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I woke up in a dark room.
"You are awake. Question."
The voice was robotic and immediately set me on edge. Who was that? Did they not want me to hear their real voice? Where was I?
... Who was I?
I sat up in bed, and a light turned on behind me. The room was still too dark, but I was able to make out the shapes of ominous unknown machines lining the walls. I tried to swing my legs over the edge of the bed to stand up, but there were metal bars in the way, caging me in. Oh no. No no no I did not like being trapped.
"Grace. Grace. Grace. Calm down." The robot voice said blandly. I ignored it and started to struggle my way to standing on the bed. I felt so weak and dizzy. What had been done to me? Where was I? Who was keeping me here? Questions upon questions with no good answers.
"Grace. Please. Sit down. Grace you are going to hurt yourself. Everything is okay you are safe Grace. Grace stop."
The robot kept saying "Grace" in a way that suggested it was my name. Noted. I hooked my legs over the bed railing, sat balanced on it for a moment and slid carefully down until my feet touched the floor. I was expecting it to be freezing cold, but instead it was crazy warm, like I'd just shoved my feet next to a campfire. It felt good. The rest of me was really cold.
I wobbled my way across the room and tried to find the handle on the door. It didn't have a handle on this side.
Someone was keeping me here against my will. I banged on the door with my fists, much weaker than I would have liked. I took stock off my body: I felt awful.
"What did you do to me?" I demanded, looking around to try to find the source of the voice.
"You are sick. You have run out of safe food. We are working to make safe food as fast as we can. What you are eating right now has side effect of memory loss. We are trying to help you Grace. I promise we want to help." It all seemed to come from a hole in the wall on the opposite side of the room.
"Why can't I leave?" I demanded. My voice shook.
"There is no other safe environment. Door leads to airlock between human safe atmosphere and unsafe atmosphere. We are working to expand the safe places for you. Please do not be scared."
"What unsafe atmosphere?" I demanded. I crossed the room to inspect the hole in the wall, nearly tripping over a cord in the process. "Where am I? Who are you? Why am I here?"
"You are on planet Erid in star system 40 Eridani. I am-"
"No no no." I mumbled, shaking my head. "No. No. No. No." The hole was too dark to see through. I wrenched the light off the wall and held it towards the hole, pressing my face close to peek through. I saw--
A spider. A massive spider, the size of a large dog, typing frantically on a laptop. It paused and shifted and although I couldn't see its eyes I had the feeling it was looking right at me. I threw myself back away from the wall again, trembling in every limb.
"Grace. Grace. Listen. I am Rocky. This is name you gave me. I know you don't remember. I know I am scary alien. But we are friends. We are best friends. You are safe Grace."
I shook my head and sank to the floor, crying silently. "What do you want from me?" I pleaded.
"I want you safe and healthy. That is all. I am sorry situation is scary. I am working as hard as I can to make it better. You need good food. You need food that nourish body and no confuse mind. You need safe places to go to leave room. I understand. I am working. It takes time."
I closed my eyes tight and tried to believe that. It didn't make sense. What kind of food would cause memory loss? How did I end up on an alien planet, if that was even possibly true? Had I been kidnapped, abducted? That spider had looked unlike any creature I'd ever seen in my life. Was that really an alien?
"I don't even remember who I am," I choked out.
"You are Ryland Grace. You are bravest smartest human I ever meet."
"Not believable." Brave? I was shivering and crying in a pile on the floor. Smart? I couldn't even remember my own name.
"Is true. You are brave brave brave. You save my life many time. You risk your life to save my life. You save Earth. You save my planet Erid. Grace hero. Hero hero hero."
"But-"
"No finished. You are smart. You are scientist. You are teacher. You explain many things to me. You explain radiation. Explain relativity. Explain colors. You find way to breed microbes to resist nitrogen. Smart. You constantly adapting to overcome obstacle. Like bed rail. You wake up and barely look at bed rail and find way around. Inconvenient. But smart."
I guess whoever I am, I must be self centered, because hearing this alien butter me up and sing my praises did make me calm down. I wiped tears away and tried to take deep breaths.
"What did you say your name was?"
"I am Rocky."
"Tell me about yourself, Rocky."
"I am Eridian engineer. Not good at science but good at making things. You say I look like Earth animal spider. You name me after rocky carapace. I am much older than you. Eridians live much longer time. I was alone for a long time before we met. You rescued me. Together we found solution to problem with both our stars. Rocky Grace save Earth and Erid. Rocky Grace friends friends friends."
"Friends," I repeated. I exhaled. My head was starting to hurt. I wanted to believe. My body ached down to my bones, which were too close to the skin. Why was I so thin?
"Grace get back in bed request. I come in and bring laptop and food. You watch movie help calm down. You eat get back strength. Okay question."
"Woah, hang on." I said, holding a hand up even though it probably couldn't see me. "You want me to eat what? More of that stuff that's making me lose my mind?"
A long pause. "Yes. But is necessary. Grace starve if not eat."
"I don't want to," I said firmly. "I don't want to wake up tomorrow and not remember anything again. There's got to be something else."
"Is nothing else. Trip to Erid take much time. Grace went through all rations. Grace move on to coma slurry. Go-"
"Move on to WHAT?"
"Coma slurry. Bad taste but nutitious. Meant to sustain person in coma. Grace eat all normal coma slurry. Grace only left with taumoeba--algae with empty calories, no nutrients, disgusting taste--or drug laced coma slurry."
"I've been DRUGGED?"
"Grace know and agree when still had memory. Scientists trying to find way to remove drug from coma slurry. Other scientists trying to find any native Erid life no toxic for you. Other other scientists trying to clone your muscle into meat. Many people working on many solutions. None working yet. Grace eat taumoeba many weeks but health begin declining rapidly without nutrients. Coma slurry safest food."
"I don't want to eat anything described as a slurry! I don't want to take any mind altering drugs!"
A long, long silence. My legs ached from sitting on the floor. I slowly picked myself up and moved to the bed. After a few moments of fiddling with the bed rail, I found a way to lower it so I could get back on the bed.
"Grace dying. Statement. Rocky scared. Statement."
I buried my face in my hands.
It probably wasn't wrong. I felt like I was dying. I felt so weak. Everything hurt. As soon as I picked my feet off the floor my body felt cold. I pressed a hand to my chest and I could feel my ribs jutting up just below the skin. I felt my stomach shift queasily. When I focused on it I felt so hungry I was nauseous.
"I'm scared," I told Rocky. "I'm so scared."
"I will protect. I will be here whole time until you are healthy again."
"What if... what if it's permanent?" I swallowed. "What if I never remember anything again?"
"Grace took drug in the past. Once stopped, memories returned. You will be okay. You are safe. I will protect. You just need survive little longer."
I pressed my palms against my eyelids until I could see shapes and colors. I breathed.
"What's the movie?"
"Your choice. Grace always choose. I am not familiar with any movies unless we watched them together."
"Yeah? Did we have a lot of movie nights, you and me?"
"Yes. Have seen over 200 movies with Grace. Request no watch Momento right now. Anything else good."
I laughed. The alien had jokes. How about that.
“Will you be scared if I enter room question.”
I took a deep breath. This alien spider was being so strangely gentle with me. It had spoken of me kinder than I would have spoken about myself, that’s for sure. And man, if this was an actual alien creature, I was curious. Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back.
“You can come in,” I said.
“Good good good coming in.” I heard a creak from behind me and turned to look at the wall with the hole in it again. Part of the wall opened up, and in stepped the spider.
I could see now that it was in some kind of spider spacesuit. That made sense, presumably it belonged to the “not safe atmosphere” I wasn’t allowed to enter. It approached me slowly, like it was trying not to spook me. It gently placed the laptop on the bed. The laptop was open to a folder that had…wow. Pretty much everything. Everything I had ever seen or heard of.
“Where did you get this?” I asked it.
To my surprise, the spider sang a few chords of music to me. The laptop spoke over it in English. “It is yours. Humans put all of their media on it in case it was helpful.”
“Is that your voice?” I asked. “Wait, hang on–” I pressed the mute key on the laptop. “Say something.”
The spider hesitated, then made a little more music. I closed my eyes and listened hard.
It was almost familiar. Almost. I felt like I should be able to understand it, but I couldn’t. I quickly became frustrated. My headache was getting worse. I wanted to understand. This was something I should be able to do. Come on…
The spider tapped the mute button on the laptop. “No understand me causes distress. Have tried before. Makes your head hurt. Use computer is better.”
I slumped over a little bit, disappointed. “Oh.”
“Choose movie. Maybe something fun.”
I scrolled through the list. What kind of movie did I want to show an alien? Probably nothing with aliens in it…humans tended to make movies where aliens were the villains. Except E.T. But I wasn’t in the mood to cry again. I wanted to watch something lighthearted.
“Back to the Future.” I announced.
“Can I join on bed question.” The spider said. It put one arm up on the bed and then waited stock-still for me to answer.
“Uh.” Well. In for a penny, in for a pound. “Sure?”
It scrambled onto the bed with remarkable grace and plopped down by my side.
“You are so warm,” I told it. I could feel the heat radiating off it.
“You are so cold,” it countered.
I thought about it. “I am so cold,” I agreed. The heat was nice. It was helping my sore muscles relax a little.
“Sometimes you like to hug me but many times lately too scared. If you want hug I am here.”
“I’ll…think about it.” I said uncertainly. I put the movie on.
By the time the credits rolled, I had my arms wrapped around the spider. I was so freaking cold without it. Probably some combination of having no body fat and anemia from vitamin deficiencies.
“What did you think?” I asked it.
“Fun movie. Doctor with big hair who yells reminds me of old science teacher.”
“Hah. You’ll have to tell me about them sometime.” Not that I’d remember it, I thought, and my smile faded.
“You will try eat now request. Please.”
I sighed. “I’ll…” I steeled myself. “...try.”
“Good good good thank. Wait here please.” The spider wriggled out of my arms, hopped off the bed and rushed back to the other room. It returned with an erlenmeyer flask full of some kind of disgusting off-white…slurry. I was immediately having second thoughts.
“You’re sure this is the only thing I can eat?” I asked again, a little desperate.
“Yes. Sorry.”
“How soon does it kick in?” I asked softly. “How long will I still remember you once I finish drinking it?”
The spider shifted from one foot to another as though it was uncomfortable. “Unsure. Usually you fall asleep soon after finishing. Drug may also have sedative effects.”
“Okay.” I said. “Okay.” I was psyching myself up to do this. Come on, Grace. Just plug your nose and shoot it like it’s a shot of everclear and you’re trying to impress a girl at college. Do it to keep yourself alive. Do it for the scared alien spider.
I took one long drink, as long as I could go without breathing. “That’s not so-” I began, and then I let go of my nose and dry heaved at the taste.
“Grace. Grace. Grace. Keep inside. Do not expel. Food important. Grace need food.” The spider was hopping around like crazy, but the robot voice was as calm as ever. It would have been funny if not for the situation.
“I’m trying!” I moaned. I hung my head over the side of the bed and dry heaved again. I swallowed again and again, trying to get the taste out of my mouth. In a moment of true desperation, I licked at my arm to try to scrape my tongue off.
“Still one third left. You can do it exclamation.”
“I can’t,” I whined.
“Grace doing so good Grace going to eat all the food and become healthy again. So good just one third left and Grace can sleep. Please.”
My eyes were watering. Before I could change my mind, I raised the flask back up to my lips and slammed the rest of it. I gagged, choked, and a little bit came back up into my mouth but I swallowed and swallowed and swallowed until it stayed down.
“Can I have some water?” I asked, and the spider immediately traded the flask for a coffee mug full of water. I gargled it to try to wash everything down.
“Yes yes yes good good good Grace is the best at eating. Grace going to get better again. Grace do so good eating gross slurry. Grace eat slurry means Grace stay alive.” The spider was doing something like an endzone dance. I watched it in a daze.
“Will you…” it stopped and even though I couldn’t see any eyes, I could tell that its focus was back on me. I almost chickened out. “Will you stay with me until I fall asleep? Please?”
“I will stay. I will stay whole time. I will go back to observation room when you are asleep so you no wake up with scary spider alien in bed. But I no leave until Grace healthy. Promise.”
It crawled back up into bed with me, and I wrapped my arms around it and breathed deeply. “Thank you, Rocky.” I mumbled. I was already feeling sleepy.
It made a deep, soothing rumbling noise, and that’s the last thing I remember.