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Really, February 14th was one of the most fucking boring holidays ever celebrated in Hogwarts. It wasn't usual to make a big thing out of it, it depended of the year, but it had always been particularly annoying for Sirius.
What if he doesn't wanted to run around stalking someone else with hopes that they would give him the time of day? He did that enough with Moony, and at least with him, he always had a great time and they had a bunch of things in common. It was irritating, all that was expected of him. To go gallivanting around getting chocolate after chocolate and accepting every witch's insignificant feelings. It wasn't his problem that they had the hots for him. They were too different! They wanted Sirius to give them all of his attention and crawl at their feet as if they were queens, but he didn't want that with them. He wanted it with Remus. Sirius wanted the werewolf to treat him like that. Also, they would never work intimately. They were just... Antithetic.
A soft huff.
At the moment, he was in Charms. His eyes were focused on the front of the class where the professor was concentrated on giving them practical demonstrations of the spells they would be mastering during the week. But, really, he couldn't pay enough attention to the wizard when he could feel a pair of intense eyes on him. Yes, when the first class of the day had started, he had already gotten a couple boxes of candy. After that, he ended up gifting Minnie all the other ones he found on his desk during the second class of the day: Transfiguration. They went to eat at the Great Hall later, and everything had gotten out of fucking control at that point.
Did Sirius love attention? Of course! He didn't deserve any less. Did he enjoyed being harassed all fucking day? Not a chance. Yes, yes. He gets it. He's bloody beautiful, they want to go down on him and whatever-the-fuck-else. He was tired. He got tired of all those people trying to steal away his attention, when his mind had been focused only in one person that day. One that didn't change come storm or sun. A safe constant.
And it's just that... Moony looked so cute with his typical old-man jumper, accepting one or two gifts. Did Sirius enjoy seeing that other people had their eyes on him? Godric, no. But, it was nice looking at Remus being all flustered about something Sirius made sure to tell him every single day. He was handsome. Not even the scars took away from that fact, it was the absolute opposite.
Sirius knew pretty well that Remus’ scars came from pain, from the locked wolf losing control and then the suffering he faced at the ache of the transformations every full moon. It was an animal, a pained creature that only followed its instincts. If its behaviour was bloodthirsty at times, it wasn't his fault but the way he was made to survive. Sirius ached every time he saw Remus come back with a new scar, but he loved them on principle anyway. They were a part of Remus Lupin. Sirius couldn't not love every single part of that boy, including the silver lines that seemed to create something of a kitsugi all over his skin. All that Sirius saw was art made between humanity and nature.
Dazzling moon dust that filled the wounds of the monthly torture Remus was subjected to leaving behind the reminder of his resilience along with his curse. Sirius couldn't avoid getting lost on the view, even more when Remus had the audacity to walk around their dorm room shirtless sometimes. It wasn't frequent, but it happened a couple times a year. Mostly close to September's Harvest Moon, it wasn't that weird to find Remus only wearing his underpants when it decided to show up. The full moon of one of the months that started to cool down slowly, causing the absolutely contrary reaction on the welsh.
Sirius could fairly mention the transformations each month as a time to ogle openly at one his best friends, but he found it quite disrespectful to even insinuate something like that. In those moments, Remus was suffering. Sirius preferred the times when he could admire the view when Remus was voluntarily stripping down, not out of necessity. Also, he had more time to enjoy them when Remus sat at his bed reading and Sirius could pretend to be bored and let his gaze caress every single line on Moony's skin.
Sirius saw Remus, of course he did. How could he not, when the werewolf was the most beautiful thing the magic world could have brought to his life? By Merlin if he didn't want to spend every second of every day on just loving him. Loving him like he knew he could do. Like he knew Remus could do with him as well. They weren't that different, the platonic love and the friendliness he got to feel for him a couple of years before getting his head out of his own ass and notice that Remus wasn't just a friend for him.
Remus was so much more.
When Padfoot appeared for the first time, it was easy to accept the obvious. After becoming an animagus for him, his senses developed better than most. It didn't reach Remus' level thanks to the lycantrophy, but they were there. He could find Remus' scent anywhere, just because he smelt right. As if Moony was the spark that started the fire between them.
The first time Padfoot met Moony, he submitted to the wolf. Got down and surrender to him. Something clicked inside of Sirius then. Something he didn't know was there. Something he didn't know existed before. Something that made him feel whole for the first time in his life.
The feeling of belonging.
To something and to someone all at the same time, because Padfoot was Moony's. Padfoot belonged to the pack too, his loyalty was with Wormtail and Prongs too. But it wasn't the same. The intensity of it wasn't similar at all. They weren't at the same level. They weren't even on the same scale.
Padfoot belongs to Moony, Sirius belongs to Remus.
Remus was his guiding light in the darkness of the night, but he was because Remus was also the night. Remus ran deep on his veins, with every beat of his heart. He was the disease and the cure at the same time.
Don't mind the paradox of it all, Remus for Sirius was an oxymoron. The good and the bad intertwined. The balance he needed in his life.
All those thoughts filled his head, while one of his hands held close to his mouth the quill he had been using to write his notes. The metallic tip pressing down against the softness of his bottom lip, just there in the middle of it. Unconscious of the fact that he was leaving a mark behind both because of the pression and the residual ink on the tip. What was important was that the action helped him concentrate. Sirius only hugged delicately with his lips that part of the object, ignorant of how it looked from the outside.
The slight taste of ink making him think of Moony's fingers and, fuck. He shouldn't be thinking about that in class, or he would have to suspiciously stay behind after it finished to keep at least a shred of his dignity. Sirius sighed, just barely grazing his tongue with the sharp side of the tip of the quill, pressing scantily against it, even with the minimal risk of cutting his tongue for it. He didn't focus on that, still.
His teeth gave the slightest of bites, eyes half-lidded and almost sleepy trying to engage on the explanation thr professor was trying to sell them on. Sirius had good grades, it came naturally to him so he could complete any of the assignments without a doubt, even in the disconnected state between his mind and his body that he was in. A simple gutural sound, low, considerate, was what escaped his lips as if analizing the words coming from the man in front of the class.
Sirius, not wearing his robes, but with them perched in the back of his chair. Was slouching over the desk he usually sat at, Prongs at his left side, likely focused on the demonstration from the professor. The magical quill in between his fingers, almost like one would be holding a pipe.
It was then that their eyes intercepted each other.
Ah.
Of course.
Kaleidoscopic brown like a boulder opal crossing with a colour change spinel, a soft fluttering of the dark curtain that were his eyelashes and he noticed clearly how those smoky stones deviated down to focus on what was happening between his lips. Sirius didn't resist the temptation to look entirely at Remus, a twinkle in his eyes while they looked for any hidden detail on his posture that could give away what Sirius wanted to know.
Sirius was perceptive.
Maybe too much for his own good.
The way the body almost always perpetually hunched in itself kept the tension on its shoulders, his scarred fingers giving a soft spasm there over the parchment in which he was writing his notes before and the ones of the other hand, ink stained fingers clutching with a bit more force his own quill. Sirius could undoubtedly see the symptoms, questioning himself if they had been there before. If, maybe, they had been there all the time just for him to catch the signs. The proof of his desire.
Dilated pupils, how his eyes were fixated on that specific part of his face. It was inevitable for Sirius to take on the opportunity, when everything around him almost felt thicker and heavy with a cloud of lustful need. There was electricity between them.
The corners of his mouth curving, extending slightly upwards.
A mischievous, lopsided smirk. His cupid's bow losing symmetry when the left side when higher than the right side, subtle but notorious to the keen eye. Even more when Remus was looking at him as if studying him under a lens. The little drop of ink had stained the middle of his bottom lip, and his naughty tongue went back for more, brushing against the tip of the quill again. Even if said object shouldn't be in such a place.
It was milliseconds. Just a fleeting moment it took those cheeks to burn bright and pretty, enhancing the sight of the scars there along with the freckles like constellations in the scarred skin of the other boy. Eyebrows that went up in the most tiny gesture of surprise, lips somewhat parting as in a silent gasp full of scandal and yet enchanted.
From his position, it was visible the way Remus' body moved and adjusted his own. How he moved a bit more to the front of his chair, as if trying to hide the reaction Sirius now knew he had on Remus. A hand full of scars going to cover his own mouth just slightly, a little, for which the curvature of the sides of his mouth was explicitly notorious to Sirius.
He could have laughed incredulous at that.
His heart skipping a beat in response to the reaction he got from the boy he liked so much. The fingers of his left hand gripped the edge of the desk, while the ones on the right held his quill in place. If he had been Padfoot at the moment, his ears would have kept on moving a bit trying to listen to every little sound that could escape Remus, but he wasn't Padfoot and even if his senses were better, they weren't perfect.
Sirius sighed slowly, a herd of dragons making their home in his belly, while he tried to focus on the class again. Or, well, pretend it wasn't heat branded on his memories, the image of Remus almost devouring him with his eyes in the middle of Charms. A day like any other. A fourteenth of February like all the others, a Monday, February 14th of 1977.
That date may become unforgettable to him from that day on. Should he mark it on his calendar? –Does he even have a calendar?– the anniversary of the day he thought his feelings, along with his desires, for one Remus John Lupin, could be reciprocated.
It won't be until later that day, that he would gather enough courage to try to test his theory.
He wouldn't be Sirius Black after all if he didn't go head first into an investigation when he suspected that it could benefit him in some way, now, wouldn't he? Anyway, after the busy day they had had. Since James had thought that charming the suits of armour on the hall of the second floor of the castle to arrest anyone that confessed in front or close to them. It had been great entertainment, really.
Continuing with his dilemma, Sirius and Remus decided to stay behind on the dorm after dinner. It had been a day full of scandalous shenanigans and broken hearts, but Sirius couldn't focus on anything more than looking at Remus in the bed next to his own with eyes full of hope. They had always arranged like that. Since first year, Sirius had the bed closer to the door on the right side of the room, Remus the bed beside that one. In front of Sirius' was James' and next that one, Peter's. That's how they arranged themselves at eleven, and that's the way they stayed years later.
Thanks to that, Sirius could admire Remus from there without any inconvenience. It wasn't weird. He had been doing that since they were thirteen, just enjoying the way his emotions were shown on his face and how they shifted while he read or wrote an essay for any of their subjects. Sirius was laying on his bed, wearing only pyjama bottoms. He hadn't wanted to wear a shirt, even when February's nights were precisely forgiving. Remus looked lovely as always in a jumper, but he had gone with loose pyjama trousers too. "Are you not cold?" Was what came from Remus’ side of the room while Sirius was lost in his daydreaming, which made Sirius tilt his head to the side before pressing his cheek against one of the palms of his hands whilst looking at Remus with fondness. "And what if I am? Are you going to come here and share some of your body heat with poor little me?" The smirk he gave Remus almost identical to the one he used back in the classroom.
When Remus licked his lips, Sirius wasn't entirely surprised anymore. But, oh. How it made a very specific part of him pay attention.
Remus seemed to consider his words for a bit, not going straight to the easy 'fuck you' (please, and thank you) or 'you wished, Black' but thinking for a second before answering back. Sirius could clearly see those long fingers delicately closing the book he was reading a moment before, just a soft blunt sound made by the weight of the pages happened. Sirius swallowed dry, subtly, when Remus looked back at him. Intense stare. His eyes almost seemed to want to say something to him. "And what if I do?" Oh, good one. Sirius squirmed slightly in his place with Remus' eyes following every one of his movements. "I would never let you go, then, Moony. That's what would happen. Are you ready for that commitment? You know how I am."
And it was a warning.
If Sirius let him get that close, there would be a compromise between them. Sirius didn't like sharing what was his. Remus had been for him since they were thirteen.
His amber irises darkened while he let his book beside the pillow behind him, it made Sirius hold his breath for a second. Remus stretched, without moving from where he was, arms over his head, before getting up and moving like an agile predator before pouncing on his prey. Sirius only followed his own instincts, laying down with his back against the mattress and opening his legs like welcoming the other ones in between them.
Sirius wasn't ready for the image of Remus taking his jumper and undershirt off over his head in a swift movement, throwing the pieces of clothing to the bed he had been resting on before. The sight of his naked chest causing Sirius to let out a soft sound of need, blown-out pupils that were looking all over the expanse of that chest. Remus wasn't particularly muscular, but his strength didn't need tangible proof to be able to be there. It just was. Sirius knew perfectly that the whole academic goody-two shoes demeanour was but a mask hiding away the treasure under it.
But Sirius loved him being a box full of surprises.
Once he had Remus hovering over him, there wasn't a way to not stare directly at his face. Looking attentively at him, Sirius knew the other was rigorously checking on him too. "All this time?" Sirius chuckled at his question, the feeling of his own pleasure against Remus' physical proof of their mutual want. "Mm. Since forever, almost." Sirius confessed, but the light shining on Remus' eyes was worth it. Even more when Remus' hand cupped his cheek delicately, making Sirius immediately nuzzle against the loving touch before feeling his chapped lips against his own. Warm. Perfect. Slow. Sirius wanted to be consumed by him. Wanted to be loved in the way he knew Remus could love him. "Mine?" Simple, they didn't need much words. They have never done that together before, but the golden wolfish glow peaking through the brown of Remus' eyes told him that the question wasn't coming only from the human. "Yours, Re. Always yours." But the obvious was floating between them. "I'm yours too, Sirius. Always." The smile on Sirius' lips couldn't have been erased even if Voldemort himself had made himself present in the room with them.
Remus was his.
From there, there were no doubts. When the arms of the shortest one hugged Remus' neck, their lips met in a passionate exchange. Tilting his head to the side, while he was rubbing himself needily against Renus. Gasps filling the silence of the room from time to time, along with some moans coming from his best friend lips against his.
"Moony, please." He begged, listening to Remus groaning under his breath a moment later. Those big hands caressing his sides and using his nails to graze softly the path they were taking on his skin, making his whole body shudder at that. He felt sensitive, and he had been waiting long enough already. Sirius wanted him. They could take time to make it all special and slow later, Sirius just wanted to be marked by Remus already. "Can I, baby?" The nickname having Sirius practically melting under him. He nodded effusively, catching the playful glint on Remus' eyes. "Shut up". Remus' low chuckle had the corners of Sirius' lips shaking a bit with how much he wanted to smile back at him, but he wouldn't. He was making a point there, of course. "I didn't say anything." Sirius sticked out his tongue at him, very mature. "You don't have to."
Of course.
He didn't even have to speak, that's how much they understood each other. It was a silent language they had developed between them.
Those confident hands sneaked under the elastic of his pyjamas, and even under his pants. "We are not losing time today, huh?" Remus' eye roll making Sirius chuckle again, before he got his clothes off in a fast movement. Sirius didn't feel shy about his body at all, he knew he looked good. The face Remus was trying to dissimulate a dead give away of how much he liked it. Sirius gave him a smirk, opening his legs a bit more and letting go of him. He let Remus stare, with his hands on his thighs as he was, while taking one of his hands to his semi-erect dick, just brushing it with the tips of his fingers. "Enjoying the view, Moony?" Cheesy, but effective, it had Remus letting out a guttural sound of agreement. Going down in between his legs to kiss the insides of his thighs, Sirius shuddered. "Mm... Yes, please." Sirius groaned, Remus' satisfied smirk at him after giving his skin a soft nibble made Sirius huff a breath. "You have better manners than normal." And it was Sirius' turn to roll his eyes now. "And what? I'm nothing if not a gentleman, Moony."
Sirius assured him confidently, making Remus laugh softly at it. It made Sirius' chest feel warm and contentment to fill him along with it.
"I don't need a gentleman right now, Sirius." Oh. Well, fuck him. Remus pushed Sirius' legs up by the back of his thighs, revealing the little frowned hole hiding away in between Sirius' asscheeks. A simple cleaning charm had Sirius' body shuddering and then, suddenly, Remus' mouth was there where Sirius least expected it. "Moony!" It was half a sob mixed with a bashful noise. As much as he was confident on his looks, that right there was something he had never tried before. Sirius' eyes rolling back for a second, his legs shaking and one of his hands grabbing the sheets hard, the other one on Remus' curls while pulling softly from time to time.
His hips moving against that mouth, with his cock giving a slight jump at the stimulation from that tongue. "Re! Moony... Remus! Remus." Sirius kept on calling his name, almost like a reminder that it was actually him, it was really Remus the one giving him everything there. After years of longing, of yearning to have him interested in him as more than just friends. Now, he had Remus having a feast in between his legs, and really if that wasn't a development in their relationship, Sirius didn't now what would be.
After minutes of being tortured by that skillful tongue of his, Sirius felt a single finger starting to prod around his insides. Godric, when had Remus gotten better at silent charms? Sirius didn't know, but he was surely getting the fruits of those efforts of his. "Re, please. Come here, I want to see you. Kiss." He demanded that while his lower lip was pulled to the front in a very obvious pout. A frown that was disturbed by the gasp that escaped him when he felt Remus' chuckle against his intimacy.
Remus went up kissing his body, making Sirius smile indulgently at him. "Hi there, are you feeling okay?" Ah, Remus was a fucking loser. He was absolutely in love with him. His hand on Remus' hair started to go down, just brushing lightly over his skin before reaching enough to sneak inside his trousers and grab his hard member to start stimulating it, his hand hugging it and rubbing in an up and down motion. His fingers incapable to completely close the fist around it. Sirius wanted it in his mouth so badly. The sight of Remus moaning there, full of pleasure that Sirius himself was giving him made him feel quite a lot of stuff, he felt really satisfied with it. Even then, he wondered how it would be when he got his way eventually and was able to have Remus hard and leaking on his tongue for hours. Just the idea of it had Sirius breathing deeply as to not reach his climax yet. Sirius whispered a lubing charm under his breath, with the intention to bring Remus as much pleasure as possible. "I fear that if you don't get inside of me soon, I'll implode from how hard I am." Remus lifted an eyebrow, unimpressed with his impatience. "Romantic."
That was followed by a kiss, so he decided to ignore the sarcasm oozing from the word.
When Remus finished stretching him, and decided at last it was a good idea to take off the rest of his clothes for him, Sirius had to breathe because he forgot for a second there. He let Remus take the reigns there, at the moment just playing with his nipples while they rub their erections together. Sirius sighed shakily, but he could also see the way Remus' hands were trembling.
He took one of them, guiding it to his cheek so he could kiss the palm of it. "Hey. I love you, okay?" The adoration being send his way just looking at Remus' eyes made opening his heart for him so worth it. Showing his vulnerability to him. Letting him lead their encounter. "Mm. Love you too, Pads." Sirius smiled with so much fondness, before relaxing under Remus. A pillow under his hips, his legs hugging Remus and his hands just pressed against the boy's back. Sirius could do that. Of course he could give everything to Remus.
At last, with his cock lined up with Sirius' entrance, Remus dived inside him. Even when the pain started to appear, Sirius couldn't focus on anything more than the pleasure of knowing it was Remus, the one enjoying his body. "Sirius, fuck." Sirius could only close his eyes for a bit, moaning high and loud for him. "Does it feel good?" Babbling, since Sirius was unable to concentrate much. "Tight." Wss all Remus was able to say, to which Sirius chuckled low and slow, but the movement had them both groaning deeply.
That was what Sirius had always wanted.
That union he shared with Remus there, feeling the hand torturing one of his slightly swollen nipples while Remus stayed still as soon as he got completely inside him. Warm, thick. Oh, Sirius didn't know if to thank Merlin, Remus' father or the universe as a whole at that point for the way Remus fit so perfectly inside of him.
His body shuddered, rolling his hips a moment later after kissing the boy a couple of minutes until he felt comfortable enough for Remus to start moving inside of him. Seems like the wait was too much even for the patience of a Saint that Remus had, because as soon as he had permission, he gave himself entirely to it.
"Re!" That was a whine, while his nails decided to claw at Remus' back, leaving behind his own trails on the scarred skin. He could feel how his balls hit his cheeks with every thrust inside, Sirius' mouth leaving behind bites and hickeys all over his neck, collarbone and start of his chest. "Sirius, you feel perfect." Remus groaned, which made Sirius gasp out loud in response. He wanted Remus to hear every proof of his pleasure. "Moony. Moony." Sirius was being straight up vulgar with his sounds. High, deep and constant noise coming from his mouth. A series of 'ah, ah, ah' every time he had Remus pounding inside of him, almost like trying to force his insides to take the shape of his hard cock. "Mine. All mine." Possessiveness was so new coming straight from Remus, oral and open, but Sirius wasn't about to complain. He could see beside his head one of his arms, the strength he was using to keep him in place making his veins pop up a bit.
Sirius was so close, it made him feel ashamed from how much Remus could affect him.
"Come on, Padfoot. Come for me, I want to see you coming with my cock inside." Remus confessed, sweat running down his temples. Sirius didn't doubt he was in a similar state just looking at his lovely werewolf, in between the sweat and the tears he hadn't noticed had been running down his cheeks, his long dark strands of hair sticking to his skin a bit. All Sirius could do was leave his own marks behind on his lover, adding to the ones he had left before reaching the limit of how much he could stand the stimulation of their abdomens against his erection. "Remus... Re, I'm coming. I'm coming on your cock." Sirius sobbed, mouth open in a long moan while his legs tensed up, shaking and his fingers pressed even harder against his back. His toes curling at the effort it took, how much pleasure was coursing through his system. His nails leaving red trails behind on the tanned skin, while his semen was expelled from his hardness, leaving both of them sticky with the warmth of it.
It didn't take too long for a similar sensation to fill his insides.
Oh, Sirius would never forget the sound Remus made at that moment. "Pads- Sirius!" Like the mix between a whine and a groan, almost as helpless as it was desperate. It was perfect. Sirius hugged him, not getting even an inch away from Remus. There, just laying on his bed with Remus for some time.
Sirius knew they had to clean themselves, fix the sheets, open the window to let the smell of sex dissapear from the room before James and Peter came back, but...
"Moony." A soft whisper of his nickname. Caressing each letter, slow and sluggish. His only sign that Remus was still awake a soft 'Mm?'. Sirius kissed the expanse of his jawline, loving in the contact of his lips against him. "Be my boyfriend?" The low sound of laughter and the movement it caused on Remus making both of them shake a little bit. It was silly, asking officially for what was obvious when he still had Remus buried deep inside. They weren't decent at all. "And people said romance was dead." Remus joked, before kissing Sirius' lips lovingly. A short and soft dance. "Yes. Of course, I'll be your boyfriend."
Because there was no other option, really.
Remus was made for Sirius, Sirius was made for Remus. There, in the warmth of their bodies intertwined in a cold spring evening, started the path of their life together. The most important adventure of their existence. The most valuable compromise, too. Because it wasn't as if that were a simple attempt to make a relationship like any other work. No. No, it went deeper than that. It was written in their souls.
Sirius would love Remus forever, no one else would ever take his place. Because in his heart, a lot before he was left there on earth, he had been promised to one lovely creature of the moon. One of its tortured children. A consolation, maybe.
A fallen star.
Loved over anything else.
In an evening like any other of a monday in Hogwarts.
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