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It all fell down. It all fell…down.
Yona watched. She couldn’t move, couldn’t act, and couldn’t stop it. Her kingdom burned, her father’s dynasty crumbled and at the center of the destruction stood a laughing figure. She was never able to reach out to the figure, and she could never identify him as he laughed at the devastation around him, but she had a pretty good feeling she knew who it was. In her heart she knew that he was not only laughing at the physical destruction she saw, but at the ruins of her old life. The flames licked at her legs and she…
…screamed. Tears, both dry and fresh, coated her cheeks as her eyes snapped open and a raw sound escaped her lips.
“Yona!?” Yoon startled awake beside her and reached over to shake her shoulder thinking she was still asleep. Yona patted his hand to reassure him and sat up with a shaky smile. “The same nightmare?” She nodded and brushed her cheeks dry. Yoon didn’t say anything, knowing that nothing he could say would change her nightmares, instead he embraced her in a tight hug and returned to his side of the tent. Yona sighed and rolled over as well, but she knew that she would not be getting any more sleep that night.
The next morning was rough. Yona was more than useless trying to pack up camp, and her limbs were heavy with exhaustion, muscle pain, and inner turmoil. It wasn’t until Zeno guided her away from camp and had her sit on a tree stump that she started to feel a bit better. She closed her eyes with a sigh and leaned against the rough bark of the tree. I’ve had that dream so many times, I shouldn’t be so shaken by it anymore. The sound of footsteps had Yona opening her eyes and sitting up again; there was only so much weakness she could show her dragons before she felt disgusted with herself.
“Princess.” Hak’s voice preceded him as he approached her sitting spot.
“Oh, Hak,” Yona sighed in relief. Hak was the one person who knew absolutely everything about her; her weakness, her selfishness, her past, and her darkness, and he still followed her--helped her.
“Don’t sound so happy to see me, Princess,” The warrior teased. Yona looked up as Hak towered over her, and squinted her eyes against the brightness of the sun. She gave a small smile. He always looks so intimidating, but I know there is a softness to him.
“I am happy…because it’s you that came to check on me,” Yona mumbled as she dropped her gaze. Hak followed her eyes and dropped to a squat in front of her, forcing her to look at him.
“What’s wrong Princess? Lately I’ve noticed that you get like this at least a few mornings a week,” Hak’s gaze bore into her own. Yona plastered a smile on her face and averted her eyes.
“Nothing at all Hak, just tired I guess,” she put as much cheer into her voice as she could manage. When she glanced back at the warrior she could see the unimpressed disbelief plastered all over his face.
“You never were a good liar, Princess,” Hak reached out and poked her in the middle of her forehead, hard.
“Hak!” Yona reached up to rub the dull pain away. When she dropped her hands from her face Hak’s eyes were intense again, with no hint of the playfulness she usually saw in them. “Hak…?” The warrior didn’t answer her as his deep blue eyes bore down on her, locking her in place. With a quick motion he caught one of her hands and brought it to his lips, kissing the knuckles. The action reminded her of something similar that had happened not too long ago, when Hak had accidentally poured too much honey over her hands and had taken it upon himself to lick it away. Just remembering the feel of his tongue had her face going red, and combined with the feeling of his lips ghosting over her knuckles now had her overheating. Suddenly it was way too hot--Yona couldn’t even think properly, let alone form a response to Hak’s antics. Why is he always teasing me like this? She thought desperately to herself as she tried to calm down enough to regain her composure.
“You may put on a strong face for the four dragons, but I want you to know that you can never lie to me, Princess--and you shouldn’t feel like you have to,” Hak released her hand suddenly and stood up. “You’d better hurry up, or we’ll just leave without you.” Hak gave his usual smirk and returned to where the others were almost done packing up. Yona sat for a moment longer mulling over her thoughts. It’s not as if Hak has changed, so why am I so affected by him lately? When the answer didn’t immediately present itself, Yona sighed and got up to rejoin the group—she would find her answer eventually.
The rest of the day passed as usual for Yona. They walked, Jae-ha and Hak fought, Yoon made a delicious lunch, Hak and Kija argued, Yona practiced her archery, and finally they picked out a place to camp again for the night. The only that that was out of the ordinary was Yona herself. Whenever Hak got near she would remember that morning and get all…weird. It’s only Hak. She would repeatedly remind herself that she had known Hak as long as she could remember, except something was different now—something about her that was affecting the way she acted around the warrior. If Hak noticed anything off about her he never mentioned it, much to Yona’s relief.
Yona was in charge of stirring the stew as Yoon bustled around the camp site adding ingredients, putting out plates, and general…things that Yoon always did to ensure that they were well fed and comfortable. Lost in her thoughts, Yona failed to notice Hak lean over her shoulder until he spoke right next to her ear.
“Don’t burn it, Princess,” Yona all but squealed in surprise, nearly throwing her stirring spoon at the warrior.
“Hak! There’s no need to sneak up on me like that!” Yona reprimanded in a breathy voice. Her heart was pounding heavily in her chest, both from the surprise and the leftover tingle where Hak’s breath had caressed the shell of her ear when he spoke.
“There was no sneaking involved, Princess. Something must be wrong with your brain again,” the warrior snorted as he retreated out of her space. In response Yona could only sputter. There was something wrong with her brain, or maybe it was her heart—it still had not slowed. It’s only Hak! She reminded herself yet again.
When she finally got her thoughts under control and glanced around she was relieved to see Hak distracted by something that Jae-ha was speaking emphatically about. If the warrior knew how much he was getting to her she would never have a moment’s peace—the man would continuously try to get a reaction from her.
With a deep sigh Yona returned to her stirring. She knew she would have to figure out these feelings at some point, but it would have to be a task for another day. For now she would just have to try and push them to the back of her mind and hope that they would stay there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hak had noticed Yona’s increasingly rough mornings over the past few weeks. She never said why she wasn’t sleeping well, but he had a pretty good idea what the issue was. Such a fool you are sometimes Princess, I would not judge you as weak for having fears—nightmares. What worried Hak the most though, was the way that she was beginning to act around him. He knew how he felt about the Princess, and he regularly acted on it, under the pretense of teasing—something Yona assumed anyways. Lately though, the Princess didn’t brush his advances off with a smirk or scowl and a sharp comment, instead she became embarrassed and flushed. It gave him…hope. Hope was a very dangerous thing, especially in Hak’s position. Yona was not someone he could ever deserve, he knew this, so why did he still hope?
“…I’m a fool,” the warrior sighed and put his face in his hands.
“Trouble in paradise?” The green dragon’s voice curled out of the darkness as he came to sit beside Hak. They were a ways from where the rest of the Happy Hungry Bunch were camped and sleeping.
“Shut up,” was Hak’s grumbled reply.
“C’mon big guy, don’t be like that. I could help--”
“I’d sooner skin you.”
“Oooh, is that a threat?”
“Statement of fact.” Jae-ha only laughed at Hak’s dark grin.
“Really though, what is going on with Yona? No one has mentioned anything, but even Kija is noticing her levels of exhaustion in the mornings,” Jae-ha’s tone turned serious.
“The Princess hasn’t said anything,” Hak didn’t say that he already knew what the problem was; it was not his place to talk about it.
“Hak, you better not be hiding anything. This is Yona,” Jae-ha’s voice became low with anger.
“I know. I know that, but she won’t say anything until she’s ready…and none of you will push her into it, got it?” Hak’s voice also lowered with warning. The two warriors stared each other down until Jae-ha blinked away first.
“Something’s eating at you man, more so than usual. Matters of the heart?” Jae-ha’s demeanor returned to its usual mischievous ease. Hak didn’t bother to answer him, instead only directing another glare at the dragon. “Alright, alright, forget I asked!” The dragon put his hands up in mock surrender and retreated back to the low burning campfire barely visible through the trees. Hak sighed again. He really was a fool; Yona would never feel that way for him—a commoner, someone not Soo-won. Hak knew that station wasn’t really a problem for him—having been Son Hak for a time before running, and he knew Yona didn’t think about such things, but his lack of self-worth when it came to Yona’s affection still plagued him.
It was late when he returned to the camp, the fire had burned down and was a deep, glowing red pit stark against the darkness of the forest. Hak was about to head to bed--his tree for the night, when the Princess slipped out of her tent. At first she didn’t see him, but when she crouched by the glowing coals in the fire pit to warm her hands she looked up and froze when she caught his eyes.
“I didn’t think anyone would still be awake…” her voice was small and vulnerable. It took all of Hak’s self-control to restrain himself from gathering her into his arms and rocking her like a small child until she fell asleep again. Instead, he moved slowly to crouch across from her and gave one of his signature smirks.
“I couldn’t sleep, Jae-ha’s snoring is too loud,” they both knew it was a lie, but the Princess let out a quiet chuckle anyways. “What about you, Princess?” Hak knew it was dangerous territory to ask, but he couldn’t help himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What about you, Princess?” There it was, the kind of question Yona always dreaded when it came to Hak. She knew he was just worried about her but she wanted to be strong, she wanted him to see her as more than the princess in her father’s castle. She wanted to show Hak that she wasn’t the weak princess who could only watch as Soo-won tore everything from them. Soo-won. Yona’s eyes fogged over as the name popped into her head.
“Princess?” The dangerous tone in Hak’s voice told her that he had guessed what she was thinking. Always so perceptive, Hak. Yona choked down her unshed tears and composed herself.
“I…also couldn’t sleep,” she gave a weak smile without looking at the warrior. Maybe he would see that she didn’t want to talk and just go to bed? Yea, right. What she didn’t expect was to be met with silence. No witty remark, no snort of laughter, no mocking comment about her intelligence. Curious, Yona looked up from the coals. What she saw made her gasp; Hak’s face was illuminated by the deep red of the simmering heart of the fire and set in an intense scowl, his dark eyes were trained on her and sparked with…something. In that moment, looking at her closest friend’s face, she realized why he had unnerved her so much the past few weeks.
She hadn’t recognized the feelings she was exposed to around Hak because she had no previous experience with them. With Soo-won, the love she felt for him was a combination of respect, adoration, and familial ties. The feelings she had for Soo-won were the feelings she would have had for a mother figure, but were instead forced onto her cousin in her mother’s absence. Now, looking into Hak’s burning eyes she recognized her newest feelings for what they were; love and desire. I am in love with Hak. The realization was like a fresh and powerful gust of wind; clearing away all of her doubts and confused thoughts. Yona gasped and put her hand over her mouth to try and cover the surprised, but pleased sound. Hak raised an unimpressed eyebrow.
“I…just…I’m not feeling well all of a sudden!” Yona stood up and escaped to her tent—Hak let her go. Yona collapsed onto her travelling futon with a small smile on her face. She felt…lighter, like her feelings for Hak had been an unknown burden to her. Now that she had accepted them and realized them for what they were, it was as if she had been freed from some pressing and important thought that never quite made itself clear.
The next morning was not as awkward for Yona as she thought it would be. She felt refreshed—getting a few hours uninterrupted sleep would do that for a person, and Hak wasn’t any different than usual. Why would he be? I haven’t told him anything. Yona thought for a moment that everything could resume in its normal rhythm; she and Hak would trade insults, sleep in the forest under the stars, protect her late father’s kingdom, and adventure with the Happy Hungry Bunch like they have been. Yet, at the idea a deep sadness settled in the bottom of her heart, like she had lost something precious all over again. She realized that she didn’t want it to go back to ‘normal’—she wanted Hak’s love as well. She didn’t want Hak to see her as a silly Princess with thoughts only of a childhood crush filling her head. She wanted to be a strong and fiery woman in Hak’s eyes.
“Miss, if you don’t eat your breakfast Yoon will not be happy,” Zeno’s gentle voice brought her back to the breakfast that she had been neglecting. She smiled at Zeno and finished her food.
The rest of the day turned out to be pleasant for Yona; the Happy Hungry Bunch had decided keep camp for one more day, simply for rest. Yoon was more than grateful to have a day where he could gather some herbs to replenish his pack and then be off his feet. Shin-ah and Kija were happy to spend the day doing whatever caught their attention, and Jae-ha was trying to convince everyone to drink the sake he had ‘acquired’ in the previous town. Yona had excused herself for a bath, saying that she was happy that she could take her time and really scrub.
She needed some time alone to really understand how she felt about Hak, and think about whether it would be fair to tell him. She felt selfish for even loving him; it was her that had asked him to leave his home and the people he was close with—if she told him she was in love with him, it would be almost like demanding he love her back. Wouldn’t it?
She spent her entire bath going in circles; she felt like the girls back in the castle that would pick the petals off of the lovely flowers around the grounds asking, ‘does he love me, or not?’ Yona was no closer to an answer when she walked back into the camp with damp hair and skin pink from scrubbing. Hak was sitting by the fire pit, whittling a chunk of wood into some, currently, undiscernible shape. Kija was nowhere to be found, Shin-ah was napping with Ao in a sunny spot not too far off. Yona couldn’t immediately see Zeno, Jae-ha, or Yoon, so she assumed that they were off spending their day however they saw fit.
“Feeling better, Princess?” Hak rumbled from his spot against the tree. The warrior didn’t look up, but Yona sensed that all of his attention was focused on her.
“Much! Sorry for running away last night,” Yona took up a spot near Hak and watched his hands work the wood. “What are you making?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” Hak’s reply was thoughtful. Yona decided to test the waters; she was sure that Hak didn’t currently have anyone like a woman friend, but maybe he had someone he loved that he had left behind. If such a thing were the case, Yona certainly wouldn’t bother telling him how she felt.
“If…if you had someone you loved, would you make something for them?” Yes, that sounds nice and neutral!
“Hmm,” Hak didn’t answer right away. Yona stared pointedly at the piece of wood still being worked in his large hands. “I might, it depends though.”
“On what?”
“So curious, Princess,” Hak’s hands stopped moving and Yona looked up. The warrior’s eyes were again fixed on her, a predatory glint in them. “It depends…on how much they love me back.” Yona gulped at the absolutely feral grin on Hak’s face. She felt her face heat up under his scrutiny. Yona sat frozen and watched as one of Hak’s hands came up to brush her cheek, just the slightest of touches, enough to set her skin tingling and wanting for more.
“Would you like me to make you something?” Yona’s heart flew into her throat. But…wait.
“Y-yes,” her lips formed the words before her mind could register what was happening.
“Do you love me, Princess?”
“Yes,” the same word, but this time her answer was full of feeling and intent.
“Finally,” was all the warrior said before she was being dragged forward into a crushing embrace. She felt Hak’s lips at the crown of her head as her body was held firmly against the hard muscle of his chest. He dragged her into his lap, his legs still crossed from when he sat against the tree. Her face felt like it was on fire, but she couldn’t stop herself from nuzzling closer and inhaling the warrior’s scent—it reminded her of home. “I love you too, Princess…for so long I have loved you.”
The warrior pulled back and placed his hands on either side of her face and bent at the waist to meet her gaze. There was a question in his deep blue eyes, ‘is this okay?’ Yona met them and gave an almost imperceptible nod. She closed her eyes and tilted her head up, expecting Hak to kiss her. She waited…and waited. Feeling awkward, she opened her eyes again to see Hak just hovering above her, just…looking at her.
“Hak?” she questioned with a breathy voice.
“I’m not going any further until you tell me about your nightmares,” the warrior’s voice was stern and unyielding, his breath washed over her lips and sent a shiver down her spine. Bear. Yona huffed with irritation. “I mean it Princess, neither of us is moving until you tell me what it is you dream that bothers you so much.” To emphasize his point Hak gripped her waist with enough force to keep her still, but not bruise. Yona took a steadying breath and composed her thoughts.
“It’s all falling down. In my dream; everything is falling down,” Yona’s throat started to constrict with unshed tears as she talked. “I thought that you, Soo-won, and I would build a dynasty that not even the heavens could shake. I was wrong, so very wrong. My dream—my nightmare is watching it all fall around me, over and over, and eventually I get swallowed by the destruction and the flame,” tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now, but her voice remained steady as she replayed the dream for Hak. “In the middle of it all stands a figure; he laughs with his head thrown back at my pain. He has no face, but he wears…my father’s…crown,” Yona was crying openly now, ugly sobs escaping her lips. “That is…my nightmare…Hak.”
“Princess…” there was deep pain in Hak’s voice, and he pulled her close when she finished speaking. Tucking her head under his chin Hak began to rock slowly, his warm hands rubbing soothing circles into her back as she calmed down. When she was calmed down, only the occasional hiccup belying that she had been sobbing, did Hak speak again.
“You’ve been carrying that with you since we left the castle? Princess, there really is something wrong with your brain—you should have told me about it,” she could hear the scowl in Hak’s voice, she huffed out a giggle. “That tickles Princess, and it’s not funny.” Abruptly, she was being pulled away from her spot tucked under Hak’s chin. Hak repositioned her in his lap so that she was facing him; his hands cradled her face and his eyes locked on her own.
“Hak…?” Yona was suddenly nervous at the look in his eyes.
“I’m going to kiss you now, Princess,” the warrior’s voice was husky as his nose brushed her hair. His lips placed a feather-light kiss on her forehead and were gone again. Her eyes fluttered closed at the tingling sensation that passed through her spine at the sweet, yet intimate contact. This. I want this. Next, Hak’s lips placed a single kiss on each of her eyelids, removing any remnants of her tears from earlier. His thumbs brushed small circles on her cheeks as he kissed the tip of her nose. Yona’s heart was hammering in her chest as she anticipated where the warrior would kiss her next. However, true to his nature Hak surprised her again. He skipped her lips; parted in anticipation, and kissed either corner of her mouth—chaste kisses that she barely felt, but set her skin alight with sensation in their wake.
“H-Hak…” Yona was breathless with the desire to feel his lips on hers—something, she realized now, that she had desired for so long.
“Yes, Princess?” Hak’s voice was distracted as he kissed along her jawline.
“Kiss me, properly,” she put as much command into her voice as she could muster, considering the way the warrior had her shivering under his ministrations.
“As the Princess commands.” Yona realized, as Hak’s lips captured her own in a searing kiss that the warrior had been waiting for her explicit consent.
Kissing Hak was like watching him fight. It was wonderful, dangerous, overpowering, and absolutely breathtaking. Yona was swept up in the way that his lips moved against hers, the way that their breath mingled, and the way that he tasted. There was no comparison to anything that she had experienced in her years that was similar to the way she felt kissing Hak in that moment.
When they pulled apart Yona was surprised to see a small flush on Hak’s cheeks and, she noted with a small smile, he was also breathing hard. So he is as affected by me as I him. They sat for a moment, neither saying anything as they just contented themselves with being close to the other. Finally, Hak broke the silence.
“I cannot rebuild what was torn down, but I can work to ensure that it will never fall again…Yona,” her name on his lips struck a chord deep within her and she gasped. She grasped his shirt and pulled him in for another bruising kiss, a small moan escaping her lips as she wriggled in his lap, trying to get closer. Not close enough. Hak huffed in amusement at her sudden display, but kissed her back with as much passion. When she attempted to take it a step further by slipping her hand into his robe, Hak broke the kiss with a grunt of frustration and leaned in to whisper in her ear.
“I will not spend our first time in a forest with a potential audience. When I take you it will be in the safety and complete privacy somewhere of our choosing, as I intend to…worship you, Princess,” the growl in Hak’s voice had her toes curling. Damn him, but he’s right.
“I love you, Hak,” she whispered in response. Yona could only hold on as Hak swept her up into another searing kiss.
Neither of them noticed when the blue dragon had excused himself from his sunny clearing not far off and took up a silent vigil so that the two would remain undisturbed.
It all fell down, but he was there to hold what was left.