Chapter Text
It had been a year since Izzy’s manic-episode-driven, week-long bender had taken place, and she’s gotten a bit better. Not too much, let’s not overestimate her now. But a tiny bit of progress has been made since then. She’s at least two weeks sober.
But to say Anna isn’t proud of her, would be a lie. She’s super happy. Ecstatic. Over the moon some may say. Well, as happy as Anna can be.
So as a reward for being two weeks sober and for not making any stupid decisions, Anna has decided to take her and Izzy on a road trip to San Francisco for her birthday.
And that is how they found themselves pulling into a gas station in Santa Rosa at 6 o’clock on a crisp September morning.
“I don’t know about you Iz, but I need a cigarette so bad right now.” Anna sighed, unbuckling her seatbelt and rummaging through her handbag for her pack of Marlboro's.
“Yeah sure whatever, just make sure you smoke across the road, I would much rather our car blow up when we’re actually in San Francisco.” Izzy says, putting the car in park and turning it off.
Anna had her long black hair shoddily pulled up into a ponytail with a fish bone shaped hair clip. She had a pair of black mini shorts on and wore an oversized gray, zip-up hoodie that had one side off her shoulder, over a black tank top. She also wore her black slouchy boots (which she adored with every fibre of her being.)
(i cba to describe another fit so heres izzy’s outfit)
“I need a red-bull, some sour patch kids and a pack of Marlboro reds.” Izzy stated, listing the items off her fingers, “Anything you’d like?”
“Uhhhh, not really, if they have any of the strawberry monsters could you get that please?” Anna asked apprehensively, as if even the notion of asking for something would get her hung, drawn and quartered in the town square.
“Of course! Now fuck off and smoke before you get all cranky.” Izzy giggled while Anna rolled her eyes.
“Okay Mom..” Anna groaned, drawing out the ‘o’ before stepping out of the car with her pack and zippo in one hand, and phone in the other, leaving her handbag safely on the floor of the passenger's side and shutting the door with her hip.
She looked around and noticed there was only one car other than her and Izzy's. I mean, the sun was literally just beginning to rise, but still, she expected there to be at least one more car, maybe even two. The owner of the mysterious car was nowhere to be found, presumably inside the building itself paying for gas or buying snacks.
Anna walked across the road and sat down on the curb, taking a cigarette out of the pack and lighting it. She took a deep inhale, the smoke settling pleasantly in her lungs, before exhaling slowly, savouring the burn it left in her throat.
It was approaching 6:50am, the sun was halfway through rising, casting a beautiful orange glow across Anna and the gas station. Anna thought the world could be so beautiful, yet so cruel.
She had these moments where she loved the world and everything in it, and moments where she despised it. She loved the morning fog and watching the sun rise during her wake-up walks, she hated how Izzy’s parents would never care when Izzy was out alone in the cold. She loved listening to her mothers homesick tangents about how beautiful and unique Paris was, she hated the man that drove them away from France and made them live in constant fear. She loved her friends. She hated how God had seemed to have given them all the short end of the stick.
Any time she thought about it too much she felt sick to her stomach and filled with the overwhelming urge to chain smoke 4 packs and pass out from nicotine poisoning. The amount of love she had for her friends was enough to fill the marianna trench, yet she couldn’t show it. She would move mountains for these people and take bullets for them, yet she can’t bring herself to utter the words ‘i love you’ or even so much as give them a hug.
It pissed her off to say the least. She tried so hard to be okay with physical touch, especially because her best friend, Izzy, was a very touchy person, but she just couldn’t. Maybe it was her fathers fault (like everything that's wrong with her life) or maybe it's her own fault. Either way, her friends didn’t seem to mind much, and she tries her best to show her love in different ways, so she guesses it’s not that big of a deal.
It still pisses her off though.
She took another hit, admiring the sunrise as she exhaled. She took her phone out of her pocket, with the intention of scrolling on Instagram reels until she finished her cigarette, or Izzy shouted her over, until she heard someone shout from across the road.
“Hi! Uh, hello?!” the mysterious person shouted. Anna looked over in the direction of the voice and saw a girl with medium length pink hair walking across the road from the gas station. She had a mini pink camisole dress on with doc martens on and looked like she meant business.
As she reached Anna, she seemed to falter a bit, before regaining confidence and asking her question.
“Hi, sorry to be a bother but I was wondering if you had a light? My fuckass boyfriend stole mine and I don’t have any others.”
“Uh, yeah! Sorry, for sure.” Anna stuttered out, as she gave the girl her zippo, she sat next to her.
“So, what's your name, fellow traveller?” the girl said, placing her cigarette in her mouth and lighting it before handing the zippo back.
“Um, Anna. What’s yours?”
“Lily. Well, it’s nice to meet you Anna!”
“I-It's nice to meet you too, Lily.”
They sat in a comfortable silence for a minute before Lily asked another question.
“Sooo, what r’you doing out here?” She asked, turning to face Anna and cocking her head to the left.
“Me and my friend are going on a trip to San Francisco, just stopping off here for fuel and supplies y’know?” Anna said, the initial shock from her first meeting having subsided. “What about you?”
“I live here, Santa Rosa is my home. Always will be.” Lily replied, with a wistful expression on her face.
A moment of silence passed.
“What do you do for work Lily?” Anna said, trying to keep the flow of questions going.
“Oh I’m a midnight ballerina,” Lily said with a smirk. “I know that’s like considered a ‘taboo subject’ or whatever but it’s my job, it pays the bills and it keeps the lights on and leaves me a little left to spend on stuff like newports and jolly ranchers.”
“I think people who do sex work are admirable” Anna states matter of factly, taking another drag of her forgotten cigarette.
“You think so?”
“I mean, duh, like it takes serious courage to put yourself out there like that, especially in front of men” Anna shuddered, coaxing a chuckle out of Lily.
“I appreciate that, really I do, but I don’t think I’m that courageous, like I started out in this field of work mainly because I was broke, desperate and had nowhere to go.” Lily sighed. “Anyway, enough about me! I don’t wanna be a Debbie downer, what do you do for work?”
Okay, Anna officially thinks Lily is cool as fuck. For one, she has pink hair. Pink. Hair. Well, Innis has pink hair but they’re lame as hell so who actually cares. Two, she has a cool sense of fashion, to Anna at least. And three, if she owns that car she saw at the gas station earlier, then Anna thinks she has good taste in cars. The full trifecta!
“I don’t really do much to be honest, I work in this coffee shop back in my home town but I’m on unpaid leave right now, so, I’m not getting much from it. This whole trip’s coming mostly from mine and Izzy’s savings.”
“Where’s your home town?”
“Oregon, it’s near the coast. Super pretty in the summer, I usually drag all my friends to the beach and stay there most of the day whenever there’s a hint of sun out.” Anna smiles, fondly remembering her beach episodes.
Her cigarette has long since burnt out, a tiny little stump in between her fingers, but she doesn’t care. She’s way too engrossed in this conversation she’s having with Lily.
“That sounds fun!” Lily said enthusiastically.
“You said you live here, what are you doing at a gas station?”
“My car was low on fuel and I was at my boyfriend’s place last night and he’s a bit far out from here so I needed to refuel.” Lily chuckled, seemingly finding this topic of conversation very awkward.
“Oh right!” Anna chucked as well, trying to lighten the awkward atmosphere. “So, wha-”
Anna was cut off by a loud honking sound coming from the gas station.
“Aw shit I gotta go! So sorry, it was nice talking to you!” Anna stood up, dropping her cigarette butt on the ground and smiling at Lily.
“Hey wait!” Lily stood up too. “Do you have Instagram?”
“Uh yeah, what’s your user?”
“I’ll just put it in your phone, if that's okay?
“Oh, yeah of course.” Anna said, opening Instagram and handing her phone over to Lily, who tucked her cigarette behind her ear before typing away furiously at the screen.
“Ok so I just followed myself,” Lily handed the phone back to Anna. “I’ll follow you back when I get back to the car, it was so nice meeting you!”
“Same goes! Bye Lily!” Anna shouted, already walking across the road towards the gas station.
“Bye Anna!” Lily shouted back, waving at her before sitting back down and continuing smoking her cigarette.
Anna got back to the car, opening the door and putting her stuff back in her handbag before sliding into the car and closing the door behind her.
“Soooooo, who was that??” Izzy asked, waggling her eyebrows as she handed Anna a strawberry monster.
“Just some girl, and before you get your hopes up she’s straight! She has a boyfriend!” Anna said sternly, putting her can in her handbag.
“Ugh for fucks sake, why was she talking to you then? You know you only entertain girls when you want pussy.”
“Oh my god Izzy!” Anna said, mouth agape as Izzy cackled beside her. “You make me sound like some frat house fuckboy!”
“It’s because you are!!”
“Oh fuck off and die Izzy.” Anna muttered, no real heat behind the words.
“What did she want with you anyway?” Izzy asked, putting the car in drive and pulling out of the gas station and on to the road.
“She just needed a light, her boyfriend apparently stole hers”
“Typical.” Izzy muttered and sighed. “Its a shame you’re never gonna see her again, she looked cool.”
“I actually have her Instagram.” Anna said, not realising the gravity of the situation to Izzy.
“What!!!! She gave you her fucking Instagram!?!?!?”
“Uhh, yeah?? What about it?” Anna asked, cocking her head to the right,
“Anna, the day you realise you’re hot as fuck and can pull any bitch you want is the day Jesus Christ comes back from the dead and blesses us with his presence.” Izzy said monotonically, while fiddling with the CD player before ultimately putting on Deftones.
Anna chuckled as they fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the sound of guitars and drums as they stared out into the narrow stretch of road before them.