Chapter Text
He never realized it.
How much he longed to be freed from the shackles that he created.
Born with responsibilities from the moment he took his first breath in the world. Expectation and reputation that he must upheld at all cost and a facade that he himself created, believed until it was shattered. Even when he ran away from that place, he still wasn't freed.
It was just moved from another place but this place welcomed him differently. They saw him as Zanka and not Zanka Nijiku, it was like that person was an entirely different from him. They didn't mind if he made a mistake or his past. They just…didn't care.
He made his first friend, was mentored by someone he admires and was away from that place but he still kept that facade—almost like a habit that he can't break—almost like a reminder.
A caged bird. No matter where he goes even if he was free, there's always something that binds him to that place. Almost like his home garden. Surrounded by flowers that he can't name.
Beautiful ones. Captivate. Almost like they're calling his name, demanding his attention. Away from the outside world. Away from the inking ooze.
How funny.
It moved like liquid but also not. The ooze was strange and what was weirder is that he felt a familiar sense into it. He doesn't know what that thing is but…he felt calm? He wasn't really sure what words can describe what he's feeling.
The garden was also strange, even although the world was purged with darkness, the garden still shined with light. Feeding the flowers and roots. Zanka crouched down slowly, eyeing the flower colored with blue and purple. His hand lifted, reaching for the petals—"Zanka." His name called.
His movement halted, shoulder stiffened at the sound of the voice. Firm, cold and commanding. And he knew only one person who sounds like that—Kyouka, his elder sister.
Zanka turned his gaze away from the flower and stared at his sister. Her posture straight, uniform intact, hands behind her back and eyes looking down at him. Almost like he was the dirt on her shoes.
He retracted his hand immediately and looked away from her gaze. He didn't say anything. Can't really. It was like his body refusing to cooperate with him. It trembled pathetically under her gaze.
He heard footsteps coming closer and closer, her shoes stayed rooted next to him. She didn't say anything, didn't look him down. Just stared ahead in the field. "Do you know why we have these fields." She said.
Zanka looked up at her. He never really thought much of it, always busy with something. Either training or just in his room. "…Not really." He said.
Kyouka glanced down at him for a second before diverting her attention ahead. It was too quick from him to know whether she was disappointed at his answer or something else. Should he have known the answer to her question? Was it important to know?
Kyouka bent down slightly and picked up the same flower that he had his eyes on. She snapped the flower from its root and straightened her posture. Zanka looked at the same place, hurtful that he can't gaze at it anymore.
"It is to show that we're powerful."
Zanka looked up at her, she held the flower, looking at it before her nails clenched the flower, crushing it—petals fell down on the ground and Zanka could only look, stare as they fall.
She unclenched her hand and let the once beautiful flower fall to the ground with the petals. Zanka wanted to reach for the flower but Kyouka made things clear to him. His nails dig into his skin, looking away from the flower.
"These flowers are replaceable." She said. "Just like anything else."
Kyouka glanced at him, her earing dangled lightly, her face natural, no sight on emotions. "Do not get attached to them." She simply told.
A warning. Or an advice. Zanka doesn't really know.
Kyouka turned, walking out. She glanced behind and at him. "Let's go," She said. Zanka nodded and quickly got up, he brush the dirt off his clothes and quickly caught up to her.
They walked side by side without a word being said, nervousness bubbled in his chest as they got closer to being outside of the garden. "Are we going to the dungeons?" Zanka asked.
Kyouka's step fluttered for a second before resuming, she glanced at him with something he doesn't know. "Next time." She said. Zanka nodded at that without a word.
His step halted when they arrived, door already open and the inking ooze was just outside.
Kyouka stopped and glanced at him, waiting for him to come. Zanka, hesitantly looked back at the garden, it was strikingly beautiful but he can't let his elder sister wait too long. She hates waiting. He glanced at her before he finally took a step.
Kyouka nodded at him and when Zanka caught up to her, they started walking together. His steps halted once again when he was right in front of the ooze. It didn't reek of any smell, he could almost feel the texture of the ooze.
Something that would stick with him no matter how hard he rubbed it off. Something that only he can see and no one else. As if he's tainted of something dark.
Zanka took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart but it never did, it echoed through his ear, echoed through the garden, only the sound of his heart beats loudly. He took another breath and closed his eyes shut.
And walked—
Zanka gasped, eyes wide open. His hand clenched on the sheets, breath stuttering and heart beating loud. He stared at the pale ceiling with heavy breaths, confused and disoriented. He slowly sat up, a hand went through his hair.
He could almost feel the phantom ooze tracing his body, slowly entering through his mouth, through his nose—Zanka shook his head, running that thought away. It was just a dream, He thought, that's all.
He needs to get ready to train. A sigh left his lips. He pulled the blanket away, his toes touched the hard wood. He rubbed his head, glancing at Assistaff. He leaned forward, reaching for her.
He held her in grasp, another sigh left his lips, almost in relief. He gently caressed her, getting the feeling of her. A calm sense washed over him. It was always her that makes him feel in peaceful, no matter the situation.
If she was by his side then he can get anything done. He wants to admire her more but he still needs to get ready. A disappointed sigh escaped his lips, he placed her on his bed and pushed himself up, ready to start the day.
Zanka heard the soft click behind him. The hallway, dark and eerily silent, it was far early to find anyone awake. Zanka glanced at Assistaff, clenching the staff. He then began walking towards the backyard to warm up a little before he starts training with Assistaff.
The walk there was silent, only the echo of his footsteps was heard. Something about not hearing about a brat makes the trip more peaceful. It was already annoying that he has to mentor him.
It's bring him a headache—whatever, think about the result, not the process. Before he heads to train like usually, Zanka made a quick stop to the reception hall and was greeted by Semiu who was already there on her desk with a so-not-kids-friendly magazine.
Zanka walked closer to her desk and ignored the sight of the magazine and its content. "Morning, Semiu." He said. Semiu didn't glance up at him, she flipped to another page and hummed in response, a quite morning greeted him back. "Training?" She then simply asked.
Zanka solemnly nodded, "Yes, the usual." He told. Semiu grumbled then sighed, she finally looked up to him, gazing at him with almost knowing knowledge. "Take breaks, alright?" She said.
He nodded at her, Semiu then got back to reading. Zanka turned and started heading to the courtyard. It was almost like a routine at this point, greeting Semiu and engage in small talks before he heads to training.
The first time it happened, it was an accident. He hadn't meant for her to notice him, he was just hungry and the thought of food sounded appealing to him. He took the long way around the HQ to avoid being spotted and known that he was awake before dawn by Enjin or others.
He went on his own pace and let his thought wonder, he turned towards the stairs and went down. That's when he stopped in his tracks when his eyes landed on Semiu going up the stairs, eyes already on him.
He didn't utter a word when Semiu caught him. She didn't either. She asked where was he going and accompanied him there. The whole walk was awkward, he was worried that he messed up or something but Semiu didn't mention it when morning peaked.
She caught him again when he's about to head to training and when he tried to avoid her but when you have a giver who can see the future? seems pretty hopeless to avoid her.
Zanka decided that he would go and greet her instead of playing cat and mouse with her, then the chase stopped after that, seems like he was easing Semiu or something, he wasn't really sure.
Zanka finally arrived at the courtyard, he took a deep breath of the morning air and sighed. He placed Assistaff gently on the bench and stood in the quiet courtyard, took another deep breath, letting his body relax.
Zanka then began to stretch—his back, leg, arm, neck—a few popped came from his joints. His body was stiff from the still sleep, a sigh left his lips. Zanka stretched for a few more minutes before deciding it was enough.
He began some light exercises—jogging, push ups, jumping squats—then moving to the more intense exercises. Zanka stood up and breathed, he held his breath for 4 seconds then exhaled, he paused then repeated a few more before finally deemed ready to hold Assistaff.
Zanka felt the smooth wood underneath his fingerprints and the bandages that wrapped around parts of Assistaff. He stared at her for a moment, a breath inhaled, then he reached the familiar flame inside him.
His steps turned and with it, Assistaff sliced the air, her form changed. He spun Assistaff around, his body stayed rooted. Zanke inhaled, a step forward and thrust Assistaff. He spun around and swinged her—it almost feels like he was dancing with Assistaff.
But the difference was he wasn't actively trying to beat anyone. His motions was fluid, steps light and grip tight on Assistaff. A sigh left his lips, sweat rolled on his skin.
He deactivated Assistaff and wiped his sweats with his shirt. Zanka glanced up in the sky and that specific star was there. It wasn't always there when he tries to find it early but always seems to find it when he's here. The star was like a clock that was set up for him to know when to wrap up the training.
Zanka didn't know how long he spent training but it was always around that time that he leaves the courtyard. Zanka walked through the empty hallway with a new goal in mind before heading for breakfast.
Maybe he should learn other forms. He isn't getting any good, any faster. Should he take more solo missions? Would they raise questions if he asks? He doesn't want the others question him.
He hates being vulnerable in front of them and he hates being weaker more then anything. Assistaff isn't the reason for his weakness, it was him that was weak. That's why he needs to get stronger.
Maybe he should increase the weight of the training. They aren't bring any progress to him.
Zanka spotted his room and jogged through the hallway. He held the handle and opened the door, he was greeted the sight of his room. He quickly shut the door behind him.
He placed Assistaff on his bed, his gaze lingered for a moment before he shifted his attention away. Zanka glanced at the bathroom and was reminded of the sweat that build up. He took his shirt off, a breath of relief left his lips, free from the clenched, sweated shirt.
Zanka approached his desk, folding the gross shirt and placed it on the desk. He turned towards the bathroom, turning the light on and headed to shower. He wanted the sweat that collected on his skin gone.
He turned the shower on then adjusted the heat to more icy temperature. He took the rest of his clothes off and tested the water again. It was good enough for him and he hopped in the cold icy water.
Zanka got out of the bathroom with fresh long set of clothes, hair dripping on his shoulder. He ruffled his hair with a towel and sat on the chair beside his desk. He glanced at the mess of books that was on his desk.
It was mostly about toxicology that he found in the library HQ. Ever since that trap from the Raiders to kidnap Rudo, there haven't been any kidnap attempt made on Rudo but they were still in high alert.
Zanka never forgot the humiliation that he faced that day. Even although, he shouldn't count that fight as fair but when was life ever fair to him? He's been researching anything about toxin. From plants to chemicals to even naturally found.
He didn't want Jabber to have any advantage over him. It's going to difficult but he's already used to that.
Zanka let's the towel rest on his shoulder and reached out for one of the books resting on his desk. He opened the book and flipped through the pages. A hum left his lips.
Anything can turn into poison. It's just the matter of quantity and context. For example, cleaning products. If a person mixes two or more then it could turn into a deadly poison.
A heating system or an engine can leak an odorless gas if not taken care of correctly. It could leak a dangerous gas that could kill in a matter of minutes or hours depending on the exposer.
It was interesting to say the least.
Poison was always available for him when he was at Kamuatari. He could just wave a hand to one of the servants and they would bring it to him. The Nijiku taught him the methods but never the hows.
He always enjoyed learning new things. He could implement the knowledge during his mission—ah, that reminds him, he should get more training manuals in the library, maybe it will hel—a knock tore through the silent room.
Zanka turned to look at the door, a brow arched up in confusion. He got up from the chair and walked towards his door, he gripped the handle then pushed it down.
The door creaked open and Zanka peeked through it—"Gris?" Zanka said with a raised brow. He widen the door to get a better view on the other man. "Why are you here?"
Gris crossed his arm and a brow raised at him, his foot shifted to another. "Why am I here?" He said then shook his head, almost like in a hopeless manner. "I'm here to get you to breakfast."
"Breakfast?"
Gris leaned forward, "Yes." He stated then leaned back. "It's already past eight. I'm here to get you."
What…? Zanka raised a brow at him, he glanced back to his room and his eyes landed at the window. It was already past dawn and the sun rose with bright light. Had he been reading long? He hadn't felt the time pass so quickly. "Oh…" Passed through.
He glanced back at Gris and nodded at him. The other sighed then stepped away. Zanka stepped outside and closed the door behind him.
Zanka walked beside Gris through the empty hallway, it was quiet and awkward. He felt bad that Gris has to get him every time he forgets. Gris, although never admitted, was always the mom of the group.
The person who voiced reason and worry over others. He never had someone caring—Kyouka cared? Yes, she cared for him. Goka cared? about him too.
Riyo and Enjin care obviously! And Rudo too, he guessed. Zanka passed through the reception and nodded at Semiu and walked a bit more before entering the dining room.
He spotted Rudo and Riyo from a far, they were already there before him. He walked ahead of Gris and approached them.
Zanka sat beside Riyo who was nodding off sleepily. He turned his gaze to Rudo…and he was staring at his food. "Yo Rudo," Zanka called but no answer came from the other.
Zanka clenched his fists and breathed through his nose. "Yo Rudo," He called out a bit loudly but only silence met his answer.
Zanka looked closely at Rudo and a small snore left throat. What the hell? Zanka stared with surprise. "Is he sleeping…with his eyes open?" Zanka uttered.
That was—an odd habit. He wasn't sure if Rudo even knows about it but Zanka was glad that he learned about it early on because if he ever saw Rudo sleeping at night with his eyes open then that might have scared the living shit out of him.
"They're sleeping again?"
Zanka glanced back and saw Enjin and Gris walking towards him. So, that's where Gris went, he went to get Enjin. He wondered what Enjin has for them today.
Enjin stood in front, his hand on his hips, his eyes glanced at Rudo and Riyo then sighed. Enjin stepped closer to Rudo and hit him on the head.
Rudo jolted with surprise and fell back, hitting the floor. Enjin turned his gaze away from Rudo and glanced at Gris, he pointed his chin to Riyo. Gris sighed then nodded, he turned his gaze away from Enjin.
Rudo popped up, angry as expected and held his head. "Oi, what was that for!" Rudo yelled out. Zanka turned his gaze and glanced beside him. Gris held her shoulder and shook her gently. Riyo googly woke up, eyes blinked once then twice. She stretched her back then hunched forward, she rubbed her eyes, a yawn escaped her lips.
Zanka shifted his gaze away and stared at Enjin. Rudo grumbled, taking his seat again and Riyo rested her head on the table, still googly but aware. Enjin stood and huffed, "We got a mission under our belt." He told.