Chapter Text
I.
The first time Niles meets Takumi, they're just boys.
Niles has only just been taken out of the children's home by Garon, whom he will come to see as his father, in a sense, as time goes on. He and Corrin had come as a package deal; neither of them were willing to be adopted without the other.
Other than her, Niles doesn't know any of the people surrounding him now, not really. He recognizes his new siblings, whom he's spent the past few days with. Xander is his new eldest brother, Camilla his new older sister, Leo his new little brother.
(There's a woman, older than Xander but not by much—yet significantly younger than Garon—with blonde curls and tired eyes and a belly swollen with their soon-to-be baby sister. Nobody talks to or about her. When Niles looks back on these years, he'll have trouble recalling if anyone ever even mentioned her name to him.)
And the members of the Shirasagi family, who are all currently piling into Manor Krakenburg and showering Niles and his siblings with gifts, are meant to be his new friends.
At the time, Takumi is the youngest in his family like Leo is in his. He's shy and quiet, though not so much as time goes on and he and Leo, who are the best of friends, re-familiarize themselves with each other. His parents still dress him in blouses and mary janes and call him by a different name. Leo is the only one who knows his real name, and because Niles is close with Leo (at least, age-wise), Niles gets to know his real name, too.
Niles sticks to Leo because he's really not sure where else to go. Corrin had attached herself to Xander's side the moment they met, perhaps glad to have finally met someone more like an older brother to her than Niles ever was.
He mostly stands by the door and watches Leo and Takumi play. Or rather, watches as Leo shows off the new puzzle book he's just gotten and Takumi begs to try some of them.
Takumi glances up shyly at Niles every once in a while, brown eyes wide with curiosity and freckled cheeks dusted pink, until he finally whispers something into Leo's ear. When Leo's gaze drifts over towards Niles, he shrugs and beckons Niles over, a silent invitation to join them.
Niles thinks puzzles are a waste of time, though that must be because he's a couple years older than them. But more than that, the fact that they want him there at all makes his chest bloom with an odd warmth that persists through the years that follow.
II.
Growing up in the Windmire family is an experience that would be…difficult to replicate in any other household, to say the least. Even as a child, Niles can tell they're anything but ordinary.
Still, he's happier than he ever was at the children's home, and in fact he never thought he'd have the opportunity to live like he does in Manor Krakenburg. The Windmire siblings don't seem to mind sharing their massive wealth with him and Corrin, nor do they ever treat them as anything but family.
Nobody ever teases Niles about the sunken socket of his right eye, nor Corrin for her ghostly palor and the ruddy hue of her irises, her inability to stay in the sun for much longer than a few minutes at a time without turning bright red.
Instead, Niles gets everything he needs and a great deal of things he doesn't, from food to books to piles and piles of clothing. Xander buys him a smartphone—the single most expensive object he's ever touched—when he turns 12.
More importantly, Corrin's needs are always met. On the day they moved in, her closet was already stocked to the brim with expensive sunscreens, densely woven and color-saturated clothing, and hats with enormous brims. Camilla gifts her a new pair of designer sunglasses every other week.
An old man waits on them, attending to each of their requests, and under his tutelage is a boy around Corrin's age. Niles alone used to be responsible for both him and Corrin, and no one else. Now, no one will allow him to lift a finger, to expend any amount of effort or experience even a modicum of discomfort.
But there are rules, of course. And they're rather different from the rules at the children's home (elbows off the tables, no talking during mealtimes, ten minutes in the corner for every chore left undone). They're unspoken, but quickly learned, and chief amongst them is that their father must never, under any circumstances, be disobeyed.
Though Garon is almost never home, his presence is constantly felt throughout the manor. Hand-painted portraits of him and his predecessors line the hall housing all of the siblings' bedrooms, eyes wide and watching. Every piece of gothic furniture, every morose wallpaper pattern, every dark garment in the linen closet was chosen according to his liking, his taste.
He's Xander's boss at work, and he determines which projects Xander will be working on, who he works with, when he comes home from the office. He decides which schools each of the siblings will attend, down to what manner of graduate degree Camilla will be pursuing in the coming years.
He's even decided everything for infant Elise, and never does he make any mention of her mother who had died in childbirth, still nameless and destined to be forgotten.
And when Corrin, Niles, and still-young Leo think to protest, or even just to question, Xander and Camilla just grip them by the arm and shake their heads minutely.
Don't.
Niles listens, because an absent yet overbearing father is probably still an improvement over no father at all.
He listens to his siblings, too, learning and accepting the little unspoken rules they live by. Xander is kind and weary and soft-spoken at home, but Niles must never embarrass him in public. Camilla, who entrusts the care of their younger siblings to Niles when she becomes busy with school, expects him to smother them with all the adoration and devotion she's invested into him.
And as for Leo…
Takumi, the brown-eyed, freckled boy who always gravitates towards the two of them at every chance their families come together—
Takumi will always be Leo's.
That's what Niles comes to believe, at least, as they grow up together. It wasn't so obvious at first, when they only saw each other a few times a year.
But when they all start attending the same boarding school, it becomes all Niles can see. Takumi spends every free moment he has, it seems, seeking Leo out. They eat in the dining hall, do their homework, and study for exams together—attached at the hip, as everyone around them starts saying.
Niles is always there, though he doesn't necessarily ask to be included. It's just become typical for Leo to have him around; when he doesn't, Takumi will ask about Niles anyway. He's fond of Niles, curious about him because he's new and different. Perhaps he sees him as an extension of Leo, or as the brother who's always there.
At some point, though, Niles starts feeling suspiciously like the third wheel. He's not blind to the way Takumi blushes when Leo smiles at him, the way he fidgets nervously with the ends of his hair under Leo's gaze. And Leo is undeniably fond of Takumi, too. When they talk, it seems like they forget the rest of the world is there—sometimes including Niles.
But Niles doesn't mind that Takumi is Leo's. That's just how it will always be, he foolishly believes.
III.
It's only when Garon falls ill that Niles finds the courage to finally ask the question that's been sitting in the back of his mind since the day he first stepped over the threshold of Manor Krakenburg.
He doesn't ask Garon, who's holed up in the master bedroom. That will never be an option. In the years that Niles has been his son, he's hardly spoken to him more than a handful of times.
He instead asks Camilla while they're having lunch with Corrin on a spring break. Leo's run off to find other friends to spend time with, but Corrin had begged Niles to hang around for a while. They hardly ever see each other now that Niles is away for school, since Corrin wasn't allowed to attend the same academy. Camilla couldn't bear to let her be so far away from home for so many years.
Camilla's been reminiscing about…well, everything, from her first memories of her mother and Xander, to Leo's birth, to the day Garon had announced to them quite suddenly that the Windmire family would be growing by two. It's her way of coping, he thinks, in the face of inevitable loss.
Niles isn't sure if he's meant to feel as sad as she seems. He can't seem to feel anything at all, except for that burning curiosity.
"Why?" he asks.
"Sorry?" Camilla asks in return, taken aback by his interruption.
"What made him choose us?" Niles clarifies, and Corrin's head perks up just slightly, her attention now drawn fully towards the conversation.
"Hm." Camilla puts a finger on her chin and taps once, brows raised in genuine perplexity like she never expected Niles to ask such a thing. "I suppose it was faster."
Corrin blinks owlishly, eyes huge beneath the brim of her hat. "…Faster?"
"Faster than marrying again. Father always had terrible luck finding a partner who's right for the family, especially as the years went by. I suppose he could sense he was running out of time," Camilla says with a rather out-of-character shrug. "There are roles at the company that he only trusts family to fill."
The candidness with which Camilla delivers this revelation stuns both Niles and Corrin into momentary silence. Gentle, adoring Camilla who has been unfailingly kind to everyone everyone her, who quietly did her utmost to ensure the comfort of Elise's mother, who was not her own, until her final days and then proceeded to almost single-handedly raise Elise with all the care and love in the world…
That Camilla, talking about the women who have lived with the Windmire family, borne children for the family and, at worst, died in the family, as though they were mere means to an end, tools for the sole purpose of furthering her father's ambitions.
When Niles glances towards Corrin, she looks stricken. Having been protected all her life, even at the children's home, she's probably having trouble even fathoming a reality where Garon didn't adopt them simply out of compassion, where he didn't sacrifice the money and effort and resources to raise them simply out of love.
It makes him slightly regret asking in front of her, but he wanted her to know.
And he's starting to understand now, too, why Xander is so stern and attentive, constantly spreading himself thin between working and managing all of his siblings' studies and discipline. Why Camilla smothers them with attention and affection and is so fiercely protective of them it borders on frightening.
All those years, they made carrying the burden of that knowledge look so easy.
Late that night, Niles pads into the living room to find Corrin already curled up on one end of the couch, staring listlessly into the dark.
He sits down quietly at her side and lets her melt against him. They had moments like these at the children's home, too—sleepless and uncertain. But in all honesty, this isn't so bad. It's not news that Garon had expectations for them.
"You all right?" Niles asks after well over an hour has passed. His shoulder is sore and his feet are asleep, but he still doesn't feel tired enough to go back to bed. Distantly, he thinks he hears the periodic wheeze of Garon's labored breathing floating through the halls.
"Yeah," Corrin replies, though it's hard to tell what she's really thinking. "I think we're gonna be okay."
IV.
Niles returns home from his first year at university to witness Leo break Takumi's heart in real time.
He pauses at the top of his stairs when he hears their voices, hushed and uncharacteristically serious. Curiosity (nosiness) sparks, and he sidles up against the wall, out of sight.
Leo and Takumi are in the hall around the corner, just in front of Leo's room, entirely oblivious to Niles's presence. They're focused only on each other.
"I'm sorry," Leo is telling Takumi softly. "I just don't…I'm sorry. Please don't--"
"It's not your fault," Takumi says, though it comes out more like a whimper. He's not crying, but his voice is thick and his breath stutters. "I just feel so stupid."
"Don't," Leo pleads with him. "I still care about you. A lot. I just, um…don't really feel…you know."
"I get it." Takumi sniffles, then takes in a deep breath like he's steadying himself to the best of his ability. Like he hasn't just been emotionally eviscerated. "It's all right."
"Still friends?" Leo asks softly, earnest and a little scared. "You know I can't live without you, right?"
Takumi utters a choked sound, completely crushed. "Y-yeah. Of course."
Niles lets out a long, silent breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. A bizarre weight has settled into his chest, like something's fallen out of place.
There's a shuffle of footsteps, careful and a bit awkward, and then the rustle of clothes as they embrace.
"I'm sorry," Leo whispers, over and over like they're the only words he knows now. "I'm sorry."
Niles skulks back towards the living room, puts something random up on the TV, and scrolls mindlessly on his phone.
When Takumi appears half an hour later, he's wearing his jacket. His eyes are dry, but his complexion is pale and his mouth is turned down into a despondent, probably subconscious frown. He looks so pathetic it makes Niles's heart ache and, for some reason, his mouth dry.
"Oh." Takumi pauses when he sees Niles. "I didn't know you were back."
"I just got in," Niles lies.
Takumi nods, averting his gaze. He purses his lips like that will disguise the utter dejection in his expression.
"You heading home?" Niles asks, pretending like he doesn't know a thing. It's the first time they've seen each other in several months. "I'll take you."
"I can just take the train," Takumi mumbles. He says it every time someone offers to drive him home.
"It's late," Niles insists like he does every time, and so they end up in his car.
When Niles got his license, Takumi and Leo used to bicker over who would ride shotgun—mostly because Leo hated the lack of legroom in the back, and Takumi hated sitting alone. Takumi has every opportunity now to take the passenger seat, but he ends up in the back instead, chin propped in his hand while he stares blankly out the window.
"Leo usually comes along," Niles remarks. In fact, Leo typically insists on accompanying Takumi on the drive back, no matter who's taking him. Inseparable to the last moment.
"He's tired," is all Takumi says. "You probably are, too. From the drive down."
"I'm all right." Niles is a little tired, but he wasn't about to let Takumi spend all night on the train home alone. Regardless of the current circumstances, Leo would kill him for it.
They've just about turned into his neighborhood when Takumi starts sniffling and can't seem to stop.
"Sorry," he says before Niles can ask him about it. "Allergies."
Wordlessly, Niles grabs the tissue pack from his dashboard and hands it back to Takumi.
By the time Niles has parked on the curb in front of Takumi's home, Takumi is trembling in the seat, his entire body racked with poorly contained sobs.
Again, Niles doesn't say anything as he switches the engine off, hauls himself out of the driver's seat, and joins Takumi in the back. When he wraps his arms around Takumi, Takumi collapses into him in a pile of tears and broken whimpering.
Niles doesn't think he's ever held anything or anyone so tightly in his life.
What feels like hours pass before Takumi has managed to calm down. Niles would have sat there all night with him if it came to that.
"Hey," Niles says softly, running his hand soothingly along the length of Takumi's back.
"I'm all right," Takumi tells him, face still buried in Niles's chest. His voice, tiny as it is, resonates through the echo chamber of Niles's ribcage and bounces against his heart.
"You want to talk about it?"
Takumi shakes his head, adamant. Embarrassed.
"Let's get you inside." Niles takes Takumi's hand and leads him up the walkway of his home, then waits at the porch for Takumi to dig out the keys to his front door.
"Thanks for driving me all the way home," Takumi tells him, blinking a few stray tears out of his lashes.
"It's no trouble," Niles says. "Not for you."
Pink blooms in Takumi's cheeks, and Niles finds himself blindsided by how mesmerizing he finds that, to the point where he nearly misses what Takumi tells him next.
"…stay the night and get some rest," he's saying. "You can go back tomorrow."
That's not an unusual invitation. Their families are close enough that it's actually normal for someone to spontaneously spend a night or two at the other's place when the timing is right. Takumi probably would have slept in Leo's room tonight if things hadn't gone down the way they did.
Niles follows Takumi into the house, where it's dark and quiet. Everyone's likely in bed already.
After a shower, Takumi looks a little more fresh-faced, though the red rimming along his eyes is still quite prominent. Typically, he would have pulled out a futon and laid it out on the floor of his bedroom for Niles, but he hasn't done so tonight.
He also doesn't say anything as Niles simply crawls into his bed and takes up the far end to leave room for him. When Takumi joins him, Niles pulls him back into his arms and buries his nose into lavender-scented hair. Takumi's been using the same shampoo since they were children.
They used to do this when they were children, too. When Takumi was so young and curious and attached to Niles, he would always wriggle his way into Niles's space during their little sleepovers and curl up against him, eager for his attention and affection.
"Sorry again," Takumi mumbles now, his fingers tangled in the back of Niles's shirt. It's one of Ryoma's old shirts, stuff they keep in the linen closet for when someone stays over unplanned. "You don't even know what's going on and I just broke down on you."
Imagining that it will spare Takumi the embarrassment, Niles allows him to believe so. He brings a hand up to rest against the top of Takumi's head and run his fingers gently along his scalp. Then, because it feels right, he pushes a soft kiss to Takumi's forehead.
Once, when Niles was twelve and he was nine, Takumi had found Niles curled up alone in the basement of Manor Krakenburg during a dinner between the two families, crying silent tears of abject terror. It was the night before Niles was meant to leave for boarding school, and at the time he believed he was being sent away as a punishment, that he was being separated from Corrin for some reason. They'd never been without each other for more than a few hours at a time.
Niles hadn't done anything to warrant such a thing, as far as he knew. He had a mischievous streak, and at times his manner of speaking embarrassed his surrogate family, but he'd never outright disobeyed Garon. He'd never dared to.
Shocked as he was to see Niles crying for what might have been the first time since they met, Takumi didn't ridicule or so much as tease him for it. He'd simply knelt down next to him, used the corner of his own sleeve to wipe Niles's tears away, and kissed him sweetly on the cheek.
Niles does the same for Takumi now, a light press of his lips against the apple of Takumi's cheek. And then another on the tip of his nose, which pulls a light giggle out of Takumi.
"Thanks," Takumi tells him, expression lightening, though his eyes remain sad. "I feel a lot better now."
Niles pulls him back in and, because he's found that he quite likes the feeling, lets Takumi once again burrow his face into his chest.
"You're gonna be okay," he promises Takumi.
V.
Summers pass.
Garon gets sicker but continues to cling to life, perhaps still plagued with unfinished business. Xander becomes his office liaison, working at his side at home and then taking his directives to disperse at the office before reporting back to him.
He also becomes the only person Garon cares to see. Garon doesn't summon any of his other children or leave any messages with them.
But he's still very much heard. Wet, racking coughs rattle constantly throughout the halls, waking them from their sleep and following them wherever they go in the house. During the few moments of silence Niles has in the day, he still hears it echoing in his ears. He imagines he'll continue to hear them long after Garon is gone, too.
Corrin seems to be the only one who can tolerate the noise, sticking to Xander's side when he comes home and following him to his room after long, weary days.
Desperate to be out of the house, Niles grows accustomed to seeking Takumi out during the brightest, most sweltering days. Leo joins them in the beginning, but when he starts attending university he throws himself into his studies, sacrificing his breaks to attend additional classes and chase internships. Niles wonders if it has anything to do with the uncomfortable guilt Leo always holds in the curve of his shoulders when he's around Takumi now.
Takumi is busy, too, but somehow always manages to make time for Niles.
He never told Niles what happened that day, but Niles doesn't care to pull it out of him. He'll talk about it when he's ready, and if he never is, well…it's still his own business and no one else's.
They spend their time on the more pleasant things in life, like matinee movie outings and gelato from the place they've been going to for as long as they can remember. And more recently, visits to the beach.
The first time Takumi tugs his shirt off, bashful and a little unsure beneath the scorching gaze of the sun, Niles feels something unfamiliar stir within.
It's not what he sees that makes Niles's insides shift oddly, as though all of his organs are making way for something new. It's not the captivating softness of Takumi's torso, or the warm glow of his olive skin against the sandy backdrop.
It's the trust in his eyes as he watches Niles, gaze searching and teeth worrying on his bottom lip.
"You don't have to stare so hard," Takumi mumbles, raising his arms self-consciously towards his chest.
Niles catches Takumi's hands in his, stopping him gently. "You look amazing," he says. "Thanks for sharing this with me."
The reaction is almost instantaneous. Like ink bleeding through paper, red blooms in Takumi's cheeks.
"…Whatever," Takumi mutters, lashes fluttering. They catch the light in the most charming way in the middle of the day like this. "Are we going in or not?"
At that, Niles grins and yanks off his own shirt. He would tease Takumi for staring just as hard in return, but the opportunity is lost when Takumi takes his hand, a motion made natural as breathing through years of repetition, and ushers him eagerly towards the water.
That night, they lie together on the pull-out couch in the living room of the Shirasagi family's beach house, talking quietly. They could sleep in any one of the other rooms in the house, but the living room offers the most relief against the muggy evening heat, especially with the windows open.
Niles hadn't bothered to put his patch back on his eye after showering. It felt a little gritty with sand, despite his best efforts—that's just how it is with the beach. Takumi even helped him earlier, sweeping gently around the lid with a soft towel, but they'd given up after Niles declared he would be fine.
"There's probably something you could find to make it easier," Takumi says, brushing the pad of his finger around the edge of Niles's empty eye socket. He hasn't given up after all, still fussing over every grain of sand and salt he manages to find. "Like...one half of a pair of goggles or something. That's gotta be a thing."
Niles cocks an eyebrow. "I can't imagine that looking anything other than extremely stupid."
Takumi snickers at that. "I'd pay to see it."
"And I'd happily humiliate myself for your benefit," Niles tells him, meaning every word of it.
Mistaking it for a joke, Takumi simply rolls his eyes and moves on. His finger drifts down to run softly across Niles's lashes, feather-light and a little bit ticklish. "Did I ever tell you I'm jealous of how white your lashes are?"
That's news to Niles. "Why would you be?"
"I mean, they're long, too. I just think they're really nice." Takumi's finger continues its journey down the line of Niles's nose, then across the cut of his cheekbone. His gaze follows intently along the path, unwilling (or perhaps unable) to meet Niles's.
Niles's own fingers itch, and he gives in to the urge to run them in return over the galaxy of freckles dotting Takumi's sun-kissed cheeks. "I ever tell you I can see the universe in you from here?"
Takumi's touch pauses as his lips part in a quiet gasp, like he'd never imagined the possibility that Niles adores him just as much in turn.
Outside, they can hear the crash of the waves against the sand, spurred by the moon as she ascends to the height of her nightly throne. Evening air cruises in through the windows, cool and moist against their skin, carrying on it the same salt that lingers still on their tongues.
Takumi fans his fingers along the line of Niles's jaw, cradling his face in a warm hand. When he leans forward, Niles meets him halfway.
Their lips touch, soft and sweet, and then there's that shift inside Niles again, an insistent push against the arrangement of those core parts of him: Takumi, nudging his way in to lodge himself into the space between Niles's ribs.
When Takumi pulls back, he's looking away already. "…Was that okay?" he asks like he can't tell he already has Niles helplessly and hopelessly in the palm of his hand.
Without bothering to reply, Niles simply chases him for another kiss, and then another after that, and Takumi doesn't protest as Niles dips his hands beneath his tee to roam across bare, heated skin.
He lets Niles touch and pet him all night, lets him murmur sweet praise against his lips until the delirium of the summer heat overtakes both of them, and they fall asleep to the sound of the ocean grasping at the shore.
Summer is never the same after that, and Niles wouldn't have it any other way.
VI.
On the night before he passes away, Garon calls his children to his side. The timing is eerie, and they will all suspect later that he must have known somehow, though no one dares to say it aloud. But Niles has been in this family long enough to know what his siblings are thinking.
Once Garon is gone, the company won't last much longer afterwards, reluctant as he was to relinquish control to anyone but his children, none of whom were ready except for Xander. Garon gives them a mandate—well, he gives Xander a mandate. One last bid to keep everything afloat, something only Xander can do. Niles doesn't envy him.
Not until the final words leave Garon's mouth.
The shock leaves all of them speechless, but only for a moment. Despite the weakness in his voice from the illness--the way he struggles to keep his eyes open and his breathing even—Garon's mind is still very much intact, and his priorities are straight. Everything he's saying technically makes sense, and it's obvious that he's been thinking about this for a long time, even longer than he's been sick.
Xander recovers first.
"I understand," he tells Garon while everyone else is still struggling to process the consequences of this decision. "I'll see it done."
"No," Corrin protests weakly, voice shaking and eyes wet, but nobody seems to be able to hear her. Not in front of Father.
Xander sends his proposal, a handwritten letter addressed to the entirety of the Shirasagi family, the next morning.
Then, he begins funeral preparations.
Leo is inconsolable at the funeral. He manages to keep it together until the viewing, at which point he bursts into shattered wailing and refuses to move away from the coffin, gripping the edge of it like he's holding on for dear life. He never once professed to loving Garon, but he's never known a life without him, either.
No one can seem to calm him except Takumi, who wraps his arms around Leo and holds him tightly, murmuring softly into his ear as though to comfort a child. With all the patience in the world, Takumi gently pries Leo's fingers off the coffin one by one, then turns him away and leads him slowly to a corner of the room, where he continues to lull Leo until his sobbing peters off into quiet, more contained sniffles.
Niles, having already seen his adoptive father one last time, simply stays where he is and stares at Xander staring at Takumi.
The Shirasagi family had sent their reply to Xander's proposal with a similarly handwritten letter the week prior. As the Windmire siblings suspected, the patriarchs of both families have likely been in talks for some time now.
Sumeragi himself stands now in front of Garon's coffin, solemn and somber. He's much more fit for his age than Garon ever was, but the time he's lived still shows in the gray streaks running through his brown hair and the thinness of the skin around his knuckles. He places one last white lily upon Garon's cold, stiff chest.
After the coffin has been sealed, Sumeragi strides over to the Windmires, grasps Xander's hands in his, and pulls him into a tight hug that audibly knocks the air out of Xander.
"You let me know if you need anything at all," Sumeragi tells him, eyes wet and nose red. Niles never imagined he would see the man cry in his lifetime. "We're family. We always were, but it will be official soon."
Xander blanches at that, and from next to him Camilla smiles pleasantly, but her grip on his fingers is so hard Niles is pretty sure everyone can hear his bones creak in protest. Conversely, Elise's hand is so limp in Niles's he worries she might be feeling faint, and he pulls her into his side with an arm around her shoulders.
Corrin couldn't make it. She's been immovable and inconsolable all week, hardly able to leave her room.
"Thank you," Xander manages to croak out despite himself. "I appreciate everything you've done for us, Sumeragi."
"Don't thank me yet," Sumeragi warns him, though his eyes glint with mirth. "My boy's got a stubborn streak, and you'll have a hell of a time reigning him in."
Niles can't help the way his gaze drifts over towards the other side of the room again, where Ryoma and his wife Scarlet have joined Leo and Takumi. They sit huddled together, murmuring quietly amongst themselves. Takumi grips Leo's hand in his, and Leo leans heavily against Takumi, his head resting on Takumi's shoulder. He looks like he could be asleep.
"Ow," Elise whispers, staring up at Niles, and he realizes he's been squishing the breath out of her. He forgets how small she is sometimes.
"I'm sorry," Niles murmurs, loosening his hold and rubbing her arm soothingly.
Elise puts a hand over his. Her fingers are cold, but her grip is sure and comforting. "How are you doing?"
Niles lets out a quiet sigh. "I'm gonna be okay," he says, and hopes it sounds more convincing than it feels.
VII.
They all tell Xander he doesn't have to go through with it.
There are other ways to complete the merger and keep the company alive, which is true. But Xander is adamant, because there's only one way to ensure that he stays in control of it.
That, no one can deny.
The wedding is scheduled for a nice spring day, just two months after Garon's funeral. The planning is quiet and mostly goes on in the background. Xander has relegated almost the entirety of it to a third party, busy as he is with all of the restructuring going on at the company.
But he booked an expensive venue, and he paid the planner good money to make it about as extravagant as they're used to (so says Camilla). Corrin, too, has played a big part in making it an event to remember. She's back in high spirits, flitting back and forth between home and the venue like a busy bee, like it could be her own wedding.
Xander has likely promised her something, though no one's in the mood to guess what it could be.
And so it's a beautiful wedding, small as it is with just the Windmire and Shirasagi families present, as well as some company executives from both sides who were invited mostly out of obligation.
The ceremony is conducted amongst the elegant, low-hanging wisteria branches in the Hoshidan-style garden of a classy, downtown restaurant. When Xander's groom arrives at the foot of the aisle, everyone gasps in awe.
Takumi is dressed in a blend of modern and traditional Hoshidan wedding garb with a floor-length silken coat of vivid dyes and masterful embroidering, fitted to his waist and draping over his legs. The sleeves are wide as a kimono's, and underneath he wears a white blouse and matching dress pants that flair slightly at the ankle. His hair is so intricately pinned and woven it's hard to tell what exactly going on, only that it's clear much time has been spent on it, his bangs left down to frame his eyes.
He walks slowly but steadily on tall, ceremonial geta, his arm held securely in his father's. Sumeragi looks like he's experiencing the proudest day of his life.
Eyes glued to the ground and mouth pressed into a vain attempt at neutrality, Takumi looks like he's being led to the guillotine.
The vows are generic, short, and to the point, and the officiant doesn't know much about either party so he keeps it simple, too.
Niles finds himself staring into the distant horizon when the kiss happens. The applause is polite, and a few folks cheer. Neither of the grooms seems to be able to look the other in the eye.
But truly, a beautiful affair.
It's a shame that one of the grooms has to leave before the dinner's concluded.
Xander shuffles out through the back, still dressed in his pristine white tux, citing something that's come up at the office and simply must be attended to. Everyone notices them leave, a couple of company executives trailing him and Corrin hanging off his arm, but nobody says anything.
All attention falls to Takumi, who's left on his own to entertain until close to midnight, when most of the guests have gone home.
It's only then that Niles finally gets the opportunity to talk to him. He finds Takumi seated on a bench in the parking lot of the venue, staring blankly into the dark of the night. For the dinner, he'd changed into a half-caped teal blazer with a cream blouse underneath, and his hair is still held securely in the impeccable braid crown Camilla had woven for him after the ceremony. He looks ethereal, almost seeming to glow beneath the dim, warm lamplight.
But he seems a little cold, arms wrapped around himself and shivering slightly against the breeze.
He smiles up at Niles, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes, when Niles comes to sit next to him.
"I'll take you to the hotel," Niles tells him. He shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over Takumi's shoulders. He would hate for Takumi to catch something on his wedding night.
"I figured he'd be back by now," Takumi mumbles.
A little guiltily, Niles pulls a set of keys out of his pocket to show Takumi. Xander had tucked them into Niles's hand as he left.
"…Right," Takumi says with a small sigh, resignation written in the pull of his expression.
The car used to be Garon's, though he'd given it to Xander as a graduation present. Of fine make, it bears the badging of one of the most high-end car companies in the world, with gorgeous leather seating and intricate, tasteful detailing all throughout. It's an old car, too, probably older than Niles himself is, but it's been kept in impeccable condition.
As far as Niles can tell, Xander has never driven it except to rather important events, and Niles himself has never so much as sat in its passenger seat—not because Xander didn't allow him to, but moreso because he never asked to.
Now, as he slides into the driver's seat and Takumi into the passenger's, he can't help but pause to take in the surreal sensation of the situation. This was probably meant to be Takumi's first ride with Xander as his husband.
The key slips into the ignition slot smoothly and turns with just the right amount of resistance to feel satisfying. For a moment, Niles imagines it was supposed to be him all along, delusional as he knows it is.
Takumi doesn't say anything on the short drive to the hotel, just holds Niles's jacket tight around himself and stares out the window.
It's quiet at the hotel when they arrive, the late hour lending to just a skeleton staff in the lobby, none of whom acknowledge them with anything other than a polite greeting.
Niles takes Takumi all the way up to his room, just to be thorough. He watches from the hall as Takumi steps through the door and pauses there for a few moments, staring in silent contemplation.
The room looks largely untouched, with just a single duffel bag and a small carry-on sized suitcase sitting in the corner, both still packed and tightly zipped.
Then:
"I'd like to go home, actually," Takumi decides aloud. He stoops to pick up the duffel bag, but then shakes his head when Niles moves to take the carry-on.
Niles recognizes it as Xander's, the same suitcase he takes with him on business trips. It's light, probably packed with just basic essentials and some clothes. He and Takumi were meant to be here for a couple of nights as a mini-honeymoon, to have a bit of privacy from their families.
"Leave it," Takumi says. "In case he wants to stay with…In case he wants to stay."
Takumi leaves his room card with the front on the way out, and has to assure the concierge that everything is fine before they let him go. The staff member behind the counter has on that classic customer-facing "sorry-to-see-you-go" frown. Takumi looks like he wishes they weren't having this conversation.
"Sorry," he tells Niles as they get back into the car. "Didn't think you'd still be stuck carting me around after all this time."
"No trouble at all," Niles reminds him. It will always be true.
"Home" for Takumi is Manor Krakenburg now, Niles realizes as he pulls out of the hotel's parking lot. In any other circumstances, Niles would probably have been delighted at the concept. Part of him still is, though it's dampened by the fact that Takumi probably isn't nearly as excited about it, if tonight is any indication of what the future holds for him.
Again, Takumi is silent during the drive. There are no tears, not even so much as a sniffle by the time Niles pulls into the garage, just an air of quiet acceptance as he toes off his nice dress shoes and trudges into the manor.
Takumi stops, frozen again, at the top of the stairs to the second floor. At the end of the hall sits Xander's room, where all of Takumi's things were moved in a few days ago. Niles wasn't around for that, though. For the past week, he's been apartment hunting a couple of cities away.
The ceiling light closest to the room is broken, casting a shadow over the end of the hall that makes it look miles longer than it actually is.
Takumi turns to Niles. "Can I stay in your room tonight?" he asks softly.
Niles wouldn't turn him down in a million years.
They sit on the edge of his bed together, and the first thing Niles does is help Takumi take his hair down, plucking out what seems like an infinite amount of bobby pins and a tightly wound elastic tie until the braid finally unravels with a rush of lavender and eucalyptus. He runs his fingers across Takumi's scalp, kneading the soreness away, before letting them glide down through soft locks. Takumi's hair has been crimped into charming waves from being held in shape for so long; when Niles comments on it, he blushes but doesn't say anything.
Takumi seems reluctant to relinquish Niles's jacket, but it's warm inside, so he lets Niles coax it out of his hands eventually. His own coat goes next, and then the blouse underneath. He doesn't protest as Niles lays him on his back to tug off his slacks, leaving him in nothing but a pair of white, lacy boyshorts.
Takumi blushes harder and mumbles something about it not being his idea, but Niles isn't fully paying attention. He's too distracted trying to decide whether to be wildly jealous that this was meant for Xander, or to be violently smug that he's the one who actually gets to see it.
Takumi helps Niles in turn with his suit, pushing his dusty pink coat off his shoulders and undoing the buttons of his cream-colored dress shirt. He folds each piece carefully, then places it all in a pile on Niles's nightstand, where Niles had placed his clothes. They look right, sitting next to each other, but Niles doesn't say anything about that.
They inevitably fall into each other, arms wound tight and lips relentlessly seeking each other. Niles finds himself unable to stop staring insistently into Takumi's eyes, waiting to see some of the profound loneliness in them thaw.
He's licked and nipped his way halfway down Takumi's torso when Takumi suddenly seems to remember he's a married man now.
"We probably shouldn't be doing this," Takumi tells him, even as he tangles his fingers into Niles's hair.
"Then tell me to stop," Niles challenges him, tongue already heavy with the rich salt of Takumi's skin. He knows it's unfair to put the onus on Takumi, but he also knows it may the last time he ever gets to have this, and he's too selfish to let that go.
And he knows Takumi well enough by now to know that he is, too. Still, Takumi hesitates, chewing on his lower lip. Dark, kiss-bruised flesh turns white beneath the pressure of his teeth.
Despite himself, Niles pities Takumi. "Do you want me to stop?" he prompts again, gentler.
Takumi's expression twists into a reluctant grimace. Perhaps unconsciously, he tightens his grip in Niles's curls. "No," he whispers.
A smile wends its way onto Niles's lips, then stamps itself onto the soft meat of Takumi's tummy as he scatters open-mouthed kisses there until the furrow in Takumi's brow smooths out, until there's nothing left on his face but the pure, honey-sweet adoration he's held for Niles since they were young.
The white lace of the boyshorts is soft beneath Niles's hands as he runs them over Takumi's hips, stroking along the same path he's followed dozens of times now. Takumi's breath hitches when Niles hooks a finger into the waistband, but he doesn't protest. The material is light and thin enough that all it takes is the gentles of tugs, and once Niles has buried his face in between Takumi's legs he can't bring himself to leave.
He spends as long as he can memorizing the taste of Takumi, drinking in the sound of every moan he draws out, letting the sensation of every pull on his hair and every touch against his cheek sear itself into his skin.
And when Takumi finally tugs him up and takes him in hand, stroking him until he sees stars, he stripes white all over Takumi's chest and face and imagines for a second that it's his right, that he's permanently and irrevocably marked Takumi as his.
Never mind that it's far too late for that now.
"I'm sorry," Niles breathes when he's come to his senses and sees the mess he's made of his brother's husband.
Wordlessly, Takumi just drags him down for one last kiss. Niles tastes the bitterness of his own release on the corner of his mouth and hopes selfishly that Takumi will remember it.
As they curl against each other and let a restless sleep take them, the last thing Niles will remember thinking is how perfect this night would have been with the touch of summer's warmth on their skin.