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"...were you aware of Yoichi's involvement with your search party?"
The question came out softly; breaking the silence. Michael hadn't intended to say it out loud—his thoughts felt like they were all over the place. However, the words have already been laid out to be acknowledged. So Michael put down his quill and turned around to look at the Vi—Captain. The Captain.
Kunigami Rensuke.
Isagi Yoichi is no longer the bearer of that title. For he has been laid to rest.
Eternally.
and in the end, Michael would never be able to see him don that uniform ever again.
Michael shook his head—not wanting to delve too deeply into those thoughts. Instead, he chose to focus on the man beside him. The knight stared back at him, head tilted towards him in acknowledgement. His features were unreadable to Michael—he had never really quite bothered to get to know his lover's close circle before—as he processed the question.
"...Hyoma told me that he was the one leading it." He confessed.
"..mhm, that's right."
Having his question answered, Michael went ahead and turned back to his work. He wasn't really sure why he asked—he already knew that the knight was aware of all the details. And yet, Michael found himself wanting to hear the man's side regarding his incident—he needs to know that this will all be worth it. please, it just has to be.
He doesn't know what he'll do if everything he's doing will all be for naught.
Michael continued on working. But his mind still felt like it was in a different place—memories of Yoichi creeping in against his will while his hand was jotting down things like it was second nature. He could feel the gaze being directed at him; contemplative. But he kept quiet, waiting for the knight to gather his thoughts.
"..why are you asking, Your Majesty?" Kunigami said carefully—trying to gauge if he's crossing the line.
"Nothing, it's just—" Michael let out a wry laugh. "...it hit me now suddenly that.. now I'm the one in this position. And I... I just– I never could've imagined just how fucking torturous this whole thing would be." He choked out.
Michael looked at the papers laid out in front of him; potential leads that can perhaps finally help solve the mysteries surrounding his Moon's sudden departure from his life—like puzzle pieces waiting to be arranged to form a picture that is the truth. Michael felt his eyes start stinging but he squeezed them shut, stubbornly trying to keep the tears down. He refused to show vulnerability to the man next to him—Yoichi had been the only one he felt safe enough with to keep his walls down. But despite that, Michael was never able to bare his heart out for the other to take it.
And by the time he was able to, he had been far too late.
Kunigami stood there hesitantly, not quite knowing what to do. He never felt that connected to the Crown Prince despite him being the person he swore his allegiance to. And yet... he found himself thinking back to Isagi—his baby brother—and all of the reasons he had listed out on why he loved the man before him. For all the annoyance he felt and insults that he threw against him in jest, it didn't change the fact that Isagi adored Kaiser. And it was with this sudden realization that it hit him, the Prince is and will be the strongest connection he will ever have to his brother now.
and Rensuke would be a fool to lose it.
He found himself unable to keep still, taking a small step forward towards the Prince. His head held low but still keeping his gaze steady. "..can I perhaps hear more, Your Majesty?" Kunigami asked—a subtle plea.
Michael turned back to look at the knight, who was staring at him through his lashes. His face was blank yet Michael could see the subtle tremors his body was making, his hands shaking just ever so slightly—betraying his nerves.
He usually doesn't have the patience to entertain people, his temper getting the best of him most of the time. He found it easier to just dismiss them—not wanting to deal with the hassle. And yet.. Meeting his eyes, Michael felt like he didn't have it in him to deny him. Not when all he can see are the traces of his beloved that the knight carried within him.
He couldn't bear to think about failing Yoichi again, knowing how much his silence had cost him.
Michael let out a hollow laugh.
"..it's not exactly a pretty story."
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
"You are aware he's probably dead at this point right?"
Cruel.
That's the only word to describe the shit he had just spat out.
The words came out so harsh. Michael hadn't meant for it to sound so cruel. He was a creature of malice—being mean is second nature to him. And yet.. as he looked at the state his Moon was in, he found himself feeling guilty. Yoichi was already dealing with so much and here Michael was just adding more pain to deal with.
All he's ever capable of doing is making things worst.
Yoichi stopped and looked up from what he was doing, gazing back at him. Even though he looked so worn out—papers surrounded him, his appearance unkempt with bags under his eyes from the all the times he sacrificed sleep just to continue working on this case. And still, his eyes remained gentle. kind.—he still looked at Michael softly, forever so patient with him.
'I don't deserve him.'
He quickly looked down to the side as he clenched his fists tightly—feeling extremely frustrated with himself. He couldn't bare to maintain his gaze, feeling small underneath Yoichi's gentle demeanor in contrast to his brash behavior.
Michael had never felt more ashamed of himself.
"...yes. I'm aware that's most likely the case Mihya." Yoichi admitted—a resigned smile adorning his face.
"..then why?" Michael asked perplexed, his features pinched together to form a frown. He didn't say more—trying his best to hold his tounge down. But one look at his expression and the question was so obvious to the other.
'Why spend so much effort on a person who will never be able to see the fruits of your labor?'
It was now Yoichi's turn to look away while he contemplated his answer. Eyes drifting close as he ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to fix his messy appearance. Despite the situation, Michael couldn't help but think about how pretty Yoichi looked.
Yoichi let out a breath. "...I will not lie and say that I don't have any hopes of Ren being alive." he started. "However, deep down... I think I have already accepted his fate." He confessed with a tearful smile. Michael wanted to come close and wipe those tears away but his feet stubbornly stayed in place. Instead, Yoichi simply wiped them off himself, gazing back at him with fierce eyes—Metallic Blue, forever his favorite shade.
"So why am I doing this? ...I think my simplest answer to that is because I want to lay him to rest here—peacefully. Here in the comfort of his family."
Yoichi looked down at his hands, fiddling around with his fingers. "I know that sounds naive and idealistic.. perhaps maybe even childish" He chuckled wetly. "But the idea of him being alone out there... never knowing what happened to him.. I don't thin–I would never be able to live with myself if I made peace with that, Mihya." Yoichi said tearfully, voice laced with grief as he looked at a small frame perched in his desk. A portrait he drew of him alongside his friends.
Meguru, Hyoma & Ren.
His family.
Michael felt his chest tighten at the sight—an emotion he couldn't recognize. He didn't know what to do with it nor how to comfort Yoichi and he didn't like it at all. Michael had never been able to deal with negative feelings all that well; usually manifesting itself in the form of brash words and a cruel demeanor.
"But in the end, the dead know nothing Yoichi." He blinked.
no.
Yoichi snapped his head, looking back at him—doe eyes wide and startled.
Right now, Michael wanted nothing more than to run out of this room and never show his face ever again.
He didn't mean to say that. Michael hadn't intended to say that. And while it's true that he doesn't truly understand his lover's motivations yes—but that didn't mean he wanted question Yoichi. His Yoichi. Who is sweet and kinder than he'll ever dream of being. But the words tumbled out of his mouth without meaning to, leaving him wanting to just be swallowed up whole by the ground.
"...I-I'm sorry, I–just forget that i said anything." He stammered out.
Yoichi said nothing, slowly standing up from his chair. He made strides towards him—his expression not betraying any of his thoughts. Michael shut his eyes as he tensed, fearing the worst.
'I crossed the line. I fucked up.'
Michael kept his eyes closed, bracing himself for a slap as Yoichi reached him. He stood there waiting with bated breath. But rather than the hit he was anticipating, Michael found his face being cradled gently instead, framed between Yoichi's delicate hands—calloused yet still surprisingly soft. Flinching as soon as his palms made contact with his cheeks. His eyes flew open in shock—pupils frantically trying focus itself at the sight in front of him. Yoichi met his gaze back, looking at him so tenderly that he felt his heart swell in his chest. '
'How can you look at me like that? Like I'm worth everything?'
Before he managed to gather his bearings, Yoichi leaned up—hands still placed on his cheeks—to give a soft fleeting kiss on his lips, rendering Michael still. And whilst he was trying to process the sudden affection, Yoichi took that opportunity to let go of his face to lace his hands behinds his head; Gently bringing him down to whisper in his ear—his breaths slowly ghosting over his skin.
"Selfishly, I pray that you'll never have to understand what I'm going through right now Mihya."
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
"...I guess.. I did end up finding out in the end." Michael whispered ruefully, looking down at his own mess of clues and leads. The same mess that Yoichi once had to deal with.
Kunigami stood there as he quietly tried to process everything the Prince had just told him. His thoughts felt all over the place. Still, one thing rang loud and true amongst all of it.
"..Everything you're doing right now will be worth it, Your Majesty. I'm... I'm sure he would appreciate it." Kunigami said softly.
Michael felt his eyes drop close, a tear slowly falling down his face. "...For his sake, I'm hoping you're right." Michael whispered back.
'Wait for me Yoichi. Please. I vow to uncover the truth.'
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Umbeknownst to the world—Yoichi sat down at the roots of the old tree that had bear witness to both his life and demise. Head perched on his knees that were tucked into his chest; soft wings curling around him—shielding him from the harsh environment that surrounds him. Time passed by as he patiently awaited for his truth to be laid out and set him free—to finally put him to rest.
He has faith that Michael will uncover the secrets behind everything that went dowm.
After all, nothing is impossible for his Sun.
And no matter how long it takes, Yoichi trusts that Michael won't let him down.
He always has been good at waiting anyways.