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One of Ivan’s favorite things about Till would probably be how cuddly he is when he’s tired. Nobody would assume him to be the needy type, and Ivan doesn’t blame them, because Till doesn’t like to be seen as dependent or weak.
He has spent so much time building up that persona that Ivan would honestly be offended on Till's behalf if they expected that from him. However, Till is a completely different person when he’s sleepy, the years of neglecting any vulnerability fades away, and Ivan loves it.
Till gets overwhelmed and agitated easily, the way he decompresses is through physical touch. Ivan had actually been the one to help him discover that fact when they were still at Anakt, but they only made it a mutual habit since arriving at the rebellion.
He doesn’t like being talked to or asked questions when he’s in a mood, but when Ivan is sitting on the couch alone and typing on his laptop, Till squeezes close, waiting silently until Ivan is finished to be given attention.
Which Ivan loves so much but would never admit to Till because he would probably never do it again. He has to appreciate these things quietly.
He feels kind of guilty for enjoying his boyfriend’s stress response. Of course he doesn’t like seeing the person he loves upset or struggling, he just values that when Till is stressed, he expresses his emotions and needs more directly, his needs just so happen to be Ivan’s wants.
It saves Ivan the time of guessing what Till needs and it makes him less likely to be rejected because even when he wants it, Till doesn’t like being hugged, only when he halfway initiates it. When Till really needs support, this worry seems to wash away.
Till has been having a rough time recently, he’s been having constant nightmares and unwanted flashbacks. He’s like a zombie, trudging through his days tired with not many productive thoughts running through his head.
Isaac keeps sending him home early from the bar they both work at, which puts Till in an even worse mood for being a burden but makes Ivan delighted because he’s still recovering and Hyuna won’t let him work yet.
Since he’s stuck cooped up doing nothing all day, it’s nice when his roommate comes back early.
When Till gets back to their shared room after a long day, he changes out of his work clothes then immediately flops onto the bed next to Ivan. They cuddle while Ivan ignores the scent of cheap booze clinging onto boyfriend’s skin and after Till is feeling slightly more energized, they take baths together.
He looks forward to bathtime now that his boyfriend takes baths with him.
Usually the sound of water splashing in the silent bathroom makes him cringe, plus it's hard to wash his own hair with the limited mobility of his still-healing shoulder, but Till washes his hair now and Ivan washes his, so it’s a win-win.
On typical days, they talk in the bath and it’s nothing special yet still joyful and sweet, but occasionally their baths are silent and intimate with the side of Till’s leg leaning on his inner thigh. He would be lying if he said it didn’t drive him crazy.
But Ivan wouldn’t need to lie about it because he knows that Till enjoys bathtime too with the way that he seems refreshed afterwards. When Till seems softer after bathtime, it means that he’s even more cuddly and accepting of touch from him.
Ivan has always been able to pick up Till’s patterns and easily log them in his head, he understands Till inside out.
For example, Till runs hot while Ivan runs cold. He loves absorbing his boyfriend's body heat on cold days, especially since Till never sleeps with a shirt on, only shorts, which satisfies Ivan’s own needy nature of wanting to be inside of Till’s skin.
Usually, Ivan begs Till for affection, but when Till slinks around him on these types of days, it’s like a blessing. He melts every time, giving his boyfriend all of the love and affection he craves is rewarding to him, he enjoys feeling needed.
Every day that Ivan is allowed to cling to Till is a good day, but it’s an even better day when Till leans into his touch. When Till wakes Ivan up from his nightmares, Till leans into all of his touches.
Till had actually requested that Ivan touch him when he’s having a panic attack, he said that it makes him remember where he is and that it brings him a sense of comfort knowing that Ivan is with him and not dead.
It was the most he had learned about Till’s nightmares and also somehow all he needed to know to understand how to help him.
Ivan is above-willing to take care of his boyfriend when he’s scared and hurting, it’s his fault that Till even gets these nightmares, so he would like to think that he comforts him because he owes it to Till, but honestly? He enjoys getting Till’s attention in any way he can.
When Ivan is having a hard day, Till lets him rub his face against his own willingly because he understands it comforts Ivan. He lets him rest his face in the crook of his neck while he breathes him in, and he even lets him stick his ice cold feet in between Till’s thighs to warm them.
They understand each other's needs and allow each other to have their moments when they need it. That's the only reason that Till is only needy with Ivan, because Ivan was needy first.
When Till opens the door of their room with a little extra force than normal, Ivan already understands what kind of day Till is having and lifts a corner of the sheets.
That’s the thing about truly knowing someone, you pick up on their tells. Slight changes don’t seem slight anymore, not when you observe the person closely. And Ivan has never not been overly aware of Till's every move.
He’s not surprised when Till climbs onto him without changing his clothes, he just pulls him in and squeezes until he can feel the tension leave the body resting halfway on top of him.
After a few minutes, Till squeezes back, then after a few more, he sits up against the headboard and Ivan follows.
For a few seconds, Till just looks to the corner of the room and tries to gather his thoughts. Ivan doesn’t push, talking has been difficult for Till since arriving here, he still uses his notepad as his main form of communication, but he’s been talking to Ivan more and more since he woke up.
“I always find a way to embarrass myself,” he starts, “everyone else is just normal but I-” his voice cracks. Taking a deep breath, he continues, “today, I was cleaning off a table at the bar, and when I turned around-”
“You were there- but it wasn’t you, it was just a random dude in a white suit.” Ivan looks at Till while his face screws up, he's still looking at the same corner of the room and avoiding Ivan's gaze. “He didn’t even look like you but I still couldn’t breathe, I ran away in front of Isaac and he had to stop serving drinks to help me get my shit together. Do you understand how embarrassing that is? They’ve all been so nice to me throughout my shit and I keep-”
“I keep making their jobs harder.” A tear dropped down to his chin as he turned to Ivan, still slightly shaking with emotion.
Ivan knows that Till gets upset when he’s given words of comfort or understanding, so instead he just moves. Sliding out of bed, he enters the bathroom and starts running the water patiently.
When it’s all filled up, that’s when Ivan pulls Till out of the bed and into the bathroom, stripping both of their clothes before climbing into the bathtub. It’s quiet, but the air is thick with comfort as Ivan is sure to lean into him a little more than usual.
They clean each other and when they’re finished and simply sitting in the warm water, Ivan decides it’s time to break the silence. “I used to need help changing my clothes when I had just woken up.” he starts, Till looks confused but just listens.
“I didn’t want to ask for your help because I was too embarrassed, so Hyuna had to help me because she was the only one available. Hyuna has seen my butt-” Till’s laughter quickly interrupts him, the sound is sharp from the echo of the bathroom walls.
“Ivan, are you serious?” He chokes out, eyes squinted as he turns red in the face. “I mean, yeah, it was one of the most embarrassing things that’s ever happened to me,” Ivan says, not laughing along.
It does help a little to share his own secrets, but he knows it helps Till even more with the way he seems to have forgotten all about earlier.
“Oh my god, Ivan.” Till says, with a small admiring smile on his face, “and now you’re taking a bath with me, you could’ve saved yourself the trouble.” He nudges Ivan with his elbow, looking at him more openly this time.
“I would do it again if it meant I could relive this moment one more time.” Is what flows out of Ivan's mouth, he can’t help his cheesy nature, Till likes it deep down somewhere.
Instead of curling his lip and telling Ivan that what he said is stupid, he looks into his eyes more intensely, face shifting. “You know what?” He moves a little closer to his boyfriend and presses their noses together for a moment before kissing him.
Something that Ivan had been asking Till to try for a long time but was never granted access because of round 6. Ivan had quit asking, but this is everything Ivan will ever need, his new favorite thing about Till.
The initial kiss was short, but it was the first of many to be had that night, so Ivan knows he’s not the only one who enjoys it.
