Chapter Text
A sudden ring of the bell assaulted Alfred’s eardrums, causing him to flinch and sit straight up, exiting his limbo-like state.
He was still barely awake though; nothing unusual after a boring lesson.
Seriously, Alfred thought, as he was searching his backpack for a pack of jellies, the hypnotic state one enters during a boring lesson should really be studied.
He leaned back in his chair, throwing jellies directly into his mouth and smashing virtual keys of his phone’s keyboard.
As usual, multiple people have texted him, for various reasons.
Matthew, his twin brother, with whom he shared more things than he could count, but ironically none of his classes, asked Alfred if he wanted to go to the canteen with him.
Today’s star of the menu was that mushy green pile of what was probably supposed to be spinach, paired with meatballs out of meat of unknown origin, so, really nothing worth looking forward to.
Literally, despite eating it for years, Alfred was STILL unable to determine whose meat that was, which was unsettling to say the least. Perhaps that was the actual reason why his brother became a vegetarian? To skip on the disgusting undercooked flesh? Their father's meals Matthew was getting for lunch instead were definitely better, Alfred had to agree…
But Matthew doesn’t have pizza rolls on Wednesday's and Alfred does, so he'll stick with the canteen food!
Alfred quickly responded to Matthew, said that he’s not hungry and then got right back to scrolling.
It was actually a bit of a lie, as he actually WAS hungry, but the chocolate cookies he had in his bag should be enough for a small lunch.
Alfred obviously wasn’t happy about it, but soon his phone had to get back into his backpack’s front pocket. The break has ended, and he couldn’t risk getting caught using it on the lesson, not on this one.
He already had a slight beef with the teacher, ever since he was caught cheating on an exam.
The teacher normally wouldn’t even care that much, he was sure of it; the real problem was what exactly he got caught searching up.
Yeah, a notice in the register, reading “Alfred was caught searching up whether Brazil is a country in Europe, in the middle of an exam, to the horror of his geography teacher” was definitely a very unique one, so overall, it was worth it.
Alfred laid on his desk, paying just the bare minimum of attention needed to avoid getting scolded for not listening.
The teacher kept rambling about his subject, and Alfred could feel how his eyes were starting to close on their own. He couldn't fall asleep, come on!
He pinched himself slightly, shifting in his chair. His position kept changing every good twenty seconds, for sure acting as if he had pinworms, but as long as the teacher didn't said anything about it, Alfred couldn't care less.
Seriously, the person who decided it's a good idea to force other people to sit 7 hours a day at a desk is so rotting in the deepest depths of hell right now.
He felt almost like crying from joy when the teacher finally finished their rambling and announced they all had to pair up for a group project. A presentation of some sort, Alfred wasn’t sure what exactly, but it didn’t really matter.
All that did matter, on the other hand, was that he could finally move!
Alfred glanced around, his hand on the back of his chair, as he shifted in it, to more or less face the rest of the class. Alright. Time to choose his partner.
Alfred lazily glanced over his whole class, appearing rather calm; almost indifferent. Despite it, his hands started to sweat and he had to remind himself several times to just go for it and lift his ass from the chair and get a partner.
It’s not like he had no one to ask, afterall, he was obviously popular and had many friends.
Alright, perhaps acquaintances was a better word with most of them, but it's not like it mattered.
Alfred has always been an outgoing person, a real social butterfly, so the problem was never in bashiness or anything close; quite the opposite.
The same energetic and loud personality that brought everyone’s attention to him, was the same thing that often pushed others away. To make things worse, Alfred had never made much effort to tone himself down, in any way, so he was definitely an overwhelming presence.
It’s not like that was a bad thing, anyway! Everyone has always been telling him to keep his actions true to his inner self, yet when Alfred was doing exactly that, it was suddenly “too much.”
Stupid hypocrites they all are, nothing more.
Another problem of Alfred was that he simply wasn’t really anyone’s first choice, anyone’s closest friend.
Well, he could count his twin brother as someone who would surely choose him first, right and there, but America wasn’t that desperate yet, come on!
Your own brother being your closest friend? That would sound utterly pathetic! And absolutely not true!
…To be fair, he hasn't called anyone his best friend, since-
…
Alfred stood up from his chair, ignoring the urge to cringe at himself and just hide in a corner for a minute. He just had to quickly find a partner, that’s all.
An easy, completely manageable task which he shouldn’t even pay much attention to.
“Heyyy, Yào!” Alfred swung to the Asian’s desk, but the guy stopped him before he could manage to say anything more.
“Hey, Al. Just so you know, Ivan and I are going to do the project together.” He shrugged and Ivan smiled innocently at Alfred, from behind Yào's shoulder.
Alfred suddenly got a tempting urge to smash his fist right into the Russian’s face.
His cheerful demeanour also dropped just as fast.
“Aha, I literally didn’t even want to ask about it, geez. If you really wanna suck him off at his house thaaat much, no need to announce it, dude.” Alfred quickly tried to hide behind a blunt allusion to something sexual, one of his favourite ways of changing the topic!
“You wish!” Yào just slightly huffed, visibly flustered and slightly disoriented.
Alfred didn't answer, at least verbally. He just showed him his tongue and then sprung away from his desk.
Alright, so not Yào. He turned out to be a Russian-loving traitor, nothing surprising.
Then who the hell was going to be his partner!?
The worst part was that he couldn't just straight up go to everyone who still looked relatively free and ask about it; that would make him look desperate.
And popular, charismatic Alfred F. Jones, who obviously had loads of friends, wasn’t desperate for a class project partner.
Not at all.
His feet traveled as if they had a mind of their own and he arrived at the very back of the classroom.
Today, the two desks placed there were almost empty; both Feliciano and Ludwig were absent.
Which left just one person - Kiku Honda.
Kiku had joined their class barely a week prior, coming from some prestigious academia.
The thing was, he wasn't new here - he just came back.
And before he had left, he and Alfred were definitely closer than some class-made acquaintances.
They sat together on every lesson, shared lunches and would hang out after school almost every day. They weren’t similar in terms of personality, not at all, but the amount of common interests seemed to compensate for that quite well.
Kiku was quieter and much more polite than him, but around Alfred he could be convinced into participating in more exciting (often on the borderline of dangerous) activities, loosening up a little, as the American called it. Alfred, on the other hand, was often held back by Kiku, which saved his behind more times than he could recall.
They were just inseparable, to the point the American included Kiku in all of his ‘“plans” for the future. Said plans were obviously nothing more than childish dreams about huge mansions filled with dogs and crocodiles as pets, but the thought still counts.
Alfred couldn't imagine his future without Kiku, as he couldn't imagine his present without him.
That's why it was so incredibly hard to cope when Kiku had left both of them.
He disappeared rather abruptly. At first he was ill, as far as Alfred knew, remaining sick for around two or three weeks, and then puff, their teachers had to be the ones who told him that Kiku changed schools.
He changed schools and said absolutely nothing about it to his best friend.
Alfred has never felt as betrayed as he did in that moment. He texted him around a hundred times that day, at first worried, then pretty much pissed.
Kiku has left him. Just like that. He left and didn't even look back, as if Alfred meant nothing to him, nothing at all!
After a week or two of constant texting, Alfred finally gave up. At least on the texting, as he still continued to try catching Kiku’s attention in any other way he could.
Kiku ignored being mentioned in the American's instagram stories, stopped opening his Snaps and even stopped responding to being invited on Steam to play games with him.
Speaking of playing games, Alfred got gradually unadded and blocked in every single one of those that they used to play together. What a shame - to be excluded exactly in the very special places they once discovered and fell in love with, together.
There was no other excuse for such behaviour, other than that he simply stopped being as important to Kiku as he thought he was.
Perhaps, he, a stupid guy with an average GPA, from an average school, with average looks, just wasn't worth enough to keep in contact with the, oh so busy and important, Kiku Honda.
Alfred just randomly quit calling him one day, blocked him in a few places (but definitely not everywhere, he made sure of it) and tried to forget Kiku has ever existed in his life.
He was aware they probably won't see each other ever again, which hurt more than he’d ever admit, but he was forced to accept the thought anyway. This was all exactly to Kiku's wishes anyway, and he was willing to respect his will.
Fate had a tad different plans for them though, and after two years and a half, Kiku was back in Alfred’s class.
He just appeared in the classroom one day, Ludwig and Feliciano invited him to their desk at the back of it, the teachers made a quick acknowledgement of his presence, and the day continued as usual.
Everyone acted as if Kiku switching schools yet again and now being back here, in their average one, was nothing more than a little fun fact.
Alfred has never considered it fun, though.
His ex-best friend was now sitting in the same classroom as him, and still barely uttered a word in his direction. Alfred tried to reach out to him a little, quietly hoping Kiku's feelings about him might have changed, but was met with nothing but a clear lack of interest.
Kiku would always just silently sit at his desk, fully focused on studying and nothing much except that.
Guess Alfred really was that insignificant, idiotic and boring, he just wasn’t worth enough to even get a stupid apology.
Well, perhaps there was some truth in thinking that way, especially in terms of the American’s intelligence.
Afterall, Alfred was currently coming closer to no one else's desk, but Kiku's.
He was really this eager to show off his own stupidity and delusion, huh?
“Ey, Kiku” Kiku looked up with a rather shocked expression, as if he was questioning if he really just got called.
Yeah, okay, he could be shocked. Alfred was shocked he said that too, for the record.
“Hey… Alfred.” Not Al, not Fred. That was… expected.
“Wanna do the project together?” Alfred made sure to keep his expression rather neutral.
“With me?” Wow, for such an academic GENIUS, he sounded so stupidly oblivious.
“Yeah, who else am I asking right now??”
Kiku lowered his gaze.
“We can do it together. I don't mind it. Ludwig and Feli are going to be together anyway.” His voice was neutral, but rather quiet. Hah, feeling intimidated, mister know-it-all!?
“Nice. See ya after school then” He almost, ALMOST slipped a “Keeks” at the end, gosh…
He hasn't called him that way in years and now, after two minutes of conversation he almost did it again.
You're such a loser, wow Alfred. Just wow.
“I mean, see ya if you're finally gonna start responding to my messagess.” Alfred already started to walk away from his newly made partner's seat.
Kiku's gaze lowered even more.
America calmly, but a bit stiffly, got back to his own seat, all while making sure not to even glance behind him.
So that was it. Their first real conversation in ages. And Kiku didn't even seem that eager to say a stupid hello to him…
What did he even expect, though? If Kiku wanted to for real have any conversation with Alfred he would have already had one.
It was truly foolish to even hope anything might have changed.
The rest of the class passed surprisingly quickly, and the day was over before Alfred had realised it. He quickly packed himself and left the classroom before anyone could even try to catch him.
The chances anyone may have planned exactly that were extremely low anyway.
Alfred strolled out of the school, his backpack hanging just on his right arm. It was a bit chilly today, but nothing his bomber jacket couldn't shield him from.
His twin brother, who was practically clinging to his side, was dressed in a much warmer looking jacket. He also wore a scarf, wrapped tightly around his neck.
“Are you going to the gym today?” Matthew asked, slightly fixing the glasses that were successfully protecting his lavenderish blue eyes from the sudden gusts of wind. Alfred ones were currently serving the same purpose, to which he was rather grateful for. Nothing pleasant in having sand thrown into one's eyes.
“The gym?” Alfred slightly frowned at that. Hello? Where did that come from?
He hasn't been to the gym in what felt like ages; it must have been weeks since he went there. Which obviously wasn't a good thing, but for Matthew to mention it, just like that? That felt straight up odd.
“I meant the um… t-the Pokémon thingy” Matthew quickly added, clearing out the confusion.
Alfred’s face smoothened.
“Ah yeah, sure! I gotta change my Pokémon in there” He vaguely explained, already turning on his heel to go to the mentioned place. The gym was around ten minutes walking distance from the school, so it was definitely convenient to go there after school.
Especially since halfway there was that bakery that sold absolutely THE best cinnamon rolls in the district!
“Alfred… can we just go home instead?”
He paused and turned back to his brother.
“Are you feeling unwell?” A reasonable thing to ask, because it's Matthew they were talking about. The most frail person Alfred could think of.
Matthew sighed. Not a good sign.
“I threw up three times at the last lesson…”
Alfred’s eyes widened in horror. That bad? Oh no, he for sure was sick. Again. That would easily be the fourth time this month, or maybe even fifth, Alfred wasn’t sure.
“Oh. Yeah, sure, we can just go home. Do you want me to call papa?”
Matthew shook his head.
“I already called him… He said he could pick me up, but I said I'm feeling better now” He slightly rubbed his face, and Alfred just now realised how heated up his cheeks were and how hazed his gaze was.
He cringed slightly at how he didn't notice it much earlier and picked up his pace a little, so they walked to their bus stop rather quickly.
The bus arrived on time and after around ten minutes, they got off of it. Alfred has always been grateful how relatively close they lived to their school.
Matthew was swaying slightly as they walked home; he looked like he wanted to either start crying or throw up again.
Alfred comfortingly rubbed his arm the whole way and when they finally got to their place, he opened the door, his key rattling impatiently in the keyhole.
“Mes loulous!” A happy voice greeted them as soon as they took a step on their doorstep and both Alfred and Matthew got scooped into two quick, but warm hugs.
Francis smelled like roses and some kitchen spices. It was actually a rather pleasant mix, despite being a bit funny on the nose. He was wearing an apron and was obviously in the middle of cooking; the cascade of his long, golden locks pinned up in a messy bun, so it wouldn't get in the way.
“How are you feeling, Mattieu? Is it better?” Matthew got embraced by their dad yet again, but opposite to what Alfred would have done, he melted in his dad’s arms and didn't even think about moving away.
“Yes, y-yes. I’m just going to lay down now”
“Of course, of course” Francis, still holding him, started to guide Matthew to his room.
Alfred sighed slowly, took off his shoes, and wandered to his own room.
His backpack got thrown against the side of the bed and he himself followed its path, collapsing on top of the bunk.
So, that was it. His and Kiku’s first real interaction in over two fucking years.
Now, as he was back in the comfort of his own house, today’s events suddenly flooded his mind, previously repressed by the urgency to get Matthew home as fast as possible.
Alfred groaned, covering his eyes. How was it even feasible that you could grow so cold with someone you used to be so close to? And for that to happen without any apparent reason, anything?
That was what hurt the most, actually - how they never had any argument or anything like that. Never had the official end of friendship thingy, never threw away their friendship bracelets.
Okay, yeah, that last one was probably only true on Alfred’s side.
Alfred has always blamed Kiku's prestigious school for their “breakup”, it was no mystery he did. It never really helped him feel even a bit better, though. Neither did help painting Kiku as some self-aggrandizing prick.
Because Kiku was not like that. He was kind. Gentle. Hardworking. Introverted and a bit stiff at times, yes, but he would never treat others differently just because they weren't as successful as him.
At least, that's what Alfred wanted to keep believing in.
He abruptly sat up, simply declining to think about Kiku any minute longer. His homework still had to be done, and Overwatch still had to be played (Alfred tried to ignore with who exactly he used to play it).
If he's already managed to stop thinking about him one time, he can do it again.
The rest of the evening Alfred spent playing on his console and poorly pretending he's doing his homework. He's never been the type to do work on a Friday evening anyway.
It was an hour before midnight when Alfred finally got bored of playing and closed his computer, getting ready for the night.
He was alone in the apartment, since his dads and Matthew were in the ER. For the usual reason, which was Matthew throwing up blood. Worrying and sad, but not surprising.
Alfred tightly wrapped himself in his blankets. He would usually sit on his phone till at least 1 a.m. but today was not the case. He knew he was going to spend every moment awake worrying about his brother and constantly thinking about that one person, so it was better to just try and go to sleep.
Alfred was genuinely ready to close his phone here and there, to not be tempted to text the we-all-know-who, but apparently the universe had different plans.
Alfred's discord's notification pinged and he checked it instantly.
Oh.
It was Kiku. On discord. One of the only places Alfred hasn’t blocked him on.
<<🖕🖕🖕>> Are you free tomorrow?
…Huh?
<<🖕🖕🖕>> I mean to do the prohect.
<<🖕🖕🖕>> *project
Oh! The project!
<<Fredd>> yeah Im free all day
His fingers trembled, but he didn't write anything else. Kiku, on the other hand, responded with a full sentence again. He's always been texting like this.
<<🖕🖕🖕>> Can we do it at the library?
A very nice place, with a garden on the roof and a great ice-cream spot two blocks away. Most importantly though, a PokeGym.
<<Fredd>> okay
<<🖕🖕🖕>> So you're free at 3?
<<Fredd>> yup
<<Fredd>> I just told you Im free all day
<<🖕🖕🖕>> I just wanted to confirm
Kiku was typing for a good while after that, so the text he sent in the end felt strangely short in comparison.
<<🖕🖕🖕>> Can you bring your laptop?
<<🖕🖕🖕>> I'm gonna bring mine, just so you know
Ugh. The patronizing undertone.
Alfred moved to turn off his light, but when he got back to bed, an additional message appeared.
<<🖕🖕🖕>> :))
…
<<Fredd>> okay I will dw
<<Fredd>> see you tomorrow.
<<🖕🖕🖕>> See you
<<🖕🖕🖕>> !!
Alfred practically threw his phone across the room. It landed right on the wall with a dull thud, but he ignored it. His face hid in his hands, as he curled on the bed.
He was so not going to survive this.