Work Text:
Holtzmann was sick. And Erin needed to help.
It was the quiet sniffling from Holtz’s workstation, the prolonged silence and restrained coughs, all very un-Holtzlike, that were the first clues. But what worried Erin most of all was the fact that Holtz kept working - despite frequent trips to the hallway, claiming she had “to check something” (Erin could hear the violent coughing fits from the lab).
“Holtz,” Erin started, sidling up to the tiny blonde, “You feeling okay? Because, if you’re not, I can he-”
“What? I don’t know what you mean.”
Erin squinted her eyes a bit, glancing over at the nearly-empty box of tissues that rested on top of a screwdriver.
Holtzmann stammered. “It’s a...technical necessity. My hands get covered in oil, I need something to wi-”
“Holtz.”
“Okay, you win! I may have a bit of a cold, maybe even some sort of viral infection, but it’s nothing that I can’t work through. I’m fine, Erin, really, I just ne-”
“Need to rest.”
“-ed to work.”
Erin pouted, lightly kicking the side of the Holtz’s workbench. “Don’t you at least want to take a break to eat? I’m just about to head out, I’ll bring you something back. Please, Holtz, you gotta take care of yourself.”
The corner of Holtzmann’s mouth turned up in what very vaguely resembled a smile. “Fine. Thank you.”
Erin grinned as she left, grateful for her tiny victory.
---
“Holtz! I’m back! I stopped by Panera Bread and got you mac and ch-”
Erin slowed upon entering the lab, greeted by the sight of a sleeping Holtzmann. The only thing visible from the entryway was a tiny poof of blonde locks, the rest tucked into a boldly-patterned scarf.
Erin entered slowly, careful not to trip on any of the various metal objects strewn around the laboratory, and saw what was, in Erin’s mind, quite possibly the cutest scene in the world. Holtz’s eyes were closed, fluttering slightly, her cheek resting on a large chemistry textbook.
oh my god oh my god i want to kiss her right in the middle of her forehead and tuck her into be-
Erin stopped, mentally shaking her head. lord, what was i saying? this is jillian holtzmann, colleague, friend, someone i look up to and respect a whole lot, someone i’d love to get to know, maybe in more ways than one - shut up!!!!!!enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She wasn’t sure what to do. What was the etiquette for waking up a sleeping colleague, especially when aforementioned colleague’s mac & cheese was getting cold? And then she noticed: Jillian’s - Holtzmann’s - forehead was covered in tiny beads of sweat, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly.
the common signs of a fever. this could be bad.
Erin ran through every single scenario she’d ever been trained in in her various college courses. She was CPR-certified and could tell you everything you ever wanted to know about subatomic particles, but she had no idea how to wake up Holtzmann when she was already in such a vulnerable state.
She decided to tap her, lightly at first, and then firmer.
she’s burning up.
“Holtz? Holtzmann. Jillian,” Erin said, shaking Holtz’s shoulders softly. “Wake up, sleepyhead. Come on. We need to get you in bed.”
“Hnnnnn?” Holtz stirred, taking a deep breath before stretching and opening her eyes. “Erin, wh-”
“I brought you mac and cheese from Panera Bread,” Erin started. Holtz perked up ever so slightly at the mention of food. “But I think what’s more important is getting you home to rest. You really aren’t doing so good, are you?”
“I...I felt a little dizzy after you had left, but I didn’t want to bother y-”
“You should have called! Oh, you should have called. You know I don’t mind helping out.”
“It’s not that, it’s…”
“It’s what?” Erin bit back a smile, knowing that the real reason Holtz didn’t call was her impenetrable, incredibly collected exterior. She never wanted anyone to assist her in anything.
“Hngnnnnnn. It’s dumb. Nothing really makes sense, and I’m sooso sorry.” Holtzmann was slurring her words together, closing her eyes.
“Listen, it’s okay, it’s alright. We just need to get you home and in bed.”
“I’m sorry, what was that last part? In -”
“In bed?” Erin tilted her head.
Holtzmann waggled her eyebrows. “Thought so.” And with that, she swung around on her stool, standing shakily.
“Holtz, you are being ridiculous,” Erin said, grabbing Holtz’s arm to steady her. “C’mon. Up we go. Let’s get you in the hearse.”
---
Fifteen minutes (and a lot of midday New York traffic) later, Erin and a very sleepy, sneezy Holtz arrive at Holtz’s apartment building.
“You...you do have your key, right?” Erin asks Holtz as they approach the old brownstone.
Holtz only smiles. “Duh, Erin, who do you think” - she pauses and sniffs - “I am?”
“Just checking.”
Erin is surprised to find herself a bit nervous - she’s dropped Holtz off at home before, after long busts and late nights spent in the laboratory, but she’s never been inside. Apartments and bedrooms are so intimate. As they walk the two flights upstairs, Erin holding onto Holtz’s arm to steady her, she can’t help but wonder what it would be like if this was their life, living and working together.
shhhhhhhhhhush erin gilbert!!!!!!!!!! be quiet!!!!!!!!!!
Holtzmann shuffles in the pockets of her oversized field coat, retrieving a few sticks of gum, a hair clip, and a week-old receipt.
“Aha,” she murmurs, fingers wrapped around her apartment key. “Jackpot!”
Erin smiles sweetly at the tiny, overly-excited five year old, trying her best to mask any nervous feelings that are growing in the pit of her stomach.
The door opens, revealing a decent-sized, well-lit apartment. Every surface seems to be covered in either books or plants, often both. It’s messy in the cute, kitschy way of being messy: everything has its place, its place is often just all over everything.
“I, um… I have a lot of plants,” Holtz says sheepishly. “I have a lot of windows, so I thought why not use all the light? These little guys just soak it right up! I love them.”
Erin smiles, feeling a familiar sense of warmth start to flood her body. She loves learning little things about the enigmatic Jillian Holtzmann, piecing her together bit by bit, like a familiar jigsaw puzzle.
“They’re adorable. Um, do you want to lay on the couch or something? I have your mac and cheese, and I can just heat it up in the microwave real qui-”
“They have names!”
“The...who? Who has names?”
“The plants,” Holtzmann grins.
“Well, you can tell me all of their names once you are feeling better.” Erin reaches over, pulling a blanket from the couch. “Lay down. I’ll tuck you in.”
“Oh, aren’t you nice!” Holtz does the eyebrow-dance-smile combination that drives Erin crazy, even though she knows the only thing she should be focusing on right now is taking care of her friend, not how adorable she may look while jokingly making silly bedroom eyes at her coworker.
Erin drapes the blanket around Holtz lovingly, before getting up and heading to the kitchen. “Stay here. I’ll heat up your mac and cheese.”
“How very, very thoughtful of you, Ms. Gilbert,” Holtz called after her, in a fake Regency-era British accent. “What can I ever do to repay the kindnesses you have shown me today?”
“You can be quiet and wait patiently for your mac and cheese. And maybe watch The X-Files with me later,” Erin calls from the kitchen.
“Is that like a...date?” Holtzmann yelped sarcastically. “You truly do know the key to my heart.”
holyshitholyshitholyshithol-
Erin says nothing, now blushing as she presses buttons on the microwave, hoping Holtz doesn’t turn around and see her bright-red face.
The microwave beeps, and Erin returns to find Jillian Holtzmann all snuggled up on the couch, covered in two more blankets than she was previously.
“How did you - where did you find those?”
“It’s my house, remember?” Holtz waggles her eyebrows, taking the mac and cheese from Erin. “Thank you, by the way. Have I told you I love you?”
goodbye world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Erin chokes out a startled laugh, sitting on the edge of the couch next to Holtz’s legs. “Eat your mac and cheese.”
And Holtz does eat, smiling at Erin from her self-built blanket mound for half the time, closing her eyes to rest in silence for the other half.
“I really do appreciate you, Erin. I joke about it a lot, I know, but you’re the fucking best. Nobody else would think to be this nice to me, you know? I mean, besides Abby and Patty, but you - you’re something else. Your hair is so soft. How does it get that soft? And your clothes are so cute, even though I’m mean to you about it all the time, and I love your perfume. It smells so nice. I love your perfume.”
what do i do with a half-delirious holtzmann who is feverish and professing her deepest, darkest feelings to me????? WHO IS THIS WOMAN???????
“I…wow. I appreciate you too, Holtz. I wouldn’t have done any of this if I didn’t love you so much.”
take a deep breath oh my god. you SAID IT
Holtzmann says and does nothing, just smiles as she finishes her mac and cheese.
“Do you - oh! I forgot to get you a drink! What do you want?” Erin jumps up from the couch, turning toward the kitchen.
“Erin, it’s okay,” Holtz says softly, gently grabbing her arm. “I’m okay.”
“Do you want…are you sure? How’s your fever?” Erin reaches across the couch, putting one hand next to Holtz’s legs to steady herself, the other resting gently on the small blonde’s forehead. “Hm. It’s a bit better. I think it might have broken during your impromptu nap earlier today. Do you want me to run you a bath?”
“I…” The noise that comes out of Holtz’s mouth is foreign, strangled. Erin realizes their faces are too close, too much, too soon, and everything after that becomes a blur.
Neither of them knows who acted first, what came first, whether it was Erin’s slight head-tilt or Holtz reaching up to grab Erin’s hand or both of them subconsciously leaning toward one another, but their mouths meet in a heavy kiss. It is a shock of electricity, an irreparable rift in their ‘just friends’ status, and they wouldn’t want it any other way. Holtz lets out a quiet moan, pulling Erin down onto the couch fully until she is nearly straddling the tiny blonde, her hands entwined in Holtz’s curls at the nape of her neck.
“Mmmnf…” Holtz breaks away, lips swollen and eyes wide. “You’re going to get sick. Oh my god, you’re going to be sick and it’s going to be my fau-”
Erin just smiles and shakes her head, leaning in to kiss Holtz again. “If I - get sick - ” Erin pants between kisses, “we’ll - just have - to spend all weekend - in - bed together.”
The resulting spark in Holtzmann’s eyes is enough to make Erin laugh.
“Erin Gilbert, have I told you I love you?”