Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

I have been having nightmares for quite some time now. I started having them since I woke up, alone, in the Hail Mary, the visions showing me memories I didn't remember, but that still terrorised me.

However, because I barely slept and was kinda busy—you know, saving the universe and all—they only happened from time to time.

When Rocky and I arrived on Erid, the Eridians were so welcoming and even made him a sick biodome to live in, and I settled the nightmares increased.

They mocked me, reminding me of everything that I left behind, but also of how I was betrayed.

Nope. Don't think of that.

Anyway, the thing is that they slowed down a bit after scaring Rocky half to death during a sleepover, and the eridian forced me to talk about my feelings...

And then Adrian made me do it every week...

In sessions of one hour...

And I may or may not have cried sometimes...

Yes, I am being forced to do space therapy.

I feel so hypocritical every time. I hate confronting my own emotions, even when I always tell my kids how important it is.

Getting back to the topic of my nightmares, lately, they are different. Rather than my own memories attacking me, they are more... abstract?

I know they are night terrors, because I have the sensation of drowning while I see and hear things I don't remember when I wake up, drenched in sweat.

"What is Grace thinking about, question?" Fudge, I spaced out.

"Huh?" I say, very smartly.

"Grace stare at wall for long time. Grace do that when thinking. Adrian say if too long then possibly bad thinking."

Rocky came for another sleepover. We have them pretty regularly, where I show him another beautiful piece of human media, and he asks questions and complains the entire time.

"No, I—it's nothing, Rocky."

"Rocky don't need Adrian to know that is lie."

"You guys are too smart for being a bunch of spider rocks."

Rocky stares at me. Despite not having a face, I know him enough to perfectly tell that he is holding up a retort.

"Grace grumpy. Grace sleep adequately, question?"

"Yes." Sadly, he knows me too.

"Grace sleep," the eridian says, moving out of the couch.

"What?"

He pushes me, trying to guide me to my bed while chanting "Sleep. Sleep. Sleep."

"Okay, okay, fine. But you owe me a movie tomorrow morning."

"Grace Rocky watch all absurd human movies Grace wants. Grace sleep now, Rocky watch. Grace safe, statement."

I know.

Not that I would say that out loud, no need to feed his big ego.

"Good night."

"Night, Grace."

Pull me up!

It's not worth it

Ready to do some good, Convict?

I didn’t know

And then I'll be free?

There's something down here!

WHY ARE YOU WORTHY!?

You don't even know my name!

Simon

I just want to live

Is that so wrong?

Why doesn't anybody want that?

SIMON

Simon

"Simon!" I wake up with a start. I don't feel like drowning anymore, but my breathing doesn't slow down. "Grace. Grace hurt, question? Grace nightmare again, question?"

"I—give me a second." I try to control my breathing with those techniques that I was taught once.

"Nightmare about Earth, question? Nightmare about Stratt, question? Stupid Earth human bad bad bad. They don't deserve Grace."

I finally got my breath under control. Nevertheless, my mind cannot stop spiralling. Simon? Who is Simon? This is the first time I remember something from those weird dreams.

And it was not an enjoyable experience.

Rocky is still fussing around me, getting increasingly louder when I don’t respond.

"Grace need Adrian?"

"No! It's just... I had a weird dream. It was so real, but it wasn't about me. I think I was someone else."

"That make no sense."

I glanced at my clock; it was almost time to get up anyway.

"It doesn’t matter," I sigh, climbing out of the bed. "Let's get breakfast."

There's an insistent knocking on the door—it's rather more like a banging, but eridians have not perfected yet the art of knocking softly; maybe they do it on purpose.

We are watching The Wizard of Oz. Rocky isn't appreciating it to its fullest because of his color blindness, but regardless, we are entertained.

I should've been suspicious when I stopped the movie to open the door, and the eridian stayed silent.

Behind it is Adrian. Of course.

"Heeey, how are you, Adrian? What brings you here? Wanna watch some movies with us?"

"Rocky said Grace feel bad. Grace talk to Adrian."

Traitor.

"We were watching movies the whole time, how did you even—?"

"Rocky won't tell."

I take a deep breath, running my hands over my face, displacing my glasses.

"Look, I'm so grateful that you guys worry about me, but I'm fine. I had a weird dream, it's noth—"

Grace

Find us, Grace

Find him

Save him

AT-5

Blood ocean

Everything hurts. My head feels like it's about to explode. My skin feels on fire. I might be on the floor yelling. The only thing getting through the pain is the distressed chirps of the two eridians around me.

The only relief is the sweet bliss of unconsciousness.

I have to save him.

That's the first thought that comes to mind when I wake up. Just like this morning, I startle from the bed, although now I have a purpose and get up immediately. I have to do something.

"Grace hurt, statement! Grace need to go back to bed!" Rocky thrilled with a high note, trying to grab my pants to pull me back.

"Will chain Grace to bed if necessary," Adrian added.

"Guys, this is important. I—I, someone talked to me," I start pacing around the house, while the worried aliens follow me.

"Rocky Adrian did."

"No, no, no, in my dream, and I think they were human. I don’t remember everything exactly, but they felt desperate and alone, just like I was in the Hail Mary."

"Grace only human in Erid. No other humans around in entire system."

"I know, but..." I sigh—I have been doing that a lot today—lean on a wall and slide down. "I'm sorry, it felt so real."

Rocky and Adrian sit on both my sides, making sure they press against me to ground me.

"Rocky understands. Grace misses other humans."

I feel terrible. The eridians have given me so much, and they care about me, and it's still not enough.

He felt so real.