Work Text:
“Hey Jax, i think i found something for you”
Jax read over the message for the fifth time in as many seconds, scouring his brain for the right words to respond with. Chris Pomni had been the only member of the circus to keep regular contact in the week or so since they’d made it out, not that he much blamed the others for keeping their distance.
Still, the message on the screen came as a bit of a surprise. He rolled back in the small bunk he’d been laying in and swiped his phone open.
He didn’t have time to type out the question himself before his phone buzzed with a new message.
“Gangle told me her old store is hiring, I guess they’re having an open interview this afternoon?”
Jax winced at the thought. He’d never worked fast food in the real world, and the one shift he’d had to work at Spudsy’s was enough to sour him on the idea for good.
But the cash in his wallet would only be good for another night or two at this shitty hostel, and there was no way in hell he was going to take Rag’s offer to stay with everyone else.
They don’t want me there, I’d just make everyone uncomfortable.
He arched his back against the stiff mattress, doing his best to ignore the way it seemed to grind against his shoulder-blades.
Plus, free food every day can’t be that bad, right?
He picked up his phone again, surprised to see another message from the same number.
“that is, unless the mighty Jax is too scared to step into a kitchen again ;)”
Jax could practically hear the smugness radiating from her words as he began to type back.
“You wish PomPom, they’ll have me running the store in a week.”
He tapped out the words, then deleted them and started again.
“Oh come on, if crybaby can do it, anyone can.”
Is that too mean? It’s not like Gangle is gonna read it, girl couldn’t be bothered to even tell me herself.
“You sure they can handle me in all my glory?”
Perfect.
He hit send and tucked the phone into his pocket with a sigh. He lay there for a long moment, his mind racing through a million little situations at once. Sometimes, Jax was surprised to find how much he missed the circus.
At least there he never had to make any real decisions.
I don’t have to do this. I can just not show up, she’s never going to know.
Besides, wouldn’t Gangle rather have anyone else there? I’m sure Zooble would feel a lot more at home at a place like that.
He wasn’t sure exactly when he decided to sit up with a sigh. A glance at the clock above the door told him it was still early in the afternoon, plenty of time to get cleaned up as best as he could.
He glanced down at his phone, a single message awaiting him.
“:)”
Jax sighed, running a hand across his face and trying to ignore how strange the stubble felt on his chin.
First thing I’m buying with that paycheck is a real razor.
~
It took a little under an hour for Jax to find himself in something approximating presentable. At least, he hoped he was, it was hard to tell when every mirror he looked into still seemed to show that dumb yellow grin.
It wasn’t like the communal bathroom in the hostel had given him much to work with, but he’d combed his mop of hair into something relatively comfortable. He’d need to get it cut, eventually, but for now he was surprised at how comfortable the longer locks felt. Maybe it was just because it was the closest thing he had to the long ears he’d gotten used to, or maybe…
The ears, it must be the ears.
His face still felt rough where he’d run a cheap motel razor over it, but at least he didn’t have to deal with that scratchy half-beard anymore.
There wasn’t much that he could do about the outfit, everything in his old apartment had been long gone by the time they made it back into the real world. He searched through the small backpack of clothing he’d been able to afford with the cash in his wallet, settling on a plain purple T-shirt and a pair of jeans that clung to his skin a little bit more tightly than he was used to.
Hopefully nobody at McDonald’s expected him to show up to this in a suit.
He spent a little bit more time in the bathroom, telling himself that he was just making sure he was presentable. Telling himself that he wasn’t trying to stall, to put off the task he so desperately wanted to avoid.
It was a little after three o’clock in the afternoon when he finally left the hostel. Jax walked with his hands in his pockets and his head up, scanning the street with the casual ease of someone who’d already seen enough trouble for one lifetime.
It wasn’t the nicest area of town, but everyone else seemed content enough to mind their own business.
It felt strange, existing around so many other people at once. Jax kept expecting to blink and see a sea of mannequins staring back at him with empty faces.
Walking into the restaurant was like falling back asleep to a dream he’d just woken up from.
It wasn’t anything like the Spudsy’s Jax had been in before. Where that store had given off a sort of eerie unreality, this felt almost too much like the opposite.
The pungent stench of cleaning fluids mingled with the smells of fryer grease and overcooked meat. The distant sound of alarms clanked over muffled shouts. Even the light felt intense, shadows that the circus would never have been able to render dancing across every surface.
Try as he might, Jax couldn’t escape how overwhelmingly real everything was.
That reality extended to the man who Jax assumed he was interviewing with, an older gentleman in a suit with the sort of smile that one normally only saw on legal advertisements and car salesmen.
He stared at Jax with a predator's eye as the young man approached the table, his gaze only slightly softening as he reached out for a handshake.
The man only bothered with a handful of questions, seeming to treat the interview more as a formality than an actual assessment. Still, Jax couldn’t help but feel surprised when he slid a bundle of neatly-stapled papers over.
New hire information.
Another handshake, a few token words of gratitude, and he was on his way again.
Jax’s phone buzzed almost the moment he walked back out the door. To his surprise, a new name lit up his screen, one he hadn’t expected to ever hear from again.
Gangle.
“so howd it go?”
How did she know I was there? Is she friends with someone or something?
He supposed it made sense, she had to have known about the open interviews from somewhere.
“Got hired for night crew, I start next week.”
The response was almost instant.
“night crew huh? nice. :3”
“Yep.”
He hesitated for a moment, taking a deep breath before starting to type again.
But there was nothing else to say.
He slid his phone back into his pocket and started walking towards nowhere in particular.
~
Jax scratched at the polyester uniform shirt as he buttoned up the collar, trying to ignore the memories that the black fabric brought with it. As strange as it felt wearing a uniform again, there was something oddly comfortable about how irritating the fabric felt. At least this time he knew that it wasn’t part of his body, that he could shed it anytime if the discomfort got to be too much.
He took a deep breath, then another.
Tap tap tap.
“Hey asshole, you done in there?”
Jax closed his eyes and took another breath, pushing aside the urge to shout something back. His body wasn’t made of rubber anymore, and the last thing he needed was a hospital stay and doctors asking awkward questions about where he’d been the last few years
“Yeah yeah, I’m coming right now.
He brushed past the angry-looking man who stood outside the door with a pacifying nod, then made his way to the door.
The street was empty at this time of night, though Jax knew better than to let his guard down.
Focusing on the walk was good. Focusing on the walk meant his thoughts couldn’t get to him right now.
The lobby was almost empty when he walked in, with only the sounds of bustle coming from the kitchen to tell him that he was in the right place.
“Hey, you the new guy?”
A tall blonde man behind the counter asked, his bored expression telling Jax he already knew the answer to that.
“That’s me, the-”
“That’s great, because I’m out of here. Manager is in the back with your badge.”
The stranger- Ryan, according to his name-tag- didn’t bother with any goodbyes as he stomped out of the store.
It didn’t bother Jax. He wasn’t here to make friends, after all.
He stepped behind the counter, plastering a grin on his face with a practiced ease.
A pasty-skinned older man glared silently from the kitchen, and Jax caught a brief glimpse of a redheaded girl working on the drive through window, but otherwise the store seemed much quieter than he’d expected it to be.
Good riddance, I won’t have to worry about remembering too many names.
The office in the back of the store was empty when he stepped in, though a half-empty cup of coffee steaming on the desk told him that it hadn’t been for long. He looked around the small room for a moment, taking in the rows of uninspired corporate propaganda and unreadable safety paperwork.
It looked exactly like something he’d expect to see in the back of a restaurant, and something about that reassured him. Despite the fact that he could feel the heat radiating from the kitchen, could smell the pungent cleaning solution wafting from the floor, he still couldn’t quite shake the surreal feeling of being back in Spudsy’s’.
Jax was so busy staring at the wall that he almost didn’t notice the small black button sitting in the center of the counter. He paused, blinking in hopes that something was in his eyes.
Felix, it should say Felix.
Why doesn’t it say Felix?
His heart thumped against his ribs as he stared at the little plastic circle, willing the words on the label to shift into the name he barely recognized anymore.
But the tag lay there, unchanging, mocking him. Any comfort he might have found in the familiar name stripped away by the aching dread that he’d never escaped after all.
“Jax.”
No.
Nonononononono.
His heart slammed into his ribs so hard he was half worried it was going to break free, and drag the rest of him with it.
It can’t be. I’m real, this is real. Who…
“Oh there you are, I was wondering when you were gonna show up Jaxxy boy.”
That voice.
For a moment the world around Jax seemed to freeze.
He didn’t dare to turn around, didn’t dare to acknowledge that familiar voice.
This is just a nightmare. This has to be another nightmare.
I’m going to wake up and Caine is going to jump out and tell me it was just another adventure.
“Jax? Felix? Is everything alright?”
A hand brushed gently against his shoulder, a real, human hand. Jax didn’t dare to let out the breath in his chest as he turned his head towards the source of the voice.
Only when he caught sight of a very familiar, very human face did he bother to exhale.
“Sorry, I didn’t think it was gonna scare you like that.” She giggled, her laugh unmistakable.
“Gangle, you’re… here?”
Her badge read Elizabeth, though being called by her circus name didn’t seem to bother her any.
Her lips curled back into a smile as she leaned closer, eyes narrowing as if to look more closely at his face. Jax leaned back despite himself, until his spine bumped against the cheap wooden desk behind him.
Why on earth is she so tall out here?
“You know, you’re pretty cute when you’re surprised.” She snickered, leaning back and turning toward the door.
“Get your apron on, you’re with me in the kitchen tonight.”
Jax stood there for a long moment, staring at the badge in his hand. Somehow, knowing that this was real, the name scribbled on it didn’t feel so wrong anymore. Something about Gangle doing it, giving it that little touch of… care? Why did she care, she didn’t even like him in the circus?
And why did she call me cute?
He grumbled as he slid the button onto his apron, then turned to the kitchen where Em...Gang… where she was working.
And Jax let out a silent prayer to nobody in particular that his cheeks weren’t as flushed as they felt right now.
~
Any illusions that he might still be in the game were shattered the moment Jax stepped into the kitchen.
A dozen screens flashed, orders popping on and vanishing faster than he could visibly track. Gangle moved with a near mechanical precision; scanning orders, throwing together sandwiches and wraps and wrapping them with a practiced ease.
“Come on bunny boy, I need you flipping burgers.” She winked, gesturing at the oversized flat top as though it explained anything.
He stared at the grill for a split second too long before pulling the grin back onto his face and grabbing a spatula.
“Yeah yeah, don’t get your ribbons in a twist.”
~
Jax’s first hour in the kitchen was hell.
Turns out, cooking was a lot harder when every splatter of grease left throbbing red scars where they burned into his skin.
Gangle tried her best to help, though he made a show of pretending to ignore everything she told him.
“Don’t throw the meat down so hard, you’re just gonna knock up more grease.” Earned a particularly earnest toss that was almost worth the stain it left on his new uniform
“Careful closing the lid, it’ll crush your hand.” Lead to Jax brazenly waving his hands under the closing grill until it nearly took one off.
Eventually Gangle gave up trying to help him, and Jax gave up pretending to ignore her advice.
By the second hour he had almost started to get the hang of the kitchen.
It helped that the store was starting to slow down, the last few customers trickling through with much smaller orders than they’d had at the beginning of his shift.
Jax found a bit of relief in the fact that he was back in the kitchen, free from having to deal with any strangers. He didn’t know if he could handle trying to act normal in front of other people when his brain still wasn’t entirely convinced that any of this was real yet.
Hour three saw one of the other employees leave, and Gangle moved to take their place.
Alone in the kitchen, things moved far more slowly. He slid orders out as quickly as he could, running around the floor until he was sure his legs were going to give out on him.
For the first time since he’d left the circus he missed the cartoon physics of his old model, at least those legs rarely got tired.
“Jaxxy boy, we need you to move a little faster back there.” Gangle practically sang, giving him a grin that felt out of place on her now-human face.
“We don’t have all night you know.”
Why is she acting like this all of a sudden?
Still, he didn’t want to mess things up on his first day at the new job.
By the fourth hour, doing his best was getting boring.
Jax found himself glancing towards the front of the store more and more, watching as Gangle tossed orders into bags and handed them out with a practiced efficiency. She moved with a diligence that he hadn’t expected to see from someone who used to act so fragile.
It didn’t take long for him to start messing around. Nothing major at first, certainly nothing a customer might see and try to get him in trouble for.
A swapped label here, a burger designed to fall apart there.
If Gangle noticed, she didn’t bother to acknowledge it.
Perhaps she knew that would only fuel him.
Still, Jax found a little catharsis in the act, even if just to break the monotony of making more burgers.
Soon he was seeing how high he could flip the burgers without them falling onto the floor.
An inch, two, half a dozen. He wished someone were here to see, but he didn’t want to call Gangle over until he was certain that he could do it perfectly.
Flipping them directly onto the buns was next, though more patties than he wanted to admit ended up on the floor that way.
He glanced between the grill and his coworker, wheels in his mind spinning.
She was moving constantly, darting between the counter and the register and rarely staying in one place for more than a few seconds.
Idly, he wondered if this was always what Gangle was like in the real world. He'd never seen her move so much in the circus, but then again they had never spent a lot of time together on positive terms.
A tinge of regret poked at him, but he pushed it down.
One more joke couldn't hurt.
He was in the middle of grilling a new tray of patties when Gangle finally paused, the taller woman glancing down at her phone as she leaned against the service counter. Jax glanced at Gangle one more time, making sure that she wasn't paying attention to what he was up to as he slid a spatula carefully under the patty.
The taller woman was in the process of reading a text message from Zooble when the simmering patty hit her head, sending tallow splattering across her hat. Jax broke into a howling laugh as she glanced up at him, confusion vanishing from her eyes as she realized what he had done.
“Nice hat ribbons, it suits you.” He chuckled, his hand moving to cover his mouth.
For a long moment Gangle didn’t say a word, only staring at him with a blank expression that wouldn’t have been out of place on her old tragedy mask. It didn’t take long for amusement to give way to discomfort as she continued to stare, unblinking
“Hey uh, you alright there Ribs? With the way you and Zooby have been staring at each other I’d think you’d be used to meat in the face by now.”
The shift in Gangle’s expression was subtle, but unmistakable. Her pupils seemed to shrink as her lips curled back almost imperceptibly.
Jax felt something primal poking at his mind, the same sort of thing he had felt the time a homeless man had pulled a knife on him for his wallet. But as quickly as that look appeared, it was gone. Gangle tilted her head slightly, mouth now pulled back in a smile that felt almost warm.
“Oh Felix, would you mind coming back with me to my office for a moment?”
Her voice was still perky, but Jax could feel a trace of ice in the way she’d said his old name.
Wasn’t she the one who wanted to use Jax here anyways?
Not that he minded too much, something about his circus name still felt more real to him, in an odd sort of way.
He hesitated for a beat, only following Gangle when she turned to him with an expression that made it clear that she wasn’t asking.
The office was small enough that two people could barely stand next to each other without feeling crowded, and it only became worse when Gangle slipped past him and pulled the door closed behind her. She stood there for a moment, as though staring at the closed door.
The silence weighed heavy, only the distant sound of an alarm and the whistle of his own breathing to break the monotony.
Jax wasn't sure how long they stood there, though surely it couldn't have been more than a few seconds. After a moment he forced a grin, slipping easily back into his protective layer of snark.
"Geez, crybaby, I didn't think you'd get that worked up about a joke like that."
Jax snickered as he reached a hand towards Gangle’s shoulder.
The gesture didn't have quite the same effect that it would have in the circus, what with the formerly-minuscule woman now standing nearly a head above him, but she still shuddered at his touch.
Jax was surprised to hear what sounded like a sob, but he was even more surprised when she turned to face him with dry eyes and a grin that looked even more artificial than his own.
"You know."
Jax stumbled back as Gangle moved closer, stepping between him and the door.
"I thought you'd be different, out here in the real world."
There was something about the woman's tone that gave Jax pause. A sort of... melancholy?
"I thought that maybe after everything that had happened, maybe you'd changed."
She let out a sigh as her hand settled on his shoulder, the pressure knocking him backwards a few inches into the wall. She didn't push any further, seemingly content to watch the discomfort on his face as her words continued.
"But after all of that you still haven't learned how to behave yourself, have you bunny boy?"
Anger flared up in Jax as he narrowed his eyes at the woman looming above him. Her smile hadn't changed, if anything it had gotten wider as she leaned closer. She was relishing this, basking in the fact that he didn't have the height advantage anymore.
It doesn't matter, she knows I'm stronger than her. One shove and she's going to fold like a wet napkin.
But Jax didn't shove her, even as she leaned close enough for him to smell the product on her frilly hair. He told himself that he was just being pragmatic, that out here broken bones lead to assault charges.
Jax would tell himself anything to avoid thinking about the pounding feeling in his chest, or the blood rushing to his cheeks right now, or…
No, stop that.
“Pshhhh, letting that uniform get to your head again ribbons? I didn’t think getting back into your real body was going to make you even more annoying.”
Jax’s grin widened as he caught a twitch in Gangle’s eye, the slightest fracture in a mask that no longer existed. But rather than collapse into a sobbing mess, Gangle only reached out with her other hand, pinning Jax firmly to the wall despite his best efforts to push her back.
His heartbeat pounded in his ears, loud enough that he almost missed the distant sound of a phone ringing from outside of the office. Gangle didn’t miss it though, her eye twitching again as she tilted her head towards the source of the sound.
“Oh Jaxxy.” Gangle clicked her tongue, finally letting the pressure on Jax’s shoulder ease as she stepped back.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make a good boy out of you soon enough.”
And then the door was open, and she was gone.
And Jax was left standing there, with his face burning bright red.
Wondering what had just happened.