Archive of Our Own

He tip-toed the rest of the way into the room, watching Cole shut the fridge and turn around with a slice of cake in hand. He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight of Jay.

"Jay! You can't sneak up on me like that!" Cole whispered. "And this isn't what it looks like."

"We're ninja, man, sneaking's what we do," Jay mumbled back. "You can eat your midnight cake, I just need a glass of water."

Cole moved out of the way and watched in silence as Jay filled a small cup at the faucet, still idly holding on to the cake.

He and Jay had already made amends regarding their—very stupid, he would now plainly admit—love triangle with Nya, but the cruel words he'd spat in Jay's face still weighed on Cole. Jay may not have needed an explicit apology on a personal level, he was over the ordeal, but something within Cole demanded he apologize, to leave no doubt in Jay's mind and put his own at ease as to where they stood with each other. He'd put it off a couple times already now, and they were as alone as they could get in the dead of night like this. If he waited any longer, bringing it up would just be odd.

Jay gulped down his badly needed drink in seconds and was going to leave as quickly as he'd come, but Cole's hand clasped his shoulder.

"Hold on, Jay," he murmured. "I just wanted to tell you—because I never apologized, not really. Not the way I wanted to."

Jay's head tilted ever so slightly to one side as he blinked at Cole, whose own eyes shifted around the kitchen before coming back to him.

"I'm sorry for everything. You're… important to me. I just—I really want you to know that I didn't mean those things I said. I was upset with you, and I went about dealing with it in the most childish way possible. I don't want anything to come between us like that ever again."

The kitchen fell silent as Jay, still half-asleep, took a moment to process Cole's address. Cole strained his eyes to get a read on Jay's face in the dim light.

"It's okay, Cole," Jay said gently. A smile tugged at his lips. "I was being an even bigger idiot. I'm just relieved that's all behind us now. But thank you, it's… it's really nice to hear that from you. A-and I forgive you."

He was important to Cole? It was a given, really, after training and living together for as long as they had, the things they had been through, but to hear it stated so plainly almost made him blush—he hoped it stopped at almost. Cole was important to him, too, and he only realized just how much during their time apart. Things weren't the same without Cole's teasing or his terrible cooking or cool quips.

"You know, I was serious when I said losing you hurt more than losing Nya. Don't tell the others, but I—" Jay cut himself off, hesitating, but chose to be forthcoming like Cole was with him. It was what he deserved. "I missed you more than anyone else when we were all split up…" he admitted quietly, then added, "Besides Zane."

Zane.

Cole had blamed himself and Jay for his choice. All their bickering held the team back, and it might not have come down to Zane's sacrifice had they put their ridiculous rivalry aside for the sake of their mission. That's what Cole had believed for a short time, anyway, but he could see much more clearly now that wasn't at all true, and his misplaced anger then put more distance between them. He put more distance between them, regrettably, and the whole time longed to hear one of Jay's long-winded and lively, animated rants again.

"I missed you too. It's good to be back togeee…ther," Cole said, awkwardly stumbling over the end as he realized too late how it sounded. Only now did he have the mind to let go of Jay as he cleared his throat. "Back working together, I mean…"

If Jay's cheeks weren't already flushed, they had to be now.

"Right, yeah, it is…" Jay said. "Aren't you going to eat that?" he asked, pointing at the forgotten confection in Cole's other hand.

Cole's gaze snapped to it as if it had just appeared there. "Oh! This—yeah."

Jay leaned against the counter as Cole stuffed the entire thing in his mouth, leaving smears of frosting and crumbs at the corners, which were swiftly wiped onto the back of his hand and licked clean.

Cole's brow furrowed once he noticed Jay was gawking. "What?"

"Dude, gross." Jay laughed. "You were way too into that thing."

"You're the last person who should be judging me—and I thought you were just getting water and going back to your room," Cole retorted.

"I was when you stopped me," Jay said. "I actually felt pretty special for once."

Cole was quiet for a second, disbelief clear on his face, then spoke in the sincerest of tones: "You are special, Jay."

All the other could get out was a meek, "Oh."

Cole visibly tensed and looked down at his feet. "I guess I don't tell you things like that enough…"

Jay spun around to face the sink—the last thing he wanted was for Cole to look back up and see the stupid, touched, and flustered look on his face—and started to fill up a glass again.

"A… Another one?" Cole asked.

"Just for good measure," Jay replied too quickly. "You're at your most dehydrated after you've just woken up, after all!"

Amusement spread across Cole's face, and he wondered: why wasn't he going to his room? He apologized like he wanted to and ate his snack, so why was he still standing there, just watching Jay gulp down more water?

He was glad his best friend wasn't able to see his mouth pop open and his eyes go wide with a sudden awareness, though he didn't know the thought had only crossed his mind shortly after it did Jay's.

Jay couldn't spend forever standing over the sink refilling a cup trying to wait out Cole, and when he was forced to turn back, they shared this guilty and worried yet somewhat hopeful look, a mess recognizable to the two of them solely because it was like looking into a mirror.

"Um…" Jay sought support from the counter again and brought his hands up to his chest to nervously fiddle with. His eyes darted everywhere but Cole's.

Cole told himself to go back to bed. Instead, he stepped forward, which, in the small kitchen, cleared the distance between them.

"You're special, Jay," he said softly, cupping his face. "I mean it."

Jay's stomach was tumbling and swirling as Cole leaned in closer, pressing him against the counter and lower cabinets, close enough now to share breath. Jay fanned his hands out over Cole's broad chest and pushed, not offering any genuine resistance.

"Cole, I—what are we doing?" Jay sounded more bashful than concerned or confused. "I mean, we were fighting for a long time, I was scared I'd lost my best friend forever, and it's so late right now and I don't think I'm thinking straight, but I kind of like this, and it's like we've come full circle—"

"Jay," Cole said firmly, laughter hanging on his words, "stop talking."

Finally, he leaned down and coupled their lips, swallowing any more words Jay might have had to say. Jay's eyes fell shut as he tilted his head up into the kiss, slow-moving and as sweet as it tasted, though brief. They remained nose-to-nose after parting, hearts practically beating outside themselves. Beneath Jay's palm, Cole's was hammering away, and he seemed a little nervous to keep going, the faintest of blushes visible on his cheeks. Jay pulled him back in and curled his fingers through a mess of black tresses, and Cole dropped his hands to Jay's waist to bring him even closer. They fought back smiles as they kissed more teeth than lip, struggling to keep their laughter quiet.

This is what they had missed so much—a simple and honest connection, a place of safety, someone who inspired Jay to be brave and gave Cole much needed support.

With a surge of confidence, Cole lifted Jay up and was about to set him on the counter to level their height difference when a floorboard in the hall creaked. Cole dropped Jay like a stone as they jumped apart and rushed to face the sound, watching it anxiously.

Nobody.

Jay sighed in relief, shoulders slumping. He smiled shyly at Cole, who gave him an equally sheepish one back.

"Let's… revisit this later?" Cole said as he swept his hair out of his eyes.

Jay tittered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Somewhere a little more private next time?"

"Good idea."