Archive of Our Own

“Are you going already?”

Dohoon did not turn when the question came. He was crouched near the door, fingers working the laces of his shoes back into place, attention fixed on the small, practical task as if it could anchor him in the moment just a little longer. The room behind him still carried warmth, the kind that clung to skin and sheets alike, and he was aware of it without letting himself linger on it. It was already late. Too late, considering he had class the next day. Noon, sure, but that did not mean he could afford to lose the rest of the night.

He let out a quiet hum in response, a vague acknowledgment rather than a full answer. His bag sat by the edge of the bed, and he reached for it once his shoes were on, slinging it over his shoulder with practiced ease. His phone lit up in his hand as he checked the status of the cab he had booked, eyes scanning the screen for any update. Only then did he glance back.

Shinyu had just stepped out of the shower. His hair was still damp, droplets trailing down the length of his neck and disappearing beneath the loose waistband of his shorts. His upper body was bare, and Dohoon’s gaze caught, unwillingly, on the marks scattered across his skin. They stood out more than Dohoon expected, darker against the pale expanse, unmistakable in their origin. A faint tension curled in his chest at the sight, something close to embarrassment, something he pushed down immediately.

“Yeah. I’ll see you around, hyung,” Dohoon said, voice steady enough, already turning away before the words fully settled in the air.

He did not wait for a response. The door clicked shut behind him, and the quiet of the hallway replaced the atmosphere he had just left.

It had been almost a year since this arrangement started between them.

Friends with benefits. That was the simplest way to put it, the most convenient label for something neither of them had bothered to define beyond that. No expectations, no complications. Just something they both agreed on without needing to say too much.

They had not always been like this.

Back when they were first assigned to the same dorm room, Shinyu was already a sophomore, and Dohoon had just stepped into university life as a freshman. For an entire year, they existed in the same space without really existing for each other. They moved around one another with quiet acknowledgment, small nods here and there, but nothing that resembled an actual connection. It was not really hostility. Not at all. It was simply awkwardness and distance.

Shinyu kept to himself, his presence calm and contained, rarely extending beyond what was necessary. Dohoon, on the other hand, was almost always out, surrounded by people, pulled into different circles, eager to experience everything that came with being new. Their schedules rarely aligned, and even when they did, neither of them made the effort to bridge the gap.

They lived like strangers who happened to share a room.

When their dorm contracts were renewed, and they ended up assigned to the same room again, something in Dohoon shifted. Maybe it was the familiarity, or maybe it was the realization that another year would pass the same way if he did nothing. It felt strange, continuing like that. Sharing a space with someone for that long and still having nothing to say to them felt off in a way he couldn't exactly ignore.

So he tried.

It wasn't easy. There was the unspoken hierarchy that came with their year difference, something Dohoon remained aware of even when he didn’t want to be. On top of that, Shinyu was not the type to open up easily. He carried himself in a way that made him seem distant without trying, composed to the point that approaching him felt like stepping into unfamiliar territory.

Whenever people asked about his dormmate, Dohoon found himself describing Shinyu in simple, almost detached terms. Shin Junghwan, or Shinyu as most called him, was the kind of person parents liked immediately. He was good-looking, with a build that drew attention even when he was just standing still. He spoke softly, always polite, always measured. He looked like someone who had everything in order.

And he was popular.

Dohoon noticed it more when others pointed it out. People asked about Shinyu often, curious, sometimes even eager for details. It became more obvious after that one time Shinyu dyed his hair pink. The change had been subtle in action but striking in effect. Heads turned when he walked by, and conversations paused for a second longer than usual. Even Dohoon had to admit it suited him more than he expected.

Still, all of that remained surface-level.

That was why the image Dohoon stumbled upon one night stayed with him.

He had come back late, the noise and energy of the evening still lingering in his system as he stepped into the dorm. He expected the room to be dark, quiet, the way it usually was at that hour. Instead, he found the sliding glass door to the balcony slightly open, and beyond it, Shinyu stood with a cigarette between his fingers.

Dohoon stopped where he was.

For a moment, he simply stared. The sight did not match the version of Shinyu he had in his head. The composed, almost untouchable good boy image shifted into something else entirely under the dim light of the balcony. The cigarette burned faintly, the smoke curling upward before disappearing into the night air.

It took him a second too long to realize he had been caught staring.

Shinyu turned his head, eyes landing on him with a quiet question. His brow lifted slightly, not in annoyance but in mild curiosity, as if asking what exactly Dohoon found so surprising.

Dohoon moved then, dropping his bag onto his bed without breaking eye contact for too long. The hesitation faded quickly, replaced by the familiar ease he carried in most situations. He walked toward the balcony, sliding the glass door open wider, only to be met with the sharp scent of cigarette smoke.

“I didn’t know you smoked, hyung,” he said, his gaze flicking briefly to the cigarette before settling on Shinyu.

Shinyu did not answer right away. He looked at Dohoon for a moment, then turned his attention back outward, bringing the cigarette to his lips. The faint glow brightened as he inhaled, then dimmed again as he exhaled, careful to angle the smoke away.

“When did you start smoking, hyung? How come this is the only time I’ve seen you smoke?” Dohoon continued, curiosity clear in his voice.

“Close the door behind you so the smell won’t get in our room,” Shinyu said.

The tone was calm but firm enough that Dohoon followed the instruction without question. He slid the glass door shut before stepping closer to the railing, leaning slightly as he glanced around. Most of the dorm rooms around them were dark, curtains drawn, lights off. It made sense then. If Shinyu smoked at all, this would be the time to do it, when no one else was paying attention.

Silence settled between them, not uncomfortable but unfamiliar. Dohoon found himself watching Shinyu from the corner of his eye, noticing the small details he had overlooked before.

“Was being a third year so hard that it made you smoke?” he asked eventually.

Shinyu ran a hand through his hair, fingers pushing strands back. He did not even look at Dohoon when he answered.

“Kind of… yeah.”

The response was simple, but it lingered.

Shinyu tapped the cigarette against the edge of a can, putting it out before tossing the remains into the small trash bin they kept on the balcony. The action felt final in a quiet way, as if marking the end of something Dohoon had only just begun to notice.

“Does it help… you know? Relieve stress?” Dohoon asked, watching as Shinyu lowered himself to sit against the railing.

Shinyu looked up at him then, a faint chuckle slipping through.

“Nah, not really.”

Dohoon huffed softly, shaking his head. “That’s quite useless then. Have you tried drinking?”

A grin tugged at his lips as he spoke, the idea forming as naturally as it always did when he thought of unwinding. He had not actually tried drinking properly before. There had been moments, of course, times when upperclassmen pushed drinks into their hands during events, but those did not count since he only had sips. He had made it a point to avoid it unless he felt completely safe.

Shinyu’s gaze lingered on him for a second before he nodded.

“Of course. I prefer drinking alone, though.”

“Ah, that sucks. You should try drinking with me then,” Dohoon said, the excitement in his tone unmistakable.

The dorm would be the safest place for it. Even if it was technically not allowed, it was easy enough to get around the rules. People did it all the time.

Shinyu raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement breaking through his usual composure. “Do you even drink?”

Dohoon shook his head immediately, grin widening. “Nope. How about we have a roomie drinking party this weekend, hyung? We’ve been living together since I was a freshman, and now I’m already in my second year. Let’s use that time to get to know each other.”

The suggestion hung in the air for a moment before Shinyu laughed, the sound softer than Dohoon expected. He pushed himself up from where he sat, moving toward the sliding door and pulling it open.

“Took you long enough to get to know your roommate, huh?” Shinyu said as he stepped back inside. “Let’s head in. It’s getting cold.”

“So this weekend?” Dohoon pressed, following him in, the smile still present.

Shinyu hummed, noncommittal. “I’ll think about it.”

“I know your schedule, hyung.”

“Of course, our schedules are on the corkboard,” Shinyu replied, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly as he let out another quiet laugh.

By the time the weekend came around, Dohoon had already decided that he would follow through with what he suggested, regardless of how half-hearted Shinyu’s response sounded back then. The thought stayed in his mind the entire week, sitting somewhere between excitement and curiosity. It felt like an opportunity, something small but meaningful, a way to finally break whatever distance still lingered between them despite sharing a room for more than a year.

Shinyu didn't exactly look enthusiastic when Dohoon brought it up again, but he didn’t refuse either, and to Dohoon… that was enough.

Dohoon also took it upon himself to prepare everything. It took more effort than he initially expected, especially sneaking in bottles of soju and a few cans of beer without drawing attention. The dorm rules made it clear that alcohol was not allowed, but that only made the process feel more thrilling to him. He planned carefully, slipping the bottles into his bag and making sure no one questioned him on his way back to their room.

By the time everything was set, the space between their beds became the center of attention. The beds were pushed against opposite walls, leaving enough room in between for them to sit on the floor. Dohoon arranged the food neatly, placing containers of snacks and a box of popcorn chicken within reach. The drinks sat in the middle, the bottles catching the dim light of the room.

Shinyu sat down across from him, posture relaxed but expression unreadable, as if he was simply going along with whatever Dohoon decided to do.

Dohoon noticed that, but he chose to ignore it.

Instead, he focused on the moment, watching as Shinyu reached for the bottles and began mixing soju and beer in a glass. The movement looked practiced, smooth in a way that suggested that he’d done it before. Dohoon leaned forward slightly, eyes following every step, quietly observing.

When Shinyu handed him a glass, Dohoon accepted it without hesitation. He studied the liquid for a brief second before glancing back up, catching the way Shinyu lifted his own glass and took a sip without much thought.

Dohoon mirrored the action.

The moment the drink touched his lips, the burn followed almost immediately. It traveled down his throat, sharp and unfamiliar, making his face scrunch up before he could stop himself. He let out a quiet sound of discomfort, quickly reaching for a piece of popcorn chicken and popping it into his mouth in an attempt to get rid of the lingering taste.

Shinyu watched him, amusement clear in his expression.

“You still want to continue this? You can just drink cola. I can finish this,” Shinyu said, the slight grin on his lips carrying a teasing edge that Dohoon did not miss.

It felt like a challenge.

Dohoon straightened slightly, his brows knitting together as he looked at the glass in his hand. The taste still lingered, unpleasant enough to make him reconsider for a split second, but the idea of backing down in front of Shinyu bothered him more.

Without saying anything, he lifted the glass again and took another sip.

The burn remained just as strong, if not stronger, but this time he managed to keep his expression steadier. He swallowed, then reached for more food to balance it out, chewing slowly as if that could somehow make the experience easier.

Shinyu laughed, the sound soft but unmistakably amused.

Dohoon chose to ignore him, focusing instead on eating while occasionally taking small sips from his drink. The bitterness of the alcohol stayed persistent, and he found himself frowning slightly as he leaned his back against the edge of his bed, glass still in hand.

“I don’t get why you people like alcohol,” he muttered, absentmindedly swirling what remained in his glass.

“Told you to just get cola. You’re just too stubborn,” Shinyu replied, his tone light, a small smile still present.

Dohoon turned his head toward him, brows furrowed for a second before he shook his head, letting the comment pass.

“Anyway, I didn’t know you talk, hyung,” Dohoon said, a chuckle slipping through. “I mean, I didn’t really hear you that much before. I didn’t know you could actually hold a conversation.”

Shinyu tilted his head slightly, a hint of curiosity in his gaze. “Should I be offended by that?”

Dohoon shrugged, unconcerned.

“I don’t really talk to people first. So if you don’t talk to me, I won’t talk to you either.”

“But you’re older than me, though? You should’ve at least made a conversation with your roommate,” Dohoon insisted, taking another sip of his drink despite the lingering resistance his body still showed toward it.

“I didn’t really see any reason why I should. Besides, you’re not often here anyway,” Shinyu said, his shoulders lifting slightly in a casual shrug.

Dohoon stared at him for a moment, processing the response before a small frown formed on his face.

“That’s mean,” he said, though there was no real weight behind it. “Well, I’m here now. We’re talking now, so you’ll probably feel my presence more than ever.”

Shinyu did not argue with that. If anything, the faint curve of his lips suggested he found it amusing once again.

The night unfolded in that rhythm. The drinks stayed between them, gradually decreasing as time passed, while the conversation shifted from one topic to another. Most of it came from Dohoon, his questions flowing naturally, driven by curiosity that had built up over the past year.

Shinyu answered each one with a quiet ease, occasionally letting out a small laugh at Dohoon’s enthusiasm. Through those conversations, Dohoon learned things he never expected to know. Shinyu was the youngest in his family, something that surprised Dohoon, given how composed he always seemed. He preferred being alone, found comfort in quieter spaces, and the pink hair that drew so much attention before came from losing a bet rather than any personal choice.

Each detail added another layer to the person Dohoon thought he understood.

It didn’t take long before the alcohol started to take effect.

At first, it was subtle. Warmth spreading through his chest, a slight heaviness in his limbs. Then his thoughts began to blur at the edges, his focus shifting slower than usual. He blinked more often, trying to steady his gaze as he looked at Shinyu, who seemed unaffected in comparison.

And, of course, Shinyu noticed.

He paused for a moment, studying Dohoon with a look that quickly turned into a quiet laugh as he shook his head.

“Go shower to sober up. I’ll fix everything here before you even pass out,” Shinyu said, already pushing himself up from the floor.

Dohoon did not move right away. He stayed where he was, watching as Shinyu moved around the room, gathering empty containers and bottles with efficient movements. There was something oddly calming about it, the way Shinyu handled everything without making a big deal out of it.

But there was still something on Dohoon’s mind.

A question that had been brought up too many times by others, something he never knew how to answer properly.

“Hey, hyung?”

His voice came out softer than usual, slightly unfocused as his eyes tried to follow Shinyu’s movements.

Shinyu hummed in response, though he didn’t look back, still busy with cleaning.

“People had been asking if you’re single. How do I answer that?”

That made Shinyu pause.

He stopped in the middle of washing the glasses, turning his head slightly to look at Dohoon, one eyebrow raised.

“Who’s asking?”

“A lot of people,” Dohoon said, a grin forming despite the haze settling over him. “Last year, when they learned that we’re dormmates, people kept asking me about you.”

Shinyu let out a quiet chuckle before returning to what he was doing, rinsing the glasses and placing them carefully on the rack.

Dohoon watched him move, his gaze following every small action until Shinyu disappeared into the bathroom for a moment. The sound of running water filled the room briefly before it stopped, and then Shinyu came back out, a damp towel in his hand.

“What did you tell them?” Shinyu asked as he approached.

He crouched down in front of Dohoon, bringing the towel up to his face.

Dohoon flinched slightly at the cold touch, then relaxed as he realized what Shinyu was doing. The damp fabric pressed gently against his cheek, wiping away any residue from the night, the motion careful and unhurried.

“I told them the basics, of course. I don’t know anything about you,” Dohoon said, tilting his head slightly to make it easier for Shinyu to reach.

“Hm? What basics?” Shinyu asked, extending his hand.

Dohoon placed his hand in Shinyu’s palm without thinking much about it, watching as Shinyu wiped along his arm.

“That you’re good-looking and quiet,” Dohoon said with a soft laugh. “So answer my question so I’d have something to say once I get asked again.”

Shinyu did not respond immediately. He continued wiping Dohoon’s skin, moving from his arm to any exposed area within reach, his touch steady and careful. There was a gentleness to it that Dohoon did not expect, something that made him relax further despite the coldness of the towel.

After a moment, Shinyu stood and went back to the bathroom before returning again.

“I don’t date. At least not now. I have no plans,” Shinyu said.

Dohoon’s eyes widened at that, surprise cutting through the haze of alcohol.

“Impossible,” he blurted out, earning a laugh from Shinyu.

The thought seemed absurd to him. Someone like Shinyu not dating anyone felt hard to believe.

“Do you prefer men or women?” Dohoon asked, the question slipping out without hesitation.

Shinyu looked taken aback for a brief moment, though he recovered quickly, reaching out to tap Dohoon’s cheek lightly.

“Your questions are quite personal for someone who has just started getting to know his dormmate of one year.”

Dohoon laughed, though his gaze stayed fixed on Shinyu, searching for any hint of an answer beyond the words.

“Isn’t this part of getting to know each other? Knowing your dormmate’s preferences?”

“That’s not something you’d normally ask someone, Dohoon,” Shinyu replied, a soft chuckle following.

“I’m different, hyung. So tell me. I won’t tell a soul if you ask me to,” Dohoon insisted, his eyes bright despite the sluggishness in his movements.

Shinyu shook his head, laughing as he flicked Dohoon’s forehead lightly.

“You’re so nosy. Go shower.”

Dohoon rubbed his forehead, a pout forming as he looked up at him.

“You won’t even answer my question.”

“Ask me again once you’re sober, Dohoon-ah,” Shinyu said, his tone calm, the small smile still present.

Dohoon stared at him for a second, then his expression shifted, a new thought forming just as quickly.

“Okay, I’ll change my question,” he said, leaning forward slightly. “To my really attractive and nice hyung, are you a virgin?”

The reaction was immediate.

Shinyu’s expression shifted, surprise flashing across his face before it softened into something more awkward. A laugh followed, quieter this time, as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I would like to opt out of this conversation, and you’re probably just drunk, Dohoon,” Shinyu said.

But Dohoon shook his head, his focus unwavering despite everything.

Shinyu’s laughter came easily at that point, the sound slipping out in a way that carried both disbelief and amusement. From where Dohoon sat, slightly swaying but trying his best to stay focused, it felt like Shinyu found him more entertaining than anything else. The older reached out without much thought and ruffled Dohoon’s hair, fingers moving through the damp strands that still clung together from the earlier wipe.

“Why are you even curious about that?” Shinyu asked, voice light, though there was a trace of genuine curiosity beneath it. “Don’t tell me someone asked that as well?”

Dohoon pressed his lips into a thin line, eyes narrowing slightly as he tried to gather his thoughts. The alcohol still lingered in his system, making everything feel slower, heavier, yet oddly clearer in certain moments. He shook his head after a second, letting out a small breath.

“Not really,” he admitted. “I mean… seeing you smoke surprised me, so I figured maybe there are other things you’re hiding from your roomie.”

Shinyu’s brows lifted at that, one corner of his lips curving upward. “You know, you’re quite something when you’re drunk,” he said, tone carrying a quiet kind of amusement. “Go shower. Let’s continue talking once you’ve sobered up a bit. I’ll try answering some of your questions, although I’ve been doing that for the past few hours.”

Dohoon scrunched his nose in response, the expression settling into a pout as his cheeks remained flushed from the alcohol. He did not look convinced, but he also did not argue much further.

“Fine,” he muttered, though there was still a stubborn edge in his voice. “You'd better answer my questions later.”

He pushed himself up from the floor, movements slightly unsteady but determined. His hand reached for the cabinet, pulling out a pair of light blue matching pajamas before turning toward the bathroom. His steps were not entirely straight, but he managed, disappearing behind the door with a quiet click.

Time blurred inside the bathroom.

Dohoon couldn’t quite tell how long he stayed there. The warmth of the water, the steady sound of it hitting the tiles, and the lingering effect of alcohol created a strange sense of comfort that made his body feel heavier than usual. At some point, his mind drifted, his eyes closing for longer than he intended.

The knock on the door pulled him back.

“Dohoon?”

Shinyu’s voice came from the other side, firm enough to cut through the haze.

Dohoon blinked, slowly becoming aware of where he was. His head felt lighter than before, though his vision still carried a faint blur. He turned off the shower, the sudden quiet replacing the steady rush of water.

“I’m up,” he muttered, though his voice came out softer than expected.

“Go out already and sleep,” Shinyu said from outside, tone calmer this time.

Dohoon let out a small hum in response, moving through the rest of his routine without much thought. He dried his body quickly, not paying much attention to his hair, leaving it damp as he slipped into his pajamas. The fabric felt soft against his skin, grounding him just a little more as he opened the door and stepped out.

Shinyu stood right outside, as if waiting.

Their eyes met immediately, and Shinyu let out a quiet laugh at the sight in front of him.

“Are you still okay?” Shinyu asked, gaze scanning him from head to toe.

Dohoon blinked up at him, processing the question a second too late. Before he could answer, Shinyu reached for the towel draped around his neck and lifted it, placing it over Dohoon’s head. The motion felt natural, almost instinctive.

Dohoon did not resist as Shinyu guided him toward the bed, a gentle but firm hand leading him until he was seated at the edge. The mattress dipped slightly under his weight, and he steadied himself with his hands on either side.

“Let’s dry your hair for a bit. You might get sick if you sleep with your hair dripping,” Shinyu said, his voice quieter now as he began patting Dohoon’s hair with the towel.

The movement was careful, unhurried.

Dohoon tilted his head slightly, eyes drifting upward to look at Shinyu. From this angle, the older looked different. Softer, maybe. Or maybe that was just how Dohoon saw him now.

“And you’re telling me you’re single?” Dohoon said, disbelief still evident in his tone.

It did not make sense to him. Everything about Shinyu suggested otherwise. The way he carried himself, the way he spoke, the way he took care of someone else without hesitation. It all pointed to someone who would not stay single for long.

Shinyu let out a small breath, the towel still moving through Dohoon’s hair.

“Do you perhaps like someone who doesn’t like you back?” Dohoon continued, the thought forming naturally as he blinked up at him.

Shinyu paused for a brief moment before turning his head slightly, looking at Dohoon with an expression that quickly shifted into a laugh. He shook his head, as if trying to dismiss the idea entirely.

“Nah,” he said, the answer coming easily. “I told you, I just don’t want to date for now.”

Dohoon frowned at that, brows knitting together. Not seemingly convinced.

He shifted slightly, turning more toward Shinyu as another thought crossed his mind, one that made his expression change almost instantly.

“Ah,” he said, as if something finally made sense. “Are you perhaps small down there, hyung? That’s why you’re scared of dating?”

The question came out with a grin, completely unfiltered.

Dohoon looked up at Shinyu again, clearly expecting some kind of reaction, and he got one. Shinyu’s eyebrow lifted slowly, his gaze settling on Dohoon in a way that carried both disbelief and something harder to read.

“Dohoon-ah,” Shinyu said, a quiet chuckle following. “Don’t drink outside, hm?”

His hand came up, tapping Dohoon’s cheek lightly.

Dohoon only smiled in response, completely unfazed. “I’ll only drink with you, hyung. Don’t worry.”

He reached up, taking the towel from Shinyu’s hands, feeling steadier than before. The room did not spin as much now, and his thoughts felt clearer, even if they still carried that loose, unfiltered edge.

“Oh, and… you don’t have to be scared of dating just because you’re not gifted down there,” Dohoon continued, laughter slipping through. “You’ve got long and pretty fingers anyway.”

He tossed the towel toward the laundry bin at the foot of his bed, the fabric landing with a soft thud.

Shinyu let out a scoff at that, and when Dohoon looked back at him, he noticed the way Shinyu’s lips curved into a tight smile. It looked almost polite, but there was something else beneath it. His cheek pressed inward slightly as if he was holding something back, his gaze drifting for a second before returning to Dohoon.

A sigh left Shinyu before his hand came up again to pat Dohoon’s cheek.

“Go to sleep. You’re just drunk,” Shinyu said.

“But you said you’d answer all of my questions after I shower,” Dohoon countered immediately.

He leaned forward slightly, his grin returning. “I’m not drunk at all. I’ll remember everything tomorrow for sure.”

Shinyu sighed again at that, the sound quiet but noticeable.

“You have more questions?” he asked, placing his hands on his hips as he stood in front of Dohoon. Sounding a bit annoyed.

Dohoon nodded without hesitation, a wide smile spreading across his face. He was drunk. He wanted to know how far he could push Shinyu, so he'd do it today while he still had the confidence to do so.

“Okay. Go on. I’ll try answering,” Shinyu said.

Dohoon’s grin only widened. A memory surfaced, something his friends once mentioned as a joke they tried on their roommates, something that made him curious enough to try it himself.

“If you’re single, and I’m single,” Dohoon began, voice steady despite everything, “want to be fuck buddies, hyung? Just like our neighbors. They’re quite noisy, I’m sure you’d be noisier.”

The question came out as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Shinyu’s reaction was immediate. His brows furrowed as he looked down at Dohoon, confusion clear in his expression.

“What?” Dohoon added, tilting his head slightly. “I mean, it must be hard for you, considering you’ve got a small—”

He did not get to finish.

Shinyu let out an exasperated laugh, running a hand through his hair as if trying to process what he just heard.

“You’re really crazy, Kim Dohoon,” he said.

Dohoon knew he could have laughed it off right then, could have admitted it was just something people joked about. But the reaction he got felt lacking, too composed, too controlled. It pushed him to go a little further.

“What? I’m just suggesting,” Dohoon continued, leaning back slightly as he spoke. “Get the full university experience, and…”

He trailed off, a smile forming as his gaze lingered on Shinyu.

“You’d probably look pretty underneath me, hyung.”

The words hung in the air.

For a split second, Dohoon considered taking it back, brushing it off as a joke. But before he could say anything else, Shinyu moved.

A hand came up to the back of Dohoon’s head, firm enough to keep him in place. The movement caught him off guard, his body going still as Shinyu stepped closer.

The distance between them disappeared quickly.

“Since you’re so sure,” Shinyu said, his voice lower now, carrying a different weight than before, “why not check it yourself, hm?”

Dohoon’s breath caught slightly as he felt the shift, the change in atmosphere settling in all at once. His hands stayed where they were, his body held in place as Shinyu’s presence closed in, leaving no room to retreat.

He felt the tip of his nose brush against the hem of Shinyu's sweatpants. The fabric was soft, carrying the faint scent from Shinyu's body. His heart pounded in his chest, a mix of nerves and something hotter twisting in his gut. Shinyu urged him forward with a subtle tilt of his hips, that low voice murmuring, "Go on, check it yourself."

Dohoon sat frozen on the edge of the bed, his shaky gaze lifting to meet Shinyu's eyes. Those dark eyes held a challenge, amusement flickering there as they locked onto his. He remembered Shinyu telling him earlier that he doesn’t really have the patience of a Saint, doesn't tolerate bullshit, and Dohoon laughed at that, saying he doesn’t look like it. Dohoon swallowed hard, dropping his stare back to the gartered waistband of the sweatpants. His fingers trembled as he reached out, placing both hands tentatively on Shinyu's hips.

A mocking laugh rumbled from Shinyu, vibrating through his body and into Dohoon's palms. "If you won't check," Shinyu said, voice dropping to a teasing growl, "let's just make you feel it, hm?" Before Dohoon could process the words, strong hands shoved him backward. He landed flat on the bed, cheeks burning with a deep flush that spread down his neck. The mattress dipped under his weight, sheets cool against his back.

Shinyu loomed over him, descending like a shadow. Their lips crashed together in a kiss that stole Dohoon's breath. Shinyu's mouth was demanding, hot and insistent, tongue pushing past Dohoon's lips without hesitation. Dohoon's mind screamed that he should push Shinyu away, create some distance, tell Shinyu that he wasn’t serious, but his body betrayed him. His arms lifted, wrapping around the back of Shinyu's neck, fingers threading into the soft hair there. He pulled Shinyu closer, deepening the kiss himself. Because even before, he was curious about the rumor that Shinyu was great in bed, or so they said.

Their tongues slid against each other, wet and slick, Shinyu's dominating the rhythm. He sucked on Dohoon's lower lip, teeth grazing just enough to send a spark of pain-pleasure shooting through him. Dohoon whimpered into the kiss, his own tongue tentatively stroking back, tasting the faint bitterness of the alcohol. Saliva mixed between them, dripping slightly at the corners of Dohoon's mouth as Shinyu tilted his head for better access, plunging deeper. Dohoon's lips tingled from the pressure, swollen already from the rough attention. Shinyu licked along the seam of his mouth before diving back in, swirling his tongue in slow, deliberate circles that made Dohoon's head spin.

Dohoon's chest heaved, breath coming in short gasps between kisses. Shinyu's weight pressed him into the mattress, one knee nudging between his thighs to spread them apart. The friction of their bodies grinding together ignited heat low in Dohoon's belly. He moaned softly when Shinyu captured his tongue again, sucking hard enough to make his toes curl. Their mouths moved in a messy rhythm now, lips sliding slickly, chins brushing. Dohoon felt dizzy, lost in the wet heat, his hands clutching tighter at Shinyu's neck as if to anchor himself.

“Remember that it was you who asked for this,” Shinyu breathed against his lips, and Dohoon just looked at him with eyes filled with haze.

Shinyu's hand began to explore, sliding down Dohoon's side with purpose. Fingers slipped under the hem of his pajama top, palm flat against the bare skin of his stomach. The touch was electric; cold hand dragging over sensitive flesh. Dohoon squirmed beneath it, a gasp escaping into Shinyu's mouth. The hand roamed higher, thumb circling his navel before pushing upward, cupping one pectoral and pinching the nipple there. Dohoon arched, breaking the kiss for a ragged breath, but Shinyu chased him, sealing their lips again.

With deft fingers, Shinyu worked at the buttons of Dohoon's pajama top. One by one, they popped open, exposing inch after inch of tan skin to the cool bedroom air. The fabric parted fully, falling to the sides as Shinyu broke the kiss, trailing his mouth downward. Open-mouthed kisses peppered Dohoon's collarbone, teeth nipping at the bone before soothing with a flat lick of tongue. He sucked a mark into the hollow of Dohoon's throat, hard enough to bruise, then moved to his chest.

Dohoon's nipples hardened under the assault. Shinyu latched onto one, lips sealing around the peak, tongue flicking rapidly. He sucked with steady pulls, teeth grazing the edge, while his hand tweaked the other nipple, rolling it between thumb and forefinger. Dohoon bucked, fingers digging into Shinyu's shoulders, breath coming in sharp pants. "Ah..." he gasped, body twisting as pleasure bordered on overwhelm. Shinyu switched sides, lavishing the same attention, leaving the first nipple wet and glistening, aching from the suction.

Kisses trailed lower, over the ridges of Dohoon's abdomen, tongue dipping into his belly button briefly before continuing. Shinyu hooked his fingers into the waistband of Dohoon's pajama pants, yanking them down along with his underwear in one swift motion. Cool air hit Dohoon's exposed cock, already hard and leaking pre-cum from the tip. He throbbed visibly, veins pulsing along the length.

Shinyu smirked up at him, eyes dark with hunger, before leaning down. His breath ghosted over the sensitive head first, making Dohoon twitch. Then lips parted, tongue extending to lap at the slit, collecting the salty bead of pre-cum. Dohoon's hips jerked involuntarily. Shinyu hummed with approval, the vibration shooting straight to Dohoon's core. He took the head into his mouth, sucking gently at first, cheeks hollowing as he swirled his tongue around the ridge.

Dohoon's hands fisted the sheets, knuckles white. "Nngh... Shinyu hyung..." The name slipped out in a whine. Shinyu bobbed lower, taking more of the shaft, lips stretching around the girth. His tongue pressed flat along the underside, tracing the vein as he swallowed down inch by inch. Saliva coated the length, dripping down to Dohoon's balls. Shinyu fondled them with one hand, rolling them gently while his mouth worked, sucking with increasing pressure.

He hollowed his cheeks fully now, head moving in a steady rhythm, nose brushing Dohoon's pubic hair with each descent. The wet slurps filled the room, obscene and loud. Dohoon's thighs trembled, toes curling as pressure built in his groin. Shinyu deepthroated him suddenly, throat constricting around the head, swallowing to massage it. Dohoon cried out, back arching off the bed. Shinyu pulled back with a pop, strings of spit connecting his lips to the glistening cock, then dove back in, faster now, hand stroking the base in twists.

Dohoon teetered on the edge, but Shinyu stopped abruptly, releasing him with a smirk. "Let's see if my small dick would fit you, hm?" he said, voice husky. He stood, shoving his sweatpants down. Dohoon's eyes widened at the sight. Shinyu's cock sprang free, thick and long, far from small. The shaft curved slightly upward, head flushed deep red, pre-cum slicking the tip. Veins bulged along the length, promising stretch. It bobbed heavily, girthy enough to make Dohoon's hole clench instinctively.

Shinyu chuckled at Dohoon's stunned expression, kicking the pants aside. He walked towards his nightstand drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube. The cap clicked open, cool gel squirting onto his fingers. Dohoon watched, pulse racing, as Shinyu coated two digits generously.

"Spread your legs," Shinyu ordered, climbing back onto the bed. Dohoon obeyed shakily, knees falling wide, exposing his untouched entrance. He didn’t know if they should continue. Part of him was scared, but a bigger part of him wanted to continue, to see how it would go… for experience.

A slick finger circled the rim, teasing the puckered muscle. Dohoon tensed, breath hitching. Shinyu pressed forward slowly, the tip breaching the tight ring. Dohoon gasped, feeling the intrusion, the burn of stretch. The finger sank deeper until it was fully sheathed. Shinyu twisted it, moving gently to loosen the walls.

"Relax," he murmured, free hand stroking Dohoon's thigh.

Dohoon panted, adjusting to the fullness. It felt strange, invasive, but sparks of pleasure ignited when Shinyu crooked his finger, brushing that spot inside. His cock twitched, leaking anew. A second finger joined the first, pushing in with more resistance. Dohoon whimpered, hips rocking slightly as Shinyu pumped them in and out, stretching him wider. The lube squelched wetly, easing the glide. Fingers curled together, rubbing that prostate relentlessly, making Dohoon's vision blur with jolts of ecstasy.

"Fuck, you're tight," Shinyu groaned, adding a third finger. The burn intensified, Dohoon tearing up at the corners of his eyes, but pleasure eventually overrode it. He moaned loudly, body undulating as Shinyu finger-fucked him open, thumb occasionally circling his perineum. Minutes stretched, the prep thorough, until Dohoon's hole fluttered greedily around the digits.

Shinyu withdrew, slicking his cock with lube, the shaft gleaming. He positioned himself between Dohoon's legs, head nudging the prepared entrance.

"Breathe," he said, pushing in slowly. The broad head popped past the rim, and Dohoon keened, walls clamping down. Inch by inch, Shinyu sank forward, pausing to let him adjust. The stretch burned deep, filling him impossibly full, every vein dragging against sensitive nerves.

Dohoon's nails dug into Shinyu's arms, tears spilling over as he took the full length. Shinyu stilled, letting Dohoon pant through it, then began to thrust. Slow at first, pulling out halfway and sliding back in with controlled rolls of his hips. Each drag lit up Dohoon's insides, pleasure coiling tight.

"Ah... ahh..." Dohoon moaned, legs wrapping around Shinyu's waist. The pace stayed languid, deep strokes that made his toes curl, cock trapped between them leaking steadily. Shinyu leaned down, capturing his lips in a messy kiss, hips snapping forward gently. Dohoon felt every ridge, the way Shinyu's cock reshaped him from within.

Then Shinyu shifted, gripping Dohoon's hips bruisingly. The slow rhythm shattered. He rammed in hard, pulling out almost fully before slamming back, balls slapping against Dohoon's ass. The bed creaked under the force, headboard thumping the wall. Dohoon screamed, pleasure-pain exploding as the brutal pace hit that spot dead-on with every thrust.

"Fuck..." Shinyu grunted, pounding relentlessly. Dohoon whimpered, tears streaming, body jolting with each impact. His hole stretched around the pistoning cock, lube and pre-cum frothing at the base. Shinyu angled deeper, ramming the prostate mercilessly, making Dohoon's vision go white. Moans turned to sobs, overwhelmed, cock pulsing untouched.

Shinyu folded him nearly in half, knees to chest, drilling down with savage force. The angle let him go impossibly deep, head battering Dohoon's core.

"Take it," Shinyu growled, sweat dripping onto Dohoon's chest. Dohoon could only wail, ass clenching rhythmically, milking the invading shaft. Pressure built unbearably, his own orgasm crashing without warning. Cum spurted between them in thick ropes, splattering their abs and chest.

Shinyu didn't stop, fucking through the spasms, chasing his own release. Thrusts grew erratic, harder, until he buried deep with a roar, cock pulsing as hot cum flooded Dohoon's ass. Spurt after spurt filled him, leaking out around the base as Shinyu ground in, prolonging it.

They collapsed together, Shinyu softening inside before pulling out with a wet squelch. Cum dribbled from Dohoon's gaping hole, sore and satisfied. He lay boneless, chest heaving, aftershocks trembling through him. Shinyu kissed his temple, a surprisingly tender gesture amid the wreckage.

The exhaustion settled over Dohoon slowly, seeping into his limbs as he lay tangled in the sheets. The air in the room felt heavy, clinging to his skin along with the faint sheen of sweat that refused to fade just yet. His body pulsed with a strange mix of sensations, something unfamiliar that lingered in the spaces between discomfort and a quiet kind of satisfaction. It left him still, eyes unfocused as he stared somewhere past the ceiling, trying to gather his thoughts.

Everything felt distant, as if his mind floated a few steps behind his body.

Beside him, Shinyu shifted slightly before an arm draped over Dohoon’s side. The contact felt warm, grounding in a way that pulled Dohoon back just a little. The hold carried a certain weight, something that felt almost possessive without being forceful. Dohoon noticed the steadiness of Shinyu’s breathing as it gradually evened out, the rise and fall of his chest brushing lightly against him.

After a few minutes had passed in that quiet aftermath, Shinyu stirred slightly and broke the silence. "Hey. This thing. We're keeping it casual, right?" His voice came out low and rough, still carrying the edge from their earlier heat.

Dohoon blinked slowly, processing the question through the fog in his head. What began as a prank, a teasing remark thrown out without much thought, shifted into this reality before him. He closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed against the dryness in his throat, feeling the sheets cling to his damp skin.

"Yeah," Dohoon answered under his breath, the word barely above a whisper. The idea of a no-strings-attached arrangement with Shinyu appealed to him in ways he could not ignore. Someone like him, with zero interest in dating or complications, found real benefit in something straightforward and physical. No expectations, just release whenever the mood struck.

That simple exchange marked the start of Shinyu and Dohoon's arrangement, born from Dohoon's stupid question, his impulsive urge to pull at the lion's tail, and Shinyu's complete lack of patience. Looking back, the origin felt quite underwhelming in its simplicity, yet Dohoon gained exactly what he craved: he got to experience a lot of new things, like getting drunk, he got laid that night, and the promise of more in the future. Although he never pictured himself in the role of the one who bottoms, something about Shinyu putting him in place stirred a satisfaction he discovered only through experience.

Dohoon struggled to recall any spot in their tiny dorm that they had left untouched by their encounters. Memories flooded back vividly, each one sharp with sensation. The kitchen counter witnessed hurried sessions where Shinyu pinned him against the edge, thrusting deep while Dohoon gripped the laminate to steady himself. The bean bag at the side that became a frequent stage for lazy afternoons, turning heated, Shinyu's hands roaming freely as Dohoon rode him with building urgency. Even the shower saw action, steam-filled nights where water cascaded over their joined bodies, Shinyu's fingers digging into his hips for leverage.

One memory stood out clearest: the balcony. Dohoon bent forward over the railing one crisp evening, the cool metal biting into his palms as he braced himself. Wind whispered across his exposed skin while Shinyu positioned behind him, hands spreading his cheeks before sliding in with a firm push. Each thrust rocked Dohoon forward, the railing creaking under the force, pleasure spiking with every slap of skin against skin. Shinyu railed him relentlessly, pace unyielding until Dohoon trembled through release, legs nearly giving out. Afterward, Shinyu proved nothing short of a gentleman. He guided Dohoon inside with a steady arm around his waist, led him straight to the shower, and washed away the evidence with careful touches. Sometimes those showers ignited another steamy round, water pounding as Shinyu pressed him against the tiles and took him again, but even then, Shinyu ensured Dohoon stood on solid ground afterward, towel-drying his hair with unexpected gentleness.

Christmas that same year brought an unexpected twist. Dohoon planned to head home for the holidays, mentioning it to Shinyu in passing, but boredom struck fast at his family's place. He returned to the dorm early, cake box in hand, imagining Shinyu alone and perhaps lonely during the break. Instead, he pushed the door open to find Shinyu entangled with someone else on the bed, bodies moving in a rhythm that left no room for interruption.

Shinyu noticed him immediately. His eyes went wide for a split second, surprise flashing across his face amid the tangle of limbs. Dohoon waved him off with a casual gesture, signaling to continue without pause, then backed out quietly, cake box still clutched in his grip. He left the dorm behind, wandering until he found a quiet spot to sit.

A prick stung in his chest during that moment, sharp and fleeting, but Dohoon dismissed it quickly. Perhaps disappointment crept in because he would eat the cake alone now, nothing more.

How could jealousy even factor in when they agreed to keep things casual from the start?

They both voiced permission to explore outside the arrangement, to seek others without strings or questions. Shinyu exercised that freedom, and Dohoon accepted it as part of the deal.

As the school year drew to a close, conversations about their dorm lease filled quieter evenings. 

Dohoon and Shinyu weighed options, both agreeing that separate apartments made sense for the next year. Shinyu's senior year demanded focus, heavy coursework, and projects, leaving little room for distractions. Dohoon craved his own space too, tired of returning to a messy dorm scattered with forgotten clothes and takeout containers. He scolded Shinyu plenty during their shared time, nagging about cleanup enough to fill volumes of arguments, and he refused to repeat that cycle.

So they made the decision separately, yet with the same conclusion.

They would move out.

Each of them looked for their own space, something that offered more comfort, more control over their environment. Dohoon found an apartment that suited his needs, something he could call his own without having to adjust to someone else’s habits.

It felt like the right step forward… even if it meant leaving that shared space behind.

Even after they moved out of the dorm and into their own separate apartments, whatever existed between Dohoon and Shinyu did not end. If anything, the distance only clarified what it truly was. It no longer resembled anything close to friendship, with occasional benefits. It leaned more into something simpler, more stripped down. They met when they wanted, spent nights together, and then returned to their own lives as if nothing lingered afterward.

Outside of those moments, they barely acknowledged each other.

It had always been like that, even back in the dorm. Inside their shared space, there was familiarity. There was ease, a quiet understanding that did not need to be spoken. But the moment they stepped outside, that connection disappeared. They walked past each other like strangers if needed, spoke only when necessary, and blended back into their separate circles.

Strangers who shared something physical from time to time.

Dohoon found it amusing when he thought about it, though he never said it out loud.

It was after one of those nights, when the air still felt heavy with the remnants of everything that had happened, that a question resurfaced in Dohoon’s mind. It was not new. He had thought about it before, more than once. But every time it came up, he pushed it aside. Asking felt risky in a way he could not fully explain. It might come off wrong, might sound like something it was not.

He did not want it to sound like jealousy.

Because he was not jealous. At least, that was what he told himself.

Curious. That was the word he settled on.

After a quick shower, Dohoon stepped out into the living area of his apartment, the cool air brushing against his damp skin. The quiet felt different compared to the dorm, more spacious, less confined. He glanced toward the balcony and noticed the faint glow there.

Shinyu.

Dohoon walked toward it, sliding the door open before stepping outside. The night air greeted him immediately, carrying a faint chill that contrasted with the warmth still lingering in his body. Shinyu stood near the railing, leaning slightly forward, a cigarette resting between his fingers.

The soft glow of it flickered as he brought it to his lips.

Dohoon stopped a few inches away, leaning his back against the railing as well, positioning himself close but not too close. His gaze drifted briefly toward the inside of his apartment before settling somewhere in the distance.

“Hey, hyung. I’m just curious,” Dohoon started, his tone casual, as if the question did not carry much weight.

Shinyu did not look at him right away. He exhaled slowly, smoke dissolving into the night before responding.

“What is it?”

Dohoon turned his head slightly, eyes landing on Shinyu. He tilted his head, studying him for a second before speaking again.

“That guy last year,” he began, voice steady. “Did you hook up with him again?”

The question sat between them, simple in structure but heavier than Dohoon intended.

For a brief moment, he felt something shift inside him. His chest tightened slightly, his heartbeat picking up just enough for him to notice. Still, he kept his expression neutral, not letting any of that show.

Shinyu’s brows drew together as he turned to look at him, confusion flickering across his face.

Dohoon let out a small chuckle, as if trying to lighten the moment.

“I’m just asking because I want to know if you have another fuck buddy,” he added, a faint smile forming. “I don’t really mind.”

Shinyu held his gaze for a few seconds, searching, as if trying to figure out what sat beneath the question. Then he shook his head.

“No,” he said simply. “It was a one-time thing. He asked me to forget about it after. We were both drunk and… yeah.”

He shrugged, bringing the cigarette back to his lips for another drag.

For reasons Dohoon could not fully explain, something in him loosened at that answer. The tightness in his chest eased, replaced by a strange sense of relief that caught him off guard.

It did not make sense.

Why would that matter to him?

He barely had time to process it before something else followed. A shift in Shinyu’s expression, subtle but noticeable. There was something there that had not been present before. Something quieter, almost like disappointment.

And just like that, the earlier feeling returned.

A small, sharp sensation settled in Dohoon’s chest, familiar in a way that reminded him of that day during Christmas. It was not overwhelming, but it lingered long enough to make him uncomfortable.

Dohoon looked away quickly, his gaze returning to the inside of his apartment as if that could distract him from it. His heartbeat picked up again, uneven, while that dull ache refused to fade completely.

He did not understand it, but he really wanted it to stop.

His eyes drifted back to Shinyu, landing on the cigarette in his hand. The faint glow caught his attention, and for a moment, an idea formed.

“Hey, hyung,” Dohoon called again.

Shinyu hummed in response, glancing at him this time.

“I want to try smoking.”

Shinyu immediately turned to look at him, confusion evident in his expression. “What do you mean?”

Dohoon met his gaze, his tone steady despite the lingering tension in his chest.

“You said you smoke when you’re stressed,” he said. “I want to know if it helps.”

Shinyu frowned slightly, shaking his head. “It doesn’t relieve stress at all, Dohoon-ah.”

“Then why do you still do it if it’s useless?” Dohoon countered, a small smile forming. “Come on. Let me try at least once. For experience.”

He watched as Shinyu adjusted his stance, now fully facing him. The hand holding the cigarette shifted slightly, instinctively moving it a little farther away from Dohoon.

“Just once, hyung. Please?” Dohoon added, his voice softer this time.

Shinyu closed his eyes briefly, rubbing his temple before looking at him again. There was hesitation there, clear but fleeting.

Then he reached out.

His hand came to rest at the back of Dohoon’s neck, fingers curling slightly as he pulled him closer. The sudden contact made Dohoon’s breath hitch, though he tried not to show it.

“Just once,” Shinyu said, his voice lower than before.

He paused, his gaze holding steady on Dohoon’s face, as if making sure he was paying attention.

“Make sure to release the smoke once you inhale it.”

Dohoon nodded without hesitation, though his focus had shifted. His heartbeat picked up, the rhythm uneven, and he could not quite tell if it was anticipation or something else entirely. The cigarette in Shinyu’s hand no longer seemed like the main point of what was happening.

Shinyu lifted it to his lips, the faint glow intensifying as he took a slow drag. Dohoon watched closely, his eyes following every small detail, from the way Shinyu’s fingers held the cigarette to the slight tilt of his head as he inhaled.

Then Shinyu leaned in.

The space between them disappeared almost instantly, leaving no room for distraction. Dohoon became aware of everything all at once. The warmth of Shinyu’s breath, the faint scent of smoke mixed with something distinctly his, the closeness that felt more intense than it should have been for something so simple.

Their faces hovered just inches apart.

For a fleeting moment, their lips brushed.

It was light, almost accidental, but it lingered just enough to register. Dohoon stilled at the contact, his breath catching again, though he did not pull away.

Shinyu exhaled, the smoke leaving his lips and directed inside Dohoon’s mouth.

“Now release it,” Shinyu said, his voice quieter, more focused.

Dohoon tried to follow the instructions, but the sensation hit him almost immediately. The smoke felt harsher than he anticipated, unfamiliar and overwhelming as it settled in his throat. He barely managed to process it before it triggered a reaction.

He coughed.

The sound broke the stillness around them, sharp and sudden as he pulled back slightly, his body reacting on instinct. The attempt to control it failed as another cough followed, his chest tightening uncomfortably.

Shinyu reacted without delay.

His hand moved from Dohoon’s neck to his back, rubbing gently in slow, steady motions. The touch was grounding, meant to ease the tension as Dohoon tried to recover from the sudden fit.

“You okay?” Shinyu asked, a hint of concern slipping into his tone.

Dohoon took a moment before he could respond. The coughing subsided gradually, leaving behind a faint burn in his throat and a lingering discomfort that made him wince slightly. He straightened up after a second, drawing in a careful breath before letting it out.

Then he laughed.

“That was… really stupid,” he admitted, shaking his head. “Never again.”

Shinyu smiled at that, a quiet grin forming as he put the cigarette out, making sure it no longer burned.

“I told you it wouldn’t help,” he said.

Dohoon hummed in response, the earlier tension fading into something lighter.

Then, without thinking too much about it, he stepped closer. His arms lifted, wrapping loosely around Shinyu’s neck as he leaned in.

“Yeah,” Dohoon murmured, his lips brushing lightly against Shinyu’s. “I think this works better as a stress reliever.”

Shinyu’s hands moved to his waist almost instantly, holding him in place. Firm fingers dug into the fabric of Dohoon's shirt, pulling their bodies flush together, heat radiating through layers of clothing.

“Yeah,” Shinyu replied quietly. “Stick to this.”

Dohoon let out a soft chuckle before closing the small distance between them once again. Their mouths met softly at first, lips pressing tentatively, testing the spark that always ignited between them. Dohoon sighed into the kiss, tension easing as Shinyu's tongue traced the seam of his lips, coaxing them apart. Warmth flooded his mouth, Shinyu's tongue sliding in smoothly, exploring every corner with slow sweeps. Dohoon responded in kind, his own tongue meeting Shinyu's.

Hands roamed free once again. Dohoon's fingers threaded into Shinyu's hair at the nape, tugging gently to angle his head better, deepening the connection. Shinyu groaned low, the vibration humming against Dohoon's lips, sending shivers down his spine. Shinyu's grip tightened on Dohoon's waist, thumbs pressing into hip bones, holding him steady as the kiss grew hungrier. Dohoon's cock stirred in his pants, pressing insistently against Shinyu's thigh, friction building with each subtle shift.

The kiss stretched endlessly, mouths devouring without rush. Dohoon's hands slid down Shinyu's back, bunching shirt fabric, nails scraping light over spine. Shinyu retaliated by cupping Dohoon's ass through his pants, squeezing firm, kneading the muscle until Dohoon arched into the touch.

Cool balcony air contrasted the heat building between them, wind whispering over exposed skin where shirts rode up. Dohoon's nipples hardened under the fabric, brushing Shinyu's chest with each pant. Lips swelled from friction, red and slick, chins glistening with shared spit. Shinyu tilted Dohoon's head back with a hand in his hair, exposing his throat for lips to trail down, sucking marks into his skin before returning to his mouth. Dohoon moaned loudly, the sound swallowed as tongues plunged deep again, fucking mouths in rhythm.

Shinyu tapped Dohoon's leg, his fingers drumming insistently on the thigh muscle. Dohoon caught the signal quickly, lifting one leg to hook around Shinyu's waist, then the other, locking ankles at his lower back. Strong arms scooped under Dohoon's thighs, lifting him effortlessly from the ground. Lips stayed locked, kiss unbroken as Shinyu turned toward the sliding door, carrying Dohoon inside with steady strides. Dohoon clung tight, arms looped around Shinyu's neck, tongue still tangling while feet dangled. Each step jostled them, cocks grinding through pants, friction sparking jolts of pleasure. Saliva dripped down chins, breaths ragged but mouths refused to part, wet smacks echoing in the quiet apartment.

Shinyu slid the door shut behind them, balcony chill replaced by warm indoor air. He navigated the short hallway blind, focused on the kiss, tongue thrusting deep as if claiming territory. Walls bumped their shoulders once, twice, laughter bubbling in throats but muffled by lips. Shinyu's hands kneaded Dohoon's ass cheeks, spreading them slightly through the fabric, thumbs pressing near the crack. Dohoon ground down, seeking more pressure on his hardening cock, pre-cum dampening his underwear.

They reached the bedroom door, Shinyu shouldering it open without breaking contact. The bed loomed in dim lamplight, sheets rumpled from earlier. Shinyu lowered Dohoon onto the edge slowly, but lips clung stubbornly, kiss stretching as bodies settled. Only then did mouths part, strings of saliva connecting briefly before snapping. Both panted heavily, foreheads pressed together, eyes dark with lust.

Shinyu sat back on the bed, pulling Dohoon to straddle his lap. Hands worked fast, shoving pants and underwear down in tandem. Dohoon lifted his hips to kick him off, cock springing free, hard and leaking against Shinyu's stomach. Shinyu's pants pooled at his ankles, thick cock bobbing up, veins pulsing, head slick with pre-cum.

Dohoon positioned himself, gripping Shinyu's shoulders for balance, his whole body clenching in anticipation. Recent sessions left him loose enough, slick from earlier play lingering, but Shinyu grabbed lube from the nightstand anyway, squirting generously into his palm. Fingers circled Dohoon's rim, pressing one in knuckle-deep, twisting to coat walls. Dohoon rocked down, moaning as the second finger joined, scissoring wide, curling to brush the prostate.

“Ready,” Dohoon breathed, voice wrecked.

Shinyu withdrew his fingers from Dohoon’s body, and the absence left a hollow ache that quickly filled with anticipation as he guided the head of his cock to the nudging entrance. Dohoon sank down slowly, and the sensation stretched from a tight rim around that blunt crown into a deep, yielding burn that gave way to a heavy fullness as inch after inch slid inside him. His walls gripped tight, heat enveloping Shinyu’s cock completely, until his hips met Dohoon’s flesh. Both groaned low and long, a shuddering pause to savor the joining, the way they fit together so perfectly.

Then the motion began. Dohoon rose tentatively, feeling the drag of that thick shaft against his inner walls, before dropping back down. The cock speared deep, striking that spot that made his breath catch. Their lips crashed together again, a messy and desperate kiss as the riding started. Tongues fucked in time with hips, sliding and thrusting between moans. Shinyu’s hands settled on Dohoon’s waist, guiding each lift and drop with firm pressure while Dohoon bounced steadily, his ass slapping against Shinyu’s thighs with a wet, rhythmic sound. Each descent hammered against his prostate, sending jolts of pleasure coiling low in his belly. His own cock slid between their stomachs, smearing sticky pre-cum on the damp fabric of their shirts. Shinyu bucked up sharply, meeting his thrusts from below, and their mouths devoured each other, teeth clashing, saliva flooding as moans vibrated between their lips.

Dohoon’s pace quickened. At the bottom of each drop, he ground his hips in small circles to drag that hard cock over the most sensitive spots inside him. A whimper escaped his throat, muffled by Shinyu’s tongue sweeping deep, sucking hard enough to hollow his cheeks. Fingers dug into Dohoon’s hips, bruising, urging a faster rhythm. Sweat beaded on their skin, shirts clinging damp to their bodies, nipples peaked hard under the cotton. Dohoon broke the kiss, gasping, his head thrown back as a moan tumbled free. But Shinyu chased after his mouth, failing, then latching onto his neck instead. He sucked at the pulse point, tongue pressing against the throb, while his hips snapped up brutally, driving deeper.

Back to mouths, the kiss turned sloppy now, more teeth than finesse. Thrusts grew erratic, Dohoon’s ass clenching rhythmically around Shinyu’s cock, each squeeze pulling a ragged groan from Shinyu’s throat. Dohoon whimpered against his lips, the sound swallowed by the frantic dance of their tongues.

Tension wound tighter, release hovering close. Dohoon rode harder, his walls fluttering around the thick length. His own cock throbbed untouched, desperate for friction. Shinyu’s free hand wrapped around the base of Dohoon’s dick, stroking firm in time with his bounces.

A high, keening moan escaped Dohoon as pleasure crested sharply. His orgasm ripped through him, cum spurting hot between their bodies, painting their shirts and skin in sticky streaks. His walls spasmed, milking Shinyu’s cock, drawing his own release. Hot pulses flooded deep inside him, seed coating his insides, excess leaking around the shaft and down his thighs.

They slowed gradually, hips rolling in lazy, spent circles. The kiss softened to pecks and licks, tongues tracing swollen lips, cleaning the trails of saliva. Dohoon slumped forward, his forehead pressing into Shinyu’s shoulder, his cock softening inside him. Shinyu’s arms wrapped around, holding close, their breaths syncing in the quiet afterglow.

🚬🚬🚬

Classes ended earlier that day. Their professor had been called into a meeting, cutting the lecture short and dismissing everyone before they could even settle into the usual routine. The sudden shift in schedule left the campus buzzing, students spilling out of classrooms with lighter steps and louder voices.

Dohoon walked alongside Jihoon, his bag slung over one shoulder, listening as the younger continued talking without pause. Jihoon’s energy filled the space between them, his words tumbling over each other as he went on about his latest interaction with his crush.

It was nothing new.

Jihoon had been like this for a while now, ever since he started getting closer to Youngjae. Dohoon met Jihoon back when he was still a sophomore, and Jihoon had just entered as a freshman. Somewhere between shared electives, late-night hangouts, and random conversations, Jihoon became someone Dohoon grew comfortable around. So hearing him talk endlessly about his feelings was something Dohoon had gotten used to.

Still, today felt slightly different.

“He said yes again,” Jihoon was saying, his voice bright with excitement. “I asked him out, and he said yes again. I swear, this time I think it really means something.”

Dohoon hummed in response, nodding occasionally as he listened. He kept his reactions just enough to show he was paying attention, though his thoughts drifted elsewhere at times.

It was hard not to.

The moment Jihoon introduced Youngjae to him before, Dohoon recognized him immediately. The memory came back too clearly, sharper than he would have liked. Youngjae was not just someone new. He was the same person Dohoon saw that night during Christmas, tangled in sheets with Shinyu in their dorm room.

That image stayed with him.

And of course, he never told Jihoon.

There was no reason to. Shinyu already explained what happened that night. It was a one-time thing, something fueled by alcohol and fleeting desire. Youngjae himself wanted it forgotten, something that should not be brought up again.

So Dohoon kept quiet.

Even when he heard rumors circulating around campus, whispers about Shinyu and Youngjae sleeping together, he chose not to engage. People talked. They always did. Some must have seen them entering the dorm together back then, enough to create stories that spread quietly through different circles.

Still, Dohoon said nothing.

He watched instead.

From what he could see, Jihoon genuinely liked Youngjae. The way he talked about him, the way he lit up at the smallest things, it was hard to miss. They went out often, or at least that was how Jihoon described it. Dates, he called them, with a certainty that Dohoon did not question.

Maybe it really was.

“Man, I think I’m in love,” Jihoon said, his voice softening slightly despite the excitement still present. “I know it sounds early, and I’ve been crushing on him since last year, but now that I actually got to know him… I think I really am.”

Dohoon glanced at him briefly, taking in the sincerity on Jihoon’s face before looking ahead again. He let out a quiet hum, offering a small smile in response.

They continued walking toward the university gates, their steps unhurried. The plan was simple anyway. They would head to the arcade and spend the rest of the day there, trying to distract themselves from the stress that came with the exam schedule they just received.

Dohoon listened, responded when needed, but his attention wavered.

Then Jihoon suddenly stopped.

“Oh!” Jihoon’s voice rose, excitement returning instantly. “It’s Youngjae hyung and Shinyu hyung!”

Dohoon’s steps halted almost immediately.

He followed Jihoon’s gaze, turning his head toward the direction he pointed at. From a distance, he saw them. Shinyu and Youngjae walked side by side, close enough to suggest familiarity. They looked comfortable, as if they belonged in each other’s space.

Dohoon’s eyes lingered longer.

It was not just their presence that caught his attention; it was the way Shinyu looked at Youngjae. There was something in his expression, something softer, lighter, almost effortless. He smiled in a way Dohoon did not recognize, laughed without holding back, his entire demeanor relaxed in a way that felt unfamiliar.

Dohoon realized then.

That was not something he ever received, and the thought hit him hard.

His chest tightened suddenly, the air around him feeling heavier as he tried to take a steady breath. For a moment, it felt like something pressed down on him, making it harder to breathe normally.

The realization settled in quietly, but it carried actual weight.

That night, when he asked Shinyu about that one-time thing, there was a hint of disappointment in his voice. At the time, Dohoon brushed it off. He did not think much of it beyond the surface.

Now it made sense.

Dohoon lifted a hand to his chest, pressing lightly as if that could ease the discomfort building there.

Shinyu liked Youngjae.

The thought came clearly this time, leaving no room for doubt.

Before he could process it further, he felt a tug on his sleeve. Jihoon grabbed onto his shirt, already pulling him forward with excitement, eager to approach the two.

Dohoon reacted quickly.

He shook his head, resisting the pull just enough to stop them from moving forward.

“We’re going to the arcade, right?” Dohoon said, forcing a light tone as he let out a small laugh. “I don’t think they’d want to game with us. Shinyu hyung’s not really into that. He used to be my roommate, remember?” False. Dohoon knew Shinyu liked gaming; if anything, he’s always gaming whenever he’s free.

Jihoon hesitated, looking at him.

Dohoon continued, his smile still in place despite the tightness in his chest.

“Unless you’re planning to ditch me,” he added, tilting his head slightly. “Then go ahead.”

That was enough.

Jihoon immediately dropped the idea, his grip shifting as he hooked his arm around Dohoon’s instead.

“Why would I leave my best friend over a man?” Jihoon said, scrunching his nose in mock disgust. “That’s ridiculous. I love you more than Youngjae hyung.”

Dohoon made a face at that, letting out a short laugh before reaching over to ruffle Jihoon’s hair.

The moment passed.

Well, at least on the surface.

The days that followed felt different.

Dohoon found himself thinking more than usual, his thoughts circling back to the same thing no matter how much he tried to distract himself. It lingered in quiet moments, in between classes, even during conversations.

He tried to trace it back, to figure out when it started.

But he couldn’t..

There was no clear beginning, no single moment he could point to and say that was when it changed. It just… happened.

The realization came slowly, piece by piece, until it became impossible for Dohoon to ignore.

He liked Shinyu.

The conclusion sat heavily in his chest.

It explained things he did not understand before. The way he reacted that day, the way his chest tightened at the sight of Shinyu with someone else, the discomfort that refused to fade.

If it were not something deeper, he wouldn’t feel like that.

And that made everything worse.

Their arrangement was never meant to be anything more than physical. No strings attached. That was the agreement from the start. It was supposed to stay simple, uncomplicated.

Now it was definitely not.

Dohoon frowned as he lay on his bed one night, staring up at the ceiling of his apartment. His mind refused to settle, thoughts overlapping in ways that only made things more confusing.

This was new for him.

He had never experienced something like this before. He didn’t even know what exactly he liked about Shinyu beyond the obvious. Shinyu was good-looking; that much was undeniable. He carried himself well, spoke calmly, and treated others with a kind of quiet care that was easy to notice.

He was also a gentleman in ways that showed through small actions.

Dohoon also remembered those times back in the dorm, when Shinyu would cook for them. Simple meals, nothing extravagant, but enough to leave an impression. He was smart too, always focused when it came to his studies, balancing everything without making it look difficult.

Dohoon exhaled slowly.

It felt unfair.

Shinyu had too many good qualities. It made him easy to like, almost effortlessly so.

Though if he thought about it, Shinyu was not perfect.

He was not the cleanest person. That was something Dohoon remembered clearly. There were times when their shared space turned into a mess, leading to small arguments that never escalated but still lingered. It was one of the reasons they decided not to continue living together.

And Shinyu had a temper.

He did not tolerate things he found unnecessary. It showed in the way he reacted when pushed too far. Dohoon used to find it amusing, even enjoyed provoking him just to see that side.

Still, none of that changed the conclusion.

Dohoon let out another breath, his gaze still fixed on the ceiling.

He’s royally fucked.

He liked Shinyu.

Shinyu liked Youngjae.

And Youngjae was involved with Jihoon, who Dohoon considered his closest friend.

The situation sat there, tangled and complicated, leaving Dohoon with no clear way out.

Dohoon spent more time thinking than he ever admitted out loud. It lingered in quiet moments, in between conversations, even in the middle of things that were supposed to distract him. He did not really know how to deal with what he felt, not in a way that made sense to him. There were not many options he could think of. Avoiding it did not work. Ignoring it only made it louder in his head.

So the only thing left, at least in his mind, was to say it.

Confess.

The thought circled back to him more often than he liked, even during the nights he spent with Shinyu. Those moments were supposed to stay simple, familiar in a way that required no deeper thought. Yet even then, when everything else faded into the background, his mind still found its way back to that same question.

What if he just said it?

What would happen then?

That night felt no different. Shinyu buried deep inside him, hips snapping forward with steady thrusts that jolted Dohoon's body against the mattress. Arms looped tight around Shinyu's neck, Dohoon pulled him closer, savoring every plunge. Sweat slicked their skin, shirts clinging damp to torsos, pants long discarded in a heap on the floor. Pleasure built in waves, coiling low in Dohoon's gut as prostate took the brunt of those forceful drives, sparks shooting up his spine.

But his mind refused to stay quiet.

It drifted again, back to everything he had been trying to sort out for weeks. The thoughts pressed in, overlapping with the moment until he could not separate one from the other anymore. His chest felt tight, his breathing uneven for reasons that went beyond what was happening between them.

Shinyu shifted above him, muscles flexing under Dohoon's grip, chest heaving with grunts that mingled with Dohoon's moans. Something snapped inside Dohoon then. Overwhelm crashed over him, thoughts swirling too loud, curiosity burning about Shinyu's reaction. As Shinyu eased back from the embrace, likely to capture his lips again, words tumbled out unbidden.

“I—I like you, hyung,” Dohoon gasped between ragged pants and whimpers, voice cracking on the admission.

Shinyu froze mid-thrust, hips stilled. Dohoon's eyes flew wide, shock flooding his veins as reality hit. Regret twisted sharply in his chest. Shinyu's eyebrows drew together, expression tightening in confusion or something darker, unreadable in the dim lamplight.

Panic surged through Dohoon. He opened his mouth to backtrack, to laugh it off as heat-of-the-moment nonsense, anything to erase the vulnerability hanging between them. Before words formed, Shinyu dropped his forehead against Dohoon's chest, warm breath fanning over sweat-damp skin. Then motion resumed, thrusts picking up where they left off, harder now, hips pistoning with renewed force. Dohoon's protest died in his throat, morphing into a strangled moan as cock speared deep again, walls clenching around the invasion. Confusion muddled with pleasure, each slam scattering thoughts, building tension despite the ache in his heart.

Shinyu's pace turned relentless, bed creaking under the assault. Hands gripped Dohoon's thighs, spreading them wider, angling deeper to hammer that spot inside until stars burst behind eyelids. Moans escalated, body arching, fingers digging into Shinyu's shoulders. Climax hit Dohoon first, ripping through with white-hot intensity, cum spilling hot between them, painting stomachs and shirts. Walls spasmed wildly around Shinyu's cock, milking every pulse as he followed seconds later, groaning low, seed flooding deep in thick ropes, overflowing to leak down the crack.

They rode the waves together, hips grinding slowly through aftershocks, breaths panting in unison. Shinyu pulled out gently, cum dribbling free, leaving Dohoon empty and trembling. No words passed, just shared glances heavy with unspoken weight. Shinyu rose first, extending a hand to pull Dohoon up, leading him toward the bathroom without comment.

Steam filled the small space as water cascaded from the showerhead, hot streams pounding the tiled floor. They stepped under the spray together, bodies brushing close in the confined area. Shinyu grabbed soap, lathering hands before running them over Dohoon's skin, fingers tracing limbs, washing away sweat and seed with firm strokes. Dohoon stood passive, water sluicing down his back, rinsing evidence of their joining. Silence stretched thick, broken only by the water's rush and occasional shifts of feet. Dohoon's throat tightened, suffocation creeping in despite open air, regret gnawing deeper with each mute second.

Stupid move, blurting feelings during sex when their deal stayed casual, bodies only, no strings to tangle hearts.

The shower ended quickly. They toweled off in quiet, mechanical movements, avoiding eyes.

Back in the bedroom, Shinyu sank onto the bed's edge, elbows on legs, gaze fixed on the floor. Tension radiated from his slumped shoulders, jaw clenched as if wrestling inner turmoil.

Dohoon did not want to wait for whatever conclusion he might come to.

He walked over, stopping in front of him before reaching out. His hands came up to cup Shinyu’s cheeks, guiding his face upward so their eyes met.

For a second, neither of them spoke.

Then Shinyu’s lips parted.

“I’m sorry.”

The words were quiet, almost hesitant.

But they were enough.

Dohoon understood immediately. There was no need for anything more. The meaning settled in his chest, heavier than he expected, tightening around his heart in a way that made it hard to breathe.

So this was how it would end.

Or at least, how that part of it would.

He felt his hands tremble slightly where they rested against Shinyu’s face, but he forced himself to stay steady. He could not let it show, not now.

“It’s fine,” Dohoon said, his voice softer than usual but controlled. “I should be the one saying sorry. I didn’t mean to… you know… like you like that.”

The words came out easier than Dohoon expected, even if they did not feel entirely true.

Shinyu shook his head, as if disagreeing, but Dohoon did not let him speak further. He gave his cheek a light tap, a small gesture meant to cut through the heaviness of the moment.

“I’m telling you, it’s fine,” Dohoon continued, holding his gaze. “It’s also up to you if you still want to… continue this arrangement between us. I don’t really mind.”

He forced a smile, one that felt steady enough on the surface.

Although inside, it was an entirely different story.

Shinyu looked at him for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then his hand lifted, covering one of Dohoon’s hands that still rested against his cheek.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

There was no elaboration after that, no attempt to soften or complicate what it meant. It stood there on its own, clear enough for Dohoon to understand.

And he did.

It meant that whatever they were doing would continue. It meant that despite everything, despite the confession that slipped out at the wrong time and the rejection that followed right after, Shinyu still wanted him around. Just not in the way Dohoon wanted.

Dohoon accepted it.

At least, that was what he told himself.

After that night, nothing outwardly changed. They still met the same way, still fell into the same rhythm they had built over time. The familiarity remained, the quiet understanding of what they were to each other never spoken aloud again. But for Dohoon, it felt different. Every interaction carried an extra layer he could not peel away. Every glance, every touch, every shared moment reminded him of the line he had crossed and the answer he received.

He adjusted the only way he knew how… by pretending nothing changed.

There was only one moment where he allowed himself to step slightly out of that act. It came up casually, almost like an afterthought, though the intention behind it ran deeper than he let on.

He told Shinyu about Youngjae.

More specifically, about Youngjae being involved with Jihoon, Dohoon’s best friend.

Dohoon did not say it lightly, if anything, it was more like a threat. The words came with a firmness that surprised even himself as he made it clear where he stood.

If Shinyu did anything that would ruin whatever was going on between Youngjae and Jihoon, then Dohoon would cut him off immediately. There would be no discussion, no second chances. He would not allow that line to be crossed.

At the same time, he added something else. If Youngjae chose Shinyu on his own, if things shifted naturally in that direction, then Dohoon would not interfere.

It was a strange boundary to set, and he knew it. He knew it was biased, unfair in ways he could not fully justify. But if he could not protect himself from what he was feeling, then the least he could do was protect Jihoon.

Shinyu already knew about Youngjae and Jihoon. Everyone did, apparently. Jihoon never hid how he felt, wearing everything openly without much concern for how others perceived it. That made it easy for people to notice, to talk, to form their own conclusions.

When Dohoon said all of that, Shinyu only looked at him with a hint of confusion at first. It lingered briefly before he gave a small nod, accepting it without pushing further.

That was enough.

Dohoon did not bring it up again.

Days passed, then weeks, and everything stayed suspended in that fragile balance until one night shifted things again.

Jihoon showed up at his apartment without warning.

The moment Dohoon opened the door, he could tell something was wrong. Jihoon looked lost in a way that felt heavier, his energy drained, his expression dimmed. It was not like him.

Dohoon let him in without asking too many questions, already preparing himself for whatever was about to come.

Jihoon ended up sprawled on the floor, his back against the surface as he stared up at the ceiling, recounting everything in fragments. He talked about the times he spent with Youngjae, the moments he thought meant something more, the outings he believed were dates.

Then, slowly, the realization slipped into his words.

Maybe it was not a date.

Maybe it was just a hangout between friends for Youngjae.

Dohoon listened.

He stayed quiet, letting Jihoon speak, even as the words grew heavier. What unsettled him more was the way Jihoon started turning it inward, questioning himself, comparing himself to Shinyu without even realizing how unfair that was.

Dohoon clenched his jaw as he listened.

He didn’t know what to say. There were no words that could easily fix what Jihoon was feeling, no reassurance that would fully reach him in that moment.

Then his phone started ringing.

Once.

Twice.

Again.

The sound cut through the room, persistent enough to draw attention. Jihoon glanced at it, pointing it out casually at first, then again when it did not stop.

Dohoon ignored it.

He kept his focus on Jihoon, choosing not to engage with whoever was calling. But the ringing continued, filling the silence between Jihoon’s words.

It did not take long for Dohoon to realize who it was.

Shinyu.

The timing felt almost cruel.

Dohoon held back a reaction, forcing himself to stay composed. He did not want Jihoon to misunderstand anything, did not want him to pick up on the frustration building beneath the surface.

But even patience had its limits, and Dohoon reached his. So when he finally answered the call, his tone came out steady, almost detached.

Shinyu’s voice came through as expected, asking if he was available, as if nothing had changed, as if things were still the same between them.

Dohoon did not hesitate one bit.

“Let’s stop meeting,” he said, his voice firm.

The words left his mouth without wavering. Then he added something else, something that came out sharper than he intended.

“Jihoonie’s much better than you in bed anyway. Go focus on your man.”

He didn’t know why he said it.

The comment felt unnecessary the moment it left him. It would not matter to Shinyu, not in the way Dohoon might’ve wanted. It didn’t bring satisfaction either, only a hollow feeling that settled quickly after.

Still, he let it stand. If anything, it created distance.

Even if the comparison itself felt wrong. The thought of Jihoon in that context made him uncomfortable. There was no part of him that could see Jihoon that way. It was never going to happen.

The words served only one purpose.

To end things with Shinyu.

After the call, Dohoon hoped that would be it. That Shinyu would understand and stop reaching out. That everything between them would finally come to a close.

Shinyu had what he wanted, or at least that was how it looked to Dohoon. And Dohoon was left to deal with what remained.

Jihoon eventually left, even after Dohoon asked him to stay. The apartment felt quieter once he was gone, the absence settling in almost immediately.

Dohoon lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The same ceiling he had stared at countless times before. But this time, everything felt heavier. The tightness in his chest returned, familiar yet unwelcome. It pressed down on him, making each breath feel shallow, uneven.

He waited.

A part of him hoped for something.

A knock on the door.

The sound of the doorbell.

Another call.

Anything that would break the silence and give him a reason to believe that things were not as final as they seemed.

He wanted Shinyu to show up, to say something, to explain.

But nothing came.

Only silence filled the room, along with the thoughts that refused to settle.

That night, sleep did not come easily. At some point, Dohoon felt it spill over again. Quiet, unguarded, and heavier than he wanted to admit.

The following day shifted his focus elsewhere. He stayed close to Jihoon, keeping his promise to help him move on. Jihoon needed it more than he let on. He was too open, too sincere, the kind of person who would continue reaching out even when he shouldn’t.

Dohoon tried his best to steer him away from that.

During dance practices, he watched Jihoon carefully. It was clear that he was still affected, still holding onto something that was already slipping away. It didn’t take much to see how fragile he felt.

So Dohoon stayed.

Dohoon stayed by Jihoon’s side as much as possible, determined to make sure he didn't have to face the fallout alone. It wasn't that he held a grudge against Shinyu or Youngjae; he knew the whole situation was just a tangled, complicated mess, but his loyalty stayed firmly with Jihoon. Nothing else really mattered to him in the heat of the moment.

However, his plans to stick around were cut short much sooner than he expected. The very next day, a frantic call came from home, an emergency that forced his priorities to shift in an instant. He had to move fast, reaching out to his professors to see if he could switch to online learning for a while. Luckily, most of them were understanding, and he managed to get his life packed up and sorted within a few hours.

Leaving campus ended up giving Dohoon a sense of relief he hadn't known he needed. Once he was back in his hometown, far away from the heavy atmosphere of the university and the constant reminders of what had happened, he felt like he could finally take a full breath again. He spent the next month focusing on his family, spending his days taking care of his grandmother and his nights hunched over his laptop, keeping up with schoolwork.

During those quiet weeks, his mind often wandered back to everything that had transpired. He thought about how it all began and, inevitably, his thoughts always landed on Shinyu. Away from the noise of other people's opinions, Dohoon finally saw the truth clearly: Shinyu was the center of almost every major first in his life.

Shinyu was the first person he had ever kissed and the first person he had shared those soft, intimate moments with. He was the one who encouraged (and discouraged) Dohoon to try things he never would have considered on his own. Beyond his family, Shinyu was the first person to care for him in a way that felt special and deeply personal. He was the first person Dohoon had truly liked with his whole heart, and unfortunately, the first person to ever reject him.

It felt like a heavy weight to tie so many significant memories to just one person. Yet, as Dohoon sat in the quiet of his childhood home, he realized there wasn't any bitterness left in him. He was still hurt, that was undeniable, but he couldn't bring himself to blame Shinyu for any of it. After all, Dohoon was the one who had started it. Even if it began as a lighthearted joke, he was the one who kept pushing the boundaries, and Shinyu had simply met him halfway.

Looking back on it now, Dohoon could find a small sense of peace. He could say with total certainty that all of those precious firsts had been shared with someone who was genuinely a good person. Despite the messy ending, that was a truth he would never try to deny.

Returning to the university after being away for a month felt strange. The campus looked exactly the same as always, with the same tall buildings and the same busy paths filled with students, but Dohoon felt like a stranger. It was as if the world had kept moving forward while he was gone, leaving him behind in the past.

His afternoon class ended quietly. He took his time packing his bag, moving slowly because he wasn't quite ready to face the real world yet. His plan was simple and required no effort. He would just find something to eat near the gates and then head straight back to his apartment to rest.

When he stepped outside, the air felt different from what it did back home. It was louder and more crowded, filled with the sounds of people talking and rushing to their next destination. He was about to walk toward the exit when a familiar sound stopped him in his tracks.

It was laughter, specifically Jihoon’s bright and loud laughter. Dohoon turned his head toward the sound and saw his friend standing a few meters away. Jihoon looked happy and full of energy, which was a huge change from the heartbroken person Dohoon had seen a month ago.

What surprised him more was that Jihoon was clinging to Youngjae’s arm. It looked completely natural, as if they were always meant to be that close. Dohoon felt a bit confused because he didn't expect Jihoon to move on this fast. He knew Jihoon might try to fix things with Youngjae eventually, but he didn't think everything would change in just four weeks.

Before he could think about it more, Jihoon saw him. For a second, Jihoon looked shocked, but then a huge smile broke across his face. He grabbed Youngjae’s hand and practically dragged him over as he ran toward Dohoon.

"Dohoon hyung! Where have you been?" Jihoon shouted as soon as he was close enough.

Dohoon laughed softly, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sudden attention. He explained that he had an emergency at home but was finally back for good. He gave Youngjae a friendly nod, and Youngjae smiled back at him in a polite, gentle way.

Jihoon wasn't done yet. He puffed out his cheeks in a pout and complained that Dohoon hadn't even sent him a message or read his message. He joked that he had been incredibly lonely without his best friend around.

Dohoon looked at how close Jihoon and Youngjae were standing and gave them a teasing grin. 

“You didn’t seem lonely, though? Already found a new best friend?”

He expected a laugh, but instead, both Jihoon and Youngjae turned bright red. They looked at each other in a way that felt very private and shy. Then, Jihoon took Youngjae’s hand and held it up, showing Dohoon how their fingers were locked together.

"About that," Jihoon said softly.

It finally clicked for Dohoon. They weren't just friends anymore; they were officially dating. They looked so happy and comfortable together that it was impossible to mistake them for anything else. Dohoon was happy for them, but he was also very confused.

"What about Shinyu hyung?" Dohoon asked. He really thought there was something happening between Youngjae and Shinyu.

Youngjae was the one who answered. He explained quietly that he and Shinyu were never like that. It was all just baseless rumors that almost cost him Jihoon. Dohoon nodded slowly as he tried to process this new information. He felt a strange sense of relief, telling himself it was just because Jihoon was finally happy. But then another thought hit him. If those two were together, it meant Shinyu was all alone.

The thought made his chest feel tight again. He congratulated the couple and joked with Jihoon one last time before making an excuse to leave. He wasn't hungry anymore; if anything, he felt nauseous because of the guilt he’d been feeling. All he wanted to do was go home and think.

By the time he reached his apartment, the unease had settled deeper. He dropped his bag by the side, moving toward his bed before sitting down, his phone already in his hand.

He stared at it for a moment. He had the notifications off the entire time he was back in his hometown, and he actively ignored everything.

So contacting Shinyu did not feel simple.

He was the one who cut things off. He was the one who told Shinyu to stop reaching out. Reaching out now felt… complicated.

He rubbed his forehead, exhaling slowly before turning the notifications on and opening his messaging app. The notifications flooded in immediately. He froze for a second, not expecting that many.

Most of them were from Jihoon. There were too many to go through right away, so he decided to leave them for later. He could just ask Jihoon directly.

What drew Dohoon in was not the flood of messages from Jihoon, even if they filled most of his screen and demanded attention in their own way. His focus shifted almost immediately to another name, one that sat there among the notifications like it carried a different kind of weight.

Shin Junghwan.

Seeing it there made his fingers still for a moment, hovering just above the screen. There were more messages than he expected, enough to make him pause before opening them. He did not think Shinyu would keep reaching out after everything he said before leaving. Yet the notifications told a different story, one that Dohoon had not prepared himself to face.

He tapped on the conversation slowly, almost cautiously, as if opening it would change something.

The messages loaded one after another, and Dohoon felt a tightness build in his chest as he began scrolling through them. They were not sent all at once. They were spaced out, scattered across days, but consistent enough to form a pattern that was hard to overlook. There was at least one message each day. Some were brief, just a few words that looked like they were sent without much thought. Others were longer, carrying more weight behind them.

Apologies appeared more than once. Questions followed, sometimes simple, sometimes pressing. There were repeated attempts to get him to respond, to meet, to talk.

Mixed in between were missed calls.

Every single day.

Dohoon’s eyes lingered on that detail longer. It was one thing to send messages, but calling every day felt different. It carried a persistence that he did not expect from Shinyu, not after how things ended between them.

His gaze shifted to the most recent message.

It was from yesterday.

Dohoon stared at it, unmoving, his thoughts caught somewhere between uncertainty and something heavier that he did not want to name. His heartbeat picked up slightly, louder in his ears as he remained there, not quite sure what he was supposed to do with everything he was seeing.

Before he could come to a decision, his phone lit up again.

The screen displayed the same name.

Shin Junghwan.

He was calling... again.

Dohoon’s breath caught for a second, his thumb hovering over the screen as hesitation settled in. He could ignore it. That would have been the easier choice. He was the one who asked for distance in the first place. He was the one who made it clear that things should end.

Answering would only complicate things further.

But even with that thought in mind, his thumb moved.

He accepted the call.

“Dohoon!”

Shinyu’s voice came through immediately, filling the space in a way that felt too close despite the distance between them. There was something off about it, something rushed, almost breathless, as if he had been waiting for this moment.

“I heard from Youngjae that you’re back, and I saw that you read my messages—”

The words came quickly, overlapping slightly, like he was trying to say everything at once before Dohoon could cut him off.

Dohoon swallowed, tightening his grip on the phone as he tried to steady himself.

“Yeah,” he replied after a brief pause, keeping his tone as even as possible. “I had an emergency back home.”

It felt strange saying it out loud to Shinyu after everything. Even after a month of distance, even after convincing himself that he had sorted through his feelings, hearing Shinyu’s voice again stirred something within him that refused to stay buried.

“Huh? Are you okay? Is everything okay?”

The concern in Shinyu’s voice came through clearly, without hesitation, and it caught Dohoon off guard in a way he didn’t expect.

For a split second, he almost laughed.

How could Shinyu still sound like that after everything that happened between them?

After the way Dohoon ended things, after the words he threw at him, after the silence that followed for an entire month.

Yet here he was, asking as if none of that mattered.

“Dohoon?” Shinyu called again when no response came right away.

Dohoon blinked, pulled back from his thoughts by the sound of his name. He let out a quiet hum, acknowledging him.

“Everything’s fine,” he said, his voice softer now but still controlled. “Don’t worry, hyung.”

He paused for a moment, the next words coming out more uncertain than he intended.

“How about you? Are you… okay?”

He wasn’t sure if he should be asking that. He was the one who walked away. The one who left Shinyu without giving him a chance to respond properly. Asking about his well-being now felt almost misplaced.

There was a brief silence on the other end of the call.

It lingered just long enough for Dohoon to notice before Shinyu responded with a quiet hum.

Dohoon nodded to himself, even though Shinyu couldn’t see him.

“That’s good to know,” he said, forcing a small smile that did not quite reach anywhere.

The silence returned, stretching between them in a way that felt heavier this time. It was not the kind of silence that came from comfort. It was filled with things left unsaid, with questions neither of them seemed ready to ask directly.

Dohoon shifted slightly where he sat, his attention drifting to the faint sounds coming from the other end of the call. He could hear it clearly. Cars passing by, distant voices blending together, the subtle hum of the outside world.

Shinyu was still out. It wasn’t even that late.

“If there’s nothing else, I’ll hang up now, okay?” Dohoon said after a moment, his tone gentler now. He did not want to keep him on the call longer than necessary, especially if he was still outside.

There was a pause, though it only lasted for a few seconds. Then, suddenly, the background noise disappeared.

The shift was noticeable. The sounds of the street faded, replaced by something quieter, more contained.

“Before you hang up,” Shinyu said, his voice steadier this time, more controlled than before, “can I talk to you?”

Dohoon frowned slightly, confusion settling in as he processed the question.

“I don’t really know if we have anything else to talk about, hyung,” he replied honestly. “But if we do, we can do it later or another day. You’re still outside, right?”

Dohoon could still hear the faint hum of silence from the other side of the call after he pointed out that Shinyu was probably still outside. For a moment, he thought the older would finally agree to continue the conversation another day. That seemed like the more reasonable choice anyway. Whatever Shinyu wanted to say could wait. At least, that was what Dohoon kept telling himself.

Then Shinyu spoke again.

“Is it okay if we talk now, though?”

The question only deepened Dohoon’s confusion. Shinyu clearly sounded like he had just stepped away from the noise of the streets a few moments ago. Unless he had already reached his apartment building, Dohoon could not understand why he sounded so intent on talking immediately.

Dohoon shifted on his bed, phone pressed against his ear as he stared blankly at the ceiling.

“I’m fine anytime,” he answered carefully, trying to sound casual despite the uneasiness curling in his stomach. “But we can’t do it today since you’re still out, hyung.”

He hoped Shinyu would just let it go for tonight. Talking face-to-face after everything that had happened between them felt too heavy, especially when Dohoon had only returned a few hours ago. He still felt emotionally unsteady after finding out the truth about Jihoon and Youngjae. His thoughts were already tangled enough without adding Shinyu into the mix.

Silence followed.

A few seconds passed with nothing but the quiet static of the call between them.

Then the line suddenly disconnected.

Dohoon pulled the phone away from his ear and frowned at the screen. The abrupt end of the call caught him off guard. He stared at it for a second, confused, before letting out a small sigh.

“What was that?” he muttered under his breath.

He dropped back onto his bed, one arm covering his eyes as exhaustion slowly settled over him. His head felt crowded with thoughts that refused to slow down. Just hearing Shinyu’s voice again already stirred too much inside him.

A notification buzzed against his palm.

Dohoon moved his arm away from his face and looked down at his phone. A message from Shinyu appeared on the screen.

‘Sorry. The line cut off. I was in the elevator.’

Dohoon blinked at the message, his brows slowly knitting together.

Elevator? He was probably on his way back to his own apartment.

Before he could even process that thought fully, the doorbell rang.

The sound echoed through the apartment once.

Then again.

And again.

Dohoon stared toward the direction of the front door, confusion growing stronger with every ring. Slowly, he pushed himself off the bed and walked toward the entrance, his mind already beginning to piece things together before he even reached it.

When he opened the door, he froze briefly at the sight in front of him.

“Hyung?” Dohoon blinked in surprise, opening the door wider as he stared at Shinyu standing there. “What are you doing here?”

Shinyu looked slightly out of breath, though he still managed to smile. In one hand was a plastic bag filled with food.

“Have you had your dinner?” Shinyu asked as he lifted the bag slightly.

Dohoon simply stared at him for a few seconds, trying to process the situation. So Shinyu had not been outside somewhere far away during the call. He had already been in the building. Probably already on his way up while they were talking.

The realization made something twist strangely inside his chest.

Without another word, Dohoon stepped aside to let him in.

“Come in.”

Shinyu quietly entered the apartment, closing the door behind him before slipping off his shoes near the entrance. Dohoon remained standing there for a second, still unsure what exactly he was supposed to feel about all this.

He watched as Shinyu walked toward the small dining table near the kitchen area and placed the plastic bag down carefully.

“I brought burgers and fries,” Shinyu said while turning toward him with a faint smile. “I don’t think it’ll be enough for a proper meal, but I remembered you saying you liked these.”

Dohoon looked at him blankly for a moment before forcing himself to respond.

“Thanks,” he said quietly.

He walked over to the fridge, pulling out two canned colas before handing one to Shinyu.

“What brought you here, hyung?” Dohoon asked again, unable to hold back his curiosity any longer.

Shinyu pulled out one of the chairs and sat down slowly.

“I asked if we could talk,” he replied simply. “You said yes. But before that, let’s eat first. Classes just ended for today, right?”

Dohoon stared at him for another second, confusion still written clearly across his face, before eventually nodding. He took the seat across from Shinyu and accepted the burger being handed to him.

As he unwrapped it, an odd sense of familiarity settled over the apartment.

Everything about this moment reminded him too much of their old dorm days.

The late dinners.

The convenience food.

The quiet companionship after exhausting classes.

Back then, when neither of them felt like cooking, they would sit together exactly like this. Though most of the time, Shinyu still ended up cooking anyway while Dohoon washed the dishes afterward. The memory surfaced so naturally that it almost made his chest ache.

Dohoon took a bite from the burger, chewing slowly while avoiding Shinyu’s gaze for a moment.

Dinner passed with light conversation. Mostly catching up. Shinyu asked about his grandmother’s condition. Dohoon asked about classes and graduation preparations. The conversation eased some of the tension between them, though it never fully disappeared.

There was still something sitting heavily beneath every word exchanged between them.

Once they finished eating and cleaned up the table, silence settled again.

This time it felt louder.

Dohoon noticed Shinyu watching him quietly from across the table. He finally raised an eyebrow.

“Are you here to… I don’t know, renew our agreement or something?” Dohoon asked bluntly.

There was really nothing else that made sense to him anymore.

Their arrangement only ended because Dohoon thought Shinyu had already gotten what he wanted with Youngjae. But now that he knew the truth, technically, nothing was stopping them from continuing.

Shinyu frowned slightly.

“Do you still want to continue that?” he asked carefully.

Dohoon shrugged.

“Unless you already found someone to replace me during the time I was gone.”

At that, Shinyu pressed his lips into a thin line before leaning back against the chair. A tired sigh escaped him as he ran a hand through his hair.

Dohoon chuckled softly at the reaction before standing from his seat.

Slowly, he walked toward Shinyu until he stood directly in front of him.

Shinyu lifted his gaze to look up at him.

Dohoon reached forward and cupped his cheeks gently.

“I heard about what happened,” Dohoon said quietly, eyes fixed on Shinyu’s face. “Though I heard about it pretty late.”

Even now, despite everything, Dohoon has already accepted that he never really stood a chance romantically. Unlike him, Shinyu was someone who actually seemed capable of holding onto hope for another person.

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Dohoon continued softly. “You’ll find someone too.”

He meant it sincerely. Even if part of him still hurt. Even if another part still wished things could have been different.

Shinyu deserved happiness. Dohoon genuinely believed that.

He let his gaze wander across Shinyu’s face for a moment, tracing familiar features silently.

Then he smiled faintly.

“You’ll find someone who’ll trace all the moles on your face with kisses and shower you with love.”

The confession slipped out more honestly than intended.

Dohoon always admired Shinyu’s moles. The small ones were scattered across his forehead, nose, cheeks, and chin. He used to stare at them quietly during their intimate moments, wondering what it would feel like to kiss every single one.

But he always stopped himself.

It felt too intimate.

Too affectionate for what they were supposed to be.

The thought alone made a sharp ache spread through his chest again.

“I guess we’re on the same page now, huh?” Dohoon laughed weakly. “We both got rejected. Well… technically.”

He slowly let go of Shinyu’s face.

“I didn’t wish for that to happen, though… you getting rejected,” he added quickly. “I’m not that evil.”

Shinyu stayed quiet after that, his eyes fixed on Dohoon as if he were searching for something within his expression. The silence stretched between them, heavy and unmoving, filling the small apartment in a way that made Dohoon increasingly aware of his own heartbeat. He could feel Shinyu’s gaze lingering on him, steady and unreadable, and it made the tightness in his chest worsen little by little.

Dohoon tried to keep the smile on his face despite it all. He kept his hands relaxed at his sides, even though part of him already wanted to pull away from the conversation completely before it dug too deep into feelings he had spent an entire month trying to bury.

Then Shinyu finally spoke.

“Why can’t it be you, Dohoon?”

The question landed so suddenly that Dohoon felt his breath falter. For a brief second, his mind went completely blank. He stared at Shinyu, eyes widening ever so slightly before he quickly looked away, biting the inside of his lower lip as he tried to steady himself.

It was such a simple question, yet hearing it from Shinyu made something ache painfully inside him.

Dohoon inhaled slowly through his nose before turning back to Shinyu, and tilting his head slightly, forcing a small smile onto his lips even though it felt fragile.

“I should be asking you that instead, hyung,” he replied softly, his voice quieter than before.

“Why can’t it be me?”

A small laugh escaped him afterward, but it sounded weak even to his own ears. There was no real amusement in it, only exhaustion mixed with something he could no longer hide properly.

He lowered his gaze briefly before speaking again.

“No matter how much I wanted it to be me, you never looked at me like I was the answer to that question.”

The honesty in his own words made his chest tighten further. Dohoon hated how vulnerable he sounded, hated how easily Shinyu could pull these confessions out of him without even trying.

Silence settled heavily between them once more.

Dohoon could practically feel the weight of everything left unsaid hanging in the air. It became suffocating the longer it lasted, so he quickly forced himself to smile again, trying to lighten the atmosphere before things became even more complicated.

“Anyway,” he started, clearing his throat lightly as he pulled himself back together, “shouldn’t you be focusing on your final semesters instead of stressing over this?”

He chuckled softly and pointed toward Shinyu with a teasing look.

“You’re about to become one of the unemployed people soon, hyung.”

The attempt at humor felt clumsy, but Dohoon still pushed through with it. He would rather joke around than continue standing there feeling like his chest was being pried open.

Shinyu, however, did not laugh.

Instead, he continued staring at Dohoon quietly for another few seconds, his expression unreadable in a way that immediately made Dohoon wary. Then, without saying anything, Shinyu suddenly pushed himself up from the chair.

The abrupt movement caught Dohoon off guard.

He blinked in confusion, instinctively tilting his head as he looked at the older man standing right in front of him now.

“Hey,” he said quickly, laughing nervously, “if you’re about to say something dramatic like you like me or whatever, I’m seriously going to hate you because… you’re just lonely right now, hyung.”

Shinyu’s eyes widened immediately as he shook his head.

“No! No, that’s not it.”

Ouch. Dohoon thought as he got another rejection. A part of him really wanted it to be Shinyu confessing, even though he’d look like a backburner. An afterthought. The second option. Even though it was pathetic.

Shinyu then reached forward and held Dohoon’s hand tightly.

“I came here to apologize again,” Shinyu said quietly, squeezing his hand slightly. “I’m sorry because I rejected you, even though it wasn’t because I don’t like you. I just… I genuinely didn’t understand what I was feeling.”

Dohoon frowned in confusion.

Shinyu lowered his gaze briefly before continuing.

“I’ve been confused ever since that time you saw me with Youngjae,” he admitted. “I was scared that day. Really scared. And I didn’t understand why you being disappointed in me affected me so much.”

Dohoon could feel Shinyu’s hands trembling slightly around his own.

“I’m not trying to make excuses,” Shinyu continued quietly. “I’m not trying to save myself either. I’m just… confused. And I think because of that confusion, I convinced myself that I liked Youngjae because being around him didn’t make me feel the same way being around you does.”

Dohoon blinked before rolling his eyes playfully.

“Wow,” he muttered with a weak laugh. “Way to tell me you’re more comfortable with someone else.”

Shinyu immediately shook his head again.

“No! That’s not what I mean.” His grip tightened slightly. “I realized I wasn’t even hurt when he started dating someone. But when I lost you… when I thought I lost you…” He swallowed hard. “I felt completely lost.”

Dohoon stayed silent.

“I came here every day,” Shinyu admitted quietly. “I kept hoping you’d open the door. I checked constantly to see if you've read my messages. So when Youngjae told me you were back, I came here immediately.”

He looked directly at Dohoon then.

“I’m still not saying I like you because even now I don’t fully understand my feelings yet,” Shinyu confessed softly. “So I came here to apologize.”

Dohoon drew in a slow breath, forcing the tightness in his chest down as he stared up at the ceiling for a moment. The bright light above him blurred slightly behind the sting gathering in his eyes. He pressed his lips together, willing himself not to cry in front of Shinyu. He already embarrassed himself enough in the past. He did not want this moment to turn into another memory where he looked too pathetic, too attached, too hopeful over someone who still stood in front of him looking uncertain.

His fingers trembled faintly before he reached for Shinyu’s arm with his free hand as he turned to look at him. The warmth beneath his palm grounded him a little. He gave Shinyu’s arm a small pat, almost comforting, even though he felt like the one falling apart between the two of them.

“You don’t have to apologize for being confused,” Dohoon said, managing a smile despite the ache spreading through his chest. “When I confessed before, I only really expected a very tiny chance that you’d feel the same way. So I was not really that disappointed.”

Lies…

In reality, Dohoon remembered exactly how much hope he carried back then. He remembered lying beneath Shinyu during their shared nights, wondering if the softness in Shinyu’s touches meant something more. He remembered the way Shinyu always dried his hair after showers when he got too sleepy. The way Shinyu cooked for him without complaint. The way he listened whenever Dohoon rambled about random things. Those moments piled up quietly until Dohoon started believing maybe he was special to Shinyu, too.

But hearing Shinyu apologize now, standing in front of him looking torn and confused, made Dohoon realize that telling the truth would only hurt both of them further.

So he kept smiling.

“It’s fine,” Dohoon continued softly. “I just hope someday someone comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet without making you feel confused about anything.”

Each word felt heavy in his throat.

His chest hurt so badly he almost wanted to stop talking altogether. It felt like forcing himself to hand Shinyu away to someone else before he even got the chance to try holding onto him. But what else could he do? Shinyu already told him he did not understand his own feelings. Dohoon refused to cling to uncertainty while slowly destroying himself in the process.

He swallowed hard before speaking again.

“So… uhm…” Dohoon let out a small, awkward laugh, trying to ease the tension hanging thickly between them. “I don’t think it’s wise for us to continue being fuckbuddies anymore. I think it’s affecting both of us badly.” His voice softened near the end. “Can we at least stay friends?”

Dohoon looked directly at Shinyu after saying that, expecting another apology, maybe even relief.

Instead, he found tears in Shinyu’s eyes.

The sight stunned him into silence.

Shinyu rarely cried. In fact, Dohoon could barely remember ever seeing him genuinely emotional like this. Yet there he was, standing right in front of Dohoon with reddened eyes, lips pressed tightly together as if trying to stop himself from completely breaking apart.

Dohoon didn’t ask why he was crying.

He didn’t think he wanted to know.

Because if he asked, and Shinyu gave him an answer that carried hope, Dohoon knew he would crumble all over again.

So he simply stood there quietly until Shinyu eventually nodded.

After that night, life moved forward as though nothing between them had shifted.

Dohoon returned to attending classes every day. He buried himself in assignments, projects, and exam preparations while trying his best not to think too deeply whenever loneliness crept up on him late at night. Jihoon and Youngjae constantly dragged him out of his apartment whenever they thought he was isolating himself too much. Most of the time, it was Jihoon showing up unannounced and whining dramatically about how Dohoon was becoming boring.

Dohoon still complained every single time.

He still followed them anyway.

Sometimes, when Jihoon disappeared on dates with Youngjae, Dohoon found himself wandering toward Shinyu’s apartment instead. It started naturally. He would text first, asking if Shinyu was home, and Shinyu always replied almost immediately. There were nights when Dohoon simply lay on Shinyu’s couch while scrolling through his phone, while Shinyu worked quietly nearby. Other times, they shared takeout meals while watching random television shows neither of them paid attention to.

Shinyu always let him stay as long as he wanted.

But they never crossed the line again.

No kissing.

No shared nights tangled in sheets.

No lingering touches that lasted too long.

The change felt strange at first. Their relationship used to revolve around physical closeness so naturally that removing it created a noticeable emptiness between them. Yet somehow, they managed to settle into something quieter.

Something safer.

When Shinyu graduated, Dohoon attended the ceremony carrying a small bouquet and a handwritten card.

The card simply read:

Congratulations on being unemployed!

Shinyu laughed the moment he read it, shaking his head while looking at Dohoon with amusement.

“You’re next,” Shinyu replied immediately.

Dohoon groaned loudly in response, earning laughter from both Shinyu and the people nearby.

Despite everything, moments like that still came easily between them.

Dohoon’s senior year quickly became one of the most exhausting periods of his life. Every week felt packed with endless requirements, presentations, and sleepless nights. Sometimes, he genuinely wondered how Shinyu survived university without losing his mind, especially during the period when their relationship became painfully complicated.

Then again, Shinyu was naturally smart.

Dohoon considered himself hardworking.

There was a huge difference between those two things, and Dohoon felt that difference every single day during his final year.

Even after graduating, Shinyu continued dropping by Dohoon’s apartment from time to time. Especially after he landed his first official job. They celebrated together that night, buying alcohol and cheap food while sitting on Dohoon’s floor, laughing over random stories.

Dohoon drank far too much.

The next morning, he woke up with a pounding headache, and panic immediately rushed through him.

Thankfully, according to Shinyu, nothing happened.

“You blacked out halfway through your dramatic speech about how capitalism is ruining your life,” Shinyu told him while holding out a glass of water.

Dohoon buried his face into a pillow afterward, too embarrassed to continue the conversation.

Even then, despite the comfortable friendship they rebuilt, Dohoon’s feelings never truly disappeared.

He tried convincing himself they would eventually fade. He thought maybe time would slowly wear them down until seeing Shinyu no longer affected him this much.

But every smile from Shinyu still made his chest tighten.

Every casual touch still lingered too long in his mind afterward.

How was he supposed to move on when his first love remained close enough to reach out and touch?

There were moments where Dohoon genuinely considered disappearing from Shinyu’s life completely. Maybe if he stopped replying. Maybe if he moved apartments. Maybe if he created enough distance between them, his feelings would finally weaken.

But Shinyu already knew where he lived.

And honestly, Dohoon himself could not fully let go either.

As painful as it was, seeing Shinyu happy still brought him comfort.

At least Shinyu remained single.

Selfishly, Dohoon found relief in that.

He even caught himself hoping that once he graduated, Shinyu would finally find someone to date seriously. Then maybe Dohoon could quietly step away afterward without feeling guilty.

Which led him to today.

His graduation day.

Even now, standing in the middle of campus wearing his graduation robe, Dohoon still felt slightly shocked that he actually made it on time. He spent most of his university years convinced he was fooling around too much to properly graduate alongside everyone else.

Yet here he was.

Done.

He informed Shinyu about the graduation beforehand. Shinyu congratulated him through text, but Dohoon never directly invited him to attend. Shinyu works full-time now. He looked exhausted almost every time they met lately. Dohoon did not want to take up more of his time.

Still, somewhere deep down, he hoped Shinyu would come.

Because no matter how complicated things became between them, almost every important memory from Dohoon’s university life somehow involved Shinyu.

The thought made graduation feel bittersweet.

Maybe this was finally the point where he moved on completely.

Maybe once university ended, he could finally leave these feelings behind, too.

Dohoon busied himself taking photos with classmates and professors to stop himself from thinking too much. His grandmother clung proudly to his arm during most of it, constantly fixing his robe while praising him loudly enough for nearby families to hear.

While Dohoon adjusted his phone to take another picture, his grandmother suddenly tugged lightly on his sleeve.

“When are you planning to finish taking pictures?” she asked with a smile. “Your suitor has been waiting for you. I don’t know if you’d want him left alone with your parents for too long.”

Dohoon blinked immediately.

“Grams,” he said with a laugh, “you misunderstood something. I don’t have a suitor. Maybe you meant another student.”

Instead of listening, his grandmother waved him off impatiently.

“Enough already. We’ve already taken many photos together! Go meet him! I already approve.”

Dohoon stared at her in disbelief.

“I seriously don’t have anyone like that,” he deadpanned.

Still, he followed after her anyway toward the area where he had left his parents earlier. Jihoon had already disappeared somewhere with Youngjae, and Dohoon did not really have anything else to do.

But the moment he spotted the familiar figure standing near his parents, his steps slowed.

His heartbeat slammed violently against his ribs.

For a second, the noise around him faded.

Standing there in formal office clothes, holding a large bouquet in his hands, was the exact person Dohoon secretly wished would attend today.

Shinyu.

Dohoon felt his stomach twist instantly.

He genuinely thought Shinyu wouldn’t come.

Before he could fully process the situation, his mother noticed him first.

“Dohoon-ah!” she called excitedly while waving him over. “Stop making Junghwan wait!”

Heat rushed straight to Dohoon’s face as he quickly walked toward them, trying his hardest not to smile too obviously.

“What are you doing here?” Dohoon asked once he stood in front of Shinyu. His eyes stayed fixed on him. “I mean… I didn’t expect you.”

“Now, Dohoon-ah,” his mother said with a disapproving look, lightly smacking his arm, “that is such a rude thing to say to someone who came all the way here for you.”

Dohoon barely even reacted to her scolding because his attention stayed completely on Shinyu.

Shinyu stood there looking unfairly handsome in his office clothes, sleeves neatly buttoned, tie slightly loosened as if he truly came straight from work without even stopping anywhere else first. The sight alone made Dohoon’s chest tighten strangely. Then Shinyu smiled before lifting the bouquet in his hands and offering it to him.

“Congratulations on graduating,” Shinyu said warmly, amusement flickering in his eyes. “And welcome to unemployment.”

The familiar teasing instantly pulled a laugh out of Dohoon. He reached for the bouquet, fingers brushing briefly against Shinyu’s hand during the exchange.

“Thanks, hyung,” Dohoon replied, still unable to stop smiling properly.

He lowered his gaze toward the bouquet for a moment, noticing the arrangement of soft pink flowers wrapped neatly together. The colors looked gentle against the black graduation robe draped over his shoulders. Somehow, the bouquet felt very Shinyu. Simple, clean, but thoughtful in a way that quietly lingered.

When Dohoon looked back up, reality finally settled back into place. Shinyu’s tired eyes, the office clothes, and the faint exhaustion still visible on his face despite the smile. Guilt immediately crept into Dohoon’s chest.

“You really look like you came straight from work,” Dohoon said, concern slipping naturally into his voice. “I will not keep you here for too long. You should head home and rest.”

Before Shinyu could even respond, Dohoon’s father suddenly spoke from beside them.

“But I already invited him to dinner with us.”

Dohoon turned so quickly toward his father that his graduation robe nearly slipped off his shoulder.

“Dad,” he said in disbelief, eyebrows furrowing immediately, “Shinyu hyung is probably exhausted. Look at him.”

The moment the words left his mouth, Dohoon noticed the expressions on his family’s faces.

His mother, father, and grandmother were all looking at Shinyu with identical smiles that instantly made Dohoon suspicious.

“I’m honestly surprised you managed to hide such a fine young man from us,” his mother commented while looking Shinyu up and down approvingly. “I always thought you would brag if someone like Junghwan was around.”

Dohoon felt heat rush violently to his face.

His ears burned almost instantly as panic shot through him. He stared at his mother in horror before quickly turning toward Shinyu, terrified that he might misunderstand the entire situation.

“I didn’t tell them anything,” Dohoon blurted out immediately, words tumbling over each other in his rush to defend himself. “Seriously, hyung, I never said anything like that.”

His grandmother only laughed harder at his reaction, while his father looked far too entertained.

Meanwhile, Dohoon could barely even breathe from embarrassment.

He glanced around frantically before looking back at Shinyu again, voice dropping slightly in desperation.

“Can we talk somewhere else for a second?”

Before Shinyu could even form a response, Dohoon acted on instinct rather than thought.

The bouquet was carefully pressed into his mother’s hands, who immediately looked pleased as if she had just been handed something far more meaningful than flowers. At the same time, Dohoon’s other hand shot out and wrapped firmly around Shinyu’s wrist. His grip was quick, slightly urgent, and before anyone could say another word, he was already pulling Shinyu away from the crowd of his family.

He didn’t look back to check their expressions. He could already imagine his grandmother smiling like she was watching a drama unfold in real life, and his mother preparing a thousand questions for later. That alone was enough reason to escape.

They walked quickly across the campus grounds, weaving past groups of graduates taking photos and families calling out names. Dohoon only stopped once they were far enough that the noise of his family faded into background chatter. The air felt slightly cooler here, less suffocating, but his chest still felt tight from embarrassment and adrenaline.

He finally let go of Shinyu’s wrist and turned to face him, immediately rubbing the back of his neck as if that could somehow fix what just happened.

“I’m sorry for dragging you away like that,” Dohoon started quickly, voice a little rushed. His ears were still red, and he knew it, which only made him more aware of how flustered he looked. “My family just… they say things without thinking. I really hope they didn’t make anything awkward between us. I swear! I never told them anything about you being my anything.”

The last part came out slightly panicked, as if he needed to erase any misunderstanding before it grew roots.

Shinyu, however, was not reacting the way Dohoon expected. Instead of looking confused or uncomfortable, he just stared at Dohoon with an expression that slowly curved into something closer to amusement. There was a faint grin tugging at his lips, like he was enjoying the chaos rather than suffering through it.

That made Dohoon even more flustered.

“Are you seriously enjoying this?!” Dohoon blurted out, pushing lightly at Shinyu’s chest in frustration. The gesture lacked real force, but it gave him an outlet for the embarrassment bubbling in him. “Just… Just forget everything they said, okay?! You don’t have to come to dinner later. You should go home and rest instead. I will explain to them that you’re just my friend… nothing more.”

He took a breath, trying to steady himself, but Shinyu only let out a soft chuckle in response.

“It would be rude if I just left,” Shinyu said calmly, still looking far too entertained for someone who was supposedly being dragged into an unexpected family situation. “Your parents invited me.”

“No,” Dohoon insisted immediately, shaking his head. “It’s fine. I can handle it. I’ll just tell them you’re tired and had to leave early.”

Shinyu tilted his head slightly, watching him with quiet focus before speaking again.

“I also want to gain points from them,” he said casually, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. “You know… so they’d approve of me for you.”

Dohoon froze.

His brain took a moment to process the words properly, and when it did, his heartbeat jumped so sharply it almost felt painful.

“Huh?” Dohoon said, voice noticeably softer now, almost uncertain. “What do you mean by that?”

Shinyu rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly looking a little less composed than before. The faint grin remained, but there was something more careful behind it now, something vulnerable trying to surface through the confidence.

“I came here to apologize again,” Shinyu admitted. “And to explain something properly this time.”

Dohoon stopped moving entirely, eyes fixed on him.

“I’m sorry it took me more than a year to figure things out,” Shinyu continued. “Back then, I was confused about everything. About you, about myself, about what I felt or did not feel. So I kept observing. I kept trying to understand without saying anything clearly.”

Dohoon felt his chest tighten at the honesty in his voice.

Shinyu exhaled slowly, as if gathering everything he had been holding back for a long time.

“And while I was doing that,” he said, voice softer now, “I became certain about one thing.”

Dohoon barely blinked.

Shinyu looked at him properly now, no teasing left in his expression, only sincerity.

“If I asked you right now to let me come back into your life properly,” Shinyu said carefully, “and if I asked if I can court you this time, would you consider it?”

The words hit Dohoon so suddenly that his entire body seemed to forget how to respond. His mouth opened slightly, but nothing came out. His fingers trembled faintly at his sides, and he could feel warmth spreading to his ears and the back of his neck. His vision blurred just a little, not enough to stop him from seeing Shinyu clearly, but enough to make him aware that something inside him was breaking open in the gentlest way possible.

Shinyu noticed immediately.

The small confidence he carried earlier cracked slightly.

“I—” Shinyu started again, but stopped when Dohoon suddenly stepped forward.

Without giving himself another second to think it through, Dohoon moved forward and closed the space between them. His arms wrapped around Shinyu with a firmness that surprised even him, as if he loosened even a little, he might lose the courage to stay this close. His face instinctively buried into the side of Shinyu’s neck, the warmth there grounding him in a way his thoughts no longer could. It also hid the expression he knew he would not be able to control if Shinyu saw it.

His voice came out muffled against Shinyu’s collar, slightly uneven as he finally let the words spill out.

“How could I not?” Dohoon said, his grip tightening for a brief moment as his honesty slipped past his usual restraint. “When I… when I kept hoping, even while telling myself I shouldn’t, that you wouldn’t end up choosing someone else.”

There was a pause, small and heavy in its own quiet way.

Then Shinyu exhaled a soft laugh, not teasing, not dismissive, but something warmer, almost relieved as if the tension he carried finally found somewhere to settle.

His arms moved around Dohoon in return, steady and sure, pulling him in like confirming this was real and not something fragile that could disappear if he blinked too long. One hand lifted slowly, settling at the back of Dohoon’s head, fingers pressing gently into his hair in a careful, grounding motion.

“We’re probably both a bit selfish then,” Shinyu said softly, voice closer now, calmer in a way that matched the slow rhythm of his breathing. “Because I kept wishing for the same thing too.”

Dohoon let out a small sound that didn’t fully decide whether it was a laugh or a breath he forgot to release. He stayed exactly where he was, not ready to move away yet, not wanting to break the moment that finally felt like it was holding instead of slipping.

Shinyu continued after a brief pause, his tone softer, more honest than anything he had said before.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, hand still resting gently against Dohoon’s head as if afraid letting go would undo everything. “For not closing things off completely. I’m going to make sure I don’t waste this chance. I’ll make it worth it for you.”

Dohoon only hummed in response, the sound low and faint against Shinyu’s shoulder, still holding on like he needed a second longer to believe all of it was actually happening.

A few seconds passed like that, quiet and steady, the kind of silence that did not feel empty anymore.

Then Dohoon finally pulled back just enough to see Shinyu’s face again. His eyes still looked slightly glossy, lingering traces of emotion he was not trying to hide anymore, but there was something softer there too, something that looked like relief finally finding a place to land. A faint smile was already forming on his lips.

“You’re still going to that dinner, though,” Dohoon said suddenly, as if reminding himself of something important before the moment could drift too far.

Shinyu blinked, caught off guard for a second.

Dohoon did not let go of him fully, still holding onto the sleeve of his jacket as if that alone would guarantee he stayed.

“My parents invited you,” Dohoon added, his voice a little steadier now, though his expression remained earnest. “And now that we’re… we… us… I can’t just tell them you’re not coming anymore.”

Shinyu stared at him for a brief moment before letting out a quiet laugh, head tilting slightly as if he could not believe the situation he ended up in.

“Don’t worry,” Shinyu said, a hint of amusement returning, “they seemed to like me a lot earlier. You were too busy taking photos that they were able to ask me questions.”

“What? What did they ask you?! I hope you didn’t tell them that we were… yknow…”

That earned another soft laugh from Shinyu, who shook his head slightly in disbelief, though his smile only grew wider instead of fading.

“Dohoon-ah,” he said, voice carrying a fond exasperation now, “I told them we were dormmates before. You don’t have to worry.”

Dohoon finally let his own smile settle fully, no longer hiding it or trying to control how it showed.

“They’d probably ask you more later,” he replied.

Shinyu stepped a little closer again, lowering his voice like he was sharing something only meant for the two of them.

“Then I should probably behave properly tonight,” he said.

Dohoon raised an eyebrow immediately, the familiarity of the tone already warning him of trouble.

“Good luck with that,” Dohoon said, expression turning faintly amused. “My grandmother already decided she likes you more than me.”

Shinyu let out a quiet laugh, reaching out to lightly tap Dohoon’s forehead as if that alone explained everything wrong with the situation.

“Then I guess I will have to survive interrogation,” he said.

Dohoon hummed, leaning into the touch slightly without even noticing he was doing it, the tension in his body easing just a little.

“Just don’t say anything strange,” he warned, though there was no real firmness left in his voice.

Shinyu smiled, eyes warm as he looked at him.

“I can’t promise you that,” he replied.

Dohoon let out a long, exaggerated sigh, though it lacked any real frustration now.

He then gave a small, helpless smile and murmured, “So this is what it feels like to win something I already lost.”