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Satoru was bored and him being bored led to bad shit happening. Last time he was bored he had accidentally burned all of Shoko's packs of cigarettes in her emergency drawer. Also once when he was bored he cut Suguru's hair when his friend was asleep also at work. The poor guy had to walk around with a bowl cut for a few months before it even reached his neck. Once he had leveled the training field with red just to see if it would reach some lava and another time he had replaced all the salt containers with sugar to fuck with people. He had stuck gum in Megumi's hair and once he had used some cursed rope he found to tie Megumi and Nobara together for two days before Yaga threatened to fire him.
So by now everyone at the school knew not to let Satoru get bored. Everyone except for the new boy at school. A really cute new boy, who was still learning to use his curse technique. A really really cute boy with pink hair and honey eyes and Satoru was starving and bored. He had found the perfect target.
Stepping up to the boy, Satoru leaned into his face making Yuuji blinked faster at seeing his white hair and blindfold. “Uh hi?” Satoru smiled at his wry, confused tone. “Hey new boy”. Smiling back at the one in the man's face Yuuji offered his hand “nice to meet you! I'm Itadori Yuuji!” Satoru almost stepped back as the smile blinded him. Instead he offered his hand back, closing it around Yuuji's in a friendly handshake “you too Yuuji-kun! I'm Gojo Satoru at your service”.
Yuuji tilted his head just like a puppy making Satoru almost coo at the cute reaction. Yuuji's eyes became large stars as he stared up at him and Satoru almost stepped back. He was used to awe of fear and artificial awe but this pure raw amazement of him made his skin crawl. “You're the Gojo Satoru! OMG!!” Satoru wanted to know who the hell this kid actually was and why he had to use the acronym instead of saying the whole phrase. More importantly, why did he have to shriek it like an anime fan girl. Is this how others felt about his theatrics? Chuckling nervously as the boy moved closer to his space, Satoru coughed out his answer “uh yeah kid. I'm Gojo Satoru! Strongest sorcerer in the world! Be amazed!!” Yuuji grinned like a love sick fool making Satoru's face turn a suspicious red color as he stepped back when the kid approached him. “Ah Gojo-san, can I ask you a question?” Satoru wanted to say no because the whole thing seemed like a loaded question already. Still he nodded back feeling his body tense as Yuuji gave a secretive smile muttering “will you give me extra lessons please”.
Satoru did not gulp loudly at how it was purred out to him as he laughed awkwardly “ah ha I-I guess?” Yuuji gave him a hug that shocked him. Not only for the fact the kid was able to forcefully tackle him to the ground. Infinity dropped for the boy to touch him. The real shocker had to be when the kiss was planted on his cheek. It made Satoru's face turn red as a tomato as his body froze. “Ah you're blushing, how cute! I think I'll keep you!” Satoru gulped again “keep me?!” Yuuji grinned like a frankly crazy stalker “yeah keep you! It'll be fun. I'll take you on walks and wash you and sit on your cock whenever you want k!”
“Huh!?!” Satoru has never moved so fast to get away from someone. Yuuji just followed him. Even running, the boy kept up with him “please leave me alone Yuuji-kun!” Yuuji screamed back “but I want you!” He almost escaped if not for the fact that Yuuji tackled him and handcuffed him to himself with a crazy grin “yes I win I own you now! Oh we can get married and have babies and I'll love you forever!” Satoru was scared and strangely relieved “really?” Yuuji gave him a gentle smile “yeah lets own the world Satoru-san”.
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Suguru glanced at the two teens who had their jaws dropped “wasn't this supposed to be a prank to get him to leave us alone?” Megumi nodded “uh yeah but we also forgot that Yuuji is a die hard Gojo fan when we planned this”. Nobara added “I think he played us to meet him”. Suguru glanced back at his best friend who was currently making out with Yuuji and asked “isn't Yuuji your age though?” Both teens looked at him blankly then their teacher and best friend and screamed “Gojo-sensei he's a minor!”
Satoru waved them off “but he wants me~!” Yuuji also decided to bare his teeth “mine!” Suguru gave them both a hard stare “is my friend going to be okay with your friend or?” Megumi shrugged “maybe?” Nobara snapped a picture of Yuuji carrying Gojo away “nah you're never gonna see Gojo again if Yuuji has anything to say about it. The next time you hear from him will be at the fucking wedding”.
Suguru sighed as he ran after his friend screaming “Satoru! Don't tie the knot with a crazy teenage stalker you just met!!”
Megumi gave Nobara a complicated look that she smirked at “should we have told them Yuuji was half cursed spirit or not?” She shrugged “I'm sure Gojo-sensei will figure it out when his first child is born”.