming. The rooftop gives a perfect view of the city—Namsan tower visible from here, backlit in the distance. Seoul quietly washed orange in the soft twilight.

"So, Sieun-ah, what's gotten you frustrated enough to take Baku's advice?" Suho asks him with a quirk of his brow.

Up close Sieun gets a way better look at his face. Suho's got some stray white hairs peeking through his raven undercut, his hair a little longer on top falling over his forehead effortlessly, slightly parted on one side, it's also damp—he probably took a shower before coming here. The weather's warm enough for him not to catch a cold though. It's a little messy too, as if he's been running a hand through it. He's got a hint of crows feet by his eyes as he smiles so sweetly, thin lines accentuating his already attractive features.

Breathe, Sieun, he asked you a question.

"Uhm, well," he scratches his head again, "you've met my father."

Suho lets out a soft airy laugh, "that I have. Not that good of a relationship, I'm guessing?"

"That's an understatement," Sieun mutters back, but Suho catches it, if his low chuckle is anything to go by.

"Sorry to hear that."

"It's whatever. I'm just—" he stops himself, he should not be venting to someone he met only once before.

But Suho pushes him to continue—literally—he nudges his shoulder with Sieun's, encouraging him to finish what he was saying.

Sieun sighs deeply, "my father walked in a week ago with a girlfriend that's younger than me. I just—" he takes another deep breath, while Suho stops smiling and starts listening more intently, "he's never really been a father, to be honest. He wants me to be happy for him, but how could I when he's dating someone that could be his child—is literally younger than his child."

The dam's broken, Sieun's laying it bare to the first person who asked.

"He even forgot my age. Hyung," he turns to Suho, who nods at him, still listening, "he forgot his own son's age! How is that okay?! When I finished my military service, he didn't even greet me! He wasn't even home! I didn't ask to be his son— I didn't—ugh. I don't know."

He rubs a hand over his face.

"If he didn't want me, he could've put me up for adoption twenty-two years ago, would've probably been the most responsible, fatherly thing he ever did for me. Instead I'm forced to pretend I have a father."

"I'm sorry, Sieun-ah," Suho says as he pats his back.

Sieun is immediately hit with reality at the feeling.

"No—" Sieun groans, feeling tears pool in his eyes, he looks up—blinking them away. He didn't think this weighed so heavily on his chest until he admitted it out loud.

Embarrassed is an understatement.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I told you all of that."

Suho continues to pat his back, his heavy hand grounding him, "I'm glad you did, it sounded like you needed to let that out."

"Thank you, hyung," he mutters, the moment catching up to him now.

"Anything I can do to help?" Suho asks him, so kindly.

Sieun's head perks up, "actually."

He turns to face Suho, who's slightly taken aback at the sudden enthusiasm.

"There is something you can do for me."

"There is?"

"Go to the director's upcoming spring barbecue with me," before Suho can reply, or question his intentions, Sieun continues, "as my date."

There's a beat of silence, before Suho bursts out laughing. A warm, heavy sound escaping his lips, "as your date?"

"Hyung," his eyes turn pleading, "it would make my father so upset! You're older than him"– which earns Sieun a hey! from Suho – "he’s already trying to suck up to you—I know you know this—and you're good looking! Way better looking than him, I know that must piss him off too!"

Suho smiles at him fondly, "you think I'm good looking, sweetheart?"

Sieun's cheeks tint a rosy color, his normally cold face now delightfully warm. Oh—, "you are."

"Well thank you, I'm flattered. But what are you thinking? This would not be very appropriate, considering—well, our age, first and foremost. Even if you're just trying to piss your father off."

"Hyung, I'm an adult—"

"Barely."

"I'm an adult," Sieun repeats, "and it's nothing crazy! I'll just, I don't know, cling to you so he gets pissed off. He's bringing Naeun, and I want him to feel what I felt but ten times worse because you're clearly everything he wishes he was."

Suho chuckles again, and takes a moment to think about his proposal. He takes a deep breath, "whatever, I hate Gyujin's guts anyway—no offense."

"None taken."

"Let's do it. But—” Suho tries to make his voice sound stern, he fails as he looks at Sieun’s hopeful eyes, “nothing crazy."

Sieun's face splits in a wide, foreign grin. He nods fervently: "nothing crazy! Thank you, hyung!"

Suho ruffles his hair again, then checks his watch.

"Well, gotta head home before it gets too late…" he pauses for a second, "wanna start today?"

Sieun’s gaze becomes confused at his question.

"I'm asking you if you need a ride home?"

Sieun thinks for a second. These days his dad has been home more often, bringing Naeun along for dinner at their place. If he saw Suho's car—no doubt something impressive—it'll be the perfect set-up.

"Yes, please!"

Suho nods, then guides Sieun with a hand on his lower back through the building towards the underground garage. Sieun’s entire body feels like it's on fire, starting from the big palm nestled over his sweater.

Sieun was right: Suho leads him to a humble mat black Audi RS7, with black and red rims.

He gawks at it for just a second, before Suho opens the passenger side for him. After he enters, Suho rounds the front of the car and sits in the driver's seat. When Sieun doesn't move, does Suho lean over to buckle his seatbelt, "safety first, little one."

Sieun pinks a little in his cheeks as he pushes himself into the very comfortable leather black seat.

Suho starts driving, after letting Sieun punch in his address.

The car is smooth, and Sieun feels very safe. Suho doesn't show off, doesn't speed unnecessarily, weaves in and out of traffic smoothly.

He turns on the radio softly. Sieun is grateful that Suho doesn't force any conversation. Instead he hums along absentmindedly to the songs playing, while Sieun takes this moment to think everything over.

When they arrive, Suho doesn't get out of the car, says it'll raise more questions, which Sieun is immediately on board with.

Before he leaves, Suho says, "I'll pick you up on Sunday, don't let your dad know it was me who dropped you off today—it’s more fun that way." He gives him a wink.

Sieun giggles, an unexpected sound even to himself, "alright, thank you for dropping me off, hyungah."

Suho wishes him a good night, and leaves after Sieun enters the building.

When he enters the living room, he sees his father standing by the window, Suho's car rumbling away distantly, while Naeun is sitting on the couch with a blanket over her lap. It looks like she's dozing off.

"I'm home."

"Oh, Sieun-ah," his father's face is stiff, "did someone drop you off?"

Sieun just shrugs, and goes to his room.

His father's face twists into a frown.

It's the day of the barbecue.

Sieun wakes up nice and early, takes a long shower and pads into the kitchen barefoot, with the idea of making coffee.

But he keeps forgetting his father is home more often, with his girlfriend.

They're having breakfast as he enters, "Sieun-ah, do you need a ride to the barbecue later?", his father asks.

The last time he got a ride from him was when Sieun broke his classmate’s nose in high school, and they were summoned to talk it over at the hospital.

"No, I got my own." He takes his coffee and goes back to his room.

He rummages through his closet, and realizes he really needs to upgrade it.

Should've thought about this earlier!

He peeks out of his room, and sees his father still nursing a cup of coffee with his back towards him, while Naeun's on her phone. Perfect.

Sieun tiptoes into Gyujin's room, and quickly rummages through his closet instead. He finds a nice sleek belt, and some expensive black t-shirt with a brand stitched into it he won't attempt to pronounce.

Grabbing both, he heads back to his own room.

He wears his own Levi's black 501s, tucks the t-shirt in, and secures the belt.

He usually doesn't put a lot of thought into his clothes. But the few monthly mother-son dates where they went shopping—where his mother managed to stay until the end—helped him a lot. So he might not care that much, but he does know how to clean up nicely.

Good enough. Bonus points for probably upsetting his dad for wearing his expensive shit without asking.

Styles his hair just slightly, shaking his short dark strawberry hair in a way that looks effortless, but stylish, accentuating his eyes.

Yeah, this should be fine.

His phone buzzes with a message.

-

수호형

I'm outside, little one.

Coming

-

He shuts his phone and walks out of his room, right past his father and Naeun.

"Heading out?" His father inquires.

"My ride's here," Sieun doesn't even spare him a glance, "I'll see you at the barbecue."

"Alright, see you there."

Sieun chooses his cleanest pair of black converse and walks right out.

Suho is leaning against his black Audi as Sieun walks towards him. Between the chunky sunglasses, a sleeveless black shirt that shows off his toned caramel arms, a pair of black wide legged slacks, and hair styled wet and messy like a post mma match win, he looks like something that should be illegal, if you ask Sieun.

He's also holding a small bouquet of red roses and baby's breath mixed together, it's not anything big or obnoxious, just enough to say I thought of you. He grins when he sees Sieun approaching, his sunglasses low on his nose.

Sieun also sees when Suho glances up, which makes him think that Gyujin is still standing by the window.

"Your dad's watching, is the show already on?" He asks, confirming that hypothesis even before Sieun can reach him.

"Yeah, it's on." Sieun doesn't stop walking, and practically throws himself at Suho, his arms secure around his neck. Suho catches him easily, hugging him right back, arms low around his waist.

"He's already shooting daggers at me, I hope I get out of this alive, little one."

"I'll protect you, hyung."

Sieun smiles at him cheekily, tilting his head cutely, after letting go and taking a step back.

He feels like ever since he met Suho, he's been feeling a lot. His normally rare smiles, coming so much easier when he's around the older man. He didn't know he could act this way, felt like these were things that only happen in fiction.

He takes the flowers and smells them, a different, bright smile for Suho: "thank you hyungah, you didn't have to."

Suho’s smile widens at the nickname. He pats his head, careful not to ruin his hair, "if I'm going to do this, I want to do it right, Sieun-ah."

Then, he walks around the car and opens the passenger door, like a perfect gentleman.

Suho helps secure the seatbelt too, when Sieun sits down, making sure Gyujin sees them get all up close and personal from the window upstairs.

He caresses Sieun's cheek briefly when he's done, like he can't help himself, "cute."

Sieun's cheeks bloom red.

Then Suho rounds the car and sits in the driver's seat, fastening his own belt too.

"You look nice today, Sieun-ah."

"Thank you, hyung," he plays with his fingers in his lap, "you too."

Suho flashes him a smile, "thank you, sweetheart."

They drive off.

The first thing Sieun notices is that they're not heading in the direction of the event, at all.

"Uhm, hyung, where are we going?" He asks after a while, unsure if he's mistaken.

"Huh? Oh, I thought it would be better if we arrived later? Get more attention that way," he glances at Sieun, "unless you want to be early?"

Sieun shakes his head, "no, that's actually a good idea. But… why did you pick me up so early, then?"

"Well, for one, your dad is already seething from me picking you up and being all touchy first thing,” Suho chuckles, “and it'll be worse when he arrives at the barbecue before us, even though we clearly left earlier."

Sieun's eyes widen a little, he claps all slow and exaggerated, "wahhh hyung, you're so good at this!" He gives him a thumbs up.

Suho just shrugs, petting the back of Sieun's head once.

"Anyway, darling, anywhere you want to go before we go to the party? My treat."

Sieun thinks for a moment, "how about some ice cream? The weather's really nice."

Suho grins, "your wish is my command, little one."

Sieun ducks his head as he feels his cheeks warm.

Suho drives them to an ice cream shop on Eurwangni-beach. It's quite far—about forty minutes from Sieun's house, but Sieun doesn't mind. The drive was nice, the view was pretty—he did not just stare at Suho's side profile the entire time—and the destination was absolutely worth it. The sun shines down brightly, making the water glitter beautifully, the little ice cream shop standing alone like a little haven against the heat.

Plus the later they arrive at the party, the better.

So they walk side by side towards the little ice cream vendor. Suho turns around expecting Sieun to be behind him and instead finds that he is at his side. The smile he gets from him looks like a real one, visible even behind Suho’s sunglasses.

Sieun gets a pistachio scoop, and Suho gets a butter pecan, which earns him a snort from Sieun.

"What? This is good."

Sieun grins, "your age is showing, hyung."

Suho bumps his shoulder into him playfully, earning a giggle from the smaller boy, as he pays for their ice creams and they walk out together. Sieun finds Suho's free hand while they walk by the water with his own, tangling their fingers together. Suho chuckles before squeezing his hand, as he pulls him a little closer.

They are still hand in hand as they head back to the car, after finishing their ice creams.

When they arrive at the party venue, Suho braces an arm behind Sieun's seat to reverse park. Sieun sits completely frozen, warmth in his cheeks from the sudden proximity, Suho’s cologne clouding his senses.

When he's done, he doesn't take his arm back yet. Instead he cradles Sieun's head for a second, "are you ready, little one?"

Sieun nods, "let's go, hyungah."

Suho gets out of the car, and opens Sieun's door for him, leaning his forearms and chin on it while he watches him step out.

Sieun latches on to Suho's arm once they're side by side. It makes Suho laugh, he puts his hand in his pocket, as Sieun hangs off his elbow.

The director of the gym has organized the party in his spacious backyard. Suho tells Sieun he does this every year, so it's very familiar to most people already. On their way to claim a seat, people greet Suho left and right—all while either winking at him or shooting Sieun a look too. They don't really stop for anyone though. Baku claps Sieun on the back and tells them to have fun as they pass him.

When they find two empty chairs side by side, Sieun sees his father standing around with Naeun next to him. She's scrolling on her phone, while he's speaking to a few other seniors. Before they sit down, his father makes eye contact with him, and his eyes grow double in size.

Suho hasn't noticed him yet, and sits down in one of the chairs.

"Sieun-ah, are you not sitting down?" He pats the chair next to him.

"Hyungah," Suho replies with a hmm?, "forgive me."

While holding his father's gaze, Sieun sits down sideways in Suho's lap, instead of the empty chair next to him. Suho startles a little, but immediately accommodates Sieun, as his legs close slightly to make it more comfortable, and braces his back with a steady hand. Sieun wraps both of his arms around his neck.

Suho follows his line of sight, and when he finds the target, he laughs under his breath.

"Careful, little one, Gyujin will have my head," he whispers into Sieun's ear.

Sieun shrugs, then leans in to whisper back, "I told you I'd protect you, hyung."

Suho starts drawing circles absentmindedly with his hand on Sieun's lower back, sending tingles up his spine. His other hand is placed over his knees protectively, keeping him close.

Suho leans in again, "I think he really hates it when we're whispering like this. Sweetheart, tell me about yourself." He smiles fondly, when he leans back to look him in the eyes.

Sieun giggles—makes a show of it too, lightly slapping Suho on his chest.

Suho traces a thumb under one of his eyes, "go on."

Sieun relishes in the way his father's fist tightens around the plastic cup he's holding, squeezing it completely.

He puts one of his hands on Suho's shoulder while the other is curled around the back of his neck as he leans in again, "well, I'm a physical therapy senior in SNU. I skipped a few grades in high school, because of my good grades."

"Wah, my smart baby!" Suho says a little above a whisper, genuinely impressed.

Sieun pinks a little at the compliment.

"Any hobbies? Or special memories?"

"Not really, I'm always studying, so I don't have time for hobbies."

Suho looks a little sad at that, "I'll help you find one then."

"A hobby?" Sieun leans back to look at Suho's face properly. I would love to spend more time with him, "that would be great, hyung."

"Anything else? I feel like you got chased around a lot in high school, with how pretty you are." Suho looks at him fondly.

Sieun pouts, "not really, I used to get bullied a lot."

Suho frowns, "oh, I'm sorry to hear that, was it bad? Anyone still bothering you?"

Sieun smiles at the sudden protectiveness in his voice, hyung, I've known you for three days. "It's fine, I dealt with them." His smile turns stiff.

Suho quirks a brow at this, "what do you mean?"

"Oh, just that after they tried to drug me, I broke one of the bullies' nose and stabbed another with a pen," he shrugs, "they left me alone after that."

"Drug you?! Sieun-ah, you went easy on them."

Sieun shoots his father a sad look, his father who's still glaring holes in them, "not according to him, he told me I should've let it go."

Suho puts a hand on his cheek, bringing his eyes back to him, "he was wrong. I'm glad you dealt with it, but I'm still sorry you even had to."

Sieun, overwhelmed with the sudden fondness he feels for this older man, wraps his arms around him and tucks his face into his neck, "thank you, hyung, you're the first to say that to me."

Now chest to chest, Suho runs a soothing hand down his back, as he brings him closer.

"Wanna get out of here? Get some ramen?" He whispers, making Sieun shoot backwards with an angry blush on his face.

"Huh?"

Suho laughs, flicks his nose with his finger, "I don't know what you are thinking, but I'm a little hungry and not craving any of this—let's go eat somewhere else?"

Sieun looks away, embarrassed, "sure, hyung, let's go get some ramen."

Instead of getting up himself, Suho lifts Sieun with him as he stands, and gently places him on the ground. Sieun still has his arms wrapped around him when he does this.

Suho and Sieun say their goodbyes as they walk past people—many of whom express some sadness at their departure, some winking again—and go back to the car.

They sit in a little shop, both with a big bowl of ramen in front of them. Sieun stares at it, while Suho digs in with gusto.

"Sieun-ah, are you not eating?"

"Hyung…"

Suho gives him a look, his cheeks rounded with food, "hmm?"

"When you said ramen, you really meant ramen." He's shooting daggers at the noodles.

Suho tilts his head, "what else would I mean?"

Sieun sighs, "nevermind. Thank you for the meal."

Suho smiles at him cutely, contrasting his otherwise tough image, and feeds him one of the meat slices from his own bowl.

They enjoy their meal quietly.

When they're almost done, does Sieun break the silence.

"Hyung, can you tell me about yourself?"

Suho puts down his chopsticks, as he wipes his mouth with his napkin, "well, most of my life has been quite public. Anything in particular you'd like to know?"

Sieun shrugs, "I know about your accomplishments and stuff," he moves his chopsticks in the leftover broth mindlessly, "what made you start MMA?"

"Oh," a rueful smile takes over Suho's face, "well, when I was a child, my dad used to hit my halmeoni, and there was nothing I could do about it."

Sieun's eyes widen at this, his hand crossing the table, finding Suho's.

"Don't worry, little one, we're okay now. I started MMA to become stronger, to protect halmeoni." He shrugs, squeezing Sieun's hand back, "I got lucky after that."

"I'm sorry to hear that, hyung." Sieun's frown meets Suho's kind eyes.

"I got to protect my halmeoni, my father's rotting in prison. And my life's pretty good now." He brings his hand up, and pushes a finger between Sieun's eyebrows, "so stop frowning, pretty."

"That reminds me," Suho nods in Sieun's general direction, "did Gyujin try to contact you after we left?"

Sieun shakes his head, "I haven't checked my phone all day, actually."

He pulls it out of his pocket.

아버지 📞 (7)

아버지 : Sieun-ah, where are you?

아버지 : appa is worried

아버지 📞 (12)

아버지 : did you go home with Suho?!

아버지 : Yeon Sieun come home this instant!

아버지 : Sieun-ah, you know how old he is right?

아버지 📞 (8)

Sieun snorts, and turns his phone to show Suho. Suho matches his smile.

"Sieun-ah, what are you doing tomorrow?" He asks with a glint in his eyes.

Sieun slowly lowers his phone, "I've got my internship, but nothing else besides that. Maybe study in the evening—why?"

"Well," his canines shine in the low light of the ramen shop, "why don't we drive Gyujin completely crazy, and I'll take you to stay over at mine? I'll take you to work in the morning."

Sieun chokes on his spit, "… Hyung?"

Suho's eyes widen and he frantically shakes his hands in front of him, "wait! No, I've got a big place, and a guest room! It's just to really bring it home with your dad. I'm keeping my hands to myself, little one, don't worry."

Sieun lowers his gaze again, "what if I don't want you to keep your hands to yourself…" he mutters to himself, pouty.

"What was that?" Suho leans over a little.

Sieun takes a sharp breath, "nothing! Sounds good. Let's do it." He smiles small.

Suho asks for the check, and pays it with his black card, before holding out his hand and taking Sieun back to his Audi.

They drive into the underground parking lot of a tall expensive looking apartment building. Suho shuts the ignition, and gets out to open Sieun's door for him.

He guides him to the elevator and presses the top floor. Which is whatever.

Suho unlocks the door, and opens it wide for Sieun to enter first.

"Make yourself at home, Sieun-ah."

The place is nice. He's got low lights all around illuminating the place, instead of a big main light. The furniture is sleek, mostly black in color, very bachelor-esque if you had to ask Sieun.

"Hyung is your favorite color black?"

Suho chuckles, "no, actually, it's red."

"Oh, 'cause you always wear black, your car's black," he gestures around himself, "black."

Suho smiles fondly, "well, I just think black suits me. And I've got more than one car, little one. Also, black furniture is less maintenance."

Sieun walks around, looking at random objects Suho has laying around, "I see."

There's a shelf with trophies. A pair of worn out gloves, with a picture frame next to it.

This must be his halmeoni.

He feels Suho join him from behind, he puts a hand on Sieun's shoulder. "That's me and my halmeoni, after my first official win when I was 16."

"She looks kind, and you've barely aged, hyung!"

"She is kind, and very old, she barely leaves the village these days. I can take you one day, if you'd like?"

Sieun brings his wide eyes over to Suho, "I would love that, hyung!"

Suho bumps his hip with Sieun's, "and what do you mean barely aged, I'm not that old."

Sieun rolls his eyes, "sure."

Suho ruffles his hair, before moving to the spacious open kitchen behind them, "do you want anything to drink, Sieun-ah?"

"Just water would be nice." He settles on the couch.

He feels his phone buzz again. Without care, he fishes it out of his pocket and turns it off.

Suho hands him his water and sits down next to him. He exhales loudly, as he stretches his limbs, taking up double the space Sieun takes.

"Tired?" He asks after taking a sip.

"I'm alright, are you tired, little one?"

"A little, it's been a long day."

Suho gets up again, "come on, I'll show you to your room."

Sieun puts down his glass and follows him down the hall.

He's met with a nice, but simple room. There's a closet, a twin bed, a soft rug. Nothing crazy.

Suho points at another door in the room, "you've got your own bathroom, it's stocked, just grab whatever you need. I'll bring you a change of clothes." He taps the doorframe before turning around and going to his own room.

Sieun sits down on the soft mattress, it's nice. He can't help the pout on his face though. I wanna sleep in his bed…

Suho walks back into his room, with a pair of pajamas in his hands, "you have a uniform at work right? If not, I can also give you something to wear tomorrow."

Sieun nods, while gratefully taking the clothes from him, "I do have a uniform at work, I'll need something to wear until then though." He smiles sheepishly, he pulls his shirt a little, "I stole this from my father."

Suho just nods easily, "okay, just pick something in the morning then." Before he leaves, he says, "well, then goodnight Sieun-ah, if you need anything, I'm right next door."

Sieun nods, "thank you, hyung. Good night."

Suho quietly closes the door behind him as he retires to his own room. Leaving Sieun on his own.

He walks to the window and gazes outside. The view of the city is nice, but as he's watching suddenly there's soft pitter-patter of rain drops against the window.

I hope it doesn't get worse.

He takes a quick shower, using the expensive products in the cubicle. Brushes his teeth and wears the soft pajamas Suho gave him. They're big on him, the sleeves go over his hands, the neckline exposes more than just his neck, and the pants pool around his heels. He doesn't mind it though, they smell like sandalwood—like Suho.

It's still a little early, but he slides into the big bed, and tries to fall asleep anyway.

He wakes up startled.

The weather outside is angry. There's thunder and lightning occasionally lighting up his room.

Sieun feels his heart leap out of his chest, his eyes suddenly moist, his throat dry.

Oh no.

He feels around, but can't find his pillow.

Right. I'm in Suho's place.

Normally, when weather like this hits, Sieun has a weighted pillow he puts on his chest. It doesn't always work, but it helps him calm down. Right now, there's no such pillow.

Sieun is on his own.

He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down.

But another loud thunder strike shakes him to his core, he stumbles out of the room and stands frozen in front of Suho's door.

This is crazy. I should go back, it's just lightning. Calm down, Yeon Sieun.

When he looks back into his room, another lightning strike suddenly scares him too much to go back.

He takes a deep breath, and opens the door slightly.

"Hyungah…" he whispers into the room.

It's dark, but there's enough light spilling in to see Suho lifting his head from his pillow, one eye squinted as he's trying to focus.

"Sieun-ah? Everything alright?"

Sieun swallows, "I'm sorry… I—" he sniffles, his tears escaping him, "I'm—" he can't get the words out. Stupid Sieun, what kind of adult is scared of a little thunder.

"Come here," Suho lifts his blanket.

Sieun quickly shuffles inside, getting under the covers with Suho. Curling into his chest while his entire body still shakes.

He flinches hard when there's another loud thunder strike, but Suho just pulls him closer.

He runs a soothing hand down his back, until his shaking turns into vague trembling, turns into calm breathing.

Just like that he falls asleep again.

When he wakes up, he feels two strong arms hold him in place tightly. He blinks his eyes and is met with skin. Last night when he crawled into Suho's bed, he didn't even realize he wasn't wearing a shirt, too scared to focus on anything else.

Right now though, that's all he can focus on.

An alarm goes off to the side somewhere.

A blush spreads all over his face, when he hears a groan above his head.

A smack of lips, and then a loosening of arms, "oh, good morning, Sieun-ah. Feel better?"

Sieun blinks, "y— yeah… I'm sorry hyung."

Suho shakes his head, as he detaches himself from Sieun, and slowly sits up, "no need to be sorry. Was it the thunder or did you have a nightmare?"

Sieun already misses the warmth, "the thunder."

He feels a heavy hand on his head, before Suho gets up and walks towards his bathroom. He's only wearing shorts. Sieun chokes on his spit.

Yeah, he had googled him after their first meeting. And yeah, he had saved some of his photos. But none of them did the real thing justice. His broad back, chiseled muscles, biceps probably double the size of his own, tan skin. Sieun's mouth is dry.

Get it together.

Suho walks out a few minutes later—dressed this time—while rubbing a towel over his hair, "anything in particular you're craving for breakfast?"

Sieun sits up, and shakes his head, "I usually only drink a cup of coffee."

Suho kisses his teeth in a disapproving tsk, "can't have that Sieun-ah, that's not healthy. How do you drink your coffee?"

"Just black."

"Alright, go wash up and come have breakfast with me when you're ready."

When he's about to leave, Sieun stops him, "hyung," Suho turns his head, "what do I wear?"

Suho's mouth makes an 'o' shape, "right," he gestures a hand towards his walk-in closet, "grab whatever you like."

So Sieun does. He grabs a maroon colored fleece hoodie he finds, it's warm and smells just like Suho. Puts his own black Levi's on again, and also grabs a pair of socks from Suho's drawer.

When he walks out, he's greeted by Suho's broad back standing over the stove frying some deliciously smelling eggs. He can see some tomatoes and greens tossed in there, and Sieun's stomach rumbles at the sight.

"Oh," Suho turns around when Sieun settles on a bar stool by the kitchen island, "nice pick, it suits you."

"Thank you, hyung, also for last night."

Suho slides him his coffee, before turning back to his eggs, "it was no problem, promise. Do you want to talk about it?"

Sieun sighs deeply, "not really."

Suho nods a little to himself, "alright, that's fine too. After breakfast we'll just go straight to the gym, unless you need to make a stop somewhere?" He turns his head to look at Sieun's reaction.

"No, that's fine, hyung."

Suho nods again, and starts plating the eggs, also grabs some toast from the toaster, and slides Sieun his plate too. He settles across from him with his own plate and coffee.

They enjoy a nice breakfast before cleaning up, and head out together again.

They walk into the gym together, earning a few looks from their colleagues.

They're about to part ways when Gyujin walks out of one of the rooms, meeting them midway.

"Oh, adeul. And Suho-nim."

"Gyujin-ssi, good morning." Suho turns to Sieun, gives his head a soft pat with his heavy hand, "I'll see you for lunch later, little one." And with a wink, he leaves to his own destination.

"Yeon Sieun, why have you been dodging my calls?"

Sieun doesn't meet his eyes, and just continues walking with his father following him, "my phone died."

"Suho didn't have a charger for you to use?"

Sieun shrugs, "I didn't ask him."

Gyujin grabs his shoulder harshly, which makes Sieun's gaze drop to the hand, then raise to meet his father's eyes with a glare, "Sieun-ah, do you know how worried I was?"

Sieun shrugs the hand off, "since when have you cared about my well-being, abeoji?"

"W-what?"

Sieun clenches his jaw, "nevermind. I'm fine, don't worry." He bows his head and leaves.

Sieun's sitting with Baku when there's a knock on the door.

Baku gets up with a little hop, and opens the door to find Suho.

"Oh! Ahn! Come in!"

“Hey, Park!,” they dap each other up, as he walks into the room, "I'm actually here to take Sieun with me for lunch, if that's cool with you?"

Baku puts a hand on Sieun's back, and pushes him in Suho's direction gently, "of course! He eats like a bird, please make sure he gets a full meal in him!"

When Sieun looks at him, Baku winks at him and then nods his head in Suho's direction encouragingly.

There's a cafeteria at the top floor of the gym, the food spread is buffet style, and quite good. Most of the staff usually eat their lunches here, joined by clients more often than not.

Today Sieun eats his lunch with Suho.

When they enter the cafeteria, Suho tells Sieun to sit down with a gentle hand on his lower back.

After a few minutes he joins him with two trays of food. Suho's is filled to the point of spilling over, while Sieun's is just a normal, respectable amount of rice and banchan.

Suho takes a big bite while Sieun just stares at him for a moment. In awe of his appetite.

"Sieun-ah, why are you not eating again?" Suho frowns a little, his cheeks filled like a hamster's.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to—" he shakes his head, "enjoy your meal, hyung." He also starts eating.

While they eat, Suho sneaks a few slices of meat from his own tray on Sieun's rice every now and then.

It's nice.

"Sieun." Gyujin stops by their table, right when Suho is feeding Sieun, his chopsticks still in Sieun's mouth.

"Abeoji." Sieun says after swallowing, he turns back to Suho's kind gaze.

"Gyujin-ssi, also having lunch?" Suho's posture is relaxed as he asks him this.

"Sieun-ah," he tries again, "would you like to have the rest of your lunch with me?"

Sieun blinks at Suho, before meeting his father's gaze, "we're actually almost done here."

Suho smiles, a performative apology in his expression, "sorry, if we had known you'd eat your lunch here, we could have joined you!"

Gyujin grinds his teeth, "I was actually just talking to my son."

Sieun shakes his head, "I'm having lunch with hyung either way."

"Yeon Sieun!" His father reprimands him.

Sieun's stoic expression turns into a glare, "abeoji!" He matches his tone.

"Is it so bad for appa to want to spend some time with his son at work?"

Sieun's knuckles turn white from how hard he's clenching his fist, "with all due respect, abeoji, I don't remember the last time you've wanted to spend time with me ever. So forgive me for wanting to be with someone who actually enjoys my company." He feels Suho reach out and put a hand over his fist, easing the tension.

Gyujin's mouth hangs open, "Sieun-ah…"

"Well," Suho stands up, stacking his and Sieun's trays, "I think you overstayed your welcome, Gyujin-ssi. But we will go, enjoy your lunch." He holds out a hand to Sieun, who takes it gratefully, and they leave the cafeteria together like that.

There's still some time left of their break—or rather Sieun's break, Suho is on his own schedule—so Suho guides him to the rooftop.

"Wanna talk about what happened there?"

Sieun slumps with both of his forearms on the parapet, leaning his chin on them, "not really…"

Suho leans his back against it, his arms crossed, softly gazing down on Sieun, "alright, we don't have to."

Sieun turns his head, now sideways on his forearms, his eyes on the older man, "Suho hyung, why are you so patient with me?"

Suho puts a hand on Sieun's head, caressing his hair, "there's no pressure here, you'll tell me when you want to—but it's okay if you don't."

"I don't want to talk about it, because—" he sighs, "it's embarrassing," he mutters.

Suho frowns, "what do you mean?" His hand doesn't leave Sieun's strawberry hair.

Sieun looks away again, "you saw all these embarrassing sides of me… I never let people get close enough to get to know me—let alone see all…" he waves a hand in the air, "this."

"Sieun-ah," Sieun looks at him again, "I haven't seen anything embarrassing, though? It's not your fault your father's like that."

Sieun pouts, "I'm not just talking about my dad…"

"Are you talking about last night?"

Sieun nods, his face flushing from embarrassment.

"Sieun-ah," Suho's gaze is so kind, it makes Sieun tear up, "we all have our things, yours happens to be thunder. That's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"It wasn't just the thunder," Sieun sighs again, "or I guess it was. I've always been alone, my parents were young when they had me. I was a mistake, and they always reminded me—or didn't, I guess. Since they were never there to remind me.” He runs a hand down his face, “as a child, during bad weather I was forced to go through it alone, and being in the strange room on my own, it just brought back those memories."

Suho looks at him with so much understanding in his eyes, "I'm sorry you had to go through that, little one. I'm glad you came to me though, thank you for trusting me."

"Thank you for being so patient with me, hyung." They smile warmly at each other.

"Your dad sucks, by the way."

"I know." A chuckle.

"What are you doing after work?" Suho asks him this as Sieun feels his fingers scratch at his scalp mindlessly, but he doesn't tell him to stop, it feels really nice.

"Nothing. Do you want to hang out?"

"I'll take you somewhere, wait for me downstairs later!"

Sieun checks his watch, "alright. It's time to go back though, Baku hyung's probably waiting for me."

After he finishes the rest of his work day, he bids Baku goodbye, changes back into Suho's hoodie, and heads downstairs.

Unlucky for him, when he presses the elevator, Gyujin is already inside.

"Oh, Sieun-ah, heading home?"

"No." Sieun bows his head, but doesn't spare him a glance.

"No?" Gyujin gives him a look, but Sieun still refuses to give him his eyes.

"No, I'm not heading home. Anything else?" Sieun looks his way for a second.

"I was hoping we could have dinner together." Gyujin's face is a mix of sheepish and hopeful.

"I already have plans." The elevator doors open, "if that's all." He bows his head as goodbye and walks out, to where Suho is already waiting by his black Audi.

Knowing his father is still there watching, he goes up to Suho and hugs him tightly standing on his tippy toes, tucking his face into his neck.

"You're wearing my hoodie again," he says with a smile.

"Yeah, it's comfortable."

"You can keep it, it looks better on you anyway."

Gyujin is still watching.

Suho opens the passenger side of the car and buckles Sieun in before going back to the driver's side, and driving off.

Leaving Gyujin where he stands.

Suho drives them to a secluded area near the Han river. After he parks, he opens the trunk and takes out a plastic bag, before offering Sieun his hand.

They walk together for a bit, until Suho guides them to an empty piece of grass, where he sits down crisscross. The sun is almost down, glittering over the river beautifully.

Sieun tentatively follows, and sits down next to him, their shoulders almost touching.

Suho opens the bag he was holding, and offers Sieun a can of beer, also taking one for himself.

He opens his can with a satisfying crack, and takes a long sip before letting out a satisfied ahhh sound from his throat.

"Hyung aren't you driving?"

Suho turns his can towards him, showing a big 0.0%, "don't worry, little one, hyung's fully sober."

Sieun frowns a little at his phrasing, before he turns his own can, the blue label showing a 4.5%.

Suho notices his lingering look, "thought you could use it, you don't have to drink it, there's other stuff in here too. Red Bull, Banana milk, and water. I also have a bottle of soju, but I didn't think you'd want that when I'm not joining you."

"Oh, thank you hyung. This is fine." He gives him a small smile.

They share a comfortable silence for a few minutes, just feeling each other's warmth while looking at the water.

"Hyung."

"Hmm?"

"You know how you said my thing was thunder?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have a thing like that?"

Suho chuckles, "yeah, I do actually," he looks at Sieun, "I'm deathly afraid of bugs."

Sieun's eyes widen, "bugs? Like spiders and stuff?"

Suho nods, "yeah, anything that crawls around gives me the shivers."

Sieun lets out a laugh, "okay, I can deal with that. I'll protect you from bugs, hyung."

Suho pets his head once, "thank you, little one, I appreciate it."

Suho looks at him a moment longer, "I've been wondering, what's the reason you picked physical therapy?"

Sieun sighs, looking down at his can, "when I was little, I used to be a very weak child. Which was also one of the reasons my parents fought so much. They thought I was too difficult…"

"I'm sorry," Suho's eyebrows meet in a frown.

Sieun shakes his head, "I'm alright now. I picked physical therapy to understand my body better, and help others while I'm at it."

"Wahh I'm proud of you, that's so amazing!" Suho is beaming, genuinely impressed.

Sieun pinks a little at this, "it's whatever…"

"Do you still get sick?" Suho asks gently.

Sieun shakes his head, "nothing like when I was a child, I'd faint a lot and get hurt because of that. That's also why I'm so scared of thunder storms, I tried finding my parents once but I fainted in the hallway and my parents only found me in the morning when they got home. I had broken my wrist that night. I think the fear mostly manifested then."

"Wait," Suho takes a deep breath, "your parents left you alone all night?"

Sieun nodded, "yeah, they did that all the time. They considered the time that I was asleep as their time free from me, and would go out a lot. When I said I was alone as a child, I meant it literally. They were almost never around."

He takes a sip from his beer.

"That's why it makes me so angry when my dad brings someone home who's younger than me, he doesn't understand how messed up it is because he doesn't see me as his son. Not really." He lets out a mirthless laugh, "not that I really see him as a father either, maybe closer to a shitty absent hyung?"

"Aish… what do we do about him, Sieun-ah?" Suho is flexing his jaw, an angry frown on his face.

Sieun smiles, "you're already helping me get back at him, hyung."

That makes Suho release the tension in his jaw, "he's getting off very easy."

Sieun shrugs, "I don't know if he is, he's never acted as much as a father as he's acting these days because of you. I think he really hates the idea of us dating."

Suho smiles cheekily, bumping shoulders, "well, we haven't been dating though? We've only been really close."

Sieun's ears turn pink, before he blurts out, "we could, you know?"

Suho's smile drops slightly, his expression a little unsure, "could what?"

"Start dating…"

Suho fully turns to him, "you want to start dating me, to spite your dad?"

"No! I mean yes, it would help, but that's not why I'd start actually dating you!" Sieun can't look him in the eyes.

"Sieun-ah, do you know how old I am?" Suho looks concerned.

"I do know… I just—" he takes a breath, "even without my dad in the picture, I've really enjoyed spending time with you, hyung."

Suho's gaze softens, "I've enjoyed spending time with you too, Sieun-ah, but I don't think you should be dating anyone older than your father."

"Hyung, I'm an adult, and I really don't care about your age," Sieun says, a little more determined, "besides, if my dad had me at a normal age and I asked you this, you might've responded differently!" He argues.

"Still—" Suho rubs a hand over his face.

"Fine." Sieun looks away.

"Fine?"

"Instead, go on a few dates with me. If we don't work out—because of our age difference, or whatever else—we can drop it. And I'll just treat you as my sunbaenim at work?" Sieun meets his gaze again.

"Sieun-ah, I don't know—"

"Please?" Sieun's eyes are so wide, so hopeful.

Suho doesn't stand a chance.

"Let me think about it?" He settles on.

Sieun's face splits into a smile, "alright, that's not a no."

Sieun shuffles closer and lays his head on Suho's shoulder as he finishes his drink. Suho just sighs a laugh, but lets him lean on him, while they gaze at the Han river together.

"Should I drop you off at home?" Suho asks as they get back to the car.

"Yeah, I can't keep imposing on you, hyung," Sieun says, his lips pouty.

"You're not imposing, little one. Next time you come over, we can plan it better." Suho smiles at him.

"Next time, huh?" Sieun smiles back.

"If you want," Suho starts the ignition, "you're welcome to hide from your dad with me, Sieun-ah."

"Thank you, hyung." Sieun feels a warmth in his chest grow.

They share a comfortable silence for the rest of the drive.

When they make it to his building, Sieun expects Suho to just leave again. But instead, Suho gets out of the car, and follows him inside towards the elevator.

"Hyung?" His steps falter.

"I'm making sure you get home safe," he gives him a wink.

Sieun laughs, "you can do that from the car too though?"

Suho slings an arm around his shoulders, "yeah, but where's the fun in that?"

Sieun laughs again, shaking his head. But he doesn't shrug his arm off, so they make it to his door like that.

Sieun punches in the code, and opens the door. He can see his father from where he stands, already looking in their direction.

Sieun turns back around to Suho and comes close, clasps his hands behind his neck, "forgive me, hyung," he whispers against his ear.

Suho gives him a questioning look, but Sieun presses a quick peck to his lips instead of answering.

Suho breathes a laugh, "y-yah, Sieun-ah…" he whispers back.

Sieun smiles apologetically, "get home safe," he says, a little louder this time.

"I'll see you tomorrow, little one."

"See you tomorrow."

Suho walks backwards for a few steps, waving goodbye, which has Sieun giggling while he waves back.

He then turns around and closes the door behind him. Takes off his shoes and places them neatly lined up with the rest.

"I'm home," he says as he walks into the living room, not acknowledging what he knows his father just witnessed.

"Sieun-ah, we need to talk." His father says seriously, as he sits down at their dinner table.

Naeun is not here today, he notes. "Do we? I'm kind of tired actually."

"Sit down."

Sieun sighs, frowning for a second—debating if he should listen or not—eventually decides to sit down with him.

"I'm concerned about your relationship with Ahn Suho."

"How come? You said to get along. We're getting along." Sieun's voice is deadpan.

"Yeon Sieun! Do you know how old he is?" Gyujin raises his voice.

"I do, what does it matter?" Sieun keeps his calm.

"What does it—Adeul, your age difference is too big!"

"Abeoji, I recall it being the same as yours and Naeun's, or should I call her eomoni?"

"Can appa not show concern for his son?" He's raking his fingers through his hair, clearly frustrated. Good.

"It would be the first time you did, so no, I'd rather you go back to pretending I don't exist." Sieun crosses his arms.

"I never pretended you didn't exist!" Gyujin stands to his feet, "you never needed us before, so we just let you be!"

When Sieun doesn't say anything, he continues, "listen, it was just… easier. You never needed us, and we could just—" he sighs, not really thinking about the words coming out of his mouth, "we could just live our lives." While pretending you didn't exist, Sieun finishes in his head.

Sieun scoffs, his eyes welling up. Hopefully Suho didn't go too far. He stands up abruptly and walks to his room, grabs a bag and fills it with random clothes without really looking, also grabbing his weighted pillow just in case. All while his father still calls for him from his doorway.

He walks right past him, bag clutched over his shoulder, and walks straight out of the front door.

The tears finally escaping.

As he's making his way downstairs, he fumbles with his phone.

"Sieun-ah? Miss me already?" Suho's voice rings through the speaker, his tone light.

"H-hyung—" his voice cracks, "can you— can you come back?" He mutters through tears.

"I'm coming," his voice suddenly serious, "don't hang up, I'll be there in ten— no, five minutes."

Sieun just hums into the microphone, while taking shaky breaths.

Suho's car comes into view as Sieun's sitting on the cold concrete floor of the parking lot, his face tucked into his knees. After Suho stops the car, he runs out and gathers Sieun in his arms, "yah, are you okay?"

"Let's just go, p-please." Sieun blinks up at Suho, tears still gathering in his eyes.

Suho wipes his thumbs over his cheeks, as he nods. He takes his bag from him and buckles him into the passenger seat, before driving off again.

When they arrive at Suho's apartment, Sieun doesn't say anything and just walks straight to the guest bedroom. Slipping under the covers soundlessly, except for the soft hiccups he can't keep at bay.

Suho hesitates in the doorway for a moment, a frown drawing deep lines in his face as he looks at the small figure under the big blanket.

Sieun feels the bed dip, before a heavy hand makes its way to his head.

"Sieun-ah, are you okay?"

Sieun just nods slightly.

"Anything I can do for you?"

Sieun hesitates for a moment, before turning around and reaching over. He tugs at Suho's arm, until he's laying down next to him. He curls into his chest, clutching at his t-shirt while he cries softly. Suho just pulls him a little closer, his arms solid around him.

He doesn't know when he fell asleep, but once he opens his eyes, light is spilling into the room.

He's alone in bed this time. He gets up and pads out of his room to find Suho, who's standing over the stove again. This time only in his knee-length shorts, and a towel slung around his neck, stirring something.

"Hyung?" His voice is hoarse, probably from all the crying he did.

"Oh, Sieun-ah. I'm making some soup, go wash up."

Sieun hesitates, unable to leave again without saying something first, "I'm sorry."

Suho looks up startled at this, he lowers the heat and quickly makes his way over to him. He uses his fingers to fix his bedhead, "Sieun-ah, I don't know what happened last night, but you don't have to apologize."

Sieun nods, his eyes welling up again, "thank you for coming to get me."

"Of course, it's not a problem." He smiles kindly, "now go wash up, the soup will be done when you're back."

He quickly does as told and sits back down at the island. Suho puts a bowl of delicious smelling sujebi in front of him. "Hyung, did you make this just now?" He asks with wide eyes.

Suho laughs, "these are leftovers I made the other day, thought it would comfort you a little."

He takes a sip, "this is amazing!"

"I'm glad you like it, little one."

They eat quietly for a while, the only sounds being the ones of chopsticks and spoons.

Suho looks at Sieun, "do you want to talk about it?"

Sieun thinks for a moment, he wants to say no, not really again. Knows that Suho would drop it if he did, but he also wants to tell him.

So he does.

He tells him everything his father said last night.

Suho puts his spoon down harshly, "yah, he's lucky he's your father or I would've already—" he takes a breath, "I'm sorry, Sieun-ah, I can't believe he said that. Where does he find the audacity to blame you for being a shitty father?"

"Maybe it was my fault," Sieun says, his voice small, "I never asked for help when I was a kid, how would they know I needed them?"

"Sieun, no. It's not the kid's responsibility to make the parents act like—I don't know—parents!"

"I wasn't an easy child either, always sick, always fainting. I would get sick of me too…" Sieun puts the heels of his palms into his eyes, "it was my own fault, maybe if I wasn't born, maybe if I—" he chokes on the words.

Suho rounds the kitchen island, and gathers Sieun in his arms again, "no, Sieun-ah, stop it. It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry, I—" Sieun, having nothing to hold on to, digs his fingers into Suho's skin, "I don't know what to do, hyung…"

"We'll take it day by day, Sieun-ah, I'll be here with you." He separates Sieun from him, his sharp features softening at the sight of the crying boy in front of him. He brings his hand down and wipes away his tears, also wipes a thumb under his nose and cleans it on his shorts—Sieun grimaces at this.

"Now let's finish breakfast, and I'll take you to work." Suho rubs a soothing thumb under his red-rimmed eye.

"Sorry for the snot, hyung," Sieun says with a small, sheepish smile.

Suho laughs, "it's just snot, don't worry little one."

They finish their sujebi, get dressed for work, and head out.

Suho's holding Sieun's bag as they walk into the gym together.

"I'm alright hyung, I'll see you later," Sieun smiles weakly at Suho, as they get into the elevator together.

"It's fine, Gotak's not here yet, so I'll walk you to your door."

"Okay, thank you," he replies, the apples of his cheeks dusting pink.

The doors of the elevator open, right as Suho threads his fingers through Sieun's short bangs, fixing them again.

Outside of the doors however, Gyujin is pacing back and forth while biting his nails. He stops as soon as he sees the two appear.

Sieun, who freezes in his place, his shy smile immediately dropping. And Suho who grabs his wrist and pulls him behind himself.

"Suho-nim, could you please give me a moment alone with my son?" Gyujin is close to begging.

Suho glances at Sieun, who just shakes his head slightly at him, then looks back at Gyujin.

"Sorry, Gyujin-ah, seems like that's not happening right now. Have a nice day." He pulls Sieun along with himself towards Baku's PT room.

"Gyujin-ah?!" Gyujin calls out after them, exasperated.

Sieun twists his fingers into Suho's sleeve, his hands shaking ever so slightly, "thank you, hyung."

"Don't worry, little one, I won't let him come close to you, unless you want him to."

Sieun takes a few deep breaths to calm down, then loosens his grip on Suho.

"Alright, I'll go change. Thank you for walking me," he says softly.

Suho ruffles his hair, "it's my pleasure, I'm gonna go back down to wait for Gotak. Message me if you need anything."

Before he leaves, Sieun asks him, "hyung, are we having lunch again today?"

Suho looks at him for a second, "well, yes. Unless you don't want to?"

Sieun shakes his head, "I do! I want to."

Suho smiles, "alright, then we're having lunch again together. Gotak might join though, if you don't mind."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Alright, then I'll see you later, Sieun-ah!"

"See you later, hyung."

Sieun and Baku are cleaning up after a client, when there's a knock. Baku walks over to open it, and he finds Suho and Gotak.

"Lunch?" Suho asks simply.

Baku beams at the two, "yo, Ahn! Gogo!", then turns to Sieun, "let's go, Sieun-ah!"

Sieun finishes what he's doing, and walks over too. He bows a little to Gotak, "I believe it's our first time meeting, my name's Yeon Sieun."

Gotak bows back, "I'm Go Hyuntak, but everyone calls me Gotak. I've heard a lot about you, Sieun-ssi." His smile turns into a smirk.

Sieun's eyes widen, and Suho slaps the back of his neck, "yah!"

"Ok! Ok, sorry, hyung! Nothing bad Sieun-ssi, promise!"

"Don't listen to this dumbass, Sieun-ah! Let's go have lunch!"

Sieun nods, pretending his ears aren't burning, as he follows them to the cafeteria.

Suho once again tells him to sit down, but this time Sieun insists on tagging along to grab their food together, unwilling to be the only one to take a seat while the others get their meals.

Once they're all settled—Suho and Sieun next to each other, Gotak and Baku across from them—Sieun learns more about Gotak. Gotak is only a few years older than Sieun, but he's younger than both Baku and Suho. He's an MMA fighter, training under Suho, he's only recently gotten back into it after an almost career-ending injury. Gotak tells Sieun he insisted on having Suho as his coach, because Suho apparently also went through an almost career-ending injury, when he was seventeen. Sieun didn't know this, so he decides to ask Suho about it some other time.

Gyujin walks into the cafeteria, and Suho immediately sees him. Even before Sieun sees him. He angles his body, to cover Sieun as much as he can, making himself a wall between the two.

Gyujin notices, so he decides to walk past without saying anything. He does send Suho a glare, one that Suho matches ten-fold.

When Sieun realizes what's happened, he taps Suho's leg, who drops his gaze to him, and thanks him with a nod and a small smile.

He'll have to talk to his father again sooner or later. But he's glad he's got Suho to help him until he's ready.

Sieun slumps in his chair once the last client leaves.

"Sieun-ssi, what's gotten you sighing so heavily?" Baku asks him.

"I have to go home, and talk to my father," Sieun mumbles, more to himself than Baku.

"Gyujin-ssi, right? I used to always wonder what kind of son he had before I met you, considering he would always volunteer for the business trips and stuff." He pats his hand on Sieun's back, sympathetically.

Volunteer, huh? he thinks bitterly, "Well, what do you think, now that you've met me?" Sieun asks curiously.

"Nothing like what I expected. I thought you'd be either extremely difficult, or snobbish. But you're a delight, Sieun-ah! I don't get why your dad's always at work, when he could be hanging out with a cool son like you!"

"Thank you, hyung. I've been asking that myself for years." Sieun smiles small, sad.

"I'm sorry, Sieun-ah," he puts an arm around his shoulders, "for what it's worth, I would've loved to have a son like you!"

Sieun smiles a little wetly at Baku, "thank you, hyung, I appreciate it."

"Good luck with your dad, if he says anything to upset you, let hyung know! I'll deal with him!" He flexes his bicep.

Before he can answer, there's a knock on the door.

Suho peeks inside, "Sieun-ah, you done for the day?"

Sieun nods, then turns to Baku, "thanks again, hyung. I'll see you Thursday."

Baku waves, "see you Thursday!"

Sieun waves back, before following Suho out.

"Hyung, I have to go home today." Sieun keeps his gaze on the floor.

"Are you sure?" He looks at him worriedly, "you can hang out with me if you don't want to see your dad."

Sieun nods, "I'm sure. I'd rather get this over with as soon as possible."

"Alright, I'll take you."

"I am home." Sieun walks into the living room. The lights are off, and the only sounds are the echoes of his own footsteps.

Sieun sighs, what did I expect?

Of course his father wouldn't be home, he'd mostly just been home when Naeun was also here. Besides that, Sieun’s had the apartment for himself.

Sieun just goes back to his bedroom to study.

He hears the front door beep hours later. He glances at the digital clock on his desk, eleven-thirty.

Despite just wanting to ignore it, and go to sleep. Pretend everything is as it always was, he can't. He's done. He wants to get this over with, so he gets up and walks over to the living room, where his father is pouring himself a glass of water.

"Abeoji."

"Oh, Sieun-ah! I thought you'd be asleep."

"So that's why you came home late today?" Sieun raises an eyebrow.

"Ah, yes. Well, work, you know how it is." He looks back at his cup.

Volunteered work, apparently. "Where's Naeun? Or, eomoni, I guess."

Gyujin laughs, "no, none of that. Naeun and I… we decided to go our separate ways, we didn't really click."

Oh.

"So that's why you came home late." Sieun sighs, he goes over to the couch to sit down.

Gyujin takes a sip of his water, before looking at Sieun, "what do you mean?"

Sieun folds his hands over his lap, squeezing his fingers to keep his calm, "since Naeun's not around anymore, there's no reason to come home early."

"Oh," Gyujin sits on the other end of the couch, "I guess?"

Sieun rubs a hand down his face, "okay."

Gyujin frowns, "okay? I'm sorry, Sieun-ah, I don't follow?"

"You came home early only because you had Naeun, there's no other reason for you to be home early," Sieun says again, his tone flat.

"Wait, that's not—" Gyujin finally catches on.

But it's too late.

Sieun lets out a wry laugh, "here I thought we could talk about it. About us. But I see now, there's no point."

Gyujin straightens his spine, "no, Sieun-ah, let's talk!"

Sieun fixes his gaze on his father, "alright, let's talk. Why was it so easy for you to show up for Naeun, to love Naeun…"

"Well, love is a big word—"

"Fine!" His voice is raised, "like Naeun," he corrects, "when you can't even like your own son?"

Gyujin's eyes widen, "wait, Sieun-ah—"

"No!" Sieun's eyes sting, "I've had enough! You don't have to pretend to like me, but stop pretending you care! Stop pretending to be a father! I don't need you anymore, I needed you back then! Back when I was sick and alone, back when I broke my wrist and wept in the hallway when I was seven years old! Back—" his throat catches, he takes a deep breath, "back when I was a child, who just wanted his parents. It's too late now."

Gyujin tries to shuffle closer, but Sieun gets up, turning his back to his father for a second to calm down.

Gyujin's voice shakes, "Sieun-ah, that's not—"

Sieun whirls around, "no. You don't get to show me off to your younger girlfriend now, you don't get to act like you care just because you're," he gestures his hands in the air, "jealous.”

"I'm not jealous!" Gyujin bursts out, also standing up now.

"Of course that's what you focus on, after everything I just said!" Sieun points a finger at him, "you are incorrigible, abeoji, and I'm sick of it!" His voice is raised. He doesn't care.

Gyujin sighs, running a hand through his hair, "Sieun-ah! You are my son! Of course I care about you!"

"Yeah? How old am I?" He crosses his arms.

Gyujin hesitates.

Sieun scoffs, "alright. We're done here."

"Wait!"

Sieun doesn't wait. He turns around and goes to his room, closing the door quietly.

His phone vibrates in his pocket.

-

수호형

Are you okay?

I'm fine hyung.

I'll see you Thursday.

Wait

Not tomorrow?

I'm going to uni tomorrow

Oh

Okay

Goodnight sieun-ah

💤🌙

Goodnight hyung.

-

He turns his phone off, and puts it to the side.

He's sitting at his desk, and decides to rewrite his report on last week's work.

Anything to keep his mind from pausing.

The sun slowly rises through his window again, the phone on the side vibrates aggressively.

Sieun rubs his eyes, as he turns his phone

6am alarm.

He gets up and grabs some clothes without really looking.

He takes a shower, and packs his bag. Doesn't stop at the living room, where his father is having breakfast, and walks straight out of the front door after putting on his shoes.

He heads to the bus stop that will eventually take him to his university.

Once he's done with his biweekly appointment with his professor about his internship, he heads out of the building, ready to go to the library to get some studying done with his classmate.

But once he's outside, his steps stutter. The students around him also staring in the same direction, whispering to each other.

Ahn Suho?

"Oh! Sieun-ah!"

"Hyung?" He walks over, eyes wide, "what are you doing here?"

"To see you of course!" He smiles widely at him, his teeth shining.

Sieun winces, and grabs his wrist, dragging him to a quieter area.

"Hyung, you can't just show up at my uni!" He hisses.

Suho looks confused, and a little hurt, "why not?" He pouts.

"You're," he gestures his hand in his direction, "you! People are gonna talk!"

"I haven't been me in a very long time, Sieun-ah, don't worry!" He smiles again, endeared at the worry.

Sieun drags his fingers through his hair, pushing his strawberry bangs back, "okay, fine. But I already promised my classmate to study together, so I can't hang out with you."

"That's okay," Suho's smile grows smaller, "like I said, I just wanted to see you."

Sieun searches his face, "why?"

Suho shrugs, "I was worried."

Sieun realizes at this moment that he's taking out all his frustrations from last night, including his sleeplessness, onto Suho. That's not fair.

He sighs, "I'm sorry," he holds his hand gently, "thank you for coming, I'll be okay."

Suho shakes his head, "you have nothing to be sorry for, Sieun-ah. But that sounds like it didn't go well yesterday, do you want to talk about it?"

Sieun shakes his head, "no, it… it was a lot. I need time, I think." He squeezes his hand, "I'm gonna go study. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Suho frowns for a moment, "what about later?"

"Huh?"

"Tell me when you're done, I'll pick you up. We can hang out after?"

Sieun breathes a little laugh, "Are you sure?"

He frowns again, "yeah? Why wouldn't I be?"

"You were the one that told me you were too old for me?" Sieun's still smiling.

Suho's ears become pink, "well," he rubs the back of his neck, "I just said we should hang out, I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend or anything…"

Sieun nods, "yeah, okay. I'll message you."

His phone buzzes.

-

서준태

Sieun-ah

are you still coming

?(⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠)

Sorry, Jun-ah, I'm on my way.

-

He shows him his screen, "gotta go, hyung, thank you again."

Suho ruffles his hair, "alright, I'll see you later!"

"See you!"

Sieun turns his phone back on, while bidding Juntae goodbye.

Turning his phone off during a study session is a habit he's had since high school—though back then he never had anyone to distract him from his studies, he still had the quiet ineradicable hope that he'd have a missed call, or a message, anything, from someone who missed him in the hours he had his phone off. It never came though, his phone was always quiet.

Today, ironically, the first thing that pops up is a message from his mother.

Quiet dread fills him.

-

어머니

📍location

The restaurant for dinner

I'll see you there

-
Right. His monthly mother-son date. He completely forgot.

He switches tabs, and goes to Suho's contact. It only rings once.

"Done studying?" His voice cheerful through the speaker.

"Yeah, but hyung," he sighs, "I'm sorry, I completely forgot I have dinner plans."

"Oh? You got a date?" His voice falls flat.

"It's with my mother. So I can't hang out with you, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I'm already on my way, I'll take you. Wait for me."

Before he can reject his offer, the call is cut.

Sieun sighs again, he really doesn't want to have this dinner. He would much rather just hang out with Suho, or continue studying.

His father is neglectful, yes. He's also extremely audacious, and a little ignorant. But his mother. She's entitled on top of it all. He hates his monthly dinners with her for multiple reasons, the main one being her lectures about his future. She's already disappointed that he picked physical therapy, said it wouldn't make him a real doctor.

He is so, so tired.

He'll just force the food she orders for him at some expensive restaurant down his throat, while her lectures and scoldings go in one ear, and out the other. Dissociate for an hour, and leave.

He can do this.

He can't do this.

Suho dropped him off at the restaurant, after letting out a low whistle when he read the name of the place. Apparently very expensive.

He's sat at the table she had reserved in her name.

So why is she not alone.

"Sieun-ah, eomma is meeting him with good feelings. He's a few years older than you so you have to show him respect, okay!"

The boy who sits across from him at their round table grins with his gums, "noona~ it's okay, Seongje hyung is fine!"

Sieun feels a pressure behind his right eye. He lifts his middle and index finger and presses it against his browbone.

He looks down at his plate with seafood, which he's allergic to, "I can't do this," he whispers, more to himself than to his mother. Then, louder, "I have to go."

"Wait, Sieun-ah, you haven't eaten yet—"

Sieun storms off.

Once he's in front of the restaurant, he fumbles with his phone.

"Everything okay?" Is the first thing he hears through the phone.

"Hyung, I'm so sorry to do this again, but can you please come back?" His voice is small.

"Sieun-ah!" He hears his mother approach.

"I'm coming, I'll be there soon," Suho reassures him.

"Yeon Sieun, have I not taught you better than to walk out in the middle of dinner?!" His mother scolds.

"No, you have not!" Sieun explodes, earning a few stares from passersby on the sidewalk, "how could you, when you were never there?!"

"Sieun-ah…" his mother flinches back at his voice.

Before she can get another word out, he feels a hand hold his own.

"Sieun-ah, everything alright?" Suho's eyes search his face, his eyebrows set in a deep frown. His breathing is a little heavy, as if he ran to get to him.

Sieun shakes his head, "let's just go."

"Excuse me!" His mother, Hyunjoo, intervenes, "and who might this be?"

Sieun gives her a sharp glare, "my boyfriend— or how did you say it, eomoni? I'm meeting him with good feelings, he's a little older than you though, so you have to show him respect," he parrots her.

Suho's eyes widen, but he doesn't correct him. Only lets Sieun pull him back to his car.

Once they're inside, Suho looks at him, instead of starting the car.

"What just happened?"

"My mother just happened," he replies flatly.

"Why did you tell her I'm your boyfriend, Sieun-ah?" He's still frowning.

"I didn't really think, I'm sorry," he doesn't meet his gaze, his face leaning against the window.

"It's okay, just… be more careful next time—"

"I said I was sorry, can you drop it?" He hisses.

"Sieun-ah…" Suho tries.

"I know, I'm sorry!" He whips his head around, his eyes close to tears, "you don't want to be my boyfriend! I'm unlovable and difficult—"

"No! That's not—" Suho grabs his wrist, but Sieun pulls away harshly.

"Then why?!" His voice breaks, "why is it so easy for them to love someone, someone like me, but not me. Why is it so easy for them to just—" he chokes on the words, "leave me?"

Suho inhales sharply, and gets out of the car. He opens Sieun's side and pulls him into a tight hug.

"Sieun-ah, listen to me," he holds him tighter, "you are not unlovable. You are not difficult! Your parents are wrong! I don't know what your mother did or said, but she's wrong. You're so easy to love."

"Hyung," his voice is barely a whisper.

"Yes, Sieun-ah?" Suho replies steadily.

"Can you take me home?" He sniffles.

"Of course." Suho doesn't need to ask him which home, he knows he means Suho's.

He buckles him back into the passenger seat, before rounding the car and taking Sieun home.

Sieun had left his bag here last time, so when they walk inside, he shuffles over to it and grabs his weighted pillow.

He tucks himself under the covers while hugging it close. It's still early evening, but he's already falling asleep. Everything finally catching up to him.

Suho lingers in the doorway, but when he hears his soft breaths, he walks around his bed and closes the blinds, tucks his blanket a little higher, and leaves the room, keeping the door slightly ajar.

Sieun stirs a few hours later. Blinking confusedly at his surroundings, before remembering he's in Suho's guest room.

The last twenty-four hours crash back into him.

The migraine that was taking root during dinner, manifesting fully now.

His vision is spotty, he squeezes one of his eyes shut. The pain blooms behind his eyes into his brow bone, pressure so harsh a painful moan escapes his lips. He presses the heels of his hands into his eyelids, hoping to push the pain away.

"Sieun-ah, are you okay?!" He feels his bed dip and Suho sit by his side.

"Migraine," is all he can push out.

"Fuck, I'll bring you some pain killers, I'll be right back!" Suho rushes out again.

He feels warm tears escape, staining the pillow underneath him.

Suho comes back to his side, putting a glass of water and some pills on the bedside table, while he helps Sieun sit up.

Sieun groans at the light shining into the room.

Suho first makes him take a sip, before giving him the painkillers. Then holds up the glass again, to drink it all.

Once he drinks half, and the pills are gone, he pushes the glass away with his hand, and lays back down again.

"Can you turn off the light, it hurts," he whispers.

"Sieun-ah, the light is off?" Suho asks, confused, as he pushes Sieun's bangs away from his sweaty forehead.

"The hallway light," he groans.

Suho gets up and quickly does as asked, before coming back, barely being able to see in front of him.

"Anything else I can do for you?"

Sieun shakes his head.

But when Suho gets up, he grabs his hand.

"Stay, please," he whispers.

"Okay." Suho climbs into his bed behind him, pulling him in by his waist. Sieun turns around and pushes his face into him, replacing the pressure his hands gave him with Suho's firm chest.

"Sieun-ah, are you okay?" He asks softly, he feels him shake in his arms.

Sieun shakes his head, "hurts."

Suho tightens his arms, "I'm sorry, you'll feel better soon."

When he wakes up again, his face still planted in Suho's chest, he does not feel better.

His migraine is gone, but there's a lingering dull ache behind his eyes, he squeezes one of his eyes shut again to relieve the pain a bit. And he hasn't even touched on the conversation he had with either of his parents.

He groans, pushing himself off Suho, who wakes up at the movement.

"Sieun-ah, how do you feel?" His voice hoarse.

"Pain," he gets up, "I'm going to the bathroom, please keep it as dark as you can."

Natural light shines into the apartment, but the curtains do filter it somewhat. Suho remembers how the light shining through the slightly ajar door bothered Sieun the night before, so he walks to his closet and gets the darkest pair of sunglasses he can find.

When Sieun is done in the bathroom, still squinting his eyes, Suho hands him the glasses.

"What's this?" He slowly takes them.

"Thought they might help, I can't make the apartment darker," he replies softly.

"Oh," he puts them on, feeling some relief, "thank you, hyung," he sighs, "also for last night, I'm really sorry. It seems like you keep seeing me at my worst."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he puts his hand on his head, a solid weight Sieun realizes feels really nice right now.

He exhales softly at the feeling, "my mom has a new boyfriend."

Suho's eyes widen, "what? Don't tell me—"

Sieun shakes his head, "he's not younger than me like Naeun was, but he's still younger than mother, and he asked me to call him hyung. She also ordered me a seafood soup, even though I'm allergic," he takes a breath, "I think after I spoke with my father, this was just too much, I couldn't do it."

"Right, do you want to talk about that too?"

"No, I don't think I can right now," he wipes both hands over his face, lifting the glasses as he does, "I have to get ready for work, I can't unpack that."

"Yah," Suho is frowning, "you can't go to work like this?"

Sieun looks up, "yes, I can? I'll take some more painkillers."

Suho gives him a wary look, "you're sick Sieun-ah, go when you feel better."

Sieun sighs, "hyung, I have a responsibility to the athletes, they're all counting on me. And it's not even that bad right now, I'll feel better soon. If I don't, I'll just go home early, I know Baku hyung will be fine with it."

"Sieun-ah…" Suho is at a loss, he knows he's right, but he also wants to keep Sieun here until he's better.

"Hyung, I promise I'll be okay," he puts a hand on his arm, "if you give me some painkillers."

"Right, yeah," he breathes out, "first breakfast though, you shouldn't have them on an empty stomach."

"You gave them to me on an empty stomach yesterday?" Sieun says, a teasing smirk on his face.

Suho freezes, "fuck… I forgot you didn't eat." He turns, "sorry, I'll make it up to you today! We're having dinner together, and I'm not taking no for an answer."

Sieun's smile softens at the edges, "I was kidding hyung, I wouldn't have been able to eat anyway."

"Doesn't matter," he heads to the kitchen, "we're still having dinner."

They have a calm breakfast together, while Sieun's still wearing Suho's sunglasses.

Suho is putting the car in park, when Sieun asks him, "do you mind if I hold on to the sunglasses for the day, hyung?"

Suho just smiles at him, "keep them, they suit you better anyway."

Sieun sighs, amused, "you can't just keep giving me your stuff, I also still have your hoodie!"

Suho ruffles his hair, "I'll get new ones if I need them, but I am being serious when I say they look better on you!"

"Hmm okay. Thanks, hyungie."

They get out of the car, and into the elevator. Once the doors open, they go their separate ways.

"Sieun-ah, what's with the sunnies?" Baku asks cheerfully.

"I had a migraine last night, I'm fine now but the light still hurts my eyes," he makes a move to take them off, "I will take them off around clients, but if it bothers you I can take them off now too."

Baku gestures his hands to stop him, "no, it's fine! Keep them on, I was just wondering!"

Sieun just nods gratefully, "thank you, hyung."

They work together efficiently, the clients come and go.

During lunch Sieun takes another dose of medicine, after he eats his food in their room instead of the cafeteria, just so he can keep his glasses on without feeling weird about it. And dodge Gyujin, but Baku doesn't need to know that.

Suho did come by when he found out, just to check on him, but Sieun waved him off. Telling him they'll see each other for dinner, so he leaves again, not wanting to be overbearing.

By the time the day is done, and Sieun is massaging his temples, sunglasses still perched on his nose, Suho knocks on the door again.

"Sieun-ah, are you ready to go?" He asks carefully, while peeking through the opening.

Sieun lifts his head, "yes, hyung, I'm coming," he replies quietly, "can you give me a second?" he then asks, his tone soft.

"Of course, take your time," he replies, as he enters all the way, taking a seat on the chair meant for clients on the side.

"Park?"

"Bathroom, I think."

Sieun can't be asked to leave the room, he's too tired and his head is still throbbing. So, without warning Suho, he unbuttons his shirt, and takes it off swiftly.

Suho inhales sharply. Sieun is standing sideways as he quickly puts on a sweater again, but briefly, he is met with muscle. Sieun is small in stature, but he's not weak, Suho realizes now. He has literally carried him before, so he knew he wasn't the lightest, but he didn't expect a solid build like that. Sieun's beautiful tan skin was highlighted under the fluorescent lights of the room for a few nauseating seconds. He should've known though. As a physical therapist, having to carry around clients, doing exercises with them, and whatever else comes with the job, he should've known Sieun was fit. His shoulders broad and arms toned, his stomach a little softer, curving into a round ass. Also, he's not above admitting he has admired the way Sieun's jeans would hug his thighs on more than one occasion.

"Hyung, pick up your jaw from the floor, I'm ready to go," Sieun says smugly.

Suho shakes his head, as if to clear his thoughts, and gets up, "let's go, not-so-little one."

Sieun huffs a laugh as they leave the room.

Suho takes them to a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant, owned by a very old ajumma, with no other customers at the moment.

Since Sieun was still feeling his headache, he asked if they could go for some soup and Suho didn't need to be asked twice.

"Hyung, do you come here often?" Sieun asks him curiously.

But before he gets an answer, the ajumma comes over and puts a hand on Suho's head, "aigoo, Suho-yah, it's been so long, I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too, halmeoni, I just got very busy!" He says sheepishly.

Sieun's eyes widen.

"Who's this pretty boy?" She asks curiously, nudging Suho in his side.

"Ah, this is Yeon Sieun," he starts pouting, "he's not feeling so great, so make sure the tang is extra rich, please!"

Sieun bows his head slightly, too shy to speak suddenly. The dynamic he's witnessing is too foreign for him.

"Of course, Yeon Sieun, I'll make it delicious! You'll feel better before you can say seolleongtang!" She says with a cheerfulness in her voice that makes her seem decades younger.

A little while later she comes over with a big tray, somehow carrying the two heavy bowls at once and placing them in front of them, before leaving again.

Suho waits for Sieun to take a sip first, his smile widens when he sees the shock in his face, "it's good right?"

Sieun is just staring back owlishly, "hyung, this is delicious!"

He scarfs his food down, not realizing how hungry he was before that first sip.

After he's done, he leans back in his chair, "how did you find this place? The halmeoni seems to be close to you?"

Suho rubs the back of his neck, "yeah, I used to work here in high school, before my accident. Then I'd visit all the time after I won a match, but as you know I haven't had many matches recently, so it's been a while."

"Thank you for bringing me here, it seems like this place is important to you…" Sieun's voice is a little dazed, shy.

"Well, this place has brought me a lot of comfort, and joy. I figured you could use some of that too," he replies, a soft smile on his face.

They enjoy each other's company a bit longer. Sieun asks him to go for a walk, now that the sun's down and the breeze is cool.

Suho insists on taking Sieun back to his place, once he shows clear signs of fatigue, but Sieun says he has a point to prove to his father, so he refuses.

With heavy shoulders, he drops Sieun off—at his door—but Gyujin is once again not home.

"Sieun-ah, you proved your point, come back with me?" His eyes pleading.

"I'm already here, might as well just stay. Thank you for dropping me off though."

Suho frowns, "I'm worried about you…"

"Hyung," Sieun puts a hand on his cheek, "I'm okay, I promise, the headache is almost entirely gone. I can take care of myself, I've done this my whole life.” He smiles, “I'll see you tomorrow."

Suho tilts his head into his hand, his lips set in a pout, "if you say so. I'm picking you up in the morning though, that's non-negotiable."

Sieun chuckles, his voice low in his chest, "alright, get home safe."

Suho steps backwards, doesn't turn around as he walks back to the elevator, keeping his eyes on Sieun who just shakes his head fondly at his antics.

But his eyes widen when Suho doesn't see where he's going.

He bumps straight into Gyujin, who just got out of the elevator, glued to his phone.

"Oh! Gyujin-ah, sorry about that!" Suho says, as he dusts the non-existent dirt from his shoulder.

Gyujin shrugs his shoulder away from his hand, "Suho-ssi, what are you doing here?"

Suho points a thumb over his shoulder in Sieun's direction, "dropping off Sieunie, I was just leaving." He turns his head and waves a little at Sieun, winks at Gyujin, then pushes past him towards the elevators.

Gyujin follows Sieun inside.

"So, decided to spend the night home?" Gyujin says, his tone bitter.

Sieun checks his watch, ten.

"Could say the same to you, abeoji," he replies coldly, "besides, it's not like you ever cared before, why start now?"

"Sieun-ah, please, why are you suddenly behaving this way?" Gyujin asks, exasperated, "I think Suho is influencing you negatively, I don't like that you hang around him so much."

"Influencing me? Abeoji, I'm not being influenced by anyone." He turns around to leave for his bedroom, "I'm just tired of living in this lie."

He doesn't wait for his father to reply. He walks into his room and goes through the motions of his night routine, tucks himself into bed, and falls asleep.

The doorbell rings just as Sieun is done getting ready, but he doesn't beat Gyujin to the door.

"Who is it—?" He freezes once he sees the person on the other side.

"Oh, good morning, Gyujin-ah, I'm here for Sieun," Suho replies, a sunny smile on his face.

Sieun pushes past his father, "I'm ready, hyung. Let's go."

Sieun loops his arm around Suho's elbow and walks away, pulling him along. Suho turns his head and waves goodbye to Gyujin, before following the smaller boy easily.

The drive to work is calm, Suho hums along the radio while Sieun stares at him, quite shamelessly. Suho catches his eyes a few times, but doesn't say anything.

When they arrive, Suho opens the door for him.

"Sieun-ah, what are you doing later?"

"I got nothing planned, why?"

Suho looks away, almost shy?! "Want to come back to my place? I'll make dinner, and we could watch a movie since it's Friday?"

Sieun just stares at him for a few moments, "hyung."

"Yeah?"

"Are you asking me out on a date right now? This is the second time you're doing this." Sieun's face is open, a big question mark on his forehead.

"Well, not a date per se, just asking you if you want to hang out? I did promise to find a new hobby with you…" He rubs the back of his neck.

"Yes, of course, I would like to hang out with you! I was practically begging you the other day!" Sieun laughs incredulously.

Suho also grins, "yeah, okay, meet me down here again. I won't be here for lunch, I'm going to the hospital with Gotak for a check-up."

Sieun nods, "alright, thank you for letting me know. Is he okay?"

Suho's face dims a little, "he should be, it's just a routine thing, but we're only in the clear when he doesn't need to go anymore for these."

"I hope it goes well," he turns to the elevator, "I'll see you later, hyung!"

The rest of the day goes by quickly. He's learned over the few weeks he's worked here, that he and Baku work very well together, which makes his days also a lot more enjoyable.

They bid each other farewell, as Sieun goes down to the parking lot.

He's met with Suho leaning against his black Audi, while on his phone. A frown on his face.

"Hyung!" He calls out.

Suho looks up, pocketing his phone. He smiles at Sieun, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Hey, Sieun-ah, had a good day?"

"Yeah, it was fine, are you okay though?" Sieun's eyebrows set in a frown that matches Suho's earlier one.

"Yeah, I'm fine, let's go?"

He nods, deciding not to press him. At least until they're home.

When they arrive, Sieun takes a quick shower and changes into comfortable clothes.

Suho just goes to the kitchen and starts cutting vegetables in stilted, almost robotic movements, deep in thought.

"Hyung?"

His shoulders jump, his daze interrupted like he forgot there was someone else in the apartment with him, "yes?"

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't seem okay."

"Sieun-ah," he lowers his knife, and turns around, "I don't think I can do this anymore."

"What are you talking about?" Sieun just looks at him, confused.

"This," he gestures a hand between them, "I don't think it's a good idea."

Sieun sits down at the island, "why suddenly?"

"Just—" he runs a hand through his hair, "listen to your hyung, please." He begs.

Sieun's spine straightens, one of his eyebrows raised, "excuse me?"

Sieun feels anger lighting up in him. Suho's using the same tone his parents use when they speak to him, like he's still a clueless kid.

"Sieun-ah, I had a day today. And it made me realize something," Suho says, not at all seeing Sieun's blood boiling.

"Did you now?" Sieun crosses his arms.

"Yeah— I just… I'm worried I'll be a bad influence on you—" Sieun doesn't let him continue.

"Yah!" Enough! "Ahn Suho, who do you think you are to influence me?!"

"Yah? Ahn Suho?!" Suho's eyes are wide at Sieun's outburst, “Sieun-ah?”

"No! I'm so sick of this. Stop treating me like some clueless kid who you'll corrupt with your old age! For crying out loud, hyung, we're in two thousand twenty-fucking-six! Who cares?!" He stands up, paces for a few seconds, before turning back to face Suho, "and don't ever use that fucking tone with me again."

"Tone? Yah, Yeon Sieun," he takes a step closer, "what?" He breathes out a disbelieving laugh, genuinely at a loss for words.

"You forget we're both adults here, I think you're hot—in case you hadn't noticed," he pushes his hair back in his frustration, making the dark pink strands stand up a little, "so stop acting like my fucking dad!"

Despite the situation, Suho smiles, "you think I'm hot?"

"Yah!" Sieun punches his arm, "listen to me!"

"Alright! Fuck," Suho bites back his smile, as he rubs the potential bruise, "I'm sorry!"

"Do not speak to me like that again, am I clear?!" He repeats, crossing his arms again while he waits for him to answer.

"Okay! I'm sorry!" Suho is close to getting on his knees, anything to stop him from making that face.

"Okay," Sieun takes a deep breath, "now, I won't get influenced. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, what would you even influence me with?"

"I don't know, I'm older than your father! That's already—"

"Hyung, please, stop talking. You're not my father, and I don't want you to be," Sieun replies, his tone still reprimanding, "we already talked about this."

"Sieun-ah," his voice shaking, "what do you want me to do?"

"There's a lot I want you to do," he sighs, "but I need you to understand that you don't have some high ground on me just because you have the years."

Suho nods slowly, "yeah, okay, I see that now. I'm sorry."

"Thank you," he walks over, gently places a hand on his shoulder, "would you like to talk about the day you've had?"

Suho deflates like a balloon, as he takes a seat next to Sieun at the island, guiding him to sit back down too. "Gotak's not doing so hot, his knee is acting up again, and he won't be able to participate in the match we've been training for."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, hyung," Sieun thinks for a moment on his words, but can't seem to understand, "in what way did that make you think about us though?"

"He says that because I did it, and went into training immediately after my recovery, he should be allowed to as well. And as much as I try, I can't get him to listen to me, I have no ground to stand on," he wipes his face tiredly, "because I did do that, and it wasn't good. But I won that fight at the time, even if it fucked me up for weeks after, so he won't listen to anything I say. I only barely kept him away from the gym today."

Sieun just lets him vent, it seems like it weighs heavily on his shoulders.

"Sieun-ah, I'm just worried something similar will happen. You'll do something I did, because I did it and succeeded, when I regret a lot in my life. I don't want you following my footsteps." Suho's eyes are so full of pain, tears threatening to spill out.

"Hyung, I don't want to follow your footsteps," he smiles fondly at the frown that creates on his face, "I want to stand next to you, if you let me."

"Sieun-ah…" Suho pulls on his arm, until he's standing between his knees. He wraps his arms around his waist, tucking his face into Sieun's neck. He takes a deep breath, "you're so warmhearted, you know that?"

"After all the yelling I did earlier?" He laughs as he brings his arms around his shoulders, patting him softly on his back.

"Especially after that." He nuzzles his face deeper.

"I'm sorry about Gotak, hyung. Give him some time, he's probably still in denial."

"I know. I'm going to train him for the next one. But, he was really looking forward to this." Suho sighs.

"I'll help too, I'll schedule some appointments for him."

“Hmm, thank you.” Suho's stomach rumbles, an embarrassed flush spreads on his skin, "oh, let me get back to making dinner."

Sieun chuckles, "yeah, okay."

Suho squeezes him a little harder, pressing his knees around him too for a moment, before letting go. Sieun shakes his head fondly.

Suho makes a quick kimchi-jjigae before sitting down with him again. This time with two bowls on the table.

"By the way," Suho starts between sips, "you still haven't told me about what happened between you and Gyujin. You don't have to, but you can if you want."

Sieun sighs, "where do I even start. I don't know if our relationship is salvageable. He's so thick-headed."

"If there's one thing I know about Gyujin, it's his stubbornness," Suho replies amused.

"He broke up with Naeun, by the way. Which is why he's been coming back late again." Sieun's eyes are in his bowl, his spoon drawing slow circles in the broth.

"Oh, that's good, no?" Suho asks, tentatively.

"Well, it just proved to me that the care he showed me was all just a performance for her. He even confirmed it by accident," Sieun feels a sting in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sieun-ah. He's wrong for that." He reaches over to hold Sieun's hand.

"It's fine, I'm used to this. I don't know why it's affecting me so much these days." He puts down his spoon and wipes his eyes. "Thank you for listening to me, hyung."

"Of course, I'm happy to be here." He smiles kindly, "what do we do from here?"

"I'm kind of way past the fake-dating, or whatever it is we have been doing, and kind of just want to spend time with you," he looks away, "if you want to."

Suho nods, "I do want to. This doesn't mean we're dating though, we're still getting to know each other."

Sieun snorts, "or as my dear mother put it," he raises his nose, "we're meeting each other with good feelings."

Suho laughs, his whole body shaking, "exactly!"

They make quick work of cleaning everything up, and getting comfortable on the couch. Suho's plan to watch a movie is still very much intact.

"What movie do you want to watch, sweetheart?" Suho asks, after settling beside him, his arms stretched over the entire backrest.

Sieun is so over pretending, so he just leans into his space completely, resting against his side while leaning his head on his shoulder and arm that's behind his head.

He shrugs, "thriller?"

Suho grabs a blanket that's folded over the armrest with his free hand, and throws it over their laps, "oooh, didn't take you for the thriller type! Alright, thriller it is!"

He turns on the first movie he sees and sits back.

Halfway through, their positions are almost entirely shifted.

"Sieun-ah! The reflection! The grandpa is twisting his neck!" He's clutching Sieun's arm, "tell me when it's over, I'm closing my eyes."

He squeezes his eyes shut until there's a thunk! sound from the screen, "no! Did he die?! Did the grandpa kill him?!"

"They called an ambulance but there's no way he survived that." Sieun strokes Suho's hair as he's leaning half behind his shoulder. "Hyung, I didn't take you for the scared type, I thought you were only scared of bugs?"

Suho leans back to look at Sieun, his voice suddenly touched, "yah… Sieun-ah, you remembered that?"

"Of course I did," he replies absentmindedly, "hyung, pay attention, the grandpa went after the baby!"

"Not the baby?!" He wails.

They finish the movie like that, Suho using Sieun as a shield, and Sieun being highly invested in the story.

Once they're done they sit back, digesting it.

"Hyung…" Sieun says a little dazed, "that was so good?!"

"You think so? Between the grandfather ghost, and the Japanese shogun zombie, I don't remember much of the plot actually."

"Wah, you completely missed the story! The riddle, the tiger's broken back, the shogun being the metal they were looking for— oh! The blood used as water to counter the fire, and don't get me started on the ritual," Sieun sits up, his eyes blinking in excitement, "I have to rewatch that soon!"

He starts rambling about the symbolism, the relation to Korean history, the Japanese invasion, the generational curse.

Suho's gaze turns fond, his chest exploding with feelings. This is the first time he's seen Sieun speak so animatedly, he can't help himself.

He leans in.

Cutting Sieun's sentence off with a press of his lips.

Sieun's eyes widen at the sudden contact, but before he can react, Suho moves away again.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to cut you off, you were just so cute and I couldn't stop mys—"

Sieun's eyes flutter close, as he wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him back, crashing their lips together harder than Suho had done before.

Suho holds the back of his neck, turns him to lean against the armrest gently, bracing himself with his other hand next to him. Successfully caging Sieun in.

Sieun moves his hands down from his neck and slides them over his chest, to the hem of his shirt, sneaking his hands under it and touching his skin directly.

Suho doesn't react to this, until he starts lifting the shirt and Suho feels like he's doused in ice water.

He pulls back just a centimeter, their breaths still mingling, as he holds Sieun's wrists, straining his core while he does this—not wanting to create more space between them.

"Wait, darling, slow down."

Sieun pouts, "what's wrong?"

Suho gives his lips another quick kiss, "I'm still coming to terms with this, we can't move too fast. Please."

Suho chuckles low as Sieun's pout doesn't disappear. Endeared, he presses his lips all over his face, while cradling his cheeks with his hands. Earning the cutest sound he's ever heard in his life out of Sieun.

He's giggling.

Suho feels his heart soar.

"Hyungaahhhh!" Sieun whines between his relentless pecks.

"Sieun-ah, you're so cute! What am I supposed to do with you?!" Suho exclaims.

"There's a lot you can do with me, but you just stopped me!" Sieun tries to pout again, he can't stop himself from smiling.

Suho drops his entire body weight on top of him, and wraps his arms around his waist, tucking his face in the warmth of his neck.

"Hyung, what are you doing?" Sieun asks, amused.

"Just five minutes, sweetheart." Suho nuzzles closer.

Sieun brings his arms around his neck again, his legs around his waist, hugging him like he would a big teddy bear.

After a few minutes, Sieun hears soft snores.

"… Hyung, did you fall asleep?"

There's no reply, only more snores. Sieun breathes out a little laugh, before putting his nose in his hair, smelling his sandalwood shampoo. He feels so relaxed, the smell, the weight, it all makes his eyelids heavy.

A few minutes won't hurt.

He falls asleep too.

Sieun wakes up Saturday morning with sunlight shining on his face, and a very heavy body on top of him still.

He groans, trying to push Suho off, but he's like dead weight, his arms still around his waist like iron.

It makes him laugh, "hyung! Wake up!" He shakes his shoulders as much as he can, moving his legs, just to get him to wake up.

Suho takes a sharp breath, then groans.

"Sieunie?" He blinks awake, lifting his head.

"Hyung!" He laughs, still trying to push him off.

Suho lifts himself up by bracing his arms and knees around Sieun, caging him in with his body again, "yah, did we sleep through the night like that?!"

"Yeah, my whole body hurts, you're so heavy!" There's no bite in his words, the smile lingering.

He then puts a hand to his neck, "yah! Hyung! You drooled on me?! Gross!"

"Oh! I'm so sorry," Suho leans his head down where it was before and places his lips over the drool, blowing a loud, annoying raspberry into it.

"Hyung!" Sieun pushes his face away with a flat palm. He brings his drool covered hand over to Suho's chest, wiping the saliva on his chest, while moving his hand over his pecs longer than necessary. He's fooling no one.

Suho wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, "that was the best sleep I've had in months." He grins.

Sieun averts his eyes, "me too."

"Yeah?" Suho's smile is so sweet, this time Sieun can't help himself.

He pulls Suho down by the neck and gives him a loud smack! On the lips. Before pushing him off with all his strength, making him tumble off the couch and onto the floor.

"Yah!"

"I'm gonna go wash up!" He rushes out of the room, and into the guest bathroom.

"Yah!!!" He hears Suho call again after him.

After they have breakfast, Suho asks Sieun what he wants to do, which he has no answer for.

"Whatever you want to do. I don't care, just want to spend time with you," he leans his cheek in his hand, while he sits at the island, admiring Suho's broad back in a t-shirt that stretches just right across his shoulders while he's doing the dishes.

Suho looks over his shoulder, and grins, "you're so sweet, Sieun-ah!"

"Wanna eat ramen?" Sieun smiles back cheekily.

Suho's gaze turns confused, "we just had breakf—" then he sighs, looks back at the dishes sitting in the bubbles as his shoulders sag, "you're impossible."

Sieun cackles out a laugh, "I'm kidding, hyung! You're so easy to tease."

He resumes washing the dishes, "you're going to be the death of me, sweetheart."

Sieun slides out of the chair, and pads over to Suho barefoot. He wraps his arms tightly around his middle, and leans his head between his shoulder blades. He squeezes his eyes shut, suddenly overwhelmed with cuteness for this man.

Suho lifts his arms slightly, looking down at the hands tightly squeezing him around his center, "Sieun-ah, are you okay?"

"Hyung, you're so adorable!"

He huffs a laugh, "me? Adorable?" He tries to turn around, but Sieun's holding him in place, "that's a new one!"

Sieun noses at his neck, sliding his shirt's collar to the side, "I don't know what to do with myself, I just want to—" he bites him in the firm trapezius muscle.

Suho yelps, "Yah! Sieun-ah, what the fuck?!" Despite the words, Sieun can hear the smile in his voice.

His teeth are still in his shoulder.

"Darling. Sweetheart," a laugh, "seriously, unlock your jaw please."

Sieun releases his teeth from his skin, smacks a few kisses on the indentations of his teeth, "sorry, I couldn't help myself."

Suho quickly dries his hands, before bringing one of them up to the spot Sieun just bit.

"Yah."

Sieun loosens his arms, his hands resting on the lean muscles over his stomach.

Suho turns in his grip, and Sieun smiles up sheepishly at him. He loses the fight in him, sighs again, then leans his head down so their foreheads touch.

"You're such a weirdo, kitten."

"Kitten?!"

"Kittens bite."

"Ok, I deserve that."

Suho takes a deep breath, Sieun scrunches his nose when the air fans his face.

"Do you want to go visit my halmeoni with me today?"

Sieun's eyes widen, he moves his head back to look at him properly, "today?"

Suho smiles, as if this isn't a huge deal to Sieun, "yeah, why not? She'd be happy with the company. And it's been too long since I last visited."

Sieun hesitates, "I mean…"

Suho's smile dims a little, "unless you already had plans for the weekend? I don't want to force you, of course! It's up to you."

"She won't mind?" Sieun asks, his voice small.

"What? No! She will love you Sieun-ah, I promise!" He squeezes his fingers around his waist.

"Yeah, okay." He nods slowly, "why not?" He parrots.

Suho grins happily, gives him a quick kiss on the lips, "thank you, Sieun-ah!"

Like it's nothing.

"Hyung, if you do things like that I'm going to think you like me." Sieun's face is deadpan.

"… But I do like you?" He looks confused.

"Whatever," he hides his very red face in his chest, "let's go get ready."

They detach, and Suho barks a laugh when Sieun runs to the guestroom with his hands covering his face.

He wears the hoodie Suho had given him last time, with a pair of normal jeans and his converse. Black Eastpak on his back, his hair tousled on his head.

Suho wears a black t-shirt, that looks like it's a size too small if you ask Sieun, a pair of straight legged black slacks and some expensive looking black leather loafers.

He looks delectable.

He runs a hand through his hair, making the hair frame his forehead handsomely, a few strands falling loose.

He puts on a pair of sunglasses, then does the same to Sieun—perching a very nice pair on his nose too, and nods his head to the door as he grabs his keys.

"Let's go?"

The drive is pleasant. They turn on the radio, Suho sings along to some songs that Sieun doesn't know, but he feels warm nonetheless.

The city view quickly turns into nature. Sieun's eyes don't leave the window.

"Hyung, this is my first time leaving Seoul."

Suho eyes widen, "you've never been outside of Seoul?! Wah, let hyung—" he stutters when Sieun shoots him a sharp look, "let me take you on adventures then! I'm going to show you so many places, Sieun-ah!"

Sieun turns back to the window, "can't wait." He smiles softly.

Suho strokes a hand over the back of his head, unable to stop himself, "me neither."

They arrive at an old hanok style house. The walls and beams are a beautiful dark wood, with a black tiled roof. It's got a square shaped layout, where the small courtyard has a beautiful maple tree growing in the middle of it.

Suho walks straight through the front doors without knocking, Sieun following close behind.

"Halmeoni! I'm home!" Suho calls loudly.

There's a sound of shuffling coming from inside the house, "Suho-yah! You're back already? Do you ever let your halmeoni rest?" Even Sieun can tell she's joking from the tone of her voice, he realizes he's smiling at the words.

He pulls at Suho's t-shirt sleeve, "hyung, you said it'd been long since you last visited?"

Suho looks back at him, "it's been over two weeks! That's long!"

One of the doors on the side slides open, and an old lady walks out. Her hair's in a neat bun, and she's got a warm look on her face.

Sieun immediately sees where Suho gets his smile from.

"Oh! You didn't come alone this time?" She slides on her slippers by the door, and walks over to them. Suho bends down to give her a warm hug, completely enveloping her with his body. She lifts her head to put her chin on his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his broad back. He doesn't let her go.

"There, there. You big baby, when will you grow up?" She pats him on his back. "Will you let me go, and introduce me to my guest?"

Suho detaches, and grabs Sieun's hand to pull him closer, "right! Halmeoni, this is Yeon Sieun."

She walks over and gives him a warm hug too, one he hesitantly—but equally as warm—returns. "Nice to meet you, Sieun dear!"

After she lets him go, she looks at her grandson with a lift of her eyebrow, "just Yeon Sieun, no other introduction?"

Suho looks away, a blush dusting his ears, "don't worry about it," he replies with a pout.

She rolls her eyes, "well, don't just stand there, come in, come in!"

They take off their shoes, and wear the slippers halmeoni has inside.

Sieun's eyes wander when they walk through, the walls all are a complete contrast to his own apartment's.

There's so many photos of Suho.

"Hyung," a laugh escapes him, "you used to have braces?!"

"We weren't all born with perfect teeth, Sieun-ah. I used to have a crazy snaggletooth," he smiles, showing his teeth, "not even braces could hide it all the way."

Sieun's eyes widen, his hands shoot out to hold his face, tilting it a bit to look at his canines better, "hyung."

Suho's smile widens, "Sieun?"

"You're so cute!" He breathes a laugh, unable to contain his fondness.

Suho pouts, "do you really think so?"

Sieun squeezes his cheeks together, exaggerating his pout, "do you not like it?"

"No," his face twists in a frown, "I want you to think I'm… I don't know… cool."

Sieun cackles, "hyungie, I think you're so cool!" He wraps his arms around his neck tightly, pressing their cheeks together, "but you're also so adorable, I don't know what to do with myself!"

When he releases him again, Suho's face softens into a smile, he brings his hand to cradle his face, his thumb swiping over the raised cheekbone, "you're so pretty, Sieun-ah."

"Are you two going to stand there all day, or will you show him around, Suho-yah?"

They jump apart at halmeoni's voice, "yes! Let's go Sieun-ah, I'll show you your room!"

Sieun pouts, pulling at his sleeve again, "we're not sharing?"

"No," Suho moves the hair away from his forehead gently, "we are not sharing a room in my grandmother's house."

After showing him all the rooms, and backyard, they sit down at the dinner table where halmeoni has prepared a proper feast for the two.

It's delicious.

When he tries to think about the last time he has eaten a homemade meal, he comes up with nothing.

His grip tightens around the chopsticks, he tries to swallow the lump in his throat.

His gaze drops to his bowl.

When suddenly he sees a piece of meat being put on his rice.

He raises his wide wet eyes, meeting Suho's warm ones smiling back. But when he sees the tears threatening to spill out, his face goes through different emotions, finally settling on a frown. He sends him a questioning look, but Sieun just shakes his head small.

He wipes his tears as he eats the bite Suho prepared for him.

They eat like that quietly for the rest of the meal. Halmeoni and Suho putting food on top of his rice, while he quietly eats everything with lowered eyes, occasionally wiping his tears with the back of his hand.

After they're done they tell halmeoni to sit down, and start doing the dishes.

"Sieun-ah, are you okay?" Suho doesn't look at him, continues the movements of his hands, cleaning the small bowls and banchan dishes.

Sieun appreciates that he always lets him open up on his own terms, giving him the space to decide for himself, before giving him his eyes. He knows he wouldn't be able to choose if he sees Suho's worried gaze, and Suho knows this too.

"I'm okay, hyung," Sieun dries the things Suho hands him, "I just never had a real home cooked meal at home before."

Suho's face snaps to his, "did your parents not feed you?!" He takes a deep breath after seeing he accidentally startled Sieun, "I'm sorry. I—"

"No, you're right," he runs a hand through his hair, "they… did. Kind of. They made dinner, but most of the time it was either instant food, delivery food, or just something random thrown together. My parents were kids when they had me, they didn't know how to cook for or handle a child."

"Okay, but it seems like they never changed? Even after becoming adults." Suho is gripping the sponge a little harder, cleaning the dishes a little more aggressively.

"I guess with the divorce, and then choosing their careers, it was more me on my own. I never learned how to cook either, that's on me."

Suho leans heavily against the sink, dropping his head, "Sieun-ah, it's not on you, your parents never showed you how to have a warm meal. Never taught you the importance of it. It's okay, I'll bring you around so much, halmeoni will become years younger from all the excitement she'll feel by feeding you."

"I wouldn't want to impose, hyung!"

"You're not imposing, I'm offering. Besides, halmeoni would love for you to come along. She already adores you, in case you hadn't noticed." Suho's anger seems to have dissipated again.

"Alright," Sieun smiles shyly, "I would like that."

They finish doing the dishes, and Suho asks him if he would like to see the neighborhood.

The weather is comfortable, it's not too hot or too cold, the breeze is fresh, the air is clean.

"Hyung," Sieun starts while they're strolling through the streets, "I noticed you didn't have any graduation photos."

"Ah," Suho's posture doesn't change, still the loose gait with his hands in his pockets. His smile stiffens just a little though, "right. Yeah I had my… accident when I was seventeen. By the time I woke up from my coma I had lost two years, so instead of going back to school, I just took my GED instead. So no graduation for me."

"Oh I'm sorry. I remember you mentioning your coma before, I didn't want to pry," Sieun says, unsure how the subject still affects Suho years later.

"I mean," Suho runs a hand through his hair, "it wasn't an accident, actually. I had a disagreement with a friend, and I got… jumped, I guess. It wasn't pretty, I'm over it now, it's been decades, but it's never easy thinking back on it. That was my best friend, the only one I had."

"Oh I'm so sorry, hyung." Sieun frowns.

"That's why—in case you hadn't noticed—I don't really make friends. It kind of stuck… what if I get jumped again? It's stupid." He rubs the back of his neck.

"Hyung," Sieun stops in his tracks, "that's not stupid. Your best friend almost killed you."

He sighs, "yeah, you're right. Thank you for understanding, sweetheart."

"What changed though?" He asks carefully.

"What do you mean?" Suho slows his pace.

Sieun hesitates, "you haven't really pushed me away, at all…?"

"Oh," Suho makes a face, like he's also realizing this only now, "I guess, you make me feel safe."

Suho's on the floor.

He's bleeding.

From his head.

It's all dark around, loud thumps sound as he's still being kicked but Sieun can't make out the faces. All he can tell is that Suho's on the floor.

He tries to scream but no sound comes out, his feet feel like lead. There's no way to save him.

He hears a particularly violent crack as his head whips to the side, his arm falling limp.

Sieun's eyes are open before he realizes. He's on his side, in bed.

His breathing loud, tears gathering in his eyes.

A dream. Suho is okay.

He's staring at the door that's slightly ajar, he doesn't have a headache, so he welcomes the dim light that's pouring in. Anything to distract him from the heaviness he feels in his chest. Should've brought my pillow.

Air enters his lungs with difficulty, painfully. His chest feels like it's about to implode, beads of sweat trickle down his hairline, "fuck." He wipes his eyes, his hands becoming wet.

He tries to take deep breaths, close his eyes and go back to sleep. But he can't, his chest is still too heavy, the air still entering his lungs too slowly.

And he needs to check if Suho is okay.

He gets up, his limbs fighting him, but he needs to get up or he feels like his heart will give in.

He quietly pads next door, careful not to wake up halmeoni.

"Hyung…" he whispers into the opening of Suho's bedroom.

Suho squints as he lifts his head, "Sieun?"

He lets out a breath of relief, he's fine.

"Can I come in?" He asks, his voice small.

"Yes, of course," he lifts his blanket, "come here."

Sieun goes over to him, after closing the door, slowly crawling into Suho's space, until his face is in his chest.

"Are you okay?" Suho asks, as he brings his arms around him.

Sieun shakes his head, his breathing still labored, "nightmare. Feels like my chest is caving in." He feels a kiss land in his hair.

"Shit, I'm sorry."

"I'll be okay. Sorry for disturbing your sleep again, hyung."

"It's okay, we'll sleep in. Halmeoni won't wake us up," Suho reassures him.

Sieun makes an affirmative sound, before nuzzling deeper into Suho's skin, his warmth loosening the knot under his sternum.

He takes a deep breath, breathing in the rich pine smell from his bodywash, stirring something in his chest.

He snakes his arms around his neck, pulling himself up a little, his nose closer to his neck now, where he can feel the faint thrum of his heartbeat.

"You're okay," he whispers, his muscles relaxing more and more with every beat he feels.

Suho, thinking Sieun is telling himself and the words are not directed at Suho, replies, "you are." Bringing his arms around his smaller waist, pulling him flush against him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Suho asks, always so patient. It tugs at Sieun's heartstrings.

He shakes his head, his hair tickling Suho when he does, "no, it's embarrassing…"

"I'm sure it's not," his hand rubs slow circles on the small of his back, "you got scared enough to come find me."

"Maybe I just wanted an excuse to sleep next to you?" Sieun tries.

Suho's not fooled, he still huffs a laugh though, "nice try, will you really not tell hyu— me?"

Sieun smiles at the correction, "I… dreamed you got hurt really badly, and I couldn't save you." His voice shakes when he admits this, the sounds of shoes meeting Suho's body still echoing in his mind.

"Oh, my sweet Sieunie," he tightens his hold, "I'm so sorry. I am tough though, nothing to worry about."

"Alright, I believe you," he replies quietly.

He eventually falls asleep like that, completely latched onto Suho.

He wakes up in a very different position, though.

His arms are not around Suho's neck anymore. Instead, they're now tucked into his chest, lodged between him and Suho.

Who is holding him warm against him now, Sieun's head tucked under his chin, his arms around his waist, their legs tangled. The blanket is covering Sieun almost entirely.

He feels so toasty. There's not a chance he'll get up on his own.

He slowly slides his arms around Suho's waist, splaying his hands over his naked back. Nuzzling his nose into his collarbones.

He feels a rumble, "Sieun-ah, awake?"

"Good morning, hyung," his mouth moves against his skin the way his face is smushed into his chest, "what time is it?"

Suho shivers, but doesn't make a move to get up yet either, "ten-ish."

"Oh, that's not bad."

"Sieun-ah, I'm ticklish," Suho breathes out.

Sieun's lips curve into a smile, "are you?"

"Yeah," Suho brings his hand to his face, not making a move to push him away yet, "you need to stop talking for a minute."

"Don't want to," he replies, his voice lazy.

Suho pushes himself off, just a little, his one arm still around Sieun's waist. He looks down, his face so fond.

"Good morning, Sieun-ah."

Sieun smiles back, his eyes still crescents from sleep, "good morning, hyung."

"Let's go have breakfast? Halmeoni is probably waiting." He strokes a thumb under his eye.

"Yeah, okay," he brings his face back to his chest, "five more minutes."

"Alright," he happily pulls him back in, flush against himself again, "five more."

Once they get up, and Sieun laughs at Suho's bed head for a minute, they go wash up, and join halmeoni for breakfast.

She has an elaborate spread laying for them already.

"Good morning, kids! Did you sleep well?" She greets them warmly, as if they hadn't kept her waiting for hours.

Suho stretches his arms high above himself, "the best." He winks at Sieun, before sitting down.

Halmeoni's eagle eyes catch his expression though, and she smacks a wooden spoon on his head, earning an ouch! out of him, "don't tease the boy!"

"Good morning, halmeoni," he bows at her, "it was okay."

"Okay. That's why I woke up with drool all over my—" Sieun slaps a hand over his mouth.

"Hyung, if you don't Shut Up right now, I'm going to do worse than halmeoni did," he hisses.

"Suho's snoring probably kept you up, didn't it dear?" Halmeoni chips in.

Sieun pinks in his cheeks immediately.

Suho's eyes widen, "you knew we slept in the same room?"

Halmeoni seems unfettered, "oh you did? I just thought it would carry through the walls."

Sieun flicks his finger on Suho's ear for exposing them, as he walks past him to sit on the chair next to him.

"Thank you for the meal," Sieun says quietly, he waits for halmeoni to start before he digs in.

He feels a heavy hand stroke the back of his head for a brief moment, before Suho also picks up his own chopsticks.

There's not much else going on, they eat quietly, the only sounds filling the room are the chopsticks clinking against the bowls.

Sieun and Suho once again clean up together after.

Unfortunately they can't stay much longer, but they promise halmeoni to come by again.

She gives Sieun a long warm hug, which he reciprocates equally as warm, less hesitant this time. When she lets him go, she places a very weathered, but steady hand on his cheek, "dear, please come by often."

He nods, ignoring the sting in his eyes, "I will, halmeoni, thank you for having me."

She pats his cheek, "it was nothing!" She turns to Suho, "take care of him, and yourself." She hugs him too, he tucks his head in her neck.

"I will halmeoni," he says muffled, "I already miss you, can't you come live with me in Seoul?"

"You know I'm not made for the city life, don't worry so much about me." She pats his back, signaling him to let go. He ignores her. Hugs her even tighter.

"Aegi-yah, I'll miss you too," she says softly.

Suho takes a deep breath, before letting go completely.

"Love you so much, halmeoni," he gives her a kiss on the cheek, "I will visit again soon, with Sieun if possible."

"Thank you, kids. Have a safe trip home." She waves them good bye, as they go back to the car.

The car ride back is quiet.

Sieun dozes off at some point.

He only wakes up when he feels a hand in his hair again.

"Hyung?" He whispers, as he rubs his eyes.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he retracts his hand, after giving his cheek a little rub too, "we've arrived."

"Oh," he blinks, "my place?" He pouts.

"Yeah, you got work tomorrow," he sighs, "as much as I would like to keep you, you should probably stay home tonight."

Sieun nods weakly, "you're right, thank you for dropping me off." He finally looks into Suho's eyes, and is met with such a kind gaze, squeezing his heart almost painfully.

"I'll drop you off at your door, let's go." He gets out of the car and opens Sieun's door for him, offering his hand.

Sieun takes it bashfully and they walk inside the building like that.

When they're at his door, Suho loosens his grip but Sieun pulls his hand tighter, "do you have to go?"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I don't think it's a good idea that I stay here after you spent the entire weekend with me." He's still smiling, but his eyes are a little sad.

"Then…" Sieun looks away, a blush creeping over his cheeks, "will you pick me up in the morning?" His hold still tight.

"Of course," he laughs, "that was never a question."

Finally Sieun weakens his grip, and lets go.

He pushes in the passcode to the door, and opens it. But before entering he turns to Suho again, "good night, hyung. Get home safe."

"Good night, Sieun-ah." He does his silly backwards walk again, throwing a look over his shoulder to make sure he doesn't walk into anyone this time, earning a cute smile out of Sieun, before disappearing behind the door.

Sieun enters his apartment with heavy footsteps, half expecting his father to be sitting at the dinner table, ready with another lecture.

But instead he's met with darkness, and silence.

He's not sure which one stings more.

형이

Darling

I'm outside

Coming

👍

-

Sieun tucks his phone into his jeans, grabs his backpack, and walks out. Gyujin is having breakfast but Sieun doesn't even spare him a glance.

He hears a faint, "Sieun-ah!" from behind the door but he ignores it, and continues downstairs.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Suho says, as Sieun walks up to him.

Sieun doesn't reply, instead he just wraps his arms around his waist, pushes his face into his chest.

"Are you okay, Sieun-ah?" Suho asks gently, his arms wrapping around his shoulders, concern bleeding through his words.

"Yes, just… give me a second," he replies, voice muffled.

"Alright." He strokes his back, while Sieun breathes slowly.

Suho looks up and sees Gyujin looking down at them again.

"Sieun-ah, your father's watching again from the window," he says quietly.

"Don't care," is all Sieun replies, squeezing his arms tighter.

They stand like that for a while longer—all three of them—before Suho starts stroking Sieun's hair urging him to look at him.

"Hmm?" Sieun blinks at the taller man.

"I'm more than willing to stand here with you for as long as you like, but we'll be late for work if we do," Suho whispers to him, unwilling to break the vulnerability in Sieun right now.

That snaps Sieun back to reality, "oh— sorry, hyung, yeah let's go." He rounds the car with quick steps, before Suho can even get to the door, and sits down.

Suho gets into the driver's seat, leans over to buckle Sieun in, and starts the car.

Sieun goes about his day at work.

A few hours into it, Baku pats him on his back.

"Sieun-ah, you've been doing so well these past few weeks! I'm so incredibly proud of you!" His hand is heavy but not enough to topple him over.

Sieun feels something stir in his chest.

"Thank you, hyung. That means a lot," Sieun says, as he avoids his eyes, suddenly too shy and overwhelmed with emotions after hearing those words unprompted.

He doesn't remember the last time someone told him they're proud of him, besides Suho.

Baku checks his watch, "I say it's time for lunch, let's go, Sieun-ssi!"

Normally Suho would be at the door to pick him up for lunch, but Gotak is already back at training so Suho's keeping a close eye on him, meaning he'll probably see him in the cafeteria.

No matter, Sieun is in perfect company with Baku.

Until they get interrupted by an annoying ringing sound from Baku's pocket.

"Shit, gotta take this," he pats his shoulder, "go ahead without me, I'll see you there!"

Sieun just bows his head slightly, before continuing towards his destination.

He doesn't reach the cafeteria.

"Sieun-ah, can we please talk?" Gyujin holds his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

He pulls it back harshly, but keeps his voice even, "what do you want?"

His father looks around, "can we talk in here?" He nods his head towards the room he just came out of.

Sieun rolls his eyes, "fine."

Once they're inside, he crosses his arms, waiting for his father to start talking.

"Adeul, I'm disappointed in you," he says.

Sieun scoffs, but doesn't say anything else.

Gyujin breathes through his nose, trying to stay calm it seems, "the way you're hanging around Ahn Suho, someone who's much older than you, is a bad idea. And I didn't think you'd stoop that low."

"We've already had this conversation, abeoji," he spits out, "it's the same age difference as you and Naeun. I don't see a problem here, I'm a consenting adult."

"You are my son! And I am worried about you, he's a very violent and dangerous person! My relationship with Naeun has nothing to do with this!" He raises his voice more with each word.

Sieun's nose flares, his breathing becomes heavy, he puts his fingertips to his forehead—trying to prevent a headache that he feels growing, "he's neither of those things! He's one of the gentlest people I know," he aims his eyes at the man in front of him, "and he knows me better than you do!"

"That is not possible!" Gyujin points his index finger in his direction, "I am your father! There is no way he'd know you better!"

"You don't even know how old I am!" Sieun starts speaking with his hands too, moving them in the air with every word as his emotions rise, "he has put in more effort to get to know me in the last few weeks, than you have in my entire life! You do not get to act like my father, just because you feel inferior to him!"

"I am not acting like your father, I am your father! And it's about damn time you showed me some respect!" Gyujin's voice booms through the room, landing harshly in Sieun's sternum.

He stands frozen.

"I am so disappointed in you."

"It's not like you ever cared about me, so why would I care about what you have to say now?"

"You're being irresponsible!" Gyujin yells back.

"What's irresponsible is having a child at sixteen! What's irresponsible is leaving that child alone for days on end, is never asking for that child's needs, never showing up for that child." He takes a deep breath, "what's irresponsible is when that child comes home at twenty, exhausted from his military service, and you're not even there to greet him!"

Sieun doesn't give him a chance to reply, not caring for it. He pushes past him through the door, not willing to let him see his tears.

As soon as he turns the corner, he walks straight into a solid chest.

"Sieun-ah?" Suho asks, a frown drawing deep lines on his face.

"Oh hyung," he sniffles, he really wants to be alone right now, "I'm going to the bathroom." He steps around him, and speeds through the hallways.

Suho is left dumbfounded about what just happened. Right before he decides to follow him hears a voice from behind.

"Sieun-ah, wait!"

Oh.

Gyujin tries to walk past him too, to follow his son to wherever he is going, but Suho stops him by his shoulder.

"So, that's what we won't be doing."

Gyujin sends him a glare, shoving his hand off his shoulder.

"I don't know what you said to Sieun to have him in that state, but I won't allow you to follow him," Suho says, as he blocks his path.

Gyujin scoffs, "yah!"

Suho raises his brows, "yah?" a disbelieving smile on his lips.

"What do you expect from playing boyfriends with my son?" Gyujin puts his hands on his hips.

Suho crosses his arms, his biceps bulge in his t-shirt, "first of all, no one is playing boyfriends. Second, your son is an adult—something you seem to be forgetting—and treating him like some clueless kid at his workplace, is not only inappropriate, but also extremely unprofessional. He's an outstanding specialist in his field and well respected among his colleagues. You'd know that if you cared about him enough to ask."

Gyujin's jaw is slack.

"Now I will be going after Sieun, to make sure he's okay, and I expect you to leave him alone for today. My apologies, if I overstepped." Suho doesn't bow, but pats his shoulder once, before heading in Sieun's direction.

"Wait!" Suho pauses, and looks over his shoulder, "tell him I'm sorry." Gyujin's expression is apologetic.

"With all due respect, Gyujin-ssi, I don't think he should be hearing that from me."

Suho doesn't wait again, and starts searching for Sieun.

He eventually finds him on the rooftop, leaning on the parapet with his forearms, his mouth hidden behind his sleeves as he gazes blindly at the view.

"Sieun-ah…" Suho calls from behind.

He turns his head, bringing his red rimmed eyes to him, a color matching his hair in the most heartbreaking way possible, "hyung…"

He takes quick strides and gathers Sieun in his arms, letting him cry into his shoulder.

Sieun grips his shirt, as sobs wrack through him.

Sieun detaches himself once his sobs turn back into small sniffles, his voice hoarse, "sorry."

Suho cradles his cheek, wiping away the wetness from his face, under his nose too.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry he made you this upset," he says gently.

Sieun shakes his head, "I hate that you keep seeing this side of me, hyung." He tugs at Suho's wrist, to make him let go of his face.

He feels so overstimulated and embarrassed right now, Suho's hands make him feel worse. He can't deal with his kindness and patience, doesn't know how to deal with it. He takes a step back and faces the view again.

"Sieun-ah, I don't know what to say to that. But I need you to understand I never thought less of you because of this." He rakes a hand through his hair, "if anything, it showed me how strong you are, and how much I can still learn from you."

Sieun scoffs, but Suho continues.

"I want to help you. Please tell me how." Suho understands Sieun doesn't want to be touched at this moment, and as much as his fingers are twitching to hug him again, he respects the distance he created. Instead he leans on the barrier, facing the view too. Giving Sieun a break from his heavy gaze.

"There's nothing you can do. I don't know what I want or need. I'm just," he takes a deep breath, his fists clenching, "I'm just so sick of this—" his voice breaks, "I'm so tired."

"Alright, this is what we're doing," Suho turns, "I'm going to tell Park you don't feel good, he probably won't ask questions, but if he does I'll tell him you ate something bad."

Sieun turns his face to look at him, but doesn't interrupt.

"Then, we're going to drive around, maybe get some ice cream, or whatever you feel like having. Deal?"

Sieun nods slowly, "alright, that works. Deal."

"Wait inside the car for me," he tosses him his keys, "I'll be down in a minute."

He turns and jogs to the door.

They meet again in Suho's car, where Sieun is leaning against the window, with his knees up to his chest. He drops them once Suho's inside.

"Alright, what are you feeling, sweetheart?" Suho asks him, he raises his hand to stroke his hair but pulls it back when he remembers his reaction on the roof.

"Whatever you want hyung, I just want to leave this place." He doesn't look at him. He would've welcomed the hand now that his emotions have calmed down a little, but unfortunately he didn't see the hesitation.

"Famous last words," Suho replies, earning a startled look from Sieun.

"Huh?"

"Let's go!" Suho starts the car.

The last thing Sieun expected was sitting in a noraebang, the big square remote in his hand, and Suho singing the 1961 Man in the yellow shirt.

He also didn't expect himself to smile like this, barely an hour after the argument he had with his father, but he can't help it. Suho is singing his heart out, and it's so contagious.

Once it's done and Suho's breathing is starting to get heavy, he points at Sieun, "okay! Change of pace! Put on some Seo Taeji and the boys for me!"

Sieun does as asked, and Suho immediately takes his position. He starts doing the choreography extremely seriously, before he raps along.

He finishes with a dramatic ending pose, and Sieun can't help but clap for him.

"Okay, this will be the last one from me, then it's your turn! Time for DBSK! Sieun-ah, Mirotic!"

Sieun doesn't know this song, vaguely knows DBSK, so he's caught off guard with how sensual Suho starts moving—his expression still extremely focused, while singing words like I got you under my skin.

He's doing well though.

Sieun is looking at him through his fingers, half embarrassed, half in awe.

When he's done he tosses the mic at him, taking the remote.

"Alright, what song, Sieun-ah?" He says through heavy breaths, sweat lining his hairline.

"Uhm," Sieun thinks for a moment, "Lee Hi, Breathe."

Suho punches the number into the machine, and Sieun faces the screen—too embarrassed to look at Suho's reaction.

He wipes his palms on his jeans, when the intro starts and closes his eyes.

He starts singing softly, feeling each word echo in his chest.

Suho has gone completely quiet.

Right before the chorus, it feels like the entire world has gone quiet.

Sieun puts his entire chest into it when he sings again.

He sinks to a crouch when he gets to the bridge, wrapping an arm around himself as if he's comforting himself.

When he finishes singing the final verse in an almost whisper, and the screen blinks a bright 98!, do the tears escape him.

Suho scrambles to his side, his hands hovering, "Sieun-ah…" he says shakily.

Sieun turns, and tucks himself into his chest, both of them now on their knees.

He's once again sobbing, but this time he feels a little lighter.

Suho strokes a steady hand over his spine, "Wah, Sieun-ah," he sniffles too, "I didn't know you were such a good singer."

Sieun's cries halt a little, before he lifts his head, "hyung, are you crying?" He asks between hiccups, tears still lining his cheeks.

"No," a tear escapes his eye, "okay yes, that was really good, darling! I'm sorry, I wish I could help."

"You're—" sniffle, "hyungah, you're helping me. You are! Like this. In your own way. I don't need anything else." He tucks himself back into the safety of Suho's arms.

They cry together this time, Suho very quietly, just a few tears escaping his eyes, while Sieun is sniffling away into his shirt—no doubt leaving a dark, disgusting, spot behind on the fabric.

"Sieun-ah, should we get out of here?" Suho asks eventually.

"Mn."

This time Suho drives them to the shore they went to during their first date—technically it was their first date.

"One pistachio, and one butter pecan please," Sieun asks the worker kindly.

Suho looks at him with his hand over his chest, "Sieun-ah, you remembered?"

Sieun just snorts, "yeah, it was kind of hard to forget, old man."

Suho throws his head back, as if he got shot, "oh! You wound me!"

He pays for their ice creams, and they walk to the shore.

This time it's Suho who grabs Sieun's free hand, pulling him close.

They share licks of each other's cones—Sieun surprisingly enjoying the pecan—and eventually find a quiet spot to sit down. The sun is still pretty high in the sky, it's still early in the day since they left work around lunch time.

Before Sieun finishes his ice cream though, a ball appears out of nowhere, making him drop his cone on his jeans.

A kid comes running after it, "I'm so sorry!" He bows a full ninety degrees.

Sieun sighs, "it's okay, be more careful next time."

"Yes," he bows a few more times quickly, "I'm sorry again!" Before grabbing his ball and running off again.

"Sieun-ah, I have some of my training stuff in the trunk, wait here."

Before Sieun can protest, Suho is already jogging away.

It only takes him a few minutes though, he comes back with a pair of his MMA shorts in his hands.

"Here," he hands him the shorts, "there's a changing room over there," he says, as he points in the right direction.

Sieun gets up, holding the shorts in front of the ice cream stain, before leaving to change.

When he comes back, Suho almost folds over from fondness.

The shorts are too big, they almost cover his knees. They're black, and have 안수호 stitched in white into the waistband.

Sieun doesn't mind though, it's better than the soiled jeans he was wearing. Besides, they're comfortable.

He sits down next to Suho again, but as he does, the shorts ride up a little, exposing his thighs.

Particularly on Suho's side.

Suho's breath catches.

Black ink peeks out from under the hem, he can't see much but it looks like paint strokes.

Sieun has a tattoo?!

"Sieun-ah," Suho starts carefully, "what's that?"

Sieun turns his face to Suho, his eyes following a beat later, "what's what?"

Suho lowers his eyes to the ink, "that."

Sieun follows, "oh, this?"

Their eyes meet again, "yeah, that."

"Ah, I sometimes forget it's there, it's been a while since I got it." He shrugs, bringing his eyes back to the water.

"That's it?" Suho asks incredulously, "you're not gonna elaborate?!"

Sieun smirks, "do you want to see it?"

"Well yeah—" he shakes his head, "wait no. Not here, I might do something stupid."

This earns him a full belly laugh from Sieun, who almost falls backwards, "what do you mean, stupid?! Hyung! If I knew you were a sucker for tattoos, I would've shown you this the first night I was at your apartment!"

Suho blushes furiously, "have mercy on me, Sieun-ah! I'm just a simple man!"

Sieun grabs the fabric with his thumb and index fingers, teasing it upwards painfully slowly, the smirk never leaving his face.

Before the art starts showing properly, Suho grabs his hand to stop him, "please, I'm serious."

"Hyung," he laughs, "the tattoo I have here is huge. I don't mind showing you, but I wouldn't expose myself in public." He drops his hand again, chuckling under his breath.

Suho jumps to his feet, "wanna go back to mine?" He holds out his hand.

Sieun takes his hand, laughing at the sudden energy.

They make it back to Suho's apartment, and Suho immediately starts pacing in his living room. Sieun sits down on his couch calmly, still in Suho's shorts.

"Sieun-ah," he's biting his thumb, "you have a tattoo?"

Sieun simply nods, "I do."

"Since when?" His thumb is still between his teeth, his other hand on his hip. He's not pacing anymore, instead he's standing on the other side of the room against the wall, facing Sieun.

"Uhm," Sieun looks up for a second, "I got it right after my military service, so almost two years ago?" He looks back, still as calm as ever.

"Can I…" Suho starts but doesn't finish his sentence.

"Do you want to see it?" Sieun asks with a smirk.

He nods slowly, hesitantly, in reply.

Sieun stands up, and tugs the shorts off quickly, leaving him in his boxer briefs. Suho jolts at the movement.

When he tugs on his underwear too, does Suho start again, "wait! Just show me like this."

Sieun quirks an eyebrow but nods, "alright, but you can't see all of it like this."

Suho's breath stutters, "that's… th-that's fine."

He turns to the side and instead of taking his briefs off, just lifts the hem up instead. His thighs are flexed with the way he raises his knee a little, and turns his torso to show the tattoo.

It's a tiger, black line art and bold strokes, curving around his hip and upper thigh. It's hind legs and tail disappear into his underwear, the peek Suho got earlier was of his front claws.

Suho gasps, his hand flying to cover his mouth, "Sieun-ah, it's beautiful!" He says, muffled.

"Hmm, thanks. It's kind of whatever to me now." Sieun shrugs, letting go of the fabric and turning around to grab the shorts from the ground again.

By leaning down that, he gives the other a perfect view of his plump ass stretching the fabric. Suho becomes dizzy, and walks out, straight to his room.

Sieun looks over his shoulder, "… hyung?"

He hears the shower turn on, as he chuckles to himself. He flips the shorts over his shoulder and walks to the guest room, where he also takes a quick shower.

They're now sitting across from each other, both of their hair slightly damp still, with dinner in front of them. A simple bowl of rice and some banchan halmeoni had given Suho to take with him.

Sieun's leaning over the table with his elbows, lazily picking small bites with his chopsticks, his eyes not leaving Suho.

While Suho is laser focused on his food, his eyes not lifting once.

Sieun chuckles, "hyung."

"Hmm?" He's still not lifting his eyes.

"Look at me."

Suho closes his eyes, breathes deeply, then finally meets Sieun's gaze.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, totally, why wouldn't I be?" His cheeks and ears beg to differ.

"Hyung," Sieun's mouth curves downward as he tries to fight the way his smile widens, "it's just a tattoo."

Suho groans, "it is! I know that!" He runs a hand through his hair, making the still damp strands stay back, exposing his forehead, "but you must know what you look like under there," he says as he points his chopsticks down.

"I mean, I guess?" Sieun goes back to his food, "have you seen yourself, hyung? I thought you'd be a lot calmer about seeing skin."

"Skin with ink! I'm trying to be respectful!" Suho exclaims.

Sieun laughs, "I never asked you to be respectful!"

"Stop laughing at me, you punk!" Suho flicks a bean in his direction.

"Don't play with your food, hyung!" Sieun is still laughing at him.

"Alright, that's it!" Suho slams his chopsticks on the marble, and rounds the island they're eating at, caging Sieun—who was turning in his seat when he saw him approach—between his hands.

Instead of being intimidated, Sieun just snakes his arms over his shoulders and around his neck, "what are you gonna do, hyungah?" He coos.

Suho looks at him for a moment, his face serious. Sieun just smiles up at him sweetly, his eyelids low.

Suho puts his hands on the small of his back, his fingers splaying across his entire lower back, pulling him flush against himself, when he starts to lean down. Sieun's eyes flutter close, as he meets him halfway, now off his chair and on his tippy toes.

Their lips meet tentatively at first, but it doesn't take long for Sieun to pull at Suho's hair at the back of his head, making him gasp.

Sieun hums against Suho's lips as he's lifted onto the counter, his thighs tightening around Suho's hips to keep them pressed together. His tongue curls around Suho's impatiently, messily, even as his lips stretch into a helpless smile that he can't seem to stop.

Sieun's hand is still in his hair, now scratching at his scalp, while his other one is pressing into his neck, no doubt leaving marks.

Suho's hand slips inside his shorts, squeezing his thigh where the tattoo sits on the outside. His other hand is still holding Sieun steady on his back.

Sieun giggles when Suho starts trailing kisses to his jaw, and down his neck.

"God, Sieun-ah," Suho starts, between his kisses, his breathing heavy, "you drive me crazy."

Sieun grabs his face, lifts it back up, and looks at his disheveled state for a second, "me too, hyungah."

He kisses him again, short and sweet, then again, and again, and again.

And then they don't separate. They both feel the heat pool downward, when Suho lifts him easily by his thighs, still not breaking their kiss.

He starts carrying Sieun like that to his bedroom.

When a loud, obnoxious, ringing snaps the tension.

Suho groans, as he drops his head on Sieun's shoulder, "I never get guests, whose timing is this bad?!"

Sieun just giggles again, "I think you should get that." He gives him a kiss on the cheek, before resting his head on his shoulder, his nose warm against his racing pulse.

Instead of putting Sieun back on his feet, Suho just walks over to the screen by his door while still holding him up like a koala, to check who has the audacity to visit him while he's occupied.

The screen blinks on, "how did he get my address?" He mutters absentmindedly.

Sieun first looks at Suho, who is now clenching his jaw, tongue in his cheek, before he turns around and looks at the screen, where a sheepish looking Gyujin is looking back.

Suho presses the microphone button, "what do you want?"

"Oh! I was worried about Sieun so I was wondering if he was with you?"

Suho looks at Sieun in his arms, who now quirks an eyebrow at him, "I'm more than just with you."

He presses the microphone again, "he is. You could've called me, though. Showing up to my house uninvited is not appropriate, Gyujin-ssi."

Gyujin scratches his head, "I-I did call you, and Sieun, but no one picked up so I came to check myself. C-can I see him?"

Suho looks at Sieun again, who shrugs, then unhooks his feet and slowly lands on the floor with the help of Suho's gentle hands.

Suho sighs and looks down, Sieun looks in the same direction, face flushed, mouth going flatteringly slack at the view.

It does not last long, Sieun might still be blushing, but his eyebrows rise, his head cocks to the side with a sharp gaze, like it’s doing some rapid math. Suho’s hand dives to grab his wrist before someone shoves hands into trousers they shouldn’t go into.

Yet.

"Sieun-ah, no!" He groans, "fuck, I need another cold shower," Suho says, not letting go of Sieun.

Sieun laughs, "don't worry about it, just let him in. He'll probably be embarrassed and leave quickly."

"Are you sure? You were really upset earlier." Suho looks at him with concern, as Gyujin's voice still travels through the screen going Hello?

"I promise, I'm okay now. Thank you, hyungah," Sieun replies, as he smiles up cutely.

Suho pulls him in by the wrist he's still holding, and pecks his lips once, before pressing the mic again, "it's the penthouse." Then presses the unlock button.

They're sitting across from each other, Gyujin on one side, with a glass of water Suho handed him, and the other two on the other side, both wearing matching flushed expressions, red lips and slightly disheveled hair.

"I'm sorry for coming unannounced, I hope I didn't interrupt anything…?" He says hesitantly.

Suho clasps his hands together, and smiles tight-lipped, "let's not get into that. Why are you here?"

Sieun reaches over to fix Suho's collar, his own also completely sideways with the way Suho was kissing him earlier.

Suho shoots him a real smile as a thank you, and Sieun looks back at him warmly.

Gyujin just stares at them exchanging looks, before he rubs a hand over his face, "Sieun-ah, I'm sorry."

Sieun freezes, then slowly turns his face to his father, as if he can't believe what he just heard, "huh?"

"I'm sorry, Sieun-ah," he moves his hand over, but Sieun pulls his hand away from his reach, "you were right, I was a bad father."

Suho quirks an eyebrow, "was?"

Gyujin breathes deeply through his nose, "fine. I am a bad father, have been a bad father. I'm sorry, Sieun-ah, I'm really sorry."

Sieun just looks at him with wide eyes, "oh."

"I would like to try again," Gyujin looks between the two, "if you'll let me."

Sieun brings his eyes to Suho, who's already looking at him encouragingly, then looks back "uhm, I don't know… I need some time, abeoji."

Suho reaches over to hold his hand, this time Sieun squeezes back.

"Any chance of you coming back home with me today?" Gyujin asks uselessly.

Sieun shakes his head, "I don't want to, not today." He searches for Suho's reaction.

Suho, who looks at him so patiently, "you can, if you want to, darling. I can take you."

"Sieun-ah, are you asking him for perm—" Gyujin starts, his expression bordering angry.

But Sieun interrupts him, "I'm not asking for permission, I don't need that from him." He looks Suho into his eyes, smiles small, "I'm looking for encouragement."

Suho smiles back, "whatever you want, I'm here."

"Okay," Sieun breathes, "I don't want to go back. Not now. Not today. I need time to think, so I'll be back tomorrow, abeoji."

Gyujin knocks the marble twice with his knuckles before standing up, "alright, I'll be home this time, adeul."

Sieun nods, as Suho walks Gyujin to the door.

Before he leaves, he gives Suho a look, "don't hurt my boy, please."

Suho just smiles easily, "you don't have to tell me that. Goodnight, Gyujin-ssi."

"Goodnight, Suho-nim." With that he turns and leaves.

When Suho walks back into the kitchen, he's met with Sieun bent over the marble island, his face tucked into his forearms and his shoulders shaking. Violently. As his voice is reaching his ears hoarsely.

"Oh, sweetheart…" Suho says, more to himself, as he goes over and sits down next to him. He strokes a palm over his spine.

Sieun turns and sits in Suho's lap, his legs once again tight around his middle, his face tucked into his neck, but the feelings the movement stirs this time are much different than just a few moments ago when he did this.

"Hyung," sniffle, "how can he just walk in and say that?" sniffle, "a-after everything?"

"I don't know, but he seemed sincere," Suho replies quietly.

"I know! That makes it worse. Wouldn't it be a betrayal to myself, to everything I went through, if I just forgave him like that?" He asks sincerely.

Suho sighs, as he keeps stroking his back, "you don't have to forgive him, at least not immediately. You could just give him a chance to prove himself, figure it out as you go? You owe yourself healing too."

"I guess," Sieun just slumps against Suho, letting his weight be held by him, "hyung, I'm tired, can we go sleep?"

"Of course, baby," he replies, as he lifts him up similarly to earlier. Only this time Sieun is leaning his cheek against his neck, his eyes drooping as they go.

Suho tucks him into his own bed, and turns off all the lights. Sieun's already fast asleep by then.

It's still a bit early, so Suho leaves to clean up the kitchen, before climbing back into his bed.

Sieun curls into him, "hyungah, where did you go?" He asks, his voice thick with sleep.

"I'm sorry, darling, I went to clean up. I thought you were sleeping," he replies quietly, while he pulls him closer.

"It's okay," he nuzzles into his chest, breathing in deeply, he smacks his lips a few times, "let's go to sleep."

A kiss lands into his strawberry hair, "alright. Goodnight, Sieun-ah."

"Goodnight, hyungah. I love you."

Suho freezes.

IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou

But Sieun is already softly snoring into his chest.

He kisses his head again, "I think I love you too, sweetheart," he whispers into the dark room.

When Sieun wakes up in the early morning, he feels a throb behind his eyes. He's still engulfed in Suho's arms.

"Ugh, hyung," he croaks out, he needs some medicine. Now.

"Oh, Sieun-ah, you're awake? It's still early," Suho asks, he sounds alert, as if he's been up for a while.

"Fuck— my head is splitting in two," he squeezes his eyes shut, bringing the heels of his palms to them.

Suho immediately brings his hands to his face, tilting it up to him, while feeling his temperature, "what do you need?"

"Painkillers, and darkness," he doesn't move, still pressing his hands to his eyes as hard as he can.

"Okay," he kisses his head, "I'll be right back."

He really doesn't take long before he's back with some water, a sleeping mask, and medicine.

As he helps him sit up and hands him the water, he asks him, "are you calling in sick?"

Sieun shakes his head as he swallows the pills, "what time is it?"

Suho checks his nightstand, "five."

"Okay, I'll sleep two more hours. If the headache doesn't lessen, then I'll call in sick. Otherwise I'm going, I promised Gotak to be there today," he says, still logical despite his pain.

Suho has learned to trust Sieun's word, "alright, go back to sleep, I'll wake you up at seven."

"You're not going back to sleep?" Sieun asks him, one eye squeezed shut as he looks at him.

"I will, I just need to quickly do something. Sleep, Sieun-ah, I'll be right there." He gives his head a pat, before he tucks him back in.

After his nap, his headache has lessened. It's not entirely gone, but it's significantly better.

"Hyung?" He calls out, seeing how Suho's not in the room with him.

Suho walks in quickly, "you're awake! You have another thirty minutes, how do you feel?"

Sieun ignores all his questions, "you didn't go back to sleep?"

Suho rubs the back of his neck, "I got occupied, I'm okay though. What about you? How do you feel?" He repeats.

"The headache is much better, so I'll just go to work. I don't like that you didn't go back to sleep though, hyung." He pouts, "is it because of me?"

Suho shakes his head as he closes their distance, he sits down next to him on the bed and grabs his hand, "no, baby, I promise you, I'm okay. Come have breakfast with me."

They have a quiet breakfast together. Sieun keeps stealing glances at Suho, while Suho acts as if he doesn't notice.

They clean up together, and get ready to start their day.

Suho drops Sieun off at Baku's office, telling him he'll come check on Gotak later. He leaves after giving him a kiss on the forehead.

When Gotak comes in for his appointment, Sieun is slightly taken aback by the gaunt look he's sporting. It's not bad, he just looks like he's been sick for a week straight—which Sieun knows isn't the case.

"Gotak-ssi, are you okay?" He asks hesitantly.

"I'm okay, Sieun-ssi. But I've been up all night, my knee is hurting really badly today," he says, tired.

"I see, I'm sorry to hear that. You can lay down here," Sieun wears his gloves, and grabs a tube of NSAID gel, spreads it over his palms, "you've been using this on yourself too consistently, right?" He asks before he reaches over to start massaging his knee.

"Yeah, I might've missed it once or twice, but I did use it this morning," he replies as his eyes close, a frown on his face from the pain he's feeling now that Sieun's pressing down on it.

Gotak's wearing shorts that go down to half his thighs, for easy access. Sieun does his work well, he also takes it very seriously.

He's just a little unlucky.

Suho knocks once on the door, before walking in—knowing it's Gotak on the bed.

What he sees, makes him freeze in his place.

Sieun is now massaging Gotak's stiff muscles in his thighs, while Gotak's saying things like, "yeah, that feels really good."

Sieun turns his head to the frozen Suho, "oh, hyung, you can sit down in the chair over there. He's almost done."

He turns back, as he finishes up, "Gotak-ssi, we're not expecting anyone until an hour later, so you're welcome to take a nap here if you like. I know this session took a lot out of you."

Gotak smiles at him tiredly, "thank you, Sieun-ssi, that's very kind."

Sieun tosses his gloves, and brings over a thin blanket to cover Gotak in, who's already out like a light.

Suho however hasn't said a word since he entered the room.

"Hyung, would you like to stay here with him, or get a coffee with me?" Sieun's standing by the door, waiting patiently for Suho to decide.

Suho looks at him for a moment, then down at Gotak, back at Sieun's sweet gaze. His words from the previous night turning in his head.

He gets up decisively and follows Sieun out.

When they get their coffees from the machine, and head to the rooftop to drink it, does Sieun turn to Suho, "are you okay?"

Suho freezes mid-sip, before slowly bringing his cup down again, "yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Sieun shrugs, "I don't know, you've been very quiet. Do you want to talk about it?"

He sighs, his shoulders slumping, head falling down, "this is so embarrassing."

Sieun smiles, "I'm sure it's not...?"

"I feel like a stupid teenager," he drags a hand through his hair, "I haven't felt this way in years, Sieun-ah. Years!"

Sieun continues to smile, a little unsure now, "what do you mean?"

"It's just—" he can't look at him, "when I walked in on you and Gotak, doing your work, it just made me so irrationally angry." He groans at the confession.

"Wait, hyung," Sieun's eyes widen at the realization, "are you jealous?"

Suho just grunts and looks away, his ears blazing.

A breathy laugh escapes Sieun, "you're jealous! Oh my God!" He throws his head back, "Hyung!"

Sieun starts pulling at his arm, "hyungah! Look at me, please!"

Suho turns slowly, his jaw clenched, eyes narrow, "I didn't like seeing that, at all."

Sieun puts his coffee down on top of the short wall, and closes their distance, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Hyung, you have nothing to be jealous about, I only have eyes for you," he tilts his head innocently, "surely by now, you know this."

Suho puts his cup down too, before pushing Sieun against the wall a little harshly, his hands on his waist.

"Gotak is a lot younger than me, objectively good looking too…"

"Hmm, is that so? I hadn't noticed," he replies easily, enjoying the force Suho is showing.

The wind tousles Sieun's strawberry hair, his small smile, warm unwavering eyes, lightly dusted cheeks, all driving Suho insane.

Suho brings his hand up to his cheek, "Sieun-ah, you're so beautiful. You're wasted on an old man like me." His thumb rubs slow circles on the apple of his cheek.

Sieun's smile dims, but his eyes somehow become warmer, "hyung, you're not forcing me to be here. I'm not here because you're some old lonely bachelor who needs a companion," he brings his own hand down to Suho's on his cheek, "I'm here because I want to be, because I like you." Then he slaps his shoulder lightly, "also! You're not that old, calm down."

"I am kind of old," he's undeterred to Sieun's attack, he holds his wrist and brings it up to his lips, pressing a kiss on the inside softly, "but thank you for saying that. For choosing me, I like you too, Sieun-ah."

"Well, then, what are you waiting for, hyung?" Sieun smiles again, a little more mischief behind it this time.

Suho breathes a laugh, before dropping his head and catching Sieun's lips with his own.

Sieun's hand finds his hair again, pulling at the strands softly. He bites his lower lip, slipping his tongue in once Suho opens his mouth.

Suho's hands roam the entirety of Sieun's sides then slide around, pulling him closer after his hands cover his lower back.

Sieun's on his toes, trying to rediscover the warmth inside Suho's mouth, when his watch beeps.

They groan against each other's lips, before parting just a centimeter, their breaths still mingling. Sieun is still on his toes as he brings his watch to his eyes.

"I have to wake up Gotak in ten minutes," he says against his lips.

Suho smiles, before pecking him a few times, "better go do that then."

Sieun gives him a long lingering kiss back, before pouting, "you're coming with?" He doesn't loosen his arms around his neck, Suho holds him just as close by his back.

"Yeah, I might have to drive Gotak home, he really wasn't feeling good." He pecks his pout again.

"Alright, but you'll be back, right? For me?"

"Of course, baby. That's not even a question." He smiles down at him, now finally sliding his hands back down to his waist, creating a little bit distance between their bodies.

Sieun immediately misses his warmth though, and presses himself flush against him again, "don't wanna go yet."

"Sieun-ah, someone will walk in on Gotak sleeping, we have to go get him," he replies, knocking his forehead on Sieun's.

"Fine." He lets go completely, before entwining his hand with Suho's as he pulls him back inside.

Their coffees forgotten on the ledge.

Suho eventually takes Gotak home, while Sieun gets back to work.

Time goes by fast, faster than Sieun would like. Now he's in the parking lot waiting for Suho to take him to his father's apartment.

His tense shoulders relax just a bit, when he sees the black Audi come into view.

"Hyung," he says, as Suho steps out, "you came."

"Of course, did you wait long?" Suho asks, as he takes his bag from him.

Sieun shakes his head, and sits in the passenger seat.

"I'm so scared," Sieun says, once Suho's back in the car.

"I'll wait for you downstairs if you'd like?" Suho's patient eyes find his own.

"I can't ask that of you, who knows how long you'll be waiting," Sieun replies startled, his eyes already full of tears.

"You're not asking, I'm offering. I don't mind, I have my laptop in my bag, I can work or something." Suho shrugs easily, as he finally starts the ignition, "unless you're spending the night home, and want me to leave, of course."

"No, I don't think I'll spend the night. I just want to talk to him, and then go home with you, if that's okay?" Sieun's hand tentatively reaches over the center console, Suho closes the distance with his own hand, molding their hands together.

"Of course that's okay, darling, that shouldn't even be a question." He smiles at him sideways, as he brings his eyes back to the road.

"Alright, then if you don't mind waiting. I'd invite you inside, but I don't think my father would appreciate that," he says with a pout.

"I know, that's why I said I'd wait downstairs," he squeezes his hand affectionately.

"I'm sorry, hyungah."

"What for?" He brings his hand up to his lips, not really kissing it, just holding it there.

"That you have to deal with this," he gestures his free hand in the air mindlessly, "with me."

"I'm not dealing with anything, Sieunie, this is not a chore for me. Remember what you told me on the rooftop? You chose me, well I choose you too, all the time. It's the easiest choice I'll make."

"Thank you, hyung. That really tickles, by the way," he says, his voice airy.

Suho smiles, Sieun feels the curve against the skin on the back of his hand, "what, this?" He puts his lips more firmly against his hand and blows a loud raspberry.

"Hyung! What's wrong with you?!" Sieun shrieks, a disbelieving smile on his lips.

The sound of Suho's laughter fills the car, shaking Sieun in his core. I really love this man, huh?

Suho looks over at the way he's suddenly quiet, and is met with a gaze so full of emotions, he's not sure what to do, "Sieun-ah, if you look at me like that, I might have to turn the car around and go to my place instead."

"You can," he replies, his eyes not moving, but his smile widening.

"We both know that's a bad idea," Suho chuckles.

Before Sieun can reply, his father's apartment complex is already coming into view.

"Well, here goes nothing, I guess," he says, as Suho starts parking the car.

"Are you ready, Sieun-ah?" Suho asks, as he squeezes his hand again.

"No," he sighs, "but I'd rather get it over with quickly."

He untangles his hand from Suho's, leans over to give him a kiss on the cheek, and leaves with a quick, "thank you, hyung."

"I'm home," he calls out as soon as he opens the door.

The apartment is lit up.

"Ah, adeul, you're here. Come, sit." Gyujin gestures for him to join him on the couch. He brings him a glass of water too.

"Did you come with Suho?" He asks carefully, as he sits in the single-seater at his side.

Sieun nods as he takes a sip, "I did. I also wanted to let you know that I'm only here to talk, I don't want to spend the night."

"That's," he stutters, takes a deep breath, "that's fine, adeul, whatever you want."

"So, what made you suddenly apologize?" Sieun crosses his arms, his voice flat, his face stiff.

"After speaking to you, and Suho, it finally clicked how bad of a father I've been to you. I reflected on my own childhood, and my parents were always there. I never lacked anything, and I realized I hadn't given you the same." Gyujin's shoulders sag.

"Wait, you spoke to Suho?" When? Suho hadn't told him.

"Briefly, after you left yesterday. He stopped me from following you. He didn't say much, but he was right. I had no idea how well you were doing in your internship, and I should've known, I should've asked you, or checked with Baku. Instead I was so focused on your r-relationship with Suho, I forgot to care about you."

"Abeoji, you've never shown me care before, not when I got bullied and drugged in high school, not when I did my military service, not when I got into SNU, and now again when I got this internship. It wasn't a surprise to me that you didn't know about how I was doing—if anything, I expected it." Sieun's tone stays matter-of-factly, "it surprised me how involved you started getting when Suho entered the picture. Sure, I expected you to be annoyed, but not to this degree. You overstepped a lot."

"That's the crux of it all, isn't it? Why does it feel like overstepping, when I'm just getting involved in my son's life? It really was a wake up call for me." His eyes lift to Sieun, his gaze so painfully sincere, "I'm so sorry I was never a father to you. I'm so sorry you were so lonely all your life. I want to make an effort, genuinely, and fix this between us."

"Thank you, abeoji. It's going to take a while for me to forgive you, but I will give you a chance. I will not shut you out," he replies, and he finds that he means it.

"Thank you, adeul! I'm so glad—"

"That's not all, though. You understand it was not okay to introduce your neglected son to a new girlfriend, who's younger than him, right?" Sieun's eyes narrow, his tone reprimanding.

Gyujin stiffens a little, "Sieun-ah, Suho is older than me…"

"Well, yes, but Suho has no kids, let alone ones he's been neglecting. So he didn't bring anyone home that trumped his kid's place in his life." Sieun's arms stay crossed, a little disappointed that his father didn't understand what he meant.

"When you put it like that…" he rubs a hand down his face, "Wah, that really is so awful of me. That you believed Naeun could ever mean more to me than you do."

"She is around my age, and you spent more time with her—willingly—in the short few weeks you were together, than you have with me in my entire life. It's almost surprising to me that you are shocked I see it that way."

Gyujin opens his mouth but Sieun is not done, "that brings me to my next point. Abeoji, I would also appreciate it if you stop speaking to me like I'm still that sickly child. I'm an adult, and I can make my own choices, please respect that—and respect me. You had me when you were still a kid, so it might be difficult to accept because you're still quite young, but I'm an adult."

"You're right," he scoots forward, "you're right, and I'll do my best. I promise."

"Alright, I think that's all from me for now," he thinks back to Suho the day before, "oh, one more thing. I have a tattoo. A big one," he points to his thigh, "right here."

"What?!" Gyujin stands up suddenly, "since when?! Does Suho know?"

"Right after I finished my service, I was so upset with you. But I thought, since we're all laying it bare, might as well tell you now," he shrugs, "and Suho knows, yes, but let's leave it at that."

"Okay," he wipes both hands over his face aggressively, "okay! That's fine! Good for you! I like your hair, I guess it goes with the tattoo?"

"Thank you, I dyed my hair to get a reaction out of you, but it never came. I'm glad you're mentioning it now, though."

"I see. I thought you were going through a phase, so I let you be. But I guess that was always my problem, I'm sorry for that too," he holds out his hand awkwardly.

Sieun gets up, "it might've been a phase, honestly, but I do like it now, so I might keep it, we'll see." He holds his father's hand, but doesn't shake it, "thank you for this, abeoji. We'll take it one step at a time."

His father smiles at him awkwardly, Sieun rolls his eyes and pulls him closer. Wrapping his arms around his torso, "I'm serious, appa, thank you for trying now, it might be late but," his voice is a lot quieter now, "all I ever wanted was for you to see me." His eyes are misty, and he hears his father swallow, before wrapping his own arms around Sieun.

They stand like that for a minute, before Sieun lets go, he thumbs his eyes, "well, I can't keep Suho waiting."

"Suho's here?" His father asks, his wide eyes similarly wet.

"He never left," he replies simply, "I'll be back."

"Alright, goodnight Sieun-ah." He waves.

"Goodnight, appa." Sieun waves back before hurrying out of the door.

Suho steps out of the car, when he sees him leave the apartment and head downstairs.

He leans against the car waiting for Sieun to come.

Once he opens the door and sees Suho waiting for him, his steps stutter.

"Suho-yah," his lip wobbles.

"Come here, sweetheart," he opens his arms.

His walk turns into a jog, into a run, as he crashes into his chest, arms tightly wound around his torso.

His shoulders shake, as all the feelings he kept at bay inside the apartment rush through him.

Suho sees Gyujin turn away from the window right as he looks up.

"Sieun-ah, how did it go?" He asks quietly.

Sieun sniffles, "it went okay, we're gonna try. It was… nice."

"That's good!" He cradles his face with both hands to look at him, "I'm so proud of you for trying, my love!"

He doesn't even realize that the words slip, not until Sieun's eyes widen, and his jaw falls slack.

"Oh—"

Sieun's already pressing his lips up on his own, like he's trying to ground himself.

When he falls flat on his feet again, he whispers, "I love you too, hyung."

Suho's face drops on his own, their foreheads touching, Sieun scrunches his nose at the way Suho's breath tickles him, "my love, you might not remember, but we have already said those words to each other." He grins sheepishly.

Sieun shoots backwards, his eyes searching Suho's face for lies, "we have?! There's no way! I wouldn't forget something like that!"

"Yeah," he rubs the back of his neck, "last night right before you went to sleep."

"Wait wait wait…" Sieun completely detaches from Suho, who shoots out a hand to chase his warmth, "hyung, what?!" He dodges his hand, "is that why you didn't go back to sleep?! No—"

He turns his back now to Suho, runs a hand through his strawberry strands, before turning back, "did you even go to sleep at all?!"

Suho reaches out again, his arm crossing the space Sieun created, pulling him back against his chest, "I told you then, and I'm telling you now, I'm fine. I just couldn't believe you said that. You felt so safe, so comfortable, I wasn't sure if I deserved all of that from you."

"Hyungah…" Sieun pulls his head down into his neck, gives it a light slap on the back, "I can't believe you didn't tell me. I can't believe I confessed to you and forgot?!"

"Sieun-ah." Suho doesn't lift his face from Sieun's neck, only wraps his arms tighter around his waist.

"Hmm?"

"Yeon Sieun."

"Yes, hyung?" Sieun chuckles.

"I love you."

Sieun hums, "hyung."

"Yes?"

"Hyungah."

Suho just laughs in reply, understanding what he's getting at.

"Suho-yah."

"Say that again," he lifts his face to look at Sieun call him by his name.

Sieun smiles, "Suho-yah," Suho's smile widens, "I love you too."

Suho kisses him firmly once, then, "my love, we should leave, we're giving the entire apartment complex a show right now."

Sieun's eyes widen, "right, let's go!" He all but runs to the passenger side of the car and plops down.

"Hyung, this is not the way to your place?" Sieun looks at him curiously.

"It's not," he glances at him once, "you haven't had dinner, so I'm taking you out on a date."

He takes him to a nice Japanese restaurant.

Suho starts, as they enjoy their meal, "Sieun-ah, I was so out of it because of last night, I never got to ask you—what made you get that tattoo?"

"Oh," Sieun smiles small, "after I came home after the military, I was so upset with my father, that I just wanted to do something—I don't know—rebellious? It sounds childish now. But I was so upset, so I thought a tattoo would be good, just for myself. No one needed to know, I just knew that I did that for myself, by myself. It was like proof that I was my own person, and not my dad's son? If that makes sense?"

"Hmm, I see. Why the big tiger?" He asks, as he stuffs his face with more food.

"I wanted it to be something big enough to feel significant. And tigers are cool, they stand for strength and protection," he shrugs, "it was impulsive though, so it doesn't mean much beyond that."

"It seems pretty meaningful to me. I think it's very cool, Sieun-ah," he replies, "also you look really hot."

"Hyung," Sieun has a glint in his eyes, "you think I'm hot?"

Caught off guard, Suho lets out a loud laugh, "yah! Are you mocking me?!"

"Do you not think so?" Sieun leans his cheek on his palm, a mocking pout on his lips.

"I do! Of course I do, do you not see what you do to me all the time?!" Suho replies, exasperated beyond reason.

"I wouldn't know, I'm usually the one initiating. Maybe you're just humoring this cute little dongsaeng of yours," Sieun doesn't stop his teasing.

"Please, please never say that again, Sieun-ah. I will have to drop you off at Gyujin's if you call yourself my dongsaeng." He runs a hand through his hair, "my love, not another word."

Finally Sieun laughs, showing mercy, "hyung, you're so easy to tease!"

"Spare this old man's heart, please, Sieun-ah," he says as he crosses both hands over his chest.

The day after at the gym, Sieun decides to pay Suho a visit while he's training. Gotak is still taking a break, so Suho's taking this chance to do his own thing.

He grabs a coffee and walks into the room he's in.

Except.

The room is full.

Full of a bunch of big, sweaty, shirtless men, grunting and groaning over machinery and boxing bags.

Suho, similarly, has headphones on as he's punching away at a bag of his own. Sweat trickling down every plane of naked skin. His hair soaking wet. His eyes are sharp and focused, jaw clenched, fists loud with every strike.

Sieun's mouth is parched.

Before he makes it to him however, he hears a voice from behind.

"If it isn't Yeon Sieun! What is a pretty boy like you doing here?"

Sieun turns around and is met with Seongje's gummy smile. Also shirtless, clearly training hard too with the way his skin is flushed.

"Geum Seongje, shouldn't you be in my mother's lap?" He asks, his face cold.

"Hyunjoo noona? No, no. We broke up a while ago." He waves a hand in the air, "I don't have anything against family members of exes though." He winks.

Before he can reject him, he feels an arm around his shoulders.

A very heavy, sweaty, arm.

"Is there a problem here, sweetheart?" Suho asks, his sharp eyes aimed at Seongje this time.

"Yahhh, Sieun-ah, I'm impressed! Noona did mention an older boyfriend, but I didn't expect it to be the Ahn Suho!" He claps exaggeratedly.

"What do you want, Seongje?" Suho asks through gritted teeth.

"I wanted his number, but I'm man enough to admit I can't fight you. Are you interested in a third?" His smile widens.

Sieun puts his hand over Suho's chest, "hyung, remember the dinner I had with my mother?"

Suho's eyes widen, "no way Seongje is her younger boyfriend?!"

Seongje intervenes with a finger, "ex-boyfriend," he corrects, "what about my question?"

Suho tries to hold back but a laugh stutters out of his lips, "you can't be serious."

Before Seongje can reply, someone else joins their conversation.

"Hyung!"

Suho's face goes strict, "yah, I told you to stay home, what are you doing here?"

Gotak sighs, "you know I hate sitting at home, let me carry your water bottle or something?"

"Oh, who's this pretty boy?" Seongje looks Gotak up and down, like a predator assessing his prey, "the name's Geum Seongje, are you single or do you also have a much older, much scarier boyfriend?"

Gotak frowns, "boyfriend?" His eyes widen, "hyung! Did you finally confess to Sieun-ssi?"

"Yah! I told you to keep that to yourself!" Suho squawks, throwing his towel at his face.

Gotak turns to Seongje, "I am single. But, I'm not interested in dogs that bark in every direction." He turns to leave to the changing room.

Seongje trails after him, "I'll only bark in your direction, pretty. I'll make it worth your time, just one chance!"

After Gotak changes and comes back, still with a pathetic Seongje following him, Suho and him do some light exercises, while Sieun sits on the side. Suho decides to call it a day pretty quickly though, unwilling to let Gotak's knee get any worse and let Sieun wait longer than necessary.

The four of them leave together, after quickly washing up.

Seongje slings an arm around Sieun's shoulders, but Suho pushes him off before he can react.

"Okay, sorry! I was almost his stepdad, let me be affectionate to my almost-stepson!"

"Fuck off, Seongje!" Suho says, pulling Sieun to his other side—away from him.

Seongje and Gotak go in one direction, while Sieun and Suho go in the other.

They meet Gyujin though, who saw the whole thing.

"Adeul, Suho-ssi, do you know that guy?" He asks curiously.

Sieun just shrugs, "yeah, I met him when I went to dinner with mother. He came as her date."

"Her date?" His eyes widen.

"Yeah, but I don't think they lasted long," he replies, absentmindedly. "That reminds me though," he turns to Suho, "hyung, you should probably join me for dinner with mother tomorrow. The last time didn't go so well…"

Suho nods easily, "your wish is my command."

Sieun just huffs a stupid under his breath.

Gyujin looks between the two, suddenly feeling a little out of place.

"Appa, we'll be leaving now. Are we still on for dinner Friday?" Sieun asks before saying goodbye.

"Yes, of course," Gyujin replies, as he smiles sincerely, albeit a little awkward.

"Okay, I'll be home tomorrow night, appa," he waves, "see you then."

Gyujin waves back, and the two of them head home.

They have a simple dinner together at home that Suho quickly whips up.

He groans under his breath just as he starts doing the dishes.

"Hyung," Sieun pushes him away from the sink.

"Yes, Sieun-ah? What's up?" Suho asks, a little startled at what's happening.

"Go take a shower, and lay down, I'll do the dishes," he replies with finality.

"I'm not sleepy though?" Suho looks at him confused.

"I'm not telling you to go to sleep, I'm telling you to lay down. Can you do that? For me?" Sieun says as he rests a hand on his jaw, his voice kind.

"Yeah, okay. Your wish is my command, darling." He pecks his forehead, before doing as told.

Sieun makes quick work of the dishes, before rummaging through Suho's medicine cabinet. He finds a half-used tube of Voltaren.

When he knocks on Suho's door, he hears a soft, "come in!"

Suho is sitting on his bed, rubbing a towel over his wet hair. He's wearing a t-shirt, and some basketball shorts.

"Give it to me, I'll do it," he says, as he places the NSAID gel on the nightstand. Suho gives him the towel.

Sieun kneels behind him on the bed, and helps him dry his hair, he takes his time and is thorough with it.

"Thank you, Sieun-ah, why are you suddenly doing all this for me?" He asks, a sweet, but tired smile on his lips.

"All this? Hyung, I barely did anything," he replies while frowning.

"I don't like making you do things around the house," Suho pouts as he says this, "want to take care of you all the time."

Sieun hums, "I see, but let me take care of you too sometimes, please."

"Yeah, okay," he closes his eyes, feeling Sieun's hands in his hair, "this is really nice."

Sieun laughs, "hyung, I haven't even started yet." He nods to himself when he deems the hair dry enough, and stands in front of him.

"Oh, now I have to go rest? Is that it?" Suho asks, still a little confused at Sieun's intentions. He was feeling really sleepy once Sieun started drying his hair.

"Not exactly," Sieun quirks an eyebrow, a crooked smile on his lips, "take off your shirt."

Suho chokes, "wh-what?!"

"Take off your shirt," he moves to the nightstand and grabs the gel, "and lay on your stomach."

Suho looks at him, then the tube in his hands, and feels a light bulb flicker on in his head, "oh! Okay, gotcha!" He pulls his shirt over his head with one arm, and throws it to the side, before he lays down.

Sieun spreads the gel on his hands, "hyung, normally for clients I wear gloves, I hope you don't mind?"

Suho shakes his head against the pillow, "I'm totally fine with whatever, Sieun-ah."

"It might be a little cold," Sieun says as he places his hands on his shoulder. Suho winces a little when he does. "You okay?"

"Yes, yes! Don't stop!"

It doesn't take long for Suho to melt like a puddle though, Sieun's hands work expertly over every muscle, loosening all the knots with ease. His fingers gentle, but firm.

Suho sighs under him.

Sieun takes his time, he moves to his arms, hands, neck, shoulders, sides, all the way to his lower back.

When Suho occasionally gets a peek at his face, all he sees is dedicated focus. There's not an ounce of hesitation.

He falls in love a little bit more in this moment.

"Okay," Sieun gives him a last rub, "I'm done, I'll go wash my hands, and be right back."

"Hmm," Suho wants to get up, but he's so comfortable right now, "hurry back, I'm about to fall asleep."

Sieun hurries as told, and gets under the covers while tucking him against his own side. Suho pulls him even closer by his waist, nuzzling into his chest.

"Darling, thank you, that was amazing." He plants his lips over his shirt, right on top of his heart.

"It was nothing hyung, I just wanted to take care of you," he replies.

"Sieun-ah," Suho lifts his own scarred hand, his voice barely a whisper, "these hands—my hands, they were meant to hurt. I don't know if I'll ever be forgiven for that." He holds Sieun's, "but yours," he's so gentle, "yours were meant for healing. For helping people. Sieun-ah," he looks up at him, "your hands—you are so special. I hope you know that."

"Hyung," Sieun's voice is suddenly thick with unshed tears, "don't say that. I don't know about others, but I've never been held as gently by anyone, like I have been by you. Your hands are not meant to hurt. They're meant to keep safe, to protect. Please don't speak about yourself in that way."

"Hmm, I'm sorry," Suho replies sleepily, "it's hard to believe, when I've been fighting all my life. But thank you for saying that."

"I'm serious," Sieun brings his hand to his lips, "I'm so grateful for these hands, and for you."

"I'm grateful for you too, Sieun-ah," Suho's eyes are closing at this point.

Sieun threads a hand through his hair, finally massaging his scalp too, "go to sleep, hyung."

He hums, the sound echoing in Sieun's chest, "good night, Sieun-ah."

Sieun's fingers don't stop moving, "good night, hyungah."

The evening after they find themselves sitting in another expensive restaurant, one with low lights and soft classic music playing in the background.

Sieun and Suho are a little early so they're already seated without Hyunjoo.

Suho holds Sieun's hand under the table, "it'll be fine, my love, don't worry."

He looks dashing. He has his hair styled perfectly, away from his face, a pair of rimless glasses, a clean white button up, in a pair of nice black trousers. His clothes don't stretch or tug in awkward places, but somehow still show off his mouth watering physique.

Sieun is going to ask him to dress this way more often. And he's going to tell him to keep the glasses on.

He himself has a black button up, open, a black shirt underneath. A pair of jeans. Nothing too fancy. It's just dinner with his mother. He put some gel in his hair this time, it's still tousled in a sort of controlled chaos. At first he wasn't sure if it looked fine, but they ended up almost being late because Suho said he looked really hot and couldn't keep his hands to himself. So he thinks he probably looks okay.

Suho stands up when Hyunjoo walks in with a waiter leading her, Sieun follows soon after.

"Hyunjoo-ssi, my name's Ahn Suho, nice to meet you." He holds out a hand.

Hyunjoo shakes it, "nice to meet you, Suho-ssi."

Sieun just bows his head, "eomoni."

"Sieun-ah," she sits down, as she gestures to both of them to follow, "I hope you're not still upset with me over last time?"

"No, eomoni."

The waiter comes by and takes their drink orders as he hands them their menus before leaving again.

"Sieun-ah, you should get the shrimp pasta, it's delicious," Hyunjoo says excitedly.

Before Sieun can open his mouth, Suho interjects, "oh, no, our Sieun is allergic to shrimp," he looks at Sieun, "how about the Carbonara?"

Sieun smiles small, and nods, "sounds good."

Hyunjoo just stares between them, "I'm sorry, Sieun-ah, eomma forgot."

Sieun just sighs, "it happens, eomoni," he turns back to Suho, "what are you getting?"

"I'm not sure, should I just get the same thing?" He has a pondering look.

"Get something else, so we can share," Sieun pouts, Hyunjoo's mouth falls open at his expression.

She's never seen her son make that face, or even speak that much at once.

"Alright, darling, then I'll get the mushroom Risotto," he says as he closes the menu card, "Hyunjoo-ssi, have you decided?" He asks her kindly.

Hyunjoo nods, "I'll get the lasagna Bolognese."

Suho flags down a waiter, "we're ready to order."

After a while when they get their dishes, Sieun and Suho immediately start sharing their food.

Suho feeds Sieun a bite, whose eyes widen at the taste. Then he steals a bite from Sieun's plate. They almost forget there's a third person at their table.

Almost, until she clears her throat.

"So. Sieun-ah, how are your studies going?" She asks curtly.

Suho strokes a hand on the back of his head, "he's actually interning right now, and he's doing so well. He's very highly regarded by his peers and colleagues."

Hyunjoo pauses, looking at her son's face, once again seeing a foreign warmth, "I see." She takes a careful bite of her lasagna, then, "Suho-ssi, what do you do?"

Sieun snorts without meaning to, earning a shocked look from his mother. He mutters a soft sorry, that he does not mean.

Suho chuckles, "well, I'm a retired MMA athlete, now I coach young talent instead."

"Retired MMA athlete… forced retirement?" She quirks an eyebrow.

Suho shakes a hand in the air, "oh no, technically I'm retired, but I still fight here and there when I feel like it."

"Eomoni," Sieun intervenes, unbothered, as his knife and fork still move in his pasta, "you can search him on Naver."

"Search him on—" Hyunjoo looks shocked, "what?"

Suho rubs the back of his neck, "Sieun-ah…"

"Yeah, eomoni, he's won multiple world titles. He's unmatched in our country. Even after he retired, there hasn't been a fighter like him," Sieun continues singing his praises, relishes in the way his mother's mouth falls open.

"My love, please…" Suho begs, his ears matching Sieun's hair color.

"Hyung, let me brag a bit," he replies, easily.

"Alright, alright, whatever you want," of course Suho gives in immediately.

Hyunjoo holds up a hand, "I get the picture. So you're a fighter? That worries me for Sieun's well-being."

Suho frowns, "what do you mean?"

Sieun's proud smile drops off his face.

"Well, you know, fighters are aggressive—"

"Eomoni, I will not allow you to insinuate anything about Suho," Sieun states with finality. Fun's over.

"Adeul, eomma is not insinuating anything, I'm just voicing my worries," she says, Sieun feels oil being thrown over the embers she started.

"Clearly I'm safer in his hands, than yours. Considering you almost fed me shrimp today. Suho-yah, we're done here." Sieun wipes his mouth.

"Alright," Suho replies, as he waves down a waiter, "check please."

When the waiter comes over, Hyunjoo quickly starts digging into her purse, but Suho pulls out his black card, and hands it to the waiter first.

They stand up as soon as they're done, "it was nice meeting you, Hyunjoo-ssi," Suho says, still as kind as ever, as he gives Sieun his elbow.

Sieun wraps his hands around him, "eomoni, have a good night." He bows his head again before heading out.

"Good night…" Hyunjoo is left dumbfounded in her seat.

Suho is quietly driving, while Sieun is fidgeting in his seat.

"I'm sorry," he says suddenly.

Suho glances at him, a startled look on his face, "what for, my love?"

He sighs, "it's my fault it went so bad, I didn't even give her a chance. This was supposed to be nice."

Suho just smiles, "darling, she wasn't very nice, and you stood up for me. Thank you for that." He reaches for his hand to squeeze it affectionately, "respect is earned."

"You're right," he turns, "hyung."

"Yes?" Suho's eyes are on the road.

"You look really good," Sieun has a glint in his eyes, one that Suho doesn't see yet.

"Thank you, love, you look good too—but I think I already made that clear," his canines shine with mirth.

Sieun can't stop looking at his arms, he has his sleeves rolled up, and the veins are prominent while he's holding the steering wheel loosely.

His eyes trail along his body, to his chest where he opened the top three buttons after getting into the car, to the way his Adam's apple moves, his clenched jaw, the glasses sitting on his perfectly sculpted nose, over his sharp eyes, the few stray strands escaping his neat hairstyle, some gray hairs peppered through it.

Sieun crosses his legs as he looks away.

It doesn't take long for them to arrive at Gyujin's apartment complex.

Suho walks him to his door as usual, but that's where he stops. As usual.

He's never stepped over this threshold.

"Alright, goodnight, Sieun-ah." He gives him a soft kiss, before pulling back.

Sieun's had enough, though. Enough of waiting.

He holds his collar harshly, twisting the fabric between his fingers, before crashing their lips together.

Suho melts into him for a second, before Sieun starts pulling him inside. He backs away just a bit, "Sieun-ah—"

"Hyung, shut up."

He closes their distance again, as he toes off his shoes messily, pulling him further into the apartment, without stopping the movement of his lips against Suho's.

They stumble into the dark living room, where Sieun starts tugging at Suho's shirt roughly, ripping a few of the buttons off while he does.

Suho isn't much better, his hands roam all over his back, slipped under his shirt, until he moves them over his ass and under his thighs. Lifting Sieun up easily, and wrapping his legs around his own waist.

"First door left," Sieun pants against his mouth, as he feels his jeans tighten.

Suho obliges, as he leads him to Sieun's bedroom, closing the door behind him with his foot, before he gently lays him down on his bed, contrasting the hungry way his tongue moves.

Suho kneels on the bed between Sieun's legs, stomach curling with anticipation at the sight in front of him.

Morning light shines into the kitchen softly, as Suho starts the coffee machine. He's only wearing a pair of basketball shorts Sieun had in his closet that he never wore, because they were too big. His hair is pushed out of his face, because of the amount of times he ran his hand through it. His back and shoulders riddled with scratches and bite marks.

He checks the clock that blinks on the oven.

6:30, still early.

Just as the machine starts pouring the coffee into his cup, he's joined by someone else in the kitchen.

"Suho?" Gyujin asks, not believing the sight in front of him right now.

"Good morning," Suho nods in his direction.

"Good…morning?" Gyujin slowly walks over to him, "did you spend the night?"

"Yeah, I didn't plan to," Suho replies, he tries to look regretful but it's not convincing, he doesn't regret a thing.

"Wait—" Gyujin's eyes widen, "that noise last night, was y-you two?!"

Suho rubs the back of his neck, "you heard that? Sorry, we really tried to be quiet."

"Ahn Suho—"

"Hyungaahhhh, come back!" Sieun interrupts his father from his bedroom unwittingly.

Suho chuckles, "I guess I'm needed over there," he starts heading towards Sieun, "you can have my coffee, Gyujin-ah."

All three have breakfast together, Sieun has his chair scooted almost against Suho's. Gyujin can clearly tell he's a lot softer around the edges, his normally stiff posture and cold facial expressions have been easing since their talk, but right now he seems to have all of his walls down. Gyujin's fighting the glare on his face the entire time.

"Sieun-ah," Gyujin interrupts the lovey-dovey scene in front of him, "I've been thinking."

"Yes, appa?" He asks, his attention on his father, while still leaning into Suho's side.

"What would you think if eomma and I tried again?" He blurts out.

"Huh?" Sieun looks at Suho, making sure he also heard it, then back at his father, "is that a good idea?"

"Yeah," he sighs, "I mean, we've both matured now, and are steady in life. Maybe we can try again?"

"Have you already talked to her?" He thinks back on his dinner yesterday.

"No, not yet, I first wanted to talk to you," Gyujin looks serious.

"Oh," Sieun blinks, "I-I appreciate that, thank you. I mean, it's up to you? Don't get back together because you think it'll help me in some way—it won't—but only because you want to."

His father nods, "okay, I'll think about it a bit longer. I do miss your mother a lot."

"Hmm, I can move in with hyung," Sieun turns, "right, hyungah?"

Suho nods, his mouth full, "of course," he says through a bite, then after he swallows, "you're always welcome with me, darling."

Sieun smiles at him, but Gyujin frowns.

"Adeul, that's not why I brought this up. You can move if you want, because you're an adult and you can make your own choices," he says it like it costs him something, "but, I don't want you to feel like you have to move just because your mother might get back together with me. For all we know she might reject me!"

Sieun nods, "we can think about it, we have options."

Gyujin sighs, "yes, b-but…"

Suho raises an eyebrow, "but?"

He squints his eyes at him, "please, don't do that in this apartment anymore, I do not want to hear it."

Suho presses his lips together.

Sieun blinks slowly, "that…?" His eyes widen, "oh— you heard us?!"

Suho puts an arm around Sieun's shoulder, "we'll keep it in mind."

Gyujin nods to him, "thank you, I don't think I'll be able to sleep for the next few nights."

Sieun covers his face, "sorry…"

They find themselves on Suho's couch in the late evening.

They're not watching a thriller this time, Suho's learned his lesson.

"Hey, hyung, don't you think they kind of look like us?" Sieun asks, as he's leaning against Suho.

He's sitting back-to-chest, his head tucked under Suho's chin, Suho's legs caging him in. A blanket over their laps.

The Suho look-a-like does something silly, which has Sieun giggling. His laughter rumbles right through his back, echoing into Suho's ribcage.

This might officially be one of his favorite ways to hold Sieun, Suho decides. He loves feeling Sieun's little laughs and breaths through his entire body, relishing in it.

He hums, "I don't see it."

This makes Sieun laugh harder, "hyung! He'd literally be your doppelganger if you were younger!"

"Yah!" He flicks his ear, "what do you mean if you were younger?!"

Sieun grabs his hand and brings it to his lips, giving it a soft kiss, "calm down, they're literally supposed to be playing teenagers."

"I think you're prettier than him," he points at the screen, "also you would never swing a chair at me."

Sieun tilts his head, looking up at him, "how are you so sure?"

"Well, would you?" He asks.

"As much as you would give me a warning punch like that guy just gave screen-me," he sticks out his tongue.

"Okay, so never."

Sieun shrugs, turning his face back to the screen, "I used to have those metal pens in high school too."

"Hot," Suho just says.

"You think I'm hot, hyung?" Sieun fully turns this time to look at him, sitting more straight now.

"Oh, hell yeah." He leans forward to kiss him, tugging him against his chest again.

Sieun pulls away for a second, to get more comfortable, straddles Suho where he sits. He leans forward, catching his lips with his own again.

The TV automatically plays the next episode, and the one after that.

They end up rewatching them tomorrow.