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It was 15th December. The country was covered in white soft blanket, breeze cold and making the strong tall trees sway. laugh The children's laughter slowly faded as their mothers called them home. They had spent hours in the snow, and the moon had long since risen, while the sun had disappeared, its gentle caressing rays on their faces as well.
The day was normal like no other, cold but not unwelcoming. But it held different meaning for the older man in the black coat.
Neil Perry walked through the breathtaking scenery. It beautiful. Just like from painting. His boots dig into the snow with crunch as he took the path splitting the fields.
He stared up on the dark sky, white spots scattered across. Clear sky for stargazing. Just from the moment he could spot, constellations such as Orion, Taurus, the Pleiades star cluster, Capella star of Auriga constellation, and oh, even his favorite constellation- Gemini. Neil always loved the story behind the name.
The story of twins, Pollux and Castor. Castor was mortal, Pollux was immortal The brothers were inseparable. When Castor died, Pollux was devastated and begged Zeus to let them stay together. Zeus answered by placing them in the sky as a constellation, so they could remain united forever. He remembered the first time he borrowed Star Names- Their Lore and Their Meaning by Richard Hinckley Allen from Welton’s library. His fascination and love for the night sky was born the day he opened that book and has lasted to this day.
Neil loved the winter.
He loved the snow, the way it covered the landscape, creating beautiful picture like a dream.
He loved his work, loved the atmosphere of the theater, he loved the smell of centuries-old wood, the excited whispering backstage, all the giggles every time someone made a mistake in their lines, or how they looked at Neil with anticipation and pride in their eyes when they finally managed to play the whole scene.
He loved the children’s laugh he heard on his way from work, so innocent and loud, the world pass around them in blur of childlike happiness.
He loved air, how fresh it was, how it tickled his nose and filled his lungs with an endless sense of peace.
Neil Perry loved life.
And the memory of exact same 15th December, but 34 years ago, Neil attempted to take his life.
15th December 1959 was the day Neil thought he will see the night sky for the last time.
He lowered his gaze and his gaze fell on the house just few steps in front of him. There was soft, yellow light coming through the window at the first floor. The curtains covered the window, but Neil could see a siluette moving behind them. He let out a shaky breath and quickened his pace- it was getting really cold.
The garden was covered in white as well. During summers, Neil loved spending time on the bench right under cherry tree. Dare he say, it was one of his favorite places, and best place for daydreaming. He opened the gate, which creaked with rust, making horrible sound in the peacefulness of the night. Fishing out the keys from his pocket, he ran over the three stairs to the porch and the front door.
Neil pushed the door open quietly, inhaling the comforting smell of home. He groped for the switch in the dark and a small light came on in the hallway.
The house was silent, the only sound the ticking clock in the kitchen. Neil sighed as he took off his coat and hung it on a hanger next to the other, chestnut coat. He kicked off his boots and slid them onto the doormat.
The hallway was narrow and its walls were full of paintings and photos. He knew them all by heart, he hung them there himself. All the important moments of the last 34 years were captured in photos and paintings in this hallway, or scattered around the house as a study, another hallway, the living room or the bed shelf.
But it was the hallway that smelled the most nostalgic.
Neil padded quietly into the kitchen. The kitchen was small but cozy. It held everything he needed.
From an old wooden cabinet he selected a ceramic mug with green dots. It was his favorite mug, whether for tea or water. He reached over to the sink and turned on the faucet.
He looked at the clock hanging on the opposite wall.
It was fifteen minutes before midnight.
He raised the mug to his lips and closed his eyes as he drank, the cool liquid running down his throat.
With a clink he set down the mug, turned off the light and headed for the stairs. As Neil climbed up, his hands started unbuttoning the shirt. He stepped up on the rug of the hallway and reached for doorknob to the main bedroom, opening the door and walking in.
The hallways at the front door was nostalgic. The kitchen was cozy. But the bedroom was a whole new chapter. There was a bay window, in which he used to write poems, scenes or just look at the garden. The wardrobe, reaching the ceiling. Bookshelf which held all his favorite books, from poems of Oscar Wilde, to the Chronicles of Narnia. But the absolute best was the bed in the middle of the room, and the man lying on it.
Once dirty blonde hair were now traced with few gray, and reached almost his shoulders. The deep blue eyes in which Neil always melted, making him think of the Atlantic Ocean he once crossed when he left to England- where he decided to stay. The soft lips, the lines on his face that showed with time.
Despite the length of his hair, the new lines on his face, nothing changed Neil’s love for Todd Anderson.
Todd was half-lying, half-sitting on the bed, perched up on the pillow behind his back. He was holding a book- Good Omens by Terry Pratchett, his before bedtime ritual, had not been reading for a long time since Neil entered the room.
“And here I was contemplating about sending a search party.” He said, the sarcasm there, but Neil knew Todd was not angry.
“What can I say? Difficult is the life of a drama teacher.” Neil pretended to swoon, earning a scoff from the man in the bed. He pulled the shirt off and carefully folded it on the chair.
“You know it’s almost midnight, you lunatic?”
Neil let out a hum as he put on his pajamas. “Time was invented by clock companies to sell more clocks, dear.”
The younger man set aside his book and pushed himself up properly. “Strange invention. It seems to work for you perfectly when it comes good for you.”
“Guilty as charged.” Neil shot him a toothy grin. Just like 34 years ago. He leaned forward, hand coming on Todd’s jaw and brushed his lips lightly against his temple, pressing there a soft kiss.
The other man’s eyes fluttered close for a second and his lips slightly parted as he let out a contented sigh. Neil smiled the skin and continued pressing series of kisses on his temple.
Todd reached out and his hand found the back of Neil’s neck, pulling him impossibly close. He stood up slowly, his other hand on his partner’s back, pulling back. Neil stopped and pulled slightly away too, pang of confusion. That, fortunately didn’t last long, because not even a minute and Todd was pressing his lips against Neil’s.
Now Neil’s eyes fluttered shut. He melted into the kiss, his lips gently brushing against Todd’s in familiar dance. Todd tasted of their peppermint toothpaste. Carefully, not breaking the kiss, he wrapped his arms around the blonde. The older man felt the other nudge him with nose and he chuckled. He pecked Todd’s lips again, and then again, his nose nudging younger man’s.
They parted away resting foreheads against each other before Todd put his head down on Neil’s shoulder.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
For some reason, those words tugged at Neil’s heart. He was glad we was here.
He was glad he missed his head 34 years ago.
He was glad there was only one bullet after he tried again.
He was glad he and Todd decided to run away.
He was glad that the other Poets stood up against Mr. Nolan, using everything Mr. Keating taught them.
He was glad that he left USA, made enough money in short time for plane tickets to Great Britain.
He was glad he decided he really wanted to be an actor, and with Todd’s help, made it come true.
He was glad he had Todd, his life, his sun, his other half, his soulmate and got to live with him and share all his happiness with him.
He was glad he got to witness Knox’s wedding and see his children grow, Todd’s first published book, Meeks and Pitts’ inventions seeing it’s fame, Charlie playing saxophone and teaching his own kids Carpe Diem.
He was glad he and the Poets still met from time to time, having once a while old-times meetings, and used to call Mr. Keating to join them.
He was glad he was now doing a drama teacher for all the kids in theatre. Letting the legacy pass on to the new generation.
And Neil was glad. He had wonderful life, wonderful partner, wonderful story.
“I’m glad too.” He kissed Todd once more and then tugged him to the bed. The blonde chuckled softly and sat down, putting Neil’s glasses off his nose, setting them aside.
“Sleepy much?” He smiled, fingers tracing the lines on his lover’s face and Neil leaned in.
“Mhhmm.” Neil hummed and looked at Todd, who was looking at him with all love and tenderness that could possibly fit in expression. “You should be sleepy too.”
Todd let out a hearty but still quiet laugh. “Oh believe me, I am very sleepy. Waiting for you to return home is very exhausting.”
He put his hand down and instead he pulled up the covers over them. Neil laid down and turned to his side, watching as Todd reached for the bed light lamp and suddenly, there was only dark.
Even in the dark, he could feel his partner shift on the matress. From all the years of sleeping in one bed with him, Neil knew Todd will end up facing the wardrobe. Scooting closer he put his arm around Todd’s waist, his hand spreading on his warm stomach.
He pressed his lips against his cheek. “Goodnight, my love. Sleep sound and well.”
It was 15th December 1993, and Neil Perry would never thought about putting a gun against his head now.